After Ginny had been laid to rest beside her mother in the place once again intended for Tony, and all of the mourners had left that day, Tony and H.A sat on the marble bench in the mausoleum in silence, the earth-shattering ache of their grief rendering them both speechless. Tony could do nothing but stare at the newly placed nameplate on the door of Ginny's crypt, which read Virginia Maria "Ginny" Stark in raised gold lettering. He had to keep reading it, over and over, to make himself believe that it was really her, lying there in that little pink casket for all of eternity.
"Dad?" he heard H.A. murmur. He'd rested his head against Tony's shoulder.
Tony just kept staring straight ahead glumly. But he acknowledged H.A. with an almost inaudible "Hmmm?"
H.A raised his head and flicked his eyes upward to his dad. "Am I next?" he asked, his eyes full of trepidation.
Tony frowned and turned his gaze to his son. "Next?" he said, cocking an eyebrow.
H.A nodded and shrugged. "It would only make sense," he said. "You know what Grandma says. It's a curse. You're probably safe. But not me. I'm..." the boy said, his voice warbling as tears began to fall.
Tony pulled his son into his arms and hugged him tight. "You're not going anywhere, H.A. Okay?" he said, stroking the boy's hair and laying his cheek on the top of his head.
H.A sobbed into his father's chest. "How do you know?" he asked tearfully.
"Because I just do," Tony assured firmly, pulling back to look into his son's redden eyes. He put his hands on H.A.'s shoulders. "Listen to me, buddy. Nothing is going to happen to you, okay? I won't let it."
"You said the same thing to Ginny!" H.A argued. He choked out a sob, and Tony pulled him back to his chest, wrapping him in his arms once more. He's not wrong!, he thought hopelessly. And because of that, there was nothing he could say in response. All he could do was try to comfort his son as he cried, the sound of his soft sobbing reverberating in the empty room of the Stark mausoleum.
XxXxXxXxXx
It had been two months since the funeral, and Tony had settled into a routine of going through the motions of daily life for the sake of he and H.A, but spending most of the day at the mausoleum once he dropped H.A off at school. He knew it wouldn't change anything, and it didn't really make him feel better, either. But he felt like his heart was in limbo. The love of his life, and now his precious little girl, were gone forever. And he wondered how he'd ever move past this. The agony was so raw, and unrelenting, that it hurt to even breathe most of the time, which is why this was all he could bring himself to do each day, besides try to care for H.A the best he could.
Marilynn had stuck around for those first few weeks after the funeral. She'd filled the freezer with casseroles, and handled the daily housework. She helped H.A with his homework, and kept Tony company when he needed someone to talk to. And after she left, Rhodey stepped in, checking on them daily, and making sure Tony was eating and sleeping as regularly as possible. Tony was immensely grateful for the both of them. For without them, he'd would have retreated into himself, and jump started some very old, very bad habits just trying to self-medicate and make the pain stop. Pepper had seen to it to do away with all hard liquor in the house once she found out she was pregnant with H.A. And Tony had honored that decision since then, even though there were times, like this, that he'd have killed for a drink.
Another night had fallen, and Tony tucked H.A into bed. They hadn't really talked much since that day at the mausoleum. It was mostly in passing, and always small talk. It wasn't what Tony preferred, but he knew that talking about Ginny's death would only exacerbate H.A's concern for his own well being. So, he let H.A. talk to him as he saw fit. He knew living each day in perfect health would be the only thing to prove to his son that he wasn't going to die like his sister had. Ginny's freak accident had accelerated her condition. The doctors had confirmed that to him. And as long as H.A. didn't experience any brain trauma, he knew he'd stand a good chance of living a long life.
"Good night, buddy," Tony said, as he sat on the edge of the bed. He ruffled the boy's hair, and kissed his forehead. "I love you."
"I love you, too, dad," H.A replied bashfully.
Tony stood up to leave, but hesitated for a moment. It was true that he didn't want to dredge up H.A's fears, but it had also been a while since they'd checked in with each other. They needed to bring their relationship back to center.
"Uh, H.A?" he asked.
"Yeah, dad?"
Tony pursed his lips, and slowly sat back down on the bed. "How are you doing, son?" he asked.
H.A. stared at his father for a few short moments, and then slowly shrugged. "Fine, I guess," he replied.
"Really?" Tony asked. "You're...you're doing okay? After all of..." he motioned around them. "All of this," he asked.
H.A. nodded. "I try not to think about it a lot. Just like when mom died. I guess that's why I haven't talked to you much," he admitted.
Tony smiled and nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I've noticed," he said. He then furrowed his brow. "Are you still scared?" he asked softly.
H.A. searched his dad's eyes for a moment before he spoke. Then he shook his head slowly.
Tony smiled. "Good," he said approvingly. "There's no reason for you to be."
"I know, dad," H.A. said.
Tony patted H.A's leg. "Well, then," he said with satisfaction, standing up again. "Sleep tight, huh?"
"I will," H.A replied.
Tony smiled again at his son, and flicked off the light. "Good night," he said finally, before closing the door.
