The summer seems to fly by, week by week, month by month, and before she knows it Christmas is right around the corner. The heatwaves give way to frigid air and snow that falls from the sky, dances under street lights and covers everything in its path in a blanket of white.

The holiday season is still hard for her, not-so-old wounds still fresh, reopening with each smell of fresh baked cookies, each store window filled with Christmas decorations. It's the first in the past few years she won't be alone, though, and it's almost too much.

She doesn't realize how all out the Castle household goes for Christmas until she's in the loft, watching as Rick unpacks box upon box of decorations. Ornaments, wreaths, lights in every color imaginable, Santa and reindeer figurines. You name it, he's probably pulling it out of one of these boxes.

All she can do while he starts piling ornaments onto the tree is sit on the couch, legs crossed. She doesn't want to be a downer; she's trying to be better at this, trying to put on a brave face and reintegrate herself into the world of holiday cheer.

It's a little easier with their infectious joy; Alexis is beaming at her, pure happiness radiating from her small body, and despite the sadness, it's damn near impossible not to reciprocate that smile. And Rick, bless him, he knows the season is hard for her, and so he's not pushing it. He's not forcing her to participate, lets her choose what to help out with and what she feels she needs to sit out.

And that helps.

Knowing it's all on her, that there's no pressure to suddenly be the poster child for Christmas, it's calming.

And when Alexis comes in with a bowl of popcorn, says they're going to make a string of popcorn garland, Kate grins and says she'd love to help.

"Great," Alexis squeals, plopping down beside her on the couch. She places the bowl in between the two of them. "All you have to do is string the popcorn through the garland and then we'll make it huge so it'll fit around the entire tree!"

"Sounds perfect. I'm sure it'll come out really nicely," she says. She grabs a handful of popcorn, drops it into her lap, and takes piece by piece to construct her end of the garland.

Rick smiles from where he stands behind the tree. "This tree is gonna be beautiful, Pumpkin."

"I think so too!" The girl bounces on the couch. "After we finish with the tree, can Kate stay and watch Home Alone with us?"

"I don't know, Alexis, that's up to Kate."

The redhead turns to her, hope brimming in her piercing blue eyes. "Can you, Kate? It's a tradition. And daddy makes the best hot chocolate to go with the movie!"

Rick laughs. "I can vouch for the hot chocolate. It is five star worthy, if I do say so myself."

She rolls her eyes at him, but pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. Should she? Staying and helping them decorate the loft is already a pretty big step for someone who's had an aversion to the entire holiday season for the past few years; she's not sure if she's ready for a quaint, quiet night in with a Christmas movie.

But then she looks to Rick, who conveys with his eyes and a small nod that it's okay, that she's not obligated to stay. And to Alexis, who doesn't look very expectant but just as though she really wants her to hang around. She realizes then what this is—Alexis is inviting her into their tradition, one that's generally just her and her father. She's asking Kate to stay and join them for this annual movie and hot chocolate event, and though it may not seem like much, she knows enough not to take it for granted.

She's been around more often, ever since she and Rick started dating, and Alexis has been over the moon about the development. But still, she's made sure to give the father daughter duo plenty of time to be alone together.

Gaze trailing between them, she finds herself wanting to be able to stay. If nothing else, she can try.

"Sure, Alexis," she says finally, her head nodding. "I'd love to."

When the movie finishes, Alexis is asleep at one end of the couch, her head lolled against the armrest. Rick sits between the two of them and as the credits roll, he stands, moves to pick up his sleeping kid. He won't be able to do this for much longer, but for now he can just manage.

"I'll be right back," he says. Kate nods, allows herself to fall further back into the couch.

It wasn't as hard as she thought it'd be, staying through the movie. They were quiet for the most part, save for Rick's interjections and occasional commentary, followed each time by Alexis's shushing.

Truth be told, they make it easier.

It's still hard, and she's not going to wake up one day forgetting everything that's happened this time of year and suddenly love Christmas again, but she can start by liking it. By appreciating it, and the pure joy it brings to other people.

She called her father this morning, made sure he was still doing okay. Christmas is in a few days and they'll be spending it together for the first time in far too long, and she's proud of how well he's been handling being out of rehab.

"You all right there?" Rick's voice startles her, has her clutching at her chest. "Sorry," he chuckles. "You looked deep in thought. Anything good?"

Kate shrugs. "Just thinking."

"Should I be worried?"

Huffing, she nudges his shoulder with hers. "No. Nothing bad, just—thinking about how lucky I am. For you, Alexis."

"I'd say we're the lucky ones," he counters, leaning into her. She allows herself to sink deeper into his embrace, rests her head against his chest.

"I'm serious. Do you know how I usually spend Christmas?" His head shakes. "At the club. Working all night for holiday bonuses. Drowning myself in vodka between sets to make myself forget; forget that my mom was gone, that my dad was stuck at the bottom of a bottle, that I was working in that strip club. To forget the feeling of their hands on my skin."

