There are so many thoughts and emotions coursing through Quinn right now that she can barely remember how to speak. A gentle hand being placed on her hip seems to be enough to get her out of her own head. Quinn turns her head slightly to see Santana watching her with a curious expression, but before she can say anything Judy has crossed the parking lot and is no more than four feet from Quinn.
"Hi." Judy says nervously as she approaches her daughter. Quinn instinctively takes a step back, the closer her mother gets.
"Hi!" The women glance at Kai, who is waving excitedly at the grandmother she'd never met. Judy smiles softly at her granddaughter and Quinn finds her voice.
"Take...put Kai in the car." Quinn says softly, but Santana hears her. She takes her daughter from Quinn's arms, glancing at Judy before walking past them to put Kai in her car seat.
"What...I don't even..." Quinn stumbles over her words.
As she looks onto her mother's aged features, she feels her body settling on the rage that had been festering for the better part of a decade. When Quinn was put out by her father, her mother did nothing. Her mother said nothing and she shunned her, just like the rest of them. When Quinn invited her to her high school graduation, she didn't come. Quinn had even invited her to her graduation from Law school but yet again, her mother was absent.
"Quinnie..." Judy trails off as she studies her daughter's features, tears brimming her eyes as she takes in the woman before her. "You've grown into such a beautiful woman."
Judy steps forward and Quinn steps back.
"Thanks Judy. Is there something I can do for you?" Quinn asks coldly. Judy is taken back by the use of his first name, but she understands that her daughter must be angry and hurt.
"I...how have you been?" Judy asks nervously. Now, she isn't sure what to say. When she saw her daughter, she acted out of instinct. It brought her so much joy just to see her child, that she hadn't thought about what she'd actually say to the woman.
"How have I been? Since when do you care about my well being Judy?" Judy sighs, feeling defeated, but she won't let Quinn push her away.
It has taken her longer than it should have, but she's realized her wrongs and she wants to fix them, while Quinn is almost disgusted with the woman in front of her. Disgusted with herself for having held out hope for this woman. Hope that she'd love her the way she unconditionally loves Kai. The love Quinn thought any mother would hold for their child.
So many years have passed, so many milestones, triumphs and tribulations missed...and for what? Because Quinn had a child? That was all. Beth wasn't a mistake or an accident to learn from and she definitely wasn't anything to be ashamed of. She was a gift just like Kai, but instead of being there for Quinn when she needed her mother, her family, most...she was left alone.
"I know you're angry-" Quinn's laugh cuts off Judy's words.
"Angry? Angry?! You don't know the half of it! I can't believe you actually had the nerve to come over here. Do you know how much I tried to forget about your existence? How disgusted I am to have your blood coursing through my veins?" Quinn glares at her mother through tear filled eyes, taking a brave step forward. "There is no excuse for what you did. There's no reasoning or justification. You left me to deal with one of the hardest moments in my life, alone. And you haven't been around for any other moment ever since. I would never do something like that to my daughter. How can you even live with yourself?" Judy's tears overflow as she listens to her daughter's feelings.
"Lucy, I know I can't change the past but-"
"You can't change the future either. You're already dead to me." Quinn says calmly, reining in her anger.
Santana watches the interaction from afar, having sat in the driver's seat to give Quinn some privacy, but she gets out after hearing Quinn yelling, unsure if she might have to break up a fight.
"I know you have no reason to want to speak to me, but I really would like the opportunity to apologize to you." Quinn rolls her eyes.
"You're too little too late Judy." Judy sighs as she watches Quinn get into the passenger side of the black truck.
As she turns to leave, Judy sees Santana on the other side giving her a look almost akin to pity. With a shake of her head, Judy makes her way towards the store. Santana gets into the drivers side, glancing at Quinn who is glaring out of her window. Wordlessly, Santana drives back to her mother's house.
"Let's go get a drink." Quinn looks over at her from her spot in Maribel's recliner.
"Where?" Quinn asks.
"The where doesn't matter. Just come on. I'll meet you outside." Santana walks into the kitchen to her mother, telling her she and Quinn are leaving before saying goodbye and going outside. Quinn gets up and walks over to Maribel and Kai who are seated at the kitchen table.
"Thanks for keeping her for us since I'm sure Santana didn't say it." Laughing lightly, Maribel shrugs casually.
"She didn't even ask, but you're welcome. Go have fun." Maribel smiles softly at Quinn watching as she kisses her daughter goodbye.
"I'm not sure when we'll be back." Quinn tells Maribel who waves her hand dismissively.
"Stay out all night. We'll be fine." Quinn nods, turning to leave out of the door.
"Quinn?" Quinn slows, humming her response. "Don't come back with another grandchild cooking." If Quinn could roll her eyes any harder, she would.
"Goodbye Maribel." She deadpans as she walks outside.
Later, Quinn is sitting in the passenger seat glancing out of the window, wondering where the hell Santana is taking her.
"Are these my final moments?" Quinn says, glancing up at the night sky and Santana rolls her eyes.
"You think I'm going to kill you?" Quinn shrugs.
"Thought I saw a shovel in the trunk." Santana rolls her eyes but her amused smirk betrays her.
"Where are we going?" Quinn continues.
"Nowhere. Stop whining and enjoy the ride." Quinn now rolls her eyes.
When Santana said they were going to get a drink, Quin thought she meant they were going to a bar but that doesn't seem to be the case. When they left Maribel's Santana stopped at a liquor store and bought a bottle of vodka. After that, they got in the car again and had been driving ever since.
"We're here." Santana says, turning into an empty field. Santana drives a few hundred feet on the dirt road then parks.
