The time has finally arrived. It is the moment everyone has been waiting for since I hinted at it several chapters ago. Guys' Night! The time when stupidity is at its maximum and no girls should ever listen in. Too bad a group of them don't know the basic etiquette and are allowing everyone to see what goes on. To be honest, this chapter is what happens when everyone I know on Discord talks about stupid stuff. I pretty much took some of our conversations and moved it to the guys, which worked out pretty well. While this may seem like a joke chapter, there's a few important things mixed in. I wonder if any of the readers can spot them. This chapter also gets Shiage Hamazura involved, though I'm not very good at writing him. Let's see, there's one more important announcement.

This story has almost reached 3000 reviews!

That's a huge mile stone and this will be the first Index story to reach that number. Because of that, I want to take a minute to thank everyone who has stuck with ACIP for this long and took the time out of their schedule to comment. I can't wait to see the counter tick up until the magic number. Please, do not spam comments just so you could get that spot. I want it to come naturally. Oh, season 3 is out too. That's pretty cool.

mervinr170: That would be a lot of repetition unless I kept switching perspective at each event. I feel that would cause the scenes to lose impact.

Jujudude: Lengths of chapters are becoming pretty standard. There are many people immune to Misaki's mind control. You're cheering for Ruiko, huh? Well, you might enjoy a few scenes here then. I want to give Mii a few more scenes, but so much else is going on. As for Kongou, that is going to happen at the most inopportune moment. Eve can claim him at any time. I don't know. Maybe I'll update every time you update twice.

OnePunchPlayer: I'm an adult now, summer loses all meaning except it's freaking hot.

Guest: I had to think of a way for Shizuri to fight without blowing up everything again. Academy City will run out of buildings. This magic had already been used before in Rome, where everyone fought in the coliseum but not in the same space. Didn't have to make up anything new. Ricane messed with powerful people and got what he deserved. Aleister lets people do what they want until they interfere with his plans. No, Ricane's a Kihara, he's going down.

edinosaur25: She was designed to be an antagonist. Antagonist doesn't necessarily mean villain. She sees things differently and has her own code of conduct.

anand891996: I wrote this monster of a story and have to reread it to remember exactly what I did or say.

wildarms13: FERRET pretty much created herself and worked out perfectly with Ricane's goals of AI. Too bad Shizuri blew up her core.

Guest: 1) Yes. You caught me. A friend and I came up with that name. 2) Eh, close enough. 3) Is it only them? 4) Not sure when I'll add those. 5) Yeah, same here. 6) I want to update it and I know what the next chapter will cover, but…. My main stories. So much to do! 7) Getting warmer.

Phoenix 7.49: There is a think called a life. When I started out, I had a lot more free time. Think of it as a damn. When it's solid, it holds back an enormous amount of water. A single crack can start eroding that defense and soon the entire things comes crumbling down. Think of the drug as making that crack. Then she keeps being pushed to her limits every time, putting strain on that crack, which causes it to grow and grow until the damn breaks. Lying is an art and takes time to do it successfully. Alas, poor Touma, we knew him well.

The crack shipping guy: Did you know, guest hates your guts? We really don't know what Aiwass knows. I put a lot of effort into non static OCs. That might be, it does make sense. You know how canon characters will react, but OCs? They are new and exciting. Shizuri killing a ferret? Animal cruelty. No.

general ironox: 1000% hilarity will ensue.

Inacio: First TRUE AI.

xaxiel1572: Fun never ends here. Not sure if Ricane will come back unless someone breaks into a hidden prison or something.

Tsun: The reason I wanted to write a long story was to develop characters over time. With short one shots or a couple chapters, characters don't develop. They remain just like their canon selves. With long stories and new events, you can slowly change individuals based on what they encounter. The secret is to keep the core the same, but move their individual selves slightly in another direction. Sometimes, you just need a moment of humor at the darkest time.

Handsomistic1: That's kind of where I got the idea for Shizuri's upgraded attacks. There are limited options with her ability. Silverfang has discussed in details why she loves Shizuri. You should ask her on one of her stories. Dark Matter guy, huh? Yeah, he might not be happy with the outcome, but knowing the city is going to punish Ricane is sure to bring a smile to his face. Kazari would disapprove of spying. Actually ,she's probably watching through the cameras.

The Ultimate Impulse: We can't have that.

Salishious: The imaginary number district has no mass or physical form. A living being would have a hard time getting in there without help. Hyouka brought Mikoto there for a moment because of the dense AIM fields in that spot due to her transformation, and it wasn't stable at all. Aiwass is great in that fact, he doesn't give a shit. He only cares about being amused. I'm going to bring it up in part two, not this chapter. You will see. Only three groups? You underestimate me.

Agent Nine: Silverfang nearly died reading it.

aGuestfromGreece45: I'm sure Aleister has something cooking.

Generation Zero: Ricane has one more trick up his sleeve, but I can't tell you that yet. It's huge and will punish Academy City for chasing him. His usefulness was coming to an end. He helped push the plot along and introduce Aiwass. I debated giving her a portal gun and letter her at it, but that seemed boring. This building was supposed to be hidden and any normal person would never have found it. Magicians have a harder time sneaking into Academy City, so it was a pretty secure building. Those weapons would have shredded most opponents. Remember, Hyouka is a centerpiece in many plans. The real reason Ricane was involved was to establish showing Hyouka could be forced to materialize. Why, well, you can probably guess what Eve has planned. There's always a bigger fish ready to eat the smaller ones, and Ricane forgot that momentarily. Eve's plan is beginning to show itself and we can expect her to make the final move. Ricane was always a threat and the moment Noukan was sent after him, you knew it was the end. Lots of new historical characters available to me. Some new, some you have seen but don't know who they are yet. If I make Pierce the hidden level 5, guest will get mad at me.

Savaris: Can't have all slice of life scenes. Sometimes, you need to blow stuff up. Nah, Motoharu, the resident spy, would be the first to notice. Touma could remove those layers. After all, Carissa needs a strong man in her life.

Sergio644: Shizuri should take Touma on some more adventures.

FrodoFighter: You knew the deal when you sold your soul. No use complaining about it now. Need to give Ruiko a portal gun. She would use it. ""The name was not intentional and is only a means of documentation." - We all know that's a lie." What? You don't trust me. It's not like you helped… come… up… with… never mind. The Doctor was kind of a joke on Doctor Who. Surprised no one commented on that before now. "Aiwass has appeared and is ready to fuck shit up." Truer words have never been spoken. Headpatting vs Handholding is serious business, Frodo. Wars have been waged because of that. It was only due to the Treaty of Evangelion that the fighting stopped. Porn Video Games... Innocent middle school girls need to know about them at some point. Abort mission indeed.

Warning: This chapter is based off of real life events and should not be repeated at home. Viewer discretion is advised.

Disclaimer: Random people do not own Toaru Majutsu no Index or any of the characters. Reading this story may cause you to burst out in laughter or start yelling at fictional characters. This may cause nearby people to assume you have gone crazy. Please read responsibly.


"I'm not sure about this." Ruiko said as the five girls sat at a table in the park across from the arcade.

"You're the one who pushed everyone into doing this." Pointed out Frenda while rolling her eyes.

"I thought we would, you know, tail them or something," Ruiko explained. "Not bug them or…"

She trailed off and glanced at Misaki.

"…Or mind control someone to plant it?" Mikoto finished, all while glaring at Misaki. "Why do you even have these bugs?"

"Ever since Eve's forces encountered us in Academy City, I wanted a way to track them. That or at least listen in on their conversations if they remained in the city." Misaki explained.

"Eve's forces?" Ruiko asked the table, and Kuroko waved her silent.

"I'll tell you later."

Really it was only the level 5s and a few others who knew about the recent attack. Ruiko was part of the Australian strike force.

"…and I'm only taking a few seconds of their time." Misaki continued in protest. "All they are going to do is drop the transceiver near the boys and I'll have someone else move it around as needed. No one is going to know. We can hardly get close enough to listen to them normally and if I read their minds, only I will know what's going on."

"True," Ruiko admitted and peeked over the bush.

While the arcade was surrounded by large windows, the girls were still across the street and could only generally see the boys' outline. Accelerator and Pierce stood out the most due to their unusual hair color.

"Seems like they are all arguing about a game." Kuroko informed the others.

"Why do you have binoculars?" Mikoto asked.

Kuroko didn't divert her eyes, but she did flinch slightly.

"Er… they are useful?" She replied. "For surveying areas from rooftops."

"Basically, spying?" Frenda commented.

"O-of course not!" Kuroko answered. "Surveillance for Judgement matters!"

"She totally does." Ruiko muttered to the others, a huge grin plastered on her face.

"How often have you followed me?" Mikoto asked pleasantly.

"Once or tw-… I-I mean it never crossed my mind!"

This time Kuroko's head whipped around when Mikoto began to spark.

"You might want to calm yourself, Misaka," Misaki pointed out. "The transceiver is about to be placed and if you short circuit ours, it will be useless."

Mikoto huffed, cross her arms, and sunk in her seat.

"We should also try to avoid causing too much commotion while we are here." Added the busty blonde as an afterthought. "I'm using my powers to encourage people to overlook us, but if we cause too big of a fuss, I'll have to actively concentrate."

"Good point." Frenda agreed with a brief nod. "Basically, with a bunch of girls sitting alone at a table, sooner or later some creeps will come to try and hit on us."

"I hate those guys," Mikoto sighed with a face palm.

"Plus three people in Tokiwadai uniforms." Ruiko pointed out.

"You made us rush here." Kuroko informed her and Ruiko looked away sheepishly.

"Shhh," Misaki put a finger up to her lips and handed everyone an ear piece. "I have one extra in case Misaka renders hers unusable-"

"Hey!"

"-so be careful." Misaki pressed a button on a remote and the sound of a rumbling arcade exploded into their ears. There was a lot of background noise and Misaki quickly adjusted the sensitivity. Suddenly, a familiar voice was heard.

"Damn it, Tsuchimikado!" Touma yelled. "Quit spamming low kicks!"

"All's fair in love and war," Motoharu replied. "Victory is all that matters!"

