Ch 14 | Fidelity

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I´m here again with a new chapter, a little more spicy :3! (Yes is a longer chapter)

I loved your reviews please keep writing them!

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Coast Region.

Makoto delayed her visit to her father the most she could, she didn't really know what to say to him, she didn't even know if he remembered the entire issue. Her mother said he was getting worse at an alarming speed.

She picked a good old wine for him and went to his studio, where he spent most of his time when in his lucid times. Nothing had changed since her departure, but then it hasn't been that long after all… a couple months have been like years to her.

Her father didn't know anything about the bad tone of her relationship, even when he was fine. He was surprised she was here alone and without her pristine husband. when the conversation started focusing on Tobirama it started to be too awkward to sustain. Besides, she had to lie to her father in almost all the questions he made. All of it was too strange to let it just pass, so she asked her mother, but she kind of regretted it.

She asked while taking the noon tea on the balcony facing the sunset, one of the things she missed the most. She asked why her father had this strange idea, that she was madly in love and couldn't live without being near Tobirama? It was just ridiculous.

Her mother looked the emptiness of the horizon for a long time, she insisted when the silence went too long:

- "Mother?"

- "... sorry, it's just I don't want you to feel responsible for this"

- "For his state of mind, you mean?"

- "Yes… in short words, yes"

- "Why… why would I think that?"

- "He woke up with that idea after fainting in his studio… a maid founded him on the floor, his cup of wine all over the carpet… he had been bemoaning for send you away for days… blaming himself for sending you there. He knew you would hate that life, that it was probably your husband would send you back, that his choice had been selfish and only to protect the family name… that he promised you another life, his mind wasn't that bad back then"

- "Are you saying that the guilt provoked him a seizure… and now he is worse because of that?"

- "It isn't a fact, I'm just guessing… but it was a factor. He got so sad, he got drunk often… almost daily in his studio, while he touched the map you painted for him on the wall. It broke my heart to see him going down towards that path while being unable to do something…"-

Her mother almost never cried, in fact, it has been more often for her father to do so than to her mother. But now she cried, not by anguish or anger, the tears fell down her cheeks without blinking, her stare fixed on the agonizing sun. She was defeated.

She couldn't give any comfort to her mother, she herself was emotionally wrecked, and this was a new load for her unstable mind, so she left the balcony.

She left the house and went to the ravine, she ran along it as long and far as her legs took her until she was tired and the sun was gone.

A stream went near, falling into the sea. It was small now, the stubble left after the large river got diverted to serve as a water supply for the nearest abbey. She felt just like that, but trying to be less self-centered it reminded of her father too. It was horrible to think things worse to know that all of this became worse because of her sensibilities.

She thought herself to be strong in a vast sense of the word, but after a little pressure on her weak point, she almost broke in a short time. It wasn't even on purpose… god, she felt like an asshole, incredibly childish and stupid right now.

Her self-absorption ended when she heard footsteps, heavy ones, a man with no doubt. Someone from her house or someone stupid enough to walk alone in the darkness in this property. Even when she ran away, her father's lands were vast in extension. She prepared herself to fake a lost lady and break the neck of the stupid furtive that was marauding her father's lands.

She tore one of her sleeves showing her shoulders and some cleavage in order to make his prey more easy to fall, but the invader carried an oil lamp which made her realize the time. If her mother sent him to search for her, then she spent hours running, contemplating the darkness of the forest.

- "Well, well… look what a beauty brings me the forest in the night… are you a nymph of the old river that was here once? Or a product of my feverish mind after hours of looking for some crazy girl that runs in the darkness?"

- "Pff, shut up, I was going back"

- "Is that how you greet me after months, my love? I thought you would run into my arms after experiencing the touch of tight ass-Tobirama…"

- "As if yours was so good? Learn some humility"- she said. As she started the way back to her house, he grabbed her arm, quick but gentle -as he always was- and turned her around after hanging the lamp on a low branch.