"You brought me to...a field? Are you sure I'm not about to die?" Quinn asks, staring at her girlfriend curiously.
"I mean...there could be a serial killer watching us right now, but I don't have any plans to kill you." Santana says before getting out of the truck.
Quinn watches as she pushes her seat towards the steering wheel then shuts the door. Walking over to Quinn's side, Santana opens the door and ushers Quinn out. After moving her seat in the same manner she did her own, Santana opens the back door and gestures for Quinn to get in. Quinn eyes her skeptically before relenting and climbing inside. Santana follows behind her, closing the door behind them.
"Get comfortable." Santana says before leaning into the front seat. Quinn watches as the panoramic sunroof opens. Smirking to herself, Quinn kicks off her shoes and lies back against the door and rests one of her legs on the spacious backseat.
"I should've known you were planning something when I saw you cleaning out the backseat earlier." Quinn says as Santana sits in front of her leg.
"What are you talking about?" She asks as she opens the bottle of vodka in her hand.
"I've never seen you clean out any vehicle. Ever. No matter how much I bitch about it." Santana shrugs as she offers Quinn the small bottle.
"Just drink." She says, slipping her tennis shoes off of her feet. Quinn brings the bottle to her lips as Santana rests her head against Quinn's chest, facing the sunroof. Quinn loosely wraps her arm around Santana's neck, her palm resting against her chest.
"And you said a panoramic sunroof was stupid and a waste of money." Santana says. Quinn redirects her attention to the night sky, taking in the stillness of the night and brightness of the stars.
"It is stupid and a waste of money, but this is a nice view." Quinn admits, handing Santana the bottle of alcohol.
"It's peaceful...don't ruin it." Quinn chuckles as Santana takes a drink.
"How'd you even find this place?" Quinn asks.
"Britt and I took one too many midnight drives and ran out of gas out here. Everyone apparently slept with their ringers off so we were stuck until morning. After that, we came back from time to time." Quinn nods as Santana hands the bottle back to her.
"So..." Santana starts carefully.
After everything that happened with Judy, Santana gave Quinn some space to deal and collect herself, before she tried to talk to her about it.
"What?" Quinn asks curiously, glancing down to the head of dark hair.
"You and Judy...what was that about?" Quinn sighs.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"Too bad. You're not about to keep this shit bottled up so start talking." Santana responds. For a moment, the only sounds that can be heard is the breathing of the two women and the crickets outside.
"There's nothing to talk about. You saw everything."
"How do you feel about it? You never talk about how you feel about not talking to your family, but I can see it bothers you. Just...talk." Santana says softly, maneuvering her head to look at Quinn. Sighing, Quinn grabs the bottle from Santana and takes a long swig, wincing at the burning sensation.
"It just...pisses me off! I look at Kai every single day and I just… I could never do anything like that to her, and I would probably kill you if you tried to."
"Do I look like Russell to you? I'm a bitch, but I'm nothing like that jackass." Quinn shakes her head.
"As a parent, I just can't see how you can treat your child the way they treated me. She wants to apologize but I just don't want to hear it." Santana nods understandingly.
"I get it but...remember that conversation we had when we decided on Kai's name?" Santana asks and Quinn sighs as she thinks back to that day.
Flashback
"What are you doing?" Quinn asks. Santana has been sitting in the living room on her laptop for the past two hours and she wants her attention.
"Looking at baby names." Quinn sighs as she sits next to Santana.
Santana wants her children's names to have a meaning, or be significant in some way and Quinn wants that too, but they haven't agreed on anything so far. Quinn is 8 months now, so Santana is determined to find something worth naming her child.
"Keep going." Quinn says after reading a few names on the screen. Santana moves the page and they continue until Quinn notices one she likes.
"Kai?" She says. Santana then opens up another web page and searches for more detail on the meaning.
"It's a million meanings to this." Quinn nods as she looks over the screen.
"Forgiveness is one. I like that." Santana turns to her curiously.
"Why?"
"Forgiveness played a big role in our lives. Without it we would never be here. We've forgiven each other over and over, and maybe she was the reason for it. Maybe we needed to learn how to forgive each other and ourselves so that she could exist. Hell, maybe she needs to be our reminder that you need to forgive to move forward." Santana looks at Quinn unblinking before responding.
"That was fucking deep Q."
"It's supposed to have a meaning right?" Quinn adds with a shrug as Santana smiles.
"Yeah...but it mostly means ocean or something."
"It's the internet, so who knows if any of it is accurate. That's what it can mean to us." Quinn responds.
"Yeah...I like Kai. If you're good with it, so am I." Smiling, Quinn nods as they move on to determining a middle name.
Present
"I do." Quinn responds.
"Take your own advice and try to be forgiving. No ones saying she has to become a part of your life but maybe you should hear her out. For closure or something." Santana continues.
Quinn doesn't respond, but she knows Santana is right. Sometimes you have to forgive other people so that you can close a chapter in your life, even if they never say sorry. Judy at least wants to apologize so maybe...maybe Quinn will give her the opportunity.
"I really love you." Quinn whispers, bringing a warm smile to Santana's face.
"I love you too, now stop hogging all the booze." Santana says as she reaches for the bottle. Quinn chuckles softly as Santana sits up and turns to face Quinn.
Before Quinn can question her, Santana presses a soft kiss against her lips. Quinn wraps her arms around the woman's waist, pulling her closer as she deepens their kiss. Santana blindly sits the bottle down as she presses her body into Quinn's and her fingers slide under her shirt, gently caressing her warm skin.