Chapter 48: Breathe… Just Breathe

"It's not hollowing, silly," one of the blonds tittered. "It's Hall-o-ween. You know, like, where everyone gets dressed up in costumes and, like, goes trick or treating."

"Not everyone," another blonde corrected. "Just kids."

"Tricks?" Thor asked cautiously, darting a glance at Loki.

"Just a saying. Kids go around their neighborhoods, and like, knock on everyone's door and people, like, give them candy. Some silly old tradition, but I always did love the chocolate…" the first blonde said dreamily.

"Chocolate? That goes well with champagne," Thranduil commented.

"Indeed, it does!" one blonde exclaimed. "I like your taste."

A shout from the beach caught their attention. A beach volleyball game had started, and someone had called out the score.

"Curious, why are all those people half-dressed?" Loki pointed to all the sunbathers on the beach along with the players of the volleyball game.

"Swimming suits, dude. Man, are you from Mars or something?" one of the surfers chimed in.

"Or something…" Loki agreed, a slight grin on his face. "So, you swim in those outfits? I would think some of them might fall off in that water." Waves were crashing in towards the shoreline as several girls in bikinis were wading out, splashing and kicking water at each other.

"That's the best part, dude," the surfer grinned, then winked at the girls.

"Ah… I see," Loki replied.

One of the blonds checked her watch. "Hey, girls! We're, like, going to be late for our yoga class!"

"Yoga?" Thor asked.

"It's fun! Want to join us? Great for like, stretching out all the kinks in your muscles," one of the blonds replied, eyeing Thor specifically.

"Why not?" Thor replied. "Do we need anything to do this yoga?"

Tony groaned… realizing his credit card was going to be put to use again. Twenty minutes later, and several hundred dollars poorer, Tony eyed his companions. They were now all outfitted in proper yoga clothes and carrying mats, blocks, and other accessories that had been deemed necessary for this yoga class.

As they entered the dimly lit room, soft music was playing.

"Welcome," the instructor greeted them. "Are any of you new to yoga?"

"Ah, yes," Thor replied, indicating the group that he was with. "These ladies are not, but they invited us to join them."

The instructor smiled pleasantly at the girls. "Yes, they are regulars. I will make sure to offer alternatives to some of the more difficult poses for you. And if you have any questions, one of my assistants can help you." He indicated four people who were seated at each corner of the room.

"Poses?" Thranduil asked. "Difficult? I fear you do not know us very well. Difficult is not an issue." His chin lifted ever so slightly at what he considered an insult.

A gong gently sounded, and the instructor waved everyone to sit down. "On your mats in a seated position. It is time to begin." Once he saw everyone was seated, he started the class. "Close your eyes and begin to think about your breathing. Breathe deeply, from your belly."

Thor frowned, trying to imagine breathing from his belly. He grimaced as he tightened his abdominal muscles, thinking that might help.

One of the assistants sat down next to him and whispered. "Relax, yoga is about relaxation and allowing the prana to flow through our bodies."

"Piranha?" Thor's eyes flew open; a confused look appeared on his face. "Like a fish?"

The lady giggled. "No, silly. Prana is the energy that flows through your body."

"If you want to talk about energy, ask him to show you his hammer after class," Stark grinned as he chimed into the conversation.

"Hammer? Are you in construction?" the lady asked.

"Breathe deeply." the instructor frowned in their direction, indicating their discussion was distracting. "Remember to breathe through your nostrils, keeping your mouth closed as you inhale and exhale deeply. Counting to ten with each inhale and exhale."

Thor closed his eyes again, trying to count to ten as he inhaled and exhaled.

"Excellent, now open your eyes and begin to think about your movements as we begin our warmup." The instructor's voice slowly guided them through the warm-up. "Now, lie on your backs, reach your hands up over your head and stretch fully, pointing your toes to the ceiling send your energy through your heels."

Thor snuck a quick glance at the assistant who was now working closer to him. He saw her movements and mimicked them in hopes of doing things correctly. Feeling he was imitating her pose correctly, he darted a look towards his companions. They seemed to all be doing the same thing. Satisfied he was doing it properly, he settled back into the warm-up, following the instructions as they were announced.

"Excellent work. Now, we will begin our sun salutations – Surya Namaskar A."

"Surrey what?" Tony hissed under his breath.

"Surya Namaskar A, that is the name of the sequence we are about to begin for those of you new to yoga," the instructor explained having overheard Tony's comment. "It refers to the symbolism of the sun as the soul and source of all life. Now, follow me through this sequence. I shall go slowly for our new members. Those of you familiar with the movements may work at your own pace."

