Just wanted to tell all of you thank you for your loyalty and your reviews! I know this is a tough one to read! And believe me! It's a tough one to write! But thank you for sticking with it! And there is plenty more to come!
Tony awoke to the fussy sounds of his new born daughter coming out of the speaker of the baby monitor. Pepper stirred and groaned. "Go back to sleep, Pep. I got this," he said, patting her hip.
"Mmmm, thanks," Pepper grumbled sleepily, quickly rolling over and going back to sleep.
Tony crept into the next room to find the baby wide awake, and fussing impatiently. "Hey! Hey, little girl. What's the matter, huh?" he cooed to her softly as he picked her up out of her bassinet and laid her against his shoulder. It was their first night home from the hospital since she'd been born, and it was Tony's turn to attend to her.
"What's going on, here, huh?" he said softly. The baby whimpered as Tony walked to the changing table, laid her down, and unbuttoned the bottom half of her little pink footie pajamas. "Okay, I see what the problem is," he said, noticing her diaper was very wet. "This is a daddy level emergency, so you're in luck, babe," he said. "But just know? Anything higher than this, and reinforcements would have had to be called in."
Tony heard giggling behind him, as he stripped off the wet diaper, and proceeded to change his daughter. He looked over his shoulder. "I thought I said I got this?" he said.
"Baby monitor," Pepper said, leaning against the door frame and smiling at him. "It's hard to sleep when I can hear you and your daughter having a conversation."
"Yeah, well," Tony said, finishing buttoning the last of the snaps. He picked the little girl up, who was quite contented now, and cradled her in his arms. "It just so happens I find her very easy to talk to."
"Good thing," Pepper said, grinning. "Because that will be tested when she's about thirteen or so."
Tony shook his head in denial. "Not MY daughter," he said. "She and I are going to be best buds. Isn't that right, princess? Yes. Mommy doesn't think so, but I do," he cooed to her sweetly.
Pepper giggled again. The baby yawned and snuggled into her father's protective arms, easily dozing off again. "Crisis averted," Pepper whispered jokingly.
Tony smiled. "Go ahead and go back to bed, baby," he murmured to her quietly. "Me and Miss Muffett, here, need some daddy-daughter time."
"Now? In the middle of the night?" Pepper asked.
"Yes, now," Tony said. "Go on. I'll be along shortly."
Pepper shrugged. "It's YOUR sleep deprivation," she said. She pecked his cheek. "Just don't be TOO long, huh?"
Tony smiled and nodded. Pepper left the room and he settled in to the rocking chair across from the crib, bringing his daughter up so that she laid against his chest. He felt her warmth against him, and he reached inside the crib to grab a receiving blanket to drape over her back. As soon as he did this, she gave a happy little sigh, and he smiled. He rubbed soothing circles on her back and began to rock gently back and forth.
"So glad you're finally here," he murmured. He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head, feeling her light red, feathery wisps of hair against his lips. She felt so delicate to him, like a fragile little doll. When H.A was born, Tony remembered thinking he was so small, but that he was also strong, and sturdy. H.A was a very strong baby, and he remembered Pepper complaining about frequently getting a hard kick in the side or the ribs when she was pregnant with him. And H.A was a mover. It was rare during Pepper's pregnancy that he wasn't moving, and the same held true after he was born. He liked to be where the actions was, and to look around, and be able to play. But Ginny was the opposite. She was active in moderate amounts, but was quite contented when she was in someone's arms just watching the world go by or sleeping. She was calm when her needs were met, however she would certainly let her mom and dad know when she needed something. Tony teased Pepper that her temper was a genetic trait that she'd passed along to their daughter, and Pepper shot back with the fact that it was just a "red headed Potts thing", and he wouldn't understand.
Tony took one of her hands in his, and raised it up to his lips to kiss it. He marveled at how tiny it was, and how soft her skin was compared to his. Pepper had given her her first at-home bath just before putting her to bed, and she smelled so sweet, like lavender and...and...he didn't know what. Just perfection,he thought happily. He never knew having a little girl would feel like this. He loved having a son, and saw so much of himself in him. But now that Ginny was here, he wanted to keep her in his arms every minute of the day. He wanted to protect her from the world, and all of its chaos and mayhem. "I'll always keep you safe, baby girl," he promised in a whisper. "I won't let anything ever happen to you. You're daddy's girl, honey. Nothing's ever going to change that."
In the room next door, Pepper was in bed, curled up in the blankets, listening intently to his voice in the baby monitor, and wiping the tears silently from her eyes.
XxXxXxXxXx
Tony stared hopelessly at his daughter's face, completely lost as he recalled that night. It didn't seem real, to be in this place again. Today, the wound from Pepper's death had been ripped open again, gaping and bleeding far worse than it had before. He wondered if it would ever heal. He couldn't see how it would.
