*Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it. I simply borrow them for my own musings and fantasies and do not get paid for their use in said musings or fantasies. –Nira

Chapter 17

"I see…" came the Third Hokage's gruff voice, having just heard Kakashi's extensive report on Yuriko after the other two members of Team Ro had been dismissed from their mission debrief. He sighed out the smoke from the drag he'd pulled from his pipe and sat in his chair, contemplative. "I wondered if it might be too much for her from the beginning. I never suspected it would be to this magnitude… And you, Kakashi… Are you sure?"

"I am, Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied in all sincerity.

The elder man was silent for a moment, considering his options. He took another deep drag from his pipe and nodded, having come to a decision. "Understood. You are dismissed."

Kakashi bowed before taking his leave, his ANBU mask securely on the Hokage's desk behind him and a different path before him.

When Yuriko got home from the mission brief, she looked around her apartment with a blank stare. Dust had gathered on all of the surfaces and the air had grown stuffy. It was hardly welcoming like she'd hoped it would be, and it only made her emptiness that much more tangible. She pressed her back against her door and slid to the floor, her knees to her chest and the ANBU mask in her hands. She traced the swirls painted on it and when she looked into the slanted eyes, they stared back at her, hollow and lifeless. On the two missions that she'd had as an ANBU, she'd been ordered to do some unspeakable acts. She hadn't expected it to be so emotionally taxing or morally questionable when she'd first volunteered her services, but now she realized that she was quickly coming to regret her decision.

"What have I gotten myself into?" she asked aloud with a sigh.

After a moment, Yuriko peeled herself from the floor and shuffled to her room, throwing the mask on her bed and rifling through her closet for something comfortable to wear. Realizing that she only really had dresses, skirts, and cute outfits for civilian clothes, she decided that her training outfit would have to do until she got something else. She remained in the shower until the hot water ran out and when she'd gotten dressed, she took one more look around her dismal little apartment before leaving again.

She slowly made her way to the cemetery and sat in front of the memorial, reading the names carved in the stone one by one, rolling them around in her head. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there, but the sun had begun to set, casting shadows and making it harder to read the names, but still she sat. After some time, the sound of robes rustling and dragging across the grass caught Yuriko's attention, but she remained where she was.

"It's getting late, Yuriko-san," Sandaime stated, examining the young kunoichi who buried her chin further into her arms crossed over her knees. "What brings you here?"

"Hokage-sama… I don't think I can do this anymore…" she admitted.

"The duties of an ANBU are indeed taxing. It's understandable that you would have second thoughts. That's why I have a proposal for you."

Yuriko looked up at the elder man for the first time since he'd arrived, her interest piqued.

"Rumor has it that you'd make an excellent teacher. Have you ever considered it?"

"Who told you that?" she scoffed, not believing him.

The old man chuckled, pulling from his pipe. "Just think about it and let me know what you decide."

With that, Sandaime walked away, leaving Yuriko to her thoughts and the silence once more. As the world grew darker and darker, the temperature dropped significantly and still she sat, staring at the now illegible names on the stone, her arms wrapped around her knees. As she was beginning to doze off, Yuriko heard another set of footsteps approach her, barely audible, but she looked to acknowledge them. She was surprised to see Iruka with his hands behind his back and a nervous, sheepishness about him.

"I heard that you were back and wanted to see you…" he stated, a slight blush across his cheeks and a smile on his face.

"How did you know I was here?"

"I ran into Sandaime-sama and he told me… He said that he thinks you've been here all day, so I thought I'd bring something to eat and sit with you, if you don't mind."

Yuriko smiled and patted a spot in the grass next to her and Iruka's smile seemed to brighten the darkness around them. As he sat, he placed a package on the ground in front of them and began unwrapping its contents while Yuriko watched in curiosity, moving to a cross-legged position. He pulled out two large bowls and two pairs of chopsticks and handed one of each to Yuriko. The bowl was hot and warmed Yuriko's hands, amplifying the cold around her, but she smiled, welcoming the heat.

"Naruto told me the other day that the two of you go out for ramen when you don't cook at home, so I thought you might want some when you came back from your mission," Iruka explained as she removed the lid and found her favorite pork ramen with extra vegetables from Ichiraku. "Welcome home, Yuriko-san."

Tears bubbled up to Yuriko's lavender eyes. It had been ages since someone had welcomed her home and it sounded so natural coming from him. She set the bowl on the ground in front of her, pulled her chopsticks apart, pooled her mask around her neck and leaned against Iruka's shoulder as she said a silent prayer before slowly eating her food. He smelled like freshly laundered clothes with a very slight muskiness. It was welcoming and calmed her. Iruka's smile was warm and understanding. She didn't need to say anything. He knew as soon as she leaned against him what she meant: "I'm home," and "thank you."