"Kate..."

She shakes her head against him. "It's history," she says simply. "I'm just trying to... I don't do the holidays. You know it's rough, but that's been my Christmas for the past few years. So all of this," she gestures around at the wonderland of his loft, "it's a change, but you're helping me to come around to it again, to re-learn how a real Christmas is supposed to be."

Rick shifts so he can press a kiss to the crown of her head. "I know you won't be Miss Christmas anytime soon, but I'm honored to be able to get you to see the spirit of it again. And if either of us go too far out, just let me know."

"I'm not going to make you tame down your holiday glee for me, Rick."

"That's not what it is," he insists. She gives him a skeptical raise of the brow. "This household gets a little... crazy, I'll admit, and that's a lot for someone who hasn't really celebrated in a while. It's just like we wouldn't have an open bar set out if your dad came over—it's not taming anything, it's just adjusting. We don't want anyone to be uncomfortable, Kate."

A small smile tugs at her lips. This sweet, sweet man.

"Thank you," she murmurs, burrowing deeper into his body.

On December 22nd, Rick calls and says he has something to ask her. Her stomach twists when he says he's not sure how she'll respond, but she forces herself to relax.

"How would you feel about coming and spending Christmas at the loft?"

She had a sinking suspicion he would be asking this at some point; he hadn't thus far, and she assumes it's because he was giving her space to acclimate to the holiday cheer, but she can't say she's too surprised by the offer.

"I'm spending it with my dad."

It's not a decline, but it's not an acceptance either. More of a statement.

Rick doesn't miss a beat. "He's more than welcome to come too," he promises, and she takes a seat on her couch, phone pressed to her ear. "If you'd like to spend it just the two of you, I completely understand. I know it's his first out of rehab. Just know the offer stands for the both of you."

Kate takes a breath, worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

She's about to open her mouth, politely decline and say she really should spend it with her father, but she closes her mouth, pauses. As it stands, she's supposed to spend the holiday with her dad at their cabin; it didn't occur to her that neither of them have been to the cabin since he's gotten out of rehab. There are probably still bottles in the cabinets, plus whatever ones she knows he has hidden around the place.

Maybe being alone up there wouldn't be the best idea. At least, not until they can clear it out.

Maybe having a few other people around, in a new space where there are no memories of past Christmases would be good for him. For her, too; for the both of them. A fresh start.

"I'll have to talk to him about it," she decides, nodding to herself, "but I think that would be... nice."

"Really?" Kate chuckles at the obvious surprise in his voice, mumbles an affirmative. "Great—just let me know what he says. Mother will be there too, and we'd all love for you guys to be there."

She promises to talk it over with her dad and get back to him.

It's more like long strides as opposed to the baby steps she promised herself she'd take to get back into the swing of things, but something in her gut tells her it'll be okay.

"Katie, you can stop fidgeting."

She grumbles at the amusement in her father's voice, the little nudge he gives her. "I'm not..." His eyes fall to where her hands are tucked against her stomach, and she forces them to still. Okay, so she's fidgeting. But it's the first time she and her father are going to be a part of some kind of holiday festivities since her mom's death. "I'm just a little nervous."

Jim gently grabs at her wrist, stops her before she can knock. "About what?" She gives him a look. "It'll be okay, you know."

Funny how he's the one telling her this now; usually it's the other way around, a mantra she drills into her own head to get through.

"I just don't want this to be too much too fast. I mean, you've only been out for a few months, and what if this is going to be a lot for you? Maybe we should just go back to my apartment, tell Rick we couldn't make—"

"Katie," her father cuts her off, tips her chin up. "Stop. I know you're worried about me and I know you have good reason to. I haven't been that great at giving you reasons to think otherwise, but I'm okay. I'll always have to be careful and watch myself, but that doesn't mean you have to treat me with kid gloves. You don't have to be the parent anymore, and I'm sorry I ever made you feel as though you had to be in the first place."

Kate's lips curl upwards as she blinks back the glassiness in her eyes. "I just don't want anything to happen again."

"I know," he promises, fingers curling around hers. "And I can't promise there won't be bumps in the road, but I'm in this for the long haul. We'll be okay."

For the first time in a long time, she thinks they will be too.

It's been... really good, having her father out of the rehab center for the past few months. He's been doing surprisingly well, keeping his promises and staying away from any temptations, but it's a habit to worry. To wonder if today's going to be the day he falls off again.

She supposes the longer he's out, the longer he's sober, the less she'll worry.

"Yeah," she agrees with an exhale. "Okay. Shall we?"

Jim smiles. "Please."

Not thirty seconds after she finally knocks does she hear a shuffling, the sound of footsteps approaching. The door swings open and reveals Alexis on the other side, beaming at the father-daughter duo.

