Chapter 50: Where, Oh Where has my Little Smaug Gone?

"So, he thinks a dragon will protect him from our whims," Skuld sniggered, her name meaning 'what will be' was obviously fitting.

"Appropriate coming from you," Urd replied. For indeed, Loki's misadventures were the acts of the Norns.

"He wasn't supposed to die anyway. Would have been a total waste if you ask me," Verdandi added. "So, why do you believe the dragon will not stop us? Which of course it won't, but curious sister as to your reasons."

"We have moved bigger things, what's a tiny dragon? Besides… I have a feeling they will like this next adventure… or maybe not?" Skuld chuckled.

"Are you going to tell us where this time?" Urd asked. "Or are we going to have to search for him? Although, Smaug does make a tiny bit easier to track them. Few worms left in the world… such a shame."

•§•§•

"It would appear we have arrived at an earlier time than when we left… or even when I first met my remarkable wizard," Thranduil inclined his head towards Loki. "Odd…"

"How can that be?" Tauriel asked. "Although there have been some other oddities regarding time."

"I am guessing that the Norns have something to do with all this. For whatever reason, they have chosen Loki as …" Thor broke off, uncertain as to what exactly Loki had been chosen for.

"A guinea pig?" Stark quipped.

Sif tried to stifle her laugh but could not. Thranduil glared at her. "Do not refer to my wizard as a pig." He frowned as he looked over at Loki. "Especially when he is a dragon. One does not meddle in the affairs of dragons… or wizards for that matter. He might turn you into a toad or something."

"The Norns obviously felt I did not deserve to die, and for good reason. Look at all I have been able to contribute," Loki-dragon replied loftily. "Rather good choice if you ask me, and yes, be careful how you refer to me as I can easily turn you into a toad… or something." This last comment was directed at Lady Sif.

"Well, of course you are going to say that," Sif smirked. "You were the one who was dead… or not dead… or whatever. It is a bit confusing, but I do believe Thor is correct. We can place the blame for our misadventures on the Norns. I wonder what they intend to do with you eventually?"

"I think I shall stay as a dragon," Loki-dragon stated. "Harder to move me about I would think."

Thor chuckled. "I would not trust any form to be safe from their meddling, brother. I suggest you return to your normal form before they bounce us off to some other planet or another."

"What cretin did you state was going to kill me?" Smaug asked, returning to the topic of his supposed death.

"Why do you ask?" Thranduil answered with another question, knowing this was proper form when addressing a dragon for to answer him directly might invoke his anger.

Smaug rumbled a bit before replying. "Well, it would seem to be in my best interest to remove the threat before it allegedly happens."

"Oh, it happens… or happened," Tauriel looked a bit confused at the timeline of events. "In the future, when the dwarves return to reclaim Erebor."

Smaug laughed. "Really? A few dwarves are going to defeat me? Have you not observed my magnificence? My armor is flawless. The pesky dwarves shall perish in their attempt." He spread his wings to display his almost flawless armor.

"I did not say that it was a dwarf that caused your death," Tauriel snapped back, apparently forgetting she was talking to a dragon.

Smaug rose to his full height, his eyes glimmering as he stared at the elf. "Then who?"

Tauriel took a deep breath before replying. "One of the Lake Town men, I was not there… or will not be there when it happens. I just… know."

"Enough! I should have destroyed that town years ago," Smaug began to prepare to take flight.

"Ah, wait," Loki-dragon called out. "I do not believe that is a good idea. I mean, you are alive now and that may never happen given what has been happening to me. Clearly they are including you in my misadventures."

Smaug paused, eyeing Loki-dragon closely. "You believe these Norns intend to have me join you on this quest? What precisely are you questing for?"

"I am uncertain as to the reason behind the quest, for I was killed, or rather thought I was killed by one of Malekith's charming minions. The next thing I knew, I was here, in Middle Earth and met up with Thranduil. Since then we have been having quite an adventure," Loki-dragon explained. "Traveling through the ten realms, although I had once only believed there were nine. Discovered the tenth when I arrived here."

"And we discovered champagne. I wonder," Thranduil considered the dragons in front of him. "Do dragons like champagne?"

Smaug considered this question. "I have never heard of champagne. Was is it?"

"It is a drink, made from grapes. Comes from France," Stark told him. He looked over at the two ladies. "Do you happen to have any left?"

Sif shook her head. "Sorry, Thranduil drank the last drop we had. I am sure we'll find more eventually."

"Bother that, wish we had –" Stark was in mid-sentence when he disappeared.

"Wait! What?" Thor groaned. "This is going to be remarkably interesting if we all go with him."

"Unless he went to go obtain some more champagne," Thranduil said hopefully.

