Trigger warnings for the content, as always.
Please leave a review. I feel like some of you hate the direction this is going, which is your right as reader's, I'm just being super insecure.
Hermione blinked open at the jerking and squealing of the train. She wasn't in a bed. To be honest, her one hip hurt quite badly and her one arm was asleep. Her fingers also felt like she had been revising for hours on end. Her hand was the first thing she looked at, and she blinked even more when she saw her fingers were tightly gripping a high-end blazer. Logic told her there was a man in that blazer, and she slowly shifted to look up to his face. Shifting was not as easy as she expected, though. When she had tried to scoot a bit away from the chest she had fallen asleep on, the two arms circling her had tightened. Hermione had to settle for just tipping her head back to look at her pillow's face.
Hermione gasped.
Draco jerked awake to Hermione's gasp. His hand immediately finding his wand, and he pointed it towards the opening of the compartment. His other arm tightened even more around Hermione and pulled her into his chest. His first thought that someone was here to hurt Hermione. Then, he realized that her gasp was probably one of surprise. She had been crying so hard and so histerical that he wasn't surprised that she didn't remember exactly what had transpired before she fell into her sleep.
Draco looked down at Hermione and sighed. She was obviously confused and didn't understand his protective move.
"Malfoy... what... why are you here?"
Draco shook his head. He hoped she at least remembered telling him that Dolohov had... had whipped her. He had to fight himself from crying.
"I came to see if you were alright, Granger. I found you trying to jump off the train." He felt Hermione wince, and he looked up to the ceiling for help. Hoping that her memory would be jogged if he kept speaking.
"I pulled you back inside. You were acting crazy. Then..." Draco sighed heavily as he heard Hermione's ragged intake of breath.
"I told you." Hermione stated. "No no no no no! How could I be so stupid!" With those words, Hermione started pushing against Malfoy's chest. She had to get away. He would take advantage of knowing. He had been so kind, but she knew that wouldn't last forever. He would lash out. Then, her thoughts froze her fight to get away.
"Please. Please don't tell anyone!" Hermione managed to get her knees under her, and she clutched Malfoy's blazer. "I'll do anything you want. Just please don't tell anyone!" Hermione bit her lip in though, trying to steal herself, and she looked down at Malfoy's crotch. She just hoped that if she gave herself to him, he would keep his mouth shut. She knew that maybe he would give her to his friends, but that was a risk she would deal with if the time came.
"Gr... Hermione! Come off it. For the last time, I don't want a slave." Draco scoffed and rolled his eyes. Then, he settled his gaze on Hermione's face and was startled by what he saw there.
Hermione's eyes were full of terror, but her face was full of conviction. Draco knew in that instance that Hermione had survived Dolohov simply out of sheer stubbornness. Her body might be broken. She may be little more than a skeleton. She might flinch at every touch. Her mind might be warped to please, Draco wasn't sure the extent of this one. One thing was certain though. If the option between keeping her abuse a secret or someone telling everyone, the true Hermione Granger was back. She would do everything in her power to keep her secret. Her determination apparently extended to achieving the highest marks possible and keeping her trauma secret.
"Malfoy..." Hermione was begging now, just barely restraining herself from shaking Malfoy, "I'm begging you. Please!" Malfoy was just staring at her with his mouth hanging open, it was making her incredibly anxious. She had to make him promise to keep her secret. "Ke... Keep my secret, a..and you can have my m...mouth. I promise!"
Draco recoiled from that. His heart broke. His strong, brave witch... The one person he truly admired and adored, if from afar, and she was offering her mouth to him? To keep her secret? What had Dolohov done to her before she managed to escape?
Of course, Hermione thought he recoiled because she was a mudblood.
"I... Malfoy! I promise! I can be a good girl! I swear!" When Malfoy continued to stare at her without saying anything, Hermione released his blazer and curled in on herself, wrapping her thin arms around her bony torso. Her small body started shaking with sobs. Draco didn't know what to do. He tentatively reached out a hand to her back and started to make small circles.
"Hermione." Draco cleared his through. His voice cracking wouldn't help anything. "I don't want your mouth, and I don't want a slave." Hermione again began to protest that she would be good. "I believe you. I believe that you can be good." Hermione buried her head further between her knees, and Draco tried not to blanche at how much more pronounced the movement made her spine.
"Hermione. Look at me" Draco moved his hand to move her hair from hanging down one side of her face. "Please. Just look at me."
Hermione was surprised at the emotion in his voice. Why did he want her to look at him so badly. His begging was getting to the part of her that Dolohov had trained, though, and she was helpless against her instincts telling her to lift her head. Hesitantly, she did, and she saw Malfoy sigh in relief.
