After leaving Lima, Santana received a text from her mother with Judy's number. Apparently, Judy had come to Maribel to ask if Santana would deliver the message to Quinn after having seen them together. Though, Santana would really rather stay out of it. Yes, she wants Quinn to talk to her family so that she can be happy, but she doesn't want to mediate or be the middleman, knowing that could be dangerous for her. So, for now she'll save Judy's number in case Quinn ever wants it.
"I really miss when neither of you could walk." Santana mutters to herself as she watches her children slowly chase each other around the room.
"Don't say that. Before you know it, they'll be asking you to teach them to drive." Rachel says from the door frame.
"I'd prefer that actually." Santana responds.
It's now been a month since their visit to Lima and Santana has noticed a strange shift in Rachel's behavior towards her. Sometimes she's more affectionate than normal, other times she's very distant and almost cold and very seldom, she's just her regular self. Santana is sure she hasn't done anything to her but she hasn't brought it up.
"Cherish the moments San. Benji, come on. It's time to go home honey." Rachel says softly, holding her hand out to Benji, who completely ignores her focusing on the yellow block in his hand.
"Did mama's boy really just ignore you? I can't believe it." Santana says with mock surprise, watching Rachel walk over to their son and pick him up.
"Very funny." Rachel says as she turns back towards the door.
"Come on Kai, say bye bye to Benji and Rach." Kai runs over to Rachel and hugs her leg.
"Bye bye." Rachel smiles as she places her hand on Kai's head.
"Bye sweetie, we'll see you tomorrow." As Rachel walks out of the room, Santana and Kai follow behind her.
"Q and I were thinking of taking them to the zoo this weekend, if you and B want to come." Rachel nods.
"I'll ask, but I'm sure Brittany would love too."
"Mercedes is coming along too, just so you know." Rachel smiles as she sits Benji on the couch to put on his shoes.
"That's great." She says as she kneels down. Santana watches as Kai sits on the floor near the couch, watching Rachel.
"I'll be by to get him tomorrow a little earlier."
"Any particular reason?" Rachel asks.
"We're going shopping."
"For what?"
"I would tell you but it's a secret and it needs to stay that way." Rachel picks Benji up again and faces Santana.
"I can keep a secret." She pouts causing Santana to chuckle.
"Sure you can."
"I can! Just tell me. I promise I won't say a word." Rachel smiles, bringing her hand across her lip. Her index finger and thumb mimicking a zipper. Santana rolls her eyes and sighs softly.
"Fine, but I swear to god if Britt brings this up to me or Quinn finds out..."
"She won't, I promise."
"Fine. I'm...going ring shopping." Rachel's eyes widen as she stares at Santana. When she doesn't say anything, Santana raises an eyebrow.
"Are you okay?" Rachel blinks slowly before nodding her head and forcing a smile.
"Of course! I hope you find something beautiful and she says yes."
"Thanks." Santana says as Rachel begins to walk towards the door.
"Of course. Good luck. I'll see you soon."
"You think maybe I could say goodbye to my kid before you run out the door?" Santana responds, from her spot in the living room. Rachel turns on her heels, a sheepish smile on her face.
"Sorry." Rachel says, handing Benji to Santana.
"Don't worry about it." Santana says smiling as she hugs her son before tickling his side. Benji giggles as Santana kisses his cheek.
"Mami loves you mijo." Santana hands him back to Rachel and they exit the loft.
"What do you think about moving?" Santana asks. Lately she's been thinking about getting a bigger space. The loft is pretty spacious, but it's not big enough for four people.
"Move where?" Quinn responds before sipping from her glass.
"Somewhere bigger, but not too far from Benji. I was thinking of a house with a yard." Quinn raises her eyebrow.
"You want to buy a house?"
"No, just rent for right now. We need a little more space now that these rugrats can walk." Quinn nods. Ever since having the kids, Quinn has noticed her loft isn't as big with two toddlers.
"You're right. It would be nice to give them more space, especially as they get older."Smiling, Santana takes the hand Quinn has resting near her plate at the table.
"I already pulled some strings and got us scheduled for 3 showings for next week. All of them are the same distance from Benji now."
"So what if I would've said no?"
"You weren't going to."
"And how do you know that?"
"Because, I was going to use my tongue to convince you one way or another." Santana smirks, throwing a wink Quinn's way.
"Well if that's the case...I still might need a little convincing." Quinn responds with a smirk of her own, her voice more sultry than before.
