*Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it. I simply borrow them for my own musings and fantasies and do not get paid for their use in said musings or fantasies. –Nira

Chapter 35

"Yuriko-san, why have you been following me?" Iruka inquired. "Haven't you been actively avoiding me for the last two weeks?"

Iruka had cornered her in the bookstore after noticing that she'd been trailing him. She'd been following him around like a puppy all day, mentally debating with herself, repeating "I have to tell him. He deserves to know," and then hiding again when he turned in her direction, all the resolve she'd gathered vanishing in a flash of his warm, chocolate eyes as he faced her.

"I was trying to gain the courage to approach you if you want an honest answer," she replied, her fingers wrapping themselves up in the ends of her hair.

"Why would you need courage to approach me?" he asked, his eyebrows quirking to express his confusion.

"To face my fears," she answered, a blush rising to her face as she averted her eyes and buried her face deeper into her scarf.

"What kind of fears would you want to confront by following me around the village?"

Yuriko remained silent, her eyes darting between him and her fingers, and back. Without allowing herself to back out and run away again, she gently reached up, holding his cheeks in her hands and pressed her lips to his. Iruka's eyes widened in complete shock, his heart raced, and his face burned bright red. Almost as quickly as she'd kissed him, she used a substitution to escape, leaving him in stunned disbelief. She'd been avoiding him like the plague for weeks, and now she'd spent an entire day following him around just to kiss him and run? No. He wouldn't let her get away. He couldn't. He had too many questions to ask and too many emotions and thoughts running through his head. He paused, thinking about where she might have run off to and when the only logical place came to mind, he took off. It wasn't long before he'd arrived and sighed in relief seeing her sitting in front of the memorial stone with her knees pulled to her chest. As he approached, Yuriko turned her head to acknowledge his presence with a slight smile and moved to a cross-legged position.

"I knew I'd find you here," he grinned, taking a seat beside her.

"And I knew you'd know where to find me."

It was silent for a moment as Iruka looked between the stone and Yuriko, unsure of what to say now that he had found her. When it dawned on him, a blush dusted his cheeks.

"Was that why you needed courage to approach me earlier? To kiss me?" he asked and Yuriko's lips turned up into a smile.

"It was silly, I know. It was just as much a shock to me as I'm sure it was for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he cooed, his expression serious and eyes never leaving her.

It was silent again until his voice crooned her name and she turned to look at him. His hand was soft and warm against her cheek and he pressed his lips to hers, firm, but restrained and uncertain. When she sighed and melted into it, snaking her fingers into his hair and her arm around his neck pulling him closer, his lips moved against hers with more confidence, a soft moan escaping his throat.

Her lips were full and pillowy, softer than silk against his and the heat emanating from her was welcoming. He felt like he was in a dream. The question of what her lips would feel like had crossed his mind many times, but feeling them, in reality, was better than he'd ever thought possible, especially since she didn't fight or pull away- she pulled him closer to her and returned the kiss. His lips moved in tandem with hers until he felt her tongue hesitantly reaching out to lick his lower lip, asking for permission to venture further, and Iruka's breath hitched and lips parted to allow her entrance, his arm wrapping around her ribcage and fingers grabbing hold of the fabric of her dress, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

Yuriko's body began to shake as she felt something in her lower stomach tightening and blood rushing to her head making her feel dizzy. When she felt as though she might pass out, she gently pushed him away, her breath unsteady and eyes still closed, savoring the lingering feeling and taste of Iruka's lips on hers. Slowly her eyes fluttered open to see Iruka gazing at her with that hungry, adoring look that she'd seen so many times before and a smile pulled the corners of her lips up.

"I've wanted to do that for so long," he breathed, his eyes warm and sultry. "I never thought that I would be able to… I thought it was only ever going to happen in my dreams, so thank you."

Yuriko let out a strangled chuckle as tears bubbled up in her eyes. "Forgive me, Iruka-san. I had to know something for sure. Meet me tonight at the Hokage monument when the moon is at its highest. There's something I have to tell you."

With a splash of water, she was gone leaving Iruka to look around in confusion wondering where she'd gone to this time. It took him a moment, but he realized that she'd brought him to the place where their strange relationship had begun with her telling him about everything and everyone she'd lost. A sad smile creased his cheeks and he turned his face to gaze up into the sky with a sigh.

"So it was a clone all along... Just what are you up to, Yuriko?"

Night had rolled in and Yuriko took a deep breath, steadying herself. The air was cool but there wasn't a single cloud in the sky to block the stars or moon, and the village had settled down for the evening. Yuriko awaited her guests from a nearby tree, her chakra muted to hide her presence. She didn't want to show herself right away, wondering how they would react to each other. It wasn't long before Iruka arrived and much to Yuriko's surprise, Kakashi was quick to follow.

