Chapter 46: Don't Blink or You'll Miss it!
"Where did you send him to?" one of the voices demanded.
"I did not send him anywhere, you did!"
"Did not!
"Did too!
"Stop! I did it this time," a third voice finally interceded.
"So where did you send him?" both voices shrilly inquired.
"Why?"
"Well, we want to know! We have a right to know… and besides, we can find out anyway."
"Then go find him."
Loki realized he was now standing at the back of a line. He peered around the people in front of him to discover he was waiting to get into a rather posh restaurant. 'Ok', he thought, 'this might not be so bad'. He checked around the lobby area to see if any of his friends were joining him. Not seeing any, he decided he would figure out where he'd been whisked off to this time. They would probably show up eventually.
He knew he was back on Earth, but where. He did not want to ask any of the people around him, knowing his question would sound ridiculous. He was obviously at some fancy schmancy restaurant and they'd think him nuts if he did not know which one. He sauntered up to the maître d and requested a menu.
"Alone sir?" the gentleman asked as he handed him a menu.
"Ah, no. I am waiting for my friends," Loki replied accepting the menu.
"Do you have a reservation?" the man politely inquired.
Loki knew he did not, but… he pulled out the silly plastic card and showed it to the man.
"AH, your room will be ready whenever you are. Do you wish to be seated while you wait for your guests to arrive, sir?"
"Sure." He followed the man into the restaurant and was guided towards a private dining room.
"How many tonight? And will Mr. Stark be joining you as well?"
"Not sure, I invited…" Loki thought, who had last been with him. "Five or six. Maybe more?"
"No problem. I shall alert the waiters of your arrival, mister…"
"Loki, you can call me Loki," the trickster grinned.
"Mister Loki," the maître d confirmed.
"Actually, it is Prince," Sif walked into the room. "Thought we would never catch up with you. Where did you go this time? Have you been here all along?" She was followed by Thranduil and Tauriel.
"Did you ditch my brother?" was Loki's first question as he gleefully noted the absence of Thor.
"No, I am right behind them," Thor said as he entered the room followed by Frigga.
"Oh. Anyone else or is this it?" Loki asked.
"So far, just us," Tauriel replied. "Where are we now?"
"The CUT of Beverly Hills," the maître d replied without blinking. He'd heard worse questions before. He made a note to question the doorman to see how this party had arrived. Some people never bothered to look when they entered, just assumed they were at a decent place. In this case, they were.
"Thank you," Thranduil replied. "Do you have decent champagne?"
"Of course, sir. Shall I select one or do you have a preference?"
"The best you have, of course. Several bottles to start," Thranduil replied staring down his nose at the man as he was a full head taller than him.
"Would you prefer to select some hor d'oeuvres or shall I just provide a sampling?"
Loki waved his hand. "You choose. I am certain you will select the best ones."
The maître d nodded and left to alert the wait staff of the requests for the private room.
Sif wandered to a nearby window and peered out. "I do not see any hills here, just a lot of buildings. Wonder why they call it Beverly Hills?"
"With humans, I no longer question their choices. They are mad to be sure," Loki stated.
"Well, they do have good taste with this champagne. I must find out how it is made," Thranduil replied as a waiter swept into the room with three bottles of chilled champagne. He watched as the young man carefully opened one bottle and poured glasses of the sparkling beverage into glasses.
Loki grinned back. "Indeed, they do," he lifted his glass in a toast. "To champagne! May we never be without it!"
The waited discreetly exited the room only to return with platters of hor d'oeuvres.
Tauriel wandered over and peered over his shoulder as he was arranging them on a side table. "What are these?"
"A selection of our finest hor d'oeuvres."
"I see that, but what are they?" she asked again.
Finally understanding her query, he smiled and pointed to each platter as he named them. "Steak tartare, a big-eye tuna tartare, caviar, a pepper jelly and goat cheese cake – one of my favorites I might add, and our chef's special recipe escargot." Bowing, he exited quickly before they could ask any more questions.
"S car go?" Thranduil looked confused.