The two sat in silence, eating their ramen and Iruka made it a point not to stare or chance a glance at the face he had yet to see unmasked. When they'd finished, Iruka gathered the trash, putting it away neatly into the cloth package he'd brought it all in. He expected Yuriko to pull her mask back up once she'd finished eating, but when she didn't, he wondered why.

"Yuriko-san?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you wear a mask? I've never seen you without one."

"I wear a mask to hide in plain sight," she said after a short moment.

"What are you hiding from?"

"There's so much pain… so much suffering and cruelty in this world. Most of it stems from people, I've learned… so I hide from them. If I'm not seen, not noticed, just another body occupying space, there are fewer chances for me to be hurt."

"Don't you get lonely living like that? Afraid of everyone around you for what they might or could do to hurt you?"

"More than you could ever know... but every once in a long, long while there's someone who makes it difficult to hide. They see me regardless of whatever mask I'm wearing at the time."

"I see you," Iruka blushed, slightly leaning into her more, his eyes never leaving the memorial stone.

"I know," she smiled, wrapping her arm around his.

Iruka's heart fluttered at her touch and he couldn't help the smile that graced his lips or the warmth that caused his cheeks to flush. He gently placed his hand atop hers and the two sat in comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other's company.

Kakashi had intended to inform Yuriko of his decision shortly after leaving the Hokage's office, but when he'd gotten home and knocked on her door, there was no answer and the house was dark and empty. He wasn't sure why, but she was the first person that he wanted to tell, so he decided to wait for her return. He showered and lounged around his house, keeping alert to the sounds around him, listening for any sign of her return, but when the day turned to night and there was still no sign of his neighbor, he began to worry. She was always home by dark, or shortly after, and when she couldn't sleep, she left again, but she was always home first.

He tried to brush it off as none of his business, especially since he was no longer under orders to track her, but not even an hour later, the uneasiness of her absence gnawed at him enough that he decided to look for her. He wasn't in any particular rush so he meandered through the village, passively observing the late-night out-goers, not expecting Yuriko to be among them due to her discomfort around people. He went to the Hokage monument first, thinking back to before the mission and he'd followed her there, and the strange conversation they'd had about his former relationship that left him with more questions than ever, but she wasn't there. The farmers' market was closed, so she wouldn't be walking around there, he thought, and the only other place he could think to find her was the cemetery, so he went there next.

When he'd gotten to the cemetery, he saw Yuriko sitting with her knees to her chest in front of the Kyuubi-memorial but before he could approach her, he saw Iruka from the corner of his eye and was taken aback. He was holding something in his hand and watched Yuriko for a moment, then took a deep, steadying breath and made his way over to her, the same boyishly nervous smile that he'd had for her before on his face. The uneasiness that Kakashi couldn't place returned to the pit of his stomach making his insides flip and churn, but he found a vantage point to continue his observations, hoping that maybe he could get answers this time. As Iruka advanced, Yuriko looked up, acknowledging his presence, the expression on her face contemplative yet vacant as if she wasn't really there mentally.

"I heard that you were back and wanted to see you…" Iruka admitted.

"How did you know I was here?" Yuriko inquired, slowly returning to herself.

"I ran into Sandaime-sama and he told me… He said that he thinks you've been here all day, so I thought I'd bring something to eat and sit with you, if you don't mind."

Kakashi furrowed his brow. Had she really been sitting there all day? What brought her there to begin with? And where had her mind gone while she sat, staring at the memorial stone even after the names were no longer legible in the dark? When Yuriko smiled and patted a spot in the grass next to her, Iruka's smile was big, bright, and hopeful and it made Kakashi's stomach lurch again.

"Naruto told me the other day that the two of you go out for ramen when you don't cook at home, so I thought you might want some when you came back from your mission… Welcome home, Yuriko-san."

When Kakashi saw her expression- one of a mixture of both sadness and joy, he was suddenly ashamed of himself. Why hadn't he thought to say those words to her? She hadn't had a place to call home for so long, and he knew that, but why had it never occurred to him that that simple phrase would or could mean so much to her, as seemingly insignificant as it was for him? There were so many opportunities that he could have, but he'd been oblivious and just let them pass by. When was the last time she'd experienced true kindness from someone like the kindness that Iruka so freely gave? How could he have been so blind to the obvious signs that she was lonely and trying to make friends with everything she had in her despite everything? She hadn't gone into detail, but she'd even mentioned it when they'd had their "opening up" conversation a while back. How could he have missed it?

Yuriko didn't say anything in response, but she leaned against his arm- the most affectionate act Kakashi had ever seen her show anyone aside from Naruto- and even from a distance, Kakashi knew in that simple gesture what she meant. He knew her gratitude and the internalization that Konoha was her home because someone had reaffirmed it for her. He knew, and it ate at him.

Feeling like an intruder witnessing such a tender moment, Kakashi took his leave and returned home, dejected and deflated. He now understood what the gnawing feeling in his stomach was.

It should have been him.