Chapter 4

Saturday October 20

3:00 PM

It's been a week since Raven and Malcolm broke up. Raven hasn't spoken much. She stays in her room except for school and some meals. The others have not brought up the incident but are worried about Raven. Logan and Vic are sitting on the couch watching TV. Kori is trying to bake a cake and Dick is helping her. Raven is in her room once again. Kori stops mixing the batter.

"I am worried about Raven," Kori says.

Vic turns to look at her. "We all are Kori. But she'll talk to us when she's ready."

Dick puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Yeah. We're her friends. She knows she can talk to us."

"Does she really?" Logan whispers. He stands up and the others look at him. "I'm going to go talk to her." He starts walking out of the room.

"Shouldn't we be giving her some space?" Vic asks.

"We've given her space. I'm gonna talk to her even if she doesn't listen," replies Logan. He then walks out of the living room to Raven's room.

Raven is lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling. She hears a soft knock at the door. She ignores it, but then hears Logan's voice.

"Raven? It's me. Look, I'm sorry," comes Logan's voice from the other side of the door. He sounds sad. Raven gets off her bed and walks toward the door but doesn't open it.

"For what?" Raven asks. "You're not the one who…"

"No. I'm sorry that he broke your heart."

"I know it was all a lie, but he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't creepy. And don't try to tell me I'm not."

"Okay, fine. You're way creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone Raven, but you're not." After Raven hears this, she opens her door, walks out and hugs Logan. Logan just stands there, shocked.

"Uhh…" he says. He puts his hands on her shoulders and gently tries to push her away, but she just holds him tighter, her head on his chest. A few moments later, he feels her shudder lightly and realizes she is crying. He puts his arms around her and just hugs her, letting her cry into his chest. Victor walks around the corner and sees Logan and Raven embraced in a hug. He turns around and walks back the way he came. After a few minutes Raven stops crying but stays where she is, finding comfort in the person holding her. She then realizes it is Logan and quickly releases him and steps back. He looks at her confused at why she suddenly stepped back.

"Sorry," Raven says wiping her eyes. "I didn't mean to do that."

"Do what? Hug me and cry or suddenly pull away?" Logan asks.

"Break down in front of you," she says not looking at him. "I don't normally do that."

"It's okay. Everyone does it at least once."

"I guess."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"You can talk to me Raven. You can talk to any of us. You know that right?"

"Sure I do."

"I don't believe you."

"What?"

"I don't think you know that you can talk to us. We're your friends Raven. We care about you and want to help."

"I know you're my friends and even though you are, I have a hard time trusting you. Trusting anyone actually."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please Raven. You can trust me. I promise and I don't break my promises."

Raven looks at him for a moment then nods once. "Not here."

"The roof?"

"No. Somewhere we won't be overheard."

Logan thinks for a moment then smiles. "I know a place. Come on." He holds out his hand for her to take. She doesn't take it but does go with him. They walk to the elevator to take them down to the garage. Logan stops it at the main floor. "I'm going to tell the others that we are going somewhere and will be back later. I won't tell them where we are going though." Raven nods and Logan goes to the living room to tell the others. A few minutes later, he is back and they continue down to the garage. Once there, Logan turns to Raven. "Can I drive your car?"

Raven looks hesitant. "I'd rather you not."

"How else will we get to this place?"

"I could drive."

"You don't know where we're going."

"You could tell me."

"I want it to be a surprise."

After a few moments, Raven sighs. "Fine." Logan smiles and grabs the keys. They get into Raven's car and Logan starts driving.

"Do you want to get some food to eat when we get there?"

"I don't have any money with me."

"Don't worry about it. I'll pay."

"You don't have to do that."

"It's not a big deal Raven."

Raven sighs. "Fine."

"Subway okay?"

"That's fine." Logan drives until they get to Subway. They go in and get their food. Logan pays for it and they get back in the car and continue driving. Forty minutes later, Logan parks in an empty parking lot by the beach. They get out of the car.