"I think he said S scar go," Frigga said. "Does that mean it has been scarred?"
"I fairly sure he said s-car-go," Thranduil replied.
"Well, I know what a car is, we have ridden around in several during our visits here," Loki replied. "But I never heard what they were called. Are these from cars?"
Tauriel picked one up and sniffed at it cautiously. "It does smell like the interior of that one car we were in back in New York." She tapped the shell lightly. "And it is hard. Might be part of a car. I find it odd that humans would eat their transportation."
"Perhaps this one was old and they retired it, or it died? Do they hunt their cars? How do they train them? Are they like horses?" Frigga asked.
"Cars are machines. Much like our flying skiffs… only cars do not fly. They do have flying machines called airplanes and such," Thor stated. "I have been on several as part of the Avengers."
Loki, recalling one of his visits on a flying machine on Earth, scowled. "I suggest we do not eat those if they are from a transportation device."
He selected a piece of steak tartare and tasted it. "This is quite excellent."
The others quickly began sampling the other treats. When their waiter returned, he noted the empty plates with the exception of the escargot, which remained untouched. "Was the escargot unacceptable?"
"Ah, no. It's just we dislike eating mechanical things, not exactly robots," Thor joked.
"Robots?" The waiter was clearly confused.
"Well, they are car parts, correct? That is what we determined from the name," Thranduil explained to the clearly untrained waiter. "I am surprised you thought to pass on these inferior foods upon us."
"Inferior? I am sorry you found it such and I shall inform the chef at once." He picked up the platter and swept it up, exiting the room. Seconds later, shouting could be heard from behind the door.
"INFERIOR? These IDJITS found my special recipe INFERIOR?"
All eyes turned towards the noises coming from the door.
"I shall show them inferior!" The door burst open and the head chef stormed in. "OUT! Out with all of you. You are no longer welcome at my restaurant if you call these inferior!" He was holding the platter of escargot. "These are the finest snails in the world and I have added my own special blend of herbs to the recipe to make this my signature item. And you call these inferior? You are inferior and I spit on you!" The chef followed through on his words and spit upon the floor.
The maître d' raced into the room, followed closely by the young waiter who had alerted him to the potential storm erupting. Realizing he was too late, he watched in horror as the chef spat on the floor at the feet of these guests. "I am so sorry, he did not mean to…"
"Did not mean to? Of course, I meant to!" The chef shouted. "They called my escargot inferior!"
"Marcos, please… you do not know who these people are…"
"I do not care who they think they are. They do not understand fine cuisine; therefore, I shall not cook for them," Marcos crossed his arms in front of his chest. "You may cook for these cretins."
"I am no cretin," Thranduil finally spoke up. "These are not up to my standards and I shall not eat them. In fact," he sniffed his champagne. "This smells musty. I have had better. I believe we shall leave and find a better place to eat." He turned on his heel and exited the room.
"Please, no. I beg you…" the maître d' followed him into the main dining area.
Thranduil turned to stare at the man. "I will not be treated this way." Lifting his chin, he swirled around and headed to the exit.
The main dining room fell silent as they watched this tableau. Loki and the remainder of the group had followed Thranduil's example and left the private room. Loki noticed several plates of the same escargot upon different tables in the room. He grinned, remembering that the chef had said they were snails and not car parts, and with a wave of his hand, the escargot suddenly came alive and started wriggling on the plates. People began to scream as their dinner came alive, jumping out of their seats and tipping over tables.
Frigga, knowing full well what her son was capable of, turned to frown at him. Then seeing the subsequent chaos, started to giggle. She moved to Loki's side. "I believe we need to leave… and quickly!"
"As you wish, mother," He linked his arm with hers and escorted her out the door.
Sif and Tauriel, seeing them leave, grabbed Thor and Thranduil and herded them out. "Time to go, boys!"
Out on the street, they all turned to peer in the windows, watching as the waiters and staff tried to calm the diners down.
"Well, that was interesting."
"The champagne was inferior," Thranduil sniffed. "I have had better."