- "Hey… I missed you"- he said as he held her chin softly to look at her face. She didn't look back though, she knew what he was doing and wasn't up for it.

- "I would be lying if I said I didn't… but it changes nothing. You know why I left and now I realize that coming back alone was a mistake"- she freed easily from his soft grip and walked back towards the villa.

- "That's not entirely true"- he grabbed her again but now with both hands on her shoulders. He stroked her cold skin with his calloused thumbs- "You can tell me, you know it, I told you I will be always here for you..."

- "Stop it!"- she hissed- "What do you think I am? A broken doll? I don't need this shit or your pity, I can handle my own, I was immature and thought of myself as an exception. This just made me realize I'm not. I told you to move away from what we had… it was a childish dream"

She could see his astonished expression with the candlelight, the reflection of the fire in his honey eyes… She hurt him so many times, she thought this time he would move forward since she wouldn't be near to make it more difficult… looks like she was wrong.

- "It hurts me more to be away from you. To hear you are with another... and that he mistreats you. These past months I lived from memories, melancholy was something I didn't know before that, you didn't? Your mother told me you were unhappy in that house, I guessed Tobirama was a fool and couldn't manage a woman like you-"

- "She shouldn't say anything, those are my problems. We are no longer confident, do I have to reiterate this? I may be a little mistreated, but I wouldn't break my vows and shame my father by letting your soft touch linger on my mind or body… at least until he gives me back or dies"

- "I know. You must remember that I know you better than anyone.-"

- "The one you knew was a naive girl that believed her father lies, I'm changing into another being… One you have the luck of not knowing"

- "Don't say that. We change yes, but our essence lingers even after death. I know your essence, it's what I'm in love with."

- "Shh… you don't know what you are talking about. You are in love with a mental image of me you made by yourself, to cure your sadness and melancholy. I'm not that good. Let's walk home, I'm tired."

- "As you wish, my dear, but I still deny your statement. You are better than you think you are"

The way home was silent, it was true that Kuren knew me a lot. He understood she wanted silence, that she was tired of verbal fights. It was a comforting silence. A balm to her perturbed mind… God, she had missed this, it made even more difficult to accept that she must go back to the Valley, just the idea made her heart shrink.

Tobirama drained her to the bones, and now she couldn't go to Kuren arms (as much as she wanted) to get the precious energy and nurturing she so much craved for.

Was he respecting their votes in the same way? What stopped him from getting any expensive whore to empty his mind and body? What is this feeling that rises in her throat like bile… Envy? No… it was jealousy. Amusing, after all the shit that happened, she actually made an attachment to that rude moron. Even if a little, she cared, and that made it all worse.

They left the forest. The villa was visible on the cliff. She felt the tears ready to fall and she ran to her house. She heard Kuren yelling her name and then running behind, but she couldn't explain her tears so she ran at top speed, entered her room with a window and locked anything someone could use as an entrance. There she cried alone again. How many tears will she have to spend for Tobirama and his foolish acts? She wasn't sure if he even went to visit the whores but it made her feel stupid anyway. She was trying to fulfill the oath while she wasn't sure if it meant the same for him… She almost didn't know him after all.

Next morning- coast.

She woke up from the sunbeams hitting her face. She fell asleep on the carpet near the fire of her room. It was really late and her house was calm as usual. She asked a maid to help her with her bath, she was a new one, friends with her sister. She tried her best, but couldn't hide her nervousness completely. She grabbed her wrist- softly- she didn't want to scare her, and asked what was wrong. She just replied she had listened very brave things about her and was honored to serve and was also nervous to make a good impression. She didn't swallow that, she was hiding something.

She asked her to leave her alone while bathing. Finally alone, she could relax in her old tub, the one she used almost all her life. She let the water wash away all the shit she had experienced, scrubbing hard when she remembered something especially unpleasant. She threw more prepared water with oils and scented soaps and lingered there, a moment of catharsis for herself after all the hard things that happen and the ones that will come.