He picked up Ginny's hand, and held it in his. It was cold, with almost a plastic, waxy feeling to it, not at all the way it had felt in the past. He gazed at her face, bending closer, trying to memorize every last detail before it was too late, and he'd never get the chance again. She looked so peaceful. He was glad she wasn't suffering anymore. He could still hear her voice from that night she'd had the seizure, calling his name questioningly, as if she was asking him why he'd broken his promise to her from so long ago, that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. That she'd always be safe with him. He recalled the terrified look in her eyes, practically begging him to make it all stop. And he couldn't. The monster in the closet had come out to get her. The creature under the bed had come to snatch her up. And he could do nothing but watch her get dragged away from him.
"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured to her, his eyes beginning to burn. He closed them for a moment, as the tears squeezed out and ran down his cheeks. "I failed you. I'm so sorry," he said, opening his eyes again to look at her. He rested his head against his fist, and set his elbow on the edge of where she lay. He lovingly arranged a couple of curls of her long hair with the other hand. They'd done it in ringlets, and it cascaded down the front of her shoulders, like the hair of one those porcelain dolls you'd see in a toy store window. It glistened in the bright overhead light from above, the rest of the room doused in soft, muted light as other people came and went, talking softly amongst themselves in hushed whispers. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned his head to look at who it was.
Marilynn Potts, Pepper's mother, had flown in a few days before to help with all of the arrangements. She'd been a huge source of support to him, as she'd been when Pepper died. But there were times when she'd excused herself from his presence, and he'd heard her crying, behind a closed door in the next room. "Can I get you anything, darlin?" she asked softly, in her comforting, motherly, southern drawl.
Tony shook his head numbly, bringing his gaze back to his daughter.
"She looks so beautiful," Marilynn mused softly. "Like a little princess."
"She was a little princess," Tony replied. "My little princess."
He stood up from the kneeling position he had been in, and rested his hands on the edge of the casket Marilynn had helped him to pick out. It was a light shade of rose, with gilded, silver detailing along all of the edges, with silver handles along the side. The inside was lined with a light pink satin. Ginny was dressed in a pink baby doll dress in almost the same shade. There was a pink ribbon tied in her hair, the bow sitting delicately on the top of her head, and they'd framed her face with her long red hair, her tiny hands resting, one over the other, on her stomach.
"So many people have come to pay their respects, Tony," she murmured to him. "It's always nice to know how much you're loved."
Tony smiled weakly in acknowledgement.
Marilynn looked at her granddaughter forlornly. "Such a shame," she said. "It's this damned curse we have on this family, taking another one away."
Tony turned his gaze to her and frowned. "Curse?" he asked, vaguely recalling her mentioning this to him at Pepper's funeral.
"The Potts curse, we call it. High blood pressure and weak veins. First it was Ginny's daddy, and her Uncle, then it was herself, and now it's our precious little girl, here," she said, patting her grand daughter's hand lovingly.
"High blood pressure in a seven year old?" Tony asked, frowning. "Can't say they said anything about that in the hospital."
Marilynn shook her head. "I don't have the answers for that, honey," she said. "All I know is this is the youngest victim in our family so far. And I pray to God it doesn't take anymore of our babies! This is just too hard!" she said, her voice faltering as she began to weep. Tony pulled her into his arms and they hugged each other tightly as Marilynn cried on his shoulder.
Several moments passed before they broke their embrace. Marilynn pulled a tissue out of her sleeve and dabbed it under her eyes. Tony watched her, his face solemn, and his brow in a permanent frown. "The doctors said her condition was accelerated by the concussion she'd had," he explained. "But you know what I can't understand? If there was some kind of pre-existing condition, why didn't JARVIS detect a problem in the days leading up to the seizure?" He turned back to look again at Ginny. "I really had no hope of saving her. And I promised her I would. I told her, a long time ago, she'd always be safe, Marilynn. And I failed her. I..." Tony said, his voice giving out as his sorrow overcame him, and he began to sob. He covered his eyes with a hand and Marilynn wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they shook, rubbing his back and trying to comfort him.
"There, there, dear," she said. "You can't hold yourself responsible for this. That isn't fair to do to yourself." A few more moments passed, and Marilynn spoke again. "You know what has been a comfort to me in all of this?"
Tony raised his head to look at her, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. He didn't speak. He just patiently awaited her answer.
"She's with her mama, again," she said, smiling softly. "Ginny hasn't got to hold her little girl in an awfully long time. And today, she finally gets to again!" she said, her voice in a reverent whisper, her eyes glassing over with fresh tears as she smiled kindly at her son-in-law.
Tony chuckled, despite his heart ache. He smiled a broken smile at her and nodded. "Yeah," he said in agreement. "I guess that is a comforting thing."
"You bet it is," she said. They both turned back toward the casket, and gazed at Ginny as she lied there, waiting to be laid to rest.