The look of pure lust and want in Santana's eyes sends shivers down Quinn's spine. Leaning forward, Quinn presses their lips together taking Santana's bottom lip between her teeth. Santana swipes her tongue over Quinn's lip before pulling away. She giggles as Quinn follows her lips, desperate to reconnect but Santana isn't willing to let her win.
"There's a baby here, remember?" Santana says softly and Quinn scoffs as she pulls back.
"Any other time you say she won't remember." Santana shrugs.
"She won't, but I will if I get too excited. That's gross." Quinn rolls her eyes, glancing at Kai who's too preoccupied with her food to care about what her parents are doing.
"How was your day?" Quinn asks, trying to get her brain to focus on anything else.
"Pretty stress free, until one of my tenants called. Something about a stupid leaky sink, so I'll go out there tomorrow. How was your day?" Santana says, returning to her plate of food.
"Pretty boring. Mostly paperwork and phone calls. I couldn't wait to get out of there."
"Sounds like you could use a vacation." Quinn shrugs.
"I just had a vacation." Santana's eyebrows crease.
"When?" She asks.
"My maternity leave." Santana rolls her eyes.
"You know that wasn't a vacation. It was barely a leave." Quinn shrugs.
"See if Mercedes would wanna babysit this weekend."
"Why?"
"Because you and I are going to a hotel. No kids, no work and no distractions. Just you, me and a shit ton of condoms." Quinn chuckles softly.
"I'll see if she's free, but what about the zoo?"
"We'll still do that, but then it's just me and you. Got it? Good." Santana says, leaving a kiss on Quinn's cheek.
"Peek a boo!" Kai bursts into laughter as Quinn smiles at her from behind her hands.
Santana smiles as she watches the interaction unfold before her. Placing her knees into the mattress beneath her, Kai leans forward using her mother's wrists to brace herself. Quinn closes her hands again, pausing long enough for Kai to drop her smile as she waits.
"Peek a boo!" Kai falls onto the bed with laughter, Santana joining her as she rolls over before pushing her small body up into a sitting position next to Quinn.
"Shouldn't she be in bed?" Santana asks as she walks towards her bed.
Moments like these only help solidify that Santana wants to spend the rest of her life with Quinn. Watching Quinn being so gentle, loving and caring to their child makes Santana happy beyond words and her own comprehension. Santana didn't really believe in soulmates, until she finally saw hers. At the sound of her voice, two heads swivel towards her with identical smiles.
"Technically she is." Santana playfully rolls her eyes, sitting behind Quinn's legs.
"In her own bed." Santana adds before leaning over Quinn's legs and running her fingers through Kai's long dark hair.
"Are you ready for bed, mija?"
"No." She responds, earning a soft chuckle from Quinn.
"How about yes? Say yes." Santana continues.
"No." Kai responds, smiling at the two adults.
"She knows like 10 words, but this is the one she gets stuck on." Santana says watching as Quin shifts from her side to her back, pulling Kai into her lap.
"You know she doesn't know what it means, right?"
"That's just what she wants you to think." Santana says, climbing over Quinn before getting comfortable next to her.
"What insanity are you talking about now?" Quinn asks with a smirk.
"She and her partner in crime are smarter than we think. Don't let them fool you." Quinn lightly shakes her head as Kai crawls from her to Santana.
"Right...our 13 months olds are planning to take over the world, but only after nap time." Santana rolls her eyes as Kai lies her head on her chest.
"Looks like someone's tired." Santana says, rubbing Kai's back soothingly.
"And I have just the thing for that." Reaching towards the nightstand, Quinn grabs the book sitting near the edge before positioning herself close to Santana and Kai.
Quinn begins softly reading to Kai, who randomly interrupts her by pointing to pictures and saying things that aren't exactly words, before calming down and drifting to sleep on her mother's chest. Santana carries Kai into her room before returning to her bed, lying behind Quinn and pulling her close. Pressing her body into Santana's and threads her fingers through the other woman's pulling their conjoined hands up to her chest.
"Are you tired?" Santana whispers, burying her face in Quinn's hair.
"Not really, why?"
"Have you thought about talking to your mom, any more?" Quinn sighs softly at the question.
Since coming home, she and Santana talked about it briefly and she told her she still wasn't sure if it was something she wanted. Quinn considered Santana's point that she should forgive, but it's proving to be easier said than done. She's more afraid than angry now. After all these years, she's afraid to let her family back in. What if they reject Santana or Kai? Or expect her to be someone she isn't? This is the happiest Quinn has been in her entire life and she won't let them destroy it.
