It's 7:30am on the morning of her graduation and Kate's been awake since 6:00, nervous energy making it too hard to sleep any longer. She needs to keep herself busy, give her fidgety hands something to work with.
She starts on her makeup, takes her time to make it look as good as she can; she's used to being dolled up for the club, but this is different, more important. Pictures are no doubt going to be taken, both on stage and afterwards, and she wants them to be presentable. You only get one shot to take graduation photos.
Makeup complete to her liking, she moves onto her hair. She considers keeping it straight but decides to stick with familiarity; most days her hair is curled into loose waves that fall over her shoulders, so why should today be any different? It's how she's most comfortable. And so she grabs the curler from the cabinet below the sink and waits for it to heat up before beginning.
It takes about half an hour to get it right, but when she finishes she looks at her reflection in the mirror with a soft smile.
She's already eaten and gone about her morning routine, so she's left with one last task: getting dressed.
Padding into the bedroom once more, she pulls the dress from her closet. Her fingers brush against the fabric, the corners of her lips tugging upwards even as she gets the urge to roll her eyes. It's the white one she had tried on two weeks ago when she went dress shopping with Alexis, the one the girl had picked out for her. A few days after their shopping trip, she'd gone over to the loft and Rick told her he had a graduation present for her.
"It's not my graduation yet," she'd said, pointed out that there was still a week and a half to go.
He'd shrugged. "An early present never hurt anybody."
After a moments hesitation she had relented, accepted the rectangular, decoratively wrapped gift from his hands. She'd plucked the bow from the top and kept it off to the side, moved to the lace ribbon detailing.
Peeling the top of the box away, she'd paused, her mouth falling open as she stared down at the white cocktail-inspired dress she'd tried on only days ago.
"Rick..."
"Alexis may have told me how beautiful you looked in it, and how perfect it'd be for your graduation."
"This is... it's too much," she'd told him, letting her hands rest on the tissue paper covering the fabric. She remembered how expensive it was, and though it's no secret he has money, it's still—well, too much.
"Of course it's not."
She'd shaken her head. "Rick, you've already done so much for me—you didn't have to do anything else. And I have other dresses that would work just fine."
He'd nodded. "I'm sure you do. But Alexis told me how you looked at that dress before even trying it on, Kate. You obviously love it, and what better occasion to wear it than your graduation? Besides, this is a huge milestone, and you should be proud."
"I am proud," she'd countered.
"Then treat yourself."
"This would be you treating me," she'd pointed out, raising a brow. "Not me treating myself."
He'd waved a hand around. "Okay, semantics. Gift giving is one of my favorite things in the world, you know; you wouldn't take that away, would you?"
Oh, damn him and his puppy dog face.
"Fine," she'd finally relented, glancing down at the dress once more, allowing herself to unwrap the tissue paper and run her fingers along the dress. She'd looked up at him, a grateful smile on her face, her eyes soft. "Thank you, Rick."
His beaming grin was all she'd needed to know she made the right decision.
Laying it out on her bed now, she bends to grab the heels from the floor of the closet. They're simple black heels; she's not sure how long she'll be in them, standing and sitting, walking around, so she wants to be comfortable.
Once she has everything laid out, she slides out of her pajamas and slips into the dress, breathing a sigh of relief when the zipper closes easily and she feels comfortably snug in the clingy material. Stepping into the heels, she smooths her palms down the front of the dress one last time before walking over to the full length mirror. She take in her appearance, turns from one side to the other to make sure everything looks good, and then takes a deep breath.
She's really here right now.
After one hell of a year, change after change in her personal and professional life, she's here. Standing in her bedroom mere hours before she'll be standing on stage at her college graduation. If someone had told her twelve month ago that this would be happening, that she would be out of the club and into a job with a nice boss, on the brink of a relationship with a man with kind eyes and an even kinder heart—she'd have laughed.
Straight up laughed, rolled her eyes, and continued to down a shot of tequila for liquid courage before her set.
