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The next morning, Tony and H.A. went about their routine in virtual silence, as they had most days since Ginny's funeral. Tony watched his son intently as they moved about the kitchen, gathering their breakfasts together, and sitting down at the counter to eat.
"What, dad?" H.A. finally said, with an air of annoyance. "Why do you keep staring at me?"
"Am I staring?" Tony asked, truly not realizing what he'd been doing.
"Like you're waiting for me to explode or something," the boy replied.
Tony chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry, buddy, I just...you sure you're feeling alright?" he asked his son, having noticed dark circles forming under his son's eyes. He'd also noticed that H.A.'s cheeks had become gaunt and his normally olive-toned skin had a distinct pallor that hadn't before there before. Granted, these last few weeks since Ginny's death had been extremely stressful, and he was sure he was looking a little worse for the wear, too.
"Will you stop asking me that? I told you. I'm fine," H.A. insisted now in a huff. He got up hurriedly from the counter, and tromped to the sink to rinse his cereal bowl. He plunked it in the dishwasher and swiveled around on his heel, quickly marching back out of the kitchen. On his way past his father, he was stopped with a gentle hand around his upper arm.
"H.A., stop for a second," Tony said, looking at his son with eyes pleading. H.A. flicked his eyes to his father's, and couldn't help but soften his demeanor in response. His dad looked worn out, and his usual playful spark had been snuffed out by the valley of shadow they'd both found themselves in once again with Ginny's death. Everything H.A. been feeling was reflected back to him in his father's expression at that moment, and it made him wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But he hated the idea of being this vulnerable to his father and the rest of the world, so he just furrowed his brow once more and gritted his teeth again instead.
"You know I'm only asking because I care, right?" Tony asked.
H.A. nodded, but stayed silent.
"And because I want to make sure you're feeling alright. You are aren't you?" Tony asked, with a little trepidation. "I'm just trying to take care of you, son. You're all I have left, now."
H.A. averted his eyes to avoid making eye contact with his father, and losing his composure. "I'm fine, dad," H.A. said softly.
Tony smiled warmly. "Good," he said, standing up, and pulling his son to his chest. "Good. I'm glad," he said. He wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tight. He kissed the top of his head before he let him go. H.A. smiled weakly at him.
"It's been a rough one, huh?" Tony said, putting his hands on H.A's upper arms.
"Yeah," H.A. said. "I kind of...don't wanna be here right now, you know?" he revealed, shrugging.
Tony nodded, studying his son's face. "I know what you mean," he said softly.
"It's like...I keep expecting Ginny to run into my room, like she always did, to bug me," he explained. They both chuckled at the memory. "But then I have to remind myself that she's not going to," H.A continued. "She's never going to. Not anymore."
Tony nodded, and worked his jaw in thought for a moment before replying. "What say you to maybe...getting outta town for a while? Your grandma offered to have us out to her place. Maybe a trip to the farm is just what we need, huh?" he offered.
H.A. shrugged. "Maybe so, dad," he replied.
Tony patted H.A's shoulders. "Then it's settled. We'll leave Friday, and fly out for the weekend. I'll call her today and let her know we're coming," he said.
H.A. smiled and nodded. "Sounds good," he said.
"It does, doesn't it? A little good old fashioned cooking, and some fresh air will probably do us both some good," Tony said, as they turned to leave the kitchen and head out the front door, so H.A. could be dropped off at school.
XxXxXxXxXxXx
"Well, there are my handsome boys! Aren't you two just a pair to beat a full house! Come'ere! Lemme get a look at cha'!" Marilynn Potts cooed loudly in her thick Missouri accent, with her arms opened wide, standing on the front porch of her two story, white-washed farm house in rural Kansas. She'd posted herself there the moment Tony and H.A had arrived in her drive way that next Friday evening, and was absolutely beaming at their presence.
This was the home that Marilynn and Pepper's father had made together when they'd got married, and he'd moved her from Missouri to Two Rivers, Kansas. And it was the home that Pepper had grown up in. She'd always been proud of it, and was happy to share it with Tony when they'd become a couple. He never dreamed he'd like life in the country, but it had quickly grown on him from the first time Pepper had brought him here. And ever since, it had been a little piece of paradise for him to retreat to when the real world got to be too much to handle. He'd even spent a few weeks here right after losing Pepper, and he'd never forgotten how grateful he'd felt to had somewhere to go to help heal his broken heart, and his broken family. Something about its warmth and simple country charm helped him to put life back in perspective, and to know that he was going to make it through the heartache, and be able to be the kind of father his kids needed him to be. Of course, it helped immensely that Marilynn was a very doting mother and grandmother, and loved nothing more than to take good care of her house guests with some good old southern hospitality. You could always count on being supplied with an abundance of stick-to-your-ribs meals, a soft bed to sleep in complete with plenty of warm quilts and afghans, a warm fire in the fireplace in the winter time with a cup of hot cocoa in your hand, or a breeze to cool you in the summer time as you swung on the porch swing with a glass of sweet tea and listened to the wind rustle the leaves on the trees, and all the fresh air you could handle while you were there.
H.A. chuckled and stepped into his grandmother's arms as he made his way up her steps. "Mmmmmm mmmmm! I'm so glad you're here," she told her grandson, her eyes alight with grandmotherly love as she squeezed him tightly. She stepped back and squeezed his upper arms, and then ruffled his thick dark hair. "My Lord. You are getting more and more handsome by the day, sweetie!" she said. "I bet you have all the girls following you around at school, don't you?"