"Choose a better character." Pierce added with a laugh.

"It doesn't matter," Touma groaned. "Anyone I choose the buttons jam and I can't do anything."

"Sure, blame the game, not the player," Motoharu told him sarcastically.

"I give up then!" Touma declared. "See if you can beat this asshole."

Mikoto and Ruiko caught each other's eyes and looked surprised at his cursing.

"Oh!" Misaki looked around at the table. "I feel like I should remind you all that guys will act completely differently when around each other. Don't be surprised if they use harsh language or try to one up each other on everything. Even if what they say is obviously untrue."

"Well, duuuh." Frenda rolled her eyes and everyone else nodded. It took another second for them to realize the guys were still talking and went back to listening.

"…beat Accelerator?" Touma asked.

"Doesn't look like it," Motoharu answered. "Judging by the fact they collapsed on the ground over there, Accelerator is still the number one."

"What did he do?" Ruiko asked, as the girls looked at each other.

"He seems to be on one of those shooting games that has the controller in the shape of a gun." Kuroko informed the others. She was the only one who could make out what was happening. "Jason and that other blonde guy…"

"Hamazura." Frenda interjected.

"Thanks. Anyways, they both seemed to have collapsed on their hands and feet in defeat. Huh, didn't think they would take losing at a stupid video game so badly."

"Video games are serious business to boys." Misaki explained.

"That's so stupid." Mikoto muttered in amusement.

"But kind of cute." Ruiko added and the girls laughed.

"Have fun?" Motoharu asked.

"Had to teach these losers how to play the game." Accelerator huffed.

"He had to be cheating," Shiage said. "It's like he knew where the enemies would come from before they spawned."

Accelerator actually laughed at this.

"Pretty sure Yomikawa-sensei is giving him private lessons." Jason told the others bitterly.

"What kind of private lessons are we talking about?" Motoharu asked amused.

"Pretty sure you're just a sore loser." Accelerator commented amused.

"I'll kick your ass in DDR." Jason countered.

"Everyone can kick his ass in DDR." Pierce interjected.

"Shoot, even I can win." Touma added.

"I'm going to kill all of you."

"After losing to us?" Motoharu asked mockingly. "DDR tournament then?"

"Oh, my…" Misaki held a hand up to her mouth, eyes widened. "Think we can sneak over there unseen?"

"I wish." Frenda said and peaked over the hedge. "There's no way to hide and a bunch of girls walking into an arcade. Basically, we will have every nerd on us in seconds."

"Kuroko." Mikoto said firmly.

"Yes, onee-sama?"

"Give me the binoculars."

"Ah… no."

"What!?" Mikoto stared at her dumbstruck. Kuroko rarely ever said no to her.

"I want to watch," Kuroko explained quickly. "And they are mine. I brought them. I'll let you have it when the ape is up."

"I wanted to watch Accelerator flop around like a fish." Mikoto huffed.

"I'll watch Touma dance." Ruiko volunteered.

"Let me know when Hamazura is up," Frenda told Kuroko. "I want to mock his dancing."

"Alright, alright," Kuroko agreed as her eyes shifted towards Misaki. "What about you?"

"I'm fine," Misaki said. "It will be less of a hassle if I pass."

"You sure you don't want a turn?" Asked Ruiko curiously.

"If there's another round, sure." Misaki smiled at her.

She's being rather accommodating, Mikoto though suspiciously before being distracted by Kuroko laughing.

Little did any of the girls know, Misaki was watching from her own point of view. One of her hands was under the table with a remote, looking through the eyes of one of the spectators. Had they known, they would be asking her to let them see the dance off too. The DDR tournament ended with, as Mikoto was still laughing about, Accelerator at the bottom. As much as most of the girls would have liked Touma to have won, it was obvious he wouldn't. He was only in the middle, trying to get the points rather than using his own moves.

Pierce had won hands down. His moves caused a good number of spectators to give him a thunderous applause.

"That was…entertaining." Ruiko commented, while hiding her smile behind her hand and holding in the laughter.

"Please can we tell them we know?" Kuroko begged the others.

"We agreed we would keep this between us." Misaki reminded her. "Besides, I bet the real juicy stuff has yet to come. Compared to what we saw in England, this is bound to be good."

"And they would never trust us again if we told them." Mikoto pointed out.

"Hamazura would get over it," Frenda dismissed with a wave. "But I don't fancy Accelerator being mad at us."

The girls grew quiet again to listen after that.

"Told you I could win!" Jason bragged.

"Bite me." Accelerator snapped.

"Where did you learn moves like that?" Touma asked.

"Glad you asked, Kami-yan!" Pierce told him superiority. "While you were off growing the size of your harem, I was practicing. Got to improve my game somehow."

"This dumbass has better game than you." Accelerator countered.

"Hey!"

The girls wouldn't have known who he was talking about if Shiage hadn't spoken up.

"Don't compare us to normalfags like him." Pierce groaned. "Of course, Kami-yan's mysterious friends have girlfriends."

"Boss gives out great advice." Shiage said.

"Boss?" Frenda muttered out loud. Mugino would smack him around for calling someone else that.

"Actually," Touma pointed out. "Pretty sure Accelerator and Jason are my friends too. They have girlfriends."

"They have freaking harems!" Motoharu roared. "And we found out you were giving advice to them!"

"He gave me no such advice!" Accelerator snapped. "And who said we were friends? I'm just being blackmailed because you fuckers decided to tell that brat about this."

"He needs to spend time male bonding or he will waste away," Motoharu laughed. "Last Order brought that lie pretty quickly."

That got a round of laughter from the girls as they imagined Last Order pushing Accelerator to go hang out with the guys.

"Pretty sure you need three girls to make a harem." Jason pointed out.

"Screw you too!" Pierce cried out. "You couldn't be happy with one cute girl, you had to get another and then brag to us about it!"

"Sure did," Jason answered and his tone was full of superiority. "I'm not sure how it happened to be honest. Though, I bet Touma was partially responsible for it."

Uiharu wouldn't have come up with that idea without the ape being involved in… whatever this is. Kuroko thought.

"How am I responsible for it!?" Touma demanded.

"With all the talk about your harem," Motoharu explained. "They probably got the idea from that."

"He's dating a second girl?" Frenda asked, mildly bewildered as she looked towards the other girls at the table. . "Basically, I thought he settled with that flower girl. Who's the other?"

Frenda didn't really care about Jason one way or another. She just really liked gossip. Mikoto and Ruiko turned toward Kuroko, who smiled sheepishly, but with a little bit of pride.

"That makes sense." Misaki said, when she noticed this and Frenda gave a curt nod. There were barely any reactions of surprise coming from this sort of at that news.

"Really?" Kuroko asked and actually turned away from watching the boys. "You two aren't surprised… even a little?"

"It was pretty obvious." Misaki pointed out.

"Basically, I thought you two were cheating on her for a while based on how you two kept pushing each other's buttons." Frenda added.

"Have to agree with those two." Mikoto chimed in.

"I always had my suspicions," Ruiko said slowly. "And I was worried if Uiharu knew or not. I'm glad things worked out."

"Well…" Kuroko paused. "It's not like we have done much since we agreed to try."

"Oh, I hope it goes well for you." Misaki reassured her.

This was partially being nice and the other part being hopeful that this would serve to their benefit. If Touma saw those three being happy, it would send a powerful message. Perhaps then he would finally see that having multiple willing girls as partners was an okay thing to have.

"With my luck, I can tell this conversation is going to revolve around you blaming me for global warming." Touma said. "Can we do this while getting food at least? I don't want to punch those two on an empty stomach."

"I know a burger place with all you can eat fries pretty close to here." Shiage suggested.

"Hell yeah!" Motoharu and Pierce chimed in.

"I'm down." Jason added.

"Whatever." Accelerator muttered.

"They're on the move!" Frenda pointed out needlessly. "We need to follow them!"

"Someone's getting into this." Ruiko said with a smug smile and elbowed Frenda lightly.

"Eh…basically, I didn't have anything else to do."

"They are about to exit the arcade." Kuroko reported and then ducked down.

"Follow them from a distance," Misaki ordered. "It's too risky to listen in on them while they are moving. All we need to do is keep them in sight."

"I feel you have done this before." Mikoto accused.

"Maaaaybe," Misaki replied playfully. "It's a lot easier by myself and when there aren't people immune to my ability like Accelerator."

"I can imagine." Mikoto muttered dryly as the five of them got up and began making their way through the crowd, while keeping a respectable distance from the boys. Misaki lagged behind for a moment as she retrieved her listening device.

"Don't look at me like that!" Misaki countered in a hushed whisper. "I have not frivolously used my powers recently. I'm turning over a new page in my life now that he remembers me."

"Okay… I'll give you that." Mikoto relented. "Exercise, doing things for yourself, not erasing everyone's mind whenever you sneeze…"

"Only once did that ever happen!"

"…so I'll give you a benefit of the doubt."

"I knew we were best friends~" Misaki cheered in a controlled voice.

"Don't push it." Mikoto groaned.

"It feels like we are spies," Ruiko said as they ducked around a corner when they saw Motoharu and Pierce turning around. The two of them were just glancing at a passing girl, but they couldn't be too careful.

"We are technically spying." Mikoto pointed out.

"Surveillance." Kuroko corrected.

"Think of it as information gathering if it makes you feel any better." Frenda suggested.

"It doesn't," Mikoto muttered dryly, but her heart wasn't into arguing. She wanted to listen in just as much as the others. The five of them remained a safe distance until the boys made their way to a shop. Mikoto had no idea where to watch them from the open street, but someone else had that covered in mere seconds.

"Let's go to that restaurant next door." Misaki half joked and half ordered. "We can just order some juice and sit on that second floor balcony to listen." She twirled a remote in her hand. "I'll put the receiver somewhere inconspicuous."

"Again, it feels like you've done this before." Frenda pointed out and she replied with a short laugh.

"Shokuhou-san is known to be on top of all the rumors at Tokiwadai." Kuroko said and shrugged.

"I suppose being able to read minds would allow you to stay a step ahead." Ruiko added reasonably.