Nodding to herself, she's proud. She's come a long way; not without help, of course, but she made it.
It's 8:30 now, and she's expected to be on campus by 9:00, 9:30 at the absolute latest. The ceremony is supposed to start at 10:00, though she knows they'll probably be running a bit late. They usually are.
She leaves around 8:45 to give herself a little extra time. She takes a cab instead of the subway, opting not to take a chance with whatever grime is covering the seats today. Her white dress needs to remain white.
It's a little after 9:00 when she arrives, cramming herself into the building with the rest of her fellow graduates. There are staff members going around to make sure everyone's okay; making sure their caps are on, secured by bobby pins if necessary, their gowns are okay, and their hoods are done correctly. They ensure they're pinned down in the front so they don't move and strangle anyone when they take their seat. It's the hoods that appear to be tripping everyone up most.
She's not entirely sure how it's supposed to be worn, either, honestly. No one's sure just how far the back should be turned inside out, how much of the colors should be peeking through the black.
But a woman comes and fixes it for her and in minutes she's ready. Gown on, cap secured, hood corrected, tassel attached.
Her phone buzzes against her hip where she has it tucked in an outside pouch of her purse. They can't keep their bags in the room since there are far too many people, and they aren't locking the door, so she decides to put her purse over her shoulder and zip it inside her gown instead. It's small and unnoticeable, and she can easily shimmy it down her body once she's at her seat, tuck it beneath her feet.
We're here, the text says, and she grins. Alexis is so excited she's practically jumping on the spot.
Kate chuckles. That makes two of us. I'll see you guys after the ceremony.
Washington Square Park arches?
Perfect, she confirms.
Trying to find them in the sea of people that'll be crowding their immediate vicinity would be far too complicated.
They line up, each in their designated spots as the ushers begin to signal that they'll be moving in a few moments. She hears music playing as they begin to process out and her heart beats harshly against her ribs. It's excitement, nerves and adrenaline all rolled into one.
Families are seated, lined for as far as she can see; hundreds of faces watching as the class makes their way to their own seats, following the head of each department holding giant flags, designs indicating what school they're from. She trails diligently behind the professor branding the NYU School of Law flag.
The ceremony itself seems to drag on, though she's positive it only seems to pass slowly because of the heat. She's immensely glad she's wearing a white dress, which relieves her of some of the sweltering, though the black gown continues to absorb most of the heat.
The president speaks, as does the individual chosen to give the commencement address, and the class president makes a speech of their own.
Finally, after what feels like ages, they begin the degree process. They're called up to the stage by schools, and in alphabetical order they're lead across the stage to receive their degrees, their honors read aloud as well.
When it's Kate's turn, it feels surreal.
"Katherine Houghton Beckett, cum laude, departmental honors," the speaker reads, and she takes a deep breath as she takes the first step.
She glides across the stage, stops to take a photo with the dean of her school and then again with the president, each time holding her degree in hand. As she steps off the stage, the rush over, she can't help the splitting grin that claims her face as she flips her tassel to the left side.
The rest of the ceremony is a blur of names and applause, and before she knows it it's over. Closing remarks are read, caps are thrown, and there's a deafening round of cheers that she can't help but join in.
She's done. She's a graduate. She's happy.
She's Katherine Beckett, BA.
With a grin and a bounce in her step, she files out with the rest of her class, processes out to their school's anthem and through the honor guard of professors waiting for them at the end.
She sticks around for fifteen minutes, says goodbye to a few of the professors who've helped her most along the way, and hugs and congratulates the few friends she's really kept in touch with the whole time.
On my way, she texts Rick after.
Tugging her cap from her hair, running a hand through her curls, she makes her way towards Washington Square Park.
It would seem they aren't the only ones with the idea to forgo the campus to meet up in the park, and so she squeezes around clusters of families in search of Rick and Alexis. Lucky for her the young girl's hair is hard to miss, and it only takes a few minutes to spot her at the far end of the fountain.
They're looking around for her too, their backs to her, and so she takes the opportunity to sneak up on them.