Unfortunately, he was wrong. Seconds later they found themselves standing on a sandy beach, a tropical breeze causing the palm trees to sway slightly – at least those palms that the two dragons had not crushed when they appeared.

"Now where are we?" Thor asked.

"Jamaica," Tony Stark came up the beach behind them.

"How do you know this?" Sif asked.

"Been here before, have a beach house just up the road a bit," Tony pointed off in one direction. "And… ah, Loki, I'd suggest dropping the dragon look. And can you do something with your friend? We're back on Earth."

"What do you suggest?" Loki asked as he transformed back to his normal appearance. Then he noticed Smaug. The dragon was currently grazing on the tops of the palm trees.

"Not bad, what are these?" Smaug asked as he spit out a coconut. "Can I eat them?"

"They're safe. We call them coconuts," Tony answered, then looked at Loki. "Perhaps just a tad bit smaller? At the very least? A little less dragon-y might help."

Loki considered this for a moment, then looked at Smaug. "I do hope you do not mind, but he is correct. We cannot exactly have a rather large dragon wandering about with us. I do promise you will be safe."

"And if I do mind?" Smaug asked, chewing thoughtfully on a coconut. "These are rather pleasant tasting. Better than orcs."

"Anything tastes better than an orc," Thranduil stated the obvious.

"You've eaten orc?" Tauriel stared at her king.

"No, but I would imagine they are not very pleasant, given their tendencies for hygiene, or lack of," Thranduil replied.

"Oh, crap!" Stark pointed down the beach where a group of people were walking along the shoreline towards them. "We have company coming so you might want to hurry up."

"Oh, right. Smaug?" Loki looked up at the dragon.

"Fine," Smaug agreed with a sigh, and with the snap of his fingers, Loki transformed him into a smaller version.

"Will this do?" Loki asked.

"Great, a tiny dragon. Well, I suppose it is better than the full-sized one," Tony replied.

"Could you toss me another coconut?" Smaug asked since he could not reach them anymore. Loki complied by having several fall from one of the trees.

"Hi! You guys sure aren't dressed for a walk along the beach, are you?" one of the people said as they approached.

"Ah, no. Not exactly, we are actually, ah, rehearsing for a movie," Tony greeted the newcomers.

"Cool! What's the title?" one person asked.

"When's it coming out?"

"Do you need any extras?" one asked hopefully.

"It, ah, doesn't have a title yet. Still a work in progress. Doing some set things; trying to give the company an idea so they'll back us. You know how it goes in Hollywood. We might need extras, but it will be a while, and I take it you are on vacation, right?" Tony created what he felt might be a plausible answer as he stepped in front of the group to keep them from seeing Smaug. "Things were going fine till my dog took off. You wouldn't happened to have seen him? Small? White?" Tony gestured an approximate size as he spoke. "Headed back that way." He pointed in the direction they had come from.

"No, didn't see any dogs. We just came from the hotel. Decided to take a walk. Maybe he wandered towards town?"

"Right, right. He loves going into town," Tony was making stuff up as quick as he could, trying to keep in front of Smaug so the others couldn't see the tiny dragon eating coconuts. "Guess we should head into town and find him. Thanks for the suggestion. Shall we?" he quickly asked his companions.

While Tony was stalling the people, Loki reached down to scoop up Smaug, but the dragon decided otherwise and scampered into the grove of palms. "Wait!" he shouted after the disappearing dragon. "He's over there!"

"Damn!" Tony let the word slip out before he could stop himself.

"Is that him?" One person pointed in the direction that Smaug had run. "I thought you said he was white." He looked at Tony strangely. "And he was right behind you."

"Must have been hiding. And yes, he is white, but has some red on his. Lots of red. And yeah, that's him," Tony watched as Loki took off after the dragon. "Listen, I gotta run. Thanks for spotting him!" Tony took off followed closely by the others.

"That was weird," one of the beach walkers said. "That dog was red, wasn't a speck of white on him that I could see."

"Yeah, and he was one nasty looking dog. Hope we don't run into him on our way back."

"Maybe it was makeup for the movie?"

Meanwhile…

Racing after the dragon, the group discovered Smaug was faster than they were, even the three elves who were easily a quarter mile ahead of the others.

"Where the hell is he going?" Tony gasped as he struggled to keep up with the elves.

"How am I supposed to know?" Loki shot back.

"Well, he is your dragon," Thor tossed in.

"I don't think I can claim him as mine. I think he might believe otherwise," Loki shouted. Spotting a flash of red, he added. "Over there! He went that way!"

Thirty minutes later, and still no sign of Smaug, they reached the edge of Kingston.