"Thank you." Draco knew he had to tread carefully. "I know you can be good because you are never anything but good." He watched Hermione wince at that, and he wanted to curse Dolohov wherever he was. Voldemort was gone. Draco could finally chase what he really wanted, and Dolohov had broken so much of her. If Draco ever saw the man, Dolohov would be lucky to be hulled away alive.
"I don't want your mouth or you as a slave because I don't need it." Shit. That wasn't what he meant. That sounded like he already had a slave. "I don't need it because I don't want your body given to me just to keep me quiet."
"Please! You can't tell! No one knows!"
"Shush! You insufferable witch! I'm not going to tell anyone." Hermione stared at him in disbelief as she watched him worriedly run a hand though his hair. She was struck with how handsome he was when he didn't have a scowl across his features, and she couldn't help but gasp.
"I won't tell anyone, but you have to promise me something."
Hermione instantly hung her head. This was it. He would ask her to do something humiliating, and she would do it, if just to keep her secret. Anyone finding out would be the worst possible course her life could take.
"I just want you to eat. Promise me you won't wither away into nothing." Hermione stared at him. That... That was not humiliating. He wanted her to promise to take care of herself? As it was, she wasn't sure she could do it. She hadn't really realized that she wasn't eating, per se. She just didn't have an appetite. When she did eat, it made her feel sick. Was food making her sick just because she wasn't used to eating? Or was food making her sick because having anything in her mouth reminded her of that horrible night.
"I don't need to hear you promise me. I just want you to take care of yourself." Draco watched as tears ran down her face. She had sat up slightly, so she was sitting on her haunches with her arms wrapped around herself. He sighed. He had seen the wheels turning in her head. He couldn't imagine how hard it must be to think without any energy to do so. He was about to speak again when the train door slid open.
"Oi! Malfoy, mate!... What the hell?"
Draco watched Hermione flinch and wrap her arms tighter around herself, her waist so small that her hands were gripping the back of her own waist. Then, he looked up at Theo. If anyone was going to find him lounging on the floor with Hermione Granger a complete wreck, he would have wanted it to be Theo. He was just happy it wasn't one of the dimwitted duo that she called friends. As it was, Draco still shook his head at his friend.
"Malfoy... the train is pulling into the station. I... I was coming to ask you something." Theo shot a worried look at Hermione's back, when the hell had she gotten so small? Had she always been this small?
Draco sighed. Hermione needed to pull herself together. The train really was pulling into King's Cross, and she would need to go back to her friends to avoid suspicion. She could say she fell asleep back here, which was the truth. He reached out for her, but when her terrified eyes flashed to his, he dropped his hand.
"What do you want, Nott?" He winced at the tone of his voice, especially because Hermione had curved into herself a little bit more at the sound of his voice, a movement that did not go unnoticed by Theo.
"I..." Draco watched Theo rub the back of his neck, a nervous habit his friend had picked up.
"Theo. What do you want?" Draco saw Hermione's eyes dash up at him in surprise. There was a gentleness in his voice, no malice. She was surprised that he had used Nott's first name; she had only ever heard him use his friend's last names. She heard Theo's huge intake of breath from the front of the compartment.
"I know you know that my father was arrested with yours. I was hoping I could stay at Malfoy Manor instead of going back to Nott Estates. It's huge, and I don't want to be there by myself." Theo rushed through his words, saying them so fast that Hermione's panicked brain only picked up some of what he had said. She looked at Malfoy for answers on what Theo has said, and whimpered when he moved to stand. Malfoy was the enemy she knew. If he moved away from her, would Theo move in?
Draco froze in his move to get up and then settled back on the floor. He schooled his features so that Theo wouldn't ask anymore questions than he already had.
"Yeah, mate. That's fine. Mother will love having another person to simultaneously spoil and boss around. You know she loves you." Draco stated nonchalantly. He tried to keep his eyes on Theo, but Hermione wouldn't move. Save her initial flinch and rare glances at him, she had stayed perfectly still. He was getting worried that she wouldn't move out of the train car or even the car.
"Thanks. I'll tell the elves to come over to the manor. They will love seeing some of their family again. I might give them leave for a bit. Father was worse to them than he was to me." Theo sighed and made to turn out of the train car, but hesitated. He shot a worried glance at Granger, and Draco wished he would just leave.
"Hey, Granger." Hermione flinched when she heard Theo address her directly. She didn't move to look at him though. Maybe he would just go away. "You... You don't look right. Are you okay?"
Draco heaved a sigh. He knew Theo was asking because it was the right thing to do, but did he really have to ask if the walking skeleton that was Hermione Granger was alright? Obviously, she was not.
