Back To You
It was late when Danny got home. The house was mostly dark, but he could see a flickering light. Tentatively, he walked into the living room, unsure of what he would find - and Steve was there. Danny looked at his partner, and Steve looked uneasy, nervous… sorry.
Danny put his hand up. "If you're come back to twist the knife a little further, please don't."
"No!" Steve said quickly, "No, that's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you here, Steve?" Danny asked him sharply. "Why?" Steve tried to speak, but the blonde wouldn't let him. Danny jabbed his finger into his partners chest. "Dammit Steve, I love you" he said, throwing his hands up. Danny's anger came back with a surge. "My entire world gets turned on its head, and I was prepared to give you everything!"
Steve's face fell, he opened his mouth and closed it again before he spoke. His voice was so quiet it was barely a breath. "I know I don't deserve you, but I need you to listen. Please?" Steve's eyes were wide and honest, and his chest was heaving rapid breaths. "Please I need to say this without getting it wrong. I couldn't leave you. I tried, I did, but it got harder to breath every mile I put between us - I couldn't breath." Steve's breathing became labored now. He was taking deep breaths, but it didn't seem to be working. He was almost gasping.
"Steve calm down, please."
Steve pushed the palm of his hand against his ribs, like they hurt. He was gasping. His words were all running together because he was trying to talk too fast, and he wasn't breathing properly. "I never let anyone else really in and… then you came along, and I know it was different from the start."
Danny tried to listen to Steve, but he was breathing too hard, as though he was about to hyperventilate. Steve was having a panic attack. Danny put his hand on his partner's shoulder, and it seemed to help calm him.
"Steve," Danny said his name calmly. "I need you to calm down. Take some deep breaths for me." Steve gulped at the air, and he closed his eyes tight. Danny tried to soothe him, "Babe, it's okay. Just breathe." The blonde took some deep breaths to help regulate Steve's breathing.
Steve nodded and tried to smile. After some deep inhaling, his breathing seemed to steady a little. Then he said, "I'm just so sorry. I fucked it up by leaving you." Steve swallowed hard again and took another deep breath. "It's been so perfect, with you. And I never wanted something so bad."
"What are you trying to say, Steve?"
Steve looked like he was about to be sick. His voice was so quiet, Danny almost didn't hear him. "I'm scared." And from the look in his eyes, the blonde didn't doubt it. His partner looked scared.
Danny wrapped his hand around Steve's neck and pulled his partner's face into his neck. Steve's breathing started to accelerate again, and Danny whispered, "Breathe." And Steve did. His hands went to Danny's waist, fisting into his shirt, and the blonde could feel his partner shaking.
"Steve, you hurt me," Danny told him honestly and the blonde felt Steve's body recoil from his words. Danny held him tighter. "Look at me." He could tell Steve didn't want to, but reluctantly he lifted his head. There was defeat and resignation in his eyes. Danny told him, "It felt like a hole had been punched through my chest."
Steve's eyes closed, "It was never you-" his eyes opened, and he looked into Danny's. "-it was me. I knew I was in love with you too, and it scared me."
His partner's pain was killing Danny, so he held Steve tighter. "So you thought you'd leave me."
Steve nodded, "I'm sorry," he repeated, over and over. "I'm so sorry."
Danny took Steve's face in his hands, "No more apologies." The blonde kissed his partner's cheeks, "Don't ever, ever leave me again," Danny told him, and Steve's eyes opened wide, and they sparkled with disbelief and hope.
"Okay," Steve said shakily.
Danny smiled sadly at his partner. "Next time talk to me."
"Next time? You mean you forgive me?" Steve was almost pleading.
"Of course I forgive you," Danny told him, and Steve exhaled in a huff and smiled. Danny held his partner for the longest time. Steve's breathing was back to normal, so the blonde kissed him, softly, sweetly. Their bodies started to sway, they were dancing almost. And Danny was holding Steve, and he was clutching Danny like he never wanted to let the blonde go.