"He does," Tony quipped, as he stepped up onto the porch. "He might take after his dad on that. But he's got Pepper's humility, so he won't admit it," he teased, playfully elbowing his son.
H.A. blushed and looked away, smiling bashfully, and both Marilynn and Tony chuckled.
"And how about you, Mr. Tony?" she said, pulling him to her, and hugging him next. She squeezed him tightly as well, and then pulled back and cupped his cheek with one hand. "You're too thin," she said, patting his cheek. "You need some sleep, and some home cookin'. That's how we fix that," she explained.
Tony smiled. "I knew I could count on you, Marilynn," he assured her.
She nodded. "That's right. And you stay for as long as you need to, honey. I told you that on the phone," she said. She wrapped her arms around both Tony and H.A.'s shoulders, and looked at them. "I'm just so happy to have my two fellas here! I can't tell you how happy I was to hear you were coming to visit!"
Tony and H.A. looked at each other and grinned at her giddiness, their emotional load already being lifted and the sparkle returning to their eyes by being in her presence.
"Now!" Marilynn said, clapping her hands jovially. "Let's get you two settled in and we'll eat! Ya'll must be starving!" she cried, turning around to lead them into the house.
As they entered behind her, they couldn't help but inhale deeply. The intoxicating aroma of homemade pot roast and fresh baked bread wafted through the air, instantly delighting them. "You boys go put your things upstairs, and wash up, and I'll get supper on the table," she instructed. They watched her bustle into the kitchen, and they both looked at each other with broad grins.
"You heard the lady," Tony teased his son, nodding toward the front door. H.A just shook his head and smiled, as Tony held it open for him, and then followed him out to their rental car to retrieve their luggage.
They quickly gathered their things, and marched up the creeky wooden staircase to the bedrooms on the second floor. H.A. took Pepper's sister's old room, and Tony took Pepper's room. He set his suitcase down in the closet and slowly closed the bedroom door, leaning against it and looking around the room silently. A soft smile graced his lips as his eyes settled on a familiar photograph of Pepper from her senior year in high school. It was sitting on top of her dresser in a gold frame, and he'd seen it many times before. But this time, it warmed his heart especially. He raised back up to a standing position again, and walked over to it. He picked up the frame, and looked at it lovingly, admiring the glow of her skin and her warm smile, which made her bright blue eyes sparkle. "Hey, there, gorgeous," he whispered. He lightly smoothed his fingers over the glass, and then raised the picture to his lip to kiss it gently. He looked at it one more time before setting it back down. "So beautiful," he murmured to himself.
Just then, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in!" he said, turning around to see who it was.
The door opened, and H.A. appeared. "Grandma says dinner's on the table now, whenever you're ready to eat," he said.
Tony smirked and chuckled, cocking an eyebrow. "Oh, I was ready yesterday," he joked.
H.A's eyes glanced at the picture on the dresser. "Is that mom?" he asked, coming in the room, and pointing at the photo.
Tony turned around and then nodded at H.A. "Sure is," he said proudly, picking it up once more.
"Wow," H.A said, as they looked at it together, both smiling at it lovingly. "I guess I don't remember ever seeing this picture," H.A. said. "Have you seen it before, Dad?"
Tony nodded and smiled fondly. "Yep. It's one of my favorites," he said. "Wasn't she beautiful?" he asked, shifting his gaze to his son and then back again to the photo.
"She was really pretty," H.A replied, keeping his eyes on his mother. "I forgot that she and Ginny had the same eyes."
"Yeah, they did," Tony said wistfully. He bit his lips together, and put the photo back on the dresser gingerly. "My two beautiful, blue eyed girls," he murmured lovingly. He glanced away, not wanting H.A. to notice the tears welling up in his eyes. He blinked them back and sniffed loudly, and then gave H.A an impish smile. He clapped his arm around his son's shoulders and squeezed him jovially. "So, soup's on, you say?" he asked.
H.A. nodded in reply.
"Really?" Tony purred. "Well, too bad I'm gonna beat you down there!" he said, suddenly darting for the door, and slamming it before H.A could make it through. Tony had already made it to the top of stairs by the time H.A had swung it back open, and he bolted down the hall to catch up, but Tony blocked his way as they both bounded noisily down the steps, with Tony staying in the lead. H.A. made it to the last step just behind his father, and Tony grabbed him around the neck, roughly ruffling the boy's hair.
"See? Told ja' I'd beat ya' down here," he bragged.
H.A. just laughed at his dad's antics. Tony let him go and they gave each other goofy grins.
Just then Marilynn appeared in the door way of the living room, with a white dishtowel in her hands. "Enough acting like a pack of wild elephants, you two. Get your ba-hookies in here, and eat! This pot roast isn't gonna eat itself!" she ordered, grinning.
"Yes, ma'am," Tony said, grinning back at her and giving her a salute. Marilynn laughed, shaking her head, and dismissed Tony's teasing her with a wave of her hand as she marched back in the kitchen. He spun back around to face his son. "Come on. Your grandmother says you need to eat," he said, pulling his son to him with an arm around his shoulder as they started for the kitchen. "You and your ba-hookie, that is."