"Good evening. You must be Kakashi-sensei," Iruka greeted, his tone polite but lacking its usual warmth.

"Oh, Iruka-sensei, isn't it?" Kakashi retorted, his tone of voice indifferent. "Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto all speak very highly of you."

"And you, as well… I mean, at least Naruto does. I don't speak to the others very much nowadays."

"So, Iruka-sensei, what brings you here this evening?" Kakashi asked, but Yuriko knew that he knew. "It's a bit out of the way of the village and pretty late on a school night."

"I was asked by a friend to meet her here…" Iruka stated, just as guarded. "You must have your own reason for being here at this time of night, Kakashi-sensei. You must have a mission to attend with your squad tomorrow, no?"

"I'm here to meet a friend as well…"

"I see…"

A gust of wind blew, cool and biting just like the atmosphere between the two men as they stared at each other challengingly. As soon as it stilled again, Kakashi spoke up, calling Yuriko out.

"I know you're here, Yuriko-san… What is the meaning of this?" he demanded, his gaze steely and indifferent but never leaving Iruka.

When Yuriko came out from her hiding place she was fidgeting with the ends of her hair. She had put it up into a partial updo with half of it tied into a neat, round bun atop her head with the decorative comb that Iruka had given her stuck into it while the rest hung loose in the back, and the fan that Kakashi had gifted her was tied securely to her hip by the cream-colored sash around the waist of her plum sundress. She'd opted to leave her mask and scarf at home. She didn't want to hide anymore. She had to tell them everything. She had to take that final plunge into the abyss. They deserved to know the truth behind the mask.

"What's going on?" Iruka asked, his voice soft and barely concealing his hurt.

"You both deserve to know the truth… the whole truth…" she muttered. "No more lies, no more secrets, no more running away, no more hiding. Just… me."

"So it's true…" Kakashi sighed.

"I had my suspicions…" Iruka added. "I just hoped… I really hoped that I was wrong…"

"You brought me here to tell me that you've chosen him over me," they finished in unison. Both of their eyes widened and they looked at each other in shocked disbelief.

"You thought… she chose me?" they asked in tandem again, each pointing at themselves.

Yuriko let out a laugh at how baffled they both sounded, drawing their attention back to her but she cleared her throat, putting on a serious face when their gazes were somewhere between offended and confused. "Sorry. I shouldn't laugh. You're both wrong… and you're also both right."

"What are you talking about? How can we be both right and wrong at the same time?" Iruka questioned. "It doesn't make sense."

"I know… none of it makes sense, but that doesn't make it any less true. I've agonized about this for the last two weeks, trying to figure out why and how it's turned out this way," she admitted.

"Turned out what way?" Kakashi demanded. Of all of the times for her to be roundabout, he was hoping that this wouldn't be one of them. He was quickly disappointed.

"Iruka-san, do you remember the conversation we had when I'd returned with Team Seven after the mission to the Land of Waves? When I asked why you looked at me like I was the sun?"

Kakashi felt his chest tighten. How could that be? Had Iruka really said that about her? Was that really how he felt? But if Iruka had said that about her, Yuriko's wording of the question she'd just asked would have been different. She probably would have asked something along the lines of "Do you remember explaining how I am like the sun to you?" but that wasn't what she'd asked.

"Yeah, but why-?" Iruka asked, growing increasingly more uncomfortable with the entire situation and reason behind him being there.

"'It's like my existence- my presence- is a light in the darkness, the long-awaited reprieve from a long night of cold and dark and lonely. Your mood lifts when you see or spend time with me, and you sometimes go out of your way just to be near me, almost like you need me around or else you'd forever be trapped in the dark.' That's how I described it, right?"

That's how she had described it, not Iruka, confirming Kakashi's earlier thought that she would have worded her question differently. She'd chosen her words very carefully. If she had described someone else's feelings in that explanation, whose feelings for who was she talking about?

"Yeah, but what-?"

"I wasn't describing your feelings for me." Her smile was pained as if her own words were poison. "How could I? You didn't confess them until after I'd said it. I was describing my feelings."

That answered one of Kakashi's questions, but he was still lost as to who she was describing those feelings about. Meanwhile, Iruka went silent. He had wondered about that, but she still wasn't explaining herself in saying any of it. She then turned to Kakashi, leaving the explanation hanging in the air for each of the men to ruminate over. Kakashi's body tensed and heart thudded against his ribs under her gaze. It was his turn, apparently for whatever she had to say this time.

