DISCLAIMER: IT IS OWNED BY NEW LINE CINEMA AND WARNER BROS. STUDIOS! I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR MY OC!
Just to let you guys know: I am in no way homophobic or hateful towards people in the LGBTQ community! I fully respect anyone in this community. I'm saying this because there is a scene with Richie and... I'm sure you guys know why.
A/N: I was supposed to upload this chapter earlier this morning... but I wasn't done with it yet. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! So, while I had free time at school today, I got it done... FINALLY! So, here you guys go! Oh, and THIS is the longest chapter! It's been confirmed!
Only one more chapter after this one and it will be over. *goes to personal corner and cries hysterically* We'll have to say goodbye to Steph this weekend, and I'm probably gonna cry myself to sleep after uploading the epilogue. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!
Angryfanfic: You'll have to wait until the epilogue ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter!
MusicLover14: You sure have the guts to suffer through the Twilight films. They are AWFUL! *vomits* And I'm a pretty good way into the fifth chapter of my other story! You may get that within the next few days or a week, so be looking forward to it! :) And yes, you forgot Stell, but it's perfectly fine! I'll answer all of your question after the epilogue is released! I want you to ask more question related to Steph's character, but I'll explain more after the ending of this chapter. And please don't punch a wall. You can always reread these two stories, and that would be fun to do. Thanks for the kudos! All my love goes to you as well, my friend! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Avs Rulezzzzz: Thank you so much! That made my day! Glad you're enjoying the story! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
SuperSentai199: Yes, it was. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter, and hopefully this one as well!
.2019: Thank you! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
MissBeckyJolene: Thank you! I will explain more about the Q&A at the end of this chapter, so stay tuned! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
robinmuffins: Yeah, maybe a little late, but that's alright! I'm glad you loved the last chapter! I was actually surprised at how long it was, as well as this one lol Hope you enjoy this one, and if you want details about the Q&A, read the author's note after this chapter is over.
Special thanks to: Angryfanfic, MusicLover14, Avs Rulezzzzz, SuperSentai199, .2019, MissBeckyJolene, and robinmuffins for leaving a review on the last chapter!
Now, without further ado, here is the thirteenth chapter!
Chapter Thirteen
A few hours passed before Steph finally calmed down from her emotional explanation. During those hours, she remained in Bill's arms, and he held her as they talked. They reminisced over dozens of memories, and most of them filled them with laughter as they relived each one. Surprisingly, not a single one of them brought Steph to tears, although a few nearly did; she managed to hold them back quite easily, and that was pretty good for her. And, eventually, she was her old happy self again, but she knew that things would never be the same going forward.
After some more time went by, the two got up from the bed and left the room. They went downstairs to see that the others were already gathered around the bar, which made Steph smile a little. With their hands still connected, the both of them walked over to the other four and sat on a few stools that were still open, and the others seemed happy that they had showed up.
"Oh, my God!" Richie exclaimed in a joking voice, although his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "They live!"
Steph raised her eyebrows as she gave the man with glasses a knowing look. "Did you just unintentionally reference that 80s John Carpenter movie?" she asked, laughter threatening to arrive; she couldn't hold it back at the expression on Richie's face after she had said that.
"Shoot," he muttered under his breath. All of the others laughed, although Steph seemed to be the only one that noticed the somewhat secretive look on Richie's face afterwards. Her giggling faltered just a little, but she made sure nobody could tell. But she knew that she was going to ask him questions later; he wasn't getting away as easily as he might've thought.
For hours, as the sun slowly sank under the horizon, the six Losers talked more about how their lives had been before everything that happened recently. They had drinks as they shared stories, laughs, and emotions, and it took a lot of stress out of Steph as she learned so much more about her friends that she had not known for 27 years. She paid attention as she absorbed the information about Ben's architecture business, Richie's comedy career, Beverly's fashion line, and Mike's job as a librarian. And then Steph and Bill talked about their jobs, she as an actress and he as a writer, and they were all interested.
During the time that passed until the sun went down, Steph grew so much closer to the other four people in the room with her and Bill. Sure, she had been close to them before the group started breaking apart during their teenage years, but she could definitely call them inseparable now. It was a good feeling that stayed in her heart, and she knew that it would never leave her subconscious and that she would never forget it.
It was then that Steph realized that the friendship between her and the other five (even her own husband) wasn't just some happy part of her life and who she was as a person. No. Their friendship was like the soft colors of nature, like the blue sky that deepened to show everyone the stars every night; it was an earthiness that would last a lifetime. And that was what had led them to defeat It once and for all. Her friends had saved her both emotionally and physically, even though two of them were not on this planet anymore; but not even that could drain Steph's happiness during those moments, as she also felt that she was honoring their memories as well.
And then she remembered that the day they had made that blood oath in that September, 27 years ago, was the last time that all eight of them were together. But she knew that this would not be the last time that the six of them would be together.
After about seven hours, the sun had long since set and the remaining Losers were finally finishing their banter, although there was still chuckling among them. Everything settled down and they started going back to minding their own business, mainly continuing their task of packing their bags to leave Derry again. But they all promised each other that they would meet up whenever they could after they all left, and Steph had a feeling that those promises would come true. And, if that was the case, she was happy.
After she took a last sip of wine from her glass, she glanced to her right and saw Richie walking out of the lobby area by himself, exiting the building. And that was when she figured that this could be her moment to get him to talk and admit what she knew he needed to admit. So, after telling Bill she would be back in a little bit, she got off of the stool she was sitting on, her feet lightly hitting the floor. She cautiously walked towards the front doors, not knowing if she should talk to him or not. She didn't want to aggravate him, and if she accidently did, she would regret it for a while.
