The rapes are over, for now. There will be flashbacks and nightmares. Some of the nightmares won't be of what happened, but it will be horrible.
Hermione deals with rape how I did. I am putting myself as a victim and survivor into her. She will struggle. Please don't tell me her choices aren't what a survivor would do. Every survivor is different.
Trigger Warning for having a rape kit/exam done. After everything, I still consider having a rape kit done to be one of the worst nights of my life.
Hermione awoke with grass and dirt pressed into her face. She could feel the breeze moving her curls. She quickly pushed herself up and looked down.
"They put my clothes on..." Hermione was in disbelief. There was no surprise that they didn't heal her, she could still feel every bleeding welt and the burn of the chilli oil, but they had the decency to clothe her. She looked around the ground with hope and gasped when she saw that they had also left her wand by her, in tact no less.
Hermione heaved a sigh of relief. She could just say that she got turned around deep within the Department of Mysteries or that she had been stupified and had just awoken. No one would have to know that she had been raped. That word didn't even feel right. Rape didn't feel strong enough for what Dolohov had done to. She desperately wanted a shower, but she also wanted to make sure Dolohov didn't have any diseases and she wasn't going to get pregnant.
With a heavy sigh, she apparated to Muggle London. Even dreading what she was about to do, she was thankful that Dumbledore had told McGonagall to teach her how to apparate. Life was slightly easier when one didn't have to floo.
After walking for a short bit, Hermione stared at the hospital in front of her. The last time she was in a Muggle hospital, she had been saying goodbye to her dying grandfather. She supposed that this would be even more traumatic than that.
Hermione was frozen still with dread when a nurse bumped into her. The nurse looked up to say sorry when her mouth snapped shut. Hermione had mascara lines running down her face and her shirt's v-neck cut showed the top of some welts. These two things were only part of the reason the nurse had stopped in the midst of apology. Some of the lash marks were still weeping blood, causing dotted lines of blood to show up on her shirt.
The nurse was at a lost. She wasn't even a true nurse yet; she would be given her diploma in a few weeks. She had never handled an abuse case before, and the curly-haired girl in front of her was obviously abused. She watched as the girl's eyes darted towards the Accidents Emergencies Department doors.
"I'm Meira. I'm a nurse here." She chuckled. "But of course you could tell that. I mean, hello scrubs."
Hermione took a step back. This girl would laugh at her when she saw the damage. She would think that she deserved it. This nurse would ask her what she did wrong. Only stupid girls get themselves raped.
Meira stretched out a hand to try to grab Hermione and then thought better of it.
"Wait, no. Don't go. I can see that you need help, that you need to be seen. Please, let me help you. I'm sorry. I've just... I'm pretty green." Meira pleaded with her eyes. This girl needed help; she needed help now.
Hermione stared back at Meira and supposed she had come this far. Now that she was here, though, she wasn't sure that she could say the words, could ask for what she needed. Hermione's in-your-face Gryffindor courage had yet to return. Hermione tried to talk, but her voice froze in her throat. Instead, she settled for gesturing towards the AE department and nodding.
Meira smiled, "Alrighty, let's get you checked out. Do you want to tell me your name?"
Hermione simply shook her head and kept walking.
"No matter, we will get that sorted eventually. the most important thing right now is... well to get you seen. We will take a look at all those..."
Hermione halted and started to sob. Her arms wrapped tightly around her torso, causing her to gasp in pain and wobble on her feet.
"Okay. No talking. Let's just get you inside on a bed." Meira gently reached out for Hermione's elbow and led her towards the doors. The AE receptionist looked up, gasped, and rushed over.
Hermione backpedaled at the quickly oncoming woman. The woman immediately stopped walking and started talking to Meira, who simply shook her head and asked her what room she could put her charge in.
Hermione did not want to be here. This was a mistake. She should have just healed herself and gotten ahold of some Plan B. But since she was here now, she allowed herself to be ushered along and gently pushed down onto a bed.
"I know Asena scared you. I'm sorry. She's like a mother wolf to every single person who comes in here. She probably took one look at you and wanted to know who hurt you so she could hurt them back. No matter, she's off to find a doctor. I don't know if you heard, but I told her it had better be a woman."
All the while, Meira, who couldn't be much older than 21 Hermione realized, was fussing over her. Hermione had numbly allowed Meira to take off her shoes and swing her legs up onto the bed. As Meira continued talking, she was tucking a blanket around Hermione's legs.
"Th...Thank... ank... you." Hermione managed to stammer out. She needed to say something. She needed to say she needed Plan B. She needed to say that she... that she wanted these bloody clothes off of her.
"Oh, really. It's no problem. That's what I'm here for after all." At that, a knock sounded at the door and a kind-looking woman walked in.
The knock had made Hermione jump, though, and she had immediately brought her knees up under her chin and hugged them tight.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Callany. I'm a gynecologist here. I heard that you might be needing me."
Hermione whimpered and nodded, reaching out to grab Meira's hand.
"Would you mind letting go of our Meira, miss? I need her to check your vitals. You look like you've been through a lot." Hermione didn't even look at the doctor but stared up at Meira with the look of a terrified puppy. Ever so slowly, Hermione released Meira's hands. Meira instantly got to work, sliding the thermometer across her forehead and then charting the result.
When Meira reached out to put the blood pressure cuff around her arm, though, Hermione screamed and started kicking and trying to get away. Her flailing caused her sleeves to fall up her arm, exposing her wrists and the scratches and bruises that adorned them. Meira and Dr. Callany gave each other a look.
"Okay, dear. We will just do that later. Okay? We need you to sit still. Will you let us put an oxygen monitor on your finger? Just so we know of we need to give you oxygen? Okay? There it is. Just try to be as calm as possible." Dr. Callany soothingly said from the side of Hermione's bed.
Hermione gave a little nod and held out her pointer finger. That monitor wouldn't constrict her, and she could easily tear it off if she wanted to. After Meira put the oxygen monitor on Hermione's finger, Meira went to get a hospital gown from the cabinet.
"We need you to change into this gown. can you do that for us?" Dr. Callany asked as she took the gown from Meira and held it out to Hermione, who promptly shook her head.
"We can't exam you with your clothes..."
"Cut them." Hermione's voice was so raw that Meira and Dr. Callany wondered how she spoke at all.
"Dear, we don't have t..."
"I SAID CUT THEM OFF!!!" Immediately, Hermione started tearing at her clothes. She didn't want to wear anything that Dolohov had seen her in, let alone touched.
Meira rushed forward and grabbed Hermione's hands, "Okay, okay. We will cut them off. Please don't hurt yourself. Can you stand so we can cut them off?"
Hermione whimpered and nodded, slowly getting to her feet. Dr. Callany grabbed the guaze scissors from the cabinet and came over. Meira supported Hermione as Dr. Callany started to make the first cuts up the front of Hermione's shirt. Hermione, for her part, did not flinch or whimper. She just stood there with her eyes scrunched close. As soon as the fabric of her shirt fell down, Dr. Callany gasped and took a step back. Being a doctor in London, she had of course seen her fair share of sexual abuse, but this was... this was something on another level.
Hermione whimpered at the sound of horror coming from Dr. Callany and decided to just lean into Meira even more. Dr. Callany quickly regained her composure and came back, quickly snipping up the sleeves of Hermione's shirt.
"Do you want us to cut your bra or just take it off?
Hermione stared at her blankly. She wanted everything on her destroyed. Hell, she wanted to destroy herself along with her clothes. How was she supposed to live like this?
"Cut."
Dr. Callany nodded and made quick work of snipping the parts that needed it. Then, she looked at Hermione's jeans.
"I can tell you want to be out of your clothes as quickly as possible. It will be quicker if we take your jeans off instead of cutting them. We can do that for you. You just have to stand there." Everyone stood still for about a minute, Hermione whimpering and not bothering to cover her chest. After Hermione showed no sign of refusal, Dr. Callany undid Hermione's jeans and slid them and her underwear down Hermione's legs.
As soon as Hermione's jeans were on their way down her legs, Meira wrapped a warmed blanket around Hermione, causing her to release a sigh. When Hermione was wrapped in her blanket, Meira guided her back to her hospital bed and sat her on the edge.
"Can you tell us your name?" came Dr. Callany's voice from the end of the bed.
What would giving a name hurt? Hermione knew she was incredibly unlikely to ever be seen in this hospital ever again. "Hermione."
"Alright, very good. That's a beautiful name, Hermione. I'd really like to exam you. You can hold onto Meira the hole time unless I need her hands. Okay?"
That sounded anything but okay to Hermione. Yet another stranger wanted to touch her. But this was different, wasn't it? Dr. Callany didn't want to hurt her. She wanted to fix everything that Dolohov had broken. Hermione just did not want her seeing the blood on her vulva or the swollenness of her sex and bum hole. This WAS why she came to a muggle hospital, to get looked at and checked up, to have the comfort of a physical checkup, not a magical one. She couldn't let anyone ever know what had truly happened to her anyways, and it would have gotten out if she went to St. Mungo's.
Hermione just nodded, and Dr. Callany instantly lifted the blanket up to Hermione's knees and asked if she wanted to know what she was doing. Hermione quickly shook her head no, and then preceded to escape into her mind by reciting Hogwarts: A History by memory. Before she knew it, Meira was wrapping her elbow after drawing blood for the STD tests.
Hermione looked at her, and then escaped back into her mind and tried to name all the uses for Adder's Fork. She only came back around to noticing the world around her when Meira was repeatedly saying her name.
Hermione looked at her for a few seconds, which Meira mistakenly took as Hermione listening. Hermione was given an expectant look, but Meira put together that Hermione hadn't actually heard her.
"If you want to press charges or start an investigation, we need to take pictures. You don't need to decide today, but we do need to take them."
Hermione stared blankly at this nurse. A girl who hadn't judged her or blamed her for what happened to her. All Hermione wishes for was to go back to never having to know what that pity and protectiveness in one person's voice sounded like.
"Please tell me who did this to you, Hermione? I want to protect you. Are you safe at home?"
Hermione gave Meira a disgusted look through her fresh bout of tears. Of course she was safe at home. Her parents were some of the most loving people she knew, second only to Mrs. Weasley.
"When can I go home? They will notice I'm missing soon. I don't want them to worry."
Meira stared at Hermione. The words out of Hermione's mouth made it clear she had no intention of telling anyone what had happened to her.
"If you don't tell me when I can leave, I'll just leave now. With nothing but this blanket. I want to go home."
"Hermione... please... I think you should..."
"Do you want me leaving in this blanket? Do you honestly think I have any qualms about people seeing me naked!?! I know you saw my body. You think after being tortured I'd have qualms about seeing me in nothing but a fucking blanket!?!?"
Meira knew when her battle was lost. Hermione was not going to be swayed into staying. Meira could see it in Hermione's eyes; she would leave in nothing but that one hospital blanket if not given her answers.
"Will you wait for me to get back? I'll bring you a sweatshirt and joggers. Please. Wait." Without waiting for an answer, Meira took off, thankful that she had planned a workout for right after she got off in the morning. She'd get a new pair of runners later. Hermione needed them more than her.
When Meira flung herself back into Hermione's room, she deflated. Hermione was gone. The horribly abused, very broken shell of a girl had disappeared. Even the blanket was left behind. Meira glanced at the counter, Hermione's clothes were still. The only thing missing was that small pouch Hermione had clutched in her hand when Meira had run into her on the street.
Meira knew she should sound the alarm for a lost patient, but she simply couldn't find the energy. She just hoped that Hermione would get the help she needed.
I know that a doctor doing so much could be inaccurate, but I've seen doctors do everything a nurse does during a rape kit. Doctors that deal with sexual assault cases are incredibly compassionate. My own doctor was a male, which was terrifying, but he talked me through the entire thing.
Thanks for reading everyone. I know this was a rough one and could be very triggering. Please take care of yourself. If you need help, every first world country has a sexual assault hotline. Please join my Facebook page for my fan fictions: LiterarianRose FanFic.The next chapter will not be as heavy or triggering. I swear on my book collection.