"And you, Kakashi-senpai. When you told me about the woman who had caught your attention you described her as the sun. You said, 'it's like she's the warmth after a cold rain. Being with her is like seeing the sun after an exceptionally long and cold night. It's refreshing and gives me hope. No matter what, the sun is always there, even if it's covered by clouds. The clouds and the night… they can't last forever. The sun will always show up right when it needs to, and I always look forward to seeing it.' You'd described the very same thing that I had when I'd talked with Iruka-san.

"When I asked you to describe your feelings for her, it was to give me a reference for my emotions- feelings that I was having difficulty accepting and putting into words. When you said it, I knew exactly what you meant because that was how I felt. I knew what you were saying… but it was about her, not me, and I… I was jealous, honestly." She scoffed and had a sad smile across her face as she met his gaze. "I hated her because she didn't know how lucky she was to have someone care for her that deeply, but I also thought that she was a fool for being interested in someone else. She didn't know how much pain she was causing you in not returning your feelings- pain that I couldn't stop or prevent even though I so badly wanted to, but it wasn't my place because you cared for her, not me."

"But I told you that I'd been talking about you!" Kakashi barked, frustrated and confused. "I told you and you still begged me to let you go so you could figure things out on your own."

"Why would you still be jealous and walk away if he told you that it had all been about you and you'd been describing your feelings for him when you talked with me about the sun?" Iruka inquired, completely lost and growing increasingly more frustrated, and it all clicked for Kakashi then.

"I hadn't told her beforehand because I worried that my confession would ruin whatever relationship she had with the other man. The other man was you, Iruka-san. The feelings she had described were about you, too," Kakashi concluded. "She'd described her feelings for me to you and when I described my feelings for a hypothetical other woman who was interested in someone else, namely you, she realized that she was caught in a complicated emotional state of caring for two people very deeply and them both confessing to caring deeply for her."

Tears had begun to roll down Yuriko's face by this point, though a timid, quivering smile remained on her lips. "Exactly. So… now you see my dilemma- the catch twenty-two that I've found myself caught in the middle of. I've debated, reasoned, rationalized and contemplated what to do and how to tell you over and over and over again and this was all I could think of. I couldn't just keep running away from it, and it wasn't fair to either of you not to know the truth."

Both Kakashi and Iruka deflated in exasperated defeat, their expressions falling with a heavy sigh. They were back where they started, unsure of where to go or what to do with their relationships with Yuriko. The silence stretched on as everyone was lost to their thoughts. She had finally given in to her emotions, embracing them. She was in love. She never thought she'd be able to love or be loved. She was too damaged to be capable of it, she thought, and yet, here she was. She'd fallen madly in love with both of them and trusted them with everything. She didn't know when or how, but she couldn't deny it any longer. She loved them both, and they both loved her, she hoped… but how could they make that love work? Was it even possible?

"I'm sorry…" Yuriko mumbled, her head bowed and cheeks crimson, drawing the gazes of exhausted eyes to her once more. "I… I never knew that love could hurt this much…" When she felt the tension in the air thicken, she knew they'd heard her.

"Sorry?" Kakashi asked, unsure if he'd heard her correctly and Iruka remained silent, his cheeks pinkening, eyes wide, and mouth agape.

A moment passed as Yuriko bolstered her courage to say it again. She'd never said those words to anyone before in a romantic sense, so the phrase felt foreign on her tongue, especially since she honestly meant it for both of them. "I love you… I don't know how I can feel joy and comfort and affection and nervousness and so many other emotions all at once for both of you equally, but I do. I'm hopelessly in love with you and completely clueless about what to do about it without hurting one or both of you."

Both Kakashi and Iruka softened. Neither of them could think of a time when she'd freely admitted her feelings to them without their prodding, but her guarded walls had been completely demolished as soon as she'd stepped out from her hiding spot behind the tree that evening without her mask. Now she was on a roll and couldn't stop, so all they could do was sit back and listen.

"I've never felt so vulnerable and yet perfectly safe around anyone like I do with each of you in different ways. Both of you share parts of both the light and the dark with me- different, but similar and entirely intertwined. I can't appreciate one without the other. To choose only one of you feels like a forced distinction and neither way feels quite right. It's selfish of me to want to have you both. I know that, but I can't help it. It hurts to imagine my life without either of you…" she paused, actually thinking about what it would be like, and as she thought, a sad, lonely smile crept across her face. "I-... I couldn't handle it… so, please… I know it's a lot to ask for, and I'm so sorry, but please... please don't make me choose. I just can't."

