Love the response to this story! Thank you, all of you, who have reviewed, favorited, and followed! I really appreciate it! I know I appear a bit sadistic with this one, and all of the Pepperony angst, but I promise you I'm not really a cruel person (contrary to what you might believe! LOL!) Anyway, stick with it. I have a lot more in store, as I do for all of my current works-in-progress! Thank you again for your loyalty!
Tony awoke to the sound of the waves, and the feeling of the morning air on his face. He slowly opened his eyes to see the sun coming up in the east. Realizing he was on the beach, he suddenly sat up, brushing the sand from his face and hair, and looked around, trying to get his bearings. Slowly, the recollection of what had happened seeped into his mind. "So real," he murmured, shaking his head in disbelief. The way it felt to hold Pepper again made his heart ache. He swore he could still feel her in his arms.
But the despair was quickly replaced by the panic of not being able to understand why he'd spent the night on the beach. Also, his mind sparked at another concern."Shit! Ginny!" he gasped, realizing he'd gone the whole night without checking on her. He scrambled to his feet and sprinted up the sand to the house, climbing the stairs to the back balcony and throwing the door open. Both children were on the living room couch watching TV, in their pajamas, staring at him curiously.
"Daddy? Are you alright?"Ginny asked cautiously.
Tony heaved a sigh of relief to see that she was okay. "Y-yeah, honey. I'm okay," he said breathlessly. "How's your head?"
The little girl smiled and shrugged. "It's fine," she said.
Tony nodded and smiled, grateful that she was feeling better.
"Did you spend the night on the beach?" H.A asked.
Tony looked at his son awkwardly. "I...uh," he said. "Just...just watch your sister. I'm gonna hit the showers."
The children watched their father cross the living room and jog up the stairs to his bedroom. Then they looked at each other and shrugged, dismissing his odd behavior.
XxXxXxXxXx
Tony stripped down as the shower heated up. Then he climbed inside and let the water cascade down his back as he tried to go over the chain of events from last night, and recall the last thing that happened. He remembered the feeling of Pepper being in his arms again, and how wonderful it felt to see her smile and to hear her sweet voice. A lump formed in this throat at the thought, and he took a deep breath to keep his emotions from welling up again. Save me, Tony, he could still her saying. "What could that possibly mean?" he murmured out loud, furrowing his brow in thought.
He thought about what Rhodey had said the day before, about how he believed our loved ones never really leave us. But is this what he meant by that?, Tony wondered. Sure, he'd always have the memories of he and Pepper together. But did Rhodey literally mean that Pepper was still there, by his side, watching over him? Tony shook his head, and quickly finished his shower. He shut off the water and grabbed a towel off the rack to dry off. He stepped out and wrapped his around his waist. Then he walked to the mirror and examined his reflection. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head again. "I must be losing my mind," he said. "She's gone. We laid her to rest. That's all there is to it," he said with new resolve. "Last night was a dream. I fell asleep on the beach, and had a dream." He had to forget about what happened. If he didn't, it would eat him alive. The best thing for him to do, he decided, was to get dressed, and go downstairs to spend time with his children.
XxXxXxXx
A few minutes later, Tony jogged back downstairs, all clean, combed, and freshly shaven. Ginny's eyes lit up at the sight of her father, all put back together. Tony grinned at the little girl's dimpled smile.
"Wanna watch cartoons with us, daddy?" she asked. "You can sit by me!"
"I would love to sit by you, baby," he said, lifting her legs to sit down. He put them back over his lap.
"Feeling better?" she asked him.
"Yes," Tony said, nodding. "And I'm certainly glad to see that you are, as well."
Ginny nodded proudly. "I'm fine. Just a little tired, but I'm fine," she said. She sat up and climbed into his lap.
"Good," he said, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her on the top of her head, and then rested his cheek against it. "What are we watching?" he asked.
"Mega-morphing teenage robot ninjas," H.A answered plainly.
"Uh-huh," Tony said skeptically. He cocked an eyebrow and gave his daughter a goofy look. She giggled.
"It's funny, daddy," she said, trying to persuade him.
"Oh, it looks...hilarious," he replied drolly. "Where's the Bugs Bunny? Or Wile E. Coyote?"