"I have...I just don't think it's worth it."
"Why not?"
"Because...why should I let people like them back into my life?"
"Have I told you, you seriously overthink everything?" Quinn chuckles lightly.
"Once or twice."
"Baby, you're thinking way too much into this. We're just talking about one conversation with your mother. That's it. You have the power to take it as far as you want, but that's a future Quinn problem." Santana responds.
"So what do you think present Quinn should do?" Santana sighs softly, the warm soft air tickling Quinn's neck.
"Here's how I see it. Parents suck sometimes, that's just a fact. We'll have our moments where we fuck up too, but I know it would crush me if one of those snot nose brats told me to go to hell, even if I deserved it. I'd want the opportunity to apologize even if they still said fuck you afterwards." Quinn chews her bottom lip as she listens.
"I want what's best for you because I love you, so...I think you should call her and listen to her apology. You don't have to accept it, but I want that weight lifted off of your shoulders. I'm here to help carry your baggage, but it's fucking heavy so do it to help me out." Quinn rolls her eyes at Santana's attempt at a joke.
"Will you...when I call..." Quinn trails off sighing softly.
"I'll be there. To hold your hand, wipe your tears, rip Judy a new one or kick some ass. Whatever you need, I'll be there. You're never alone." Santana gently responds. Quinn smiles, gently squeezing the hand in hers.
Santana will never know how much those hearing those words really mean to Quinn. There's been so many points in her life where she thought she wasn't worthy of love. Undeserving of love because if her own parents couldn't do it, how could anyone else? But to have a partner who knows her inside and out, to have seen her at her darkest moments and continues to love her no matter what...almost feels too good to be true, but evokes an overwhelming feeling of joy, love, adoration and appreciation that Quinn only wants to share with Santana.
"Is this what love really feels like?"
"It's what my love feels like." Turning to face Santana, Quinn rests her hand on her hip and presses their foreheads together.
"Why are you crying?" Santana frowns, gently wiping the tears from Quinn's cheek. Smiling softly, Quinn grabs Santana's hand and presses a gentle kiss to each of her knuckles.
"I'm just...really grateful. For you." A warm smile settles on Santana's face as she feels her own eyes misting over.
"I swear if you make me cry, you're going to regret every word you just said." Quinn chuckles softly, pressing a lingering kiss on Santana's lips.
"I love you." Santana whispers against her lips as they break apart.
"I know. I love you more than I'll ever be able to show you."
"It's not a competition Q." Quinn mirrors the smirk before her as she gently places her hand on Santana's cheek, guiding her towards her lips. The couple revel in their embrace, using their bodies to convey their love for one another, neither of them any sexual intent.
"I think your phone is ringing." Quinn says softly between their kisses, having heard a soft vibration from the other side of the bed.
"I miss the days when I could just let it ring." Santana says, begrudgingly moving to her nightstand to grab her phone.
"It's Rachel." Santana says softly with a confused frown as she answers the phone.
"Is everything okay?" Quinn watches as Santana's facial features relax upon hearing Rachel's response.
"You try singing?" Santana asks. Quinn props her head up on her elbow as she watches Santana roll her eyes.
"Yeah, it's cool. I'll see you soon." Santana says as she ends the call.
"What was that about?" Quinn asks.
"Benji is apparently being difficult and won't go to sleep. Rachel thinks he might just want to be with me." Santana says before she slides out of the bed.
"So you're going to put him to bed?" Santana nods.
"Or try to at least. I'll text you when I get there." Leaning over the bed, Santana quickly kisses Quinn.
"Okay be safe and hurry back." Santana nods before walking out of her bedroom.
Like all things, parenting comes with its ups and its downs. This is the first time Santana has ever had to go to Rachel's in the middle of the night, and she hopes it's the last. If she can't get Benji to fall asleep, she'll just take him home with her so that Rachel can at least get some sleep. Knocking on the door, Santana sighs softly while she waits for an answer. She doesn't want to be here, but she'd do anything for her kids.
"Hello Santana." Rachel greets politely as she opens the door.
"Hey. Where is he?" Santana says, walking into the oddly quiet apartment.
"Okay, don't be mad, but...I may have gotten to sleep a few minutes before you arrived." Santana groans, running a hand through her hair.
"You could've text me." Rachel offers an apologetic smile.
"I know and I apologize...but since you're here, can I offer you anything? I was about to make a cup of tea." Santana sighs heavily, but considers the offer. She wasn't very into tea until she picked up the wrong cup one day and drank some of Rachel's.