That made her realize she had spent months without taking care of herself. The foreignness of the valley didn't make her feel comfortable and so she spent months without a touch, a nice one, not a demandant one.

Here in her domain she could imagine and do as she pleased. So she remembered her favorite position with Kuren. She craved for him, a lot. Even if she couldn't be with him physically he still was in her mind when it came to flesh pleasure (she lied to him), but no one will know.

Somewhere between the valley and coast

Tobirama left early hopping for a travel without rain, it was a long trip to the coast after all. He reflected on bringing the dog with him, but even if he knew it would bring Makoto´s good side, the dog was determined to guard Mito. It was easy to travel without him anyway, he obeyed Makoto instantly, but him… he wasn't so sure.

He traveled at a good speed but made stops for the horse to rest. He used his time alone to ponder over what he should say upon his arrival. How could he start? An apology? He knew that any demand or imperative order will be useless with her. Also, Hashirama was very clear. He had to bring her back to the valley with him no matter how long it takes him.

He concluded that anything he planed in this travel will be useless, since the last time he sketched something to say or determined course of action he ended failing.

When he finally visualized the old cliff villa he was tired and sore for mounting. He spurred his horse in one last effort and arrived in the middle of the night when everybody was asleep except for the guards.

He went to the stables uncloaked and one of the guards on watch, the older one, instantly recognized him, while the younger one looked him suspiciously.

- "Milord! The matriarch said you will come one of these days. I'll call the ostler to accommodate your mount"

- "Thank you… So Lady Kato said I will come?"

- "Yes, Milord. We have been watching since lady Makoto arrived, wild girl, isn't she?"- the guard was a man near the forties, his playful and prurient tone distasteful.

- "I´ll honor my wife keeping our private life that way, private Sir. Now if you will excuse me, I have a horse to take care of"

- "Y-yes Milord, I apologize"- the guard excused himself and went clumsily back onto the house, probably to announce his arrival.

After he left his horse with the old horseman, the young guard who kept silent all the time escorted him through the hall towards a small and cozy office. It was richly decorated, with beautifully embroidered pillows- a woman´s office- he thought, probably Lady Kato. The guard side eyed him with an estrange expression… Anger maybe?

- "You are here to amend your actions with Makoto?"

- "Tobirama gazed at him slowly. Who did this man think he was to talk about their relationship so freely?"

- "I'm no a simple guard of this house. I'm a servant of Kokuyo, in case you're thinking I'm overstepping"

- "So you think you can stuff your nose anywhere near my wife's matters?- he said with disdain"

- "That's just a title, I have known her since we were children"- the guard closed the distance between them. The man was almost his same height- "you have been mistreating her and you have the courage to come here just a few days later claiming her back? You know nothing of her if you think it will work"

- "You know anything about me or our relationship. I will give you just one warning guard- retire yourself from my presence, and don't ever talk again about my wife"

The daring tone Tobirama used made Kuren's young blood boil with jealousy. How dared him to talk him like that. He wasn't his lord or any kind of superior, furthermore, he didn't deserve Makoto. His thoughts went through his mouth without censorship.

- "Oh, but I know her, yes... intimately so. If you cannot manage what I say you should have thought it before doing anything but pleasing her, as she deserves"

Tobirama couldn't let linger the sexual implication in his statement. Was he the former lover he once asked Makoto about?

- "I suggest you shut your mouth about such matters, as a gentleman should"- Tobirama said harshly, his mandible tight for keeping restraint. Their foreheads almost touching, defeating.

- "I'm not speaking a rumor. We were lovers once if that's what you want to ask and she never once complained about my ministrations… Or at least she never ran away from me"

That hit a soft spot. Tobirama grabbed him by his collar and pushed him towards the wall, lifting his weight against it.

- "You will care your own business guard. She's no longer yours, never truly was. I don't see her running away with you, do you?"- Tobirama hissed, he was tired, and this welcome was irritating him far too quickly.

