Luigi and I haven't spoken in months.
Unfavorable details regarding him and the events in Deughm were published into another book by Intelli, titled, "Mario Story: The Black Castle."
Most of the adventure was embellished: the locations were turned into dimensions, and most names were changed into puns, similar to the style of Bella's pun names. Luigi being mind controlled and the abomination made it in. Other things that everyone at Fromnwhen agreed to never mention were in the the book, but that was the most damaging thing that could've been published. Someone couldn't keep their trap shut.
These books aren't from a small business with limited reach, either. These are read to, and by children all over. Intelli's first "Mario Story" book had a fabricated adventure that people still believe happened.
Luigi complained about it over the phone and I got Toadstool to scare Intelli out of producing more of those books, but the damage had been done. He then demanded that I make a statement to deny the bits about brainwashing and the abomination.
Of course, lying isn't an issue, I omit things all the time.
It's the way he demanded it.
I don't care if it's my brother or a deity; no one demands anything from me. People think I'm a pushover. I've refused calls to action because the requesters like I owe them an act of heroism or a good turn, or they think I'm some role-model who can't afford bad press. And then when I refuse, they pull out threats.
He demanded it like I owed it to him. No, he wasn't asking a favor. An outright demand.
When I refused, he threatened to stop talking to me. I hung up and muted his number.
He's tried to call and send emails since then. I don't respond.
Luigi's website is still as normal. There's been nothing about me, which is a good sign. But I'm still avoiding him unless we're in person.
I'm allowed to be petty.
Toadstool hired me as a guard for a royal party, caught me just as I was ready to warp to Diamond city.
It's much bigger and flashier than the last party from a few years back. The servants are straining to keep up with everything. Royals, lords, and entrepreneurs are here from all over. I've been following Toadstool around, disguised as a toad servant. The stubby limbs are annoying, can't even reach for things on tables.
Bowser's approaching, Kamek following overhead. They're easy to pick out because everyone's moving away from them.
As they near, Kamek starts looking around, the old wizard probably detects me.
Toadstool and Bowser start talking kingdom politics as they move along through the crowd, Kamek and I following along.
After a time, Kamek descends until he's level with me.
"Didn't think you to be deceptive," he squawks over the noise of the party.
"Lots of money in it," I say in the most obnoxious toad voice possible.
"You take pay from your monarch? I always thought of you as a pure hero," he mocks.
"Admitted, I'm more a mercenary than a hero."
"Kekekek, so we could've bought you all of those times?" he asks in a light tone.
"I pick favorites."
"A mercenary with favoritism? Absolutely disgusting."
"Mercenary who?" Bowser says, leaning in, Toadstool joins.
I hop with a little punching motion.
He recognizes me. "Oh, I see, I see." He looks over at Toadstool. "Who's the chump?"
She moves in closer and nods towards an old woman wearing a beehive cut and a light blue cocktail dress across the room. We talked about her before the party. She has connections to the occult and necromancy. At least, Toadstool can detect it on her.
Toadstool noticed her pop up at a social gathering a few months ago, and every gathering since. I can't tell anything, but Toadstool's judgement is usually on-point for these sorta things. The current theory is that she's in the market for a new body. Toadstool doesn't need proof to ban her, but can't just ban a person without proof because blah blah reputation.
She's letting her guard down enough for the lady's influence to take hold. If the old lady goes for it, I'll be following Toadstool. When we're out of town, I'll be ready to jump her.
"That old bag? In the dated dress?" Bowser asks, a little more quiet.
Toadstool nods. "Necromancer."
"Oh. That's a real problem. What're ya gonna do about her?"
"I have a plan," she says, nodding at me.
"Ooh, I getcha. But if you want real security, Kamek can turn me into a toad and I'll go instead," he says, all grins.
"You as a toad? Sure. I wanna see you suffer, too," I say.
"Pipe down, pip squeak, your superiors are speaking," Bowser says with a smirk.
"You know what? I think having both of you along would be a great idea," Toadstool hisses.
Bowser, Kamek, and I look at her. Never seen her lose patience this fast.
"This is serious, if you're going to mess around and ruin the ambush, leave."
"Okay, okay, sheesh. Didn't know you could get so snappy... Wait, you're serious about me and pip squeak workin' together here?"
