AN: I do note own Euphoria or any of the characters.

This contains mentions of attempted suicide, alcohol and substance abuse, and fairly heavy cussing. Please do not read if this triggers you.

~Rue~

It felt so fucking good floating through the universe, without a worry in her mind

~Jules~

Jules burst through the door to the hospital room, nurses calling her, telling her that it's family only in there. The sight she saw would fuck Jules up for eternity. Rue's normally chocolate brown was as pale as a sheet. There were bags around her eyes, and she look exhausted. Her lips were chapped, and her beautiful chocolate brown locks were matted around her head. She had tubes in her nose. Jules never wanted to see her like this, yet here they are.

The nurse finally caught up to her and started to pull her out of the room, and Jules didn't struggle. She was in shock. Thank God for Leslie, who said she was a "cousin". The nurses gave her a funny look, but left her alone.

When Jules finally came too, she glanced over at Leslie. Leslie looked away, trying to hold back tears. Jules then looked to Gia, who shot daggers at her with her eyes. Jules finally made the connection.

"Holy shit, this is my fault." Jules whispered, the tear starting to roll down her cheeks.

"No baby, no." Leslie stood up and walked over to hug Jules. And when Jules started to sob.

For her mother who wasn't there when she needed her.

For her stupid and irrational decisions.

For poor Rue, who was suffering because of Jules.

Jules sunk to the floor, and she cried. She kept on crying, even when there were no tears left.

And Leslie and Jules stayed like that for hours, crying into each other.

Nobody noticed Gia, and nobody noticed Rue.

~Gia~

Gia was not happy when Jules burst through the room. I mean, what happened to family only? And what infuriated her even more was that her mom covered for her! Her mom saw the text, so why was she so sympathetic? But what made her rage the most was herself. Gia could not stop the feeling of betrayal, and in turn, that feeling kindled the spark of self hate.

If she had just paid attention.

If she had just walked in 5 minutes earlier.

In a way, she felt as if it was her fault this happened. And that maybe, just maybe, if she wasn't there, if she hadn't existed, maybe she wouldn't be as much as a problem. Maybe Rue wouldn't be in this state.

And it was then that Gia's depression started.

~Rue~

Pain.

Of course, she was welcomed back to this world with pain. But it wasn't just physical pain. She could hear it.

In her mother's sobs.

In Gia's sniffles.

In Jules's cr-

What the fuck was Jules doing here?

And upon that thought, Rue bolted up. And straight back down due to the exhaustion her body was going through. Gia and Jules rushed to her sides immediately, while her mom called in a nurse. But Rue wasn't totally back. You see, Rue was alive, yes. And that is what everyone wanted. Rue to be alive and ok.

But Rue didn't.

And with a silent tear rolling down her cheek, Rue uttered her first words back on Earth:

"Why am I still here?"

~Leslie~

As a mother, you are supposed to love your child, nurture it. Help it find it's place on Earth. So when Rue said those words, Leslie couldn't help but feel she failed as a mother.

"Why am I still here?" Rue gasped again. She sounded like a small child, asking why they couldn't have a cookie. Rue's machines started going crazy as she started gasping for air. Nurses rushed in with a ventilator, and Leslie rushed to Rue's side, whispering sweet nothings into Rue's ear. Rue seemed to calm down a bit, but she wouldn't make eye contact. She just stared at the other wall. And it terrified Leslie. And although she knew what Rue meant before, she was suddenly hit with a wave of realization:

This time, Rue wasn't abusing drugs. This wasn't a fucking accident.

Rue was trying to kill herself.

And then Lexi came crashing through the door.

~Lexi~

High, drunken Lexi was not a pretty sight. So when you add a traumatizing experience, say watching your friend slowly lose her life while desperately trying to be revived by paramedics, you get a fucked up Lexi. And a fucked up Lexi doesn't function like a normal Lexi, hell, not even a high Lexi. In fact, a fucked up Lexi doesn't function at all. So when Lexi saw Rue being lifted into the ambulance, Lexi just stood there, jaw glued to the ground.

Lexi kinda just froze.

And Lexi just stood there, staring at where the ambulance was long after it was gone, long after Leslie came home, too panicked to notice Lexi.

All that was going through Lexi's head was Rue's well-being.

And who the fuck she was going to kill for hurting her.

So at 5:23 in the morning, Lexi finally moved.

Lexi got in her car, and drove. And honestly, nobody knows how the fuck she didn't crash. Maybe it was the sheer will to get to her love.

Yeah, maybe it was that.

So when Lexi came crashing through the door, she went immediately to Rue. Lucky for both of them, she was able to stop herself from attaching her lips to Rue's, giving Jules a run for her money. She did, however, latch her arms around Rue, and just held her.

Held her so Rue wouldn't let go again.

And they stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until Cassie came to retrieve the intoxicated Lexi.

~Jules

Throughout the day, people filed in and out of the room. But not Jules. Makeup smudged and formal clothing crumpled, Jules stayed. And when they finally got a minute alone, Rue started to talk.

"Why did you leave me?" Rue said, her lip quivering and her voice cracking.

"Rue, I-" Jules started.

"You left me Jules. You said you loved me and you left me." Tears were coming down now.

"Rue, please-"

"I don't blame you"

"Rue, I- what?" Jules was sure she hadn't heard it right.

"I get it. You wanted to get away. From me. I'm a burden. I'm a fucking burden and I get it and I tried to get rid of myself for you and I-"

This time, Rue was cut when Jules leaned forward to passionately kiss her. That kiss, however, was short lived, for Rue pushed Jules off of her.

"Jules, I-I just can't. I can't fucking do this. I need to think" Rue whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh" was all Jules said.

"Can you please go?" Rue said, her voice cracking on go.

Jules sat there for a minute. On the one hand, she fucking deserved this. Like, c'mon Jules, you expect to leave her on a train platform and then come home to open arms? On the other hand, well, there was no other hand. Jules was kind of being a selfish bitch.

And so, Jules got up, and left Rue to her thoughts.

However, she did not go home. Instead, she sat in the waiting room, where she would sit until she knew Rue was ready for her.

~Maddy~

Maddy was just starting to get her life on track. Well, her social life at least. She had cut Nate off, and was ready to hang out with her girls. But when one of your girls overdoses because of another girl, well, people start taking sides. Lexi and Cassie were on Rue's side. After all, it was a pretty dick move for Jules to leave her. However, Kat and BB agreed that the action Rue took was a little drastic. Maddy didn't know where she stood.

Kat and BB had a good point. Rue's….decision was not really suited for the situation.

But, Maddy paid close enough attention to see that Rue was struggling with some sort of depression.

Also, it was a very dick move in Jules's part.

But this whole disaster was making the girls lash out at each other. And Maddy needed to make it right. Yes, some of it was out of her own selfishness, but most of it was her love for her clan.

So, Maddy got to work.

AN: Episode 2! I will be updating more regularly now, every Friday and Tuesday around 6 pm EST. And don't worry, you will be getting the Fezco you deserve in the next episode, along with a little Gia angst!