"She's fine, Nott." Hermione flinched and curled even further towards her legs. Draco brought a hand up to his hair and thumped his head back against the wall. Theo would not believe that she was alright after that.
"Gra...Hermione. Tell Theo you are fine." Hermione glanced up at Malfoy. She wasn't fine, but she didn't want Nott knowing that. Her thoughts were a mess. She couldn't think clearly.
What if Nott told people that she was back here? She opened her mouth to say something, but instead let out a choked sob, which had Theo moving forward. His mother may have died a long time ago, but she still raised him to care about a crying witch. He landed on his knees rather harshly slightly behind Hermione, causing her to jump and unconsciously scoot closer to Malfoy, bumping into his extended leg. Draco instantly had a hand on her hair again, playing with her curls.
Theo, seeing Draco's hand comforting her, thought he could possibly soothe her by rubbing her shoulder. Just as his hand made contact with Granger, she was screaming and scrambling onto Draco's lap. A move that had Draco looking a bit like a deer in headlights and also like a protector. Theo's hand recoiled so quickly, that he hit himself in the chest. After the immediate shock, Draco wrapped his arms tightly around Hermione while she cowered in his chest. He could just barely make out her please to not let Theo use her, She didn't want to be a slave, and she didn't want him to know or tell anyone. He stared down at her lifeless hair and sighed. His witch was extremely broken.
"Hermione." Draco tried to get her to stop murmuring into his chest so she would listen. He shook his shoulder and his chest on the side she decided to hide in. "Listen to me. Please."
Draco could feel Theo's look of confusion on him, and it was just making this more difficult. Hermione just continued making her pleas to his chest.
"Hermione. Listen! For crying out loud, witch." That had Hermione's breath hitching, and she seemed to be listening to what he was saying.
"Theo doesn't want you. He's not like that. I promise." Hermione barked out a laugh at that. "Okay. My promises mean nothing to you. I get that. But listen." Hermione just pulled herself tighter into Malfoy's chest. Part of her was finally starting to believe that he didn't want her body. But if he kept talking, Nott was going to figure it out, and that terrified her.
"Mate... what the..."
"Theodore Nott. If you know what's good for you, you will shut up. Or you can spend the summer at your own house." Draco really needed Theo to shut up. Every time he spoke, Hermione clutched his blazer tighter and burrowed further into his chest. He was beginning to wonder if he was going to have a bruise with Hermione's facial features in his chest. Draco just looked down at her again and lifted a hand to play with her curls.
"Actually, Theo. Answer this." He stuck his friend with a vicious glare and then moved to tap Hermione's chin with a curved finger. "Hermione. I need you to listen to his answer. Okay?" He stared down at her until she made a small sound that sounded like agreement.
"Theo. Do you want to use Hermione's body? Would fucking her in any way be beneficial to you? And lastly, will you to tell anyone what you saw today?"
Theo just stared at his best mate completely gobsmacked. What the fuck was Draco getting at? Fuck Granger? Definitely not. He barely knew the girl. Besides, he had his eye on another witch, Draco even knew who it was. Why did he need this answered? He stared at Hermione and was even more shocked when she scrambled the rest of the way across Draco's lap and his herself against his side and began to whimper. What the bloody hell was happening.
Draco was loosing his temper. He knew Theo didn't want Hermione. He knew who Theo really wanted. He also knew Theo would never take an unwilling witch into his bed. As Theo continued to just open and close his mouth. Draco tightened his arm around Hermione and growled under his breath.
"God damnit, Theo! Answer the questions!" Draco knew raising his voice would startle Hermione, but he needed Theo to answer.
"I...Draco, you know I don't want Granger! You know who I like. Why would I muck that up with Granger..." Theo was stammering out. He recognized in that moment that Draco had entered his protective mode, which was both interesting and dangerous, as he was the one that Draco was in the defense towards.
Hermione felt Draco's sigh and then felt his breath on the top of her head.
"See, Hermione. Theo doesn't want to use you. You're safe with him." He felt Hermione's body begin to relax just a little bit. "You don't need to be scared of Theo. I'll make it clear that he can't tell anyone that you are such a wreck." He continued to murmur to her, causing her to relax just a little bit more into his side. He was happy when he saw her neck relax and her head not be tucked so tightly downwards. That's when he heard Theo cough. His eyes stayed on Hermione, and when she didn't tense up at the sound of Theo, he lifted his gaze to his friend, telling him with his eyes that he could speak.