"Yes, rejoin us in an hour," Toadstool orders.
Bowser gives a little mock salute and marches off with Kamek.
I look back to Toadstool, who's now watching the lady in blue.
"You think she can tell you're watching?" I ask.
A finger comes down to my face in a statement of, "Shut up."
How regal.
Turns out, that lady really was a necromancer. Toadstool fell under her influence a few hours after Bowser and Kamek came back as toads. We followed her into the necromancer's car and rode until we were deep in the woods. I rushed the necromancer down into a timely grave, then we snapped Toadstool out of her trance.
It was a fun little stint, now we're melting the car down in a bonfire.
"You actually pulled one over that hag, a real schemer you are" Bowser says.
"I can nip a problem in the bud," Toadstool says.
"Good on ya! Still lookin' for a Prince Charmin'?" Bowser asks, eyebrows wiggling.
"You're not it," she remarks.
"Garsh, Toadstool, you call yourself a princess with that kinda behavior?"
"Hmmpf," Toadstool turns away with a smile on her face.
Bowser turns to me. "And you, you pulled some nasty stuff back there. You slithered into the front seat and burned her face off!"
Toadstool's brow creases.
I was a little brutal with it, but killing her as quickly as possible was the best thing to do.
"She was evil." I shrug.
"You burned her face off?" Toadstool asks with worry, looking around, like she was afraid someone was watching.
"Yes, he did," Kamek affirms, a little disbelief on his creaky voice.
What were we going to do? Let her stay alive? Well, maybe. Actually, Toadstool's plan might've been to get proof to ban her... But opportunities to burn evil faces off are few and far between! Also, why're Bowser and Kamek, of all people, judging me for this? They've maimed and killed people before. Toadstool's paid to prune a few royal lineages, too.
But I guess they've changed in the past few years... A bit softer than before... Maybe age does that.
Alright, enough trying to rationalize whether these horrible people ought to judge horrible acts.
"Don't get the concern here, but I'll let you think the next one went in their sleep."
Toadstool grimaces.
"Woah! Woah! Wait, why didn't you pay him to off me?" Bowser asks.
"I did, but he refused!" she says.
Bowser's not the worst guy; he's more likeable than most monarchs. At least, I found him more likeable after the whole Star Road thing.
Kamek gasps, "Again with the favoritism?! Where is the discipline? You don't go all the way in either direction! Trying to kill you was the wrong move! If I adopted, I could have trained a delightful assassin! Kekekek! Maybe the ruthlessness could have rubbed off on His Softness."
Bowser grabs Kamek by the front of his robes. "Hey! I'm not soft! I just know to cut losses now!"
Kamek squawks, "Losses!?"
Toadstool takes me aside. "That was... too much. You're going out of line. Deughm must have been such a weight on you, but you can't just... do that."
"Do what? Kill a necromancer? She deserved worse than a charcoal facial."
"That! You weren't like this before. I think you need someone to talk to..."
Why trust you? You're my employer, not a friend.
"Ah, sorry, Princess, but I was plannin' a trip before this."
A weird note to end the night on.
Yoshi's been here for a week, so I'm sticking around the house.
It's been a boring few months. Went wandering after that party, but nothing interested me. Toadstool is trying to force me to therapy, which I've been able to avoid until recently, because of Yoshi. The therapists always ask about nonsense like "pressures of stardom" and "expectations." To that, I stay quiet and wait for the clock to go into the next hour.
Now I'm thinking it might be a set up, she could've bribed Yoshi to stick around so I stay in one place.
Anyways, Yoshi's not having the best time here. Usually, he's pretty lax, but the tanuki have been pulling pranks on him.
Told him not to go up the path to the little house, but he did it anyway. He ate the tanukis' food stores, and now he's watching his back. I gave them replacement food, but they seem to insist on a grudge.
Yoshi brought bushels of various fruit from the island, but they're more for him to snack on than they are gifts. Tried to get him to gift the fruit to the tanuki and he hissed at me!
So now he's sulking in the house, and the tanuki are hanging out with me, shapeshifted as me. I'm in a rocking chair while the rest are floating in rocking motions on illusions of rocking chairs. We're all aligned in a row of nine on the porch.
I don't mind participating in their game after that hiss.