H.A. waved goodbye, but stayed sitting up in bed, his face contorting as tears filled his eyes. He'd lied. He had to. He knew his dad was still very much in pain, so how could he bring himself to put more hurt on him right now? But the truth was, he was scared. Very scared. And with good reason. It had started just a few weeks ago, after his Grandma Marilynn had left. And now, the pain in his head was getting increasingly worse and was lasting longer and longer with each bout. At this rate, he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to hide it from his father before he'd have to tell him the truth.
XxXxXxXxXx
Tony closed H.A's door, and walked down the hall. He paused in front of Ginny's bedroom door, which had been closed since the night of her seizure. He hadn't been able to bring himself to go in there since she died. Each time he passed by it, a fresh, icy stab of hurt pierced him, and it always stopped him in his tracks. He turned his head and looked at it for a moment. He worked his jaw in thought before resolving that he couldn't hide from this room forever. So he slowly opened the door. The light from the hallway flooded the room, so he didn't bother to flip on the light switch, but instead briskly walked inside and sat on the bed heavily, before he could change his mind. The room smelled like her, and he could swear she was standing in there with him. His chest began to heave, and Tony slammed his eyes shut. He slowly leaned forward and put his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees, as his eyes filled with tears and he began to softly sob.
He suddenly felt the harsh heaviness of his grief. It felt like a lead weight had been hung around his neck, and it had become so burdensome that exhaustion filled his bones and muscles with a thick, black pitch, making every movement take monumental effort. He slowly listed to the side, laying down on the bed, and curling up into a protective ball, tucking his hands under his arms and closing his eyes, as he laid his head on his daughter's pillow. He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, taking in the scent of it. "I miss you so much, baby girl," he whispered in the darkness.
His weary mind started to drift, and his breathing settled back down as he began to lightly doze. Ginny's pillow was replaced, in his mind, by her lap, and he could almost feel her little fingers running lovingly through his hair.
"I miss you, too, daddy," he could hear her say. "Please don't be sad."
"I'm trying, baby," he muttered sleepily. "But it's so hard."
He continued to drift off to sleep, comforted only by the feeling of Ginny's presence there with him.
XxXxXxXxXx
Some time later, Tony slowly opened his eyes to the sound of his little girl's laughter. He furrowed his brow in confusion and sat up to see she was happily skipping and playing in the room around him. The room was still dark, but she was aglow in white shimmering light, her red ringlet curls bouncing as she played. She wore the pink baby doll dress he'd laid her to rest in, with the matching ribbon in her hair. She looked as lively as she ever had, and had that same mischievous sparkle in her eye he'd always admired. Tony's heart leapt at the sight, his mind thinking that her passing away had all been a bad dream, and she really was here with him, alive and well again. "Ginny?" he said hopefully.
"Come with me, daddy! Come play with me!" she cried, though her lips didn't move. Just like it had happened with his visions of Pepper, he could only hear her voice in his head.
Tony stood up off the bed, and he felt Ginny grasp his hand. She pulled him out of the room, and down the hall. "Where are we going, honey?" he asked her.
She didn't reply, but Tony happily let her lead him by the hand anyway, smiling to himself at how wonderful it felt to actually be holding her hand again. She led him into his bedroom, and when he saw what Ginny had brought him in there to see, he stopped in his tracks, wide eyed in disbelief.
Pepper was there awaiting him, bathed in the same white light, and in the same white sparkling dress as before. She smiled kindly at him as she opened her arms to her daughter. Ginny let go of her father's hand, and ran to her mother. Tony noticed that Pepper no longer looked pregnant, as she had previously. He wondered why this had changed.
"I did it, mommy! I did it!" Ginny cried.
Tony just stared, shaking his head. "Why?" he asked hopelessly. "Why are you doing this to me, Pep? I...I don't understand..."
Her expression became very serious, and her lips turned down in a slight frown. "Save her, Tony," she said, again her mouth not moving but her voice echoing in his mind.
Tony chuckled bitterly. "Save who, Pepper?! Ginny?!" he asked exasperatedly. "And what am I supposed to do? She's gone, honey! You're gone, and she's gone, and I'm...I'm..." he said, stopping short as his throat closed up with bitter emotion. "Please, Pepper," he begged in whisper. "I can't take this anymore."
Pepper just stared at him for a few moments. Then she left Ginny where she was standing, and walked to Tony calmly, her footfalls silent. He watched as she moved to grasp his hands in both of hers. He swallowed hard as he felt her touch again. He inhaled sharply, and pursed his lips, trying to fight losing his composure.
"Tony," she said. "Save him."
"Now it's him?" he asked. Then it dawned on him. "Who?" he asked. "H.A? Is...is that who you mean?" he begged. He searched her face for answers, but Pepper slowly began to fade away yet again.
"No," Tony said. "Pepper, please! Just tell me! Is it H.A? Is he going to die, too?"he asked desperately.
"Save him, Tony," is all he could hear before Pepper and Ginny both had faded from sight.