Tony stared at the surgeon, numb with shock and disbelief. It was impossible. What should have been a quick surgery several days before to repair an aneurysm had turned into an endless nightmare, with more weakened blood vessels in Pepper's brain rupturing and causing it to almost continuously hemorrhage.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Stark," the surgeon said. "We've done everything we can to stop the bleeding. But the second we stop the hemorrhaging in one spot, another vessel opens up."
"But there has to be...I mean you have to...she can't...," Tony stammered desperately.
The doctor shook his head. "By now, there is so much damage to her brain, the only thing left to do is to let you say goodbye. She doesn't have long now. Just be assured that she'll go peacefully, and without any more suffering."
Tony nodded, speechlessly. He scrubbed a hand over his face, and turned around to look at his kids, his heart breaking for them to be in this situation with him. H.A. was 7, and little Ginny was just 4. God, what am I gonna do without her?, he thought. I can't do this alone!
He turned back toward the surgeon. "Um, can...can I see her?" he asked softly, his voice weak.
The surgeon smiled gently. "Of course," he said.
XxXxXxXxXx
A nurse had graciously volunteered to stay with the children, while the surgeon had taken him back to Pepper's room. He feared the kids seeing their mother like this would be too traumatic for them, as they'd already been through so much. And being with the love of his life for these last remaining moments was going to be hard enough.
He stepped inside, and the surgeon bid him goodbye. Tony thanked him, and walked silently over to Pepper's bedside, where she lay with her eyes closed, her chest softly rising and falling, the only sound in the room being the rhythmic beep of the heart monitor. He'd managed to stay strong to this point, but now, seeing her and knowing she was slowly slipping away, he fell apart, and sat down heavily on the edge of bed. He pulled her into his arms. "Hello, my beautiful bride," he whispered, smiling through his tears as he kissed the side of her head, and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "They're telling me this is goodbye for us, Pep," he said. He pulled back and looked at her wistfully. "I'm gonna miss you, baby. We all are." He continued to gaze at her, trying to soak in everything about what would probably be the last time he'd get to see her alive. He shook his head sadly. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I never thought I'd have to BE without you, honey," he admitted. He brushed her hair back behind her ears and kissed her forehead. Then he gently laid his forehead against hers. "I'm not ready to give you up," he said, tears streaming down his face. He cupped her cheek, and stroked it with his thumb. He picked up her left hand and kissed it before looking at her wedding ring and smiling at it fondly. "I still love the way this looks on you. The day I married you was the greatest day of my life. Well," he said, sheepishly. "THAT and the day you told me we were pregnant," he mused. New tears burned his eyes. "I NEVER, in a million years, thought I would be a dad, Pep. You know that." Tony smiled, and patted her hand. "But now? I can't imagine life without our kids!" He bit his lip, as he started to cry again. "So, thank you, baby," he whispered. "Thanks for giving me your heart, our family, your love, and..." he said, his voice giving out. He shook his head again. "I can't live without you, Pep!" he whispered. "Please don't leave me alone! If you can hear me, hold on, okay? I don't want to live without you, baby. Please..."
His words were suddenly cut off by the rapidly increasing beep of the EKG machine. He sat back, and watched the screen, bringing her hand to his lips. At first glance, it looked like Pepper was coming back from the brink. But the surgeon had told him that, if Pepper's heart rate suddenly increased, it meant that she'd stopped breathing, and would quickly pass away soon after. He closed his eyes, keeping his lips pressed to the back of her hand, the rapid beeping of the heart monitor echoing in his ears as the realization that she was slipping away sank like a stone in his stomach. Then suddenly, the rapid beeping stopped. He raised his head and flicked his eyes again to the monitor just in time to see her last heartbeat leave the screen, to be replaced by a flatline and a steady beeeeeeep before all was silent.
His shoulders started to shake as he began to sob. He pulled her upper body into his arms, and held her tight. "Goodbye, Pepper," he whispered. He hugged her tightly, and then lowered his lips to hers, kissing her softly. "You'll always be the love of my life," he murmured in her ear, gently rocking back and forth, trying to take in the last little bit of her warmth before death's chill came to claim her forever.
XxXxXxXxXx
Tony had brought his kids home from Rhodey's barbecue that evening, and both of them had gone to bed early. He made sure Ginny was comfortable, promised her he'd check on her every couple of hours after kissing her goodnight, and then he decided to go for a walk on the beach. The sun had almost set, and he watched the color start to fade out of the sky slowly as he walked, thinking about the night Pepper died, and how lonely the world had suddenly felt without her. Even when they weren't a couple, some how life had felt so much more happy and vibrant with her in it.
He bent down to pick up a flat rock, skimming it over the water's surface as he walked and thought. A seagull squawked over head and Tony watched it ride an air current above him for a moment before it flew farther out to sea. The last glimmer of daylight sparkled on the water, out to the horizon, but something else down the beach in the distance caught his eye. He squinted and strained to make out what his eyes were telling him was a silhouette of a person walking in his direction. The closer they came, the more detail he could begin to decipher. He realized it was a woman, in a long,white shimmering dress. She also had long flowing, red hair.
This made Tony stop, suddenly mesmerized by the familiarity of this silhouette. He blinked and squinted even more, trying to deny what he was seeing. "No," he whispered. "That's impossible." The figure got closer, to where he could discern the facial features. And what he saw made him gasp and fall to his knees. His breath caught in his chest. "Oh God, baby! Is that really you?!" he cried, tears filling his eyes and spilling over onto his cheeks.
The figure came to rest in front of him, and smiled. Tony stared at her in awe, unable to move. It was Pepper, shrouded in white, glittery, illuminating light. She held her arms out to him, and Tony scrambled to his feet, not being able to accept her invitation fast enough. He practically fell into her arms when he stood, but she was rock steady, and righted them both. He felt her hold him, and he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. He began to sob, his shoulders shuddering as he cried in her arms, the sudden release of the weight of grief overwhelming him. She remained silent, holding him as he cried. And after a few moments, Tony pulled back to look at her. She was still softly smiling.
"I must be losing my mind," he murmured. He shook his head."How can you...I..you're dead, Pep! That night! In the hospital! I held you, until you went cold, in my arms!" he sobbed. "And the kids and I! We went to your grave two days ago. How is this even...?" he stammered. She raised a finger to his lips to gently quiet him, and she looked deeply into his eyes. Tony stopped talking, and gazed back at her, his eyes wide and questioning.
Pepper's lips didn't move, but Tony could hear her voice in his mind. "Save me, Tony," it said.
He looked at her curiously. "Save you?" he asked. "What do you mean? How can I save you?" He suddenly thought maybe he misunderstood her. "They tried, honey. There was nothing they could do," he offered.
He heard her voice again. "Save me, Tony," it repeated.
Slowly, she started to fade. "No," Tony protested. "No, Pepper, please! Don't go. Don't leave me again!" he begged. But soon, she faded away and he was left standing in the sand, alone once again. He fell back to his knees, and began to weep bitterly, feeling the cold rush of loneliness and hurt sweep over him again.