Both kids looked at him in confusion. "Okay, clearly I'm out of my league, here," Tony said.
He settled back, and pulled Ginny closer. He watched the show for a few moments, trying to grasp the appeal that it had to his kids when JARVIS spoke.
"In-coming call from Colonel Rhodes, Sir," he announced.
"Tell him to hold on, J. I'll take it down stairs," he said. He scooted Ginny off his lap. "Be right back, guys," he said, as he jogged down the stairs.
"Put him through, J," Tony requested, once he'd made it into the shop. He plunked down in his desk chair, and propped his feet up on his desk.
"Hey, Tony, just checking on my god daughter," Rhodey said.
"She's fine. Doing better than expected, actually. She was up bright and early this morning, watching the mighty-mega...uh...robot...teenage," he stammered. " Whatever. Cartoons. Let's go with that," he stated finally.
"I know, right? Some of the crap they have on TV for kids now. Like, what ever happened to Daffy Duck? And Bugs Bunny?" Rhodey commented.
"I know! That's what I said!" Tony agreed. "It's a sad state of affairs if our children don't get exposed to bugs bunny in a viking helmet and a metal corset singing opera," he joked. The men both laughed.
"And you? How are you holding up? Yesterday was a little scary, I have to say," Rhodey said.
"Funny you should ask," Tony replied. He took his feet off his desk and sat up. He cleared his throat anxiously. "I...uh," he stammered, not sure how to begin. He sighed. "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot," Rhodey said.
"When you said you believe that our loved ones never really leave us, did you literally mean that?"
Rhodey was silent. "I'm...not sure I follow, Tony," he said softly.
Tony scrubbed a hand over his face, and shook his head in disbelief at the conversation he was about to have with his friend. "I mean, do you...literally think," he began. "That Pepper is, in fact, still here? With me in some way?"
He heard Rhodey clear his throat. "Well," he said. "Before I answer that, are you asking me for any specific reason? Did...did something else happen, Tony? You mentioned the dream you had the other night, and that you felt like it was a sign from Pepper that Ginny came to your room, right?"
"Right," Tony agreed. He cleared his throat again, and chuckled nervously. "You're going to think I'm ready for the nut house," he murmured.
"Oh, I've thought that since the day we met," Rhodey teased.
"Ha!" Tony said, laughing. "Okay, smart ass. Well, that's about to be tested, then," he replied.
Rhodey's tone changed. "Why? What happened?" he asked curiously.
"Last night, after we came home, and I put the kids to bed? I went for a walk on the beach. It was sunset, and just as the light was fading, I saw...someone," he began.
"Someone? Like who?" Rhodey asked.
"It was... a woman," Tony said reluctantly. "She was tall, and wore a long, sparkly white dress, and uh..." he said, his voice catching in his throat. "She had long red hair."
"Tony," Rhodey warned. "You can't possibly think that was..."
"Oh, there's more!" Tony interrupted. "I stopped walking, and I watched her, as she moved closer and closer to me. Rhodey," he said. "It was her."
"Her," Rhodey said.
"Yes."
"Pepper."
"Yes."
Both men were silent for a few moments, before Rhodey spoke again. "It was sunset, right? Maybe, in the heat waves, you thought you saw something," he reasoned.
"No, Rhodey," Tony argued. "It was her. She walked right to me. She even..." he said, his voice cracking. Tony went silent for a moment to regain his composure. "She even held her arms out to me, and..."
"And?" Rhodey said, anxiously.
"And I held her," Tony murmured. "As if she had never left. I could actually feel her, man. In my arms!"
"Okay, you're right. This...just...wow," Rhodey said in disbelief.
"I know! I know! It sounds..." Tony began.
"Crazy?" Rhodey offered. "Tony, seriously, man. I'm worried about you. You need to get some help."
Tony exhaled, and shook his head. "Rhodey, don't you think I know how crazy this sounds?! That my deceased wife came to see me on the beach last night? And she even talked to me?"
"Whoa," Rhodey said. "She talked to you?"
"Yes!" Tony cried. "Not with her mouth, but more like...in my mind," he explained.