Kakashi and Iruka exchanged an uneasy look. If they forced her to choose one or the other, whoever she chose would be left with a shell of the Yuriko that they'd fallen in love with while the other was left with absolutely nothing of her and a gaping hole in their heart from unrequited love. It was a lose-lose situation regardless of who was chosen, and they decided that it was unacceptable. When they looked back at Yuriko in her insecurity, they both softened and without even needing to speak, each man had made a decision. There was no better solution. Both made their way over to Yuriko, each placing a reassuring hand on her and pressing their lips to their respective side of her head.

"I'm sorry… I never meant to make you cry. You've done more than enough of that already," Kakashi stated, lifting her chin to make her look at him so he could wipe her tears away. "I had my suspicions and theories, and it had crossed my mind that you might care for us both. I was too stubborn to admit to myself that I cared for you and even more so for not just asking you how you felt. Had I known sooner, I wonder if I could have saved you some tears and sleepless nights."

"It never crossed my mind that you could love us both. I've always thought and seen that love is only between two people, but it all makes so much more sense now that I see how small-minded that kind of thinking is. It'll take a bit of getting used to and some serious soul-searching, but I think this could work. You deserve to be happy, just like anyone else," Iruka smiled as he adjusted the comb to fit more snugly into her hair, happy to see that she was wearing it.

"What are you saying?" Yuriko demanded, her heart aflutter as she ducked away from their fretting over her and took a few steps away to face them, gazing between the two men who had broken down every wall that she'd built and rebuilt over a lifetime of pain and overcome every hurdle that she'd thrown at them just to be near her. "Don't say it unless you mean it. I've heard too many lies. I'll never forgive you if you say it and it all turns out to be another one."

Without hesitation, the men spoke in unison, each of their expressions honest and genuine; "I love you, Yuriko."

"If having us both is what keeps that smile on your face, then so be it," Iruka smiled.

"We are yours, and you, ours," Kakashi crooned.

Yuriko was overcome with emotion as joyful tears cascaded down her face and a grand smile split her face practically in two. They weren't making her choose. Despite everything she'd been through—all of the hurt and betrayal from others who had falsely claimed to love her—she believed them both with everything in her and she knew that it would destroy her this time if they were lying. But she had trusted them this much already, and now she was trusting them again. She had hope, and for now, that was enough.

Author's Note:

Hey, everybody! I bet you weren't exactly expecting that, were you? If I'm being honest, I didn't REALLY know what I was doing or where I was going with the relationships in this story, either, until… I don't know… maybe chapter 17? I have been dropping hints since then, though, so maybe you figured it out. If you picked up on it and agree with the way it turned out, I like you. You think outside of the box. Shoot me a pm and we can talk about fun, unorthodox things. ^_^

Anyway, I'm still not entirely sure what the point of my writing this is. At this point, I think I might just be writing for fun. I honestly don't intend to continue writing Yuriko into the Naruto world and storyline because, well… it took over 15 years to be completed and now there's even more with Boruto. That's a lot of material to cover and I don't want to do that. I just don't know how to end this because the conflict of the story has now been resolved but I want to delve into their consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship dynamics. Polyamory and CNM relationships are a growing topic of interest within American culture and I think the benefits and positives of such relationships should be explored more in media to contrast with the negative stigma that has been placed upon them legally and religiously. And, really, I just think it's a fun and interesting topic and I'm loving this throuple so I'm going to write about them anyway.

If you're enjoying it and keep reading, thanks for sticking with me! There is a lot of sexiness planned for future chapters. I hope my writing continues to keep you entertained and doesn't disappoint. If you've gotten this far and the idea of these three characters being in a polyamorous relationship threw you for a major loop and you can't handle it, that's fine, too. Thanks for your support up until now, anyway, and I'm sorry this didn't turn out the way you hoped or expected. I hope you find another story that is equally or more entertaining and that is everything you're looking for.

Please don't forget to add me or this story to your favorites and/or alerts if you're going to stick around, and let me know what you think of the story so far and where you think it should go in the future as a review. Thanks, and I hope to see you in the next chapter, too!

Much love,

Nira

P.S. This is not an invitation for flame reviews or to start a debate thread via reviews on whether polyamory/Consensual Non-monogamy(CNM) is ethical, moral, wrong, or whatever. I support it, but I am aware that not everyone does. Due to the right to freedom of speech and freedom of the press, I can express myself however I see fit as can everyone else, but this is not the place for that. Let the story be a story. If you don't like it, don't read it but don't shame others for continuing to read it if you choose not to. It's as simple as that. If you want to start a debate about it, dm me and I MAY entertain you, but I am in no way whatsoever obligated to do so. If you're curious and want to know more, dm me and I'll educate you based on my experiences which are not an end-all-be-all for all things polyamory/CNM.