She puts a hand on each of their shoulders. "Boo," she says, reveling in the jump she gets from both of them as they spin around.
"Kate," Rick laughs, pulling her in for a hug. "Congratulations! You did it."
"I know, it's crazy," she breathes once they pull apart. She looks to Alexis next, who wraps her arms around her torso. "Hi, Alexis. You look very pretty."
Alexis grins, tugging at the fabric of her red dress. "Thanks! You look beautiful, Kate."
"Thank you," she echoes, a smile on her face. "All thanks to someone for being sneaky." She trails her gaze between both Castles, who don't look even the slightest bit remorseful about their trickery.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. This beauty is all you."
Her cheeks heat up as she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. After a moment, she notices Alexis looking up at Rick with a look on her face; the girl's hopping in place, and she knows she's excited but this is... different. Rick's eyes widen at his daughter, a sign to keep cool, and Kate puts her hands on her hips. Okay. Something's up.
"All right, what's going on?" she asks, brow raised. Rick looks to her with a nervous smile. "Why do you look like that?"
"Hey—"
"You know what I mean," she interrupts. "You look all..." She waves a hand, gestures to his general disposition. "Nervous. Guilty. What'd you do?"
He takes a breath. "Okay, don't be mad." She's not entirely sure she likes where this is heading. "I kind of..." His voice trails off but he looks off to somewhere behind her, gives a small smile, and nods.
Confusion shows in the furrow of her brows as she turns around, curious as to who he's talking to, but she stops in her tracks seconds later. Her eyes wide, face frozen with her mouth hanging open, disbelief written in each line of her face.
"Dad?" Her voice is barely above a whisper as she stares at the man in front of her, clean shaven, eyes clear, a hesitant smile on his face.
"Hi, Katie," he says, voice breaking around her name.
It takes all of five seconds before she finally does something, moves from where she's rooted on the cement and wraps her arms around him. It's been so long since she's seen her father in person—since he'd been admitted into rehab—and though she's talked to him on the phone, hearing his voice in person... it's different. So much better.
"How are you... when did you...?" She's not even sure where to start.
Her father chuckles, pulls back. "Rick," he starts, and she looks over her shoulder at the man in question, tears in her eyes but an awed grin on her face, "he called. Told me when the graduation was."
"I thought you couldn't get out?" she asks, because she had called him. She did tell him she was graduating soon, but he'd said he wasn't sure he'd be able to leave the facility.
His lips twist into a smirk and oh, he tricked her. "That may have been a half-truth," he tells her. "I did have to get a day trip approved, but it went rather smoothly. They're pleased with my progress and I cause no trouble, so..."
"So you were allowed to be released," she surmises.
Jim nods. "Yes. And I wanted to surprise you; I hope you're not upset, Katie."
She laughs at that, throws her arms around him again in another brief hug. "Upset? You're here. I couldn't be happier, Dad."
"I'm so proud of you," he breathes into her hair. "Your mom would be so incredibly proud of you, too."
"Thanks," she whispers back, swiping beneath her eyes as they pull apart. It's only then she notices the bouquet of flowers in his hands. "Oh."
Jim smiles. "For my graduate." She takes the bouquet and lifts the tips to her nose, inhales the sweet smell of the various flowers. Holding them protectively to her chest she turns around, widens their circle so she's now facing Rick and Alexis and her father is beside her.
She shakes her head, looks at Rick. "You."
Shrugging, he smiles. "I know how much you wanted him to be here, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to give a little call. See if I could get it all into place."
Narrowing the gap between the two of them, she doesn't hesitate before leaning on her tiptoes and pressing her mouth to his, one hand on his shoulder and the other resting lightly on his cheek.
When she pulls back, she rests her forehead against his for a moment. "Thank you, Rick," she breathes. "This is—thank you."
He clears his throat as she puts space between them once more. "Of course; always."
She ignores her dad's pointed smirk, the brightness in his eyes she can see in her peripheral vision.