"Okay, now I've heard everything," Rhodey said. "Okay. For the sake of argument, I'm going to pretend to believe this, just for a second. What, if you don't mind my asking, did she say, exactly?"
"She said, 'save me, Tony'," Tony explained.
" 'Save me'," Rhodey repeated.
"Yeah. She said it twice, actually," Tony replied.
"Save her? From what?" Rhodey asked. "What in the world would that even mean at this point in time?"
"I don't know," Tony said. He shook his head, and chuckled sadly.
"This is crazy," Rhodey said.
"Oh, it gets better," Tony said.
"Better?! As in there's more?" Rhodey exclaimed.
"After she spoke to me, she faded away, right in front of me. I begged her not to go, but she left almost as soon as she appeared! And then next thing I remember?"
"Yeah?" Rhodey asked, anxiously.
"Is waking up this morning on the beach, right where she left me."
Rhodey went silent again. "You mean, you spent the night out there?"
"Yep," Tony said. "And I have no memory of falling asleep. All I remember is Pepper disappearing, and then me waking up on the sand."
"Tony," Rhodey said. "This isn't normal. People don't just see their deceased spouses walking toward them, much less interact with them, and then suddenly have a case of amnesia. Is there anything else that happened?"
"Why? Do you need more evidence that your best friend is losing his marbles?" Tony asked.
"Okay, alright, man, I, uh...," Rhodey stammered. "The kids. You need me to take the kids for a few days? Let you clear your head? Maybe check into some kind of...facility?" he offered, only half way joking.
Tony chuckled sadly. "Honestly, I don't know what to make of all of this, Rhodey," he said softly. "Why? Why this? Why now?"
"Yesterday, with what happened with Ginny, I can only guess that it had some kind of subconscious effect on you. And with the anniversary of Pepper's death being only just a few days ago, maybe it was just a really vivid dream," Rhodey hypothesized.
"Yeah," Tony said, nodding in agreement. "May be. Maybe I should just try to forget it, huh?"
"Have you said anything to the kids about it?" Rhodey asked.
Tony scoffed. "Please," he said. "They already think I'm nuts for sleeping on the beach last night. You should have seen their faces when I tromped through the living room bright and early this morning, all disoriented and covered in sand. Do you really think I'd tell them I had a conversation with their mother while I was out there? You'd have got a phone call from them first thing, begging you to come take them away from their crazy old man," Tony joked.
Rhodey chuckled. "Tony, listen to me," he said. "I know these last few years have been hard. But you have to think about maybe moving the grieving process along a little more."
Tony frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked.
Rhodey sighed. "I think you know what I mean," he said softly.
And he was right. Tony did know what he meant. Rhodey knew he'd never made the effort to box up Pepper's belongings, and really start to detach from her presence. Her clothes were still hanging in the closet. Tony'd kept her perfumes and cosmetics just as she'd left them in their bathroom. He was even still driving her car every day. And it was all because he didn't want to really face the idea that she was never coming back. At least with everything left the way it was, he could still feel close to her. But he knew he couldn't do this forever. There would come a time when he'd have to kiss those things goodbye, and officially move on without her. And that made him hurt. To his core.
"Yeah," Tony replied. "Yeah, I know what you mean," he admitted.
"That's all I'm saying, Tony," Rhodey said. "I guarantee you'll keep having these kinds of things happen, and they'll keep messing with your mind like they are, until you take the necessary steps to move on. It's only for the best, man."
Tony smiled sadly, and nodded. "I know, Rhodey," he said, sighing. "And you're right."
"Let me know if you need some help," Rhodey offered. "Until then, take it easy, huh? Get some rest? Play with your kids? Try to put all of this out of your mind."
"Or you'll be coming to take me away?" Tony joked.
Rhodey laughed. "Oh, I've had my eye on a straight-jacket for you for decades, Tony," he said. "Just been waiting for the right time to use it."
Tony laughed. "Well, the way I'm going, you'll have your pick of opportunities," he replied back. The men laughed.
"Seriously, though. Things get rough, or something else happens, you know you can call me, right?" Rhodey reminded him.
"I do know that. And thanks, man," Tony said graciously. Just then he spotted H.A coming downstairs. "Hey, Rhodey? Gotta go. H.A needs me," he said.