Steph paused at the doors, starting to second-guess what she was doing; a part of her did not want to open these doors and turn him into more of an emotional wreck that he already was. But she needed answers, and she wanted to comfort Richie as much as she could. He was her best friend, after all, despite their major differences and how much they bickered. Richie Tozier was still one of the most important people in her life even if they hadn't seen each other in over two and a half decades before their reunion two nights ago.
So, although she was still a little hesitant, she pushed open the doors and walked out into the surprisingly warm weather. Her eyes instantly fell on Richie, who was sitting on the stairs, as quiet as a mouse. The doors she had just opened shut very silently behind her as she sat down next to the man with the glasses, letting the stillness absorb them for a moment. She was a little surprised that Richie hadn't moved at all when she came outside, didn't even give Steph the least bit of attention; his eyes were glued to the other three stairs that resided beneath them.
"You here to comfort me again?" Richie spoke up, his voice monotone, his gaze still not drifting to Steph whatsoever. The woman could see that his eyes were blank as he said these words, and it made her sigh; she could tell that he was hiding his true emotions that he wanted to let out and he was also hiding something else from her… something that she couldn't quite pinpoint. It was something that she was sure that she didn't even remember.
"No…" she answered, finally looking at Richie, who still hadn't moved. "I'm not here to hold you again unless you need it."
The usually lighthearted member of the Losers' Club glanced at Steph after a long moment, an exasperated look in his eyes. "Then what do you want?" he retorted, a slight bite to his tone. "I've already been through enough and I need to know why you came out here to see me, knowing I'm not gonna say anything…"
After a brief second, during which Steph was a little surprised that her best friend would react to her presence this way. It reminded her of a time that he had acted the same way; it was after the fight between him and Bill in July of that summer, but she pushed it out of her mind for just a moment. And she then opened her mouth to say the words she had been needing to say for the past several hours.
"Rich," she said a little quieter than she had intended, "I did not come out here to comfort you." Her tone was final and blunt. "I came out here because I need answers."
Richie snapped his head back to her, his eyes wide as if he had been a deer caught in headlights. "What do you mean, you need answers?" he asked, his voice one of annoyance, but Steph could hear the slight nervousness as he spoke, and she knew that how he had said the words instantly gave him away; he was trying to get away from this conversation.
"Richard Tozier, do not play dumb with me, please," she begged, giving him a pleading look. "Listen, do you remember what I told you a long time ago when I ran into you at the theater?"
It was at that moment that Richie's shoulders sagged, and he relented, dropping his pretensive nature. He looked at her and said, "Yeah."
"I need to let you know that what I said still stands."
And, almost like a rush of water blasting against Steph, the memory came back into full focus as
she strolled down the street, her destination being the Aladdin Theater. Her purse was slung over her right shoulder, her other hand stuffed in her left pocket of her blue jeans. Her short and messy blonde hair was in a ponytail and it was being gusted behind her by the wind, and the cool air made her hug herself a little as she approached the building that stood a dozen feet away.
It was five days after Steph's birthday and it was unreasonably chilly for a summer day; not that it was a bad thing, it was just something that the teenage girl wasn't used to around this time of year. She was headed to the theater for two reasons: one, she wanted to see a horror movie that had just been released (even though she wasn't quite old enough to see it), and it was only to see if it was really as bad as people said it was; and second, she wanted to see if Richie was there so she could reason with him about the fight he and Bill had three and a half weeks ago.
Steph finally reached the front doors of the theater and opened them with great ease. Immediately, she was met with over a dozen other kids playing with the arcade games that were set up in the lobby; it was the standout feature of one of her favorite places in Derry. It probably was her favorite place in this awful excuse for a town. It was a place where she could watch films of many genres, no matter what they were and she always thought that they were beautiful, as was the experience of viewing countless films.
She looked around the wide and open room, vividly searching with her eyes with a concentrated expression on her face. She saw the poster for Friday the 13th Part Vlll: Jason Takes Manhattan (which was the film she was here to see) and she chuckled a little. But her smile dropped a few seconds later as her eyes landed on the person she was looking for. She took a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists for a second before slowly walking over to him.
Richie was standing in front of an arcade machine, labeled 'Street Fighter.' Of course, thought Steph as she approached him, noticing that he was hitting the controls a little too harshly than he normally would have. It made her wince a little and she rushed over to the machine. "Woah woah woah, Rich!" she exclaimed calmly, gesturing to what he was playing. "You look like you're about to murder that game, take deep breaths…"
The boy whipped his head around to face her, a glare imprinted into his eyes that actually wasn't directed at her, and she noticed it. She didn't say anything about it.
"What do you want, Steph?" he sighed, his shoulders slumped in defeat as he looked down to stare at the floor.
The girl's expression morphed from one of surprise to one of sympathy as she put a hand on his shoulder. "I wanted to see a friend," she answered him. "We need to talk about what happened a few weeks ago…"
Richie scoffed, turning back to the game. "What happened between Bill and I is in the freaking past," he retorted. "We don't need to talk about anything!" He started playing the game again, pretending that Steph wasn't there as he did so.
And that was when Steph snapped, and she grit her teeth; she wasn't giving up that easily, and she wasn't letting Richie get away with his excuse. So, she leaned forward and slammed her hand down on the red 'QUIT GAME' button, and the match was cut off. This made Richie scowl at her, and he opened his mouth to shout at her, but she held up her right hand.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," she said through her clenched teeth, still trying to be as collected as possible. "I just wanna talk to you, and you're gonna let me say my piece. Understand?"