"Sure. I should get something out of this trip." Smiling, Rachel closes the door and walks to her kitchen.
"So, when is B coming back?" Santana asks as she sits at Rachel's kitchen table.
"Tuesday." Santana nods as she watches Rachel pour two cups of tea. After college, Brittany began meditating a lot and found a retreat she visits once a year.
"Why didn't you go?" Santana asks as Rachel walks over to her, placing a mug in front of her.
"I don't meditate Santana." Rachel responds.
"Neither do I, but I went once to make sure it wasn't a cult. It's pretty cool." Santana says before sipping her tea.
"I guess I'll take that into consideration next time." Rachel says, bringing her tea to her lips.
"How've you been? I feel like we barely talk anymore." Rachel's eyebrows furrow.
"We talk everyday."
"About Benji. Now that I'm thinking about it, you've barely spoken to Q either. What's up with you?" Rachel sighs as she sits her mug on the glass surface.
"Nothing. I've just been a little stressed preparing for my upcoming show." Santana nods slowly.
"You sure? It doesn't have anything to do with Hiram does it?" Rachel gazes at her confused.
"Why would my father have anything to do with this?" She asks and Santana shakes her head.
"Nothing, forget I said anything."
"Tell me." Santana rolls her eyes at herself, wishing she'd kept her mouth shut.
"He just...thought I cheated on you because of Kai. I thought maybe he told you that." Rachel rolls her eyes.
"I know you didn't cheat on me and I hope he didn't say anything inappropriate to you. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?
"I didn't want to cause any Berry drama. It's not like he tried to fight me or something." Santana adds causally.
"You still did inadvertently." Santana's eyebrow rises at her words.
"While we were in Lima, daddy said some...unkind words about you that didn't sit well with Brittany."
"They pissed off B?" Rachel nods.
"Rightly so. I won't go into details, but harsh words were exchanged which is why we came back home earlier than expected." Rachel finishes, bringing her mug to her lips once again.
"Damn...does Hiram hate me or something?"
"He just believes he's always right, that's all." Santana nods slowly, her thumb running along the top of her mug.
"Can't blame him though. I'd probably go all Lima Heights on any bitch I thought cheated on my kid." Rachel shakes her head as she sits her mug down.
"It's a little more than that." Santana's confusion only deepens.
"Okay, now you're going to have to give me the details. What the hell are you talking about?" Rachel sighs softly, knowing Santana will eventually get it out of her one way or another.
"If I tell you, you have to swear not to overreact or say anything to him." Rachel says firmly. Santana rolls her eyes after muttering her compliance and waving her hand for Rachel to continue.
"Daddy may have...implied...that I shouldn't let you be a part of Benji's life." Rachel sees Santana's face contort into an angry expression and prepares for her response.
"That bastard told you not to let me see my kid? My fucking kid!" Santana fumes and Rachel sighs as she places her hand over Santana's.
"I understand your anger. I was just as upset, but there's no reason to be because I would never do that to you or Benji." She responds in a soothing tone, gently rubbing the back of Santana's hand.
"He's fucking lucky he gets to be in his life!" Rachel's other hand finds Santana's cheek, gently guiding her attention to the brunette in front of her.
"You have nothing to worry about. I'd never do such a thing. He's already been told that he needs to respect you as Benji's other mother and that he was out of line." Santana rolls her eyes as she lets out a frustrated huff but nods her head.
"Fine, whatever." She responds as Rachel offers a small smile.
Rachel felt a little obligated to take Santana's mind off of the upsetting news she'd given her, so she changed the conversation topic. Soon, they'd been talking for an hour and Santana had realized she'd been here longer than she'd expected.
"Alright, I'm gonna head out. Thanks for the tea." Santana says as she stands. With a polite smile, Rachel stands as well.
"Of course. Thank you for coming and sorry again." She says softly, placing her hand on Santana's forearm.
"It's cool, I signed up for this when we had him." Santana lightly shrugs, as Rachel opens her arms.
Santana embraces the other woman, wrapping her arms around her midsection. As the hug comes to a natural end, Santana moves away, but Rachel doesn't. Rachel's eyes flit between Santana's lips and her eyes as she unconsciously begins to lean forward. Santana suddenly pulls back, frowning in confusion.
"What the hell are you doing?" She takes a step back as an embarrassed blush creeps onto Rachel's cheeks.
"I-I-I didn't...I'm sorry...you should go."
"Yeah, I should." Santana responds harshly as she tries to gather her thoughts, quickly making her way to the door.