"It's more I tend to learn how people think," Misaki corrected her. "So you learn where people unconsciously look, their habits, and how to avoid even accidental detection." She flipped her hair back and a couple passing guys glanced over at her. "Imagine having to use my powers to keep away every boy who tries to hit on me."

"I can sympathize." Mikoto agreed, but so softly no one heard her.

Her eyes narrowed slightly when she saw Misaki flash her remote again before one of the waiters allowed the girls access to the balcony. They all ordered random drinks, not really caring about it, as they waited for Misaki to fix the listening device.

"One more… second," She muttered. "And we're back!"

"...aren't!" Pierce declared.

"Dude," Shiage said dryly. "That's just gay."

"Woah there," Motoharu interjected. "We just went over this, traps aren't gay."

"They are boys," Shiage said in a tone that sounded like he repeated it multiple times. "So it's gay."

"Again," Pierce interjected. "While I may not be into traps, reverse traps are an entirely different story. Girls dressing up like guys has its own appeal. The reason traps aren't gay is that you are attracted to feminine features, but aren't turned off by the plumbing."

"And that's gay!" Shiage declared.

"You aren't going to win this." Touma warned him.

"There's some weird logic in their arguments," Jason stated, seemingly bored. "But I'm still not into that."

"If I have to fucking listen to this one more time, one of you is going to find themselves in a hole in the ground." Accelerator growled in annoyance.

The girls stared at each other in disbelief for a moment while glancing over the edge of the balcony toward the burger shop. They could just make out the guys sitting at the table.

"What…"Mikoto asked the table, eyes wide and filled with uncertainty. "W-what did we miss?"

"This is stupid, even by their standards." Kuroko replied and face palmed.

"This is hilarious." Ruiko laughed though her hand, as she tried to keep her voice down.

"I can't believe I'm listening to Shiage being the voice of reason." Frenda sighed. "Basically, it's like I've fallen into a parallel universe."

"Well then." Motoharu changed the topic. "How about you tell us which is superior; boobs or asses?"

The girl's nearly spit out their drinks.

"Why does everything turn into boob talk!?" Kuroko demanded.

"Because guys are simple minded creatures." Misaki explained.

"Hormones too, probably." Ruiko added, trying to defend them a little.

Frenda's hand collided with her forehead with a resounding found her hands moving unconsciously toward her chest instead,

Guys like big ones, don't they?

"Big chests, obviously." Shiage answered.

"You're an idiot." Frenda muttered.

"Obviously it's about the hips and butts." Motoharu retorted. "Chests are only headlights to draw attention. You need to inspect the chassis."

"Is he comparing girls to cars?" Ruiko asked.

"I don't think you can really judge girls by just that." Touma pointed out.

Mikoto smiled at this and Misaki's expression indicated she was purely focused on his words.

"Don't lie," Jason pointed out. "You totally are into huge chests. That's why you like older girls, eh?"

"Dorm managers, right?" Shiage asked. "I knew Boss had good tastes."

"They are nice…" Touma admitted.

A loud bang as Mikoto's head hit the table and Misaki's triumphant expression bore into her mind.

"Of course they do." Kuroko muttered irritated and put her hands on her own chest.

Ruiko looked down at her own. Hers weren't the biggest around, but they were noticeable and she was still growing.

"I hate when my breasts get bigger." Frenda complained, drawing the ire-filled glares of Mikoto and Kuroko. "Basically, I have to buy a bunch of new bras and there are other things I want to buy."

"I understand that pain," Misaki agreed. "Some of my bras get so tight. I may have to get new ones."

Ruiko scooted away from the dark cloud around the girls lacking certain assets.

"So we have two for boobs and one for ass," Pierce declared. "I like them both, so it's really three to 2…"

"I didn't-…" Touma protested.

"So it's down to Accelerator and Kagere." Pierce continued as if Touma didn't try to interrupt.

"What if I like something else?" Jason asked.

The girls looked at each other curiously.

"It's not something like personality?" Motoharu asked. "That's all well and good, but we need how hot they physically are."

"Pretty sure he's an ass man." Pierce said. "This bastard got a second girl and both of them are as flat as a board."

"He's dead!" Kuroko declared, a vein throbbing in her head as she stood up. Mikoto and Ruiko both reached out to push her back down into her , meanwhile, started to snicker quietly off to the side.

"Remember the deal," Misaki warned her. "We will not let them know we are listening in."

"Shhh!" Ruiko hushed. "They are still talking."

The girls settled down and focused on the guys again.

"…like thighs!" Jason declared. "Screw the others."

"Huh?" The girls thought they had heard wrong at first.

"A man of culture," Pierce stated. "I should have expected that from you."

"I'm going to regret asking this," Accelerator muttered. "But if that's true, why are you dating that flower girl? She wears the most conservative outfits out of every girl that follows the damn hero around."

"Just because I like thighs, doesn't mean it's all I think about!"

"Is that why you let Ruiko flip Uiharu-san's skirt all the time?" Touma asked.

"Damn straight!" Jason declared proudly.

"I feel like it's wrong to not tell her about this." Ruiko muttered, more to herself than the others. "But it's so relaxing to check on her underwear and it's helping him too. So it's a good thing?"

"Rationalization at its finest." Mikoto chuckled to herself.

"Is that why you're dating a second judgment girl?" Shiage asked. "Does she have nice thighs?"

"Oh yeah," Jason answered. "All the training and exercise keeps her fit. Tokiwadai has a short skirt too. It's great."

Kuroko blushed slightly, but looked rather pleased with herself.

"Uiharu should get out more too." Ruiko laughed.

"So it's three boobs, to two butts, and two thighs," Motoharu declared. He must have counted Pierce for them all. "Up to you, Accelerator. Tie or do we have an outright winner?"

"This is stupid," Accelerator muttered. "Leave me out of it."

"Aww, he's embarrassed~" Pierce cooed and then laughed.

"We all did it," Shiage pointed out. "Don't chicken out on us."

"What did you say?" Accelerator snapped.

"…nothing."

"That's what I thought."

"Don't pick on him because you're insecure." Motoharu berated him.

"Just tell them," Touma sighed. "It's easier this way."

There was a pause and the girls would just imagine the death look Accelerator was giving everyone. Kuroko and Frenda peaked over the edge of the balcony to try to get a better image. He muttered something, but none of them could hear him over the background noise. Turned out they didn't have to, as his friends burst out in laughter.

"He likes big butts!" Motoharu declared and burst out laughing.

"Nothing wrong with that." Pierce added.

"With Bayloupe having both, I wasn't sure." Jason said.

"Everyone has something that draws their attention." Touma said neutrally.

"I guess even the number 1 has normal tastes." Shiage commented surprise.

"That was a little more than I needed to know." Mikoto said. "Think we should stop?"

"No!"

Kuroko, Ruiko, and Frenda shouted instantly. Mikoto blinked and looked around.

"It's just getting to the good part!" Ruiko explained quickly.

"This information is gold!" Frenda protested.

"Looks like everyone else is all in," Misaki indicated with a sweep of her hand. "Are you staying, Miiiissaaaakkkaa?"

"Ugh," Mikoto groaned. "Against my better judgment, I will. Can't deny that I'm curious."

"Change the topic," Accelerator growled. "Or I swear I'm leaving."

"Nah, you like us too much." Pierce denied.

"He stood up." Kuroko informed.

"But fine, help Tsuchimikado and me settle an argument." Pierce continued. "Tell this idiot how hand holding is vastly superior to head pats."

"Even if you brainwash him to agree with you!" Motoharu thundered. "I'm appalled that you could make such an outrageous insinuation! Head pats are infinitely superior in every way!"

"What the…?" Shiage muttered in shocked.

"Damn it," Touma groaned. "This argument again? I thought we settled this."

"Go for the hand holding!" Jason called out.

"Screw you, Kagere!" Motoharu retorted. "Come on Accel-kun. Tell these low borne the superiority of hand holding."

"…What…?" Accelerator appeared to be at a loss for words.

The girls weren't much better, though Misaki was stifling her laughter behind her hand.

"It's your own biased opinion that's keeping you from accepting the truth!" Motoharu replied.

"Hand holding is not a biased opinion; it's a straight fact of life!" Pierce yelled back. "Hand-holding is far more innocent and impactful compared to tapping your dirty hands on a girl's head!"

"Everyone knows that head-pats are the most innocent gesture one can provide! It's so much better than forcing someone to hold your dirty palm!"

"So you want to put it on their heads? Disgusting. You can't 'savor' a head-pat as well as you could joining hands. The lingering warmth that stays on your palm afterwards. The soft textures of the girl's hand on yours with the gentle pressure of her fingers squeezing against your own. You can't experience the sort of harmony or connection that comes from the simple act of maintained physical contact."

"But it's not about 'savoring', it's about giving!" Motoharu declared triumphantly. "Physical connection isn't as important compared to the message the act itself is meant to represent. The simple nature of it can convey many things; like appreciation, acceptance, and assurance. It might look simple, but there can be a whole lot more going on there than most people realize."

"Wow," Ruiko gasped quietly. "They seem to be really serious about this."

"But it's so childish," Frenda said, both her tone matching her deadpan expression. "Basically, it's like they are five. Hand-holding… head pats?"

An image flickered through her mind at Touma giving her a head pat and she abruptly grew quiet.

"Uiharu was pretty shy when she first held Jason's hand." Kuroko pointed out. "But head pats are only for children, right?"

"Yeah." Mikoto agreed.

She preferred holding hands, but then an image of Touma laying down in her lap patting her head to calm her down before going to stop Accelerator.

A small spark shot from her head.

"Oh?" Misaki raised an eyebrow. "Could Misaka be imagining something… erotic?"

All the girls turned toward Mikoto, whose face had grown a darker shade of red. It wasn't just her face either, her blush was creeping all the way down to her neckline.

"N-no!"

"I wouldn't mind either myself," Misaki mused. "Both would feel good."

"These innocent actions almost seem lewd." Ruiko muttered to Frenda, who nodded.

"The argument is still stupid," Kuroko interjected. "I was hoping for something… more substantial?"

One of the guys seemed to agree with her.

"Aren't both of those childish?" Shiage asked and this turned out to be a big mistake.