Raven looks at Logan. "This is the place you thought of?"

Logan smiles and shakes his head. "Nope. Follow me." He walks to the edge of the parking lot where there is a hill covered in trees. He walks between two closely packed trees. Raven follows him and sees that they are on a trail that goes up the hill. They walk for about ten minutes before Logan stops in front of several large rocks, seeming to be at a dead end. He looks back to make sure Raven is still behind him. She walks up next to him.

"Can you climb rocks?" he asks her.

She raises her eyebrows at him. "What?"

"To get to this place, we have to climb over these rocks. Can you do that or do I need to carry you over?"

She looks at the rocks. "I can do it myself."

"Okay. Follow me." He starts climbing and reaches the top quickly. He sits on top and looks down at Raven. When she is close to the top, he holds out his hand for her. She takes it and he helps her to sit on top of the rocks. Logan turns and jumps down to the other side which is only about a four foot drop. (AN. One side of the rocks is only a four foot drop while the other side is an eight foot drop.) Raven jumps down next to him. When she straightens up, she looks around the area. They are on one side of the hill near the top in a grass clearing in the woods with a ten foot radius. It is surrounded on two sides by closely packed trees and the rocks between the two sides. The side opposite the rocks is open, overlooking the ocean and facing the west so the sunset can be seen in the evenings.

"Is this place okay for talking?"

Raven turns around to Logan, amazed. "It's great. How did you find it?"

Logan shrugs. "I was just walking one day and found it."

"When was this?"

"Before I met you guys."

"How many other people know about this place?"

"No one as far as I know. I've never seen anyone else up here or even find the trail."

"Do you come here often?"

Logan looks out toward the ocean. "Not as much as I used to."

"Why not?" Logan just shrugs. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Logan looks back at her and smiles. "Do you want to talk about Malcolm and why you don't trust us?"

"No."

"Wanna eat?" Logan holds up the bag with their sandwiches in it.

"Sure." They sit on the ground facing the ocean and eat their subs. They eat in silence. After they finish eating, Logan glances at Raven then back out to the water.

"How about we make a deal?" Raven looks at him with her eyebrow raised. He turns to face her. "I will tell you about my past if you tell me about yours." Raven thinks about this. He never talks about his past. She thinks. I could finally find out why.

Raven nods. "Okay. But you go first."

"Do you promise to talk after I do?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Logan sits facing the ocean with his knees bent up and his arms lightly resting on them. He takes a deep breath. "I was born in the States. My dad was a geneticist while my mom was a zoologist. When I was about three years old, my parents and I moved to Africa. We went there so my parents could study the animals there. We came back to the States when I was ten. One night, we had gone out to eat to celebrate an award that my parents had just received. We were driving home when I kept insisting to go to the video game store so I could get a new game. My parents didn't want to but I wouldn't stop asking so we started going there when a car crashed into ours." He clenches his hands into fists. Raven sees tears form in his eyes. "The car hit us head on. I was in the back seat sitting behind my mom. I remember her seat being pushed back against me. Not too hard but enough that I couldn't get out. I was cut in a few places from the shattered windshield. I remember my leg hurting so I tried to tell my mom. I shook her shoulder to get her attention when she didn't respond to me talking to her. Her eyes were closed and she had a lot of blood on her. I figured she was just knocked unconscious. I looked toward my dad and saw that he too looked knocked out. There was a large piece of metal in his leg. There was so much blood."

Logan drops his head into his hands and tears are running down his face. After a few moments, he lifts his head and stares out at the water. "The paramedics got us out of the car. I saw my parents not moving and covered in blood. I tried to get to them but the paramedics put me in an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital. The next day, I was in the hospital recovering. I had a broken leg. I asked a nurse where my parents were. She just looked at me sadly and walked out. I got the same reaction from three other nurses. I was upset that no one would tell me where my parents were. Finally a doctor came in and I asked him about my parents. He looked at me sadly and told me that my parents were dead. They died on impact. I remember I was mad and sad at the same time. My parents were dead but I didn't want to believe it. My parents were dead and it was my fault. It was all my fault. They are dead because of me." He drops his head and cries harder. Raven puts her hands on his shoulders and partially hugs him.