There was a moment of tense silence between the two, and Steph was afraid that Richie was going to yell at her regardless of her warning. And if he did, he was going to regret it, and she figured that he knew that; it was better if you didn't raise your voice at Stephanie Palmer, or she was going to do the same to you. If there was anything that the other seven members of the Losers' Club knew, the young girl could get angry real fast. And nobody liked to see Steph when she was mad. The other problem was that the two were in public, and Steph didn't want Richie to cause a scene.
So, knowing that yelling at her was not the best idea, the boy with the coke bottles looked at Steph, visibly calmer now. He nodded his head, although slowly, and a grateful smile grew on the girl's face. "Good," she said. "Let's take this outside so nobody will hear, okay?'
Richie didn't even have to nod to let her know that he would. He followed her outside, and nobody even spared a glance at them, much to Steph's relief. She led him to the alleyway nearby, the movie she was yet to see in the back of her mind now; she had more important things to do at this moment. The two of them sat on the ground and leaned their backs against the wall of the theater, staring at the few bits of trash that were littered around them. Steph's hair blew behind her again, and she was grateful that she wore a long-sleeved shirt that day, since the chill of the air made goosebumps erupt on her arms.
She then turned to Richie and opened her mouth. "So…" she began. "How have you been? Anything new happen?"
The boy next to her shrugged, his gaze not directed to her at all. His expression seemed just a little blank, but Steph could see through that barrier, able to see the hidden emotion. But, before she was able to speak again, Richie cut her off, although he didn't know that he did.
"It's just… things have been so different without the others around…" he began to explain. "Especially… never mind. I don't feel like myself anymore, and it freaking sucks. Do you get that?"
Steph nodded, putting a comforting hand on Richie's shoulder as her eyes fell a little. "I understand," she replied, her voice softer and more stable than she had ever used it around Richie; usually she was always sarcastic or she often snapped at him. She sounded absolutely genuine now, and she felt as if it were really needed at that moment. She felt no tension, and she wasn't angry or annoyed with him... she completely understood him.
"I've felt alone for the past few weeks, too," continued Steph. "Only Bill and Beverly have stuck by me, but that doesn't help all that much. I don't feel the same anymore, and I hate it as well… I hate it just like you hate it about yourself. But… even though I'm still sad and annoyed with how you acted that day, I learned something. You just need to be strong through that sadness. I'm telling you this, because I didn't mean to say the things I said to you that day. I'm saying I'm sorry, and that's me being strong. I need you to be strong as well… That's all I'm asking. If you have that bravery, then maybe we can all be a group again…"
There was a long moment of stillness, where they both stayed silent. It was not precisely awkward… it was, Steph though, almost powerful. Even though she and Richie didn't share any words in these several seconds, they knew what needed to be said between them. And that was what made the boy lock eyes with her, green meeting dark blue.
"I'm trying to be strong…" said Richie. "But it's just so dang difficult… especially since…"
Steph sensed his hesitation, and it made her comforting expression waver for just a tiny second. "Since what, Rich?" she inquired gently, not wanting to push his buttons further than she had earlier.
Richie shook his head. "It's nothing you should know," he replied. "I'm just freaking scared. I don't want to be, but I can't stop it, and I just wanna give up…"
"And that's something you should not do," interrupted Steph, giving him a harsh but pleading look. "Giving up is the worst thing you could ever do. What happened to the confident and quippy Richie Tozier I once knew? Where is that boy right now? Is he here or is he just hiding from the horrors of the real world?"
The boy just stared at her, his eyes full of fear, but she could tell that it was slowly diminishing by the second. And it made her smile slightly out of pride.
"Even though you annoy the heck out of me sometimes," she went on, "you are still very strong. I need to see that from you right now, because of what's going on. If you do, then maybe we can take this demon down. We can kill this freaking clown if we all stay strong. Sure, we may be scared, but facing your fears is just a part of life. We're all afraid of something, but we have to fight that and defeat it. Do you understand?"
Richie didn't hesitate to nod this time. "I'm still mad at Bill, though," he said, and Steph rolled her eyes, but she still chuckled.
"Well, maybe cool off more before you guys make up," she advised. "I also think you need a hug, so come here."
And they hugged, their differences behind them for the time being.
"I need you to be strong for me right now," Steph told him as the memory faded away to where it would reappear again in the future. "If you don't… well, I don't know what I'll do. I already let out all my emotions, and it helped a little bit. Maybe you could do that…"
Richie's gaze drifted back to the ground, and he hesitated to speak for a long time. Steph didn't know that his heart was hammering in his chest, and that he was afraid to tell her the truth; he was certain that she would judge him, that she had always known, and that she would be disgusted by what he would say next. He was scared that his best friend would hate her forever, and that's what made his heart leap into his throat out of anxiety.
Steph put a hand on his shoulder, just like she had done all those years ago. She didn't say anything at first, as she noticed that Richie's hands were shaking ever so slightly. It worried her a little bit, and it made her take a trembling breath, a little concerned as to what she would hear next. But she opened her mouth and said the words she wouldn't regret:
"Richie, you know that nothing that you tell me will ever change my love for you as a friend. You are my family no matter what. I'm not the type of person that judges you for anything, even if you freaking annoy me all the time. I will still love you for who you are as a person… no matter what you say. Okay?"
The hush that followed these words was more agonizing than Steph had ever imagined it would be. It pained her a little bit that Richie wasn't answering her, that he wasn't telling her the truth about he was particularly upset about Eddie's death. She wanted to know what he would say, even if she secretly knew that he was scared - ashamed - to tell her. She thought that his response couldn't be that bad, that it would be like nothing to her and it was just something else. But Steph knew that it was something more than that.
And it was. To Richie, it was a very big deal if Steph knew or… anybody knew, really. If someone knew, it would tarnish his emotional state if they judged him. He was so reluctant to tell her, and he was so guilt-ridden that he hadn't told her sooner. He was also grief stricken over his best friend's death, and he was thankful for Steph that she had comforted him when she did. But he was still hesitant, the fear coming back.
I know your secret, your dirty little secret, the words echoed in his mind, and he visibly cringed at the voice. That had happened over a day ago, but he couldn't get it out of his head. He was disgusted at himself that he was like this, and even more so at how scared he was right now.
The only thing holding him back from crying again was the fact that the person sitting beside him was Stephanie Denbrough. He had the feeling that she would never look at him differently, but there was that tiny hint of doubt in his soul that it was true; he wasn't even sure if that was the case or not. That made his worry rise drastically as the seconds passed, and it made his hands tremble even more.
But the truth was this: he had been hiding this secret from his friends for 27 freaking years. Ever since that day at the theater before the statue of Paul Bunyan came to life, he had kept it a secret from the other Losers, especially Steph, as he didn't want her to judge him. She was the friend that he looked up to the most, despite their differences, and since she was now begging for answers, he had to give them to her. He couldn't hide anymore, and he knew that.
"Okay…" he said after what seemed like forever. "You want answers, I'll give them to you. Here's the thing, Steph…. About two weeks before you ran into me at the theater, I was there, playing 'Street Fighter,' like always. Well, someone else wanted to play with me - I can't remember his name, it's been so long - so we did. We went against each other, and we had a good time… until I suggested we play again…."
He paused, unsure if he should continue; he couldn't believe he was telling Steph about the worst day he had possibly gone through in his childhood. To him, it was even worse than any of the encounters with It, the room with the clowns, and the other things he had seen. This, for him, was much, much worse. And he hated it, he freaking despised it.
"What happened after that, Richie?" Steph asked simply, but her tone sounded like she already knew, like it was intended to be that way. And it frightened Richie all the more, but he had already started explaining everything, so he had to continue. If he didn't, he would've probably run away from the townhouse entirely. He would've probably packed his things and left Derry forever, and not see his friends ever again. But he needed to be strong, just like Steph wanted… so he went on.
"Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bowers enter the lobby… and it turned out that the boy was his cousin. His freaking cousin, Steph… And he called me all these names that I never wanted to hear… and I left. And that was when I realized something…."
Once again, he stopped speaking. Although his bravery was coming back, he was still uncertain about finishing his explanation. He locked eyes with Steph for a moment, and he saw that she was patient, that she was tolerating the long silence in a composed manner. And that honestly worried him more, especially when he could see the masked concern in her vivid blue eyes.
"What did you realize?" inquired Steph, her gaze gentle and reassuring as she said it.
Richie then burst into tears almost immediately and the woman pulled him into the third hug that day. She ran a comforting hand over his back as his body shook, and she knew that these weren't tears of sorrow or grief; they were tears of what seemed to be humiliation and it saddened her deeply. She rested her head on his and they stayed that way for a while, just waiting for the man in her arms to calm down.
And he did some time later, but the tears still flowed despite this. Richie sniffed, wiping at his eyes underneath the glasses before meeting Steph's eyes again. "I'm… I'm gay," he admitted at last. "And… I had feelings for… Eddie."
For a moment, Steph was giving him a look that seemed to be one of slight surprise. Her lips were parted a little bit and her eyes were wide. But, after a few seconds, she let out a giggle, much to Richie's astonishment. She covered her mouth to be a little quieter as she shut her eyes.
"Is that it?" she said, solace buried in her tone. "Is that really it? I thought it was something worse than that!"
Richie dropped his gaze out of utter embarrassment, but he didn't feel ashamed this time. "Yeah… that's what I needed to say… That's what I've been hiding for so long."
Steph stopped laughing after a short while, her humored expression turning back into a serious one. "I'm sorry I laughed," she told him. "I just thought you were going to tell me something worse than that. But that's it… Richie, if you think I'm going to judge you for that, then I can finally call you a dang moron."
The man beside her shook his head. "No…" he muttered. "You can judge me… tell me I'm a fairy… I can take it…"
The blonde woman scoffed. "No, you can't because I'm not gonna say that to you," she said bluntly. "Richard Tozier, listen to me right now. You are not a fairy or whatever Bowers called you that day. He called you that because he was a freaking jerk who couldn't think because he was so stupid. Look, you are the same old Richie to me, no matter what. You're still my best friend and I still love you… and, if you want, this can stay between us until you're ready to tell the others…"
Richie sighed with immense relief, and he chuckled a little, wiping away the tears that had stained his face. It made Steph smile when she heard him laugh, and it was like music to her ears to know that he was cheerful because she hadn't judged him. She didn't even see him any differently, and this was a big deal for Richie, and she knew it. And she accepted his embrace when he wrapped his arms around her, and she realized that it was a way of saying, "Thank you."
"You don't have to be afraid anymore," said Steph, rubbing a hand over his shoulder. "You're still the good old Trashmouth I know, okay?"
"How long have you known? Did you ever know?"
Steph pulled back and shrugged. "I noticed that you acted a little different around Eddie, but I never really figured it out until just now. I would say that you did a pretty good job at hiding it. But I kinda wished you told us much sooner, and I wouldn't have judged you then. And I certainly won't now. You are you, and that's what matters, okay?"
Richie nodded, and they hugged again.
The next was the day that five of the Losers would leave Derry and never return.
But that didn't mean that they would forget, because they wouldn't, which was the best thing Steph could ask for.
She and Bill were currently packing their things and getting ready to leave. The blonde woman folded up her clothes and gently stuffed them into her suitcase, along with her toiletries and hairbrush. There was a silence between the two, but this one was comfortable and peaceful. It gave Steph the indication that although it would be difficult to move on, she knew that she would be able to eventually. The grief was still there, but it was mostly hidden by the fact that she was glad to be going back to New York.
Steph paused in her packing process, looking out the window. She could just barely hear birds chirping outside as a light breeze blew against the green leaves of the trees. The sun was shining brightly outside, and it was beautiful and glorious to her. She loved the sunshine, as it was the most dazzling sight to her.
She then took a look around the newly cleaned room. The obliterated drawer from what happened two days ago was gone and it was replaced in its rightful location. The room was now spotless enough for more guests that would show up someday in the future. It looked just as it did when Steph and Bill had first entered the room three days before. It was nice again, and it relieved her to no end.
After a few minutes, Steph zipped up her suitcase and lazily let her arms swing back and forth as she watched Bill get finished with his packing. "Do you want me to help you?" she asked in a gentle voice, secretly wanting him to say yes. Her husband turned to her with a smile on his face but he shook his head nonetheless.
"No, it's okay," he replied. "I got it. Thank you, though." He then turned back to his suitcase as Steph nodded.
The woman looked at her watch, which read 10:57 AM. Their plane would be leaving Bangor in about five hours, but they thought it was better that they get ready early so they can leave for the hour and a half drive to the airport. She herself honestly felt it was easier this way, but it was actually Bill who had suggested the idea, so she didn't even know why they were packing so early.
She would find out in a little bit, however.
Half an hour passed by, and Bill finally finished packing, leaving the two in a comfortable silence again. He walked over to her and encircled his arms around her waist, while she wrapped her own arms around his torso. Steph rested her head against his chest, the sound of his calm heartbeat keeping her consoled and sane. It made her tighten her hold on him slightly, and he did the same with her. And that was when something dawned on Steph:
Bill's heartbeat was her new favorite song. And it always would be.
"You ready to go?" he whispered after a while. She shrugged. "I don't know… am I?" she teased. They both chuckled lightly at the joke, and that was when Steph finally pulled away from the hug. She nodded her head seconds later.
"I guess I'm ready to go," she said truthfully, and Bill's arms dropped from her waist as his head bobbed up and down. He ran his hands up and down her arms in the most soothing manner he had ever used and it gave Steph shivers as she gave him a sweet beam that unknowingly made his heart skip a beat.
The two of them grabbed their suitcases and made their way down the stairs. Everyone else, excluding Mike, had already left and were on their way back to their respective towns. The only difference was that Beverly and Ben were going to Nebraska together, and it made Steph extremely happy knowing this. And with those two, as well as Richie and Mike, she had gotten all of their numbers and saved them to her cell phone so she wouldn't forget them. It made a feeling of gratitude swell up inside of her to know that she and her friends were going to be in touch so much more now.
But, one thing was true for sure: Steph was glad that she was leaving Derry for good. She was putting the horrific events from a few days ago and 27 years ago behind her now. But that didn't mean she would forget, because she wouldn't. She wasn't able to, and she was strangely okay with that. She at least had the good memories of the past that she could hold on to, which was an amazing thing.
The couple exited the townhouse, and made their way to their rental car. Mike had gone back to the library earlier that morning and had said goodbye. But Steph knew it wasn't goodbye forever. They opened the back door of the car and put their suitcases in the seat. Bill shut the door for his wife so she wouldn't have to do it, which made her a little thankful.
"I was thinking," Bill said, "that before we go, we take a walk. I mean, we can if you want to. Just one last stroll around Derry before we leave…"
Steph gave him a bewildered look, a smile planted on her face despite her confusion. She chortled a little at the emotion she was currently feeling as she gazed at him. "Bill, where are we gonna go?" she asked, her tone sounding as if she were totally lost. "There's no where I can think of going…"
Bill checked his watch and looked back at her, a respectful look in his eyes as he grinned. "We still have four hours, hun," he answered her. "We can go anywhere you want to… it's up to you." As he said this, he reached out his right hand and took her left, squeezing it softly.
The blonde-haired woman didn't know why she blushed at that moment, but she did, the rosy color filling her cheeks as she stared at him. She had never forgotten how sweet he was to her, and it was most likely the main reason why she loved him. She could tell that he actually had something planned in mind, but he wasn't going to tell her anytime soon. However, she wanted to know what it was, even if he wouldn't reveal it. So, having that as a reminder in her mind, she gave him a nod. "Alright, let's go," she finally said.
After she laced their fingers together, the two set off down the street, Bill making sure to lock the car as they went on their way. Their connected hands swung at their sides as they looked around, spotting the old buildings that stuck out from the new ones. They laughed at some memories they had around the town, they reminisced on some times with their friends or the dates the two had went on as teenagers. Steph's favorite one was still their first one, although she rarely said this to Bill. It was probably because it was a little embarrassing for her, even though the date was absolutely perfect.
The couple strolled through Bassey Park, where the Paul Bunyan statue stood. It looked relatively the same so many years later, and it was something that was kind of funny to Steph. They saw about two dozen people out and about, decorating for the upcoming 4th of July parade that took place every year in Derry. It brought smiles upon their faces, and Steph giggled rather shyly when Bill offered his arm to her. She slipped her arm around his and they started walking again, Steph resting her head on her husband's shoulder as they did so.
After an hour of walking, Steph suddenly halted her steps, making Bill stop as well. He looked at her, his eyebrows raised in puzzlement. "What is it, sweetie?" he asked her. The woman just stared ahead for a moment, her blue eyes seeming to be fixed on something that Bill couldn't physically see. He patiently waited for a response, not caring how long it took, as long as she could think.
Steph took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a minute, her right hand flying up to the necklace she wore. After a small moment, she finally turned to Bill. "I want to see her…" she answered him. "You know…"
Bill looked down for a moment, and he lifted his left hand to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "Are you sure, honey?" he inquired, his fingers lingering on her cheek. Even though she blushed a little, she still nodded, leaning into his hand to where it cradled her face. "I feel like I need to… just one more time…" she said.
He let go of her arm when he heard this, both of his hands falling to take hers. "I'll be there with you if you need me to be," he promised her, lifting her right hand to his lips and planting kisses on it. Steph timidly dropped her gaze and just barely fought back a smile as she nodded. "Okay," she murmured. And her husband hugged her again and, although she didn't return the embrace, it felt nice to just simply be held by him. But she wasn't looking for comfort; she would need it later, most likely. She just needed his word that he would be by her side, and she got that.
They then continued their stroll around the town, a new destination in their minds. Steph didn't know this, but Bill wasn't planning on going to the cemetery; he actually had an entirely different plan in mind. But they could go to that place later. For now, if his wife wanted to visit her mother's grave, he was going to let her; no hesitation, she was getting what she wanted, and it made him happy that he was letting her. He put an arm around her shoulders to provide comfort as they slowly arrived at the place they needed to go. Or, rather, Steph needed to go to this place.
The two approached the gate, where the doors were open. They were regularly closed at night, just in case some prick came in and stole something, but the caretaker never really cared about what it was like during the day. Steph noticed immediately that the cemetery barely looked different so many years later, except for the new graves that had been planted into the ground. She could spot the latest tombstones like they were the most obvious things in the world, and she could also see the older ones very easily. She saw the variation of flowers that sat on the stones, which arranged from rose to daisies to petunias to lillies and so on. The colors red, white, purple, and pink stood out and it was appealing to her, because she knew that they all looked beautiful.
She and Bill walked through the rows of graves, seeing the ones that had names like Carson or Sawyer or Ray or Moore. A sad grimace rested on her face as she looked at these, thinking that the deceased members of those families must have been good people. She wasn't able to mourn for them, however, as she needed to do that for someone else, which made her grab for the necklace she was wearing once again. She took another deep breath and let go of Bill's hand, walking towards the direction she knew she had to go in.
The woman's blonde hair blew behind her loosely and it also flew as the slightly billowing wind brushed through it. The sunlight made it shine and it made it look like it was darker than it should have been.
Steph knelt down in front of the gravestone, feeling a few tears well up in her eyes as she felt Bill's presence behind her. Her finger lightly traced over the necklace, her other hand reaching up to wipe the tears away. "Hi, Mom," she whispered.
The tombstone still looked perfect; it was a grayish-silver color and the words engraved into the rock read:
Jamie R. Palmer
June 4th, 1946
April 29th, 1991
Loving Mother and Daughter
Always in our thoughts
Forever in our hearts
Steph tried her hardest to hold back the tears, but she failed. She didn't sob hysterically, however, only letting a few tears flow as she cried silently. She sniffed after a while and reached both hands behind her neck to unhook the chain of the necklace she wore. The piece of jewelry slipped off of her skin as gently as possible and she let it dangle between two fingers.
"I know you said that even though you're gone… you aren't really gone," continued Steph, her quivering breathing the only other thing she could hear over her speaking. "I just want you to know that I believe you and that I know you're still here with me. I know that you're going to tell me that it'll all be okay now, and maybe it will be, but that doesn't change the fact that… I really miss you, Mom. And I wish you could be here… like, really be here, but I know you can't. I love you so much, Mom, and I'll never forget the years that I did have with you before… before… Never mind."
And with that, she took the heart-shaped necklace, which read 'Mother and Daughter Forever,' and she set it on the stone as carefully as she could. She positioned it to where it would never fall off or get blown off, and she thought it was perfect. Steph felt as if she were honoring her mother's memory by letting her know that, in a way, she herself would always be here.
That fact made the woman cry more, her only desire at that moment being that she could see her mother again. All she wanted was for Jamie to be there and she would feel completely whole again, but she knew that it was not possible anymore. Her mother was gone and she wasn't coming back. Because this thought was in her head, she longed to be closer with her in some way imaginable. So, with that in mind, she moved closer to the tombstone and wrapped her arms around it as much as she could. She rested her head against the cool rock and closed her eyes, her body trembling as she started to sob, and her lips quivered as she cried.
This was the closest she would ever get to her mother ever again, and she treasured this moment like nothing else.
After a while, she let go of the gravestone, feeling a weight being taken off of her heart. It was at that moment that she finally started to move on, and she was grateful for that. A few seconds passed as she heard footsteps behind her; she let Bill gently grab her arms and pull her off of the ground and she melted into his embrace. The feeling of his fingers running through her hair soothed her greatly and it made her sigh with relief, knowing that he was still with her and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
"It's going to be okay," whispered Bill as he pulled away. He held her face in his hands and he wiped her tears away. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, before beginning to pepper kisses all over his wife's face. Steph couldn't help but chuckle through the tears as he did this, and her heart skipped a beat when he finally ended at her lips. She raised her right hand and put it on his face, even though the moment didn't last long.
After they pulled away, the woman lowered her head for a second before locking eyes with Bill. "I know it will be," she replied. "I hope so, anyway… Can we go?"
Bill nodded and the two left the cemetery, never to return again. Steph made sure to spare one last glance at her mother's grave before she left it behind forever. She felt emotionally stronger than ever now, so she looked back in front of her as she and her husband walked away.
The couple strolled around the town more, eventually ending up in the Barrens. They looked at the beautiful nature that surrounded them, as well as the nearby river that led to the Kissing Bridge. The exact bridge the two of them had carved their initials into all those years ago. It made a smile form on her face as they approached a familiar area. There was a circle of logs in the center of the clearing and it was just mere feet away from the river. And it was then that she realized where they were as a brief memory pierced her mind. It was a memory that she had forgotten from that day.
"I saw us, all of us together back in the cistern… but we were older… like, our parents' ages…"
Steph's eyes widened at this information. A lot of questions were rushing into her mind all at once. Was the idea of this ever happening scary to her? Yes, it was. Would it ever actually happen? Maybe. Maybe not. She honestly had no clue. It all just came down at her like a freight train and it was so confusing.
It terrified her, to be honest; the thought of ever having to face that dang creature again was unbearable. But would she be ready to fight It again if that ever did end up happening. Of course she would be. She always would. Especially if all of her friends were alongside her in the process.
"Am I still handsome as an adult?" inquired Richie, cutting Steph's thoughts short. He was gesturing to his face, and it made her and the others laugh a little. She shot the boy an exasperated look despite the moment of humor.
"You grow into your looks," Bev replied with a grin.
"I guess I'm gonna be uglier than I already am," Steph quipped, a goofy but joking smile on her face. Bill elbowed her in response, making her giggle a little. Beverly just simply shook her head.
"You actually get much prettier," was all she said.
"What about me?" Stan asked, still smiling, although this one was more genuine than the others. Steph could see Beverly's smile fall to a smaller one as she gave the boy a secretive look. "Like now, but taller," she said quietly. The blonde girl was confused as to why her best friend had said this that way.
Another long moment of silence.
"W-W-W-What were we all doing there?" Bill asked Beverly. Steph jumped slightly as she looked back at Beverly. Ever since the battle with It, the teenage girl had grown more paranoid and jumpy every now and then, although she was mostly calm around her friends. Despite this, she did jump at times, but tried her best to hide it.
Beverly shook her head at the question. "I just remember how we felt…. How scared we were…. I don't think I can ever forget that…." she replied in a thoughtful tone. She was staring down at the ground for a long moment, thinking about what she had just told them.
Steph, meanwhile, kept on thinking about the same thing. Beverly couldn't remember what she had seen completely, but she only remembered bits and pieces of it. If she were honest, what she said was enough for Steph to figure out what was going to happen.
Bill seemed to be thinking the same thing, suddenly leaning down to pick up something. He then stood up with a determined look on his face, which really shocked Steph. Then she glanced down and saw what was in his right hand.
A small shard of glass.
"Swear it," he began with a confident voice. "S-Swear… if It isn't dead… if It ever comes back… we'll come back too."
"This is where we made the blood oath," Steph spoke in the present, her hand linked to Bill's as they stood in the exact spot. The fact that it had been so long since this had happened resonated with the blonde woman greatly as she felt immense surprise.
"Yeah," Bill said, feeling just as shocked as she did. What floored the couple more was the fact that the area did not look different at all to them, although it obviously did at the same time. It was still the place where they had made their promise and it was the same for them. But it wouldn't be for other people.
"Oh, and Bev was right," Bill added, making Steph look at him in confusion. He smiled at the look on her face as he leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "You're so much prettier now…"
Steph couldn't hide her blush as she hid her face in her husband's chest. Bill chuckled as he ran a hand over her hair, knowing that she appreciated the compliment. As he did this, he looked around the area and an idea came into mind. It was something that he knew would make his wife happy, and it made the dumbest grin form on his face when he thought this. So, not hesitating, he tilted Steph's chin up so she could face him. At the look on his face, the woman raised her eyebrows, since she was completely puzzled.
"Do you remember when we were at your house a long time ago and we danced in your living room?" Bill asked out of nowhere, and Steph couldn't help but laugh at the memory, a look of amusement on her face. "Yeah, I do," she replied. "Why?"
Steph was completely confused but she chose to roll with it as Bill grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to him. "Well… I thought that this would be the perfect place to dance. If you want to, we can…"
The blonde woman beamed at her husband, happiness seeping into her soul for the first time in a while. There was a short silence before she nodded timidly. "I would love to," she mumbled in a shy voice. She looked back at Bill, who had a look of pure love in his eyes, and it made her look away in embarrassment as she put her arms around him. She rested her chin on his shoulder just like she had all those years ago, while he put his hands on her waist. They swayed back and forth, reliving memories and just smiling like the happy couple they were.
After a while, Bill shifted his position so he could look at Steph again. "If you want, we could throw a bit of a twist in this dance," he joked. "We can turn this into Dancing With the Stars…?
Steph shook her head instantly, although the smile never left her face. "No," she replied shortly.