"WHAT!?" A loud slam made all the girls flinch.

"Don't think we will let you off the hook because you're a normalfag!" Motoharu thundered.

"Just because you have a girlfriend and can walk around in a perfect relationship you think you are better than us!" Pierce added.

"That's not-…" Shiage tried to explain.

"And then, to add insult to injury, you mock two of the purest forms of expression we can give!" Motoharu continued.

"You think you are better than us, just because you're Kami-yan's protégé!?" Pierce accused.

"He's not!" Touma protested. "I only gave him advice."

"And then Kagere goes and gets a second girl!" Pierce accused, growing a little hysterical.

"Suck it," Jason told him. "I get the best girls."

"Aww~" Ruiko cooed and nudged Kuroko, who rolled her eyes.

"At least he's trying." Motoharu continued. "All guys should try to get a harem. Though, Kami-yan's the only one it occurs naturally."

"No it doesn't!" Touma tried to defend himself. "I have never tried to form one."

"And now he's bragging about how easy it was!" Pierce roared angrily. "He didn't even have to try!"

"Stop taking things out of context!"

"And we all expect Accelerator to have multiple girls farming over him." Motoharu added as an afterthought.

"Heh." Accelerator didn't try to confirm or deny that statement.

"But, you!" The girls could suddenly imagine Motoharu pointing directly at Shiage. "You are a normalfag who comes here and shows off his hot girlfriend with a huge rack! Then, on top of that, you try to put down our pure and innocent expressions?!"

"You're the worst!" Pierce finished. "It's people like you that lead the world into ruin by destroying all that's sweet and good in the world."

"Isn't that taking things a little far?" Mikoto asked, but her attention was focused on the conversation like everyone else. Frenda had a huge smile on her face at Shiage's predicament.

"You might as well leave." Motoharu told Shiage. "This is basic stuff and your uselessness wouldn't add anything when we talk about important stuff, like fetishes. Get out."

"Little harsh there." Kuroko agreed.


Across town, Rikou's head shot up from the armchair she was sleeping in. As a result, the magazine on her face, which she must have been reading beforehand, proceeded to fall to the floor.

"…Hamazura is being bullied."

"Heh." Shizuri glanced over from the couch for a moment before going back to her phone. "Wish I was there to watch." Her eyes narrowed and she cussed under her breath. "That last update better not have ruined my phone; it's so slow now."


"Ah, sorry guys." Shiage apologized after a moment of silence. "Don't know really much about that except the fact bunny girls are awesome."

"A man of culture!" Pierce declared and he suddenly sounded jovial.

"They made up already." Frenda informed the others, as she glanced over the side of the balcony. "He has his arm around Hamazura's shoulders."

"So they were joking?" Misaki asked.

"Seems to be that way?" Kuroko agreed. "Maybe it's some kind of initiation?"

"What color?" Jason asked suddenly.

"NO!"

To the girl's surprise, it was Accelerator who shouted.

"We are not having that stupid discussion again." Accelerator told them.

"Yeah," Touma agreed. "We got detention last time because you guys wouldn't see reason."

"And we already know black is the best." Accelerator added.

"What the hell?!"

"Are you nuts?!"

"Are you high?!"

"Bullshit!"

"Cat girls are better anyways." Jason added, which started an entirely new argument.

If it wasn't for the waitress bringing their order and telling them they were disturbing the other customers, things would have gotten much worse. While they were eating, their discussions grew much more subdued and they started chatting about some of the recent news in Academy City.

"Seems like Kagere-san chose that outfit for a reason." Ruiko snickered and nudged Kuroko.

"Sheesh, don't remind me." Kuroko rubbed her brow, but part of her thought about finding that outfit and surprising Jason with it one night. He shouldn't be able to hold back. A perverted grin appeared on her face and Mikoto sighed at the site.

That's not going to be good. She thought.

"So, Kami-yan," Motoharu said. "Which are better, head pats or hand holding?"

"There's still on that?" Frenda asked out loud.

"Shh!" Mikoto, Ruiko, and Misaki hushed her. Kuroko shrugged sympathetically at her.

"Why choose?" Touma asked. "Both have good points. I've been listening to you two argue about this forever."

"Don't be a pansy and just tell us." Pierce demanded.

"Come on, Boss." Shiage prodded.

"Shut them up already." Accelerator muttered.

"Fine." There was a dramatic pause before Touma continued. "I will say again, both have good points. Head pats allow you to give happiness while receiving your own at their expression. While hand holding is enjoyable for both parties to share each other's warmth. However!" He paused again. "Both of them pale in comparison to another form of expression!"

"There's another?" Jason asked interestedly.

"Thinking outside the box?" Shiage questioned. "I don't think those two will accept it easily though."

"Then share you wisdom, oh great Kami." Motoharu said mockingly, using Touma's alias.

"It's really not that big of a secret." Touma continued. His tone indicated he was explaining something obvious, like telling a kid why the sky is blue.

Both the girls and guys were quiet and Touma finally continued.

"Lap pillows."

"Lap pillows?" The guys asked.

"Lap pillows?" The girls asked.

"Lap pillows." Touma repeated.

"What the fuck?" Accelerator said.

"Didn't see that coming." Shiage and Jason said in unison.

"Kami-yan, that's so… vanilla!" Motoharu declared, sounding slightly appalled. "You disappoint me."

"I'm not one to deny a good lap pillow, but that's not nearly as impressive as hand holding." Pierce told Touma.

"What exactly is a lap pillow?" Frenda asked.

"It's where the guy lays down and puts his head into your lap." Misaki answered. Mikoto looked up at the sky and felt warm all of a sudden.

"Listen, you idiots!" Touma silenced them. "Lap pillows are superior because of the level of trust required between the boy and girl. The girl allows the boy's head in her lap and in a dangerous position where a lot of perverts could take advantage of that. While the guy lowers his guard and gives the girl power over him. Then they can stay in close contact to enjoy each other's warmth. It is the pinnacle of trust between two people and only true relationships will have that. THAT is why lap pillows are superior to head pats and hand holding!"

The silence on both sides was deafening.

"Wow," Ruiko muttered. "When you put it like that…"

"Even a little intimate contact can mean a lot to guys." Misaki pointed out. "It's why they get flustered over every little thing we do."

"Which makes them easy to mess with." Frenda agreed.

"Onee-sama?" Kuroko asked. "Are you okay?"

The girls turned to see what she was referring too.

Mikoto had gone silent and was beginning to emit small sparks. Her face was scarlet and her gaze was focused on the drink in the table in front of her. Her mind was buzzing with the image of her and Touma on the bridge that night so long ago. She had hurt him when he was preparing to go fight Accelerator and regretted her actions. As he was unconscious, she had put his head in her lap. Tears had poured from her eyes and Touma had patted her head to reassure her. It was at that time her true feelings began bubbling to the surface. Looking back, that moment was pretty intimate.

The sparks intensified.

"Misaka-san?" Ruiko asked cautiously.

"I wonder if she's dreaming of something…inappropriate?" Misaki mocked again. "That blush makes it seem so."

"N-no!" Mikoto denied and a sudden screech ran through all of their earphones.

"AHH!" The girls cried out and yanked the devices from their ears.

"Watch it!" Frenda growled.

"Sorry!" Mikoto apologized. "I was… it was an accident."

The earphone in her hand was ruined and Misaki signed as she took it from her.

"Here's the extra," Misaki said with a loud sigh. "Break it again and you don't get another one. Also, you will reimburse me for the one you broke."

"Guess that's fair." Mikoto muttered as Misaki started getting the signal back.

"So how often do you think those guys get lap pillows?" Kuroko asked the group.

"Thinking of giving one to that guy?" Frenda teased.

"If he likes them," Kuroko retorted unabashed. "I'll do anything for my lover."

"Wow, Shirai-san," Misaki couldn't resist joining in the teasing. "You got that far already?"

"Maybe…" Kuroko replied mysteriously.

"Ignore her," Mikoto mumbled. "She's done nothing."

"I've seen Kagere-san get one from Uiharu." Ruiko informed them, placing a finger on her cheek as she remembered.

"What?!" Mikoto and Kuroko rounded on her.

"Huh," Misaki muttered, looking up. "She's bolder than I thought."

"The flower girl did?" Frenda asked in shock. "Basically, I thought she was too shy to do anything unless someone's life was on the line."

"It wasn't anything like that." Ruiko elaborated quickly. "He was over helping me with some homework and he laid his head on Uiharu's lap. We all agreed she needed a break from her computer and that prevented her from getting up from the table."

"All of you?" Kuroko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay, two of us." Ruiko amended.

"Sounds like you two let a guy in your room often." Frenda said with a sadistic smile on her face. "Was that really all that happened?"

"W-what? Of course it was!" While Kuroko and Frenda pressed Ruiko for more information, Misaki leaned over toward Mikoto.

"You acted quite strongly to the lap pillows." She whispered. "Anything you like to tell me?"

"No," Mikoto whispered back. "It happened a long time ago and… involved some things I rather not talk about."

"If it happened before we made that agreement, fine." Misaki said and pulled back. "I'll find out you know."

She smiled and Mikoto bit her lip.

I hope she's just teasing again, but knowing her… she really might. The Sister project isn't something she should know about.


"The Savior's group is currently being monitored by onee-sama's group, Misaka 13577 reports." She and two other sisters were standing on a roof of a building overlooking the other guys and girls. Misaka 13577 was currently looking through the scope on her sniper.

(Make sure Accelerator has fun, MISAKA reminds you as MISAKA repeats her orders. He needs a night out with his friends.)

(Make sure to let us know if you see him hitting on any other girls. Misaka wants to tease him about it.)

(He wouldn't do that! MISAKA protests as MISAKA waves her arms angrily.)

"We will monitor the situation closely, Misaka 19090 reassures the moderator. But we are more interested in observing the Savior to discover why Misaka 10032 refuses to reconnect to the network."

"Isn't Misaka 10032 living with the savior? Misaka 13067 asks. What other information from magazines might she have that has not been distributed across the Network?"

The entire network went silent.

(AHHH! Too much negativity for this Misaka!)