"And thank you, Alexis. I know you had something to do with this," she says, turning her attention to the little girl who looks like she's about to burst.
Alexis grins happily. "I helped him make the phone call."
The adults laugh. "You did a very good job," Kate says, squeezing her shoulder. Standing back up, she looks between the three of them. "So, who's up for some lunch? I'm starving."
They all raise their hands, and together the trio makes their way from Washington Square Park to find somewhere to fill their stomachs.
Taking a cab to Remy's seems to be the only logical choice once she starts thinking about the milkshakes, the burgers. Everyone nods in agreement, and fifteen minutes later they're seated in a corner booth looking over menu options.
They all get burgers (because it's not really a Remy's trip if there aren't burgers involved) and Kate and Alexis get milkshakes, chocolate and strawberry respectively, while Rick and her dad opt for cokes.
"To Kate, our favorite college grad," Rick says, holding his glass up. She rolls her eyes but laughs along, clinks her milkshake with everyone's glasses. "May the next chapter of your book be just as wonderful as you are."
She ducks her head, lets the curtain of her hair mask the slight pink rushing to her cheeks. "Thank you," she says a moment later, lifting her eyes to his. "And to all of us, here. Together."
Jim smiles at his daughter across the table. "I'll cheers to that."
Their food arrives fairly quickly, and her stomach rumbles at the sight of the tray. Rick laughs and she kicks at his feet beneath the table. They alternate between talking and chewing, stretches of silence covering the table as soon as they all dig in.
"I can see you, you know," Alexis says, peering up at her father. She catches him mid-french fry heist. "You're not stealthy, Daddy."
Kate snorts and Rick gapes. "I am plenty stealthy!"
"You're really not, Rick."
He goes to open his mouth once more, but Jim places a hand on his shoulder, shakes his head. "Quit while you're behind, son. You won't win."
Rick's shoulders deflate but he nods, exhales a dramatic sigh. "Fine. But I know I am plenty stealthy."
"I'm sure you are," Jim placates, winking over at the girls.
Kate feels lighter than she has in a long time; she hadn't realized how much she missed having her dad around. She never really let herself stop to think about it, knowing if she did she'd only make herself more upset, deepen her own spiral. But being with him right now, here at Remy's as he sits across from her looking more clear to her than he has in years, her heart lifts.
This is exactly what she hoped today would be.
"We'll give you some privacy," Rick says, tugging Alexis away from the father-daughter duo. "Come on, Pumpkin."
With them out of sight, she turns back to her dad. They've spent the day together, and now they're back at the rehab facility, standing in front of the entrance. She wishes she didn't have to leave him here, but now she knows he's doing so much better because of this place. Now she doesn't have to worry about what she'll find when she visits; now she knows she can visit.
"I couldn't be more proud of you, Katie," her father says, smiling at her. "I wish I could say it a million times. I know—I know I haven't made things easier for you, after your mom."
"Dad, you don't have to..."
He shakes his head. "I do. Please." She nods slowly. "I didn't make it easy for you. I was so caught up in losing my wife, in drowning it all in the bottle, that I didn't stop to think that you lost your mother, too. I wasn't there for you when you needed me, and I'm sorry for that."
Kate bites at the inside of her cheek, tries to blink back tears.
"Sorry doesn't make up for the missed time, but from here on out I'm going to try. I made it more difficult for you, made it as if you had lost two parents, but you still came out on top. Look at you—" His face breaks into a beaming grin. "My little girl, a college graduate. I'm so proud."
"I love you, Dad," she whispers, burying her face into his neck. He wraps his arms around her back, tightens his hold.
"I love you too." When they pull apart, he's still smiling. "And I... hope you won't be too opposed to seeing more of me."
She shakes her head immediately. "No, Dad, I'm sorry I didn't visit before, I was just—I was scared, but I'll be visiting as often as I can. Don't worry," she promises, a hand on his shoulder.
"Actually," he starts, and she scrunches her brows together, "I have a surprise."
Kate huffs. "A bigger surprise than you showing up at my graduation?"