The men bid each other goodbye, and Tony opened the shop door. "Hey, buddy? What's wrong?" he asked.
"Ginny says her head hurts, and she's tired. I thought I should come to get you," he said.
Tony smiled. "Good call," he said, ruffling the boy's hair. They both walked back upstairs together, and Tony walked over to his daughter.
"Hey, baby? What's the matter?" he asked, bending over his daughter, who was lying on the couch.
"I'm sleepy, and I have a head ache," she said, drowsily.
"Okay," Tony said, picking her up in his arms. "Back to bed you go. They said you'd need a lot of rest." He carried the little girl back upstairs to her bedroom, and gently laid her in bed. He tucked her in, and then went to get the children's Tylenol out of his bathroom cabinet. He handed her two of the grape-flavored tablets when he returned, and she chewed them up.
"There," he said. He bent to kiss her forehead. "Sleep tight, little sprite," he chimed, as he turned to go.
"Daddy?" she asked.
Tony stopped, and turned around. "Yeah?" he asked.
"Can I look at the pictures of you and mommy on your phone?" she asked.
Tony looked at her curiously. "I thought you said you were sleepy?" he said.
Ginny shrugged. "I am," she affirmed. "But I just feel like looking at them. Just for a minute. Please?" she begged.
Tony surrendered, and pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening his photo albums. He thumbed to the ones she usually was talking about- their wedding photos, and the photos of when she and H.A were born.
He knelt beside her bed and held up the screen for her to see. She took the phone from him, and smiled at the first photo. It was one of he and Pepper, cutting their wedding cake. He had his arm around her waist and his hand over her's as they cut the cake together. Ginny thumbed through the next few, and stopped at another wedding photo where Tony was holding Pepper in his arms, and gently kissing her cheek. She was smiling lovingly, her eyes closed dreamily as she cupped his cheek. "I love this one," she said. "Mommy looks like a princess."
Tony smiled to himself. "She certainly does," he mused.
Ginny thumbed through some more, and came to rest on another one, in which Tony was gazing at Pepper in adoration, and she was returning his gaze. They looked so in love, and so happy, and his heart ached to remember such a blissful time. "Best day of my life," he murmured.
Ginny kept swiping through the pictures, landing on one with Pepper holding H.A, just after he was born. She looked exhausted, but completely euphoric and was positively glowing with motherly pride as she cradled her tiny son. "Wait, baby, isn't there a video of this?" Tony asked.
She handed him the phone, and Tony thumbed through his files to find it. "Ahh," he said. "Here we go." He handed the phone back to Ginny, and jabbed the screen to hit play.
There was Pepper, holding their new baby, and smiling proudly. "It is September 28th, and..." they heard his voice say. The camera quickly jerked to the clock on the delivery room wall and then back to Pepper's face. "It's like, four in the morning, and my wife, Virginia Marie Potts Stark, better known to the world as 'Pepper'," he said ceremoniously. Pepper giggled. "Has just given birth to quite possibly the most perfect baby the world has ever seen. Pepper, honey? Oh, light of my life? MOTHER of my child? Tell us, how are you feeling right now?" he said, in a loving, joking tone.
Pepper giggled again. "Well," she said, looking into the camera. "I'm EXHAUSTED. But also completely in love," she said looking back at her son. "He really IS the most perfect baby in the world, isn't he? I mean, just look at him!" she said, her voice giving out with emotion. Tony panned the camera down to his son, who was peacefully sleeping in his mother's arms. The baby had Tony's olive complexion, and a thick shock of dark hair, that stuck out in all directions like downy feathers.
After a few moments, Tony slowly panned the camera from the baby's face up to Pepper's, watching her as she fawned over her son. The baby could be heard cooing off camera, and you could hear both Tony and Pepper chuckled happily. "I love you, baby," Tony said. "And I'm so proud of you."
Pepper raised her eyes to the camera again. "I love you, too," she said dreamily. "Here," she offered. "It's your turn. You take HIM," she said, carefully handing Tony the baby. "And I'll take that," she said.
The camera jostled around, and soon Tony could be seen, sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his newborn son. "Now it's YOUR turn to be interviewed, daddy," Pepper teased.