(Those images are not suitable for this network! MISAKA yells as MISAKA tries to cover her eyes but can't get the images out of her mind!)


"So… bunny girls, huh?" Pierce questioned. "Can't say I disapprove of your choice."

"Best type!" Shiage declared. "It's the knowledge that even the toughest girls can become docile like a bunny that makes them so great. Man, if those ears were real, I bet they would be unbelievable soft."

"Knowing him," Accelerator pointed out. "That probably got him into trouble."

"Don't remind me," Shiage groaned. "I accidently sent Mugino and the others a picture of one instead of something work related."

"None of us wanted to see that!" Frenda half shouted. That declaration received some muffled laughter from the other girls.

"You're still alive," Touma pointed out. "That's a good sign."

"Ah… I was lucky. She got distracted by something else."

"Since fetishes were brought up-…" Pierce started to say.

"You brought them up!" Touma accused.

"Don't sweat the details, Kami-yan." Motoharu hushed.

"We already know them." Jason pointed out.

"Ah!" Motoharu exclaimed in an overdramatic tone. "But Hamazura doesn't know ours and he was brave enough to tell us his. We owe him that much."

"No one asked." Accelerator mumbled.

"You don't have too-…" Shiage tried to tell them.

"Nonsense," Pierce reassured him. "You need to know who you are dealing with. I got some amazing material about some bunny girls I'll pass over to you next chance I get."

"…Really? Thanks man!"

"No problem, dude. Think of it as an apology for earlier."

"Perverts, all of them." Frenda moaned.

"We knew that already." Mikoto and Misaki said in unison. They glanced at each other and quickly diverted eye contact.

"Girls can be perverted too." Ruiko pointed out.

"Why did you look at me when you said that?" Kuroko demanded.

I wonder, Mikoto thought amused.

"I'll save you time," Touma volunteered. "Tsuchimikado is a siscon."

"And blue-hair is a pervert." Accelerator finished.

"Those two are in sync." Ruiko commented.

"Touma and Accelerator are BFF's if you couldn't tell." Jason said.

"There is nothing wrong with caring about your younger sister." Motoharu countered. "There is no one as innocent or adorable as them."

"And I don't discriminate against fetishes." Pierce added. "Regardless of what there are or how many someone has, there are positive traits in each one. I love all girls, regardless of age, size, type, or color!"

The girls were conflicted about this. On one hand, it was admirable Pierce didn't discriminate against girls just by how they looked. On the other hand, there was something off putting about his words that made everyone but Misaki shiver. She simply rubbed her chin and listened in silence.

"What about you, Kagere?" Shiage asked.

"He's into naked aprons." Touma volunteered.

Kuroko started coughing on her drink.

"Actually," Jason amended. "I discovered something new."

"Oh?" Pierce asked. "You discovered the joys of multiple fetishes?"

"There goes the last shred of sanity in this group." Accelerator muttered.

"Saw a new one online and thought, this is great." Jason explained. "It's called Hand-Bra Blue Jeans."

"What?!" Every girl looked confused at this, except for Misaki, who threw a hand over her mouth to stop the laughter.

"You mean the one where the girl only wears blue jeans and then covers her chest with her arms or hands?" Touma asked.

"Yep."

"Why do you know that?!" Mikoto raged.

"He can't hear you, you know?" Misaki reminded her. Mikoto flushed and sat back down.

"So it's just topless?" Accelerator asked. "That's boring as shit."

"You don't understand, Accel-kun!" Pierce declared. "There's a much bigger picture here. This exposes the girl's soft body from the waist up, while being mismatched between the boyish style of blue jeans. It's essentially the true essence of the onion of girly and boyish styles. What's even greater is that at the same time, the hand-bra parts forces even proud and shameless girls to make an embarrassing pose. You can even see a form of eroticism by making it look like the girl is rubbing her own breasts, yet nothing is actually being revealed. It's been a pretty popular fetish lately. Good choice! Though, naked aprons are still great too!"

"Ah, I've seen that before," Shiage admitted. "First time I saw that the girl had bunny ears."

"Quit mixing fetishes!" Jason snapped.

"Your normalfag is showing again." Motoharu told him. "Learn that fetishes should be distinct and only people who truly don't understand the glory of each one begin to mix them."

Mikoto really wanted to face palm while Misaki was failing to hide her amusement. Frenda and Ruiko were somewhere in between. Then her eyes fell on Kuroko, who seemed to be day dreaming.

"Do what you want, Kuroko," Mikoto said. "I just don't want to see a bunch of jeans lying around the dorm."

That snapped her back to the present.

"I wasn't going to!" Kuroko protested.

"Leave them lying around?" Ruiko interjected. She and Mikoto gave a quick laugh as Kuroko rolled her eyes.

"Come on," Frenda muttered. "Basically, let's hear his already."

"We already know Touma's fetish," Misaki whispered. "And I'm sorry to say, you're going to be disappointed."

"You know he's lying, right?" Frenda replied, her eyebrow raised. "Older girls are what guys say when they don't want to admit it. Basically, I heard him say that in England."

"True," Misaki conceded. "But until he says otherwise, there's a chance he is telling the truth about that. In a perfect world… well, we know that isn't true."

Frenda simply shrugged her shoulders, but otherwise agreed with the Mental Out's line of thought.

Well, Misaki thought to herself. If we find out he likes something else, I have my phone handy. I could order what he likes in seconds.

"Boss must have a pretty cool fetish then." Shiage stated.

Several of the guys started laughing.

"This is going to be good." Frenda whispered.

"Hah!" Accelerator's voice rang out first. "The damn hero likes the most vanilla things in existence."

"It's pretty boring." Jason agreed.

"Shut up!" Touma demanded. "There's nothing wrong with them!"

The girls' attention was purely focused on his words.

"So, what is it?" Shiage asked.

"He likes dorm manager onee-sans." Pierce explained.

Kuroko had a front row display of the other four girls visibly deflating.

They knew this already. However, she kept her thoughts to herself.

"Like the older sister types?" Shiage clarified.

"Exactly!" Touma said triumphantly. "An older woman has experience and tenderness of looking after others. There's no better feeling than coming home to a girl who treats you gently. You feel safe and cared for by them. It's relaxing."

"After everything you go through," Jason laughed. "I can see why you would prefer that type."

"My luck keeps me on my toes." Touma agreed.

"Yet he is always surrounded by younger girls," Accelerator pointed out. "So he's full of crap."

Four of the girls looked noticeably brighter.

"What about Kanzaki or Orsola?" Motoharu suggested deviously.

"And Oriana Thomson." Jason added.

"Yeah," Touma muttered. "They are hot, not going to lie about that. But… I doubt I would have a shot with any of them."

"Oh my fucking…" Accelerator mumbled.

"Kami-yan probably dreams of them all the time." Pierce laughed. "I bet he wants them all to wear maid uniforms and 'service' him."

Misaki looked thoughtful and Mikoto kicked her under the table. Ruiko bit the corner of her lip and Frenda just looked annoyed.

"Don't involve me in your delusions!" Touma scolded loudly. It was obvious he was trying to avoid yelling in the restaurant. "It's only once in a while, like after Tsuchimikado shows a stupid video! My last dream was of Mugi-…" His words cut off abruptly.

Not like the girls would have noticed as Misaki, Frenda, and Mikoto started coughing violently.

She is older than us. Ruiko thought dejectedly. And she's stunning. My body can't compare to hers.

"So the truth comes out!" Pierce accused. "How far have you gotten with her?!"

"Nowhere!" Touma retorted.

"She better not have tried anything." Misaki muttered darkly.

"That's not very ladylike." Mikoto whispered amused, but she felt exact the same way.

"Don't push it."

"Doesn't Itsuwa live with you?" Jason asked rhetorically. Everyone could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Ah, good point," Motoharu stated. "I bet he goes back to his new apartment to get pampered by her. He probably cuddles with her in the same bed at night."

The silence lengthened.

"Why did he grow silent?" Kuroko asked and a dark cloud formed over the table.

"I'm… sure there's a r-reasonable explanation." Ruiko said, stuttering a little. He is in high school after all. I heard sex is something that happens there.

"Holy crap…" Jason muttered.

"Assholes," Touma growled. "All of you."

"So he finally grew a pair?" Accelerator asked.

"Nice man!" Shiage congratulated. "Probably a good idea you didn't try to woo Mugino. She's a little… crazy."

"But the crazy girls are best in bed." Pierce protested.

"Yeah, though I doubt even Boss would have any control." Shiage explained. "Mugino would say something like, 'drop the pants' and if he took longer than three seconds, would use her ability to burn them off."


"I feel Hamazura is saying something bad about me." Shizuri stated suddenly, looking up. An itch on the back of her neck had alerted her. "Next time I see him, I'm going to kick his ass."

"…don't hurt him too much." Rikou pleaded.


"I… actually, I totally see that." Touma admitted.

"So Itsuwa, huh?" Motoharu prodded. "I definitely see her as an older sister type. She pretty much took care of everyone in England, being our guide and more…but what about the dorm manager at Tokiwadai?"

"She's nice," Touma answered. "A little strict, but she has to be. Pretty hot though. She still has that caring aura."

"Is he talking about ours?" Mikoto, Misaki, and Kuroko asked in unison, getting a giggle from Ruiko.

"Knowing, Kami-san," Pierce laughed. "He's going to meet her randomly on the street, save her, and get her to fall for him.

"No way!" Kuroko declared. "That woman is a monster!"

"Pretty sure she's capable of taking down anyone in Academy City." Touma muttered.

"I heard she took out an elite assassination unit once." Mikoto said.

"I actually heard that too," Misaki agreed. "And there's some evidence to back up that claim."

"I remember when she took out Shirai-san in one move." Ruiko reminisced.

"I couldn't sleep right for a week." Kuroko mumbled.

"Do you have some, like, retired Special Forces as a dorm manager?" Frenda asked. The girls were silent. "B-basically, I was joking."

"It's possible." Mikoto mumbled.

"So what's Accelerator's?" Shiage suddenly asked.

"You can go-…" Accelerator started to say when Motoharu, Pierce, and Jason interrupted.