"I'm set for early release in two weeks."
Her face lights up, mouth dropping open in surprise. "I—really?" When he nods, she covers her mouth with her hands. "Dad, that's incredible. I'm so proud of you!"
"Thank you, Katie. I'm proud of myself, too."
They spend a few more minutes together, going over a couple of things—Kate insists she be the one to come get him when he's released—before they part ways with one last hug.
Later that night, after dinner and after Alexis is tucked into bed, Kate slumps onto Rick's couch. They'd decided to come back here after spending the day in the city; Rick insisted on making a special congratulatory dinner, despite her assurances that anything would be perfectly fine.
"Tired?" he asks, taking a seat beside her.
She huffs, turns her head towards him. "Yeah. Long day. Good day, amazing day, but long."
"I think you've earned some rest. Four years of it, to be exact."
Kate rolls her eyes. "Wasn't four straight years."
"Doesn't matter—four years of undergrad is now under your belt, Kate. Still adds up to the same amount." She concedes with a hum. "I'm so proud of you."
She smiles. "I know. And a lot of this is thanks to you, you know."
Rick shakes his head. "No, this is all you," he tells her, grabbing one of her hands in his own. "All I did was offer some support. I wouldn't have been able to help you at all if you didn't want to be helped in the first plate, Kate. This was all you. I was here for the ride, rooting for you and offering assistance when I could, but all of that tedious grunt work? All you."
"Yeah," she confirms. It's true, someone can't be helped unless they want to change themselves, but without his help she wouldn't have gotten off the ground. He's so much more than a friend to her; she's known this for a while, through all of the innuendo and sweet gestures and love. "But you still helped a lot. And for that, thank you. I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to repay you, but I'm going to try."
"No repayment necessary."
Kate hums. "I don't know, I think I have a pretty good first installment in mind," she murmurs, inching closer. It's now or never, shes tells herself.
She watches him watch her, his eyes a fraction wider than normal, his throat bobbing as he swallows. Leaning over him, her knees brushing against his thighs, she flips her hair so it falls onto one side. Her hand comes to cradle his cheek, thumb caressing the soft skin it finds.
Slowly, she begins to close the space between them. She keeps her eyes locked on his, watches for any signs of uncertainty, but when she finds none and one hand come to brace itself on her hip, she grins, closes the gap as she slants her lips over his. His other hand moves, finds purchase in her curls, and she grins into the kiss.
They've kissed before, sure, but nothing past brief pecks. This is the first real kiss.
It's everything she thought it'd be.
When they finally pull apart, a little breathless, she traps her bottom lip between her teeth, looks down at him from beneath her lashes. He's staring up at her, chest heaving with his breaths but a smile on his face.
"I'd uh, I'd say that's more than sufficient payment, yeah," he starts with an amused huff, brushing his fingers down her forearm. She chuckles. "So, Kate... what would you say if I wanted to take you out on a date?"
She looks up at the ceiling, pretends to mull it over. "Hmm. I'd say I've been wondering when you were going to ask," she replies cheekily, tongue peeking from between her teeth.
Rick laughs. "Is that so?" She nods. "I could also say I've been wondering when I was going to ask," he admits, and she smiles. "So... what was this, then? A little nudge?"
Kate smirks, gives a small lift of her shoulder. "I got tired of waiting."
He leans up, presses another kiss to her lips in response.
"Happy graduation day, Kate."
Happy graduation day, indeed.
A/N: Sometimes you don't write a word for months and sometimes you write 4k+ words in an hour and a half. Inspiration is a funny thing.
This chapter is inspired partly by my own graduation a few months ago; I didn't graduate from NYU, which is a much larger university than mine, so I'm sure there are some discrepancies in how the ceremonies are held, but I hope I did it justice with what I do know about graduations in general.
As you can probably tell with this update, I've decided to post the chapters as I write them. It feels unfair to sit on finished chapters when I know how spotty my updates on this story are.
Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement. I hope you enjoy wherever this ride takes us.