Chapter 9
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After SpongeBob's shift at the Krusty Krab, he called as many of his friends as he could find.
"Hello. Yes, this is an emergency. We know the real reason behind the new virus. Meet us at the Bikini Bottom Hospital."
(hang up)
Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and even Plankton again, met with SpongeBob and drove to the hospital each wearing a custom-made HAZMAT suit.
Squidward, however, remained as apathetic as ever, actually hoping for the virus to claim him so everyone at his funeral would say that he was a "wonderful member of society" as all mourners are paid to say at funerals to cover up deplorable activity.
As they drove, Patrick and Mrs. Puff asked to be informed of the whole situation.
Krabs said, "Sure, but our experience is copyrighted", pointing to his head, "so I'll have to charge you."
SpongeBob explained instead.
"Dr. Gil Gilliam is the one behind this. He killed a scientist by the name of Walter Bass, stole his design for a human android, and turned it on Plankton. He knew that by deactivating his security cameras, we would all focus on the Krabby Patty recipe and think it was meant to be a plan to thwart him."
"The real reason he stole the cameras is that he would steal Plankton's duplicator, make a replica of it, as well as Bass's laboratory, and the virus and scallop tanks, and make it look like Bass did it."
Mrs. Puff asked him, "So how'd you find out it was the doctor?"
Sandy spoke this time.
"Well, about a month later, a frenzy had begun introducing new pills sent to us by the Barg'n' Mart Pharmacy. After we examined each brand, we found out it was the same content for every pill. That, and all the copyright dates were from this year."
Mr. Krabs' turn was next.
"Finally, SpongeBob noticed something was up when his little sniegel was sick. The doctor answered SpongeBob's call as Bikini Bottom Pet Hospital. Reminds me of when Squidward thought SpongeBob ate a pie that contained a bomb."
(Flashback to 2001)
"Hello, doctor. Hospital. Won't do any good? Eleven times?"
(Flashback ends)
"He masterminded that one, too?"
Krabs nodded yes.
"But why?"
"I guess we'll just ask him when we get there..."
The boat slowly stopped at the hospital.
"...which is right now!"
The team searched the hospital, even down to the basement, but no virus tanks or any other equipment was found.
"Fish-paste!", Krabs shouted. "It seems like we have the wrong place again."
SpongeBob remembered the outside of the hospital.
It had a building shape just to the left of the entrance, but no doors.
He told Plankton to take out his analyzing goggle.
"Hmmmm.", the amoeba hummed as he scanned the exterior of the place.
*beep beep beep beep*
"Yes!", he exclaimed.
"It's right below us, and not only that, but it appears to be activated by touching the letters on the "EMERGENCY" sign."
"Now what kind of password would a terrorist doctor use with the word "emergency"?
Plankton whispered it to Mrs. Puff, who then inflated until she was as big as the lifesaver door.
"Let's see", she rolled toward the respective letters.
"G... E... R... M... Y."
Just like that, the building opened like one big door-hinge, and the gang stepped inside.
.
.
Meanwhile, Dr. Gilliam was already in his lair, having just gotten off his shift, singing and dancing to Krabs' famous song "Money, How I Love Thee."
He went over to the giant virus ball, and talked to it, caressing it in a sensual manner.
"Soon, Bikini Bottom will never know what hit it...", he said, putting on a HAZMAT suit.
"...and the deed will be done!"
The elevator gave off a beeping noise, and Gilliam went to the security camera to see who arrived.
"What the barnacle?"
Yes, the gang had already dropped in to the base, and it was only a matter of time before his plans would be found out.
Just then, the door opened.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't the yellow sponge. What can I do for you down here?"
Sandy stopped him.
"We know your whole plan, Gilliam."
"Really?", the doctor smugly asked. "Take a guess."
Sandy explained.
"You killed my friend Walter, duplicated him and his laboratory, used his plans to build yourself a human android, so you can frame him for the spread of the C.O.V.D. virus."
SpongeBob added, "Then you poisoned my snail, and planted that security camera and The Player's soot inside him, so we would find out it was Bass."
Krabs finished the exposition.
Then you made phony medication, taking advantage of the virus that, once again, you created, knowing full well we'd be in such a mass panic that our brains would just accept anything and you'd be a whole lot richer."
