Three: Cousin Lottie

Lottie, a spritely young woman with light brown curly hair knocked on the painted wood door of her favorite cousin's house. She hadn't seen Sarah for almost ten years but they had written often and shared such intimate details of their lives that Lottie felt at times she was writing to a sister rather than a cousin.

She was announced by the butler as "Miss Charlotte Miller." Lottie had only been expecting Lady Phillips and Sarah to be in the blue room but she was greeted by two gentlemen also. One quite near her age, and rather dashing and the other was a little older and she immediately recognized him as James, from Sarah's letters.

"Sarah!" Lottie cried, seeing her cousin. The girls hugged and Lady Phillips cleared her throat.

"Oh, yes!" Sarah gestured for the gentlemen to approach. "This is Henri Lefebvre and this is-"

"James Hiller, the American." Lottie finished Sarah's sentence, "exactly as described in your letters. I am Sarah's cousin, Charlotte but everyone calls me Lottie."

"Lottie, it'z a charming name and I'm sure fitting of ze owner." Henri flashed a dapper smile. Lottie smiled back at him. James glanced at Sarah who was biting her lip, trying not to giggle. She met James's eyes and he could almost hear her wondering when Henri became such a shameless flirt.

"Sometimes I forget that Henri is French." James remarked, "and then he meets a woman and somehow I am reminded." Sarah and Lottie laughed at this.

"You're French. It must be terrible for you, the revolution, I mean. They say things are getting much more violent." Lottie began.

"Well, violence of any kind is never a pleasant thing but I didn't spend much of my childhood in France. Both James and I were raised by Doctor Franklin and Moses, who was a dear friend."

"That's right, of course! Sarah wrote to me often about the Gazette. Is that why you've come, to see Sarah?" Lottie inquired.

"I convinced James to come and zee me off to France. I want to cover the revolution for the paper. James thinks it's a bad idea and has spent the whole of the trip trying to talk me out of it." Henri said.

"Well, James is right. It's dangerous Henri." Sarah chimed.

"Indeed, your friend is sensible to advise you to keep away from France." Lady Phillips spoke for the first time in the conversation.

"I think it sounds exciting." Lottie said, "to be in the heart of all that's happening. To witness a whole country changing right before your eyes."

"As someone who has lived through a revolution, and been as you say, in the heart of all that's happening, I must say it really isn't as glamorous as you're imagining," James remarked.

Lady Phillips had her own ideas but firmly agreed with James that Henri shouldn't go and Lottie shouldn't romanticize war. Sarah was amazed that her mother and James, of all people, were in agreement.

The five of them spent the afternoon in conversation about France, the coming changes and the fears for Europe as a whole. Sarah was relieved to see that Lottie's presence seemed to blur to rules of conversation. She was also glad for the distraction from the Lord Wilson dilemma, though it didn't last long.

Her thoughts kept reverting to her mother's seriousness about the man. "Other girls would kill to have your chances." She had said, "He may well be the best offer you ever get." Lord Wilson was someone Sarah could not remember having met, or really heard of, but apparently he was the talk of the town. How lucky Sarah was to be in his sights.

And then there was James. Had they really been about to kiss? Why did the thought of that make her so giddy? Had he come all the way to England just to court her? If so, why hadn't he just said so? Of course, that might not be very American. How did Americans court? Sarah had seen American flirting before, which was usefully playful and almost teasing. James and Sarah teased each other all the time- had they been flirting all along? Was this what being in love felt like? She wanted to scream. Sarah glanced up to see if James had noticed that she was her lost in her thoughts. He had, of course. Sarah knew she had to talk to James but didn't know when they might be alone again or even exactly what to say.

"Lottie, you and Sarah should show us the sights of London tomorrow!" I'm dying to zee the tower-" Henri said.

"That is a lovely idea!" Sarah turned to her mother, "Do you think we could go?"

"Yes but you have to be back for dinner, remember Lord Wilson is calling on us tomorrow. It would be rude to arrive after your guest." Lady Phillips gave a knowing smile. Sarah frowned.

"We will be back in time to receive YOUR guest for dinner." Sarah turned away from her mother. Now James was giving her a very strange look as if he knew he was missing something.