"Umm... for what it's worth, Granger. I'm not going to tell anyone. But... you might want to go find your friends... They are probably looking for you." Theo began to rub his neck again. He was so out of his league. If only mother were still alive. He cleared his throat and finished what he had wanted to say. "They'll want answers if you don't go back."
Hermione sniffled and nodded. Harry and Ron would be insufferable if they didn't find her soon. Well, Harry was probably to busy flirting with Ginny to realize she was absent. Ron would be glowering. She had essentially run away when he was trying to make out with her. She felt Malfoy move beneath her, and she finally looked back up at his face. She let out a ragged breath when their eyes met; he looked so concerned for her.
"Do you think you can stand, Hermione?"
She nodded. She might be stiff, but she was calling on her strength now. If she could apparate to Muggle London without splinching herself and walk into a hospital after what Dolohov did, she could walk out of a train car. Her eyes darted to the end of the train. She should say thank you, shouldn't she? What do you say to someone who saved you from killing yourself? Draco saw where she was looking and tried not to stiffen. He reluctantly removed his arms from around Hermione. He wanted to hold her until all the parts of her came back together. He also wanted to feed her.
He let his hands fall to his lap as he watched Hermione use his shoulder and then the wall to stand up. When she staggered a bit on her way past Theo, he instantly began to reach out to steady it, but dropped his hand when he thought better of it. Draco watched fretfully as she reached the end of the train car. She seemed to hesitate and let out a shaky breath. He stared at her face when she turned to him.
"Thank... Thank you for stopping me..." and then with one final breath, she opened the train door and walked away.
Draco sagged against the wall and brought his one leg up to his chest. He propped his arm on his knee and dragged his hand roughly through his hair. He had stopped Hermione from jumping of the train. She had admitted that Dolohov had whipped her. He knew Dolohov had done more than that, though. He had held her while she sobbed, while she slept. He had made her promise him that she wouldn't wither away from not eating. He had protected her from the imaginary threat of Theo. He had comforted her through her terror. That was not what their first real conversation was supposed to be like.
Theo cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Draco, but what the fuck was that!?!"
Draco just stared back at his friend. He couldn't tell Theo, not everything at least. Would saying Dolohov's name be too much of a give away? His thoughts were racing. He needed to tell somebody, but who? He simply could not handle this on his own. He felt like his own heart was being ripped apart.
"Mate. You made me tell her I wouldn't rape her! Why would she think I would do that? Or that in exchange I wouldn't tell anyone that she was a crying mess and you were comforting her." Theo had gotten up and started pacing. None of it made sense. None of it. Gryffindor's princess did not cower at the feet of a Slytherin. She certainly didn't seek comfort from Slytherin's prince. And why would she immediately jump to sex as a way of keeping him quiet? Any person worth their salt would bargain her doing their homework if they wanted something from her in return for their silence. Why would she be terrified of sex?
Draco watched as Theo paced and then froze.
"Draco... No. No, she wasn't. She's too brilliant. No no no. I don't believe it." He fell to his knees where he stood, and Draco watched all the color drain out of his friend's face. "She was raped."
Draco just sat there with his hand twisted in his hair. So, he didn't have to say anything. He wasn't surprised. Theo was smart. He was extremely logical. Draco wasn't surprised that he had figured it out.
"No. She wasn't... she's a force to be reckoned with. She wasn't just raped was she? No. Only torture would have her this fucked up in the head... Offering herself in return for people's silence." Theo just sat there shaking his head back and forth. Who would do this? He wracked his brain for answers. He stared at Draco, but Draco just stared at the wall across from him. That's when it hit him. He knew who it was. Draco had seen horrors beyond measure. Voldemort had loved torturing Narcissa to get Lucius to do his bidding. There was only one person who was worst than Voldemort in the breaking of women department.
"No..." Theo basically breathed out. Draco's eyes darted to his friend. Theo had apparently thought through the options. "That's why... that's why he wasn't caught. He wasn't at the Ministry anymore. That's where she had disappeared to." Theo just shook his head back and forth, not wanting to believe it but knowing nothing else could be true. Draco just continued to stare at him.
"But... Crabbe's father got away too... You don't thin..." Before Theo could finish his sentence, Draco was on his feet, screaming, and sending his fist through the wall of the hallway.
"I guess you didn't think of it." Theo sighed as he hung his head. "Dolohov and Crabbe Sr.. It's no wonder she's messed up."
Theo watched Draco walk to the very back of the train and throw open the door. His hands gripped the railing hard, turning his knuckles white.
"I will kill them, Theo. They are dead. They hurt my witch, and they will pay."
Ope. Looks like another chapter is done. Not where I was planning to go with this chapter... but it happened. I'm pretty happy with the finished product.Please review!