"It's not your fault Logan," Raven says while rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"Yes it is. If I hadn't wanted to go to that stupid video game store, they would still be here. It's because of me that they are dead."

"Don't blame yourself. You weren't the one driving the other car. It's not your fault." She keeps trying to comfort him. After another five minutes, he stops crying. He looks up at her.

"I later found out that the guy who hit us was drunk and only suffered a few broken ribs. He went to jail for five years then was released. He killed my parents and was only in jail for five years."

"He should've been in longer." Raven stops rubbing his back but leaves her hand on his right shoulder with her other one around his left bicep.

"Yeah, he should've." They sit in silence for a little bit. Raven stops touching Logan and moves a few inches away.

"So what happened after that?" she asks.

"I was put into a foster home. I hated it there but stayed because I had a broken leg. After I had healed, I was moved to a different foster home. I would get into fights a lot and kept moving to different homes. Eventually I just ran away. My last foster home was in Jump City so I just stayed here. I lived on the streets, stole food when I couldn't find any. Slept wherever I could, bathed in the ocean or when I could find an empty locker room somewhere. It wasn't the easiest life. I got beat up several times and close to being arrested. I found this place during that time. I would always come here when I needed to think about things and still do, just not as much. I was found and put into another foster home and started school again. It was my freshman year of high school. That's when I met Dick who was also a new student that year like me. I tried out for the soccer team and met Vic when he was trying to become an assistant coach for football. Then I met you and Kori and you know the rest. We all became friends and now live together."

Raven just looks at him for a little bit then speaks. "So why don't you come here as much?"

Logan shrugs. "I guess I don't have as much to think about. And I have other places around the Tower that I go when I need to think and here is too far to go to."

"So I guess that's why you never talk about your parents or your past."

"Yeah."

"I would never have guessed that your past was like that."

"Why not?"

"You just seem so happy and carefree all the time."

Logan smiles sadly. "Guess I'm good at pretending." Raven nods. "Your turn to talk."

Raven looks out to the ocean. "I did make a deal with you." She takes a deep breath. "My parents didn't marry for love. My father was about 25 and my mother was 19. My father raped my mother and got her pregnant. My father's parents made him marry my mother because he had gotten her pregnant. They didn't really get along. After I was born, my father left us. My mother raised me on her own. When I was seven years old, my father came back. He said he wanted to be a family again and I trusted him. I thought everything would be great because we could finally be a family; I was wrong. He would get drunk a lot and would get very angry especially when he was drunk. He used to beat my mother. When I was eleven, my mother left but never told anyone that my father beat her. After my mother left, I basically took her place as his punching bag. I would stay away from my house as much as I could to avoid the inevitable. He beat me almost every day. I wanted to die so much. I thought about killing myself but never went through with attempting it. I was too scared. Freshman year he kicked me out. I took all of my things and lived in an abandoned warehouse. I only lived there for about a week before I met you and the others. You know the rest."

"Until Malcolm."

Raven nods. "Until Malcolm. I thought he was great. He listened to me, he understood me. He was mature. He was attractive. I really liked him and trusted him so much. I even got tickets for us to go to the school Halloween dance. Then last Friday happened and we broke up." She doesn't say anything after that. A single tear runs down her cheek.

"Raven?" She turns her face toward him. "Did he rape you?"

She looks shocked that he knew and nods. "How did you know?"

"When Malcolm left, you weren't with him like you usually were. I asked him about it and he said you weren't feeling well. After he left, I went to your room to check on you. Your door was open, which never happens, so I went in and saw you on your bed. I heard you sob once when you spoke and you flinched when I touched your shoulder. When I looked at you, I saw fear in your eyes. I saw that your wrist was bruised and you begged me to leave. I noticed your clothes on the floor and saw that they were torn or cut with a knife. I put all those pieces together and guessed that he raped you."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I was afraid you would yell at me for going through your stuff. We also wanted to give you some space."