"Good, it would be a shame if you missed Lord Wilson. He has been longing to see you since he returned from the French court. You know his family is thinking of fleeing France entirely. Must be awful, what he's had to go through with the revolution. The least we can do is try to cheer him up." Lady Phillips rose after saying this and patted Sarah on the shoulder. "We mustn't forget what is required of English ladies, what is expected." Then she left.

Everyone looked at Sarah waiting for an explanation. But Lottie has pieced it together before anything could be asked.

"You ought to be careful. Lord Wilson is known for being temperamental. His servants say he yells quite a lot. He may be wealthy but you can't be thinking-"

"I'm not thinking, Lottie. My mother has simply decided. I think she probably has given him the wrong impression too."

"I'm sorry." Henri interrupted, "what is going on?"

"Lord Wilson is coming to court Sarah tomorrow at dinner," James answered, having now put the facts together. Lottie, perceptive as ever realized that perhaps Sarah was upset by the prospect of being courted because her heart belonged somewhere else. Somewhere like Pennsylvania. Still, if Lady Phillips had decided on husband for Sarah there might not be any going back. It was best to calm her down and hope for the best.

Sarah only nodded at James's remark unable to say what she was thinking. Lottie took Sarah's hands.

"Oh, maybe he's not so bad. Maybe you'll really like him. Lord Wilson might have to yell because the rooms in his house are so large you can't hear someone on the other side." Lottie was desperately trying to cheer up Sarah. If this was truly her future she might as well view it with optimism.

"Nothing is settled yet." James added, "he's coming to court you but he could take one look and decide he's not interested."

Sarah tried to smile at James. Both of them knew that was unlikely but they were on the same page at least.

"James has a point. Some people hate gingers." Henri stated. They all laughed but it was short and full of uncertainty.

James wanted to comfort Sarah, hold her, protect her. He wanted to as Henri had put it, "whisk her away" but convention forced him to sit and watch as her cousin clasped her hands and tried to reassure her that it was all going to work out. Henri made eye contact with James, wanting him to say something more but what could he say? Until he could speak to Sarah alone nothing could be determined. They had, he thought, almost kissed the day before but what if she didn't actually feel the same?

Everything was frustrating to him and he had to sit and wait and hope that it could be fixed. James was beginning to understand Sarah's torture here and it only made him respect her more. To be feeling all of these things and to be expected not to say them- is this what women feel all the time? James wondered. How awful.

Tomorrow, he could be alone with her tomorrow. Some time during their tour of the city he would steel a moment and he would speak with her, frankly, without all the social constraints.

Later in the evening Sarah and Lottie went to Lottie's room and started picking things to wear for the next day's adventures, while Henri and James headed to the pub. They both agreed they needed some space from Lady Phillips' plans.

As the walked James pulled his coat collar up. It was cold in the evenings in England, everything was cold. Even Sarah seemed cold, but he was beginning to understand that she had to be cold here, to survive. It was her defense, he thought. She was trying very hard to protect herself from feeling the depth of the fear, she must have had. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Every minute was engrossed in thoughts of Sarah. James felt as though he was going mad.

"Henri, talk to me about anything, please. I need to stop thinking."

"Ok, Lottie has beautiful eyes I think." He stated it so freely as though it was just a thought.

"Leave it to a Frenchman to speak only of women," James said.

"I'm sorry it was the first thing that came to mind." He shrugged, "why are you so controlled all of a sudden?"

"What?"

"You and Sarah belong together. You should have kissed as soon as you saw her. You should be happy together, right now." Henri looked over to catch James's reaction.

"You know that it can't be like that. I have to win her mother's approval." James frowned.

"Why?" Henri asked.

"Because. That's what a gentleman would do." James stared. Henri didn't respond. James has that stubborn look about him that made Henri suspect any further talk of Sarah would result in an argument.

"How do you pronounce the Thames?" Henri asked, changing the subject.

"The river?" James clarified.

"Yes, I noticed it's spelle but Lottie calls it the Tames. Is the H silent?" Henri said.

"I don't know, but I'm sure if Lottie said it like that it must be right. She is British after all." James was beginning to feel completely useless.

"I can't wait to see London tomorrow." Henri beamed, though truthfully he could have replaced London with Lottie and it would have had the same effect.