The girls that had invited them began to flow through the movements of the sun salutation. Thranduil, Sif, and Loki watched them and then quickly began to join in the flow with the ladies.

"Excellent. I thought you were new to this," the instructor had walked over to where the three were following along, continuing to call out the movements for the flow. One of his assistants had move dto the front of the room to demonstrate the pose.

The instructor slowed as he approached Thor and Tony. "Try not to overthink the pose. This is a sun salutation – awakening the body and offering our gratitude to the sun." Seeing Tony making a mistake, he demonstrated the proper form for the downward facing dog pose. "Do not round your back during down dog."

Tony rolled his eyes and grumbled. "I am not a dog, and I've never seen a dog do this type of exercise."

"Clearly you have never had a dog. This pose is named downward facing dog as dogs stretch like this. We are simply imitating the movement as it stretches your whole body and offers an inversion, allowing the blood to flow to the head," the instructor intoned quietly.

"Blood flowing is what will happen if I am injured," Thor replied.

"No, no, no. Yoga is not a battle. It is a movement for your body. If you wish to do battle or any intense exercise, yoga will help you to become more flexible – but why one would wish to do battle, we prefer peace."

"Clearly you have never met an orc," Thranduil spoke up, mimicking both the words and tone the instructor had just used in speaking to Tony.

"Or a skrull," Thor added. "Peace is not in their vocabulary."

"Orcs are not real. They are part of the fictional world," the instructor chided them. "And did you mean 'skull'?"

"Tell that to the orcs," Loki laughed, recalling his first encounter with the creatures. "And skrulls rank right up there with orcs."

The instructor raised his eyebrows. "Really? Well… this class is not about battles with fictional characters." Addressing the entire class, he continued. "We will now move into the warrior poses as some of our students today appear to be knowledgeable about battles."

Sif giggled. "You are going to get us in trouble if you keep that up."

"I was simply pointing out some errors in his thinking," Thranduil shot back.

"We will start with Virabhadrasana I, or Warrior 1," the instructor intoned. As he demonstrated the movements, the class followed along. "Celebrate your inner strength as you extend your arms above your head, reaching for the ceiling."

He wandered throughout the class, stopping periodically to suggest an adjustment to students to improve their version of the pose. Returning to the front of the room, he stepped into the pose again. "Now, we will shift to Warrior 2, or Virabhadrasana 2. This pose will open up your body and is especially good for your hips. It is good for flat feet, osteoporosis, and believed to improve fertility."

"Great," Tony muttered. "Improved fertility."

Tauriel snickered. "I have heard of your playboy life."

Tony shot her a look that could kill. Tauriel just smiled innocently.

"Our final warrior pose is Warrior 3, or Virabhadrasana 3. Virabhadra was a mythological warrior, and this pose represents the actions of a warrior flying into battle," the instructor explained and he moved into the pose.

"If I had my hammer, I would show him how to fly into a battle," Thor said as he struggled to move into the pose. "This is just ridiculous."

Sif laughed. "Where did you leave Mjölnir?"

"In those silly lockers," Thor started to stretch out his hand to call Mjölnir. "I shall show him how a warrior flies…"

"Thor, no!" Sif hissed. "Not here. This is an exercise class, not a battle."

Thor huffed. "Silly waste of time."

Two hours later, they emerged back into the bright sunlight.

"So, like, what did you think?" one of the girls asked as they exited the yoga studio. "Wasn't that just the best? I feel soooo chilled out now, like relaxed."

"I liked that. I can see where it would help with our training. Thor, we need to add this yoga into our training regime," Sif replied. "Those warrior poses were awesome! I felt so empowered."

Loki lifted one eyebrow at that comment. "Coming from you, that is interesting."

Sif shot him a look. "Seriously?"

"Watch yourself, you are beginning to sound like some of these Midgardians," Thor chuckled.

"Ladies," one girl was looking at her watch. "It's martini time! Can't be late for that!"

"What is this martini thing?" Thor asked.

"It's a drink, don't tell me you've never had one? OMG… you have to join us!"

"Is it like champagne?" Thranduil inquired eagerly.

"Oh, better!" the girls giggled simultaneously. "But if you don't like it, you can always order champagne. Follow us!" They took off down the sidewalk heading south, not bothering to see if the group was following… but they weren't. They had disappeared… again!

Author's Note: Hope you continue to enjoy this misadventure. It is written purely for fun with no intention of any seriousness or even logic as I wander back and forth through time. I enjoy hearing from you, especially if you have an idea of something you'd like to see – either post in a review or pm me. I have a few great ideas already to wander through. Also remember if you wish to review, please make sure you are signed in – anonymous reviews are on moderation.