Now it was Kuren turn for being touched in a soft spot.

- "And what do you know about how she feels and thinks. She has been days here in the villa, are you sure she's yours in body and soul?"- He teased. He had no more counters against Tobirama, but he refused to keep silent against him.

Tobirama remained silent but glancing him closely, considering if he should beat apologies out of him. He knew the answer was no, but he wasn't going to accept defeat from this stranger who was showing off without Makoto here to defend her posture.

After a couple seconds of glance fight, a woman in a nightgown equally embroidered entered the office from a side door of the room. Lady Kato-he thought again- since he never really met her before. She always remained here -in the coast villa- when her husband left for battle.

- "Am I interrupting something? I hope you are not thinking about picking a fight in my office Kuren, especially not with our recently arrived guest"

Tobirama released him offhandedly, not without giving him a glance again.

- "You can go to your quarter's boy, thank you for escorting him"

- "Yes, my lady, I didn't intend"- he was discontinued by a hand sign of Lady Kato indicating him to stop and leave. He made a reverence towards her and left, eyeing Tobirama in warning. This wasn't over.

When Kuren left Lady Kato began saluting him as if nothing happened.

- "Oh my, what a poor hour have you chosen to arrive, my boy. Let me see you"

Lady Kato looked undoubtedly stressed by his arrival, she had an elegant and delicate face tough her eyes held the same harshness that Makoto's. She was a small woman so she inclined him towards her in order to examine him closely.

- "It shames me that my arrival awoke you, my lady"

-"Mother, you should say my dear"- she interrupted- Lady Kato, as her daughters, did not come around with words.

- "As you wish… mother"- it was actually hard for Tobirama to say the word. His mother died when he was a small boy, he hadn't spoken that word in a long, long time.

- "You have grown to be a handsome young man. I'm so sorry for not being able to attend the wedding, but we shall speak tomorrow, you must be tired. I prepared you a guest room for you since my daughter has refused to speak any further about your marital state. But the fact that you have come all the way from the valley is an indicator?"- she gazed him with hope clear in her eyes, a sincere smile on her lips.

Tobirama was extremely taken aback by Makoto's mother forwardness, but he couldn't have paraphrased any better his actual situation, so he just nodded.

Good! Please follow the servant outside the main door, she will guide you to your bed, my boy.

He did as she said not before offering a reverence. The servant girl was outside as Lady Kato said, she was nervous and was obvious she had been awoken because of him. She walked him silently until they reached the end of the corridor, a window allowed him to see the moon's light reflected in the sea right below them.

- "T-this is the room of Lady Makoto's sister- Lady Tsuki. She said you shouldn't be far from your wife even if…"- she eyed him guilty then the floor. It seemed everyone here knew they had a dispute.

- "Does she sleep there?"- he said pointing towards the next door room.

- "Yes! That's lady Makoto's room… she wasn't waiting for you"- she said the last thing mumbling.

- "Excuse me?"

- "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't speak those things!"- she apologized fervently with a pronounced reverence "I´ll leave you to your rest. Please ask any servant if you need something!"

She left quickly and he entered the room. It seemed Lady Tsuki had been away a long time. The room lacked personal touch in decoration and was sparsely furnished like she left and took with her all that held a personal meaning. It was better for him that way.

He changed into night clothes not even bothering with bath and threw his body on the bed. Tiredness made it one of the best night's sleep of the month.

Next morning- coast region.

She cleaned herself slowly, wrapped her hair and body with a towel and bathrobe and began her session of creams and ointments. It wasn't long before she heard the door from her sister's room opening. She was confused at first- she thought her sister was in her husband's house- but then disgusts quickly became her expression when it was Tobirama who went through the door frame.

- "What are you doing here?"- she put down the cream she was using and stood up swiftly, throwing some of her ointments into the bathtub, covering her legs from exposure.

- "were you expecting someone else?"- Tobirama didn't forget his little chat with that guard last night. The sentence came out accusingly.