"You made it!" she smiles, throwing herself around Kate's middle. "Merry Christmas, Kate!" Pulling back, she looks shyly up at Jim. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Beckett."

"Merry Christmas, Alexis," they echo, moving into the loft.

Kate barely has time to hang both of their coats up by the door before the girl is pulling her through the foyer and into the living room where her father and grandmother are seated.

Rick grins as he stands, slanting his mouth over hers in greeting. "I'm glad you came. You look beautiful."

Her cheeks flush. "Thanks," she says, smirking up at him. "You look pretty dapper yourself."

Martha comes over with a quick greeting, a tight hug, and then she whisks Jim away with a flourish.

"Should I be worried?"

"He'll be fine I'm sure," Rick laughs, giving his mother a look. "She won't bite."

Kate chuckles at the surprised look on her father's face, but then it gives way to a genuine smile and she relaxes.

The evening plays out as well as she could have hoped. Castle's made a wonderful dinner for all of them and she's hasn't seen her father laugh as much as he has tonight in far too long. She's missed it, how carefree he used to be, how humorous.

Rick's mother may be a lot to take in at first, but her exuberance, her pizzazz, is good for him.

Martha offers to stick to water for the night, but Jim insists she not hold back on his account. Kate worries the presence of alcohol will spur something on, but it doesn't; her father drinks his coffee, converses with everybody just as he normally would, and that's that.

When it's time to exchange gifts, they all gather in the living room. Rick and Alexis situate themselves on the floor, while the remaining three adults take a seat on the couch, just beside them.

It may have been a while since she's celebrated, but she certainly wasn't going to come empty-handed. She owes a lot to Rick, to this thing they all have going, even if he insists she owes him nothing, and there was no way she wouldn't have gotten them gifts.

Kate gets Alexis a new journal and a cute little sweater, Martha a pendant bracelet, and Rick—well, she gives him a photograph, but the second part of her present will have to be revealed privately. Later, another night when she stays over and her father isn't with her.

"Is this a young Kate Beckett?" he teases, beaming down at the photo she'd wrapped in tissue paper.

She nods. "I was 19, about a year before we met."

He spends a few more seconds really looking at the photo before it hits him. "This is my book signing."

"Yeah."

"You're holding my book."

"I am."

Rick's eyes fly to hers. "Why didn't you ever tell me you'd gone to one of my signings before?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "Didn't seem like the right time. I wasn't in a good place."

He doesn't say anything, doesn't point out that she wasn't exactly in the best place when they'd met either, but he just nods, knows her father isn't privy to the job she'd held while he was still in the rehab center.

"Do you still have the book I signed?" Kate nods. "Can I see it sometime?"

"Sure," she smiles.

She'll tell him another time how his book helped her feel closer to her mother in the immediate aftermath of her death, how the stories he told made her feel even the slightest bit of hope on the darker days.

She (and her father, to both of their surprise) gets a drawing from Alexis, a flurry of stick figures and snowmen displaying a lovely winter scenery. The girl nods shyly when her father thanks her, and then complies when Kate opens her arms for a hug.

When all is said and done, Alexis ushered into her pajamas despite grumbling that she wants to stay and hang out, the adults remain in the living room. Quiet chatter settles over the four of them, a comfortable atmosphere as the snow continues to fall outside.

"We should get going," Kate finally says around 10:00, knowing her father has a meeting in the morning.

Standing, she stretches her arms above her head and hovers for a few moments while her father does the same. She hears him thanking Martha and Rick for having them.

"Our pleasure," Rick promises, patting him on the back. "You're both more than welcome here."

"Yes, please take advantage. It's wonderful having another parent around."

"I am a parent you know, Mother. Your granddaughter is upstairs."

Martha waves a dismissive hand, tuts. "You know what I mean, darling. An older parent." She ignores her son's huff and turns to Jim. "It was lovely to see you, Jim."

"And you, Martha," her father smiles.

Kate says her goodbyes while her father moves to the entryway, grabbing their coats. Rick pulls her into his chest after Martha has bid her farewell and retired upstairs to the guest room.

"I really enjoyed having you here. Your dad too," he murmurs into her hair. "I hope it wasn't too much."

She shakes her head against his chest. "I thought it might, but it went smoothly. He hasn't been this happy in a while. Martha's a wonder," she chuckles. "And I know he enjoyed spending time with you and Alexis, too."

"I'm so glad." He finally pulls apart, hands still resting on her shoulder for a moment. "I'll talk to you later?"

Kate grins. "Later," she promises. "You still have half a present to collect."

And with that she leaves him standing in the living room, mouth open as she smirks over her shoulder. He responds with an amused shake of his head, and she gives him one last wave before following her dad out of the loft.

A/N: [Taps microphone] Anyone still out there? I feel like a broken record saying this, but despite the long waits I am finishing this story. It's been giving me some trouble, but I'm doing what I can to get it out.

Thank you all so much for bearing with me, I really appreciate it. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrate!