Notes: Whoa, someone made it this far in? Well, this is a little more than just dialogue this time. For anyone curious, the chapters are tangentially connected, but I'm not too fussed about them slotting together perfectly and you shouldn't be either. Or maybe you should. Whatever floats your boat.

Also, I think it's worthwhile stating that most everyone is out of character. Although, that should be clear at this point.

To velociraptorluvr, you are beautiful. Never change.

Sakura

Sasuke absolutely refused to shave.

Sure, his face would be itchy for the rest of the day, but the sharp jolt of pain that shot through his head and spine every time he so much as twitched convinced him he could use a little itchy-ness in his life.

Last night had been a mistake. In fact, he was certain that the whole of his previous day had been a mistake. There were instances in life where one was better served by just not even bothering to leave their bed. Less trouble that way, and fewer hangovers.

He glanced at himself in the mirror above the sink in his shitty bathroom, pleased to note that he only looked marginally as bad as he felt. That was something. And, from what he could recall, he hadn't thrown up last night at any point. He was growing, evolving.

Evolving into what exactly, he couldn't exactly be sure, but that was a thought for another time when it didn't feel like he had a thousand giant toads stomping around in his head.

He slowly, sluggishly showered and slipped into the first semi-clean clothes he could find. Afterwards, he tiredly ran his fingers through his hair, not even bothering to look for his comb, squinting through the open door at the clock on the far wall in his bedroom.

It was already past noon. Great.

If he could get his brain working properly for a minute without vibrating, he would try to figure out what day it was and which engagements he had undoubtedly failed to show up for. He quickly abandoned the exercise, focusing instead on making his way back to bed. He had certainly missed a lot already; a few more missed appointments wouldn't make a difference.

Perhaps he was dreaming, but he was certain there was a presence hovering over him and what felt like an insect crawling over his left cheek.

He huffed, shifting his head slightly, too lazy to swat the bug from his face and determined to ignore the presence. If it was an assassin, they would be doing him a favour by killing him. After all, you can't feel the thunderous throbbing in your head if you're dead.

"Oi!" a voice whispered sharply, followed by a finger prodding him in the chest. He felt quite tempted to grab the offending appendage and twist it, but thought better of it. Twisting fingers took too much effort, so he remained motionless, eyes still shut.

"Oi idiot, wake up!" the feminine voice said incessantly, a hand fully shaking him in a manner that sent pain shooting to the front of his skull. Damn it.

"Can I, uh, help you?" he croaked, cracking one eye open and noting how his voice sounded like he had taken sandpaper to his throat.

"Lunch?" Sakura asked, raising a pink brow. She was dressed in her usual red number, looming over him, the scent of her shampoo drifting to his nostrils. Her voice echoed in the quiet room, and he couldn't even be bothered to ponder how she had gotten into his apartment.

"I'm not hungry, thanks," he murmured, throwing an arm over his eyes to block out some of the light from his window, fully prepared to go back to sleep, "But help yourself to…whatever's in the fridge. Go nuts." He said generously in a dismissive tone, wondering if it would be too rude if he rolled over and completely ignored her.

"Oh, do you mean the pickles, the ketchup or the beer?" she asked incredulously "No thanks."

"Dibs on the beer." He whispered, groaning when he felt the bed shift slightly to accommodate her weight.

"Actually," she started diplomatically, "you were supposed to meet me for lunch."

Sasuke lifted his arm away from his eyes so he could peek at her face. She certainly did not look pleased.

"Shit. Yeah." He shifted, lifting his body slightly so he was balanced on the back of his forearms "Thing is, something came up." He said, regarding her with a blank look.

"Oh?" she inclined her head slightly in question.

"Yes. So I just…couldn't make it." He was in too much pain to even think up an excuse.

"You do understand that I'm in the room with you, right?" she asked, sounding as if she were speaking to an incredibly daft child.

"Sure." He shrugged, and winced slightly at the resulting pain.

"And you know that I can see you?"

"I figured. I mean, I wouldn't want to assume though." He wasn't sure he was liking where the conversation was going, or the fact that it was even taking place. And damn, why the hell was his face so itchy?

"What were you doing when I came in here, Sasuke?" she asked patiently, but her right eyebrow was twitching slightly which certainly wasn't a great sign.

"I don't know, I was sleeping." He reasoned, hoping that would explain away the entire situation to her, and bring the matter to a close so he could go back to sleep.

He realised his reflexes were slightly dulled when he failed to anticipate, and thusly, block the hard blow to his head.

Undoubtedly, that would do wonders for his aching head.

The restaurant table was sticky.

He shifted his head so it was his cheek rather than his forehead resting on the table. He narrowly avoided hitting the salt shaker with his chin, a fact he was very glad of; his face couldn't very well be itchy, sticky and covered in salt. That was too much, even for him.

He glanced up at Sakura who appeared to be waiting for him to respond to the question he had just asked that he had failed to hear over the sound of his throbbing head.

"Could…say that again?" he asked, wincing slightly when her face contorted in annoyance.

"Ugh, for heaven's sake Sasuke!"

"I don't really feel like steak," he grumbled, finally lifting his head from the table so he could converse properly with his dining companion. "But seeing as it's your treat" he shrugged facetiously.

"Steak? I didn't- …actually, you know what? Shut up." She shook her head tiredly "How much did you drink last night?"

He wanted to tell her that, judging by the sharp discomfort in his stomach, he probably drank a gallon of centipedes, but he couldn't exactly say that seeing as she said to shut up so he settled for giving her a blank stare.

"You're such a pain," she bemoaned, shaking her head "Eat something, it'll make you feel better."

"Order for me," he said, raising a hand to his head "I'm just going pass out on this table for a few hours."

"Suffer," she said, grinning brightly, standing up "I need to go to the bathroom. You better have finished ordering by the time I get back."

Sasuke sighed and quietly tried to figure out how many muscles he would need to move and thus how much effort it would take to motion the waitress over to his table.

Life could be a dick sometimes.

"So," Sakura began, pausing to slurp up some noodles "Heard you went on a date with Kiba. How was it, did you get a goodnight kiss?"

"I don't kiss and tell."

She looked very pleased with herself as she asked, "since when?"

"Since I started dating Kiba." He said sarcastically, watching her break apart a boiled egg in her bowl with her pair of chopsticks.

"Shame that," she retorted, a touch of amusement in her voice "Seriously though, why'd you get so wasted? Especially with Kiba of all people. That's really random, I'm pretty sure you sometimes forget that he exists."

"I got bored," he shrugged, not willing to extrapolate further why he went drinking in the first place "And what do you mean? Kiba is good people."

"Wow, the date went that well?" She joked and the Uchiha merely smirked, taking a small cautious bite of his food. "I'm going to be frank with you," she said, placing her eating utensils on the table, and he paused at the sudden shift in her tone "I have a slight inkling as to why you got so drunk."

"Is that so?" he asked, curious "Enlighten me, I don't actually remember much of what happened last night let alone why it happened."

"You were moping over your embarrassing crush," she said easily, taking a sip of her tea and gently placing the cup back on the table "Tell me I'm wrong." She challenged, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said dismissively, taking a sip of his own tea, wondering when the food would magically start to make him feel less like shit like Sakura said it would.

"Don't test me, Sasuke." She warned pleasantly.

"Fine, how did you know?"

"Female intuition." She said, smiling in a manner he found to be rather smug.

"Uh huh." He said skeptically, choosing not to touch on that.

"So, spill."

"Were we really supposed to meet for lunch today?" he asked suspiciously instead of complying with her request.

"Obviously. This discussion about your crush and our meeting for lunch? Pure coincidence."

"Right." He said sarcastically "Why do you even care? Bored already?"

"Whatever do you mean? I just care a lot about what's happening in my friend's life."

"Sure, so it's not that you're interfering because Lee's away and you have nothing better to do?"

"Wait, how did you know?"

"Female intuition," Sasuke answered, smirking at the annoyed look she shot him.

"Stop trying to change the subject," she accused "go on, spill."

He sighed and seriously contemplated just lying to get her to leave him alone.

Sometimes, when he was away and bored on long missions, he liked to regale the women brave enough to approach him in bars with tales of his birth to freak them out.

He would tell them he how was born on the hottest day ever recorded in April, and how his mother knew that titbit because she kept a detailed diary of the weather.

He would tell them how his father's eyes had closed for the last time just as his opened wide onto the world. Sometimes, he would tell them, he liked to pretend that he could remember that day, because it would mean he had gotten to meet his father just once.

Nine times out of ten, they believed him, which he thought was a sign of just how well versed he was at lying.

Sakura, however, could always see through him, no matter how convincing the lie, no matter how much detail he gave; meaning there was absolutely no way he could bluff his way out of telling her.

It was annoying really, he thought, because he on the other hand, had a difficult time deciphering when she was lying sometimes. She would turn on a disarming expression, batt her lashes and leave poor souls (such as himself) wondering if she was even capable of lying. She truly was a terrifying woman.

"You know," she said in a saccharine tone "we can either do this the easy way or the hard way." She smiled at him brightly, and he couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

"And what exactly is the hard way?" he asked, giving up on trying to eat his food. Perhaps it was fear, but he was starting to think perhaps he had been drinking centipedes last night.

"That would involve doing things that I don't care to bring up in public," her smile widened "people are eating."

"Fine," he relented "What do you want to know?"

Her smile was hardly what Sasuke would classify as friendly.

TBC

Please leave long and carefully worded reviews about cake.