- "What?"- She looked him puzzled.

If she was seeing that man then she wasn't expecting him to join her in the tub, not now at least, he reasoned.

- "One of your guards inform took the liberty of informing me about how he actively pleased you before you were sent to the valley-" he said in mocking tone, she interrupted him-

- "A guard what?"

- "Are you seeing him"- he approached her cautiously.

- "I'm not sleeping with anyone if that's what you are asking. I suppose you hadn't visited any whorehouse if you have the nerve to ask that to me"

- "Do I impress you as a man who enjoys whoring?"- he was now at arm's length.

-"I don't know you. We barely talked about anything but work, how-" it was his turn to interrupt her now.

- "Is it true, then? That he was your lover?. That you screamed his name?"- He grabbed her by her arms, soft but firm, his face so close she could feel his breath.

- "Why is that important now? I had a lover before, but so did you, and I'm not asking you about them!"- She tried to put some space between, but as she recoiled he advanced, so she began pushing him with her arms.

- "The others were meaningless to me! You keep your past lover here, swaggering in my face!"-he raised his tone. It seemed whatever Kuren said went directly to his male proud, stupid Kuren.

- "That wasn't my intention. I didn't know you were coming and Kuren works for my mother too. He's been here since he was a child"- Her back hit the wood wall of the bathroom- "Tobirama, let me go, what do you want!"-she pushed him harder and raised her voice trying to arise suspicion from the maids or wake some sense in Tobirama.

- "I came here to apologize again! and this is how you receive me?!"- his eyes looked desperate and angry. He rubbed his thumbs on her arms, as if trying a caress her but failed, it was too harsh. As if he had never been caressed that way. It just made her flinch from his touch.

- "Why?"- was the only word she could form. She wanted the real reason. She wanted to know why was he struggling to keep this failed marriage up. They could keep her intel contribution without the marriage, she was loyal. Did they doubt her motives?

- "I…"- he looked down, searching for his answer on the floor, her clothes, anything but her face.

He released her arms, caressing them in an imaginary path until he grabbed her wrists when she recoiled his touch.

It perturbed her how he looked almost spellbound when he touched her as if he had never touched a woman before... which of course he did. He took her dominant hand towards his face, caressing his face with it with an expression of longing maybe? She wasn't good reading his expressions, they were so poor. He stopped all of sudden and looked her in the eye, something dark went through them. She knew it, she had seen it before, but she didn't want to accept this as an expression Tobirama was able to make: lust.

He blocked her completely and went much closer, maintaining her hand still near his face. He smelt her with a deep inhale, enjoying her smell. It made her guts tremble, she didn't know if in a good or bad way. He was going to suck her fingers when it hit her; she had touched herself with that hand... He was smelling her! She tried again to reclaim her hand only to find a firmer grip. His expression changed, he noticed her rejection. He talked then, the lowest tone she heard him talk ever, his forehead touching hers:

- "You touched yourself…"

- "..."

- "Did you think of him while doing it?"

- "..."

He looked her directly, eye to eye. She didn't know how to respond to that, or even if she should answer. Her intimacy was her own, wasn't it? She didn't answer, just stared him, his weird colored eyes. His pupils went smaller every second she didn't answer.

- "Did you touch yourself in my house thinking of him?"- She heard the anger in his voice, the humiliation.

- "No" - She whispered

- "No what"

- "I didn't feel comfortable enough under your roof- words spilled from her mouth quick like a stream, she felt the need to clarify -like a child who's caught stealing a candy- now let me go, you can't control my thoughts!"- she pushed him for real this time, disengaging his grip and finally being able to reach the door towards her room. Although, she had to say a few words before closing the door behind her back - "You better prove you are here to apologize and for your information, it's achieved by not being an ass!"

I'm sorry for the last upload, it wasn't nice to read, I will check last chapters, they must have a lot of mistakes since I made them with the same tablet app xD.

Thanks to evabrennan for helping me notice it and her corrections 3!