"Yeah, let's do it," teased Bill as he took her hands again.
"Oh, heck no!" Steph chuckled, not able to hide her laughter as Bill prepared to spin her around, not even listening to her.
"Be careful," he warned playfully, and he gracefully took her right hand and spun her in a dazzling circle. She giggled when she landed back in his arms and they both laughed happily as they held each other, continuing to sway around the area. They were lost in what they were doing and in each other, focused on the dancing.
After a long time, Bill pulled back and locked eyes with Steph. It was then that he remembered something that had happened here so long ago; it was the start of everything between them, and he could possibly call it the best day of his life. He wanted to recreate the special moment, and he found it humorous that she seemed to not know what he was thinking. So, because of that, he decided to remind her.
His smile slowly faded, but only because it felt right to him, and he made them stop swaying. He then lifted his right hand and brushed his fingers against Steph's left cheekbone. Her face turned red again under his touch, and his smile returned. He then moved to where his fingers tenderly raked through her hair and she closed her eyes for a second.
After several agonizing seconds of stillness, and after Steph opened her eyes again, Bill finally made his move. Ignoring the erratic thumping of his heartbeat, he leaned in and
pressed his lips against hers.
Steph's heart stopped beating for several seconds at the sudden contact. She was frozen to the spot as she frantically thought of what she could do. She didn't know how to respond to this, too shocked that Bill had kissed her.
After several long seconds, he pulled away and she was finally able to breathe again. "Bill…" she whispered.
"N-No, Steph… l-l-listen to me, p-please…" he said, cutting her off as he took her hands in his. She nodded, looking down as she listened to whatever he had to say.
"W-We've been best friends f-f-f-for a very long time… I-I also noticed something weird between u-us. Steph, d-do you remember the day we all met B-B-Ben and helped him in the-the alleyway?" he asked.
Steph looked at him and nodded, her eyes now squinted in confusion. Bill looked back down at their connected hands.
"W-Well, when we got the supplies out of-of the pharmacy, I was standing i-in the entrance to the alleyway, and I-I-I saw you and Beverly walking towards me…"
Steph's heart skipped a beat, knowing what he was going to say next. Her lips twitched as she began to smile.
"Th-That was the moment I knew I l-l-l-liked you… in that way… Steph, it hit me like an oncoming train, and I couldn't ignore it," he said. "But as time went on, I grew very protective of you and I knew that after the battle with It, you were the one. You were always the one."
Steph's smile grew into a grin, her cheeks flushed crimson as she stared into his eyes. Bill wasn't stuttering once now, and she knew it was very serious.
"Listen to me…" he continued. "You are the strongest person I know, th-the bravest, and the most caring. Y-You have a motherly vibe to you, and I-I love that. I can't count how many times you've protected our friends and I…"
Although Steph was embarrassed, she couldn't help but agree with Bill. She had put her life on the line for her friends so many times during the past summer alone. It floored her, to be honest. But Bill's next words made her heart leap into her throat.
"B-But also…
you're the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world. And I would do anything in the world for you…"
Steph's heart was going a billion miles an hour in her chest as she exhaled a nervous breath she had held in for a long time. To remember those words that came from Bill a long time ago and to hear the ones he was saying to her now made her beyond happy. She was so happy that not even words could describe it. She wanted to look down, to shy away from his loving gaze.
But she didn't. She kept her eyes locked onto his.
"And I don't know what I would do without you in my life," Bill continued. "If I lost you a few days ago… I think I would die… I think I would —"
Steph suddenly cut Bill off when she planted her lips on his again. She didn't need him to speak anymore, already knowing the words he wanted to say. She slipped her arms around his neck and he put his hands on her back again to pull her closer to him.
Eventually, Steph deepened the kiss and their tongues were dancing as they held each other. Bill moved his left hand to her hair and he threaded his fingers through it again. The woman shivered in his arms at what he was doing, and she suddenly felt a little nervous again. She didn't know why, but it was kind of a good feeling to her. It might have been because she was reliving that amazing memory as well as kissing her husband again.
But, after a while, the two pulled away, desperately needing air. They were breathing heavily and it made them chuckle as they rested their foreheads against each other. They refused to let each other go, wanting to stay in that embrace forever.
"I love you," whispered Bill, his breathing finally calming down. "God, I love you…"
Steph smiled as she tightened her hold on her husband. "I love you, too…" she replied.
A/N: That was nice, wasn't it? I'm gonna miss writing this story, even though some of the process was absolute TORTURE! I think this may be the work I'm most proud of doing, which is awesome!
SO, thoughts on this chapter? Was it good? Was Richie's scene rushed or not? I need to know!
Was the ending good? I had it planned from the very beginning! The graveyard scene came into my mind when I was listening to the soundtrack for 'Titanic.' DO NOT JUDGE ME!
NOW, about the Q&A! I want it related to just THESE stories and nothing else! I have examples for questions: How did I create the character of Steph? Where did I get ideas for certain scenes? etc. If you want to ask questions just about Steph in general, or her relationship with Bill, go right ahead! I don't mind! Answers will be uploaded after epilogue, so stay tuned and ask questions!
Now, with that out of the way, I'm gonna go! I have to write the ending! *crosses fingers* I hope you guys like it when I upload it. The scene where Steph reads Stan's letter WILL be in it, don't worry! I couldn't find a way to fit it into this chapter lmao And there will be a surprise for the ending... wait, you might know what happens lol OH NO!
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, as well as the one to follow in a few days! Have a great day, and until next time!
- Hermione Romanoff