"He's a lolicon."

The girls couldn't resist laughing at this. They remembered hearing about it in England, but it was still funny.

"Fuck you all."

"If you aren't," Motoharu challenged. "Than what is your secret pleasure? If not younger, older? Bayloupe is like two years or so older than you. Maybe light hair or British accent? There has to be something you like specifically."

"None of your business."

"If you don't tell us," Pierce said mockingly. "Then we will just spread a rumor that you like something worse."

"Who cares?" Accelerator said with a yawn.

"Don't push them," Touma warned. "They will go way overboard if you challenge them."

"They don't have shame," Jason added. "Nothing is off limits."

"I don't care," Accelerator informed them. "What other people think doesn't matter to me."

"Okay," Motoharu said and his tone betrayed his thoughts. He knew he had won. "I guess we tell everyone you're into anal stimulation."

Shiage started choking and he wasn't the only one.

The girls did another spit take.

"With his powers," Jason added quickly. "It would be easy to do that."

"That's so vulgar." Misaki said, after a few deep breaths. The smirk on her face betrayed her amusement.

"Kuroko, binoculars now." Mikoto demanded.

Kuroko was still coughing, as she had been finishing her drink, and tossed them over. Mikoto peered over the ledge and looked for Accelerator. His face was frozen in a combination of rage and disbelief, like he wanted to kill them, but the sheer brazenness of their choice temporarily knocked him senseless. She could see and hear Pierce and Motoharu laughing. Jason had an elbow on the table and his hand propped up his head. He looked amused and had a huge smile plastered on his face. Touma had face palmed and Shiage was slowly scooting away from the table while still in his chair.

"He is pissed."

"Is he going on a rampage?" Frenda asked excitedly. "Shame Mugino isn't here. Basically, she would love this."

"Why do guys have such a fascination with butts?" Ruiko asked. The girls looked at her for a moment and appeared thoughtful.

"Because they can't see their own easily." Misaki said with a smirk, causing the others to laugh.

"Okay, you all die now."

"The table's cracking Accelerator!" Touma yelped and the sound of chairs scraping back caused the girls to focus on the boys.

"You could always tell us." Pierce pointed out, a lot braver than someone without an ability to protect themselves probably should have.

"We aren't going to judge," Motoharu reassured him. "Well, maybe a little. Nah, that's a lie, we will totally judge you, but we aren't going to hold it over you. We're all friends here."

"I wouldn't want to get on your bad side." Shiage volunteered.

"You would squeal the first time someone threatens you for the information." Accelerator said.

"Luckily, we are the only ones who know." Touma pointed out.

The silence lengthened.

"Tsk." Accelerator clicked his tongue loudly. "Fine. If anyone else finds out, I'm killing all of you." He paused for a moment. "Don't you say anything, bastard."

"I wasn't going to." Motoharu protested in a tone obviously implying he was going to.

Every girl held their hand up to their ear, eagerly listening.

Crash!

A loud noise caused them all to jump. From the sound of it, one of the restaurant's waiters must have dropped a plate or glass. During that brief moment of surprise, they missed Accelerator's answer.

"Nice." Jason said.

"Really?" Touma asked surprised. "Huh, never would have guessed."

"No need to be embarrassed," Motoharu reassured him. "You have fine tastes. Not necessarily exotic, but decent."

"I don't want to hear that coming from you." Accelerator grumbled.

"What did he say?" Ruiko asked the table. "I missed it."

She sounded disappointed.

"I don't know," Mikoto replied and pouted. "I really wanted to hear this."

"Shhh," Frenda hushed. "They are still talking."

"I've seen some pictures of girls with them," Shiage admitted. "But it's mostly of them taking it off."

"That's the erotic beauty of it," Pierce explained. "It's the joy of watching them slowly peel them off and reveal their innocent forms beneath it."

"Sounds like clothes." Kuroko pointed out.

"Based on Aogami-san's words," Misaki reasoned. "It sounds like stockings or possibly pantyhose."

"Ugh," Mikoto moaned. "Hate wearing those. They feel so restricting."

"You should try being fashionable sometime." Misaki retorted and Mikoto answered with a glare.

"But Bayloupe doesn't wear them." Touma pointed out.

"And?" Accelerator asked.

"Just thought you might have gravitated toward someone who did." Touma explained.

"I have other criteria, idiot."

"Maybe they roleplay in the bedroom?" Pierce suggested. "That always adds a level of spiciness."

"Heh," Motoharu snickered. "Accel-kun has to keep it down while they are getting it on, or Last Order will hear."

"Wouldn't be surprised if Worst joined in." Jason added and the table burst out laughing.

"Yomikawa did tell us they were caught in bed once." Touma said.

"Really?" Shiage asked impressed. "Nice! I wasn't sure he had a girlfriend, but it makes sense. I bet a lot of girls would want to be with the Number 1. I got a lot of catching up to do on these stories."

"As much as I hate him having a girlfriend when I don't," Pierce said. "You expect him to have one. He and Kagere, though those bastards decided to go and upgrade to their own harems."

"Accelerator isn't denying those claims?" Mikoto stated in shock.

"It's either true or…" Ruiko started to explain and died off.

"…Or he's blowing smoke." Misaki finished. "I told you, guys try to one up each other."

"If Hamazura tries to say he got with me," Frenda mumbled, her hands balling up into fists out of obvious vexation. "Screw the rule of silence; because he's going to regret it."

"I didn't try." Accelerator stated superiority.

"Go to hell!" Motoharu and Pierce claimed.

"Doesn't a harem require at least three people?" Jason asked.

"You suck too!" Pierce added.

"How did you get a second girl?" Shiage asked.

"…Not sure, really." Jason replied. "They sort of came to me." He paused. "I finally realized why Touma here couldn't give a straight answer when Misaka-san and Shokuhou-san confronted him."

"How did he find out?" Mikoto said out loud. "I didn't think Touma would say anything." Ruiko looked away guiltily. She had some insight into this from Misaki.

"I wish you didn't tell them." Touma said.

"Important news had to be shared." Motoharu laughed.

"Answered that." Mikoto mumbled.

"What was the problem?" Shiage asked. "It would be awesome to have a harem."

"It's tougher when you are friends with them." Touma pointed out. "If you chose one, you risk alienating them from the others. There's also not wanting to hurt them if it doesn't work out. You also worry if it's fair to them because there's a chance you might gravitate toward one of them more than the other, slowly pushing them out. Facing that decision is a lot different than thinking about just fooling around."

"Coward." Accelerator said.

"I was planning to run when Kazari and Kuroko confronted me." Jason informed the group.

"He was?" Kuroko asked surprised. "I didn't sense that at all."

"Good actor then." Misaki told her.

"I managed to request some time to think about it." Jason continued. "And then the next day… well, let's just say things worked out in the end. I was panicking, whatever decision I made would possibly cause one of them to hate me."

"You actually try not to have the teleporter hate you?" Accelerator asked mockingly.

"We never hated each other," Jason corrected him. "Well, she might have hated me at first, but that's long past."

"True." Kuroko agreed.

"Aww~" Ruiko cooed and Kuroko kicked her under the table.

"I still say if I could get two girls to fall for me," Pierce argued. "I would immediately give it a chance."

"You mean you would fall to the ground crying in relief?" Touma joked. "And thanking every god you can think of in the process?"

"You know it!"

"I would have to turn them down." Motoharu stated. "After all, they pale in comparison to my sister."

"Siscon." Touma said.

"Look at you," Motoharu said with a laugh. "Standing up for yourself like old times."

"No girls here to impress with chivalry?" Accelerator suggested.

"I'm just tired of your shit." Touma retorted.

"Heh, he's pretty nice like that." Misaki giggled. "Though, his first appearance usually isn't so composed."

"Amen." Mikoto agreed.

"Hmm." Ruiko thought back to the sports festival when she first met Touma. I was pretty impressed with his tenacity in completing his task; even though he knew he was going to lose. The scene when she pretended to be injured and get Mikoto to dance with Touma back then swam to the front of her mind. I wonder what would have happened if I danced with him back then?

"I remember he ran away from Mugino and me when we first met." Frenda added.

"With good reason, right?" Misaki and Mikoto asked. Frenda simply shrugged under their suspicion.

"So how often do you think Accelerator does it with his harem?" Jason asked.

"He probably has to keep it low key because sensei knows he's doing it." Motoharu replied. "From what I heard, Bayloupe must like to roleplay. With those dragon horns accessory and all. What about you man, you get any?"

Kuroko coughed loudly, but was ignored.

"I think we are way too early for that," Jason answered. "And young. It's fine with those two. Bayloupe's like eighteen… probably? That's what we agreed on, right?"

"And pretty hot." Pierce added. "If I had a harem, she would definitely be invited."

"She has standards," Accelerator huffed. "So she would never go out with you."

"Hah!" Touma, Shiage, and Jason laughed.

"Did… Accelerator just compliment someone?" Mikoto asked the others in shock.

"He's a little… aggressive," Ruiko defended. "But I think those insulting nicknames are just his way of saying he cares. He's just too shy to admit it."

"Doesn't he call you by your name?" Frenda asked and Ruiko blinked.

"Huh. Now that I think about it…"

"If you could add another girl to your harem," Motoharu asked. "Who would it be?"

"No one," Accelerator answered immediately. "Too much work."

"Come on," Motoharu prodded. "No one isn't a good answer. Just tell us one girl and why?"

"They are really forcing him to be social." Misaki said amused and the rest of the table laughed.

"Pssh." Accelerator paused for a moment. "That Saten girl that follows the hero around."

"Me?!" Ruiko exclaimed, her shock mirrored by the other girls seated around her.

"Why her?" Touma asked surprised.

"Someone's protective of his harem." Pierce commented.

"Shut it!"

"She's not nearly as annoying as the others," Accelerator explained curtly. "And she's one of those that can get along with the brat."

"What did you do to make him like you?" Mikoto questioned and Ruiko shrugged. She had no idea.

"And she's not bad looking?" Motoharu prodded. Accelerator didn't answer. "Guess that's as much as we are getting out of him. Skipping over the normalfag-…"

"He's not wrong." Misaki pointed out. "You're very pretty, Saten-san."

Ruiko flushed slightly.

"Hey!" Shiage said indignantly.

Frenda laughed.

"Glad he knows his place." Pierce said with a laugh. "So, Kagere, who would you add to your harem? I suppose it would make a harem if you got a third girl."

Kuroko was actually interested in this. It would never happen, as she and Kazari would have something to say about it, but it would be interesting to know. The silence lengthened for a few seconds and the answer Jason gave surprised everyone.

"Touma's mom…. OW! Fuck!"

There was a dull thud of something being hit.

"What?!" The girls exclaimed.

"I think you broke my arm, you ass!" Jason yelled.

"Maybe if you weren't being retarded!" Touma shouted back. "Then I-…Ow!"

Another thud was heard.

"They are punching each other." Frenda reported looking over the ledge.

"Boys." Misaki sighed, as if that one word explained everything.

"Sounds like he was just pushing Touma's buttons." Ruiko said.

"I've seen his mother," Mikoto interjected. "And she's really young and pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if she's a model."

"Is his mom really that hot?" Shiage asked.

"No!" Touma shouted. "We are not discussing this!"

"Here's a pic." Motoharu volunteered. There was a brief pause.

"Wow, I would bang her-…shit! That hurt, Boss!"

"Next person who says anything about my mom is going to die!" Touma declared.

"He seems serious," Ruiko said and all the girls started peeking over the railing. The silence stretched out.

"Your mom is hot." Accelerator said in a deadpanned voice.

"Not you too!"

The girls couldn't stop laughing, like the rest of the guys. It was obvious Accelerator only said that to piss Touma off.

"What about you, boss?" Shiage asked, helping out by changing the subject. He thought he was at least. "Who would you add?"

"That's not already part of your harem." Pierce added swiftly. "And we know all the girls currently in yours."

"Yeah, right." Touma scoffed.

"It's hard to believe he's that dense." Kuroko sighed and face palmed.

"Part of his charm," Misaki explained. "It's part of that innocence."

Pretty sure that has nothing to do with it, Frenda thought. Lack of self-confidence around girls or something. He complains about that luck of his a lot.

"Shush, Kuroko." Mikoto hissed. Kuroko rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. Ruiko gave her a sympathetic look, but she wanted to hear too. If they talked, they would miss what the guys were saying because they didn't stop.

"Hurry up already!" Motoharu pressed on.

"Probably…" Touma began.

"If you say Kazari I'm going to kick your ass." Jason warned.

"Turnabouts fair play, right?" The guys laughed. "Nah, I'm thinking of Ishikawa. She's pretty nice and attractive, yet goes along with all of our antics."

"Good choice," Pierce complimented. "She's got the ojou-sama vibe, but is approachable. She's was a huge help during the cops and robbers game."

"She's not too annoying." Accelerator agreed.

"The Accelerator seal of approval." Jason said and the guys laughed.

"I wasn't expecting her." Ruiko said.

"He probably chose someone he knew they couldn't argue was already in love with him." Frenda huffed. "Basically, he just picked someone he knew that fit the criteria."

"You think?" Kuroko said with a smile and Frenda glared at her for a brief moment.

Note to self, Misaki thought. Keep Yuna Ishikawa away from him.

"Speaking of harems," Jason continued. "You ever solve your problem yet?"

The girls froze and grew silent. This was information most of them wanted to hear.

"Really wish Tsuchimikado would keep his damn mouth shut." Touma muttered indignantly.

"What's done is done," Motoharu replied. "So answer already, Kami-yan."

"It's… shit." Touma paused. "Damn, I can't say I never thought about it. Who wouldn't? A bunch of hot girls who want to be with just me? Shit, it seems like paradise."

"See," Pierce said triumphantly. "You should just go for it. I'll keep giving you shit about it, sure, but man, we're your friends. If I can't get one, at least someone can. Not going to cockblock you dude."

"One girlfriend is already tough." Shiage added his two cents. "You got to remember birthdays, buy gifts for holidays, and spend time with them. Yeah, it's great, but wouldn't having too many girlfriends make it so you never had a moment to yourself?"

"Like they will never shut up." Accelerator simplified. "I know what girls are like when they flock together. Look at the third, fourth, and fifth."

"I wouldn't say it like that," Touma said. "But when I actually sat down and thought about it, not like someone gave me much of a choice…" His words darkened for a moment.

"We didn't push him into anything," Mikoto said to Misaki. "Was it someone else?"

"Not that I know off." Misaki muttered darkly. "Someone else was pushing for the harem route too?"

"You two were serious about that?" Frenda asked in shock. "Basically, I thought you two were just saying that because you knew you would lose."

They ignored her.

"…and there are drawbacks to a harem." Touma continued. "Crap they don't mention in manga. Already have several roommates and now even my new apartment is getting crowded. Lessar, Index, Itsuwa, her, and now two more."

"But think of the benefits, Kami-yan." Motoharu encouraged.

"Not saying there aren't… but is it right?"

"Isn't it up to them if they are okay with it?" Jason asked.

"That's what Misaki and Mikoto pretty much said." Touma confirmed. "Still, part of me still feels it's wrong. The other part wants to strangle me for being hesitant."

"That's your inner male." Accelerator said and gave a short bark-like laugh.

"Seems like your talk with him put more stress than you thought." Ruiko said to Misaki.

"Yeah…." She trailed off. "That wasn't my intention . I tried to reinforce it was his decision in the end."

"Really not much we can do at this point." Mikoto agreed and her fist clenched under the table. She would deal with the aftermath, even if it involved shooting lighting into the river for a couple nights.

Uiharu and I really got off easy, Kuroko thought, looking at the others and feeling the atmosphere getting more depressing. Well, for now. Stuff could happen to cause problems. I hope we can get through it. I would hate to have to resort to drastic measures.

"So regardless what you assholes think," Touma continued. "It's not black and white."

"Oh, we know that." Motoharu informed him. "We were doing our own research waiting for you and making bets."

"It's pretty obv-… wait, what research?!" A loud bam rattled the table and the girls jumped at the noise. "Where did that packet come from!? Do you carry that on you at all times!? Where did you hide it?!"

"Don't sweat the details." Jason said.

"Seriously?! Do you guys always carry a copy?"

"They really made a packet." Kuroko informed the others, thought she really didn't need to. The others were watching over the ledge now too.

"So we made a list of pros and cons." Motoharu explained and separated a section of the packet of paper. Touma looked down as it was slid over to him. "I think we got anything you could imagine being hesitant about."

"Traditionalism…fair to them…huh, never thought of this one…" Sounded like the more Touma read, the more surprised he became.

"Counter argument is on next page." Pierce informed him and Touma flipped.

"A lot of this is almost word for word what I was told," Touma muttered. "And it's actually well written." He paused. "If you would do this, why do you guys keep failing to do even basic assignments?"

"This is important." His two friends said together, their matching synchronized tones being completely serious.

"We did a lot of research," Jason said. "Accelerator even helped."

"So they would stop bothering me." Accelerator huffed.

"This is amazing." Shiage commented, reading over Touma's shoulder. "Dang, I wish I had friends who would do this for me."

"Even Hamazura understands how amazing we are." Motoharu bragged.

"He doesn't know you like I do," Touma refuted and turned a page. "Pros, huh? Why am I not surprised the first one is: Sex with different girls every night."

That broke the girls' silence and they backed up.

Everyone looked embarrassed to some degree.

"I mean… it would be bound to happen eventually." Misaki agreed.

Her composure was probably the best out of all of the girls, but there was still a light pink tinge to her cheeks. She was far from being an innocent girl, but she was a virgin. The image of her and Touma connecting bodies was strong enough to leak through.

The other girls weren't as composed.

Ruiko and Frenda were looking at the table, their faces bright red. Both of them didn't have a lot of experience with intimacy involving a guy they liked. Frenda had contact with guys, but mostly targets she had to suck up to. There was no attraction at all. Mikoto was the worse though. Her face was crimson and a few sparks appeared around her head as the image of Touma lowering her onto a bed and reaching down to remove her clothes. Kuroko was lost in her own thoughts, a small trickle of drool running down the side of her mouth.

"Well, no shit," Pierce answered. "Skinship is the best thing about any relationship."

"I wanted to put it as a con," Accelerator said with a sigh. "It's annoying hearing girls say it hurts and crying at their first time."

"How does he know?" Every girl asked.

"And could he be any more insensitive?" Mikoto added.

"Speaking from experience?" Jason asked. "Pretty sure Aogmai was referring to a hug."

"Optimism on his part." Shiage interjected, which received a round of laughter.

"Nice one," Motoharu told him and gave him a high five.

"Yeah, yeah." Touma muttered and flipped the page as the girls watched. "What's this? Girls who might suggest the harem route?"

"Woops," Aogami said and plucked the paper away. "Didn't mean for you to see that."

"You left everything in there, didn't you?" Motoharu accused.

"Heh, might have?"

"Too late, I saw." Touma informed them. "And I also saw Misaki's name was at the top."

"She's the only one devious enough to pull something stupid like that off." Accelerator huffed.

"How rude!" Misaki puffed out her cheeks. "It's just if you want something done right, you do it yourself."

"I thought it was the more you knew you would lose in the long run." Mikoto jabbed at her, repeating Frenda's earlier words. Misaki glanced over at her with an exasperated look.

"I have no doubt I could have succeeded, but it would have caused unnecessary damage in the long run."

"You told me a little bit of it at the mall." Ruiko pipped up. "But I kind of want to hear more."

"Later, I promise." Misaki replied and then pointed back toward the boys.

"Seriously," Touma continued. "How much work did you guys put into… really? You actually ranked the likelihood a girl would join my harem?"

The girls' jaws dropped in shock.

"Couldn't calculate a percentage," Pierce apologized. "Instead, we just focused on which ones are more likely to say yes. If you noticed, Shokuhou-san's on the top, as she was the one who would be the most likely one to start this."

"Tell me how long have you been working on this!" Touma demanded

"Most of the year." Motoharu answered, unabashed. "We updated it constantly when new information became available."