The doctor was impressed, except for the last bit as he let out a chuckle.
"You-you think this is all about money? If that was the case, I would have neutralized this long ago."
Gilliam opened the door to the virus chamber, then took out a scallop whistle, and told everyone to stay still as he removed their suits and dropped a prison cage on them.
He then had his invisible scallops take the cage to a conveyor belt with a wall exactly its size, leading straight to a two-door mechanism like Sandy's tree-dome.
"I might as well tell you since you're all going to die. I plan to unleash the real virus in an unsuspecting time, as soon as everyone 'realizes' it was all a hoax and they go back to their normal lives. I'm just an undercover murderer. And no, I didn't have a traumatic experience as a child or become one of those people who humanity has given up on, I know how humanity actually works.", he proudly grinned.
The doctor then started up the conveyor belt, then rolled a desk with a familiar-looking laptop on it.
"And just to make sure nobody gets any bright ideas about escaping."
Plankton's eye was wide open.
"So this is why they call it trap music.", he thought.
The doctor then pressed a button on his laptop, and a familiar song shot through the speakers.
"...t-t-t-t-tttt-t-t-t-t-yuh-t-t-t-t-tttttt-tt-t-t-dab-king-t-t-t-t-tttt-t-t-t-t-dead-meme-ttttt-t-t..."
"NOT 110 BEATS PER MINUTE!", Sandy screamed.
The team instantly fell into a deep sleep, as Gilliam stood proud.
The doctor didn't realize that Plankton was too small to be seen in the cage, for he was hidden outside the whole time.
He gained control over the song's repetitive drone, and sneaked away to grab the doctor's scallop whistle.
Plankton then disabled the song, and blew an air-horn causing everyone to wake up.
While Gilliam covered his ears because of the noise, Plankton then blew the whistle and the invisible clams stopped the machine.
Finally, Mrs. Puff inflated herself and broke the entire wall, letting everybody out.
"My-my whistle!", the doctor exclaimed.
But it was too late for him. The invisible army was on the good side.
"Attack!", Plankton's whistle sounded.
The clams headed towards the doctor, who grabbed some infared googles stolen from Bass.
"Now who has the upper hand?", he boasted.
He fought off as many scallops as he could, his hand slowly reaching for a lone button.
A gun loaded with ice cream appeared out of a trap-door in the wall.
"You think this is just ice cream?", the doctor said as he was pinned to the wall by the scallops.
"Well, this is loaded with the remnants of Triple Gooberberry Sunrise."
The gun shot out bags of alcohol-laced ice cream, forcing everyone to take cover.
In the midst of all the confusion, Krabs stumbled over and ripped a hole in Gilliam's HAZMAT suit.
He then motioned for SpongeBob to make his way toward the shots as the doctor broke free from his restraints, fighting fin and claw with Krabs.
The sponge absorbed every bit of Triple Gooberberry Sunrise and he became more intoxicated than ever.
Krabs tussle-guided the sadistic physician toward the inebriated SpongeBob, who then fell on him, trapping Gilliam's head in causing him to become drunk as well.
Plankton then tickled SpongeBob using his trusty "Mr. Feather (trademarked)", and Gilliam fell onto the conveyor belt through the hole, Mrs. Puff quickly blocking it.
The machine started up again, the first door opened, then the second, until finally the doctor was sealed inside the impenetrable virus sphere.
"Look away, y'all! Look away!", Sandy motioned.
Gilliam's already-stoned self began wheezing uncontrollably as the virus entered his nervous system, then his skin turned a sickly color as his body convulsed involuntarily.
A few minutes of covering their ears, and the pale doctor gave out one last rattle before losing consciousness completely.
In short, Dr. Gil Gilliam was dead. His reign of terror and puppetry was over.
The team turned around and noticed SpongeBob was also unconscious from his Triple Gooberberry Sunrise bender, and called Dr. Forrest (the doctor from All That Glitters).
After SpongeBob was rushed to the ICU, the rest of the gang looked around for a vaccine.
They eventually found one and put it on the machine as it made its way toward the chamber.
The vaccine was so powerful it turned the sphere a green minty color, and all was well once more.
Now all that was left was to wait for SpongeBob's sobriety.