"We?"

"Yeah. Vic, Kori, and Dick. And I think Vic told Bee. I'm sorry for telling them what I saw and what I assumed, but I had to tell someone. I told them all to act as if nothing had happened because as far as you knew, I was the only one who knew about you being scared. I also told them to not tell anyone else."

"So they all know what Malcolm did to me?"

"Yeah. No specifics because I don't even know that. Please don't hate me for telling them."

Raven sighs. "They would've found out eventually. And what specifics exactly?"

"Like how your wrists got bruised. It didn't look like someone holding you."

She looks out at the ocean. "He gagged me with a pair of socks so I couldn't yell for help. He used his belt to tie my hands to the headboard. Then he pulled out a pocket knife and cut off my shirt and bra. He took off my other clothes and touched me then raped me and broke up with me."

"That bastard."

"Yeah, and to think I trusted him. I just hope it doesn't get out to the entire school."

"Since when do you care what people think?"

"I always do but act like I don't. Besides, that's very personal."

"I'm sorry for what he did."

"It's done and can't be changed. It wasn't your fault so don't be sorry."

"I never knew your past was bad either."

"Can't change it."

"So why don't you trust me or the others? We're your friends."

"I trusted my father when he came back and he hurt me. I trusted my mother and she left me. I trusted Malcolm and he…did that. Everyone I trust ends up betraying me somehow. I don't want that to happen anymore so I just don't trust people."

"Look at me." Raven turns to Logan. He puts his hands on her shoulders and looks her into her eyes. "I will never betray you. Nor will the others. We are your friends. True friends don't hurt their friends. You can trust us. At least trust me. Please."

Raven hesitates a little then whispers, "I trust you." Logan smiles and hugs her, quickly releasing her because she doesn't like hugs.

"So no secrets between us? We talk to each other more?"

"I think I would like that." Raven smiles slightly.

Logan smiles big. "Me too." He looks out toward the ocean at the sunset. Raven follows suit. "Amazing isn't it?"

"It's beautiful." After the sun goes down, Logan lays on his back looking up at the sky. Raven lays next to him. After a few minutes of silence, Logan speaks up.

"So what are you going to do with those tickets for the dance you have?"

"Probably throw them away."

"You won't still go?"

"No. I was planning on going with Malcolm but not anymore."

"We could go together."

She turns her head toward him. "What?"

"As friends. You need someone to go with and I'm not going with anyone so we could go together. Going by yourself sucks anyway."

"Which is why I was going to get rid of the tickets."

"But you already paid for them. I would hate for you to waste money like that." Raven thinks for a little bit.

"I guess we could go together. As friends."

"Yep. Just two friends who don't have dates. Unless you want it to be a date."

"Don't ruin the moment."

"Sorry." They lay there for another hour then go back to the Tower. The others are happy that Raven is back to her normal self. They all watch a movie then go to bed. Raven and Logan walk to their rooms. They stop outside Raven's room. Raven turns to Logan.

"Thank you for today," Raven says.

Logan smiles. "Anytime. I'm glad that you talked to me."

"I'm glad you talked to me, too."

Logan holds his arms out. "Do I get a hug then?"

"Fine." Raven hugs Logan.

Logan whispers in her ear, "Niste sami, Raven." He then releases her from the hug. She looks at him confused, not understanding what he said.

"What does that mean?" she asks.

Logan just smiles at her. "Night Rae." He then walks to her room. Raven stands outside her room looking at Logan confusedly. After he disappears from sight, she goes into her room wondering what he said to her. She didn't even know what language he was speaking in or that he even knew another language. She tries looking it up online but doesn't know the spelling of what Logan said. She shuts down her computer then goes to bed, planning on asking him what it meant.