"It's going to be our thesis when we attend a university." Pierce added. "Your Harem and You: What to know about making a harem. It's going to be published in all the scientific journals."

"I don't think that's a real thing." Frenda commented.

"I would read that." Shiage confirmed.

"Basically, of course you would." She muttered after he said that.

"What have you all been smoking?" Touma asked exasperatedly. "Why would you guys help them?"

"Seemed fun." Jason explained.

"I thought it would bother you when you found out." Accelerator explained.

"Explain to me then," Touma said. "Why is Ruiko number two?"

"Me?" Ruiko repeated in surprise, similarly to the last time she was mentioned; only this time she had pointed to herself.

"Accelerator had a good point," Motoharu explained. "It bumped her up from number three to in front of Lessar."

"You did?"

"She reminds me of one of those puppies that follows you around." Accelerator explained irritated. "You can't just kick her away and eventually get used to her. Then she just gets involved in your life and stays there."

"Like him and Last Order." Jason snickered.

"Kill yourself!"

"I'm pretty sure a lot of these have to be mistakes." Touma muttered, eying the list.

I need to get that list. This singular thought was shared amongst nearly all of the girls present.

Mikoto and Frenda were curious about what their ranks were, though they wouldn't say it out loud. Misaki wanted to know if there were any rivals she wasn't aware of. Ruiko and Kuroko shared a look. Neither of them wanted to see that list. Not to say they weren't curious. Ruiko just wanted to respect Touma's privacy and Kuroko didn't have any stake in this. This was Mikoto's fight and she would just help when she could.

"All of them have been peer reviewed by scientists," Motoharu countered. "Their accuracy is guaranteed."

"Who would even… oh, right." Touma paused when Jason laughed. He pushed the papers back to Motoharu and Pierce. "I can't look at this anymore. If I see anyone else, the next time I meet them, I'm going to question myself if anything they do is a sign they really like me."

"That's the first step," Shiage reminded him. "If you think they might be interested, then you can ask them out. Shoot, even if you don't think they will be, you can take the long shot. That's what you told me."

"Quit using my words against me!" Barked out the unfortunate boy before settling down with a sighed. "Seriously, you guys make it sound so easy. If I tried what you guys suggest most of the time, I would end up being slapped, kicked, and possibly killed."

"Heh, probably," Mikoto agreed. "I would at least shock him."

"After freezing up because you couldn't believe he said that." Frenda countered, which caused Ruiko to quickly stifle her laughter.

"I wouldn't mind if he tried a few of their suggestions." Misaki said thoughtfully, causing all the girls to stare at her. Kuroko gave a brief nod.

She understood.

"Pretty sure if most of the girls found out you were starting a harem," Motoharu laughed. "They would come flocking to join. Look at how popular your level 5 persona was."

"Mugino and Frenda might come and beat the crap out of you." Shiage said reasonably.

"You could try something." Pierce suggested.

"Oh, this will be good." Accelerator said and he suddenly sounded interested.

"I'm going to regret this," Touma released a long sigh. "But go ahead."

"What if… hear me out all the way before interrupting… when you're alone in your apartment, Index and anyone else is spending the night somewhere else." Pierce paused. "You message someone a few times and then maneuver the conversation to the fact you're home alone. Here's the important part." He raised finger. "Mention you haven't had the apartment to yourself in ages due to having a roommate and then say it feels empty." His voice grew much more amused at this point. "Then you 'accidentally' send the conversation to every girl on your friend's list."

"Fifty girls end up at the Boss's dorm?" Shiage guessed.

"You are severely underestimating his way with the ladies." Jason admonished him. "His room would be paaaacked."

"Full of sluts." Accelerator agreed.

"There's no way anyone would." Kuroko said.

"You would." Ruiko pointed out. "If a certain person asked."

"Shush you."

"I might." Misaki murmured.

I'm watching you, Mikoto thought as the other girls turned toward Misaki.

"Yeah…" Touma finally admitted. "I know what will happen."

"Hah!" Motoharu laughed triumphantly. "You know there would be girls all up racing to barge in to get some… alone time."

"He does?" Frenda and Ruiko asked in shock. Mikoto and Misaki froze, while Kuroko face palmed.

He knows that much and it still took forever for him to realize onee-sama's advances.

"Lessar's on my phone." Touma pointed out. "She'll consider any text I send an invitation to come over and try something."

"True." Motoharu and Jason admitted.

"I could see that." Mikoto admitted.

"I'll ignore the fact you have a cosplaying dragon loli at your beck and call… this time." Pierce said through gritted teeth. "… Actually, screw you Kami-yan! Don't you have enough-…mmph!"

Motoharu covered his mouth.

"If you know about all the stuff they prepared," Shiage asked Touma. "And the girls are willing, which really is not something I ever expected to say myself. Wow, that sounds weird."

"You get used to it." Accelerator told him. "I've had to deal with this since I met these idiots. Okay, you damn hero, I'm getting bored of this conversation, so I'm going to lay it out for you. It comes down to this: everything fell perfectly in place for you. All that's holding you back is that you need to grow a pair and either tell them all to fuck off or go along with their idea. Accept the consequences of whatever you decide and quit being so indecisive."

"As he so eloquently put it," Jason elaborated. "Dating isn't something set in stone. Some relationships work out, some don't. If you don't try, you won't know. Yeah, sometimes they end badly, but if you live your entire life thinking the worst is going to hap…pen…" He paused. "Huh, your luck already does that-…Ow! Stop hitting me your fucker!"

"You deserved that." Touma told him.

"I like how guys can be serious and still insult each other constantly." Ruiko said with a small laugh.

"Isn't that what those two do?" Frenda asked, gesturing to Mikoto and Misaki.

"We weren't always friends." Mikoto corrected. "Different interests, different beliefs on how to act, and we rarely spoke to each other."

"You rarely spoke to me," Misaki huffed. "I tried to speak to you many times before we became best friends."

Through other people with your ability, Mikoto thought bitterly. She quickly pushed down that feeling. Misaki had been working hard to change herself and Mikoto should try to treat her nicer too.

"I'm onee-sama's best friend." Kuroko corrected Misaki.

"She's got you there." Mikoto said, relieved to change the topic.

"So mean." Misaki crossed her arms, pouted, and focused back on the boy's conversation.

"…not so easy to follow your own advice, eh?" Shiage asked sarcastically.

"This is a completely different situation." Touma protested. "Besides, aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

"I'm going to change sides." Shiage answered.

"Nice, man!" Pierce high fived him. "Looks like it's five against one."

Touma unleashed yet another huge sigh.

"You really aren't going to let this go, are you?"

Misaki's eyebrows narrowed and Mikoto felt goosebumps on her arms. The others knew something was about to happen and remained quiet.

"You know, if I actually go through with this, you won't be able to mock me for being oblivious, right?"

"Oh, however will we live?" Motoharu asked mockingly. "I guess we all have to go and become model citizens…. Kami-yan. We will ALWAYS have something to mock you about."

"Don't worry about it," Jason added. "I got at least five things I can list off the top of my head."

"Like how you can't even do the simplest tests." Accelerator added.

"School is a lot more of a hassle than it needs to be." Shiage muttered. "Can learn more on the streets."

"If you give it a try," Motoharu pushed. "I promise we won't make fun of your harem for one month-…"

"Week!" Pierce interrupted.

"…week." Motoharu finished.

"I'd prefer the month." Touma said dryly.

"Take what you can get."

"Arg… FINE!" Touma slammed a hand on the table. "I'll try it you bastards. It's not like it will work out, but I'll try. I owe Misaki and Mikoto an answer and, as much as I think this is a mistake, there is a certain bit of logic in these words." He paused. "Did anyone else hear cheering?"

"Probably every girl you've met just had a premonition." Accelerator muttered.

"I'm warning you," Jason interjected quickly. "If I see you trying to convert Kazari and Kuroko, I'm going to castrate you."

"You caught me," Touma's voice oozed sarcasm. "I was definitely going to try to add Uiharu-san to my harem-…ow! Asshole!"

"I warned you!"

"Their flirting again." Accelerator pointed out unnecessarily to the others.

"Obviously they are bi," Pierce said while nodding sagely. "They slept together before."

"What?" Shiage was completely lost. Due to him being the newest member of the group, he didn't know all the inside jokes.

"We shared the red hot flames of passion between-…" Jason started to explain.

"No!" Touma cut him off. "You know that's bullshit! It was Stiyl who conjured the flames and attacked us!"

At this point, the girls weren't listening anymore. What Touma had said began sinking into their brains. Kuroko was the least one affected by his words and would have been amused listening to their arguments, if the sight of the others didn't distract her.

This might have been a mistake. She thought.

Mikoto and Ruiko were both crimson and were looking down at their hands. Kuroko had no doubt hundreds of things were running through their minds. Frenda was muttering harshly under her breath. Her face wasn't nearly as red as the others, but it was still quite visibly flushed. However, it was Misaki's expression who gave Kuroko pause. Her eyes were staring up at the sky and a half smile adorned her face. The expression was rather content for the information just bestowed upon them. The fact she wasn't freaking out and appeared satisfied with the outcome changed Kuroko's mind.

Maybe this can all work out.


Feel free to leave a review, comment, suggestions, or ideas, I love reading them. If you have a question you wish I ask and would like a quick answer, feel free to message me directly. I try to respond to those within a day or two. Comments, I tend to respond to in the next chapter.

This chapter was inspired by the shenanigans that occur on Kamachiland discord between SIlverFang, me, and a variety of others. A lot of the topics being covered here were discussed in detail there. You may see some similarities between them and other stories. Another piece of news, this story has almost reached 3000 comments! It will be the first story on the Index category to do so! That's a huge milestone. I want to give thanks one again to all those that have stuck around this long.

SF88: *Applauds* You're a shitbag, but nonetheless, congratulations Dark. And for those of you who noticed a similar looking segment, he had my permission to use it for this chapter.

That said, I must now add the comment that has since become a tradition by this point:

Fuck you, Dark.

DB: Can't you feel the love tonight? SF loves my work, but she dislikes how long the chapters are getting. Reason I had to cut this in half. She wouldn't review a 30k one.