Tony beamed at his new title. "Fire away, Potts," he said, smirking.
Pepper giggled. "How does it feel to be holding your son for the first time?" she asked him.
"In a word? Amazing," Tony purred. The baby suddenly yawned and sighed loudly, and Tony beamed at him, cradling him closer in his arms. "Tough day, huh, Pal?" he said. He gently lifted one of the baby's hands to his lips and kissed it sweetly. Then he looked back at Pepper and smiled in admiration.
"What?" Pepper asked.
Tony shook his head in disbelief. "Thank you," he said. "Really. I never would have thought..." he said, his voice breaking.
"What's this?" Pepper teased. "I believe this is the first recorded instance of Tony ACTUALLY shedding a tear, ladies and gentlemen? Could it BE that the great Tony Stark has developed a SOFT SPOT?"
Tony scoffed and smiled at her sheepishly. "You're just trying to embarrass me, Potts," he said. "And it's not going to work."
"Oh, I beg to differ," she argued. "That's not what it looks like from here."
Tony chuckled at her teasing him. "Yeah, well," he cooed at his son. "If ever there was moment to be soft," he said, pulling the baby up to his shoulder, and cuddling him gently. "I think it would be NOW. Right, Mamma?"
"Here, here," Pepper purred. She'd lingered on the picture of Tony holding his son so tenderly for a few moments, before stopping the recording.
Ginny handed the phone back to Tony, who quickly brushed some stray tears away. He smiled at his daughter, and she smiled back. She rolled onto her side to face him. "Daddy? I have a question," she said.
"What is it, baby?" he asked, leaning closer to her, and gently stroking her forehead.
"If H.A was the most perfect baby in the world, what does that make me?" she asked.
Tony laughed. "Well, H.A was the most perfect boy baby, so that would make you the most perfect girl baby," he explained. "Make sense?"
She nodded. But the she frowned in thought. "So...what if you and mommy would have had more babies?" she asked innocently. "What would they have been?"
Tony looked at her curiously, and smiled. "Well," he said slowly, honestly stumped by her inquiry. "I guess they would have been pretty perfect, too, I suppose?" he offered.
"Hmmmm," Ginny said. "Did you and mommy ever want to have more babies?" she asked.
Tony smiled at her sweetly, and thought for a moment. "We never really discussed it, honey. But, if it was meant to be, I'm sure we would have," he said.
"I've always wanted a sister," she said.
"You have?" he asked, surprised by this revelation. She'd never expressed this to him before, and he was a little taken aback.
Ginny nodded. "I think it would be fun to have another girl in the house. I'm out numbered now, since Mommy isn't here anymore. Another girl would make it fair."
Tony laughed. "How very diplomatic of you," he joked.
Ginny smiled. "And boys are icky. No offense," she said.
"None taken," Tony replied. "Just do me a favor and keep thinking that until you're at least thirty five, huh? That'll save me a lot of heart ache."
Ginny giggled and Tony's heart warmed at her laughter. He smiled lovingly at her. "Now, miss thing," he said, poking her playfully in the arm with his two index fingers. She giggled again, while trying to deflect his jabs. "It's nap time. You need your rest. Gotta heal up that noggin. Okay?"
"Okay," Ginny agreed.
Tony smiled at her as he pulled the covers up over her again, and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams," he murmured, as he turned to go.
He softly closed the door behind him, but leaned against the wall in the hallway, lost in thought. He and Rhodey's conversation resurfaced in his mind. "Take the necessary steps to move on," he heard Rhodey say. "It's only the for the best."
Tony picked up his phone and reopened the video he and Ginny had just watched. Pepper's face, so tired, but so blissful, looked back at him as he pulled up the options menu, and stared at the delete button for a moment, his thumb hovering over the top of it. "He's right, you know," he said to her. "I can't live in the past forever, Pep. You understand."
Suddenly, the image of how she looked to him the night before, and the sound of her voice in his head, saying, "Save me, Tony," began to drown out Rhodey's voice. Tony's thumb quivered and twitched in hesitation for several seconds before he sighed heavily, chickening out and reverting the screen back to the original menu, leaving the video in tact.
He shook his head. "Damn it. How am I ever going to get over her?" he murmured to himself.