Lesson Zero
Twilight's POV
According to Night, Twilight always needs to know everything she was going to do to an almost obsessive point. Right now, she was making a to-do list for today and everything was in place. "Great. Now that we've completed the checklist of things we need to create a checklist, we can make my checklist of the things I have to get done by the end of the day. Ready?" Twilight asked Spike.
"Ready" Spike answered, holding the parchment for the list.
"Item one: create a checklist of the things I have to accomplish by the end of the day," Twilight started. She then heard Spike groan. After a little more than an hour, Twilight was in town taking care of everything. "How are we doing, Spike?" she asked after a while.
"Let's see… We've already dropped off your cape at the cleaners, returned the blackboard you borrowed from Cheerilee, ordered new parchment and quills from the stationery shop…" Spike started.
"Hmm… Seems like we just placed an order for those a few days ago," Twilight realized.
"Can't imagine why we go through so many of them," Spike commented while looking at the long tail of parchment.
"Sounds like we're ahead of schedule. What's next?" Twilight asked.
"Cupcakes!" Spike said excitedly. The two headed to Sugar Cube Corner and Ms. Cake gave Twilight then cupcakes. She opened the box to check and noticed that there was one extra.
"Um, I only ordered fourteen," Twilight told Ms. Cake.
"Oh you did, but we have the boxes for fifteen so I decided to give out an extra," Ms. Cake explained.
"Oh, that was very thoughtful of you. It's just some of the icing from the extra cupcake is getting all over the one next to it. See?" Twilight stated and showed Ms. Cake, who looked confused, which prompted Twilight to continue. "It's just that I'm planning on sharing these at a picnic later and I don't want anypony to feel like somepony else is getting more icing."
"Oh, no… of course not," Ms. Cake responded. Twilight then tried to even out the icing and when she was done, the cupcakes had barely any icing on them.
"Do I want to know why Spike is covered in icing?" a voice behind Twilight asked. Twilight turned and saw Night standing in the entrance. Twilight then looked at Spike and noticed that he indeed was covered in icing. "Looks like we're going to have to add 'give a baby dragon a bath' to our list," Twilight told Spike. Spike then cleaned himself up with his tongue in one massive movement.
"Ok, that was pretty cool," Night commented.
"A little gross though," Twilight added. Spike merely shrugged and the three were thankfully back at the library before noon.
"Looks like that's everything," Spike said.
"Almost everything," Twilight responded.
"Well, the 'Wake up Night if he's still asleep' is done. 'Triple-check checklist to make sure we didn't miss anything when we double-checked the checklist! Uh… check," Spike said. He then dropped the quill in pain. "I've been holding that quill so long, I've got a claw cramp! Well, good thing we don't have anything to report to Princess Celestia this week… I don't think I could write another word!" Spike then commented.
"We haven't sent a letter to Princess Celestia this week?!" Twilight suddenly asked.
"Uh oh," Night muttered.
"Why? Is that bad?" Spike asked.
"Bad? BAD? Of course it's bad! I'm supposed to send Princess Celestia a letter every week, telling her about a lesson I've learned about friendship! Not every other week, not every ten days, every… single… week!" Twilight told him. Now she was freaking out and started to look for her calendar. "Where's my calendar, where's my calendar?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"Where it… always is," Spike said, holding it up. Twilight then used her levitation to bring the calendar over to her, and Spike, who was still holding it, slammed into the stand Twilight was using.
"When did we asked the last one?" Twilight asked as she started looking through the pages.
"Last Tuesday, I think," Night responded.
"And today is… " Twilight started as she got to the page she was looking for.
"Tuesday," Spike responded. Twilight was now in "Panic full-throttle mode", as Night called it, and she sprinted to the window to see the sun almost directly above her.
"If I don't send her a letter by sundown, I'll be… tardy!" Twilight panicked.
"What's that now?" Spike asked.
"Tar-dy, Spike! Late, I'll be late! Oh, how could I let this happen? I'm usually so organized. I've never been late with an assignment," Twilight said as she fell on her bed and threw the blanket over her.
"Twilight, calm down. Celestia will be fine with a day late assignment. You've got a perfect track record. Besides, I've lost count on how many late assignments I've gotten, and I'm fine," Night told her.
"One, you don't know that! Two, I want to keep that perfect track record! And three, THIS ISN'T EARTH!" Twilight shouted in a panic. Night didn't respond as she continued. "And this is the ruler of Equestria we're talking about. The pony who holds my fate in her hooves! What if she doesn't forgive me? What if instead she starts thinking I'm not taking my studies on friendship seriously? What if she makes me come back to Canterlot and puts me back in school and makes me prove I've been taking them seriously by giving me a test?! What if I don't pass?! What if I fail and she keeps us apart, Night?" Twilight ranted.
"Twilight, please calm down," Night tried to reassure her.
"She's my teacher. Do you know what teachers do to students who don't pass? They send them back a grade! But she won't just send me back a grade. She'll send me back to… magic kindergarten," Twilight finished. She could already hear the laughs the fillies would give her. She then felt Night's hoof on her shoulder.
"Twilight, please, calm down. Celestia would never go that far, even in a million years," Night told her.
"You're right. I have no reason to worry. Because I'm going to solve a friend's problem and get that letter to Princess Celestia before sundown!" Twilight proclaimed, she then turned to Night and Spike. "So... got any problems, troubles, conundrums, or any other sort of issues, major or minor, that I, as a good friend, and marefriend, could help you solve?" Twilight asked them. The two thought for a bit and came up with nothing. "Then it looks like I'm going to have to find somepony who does," Twilight declared as she left the library. "You've got this, Twilight. You still have plenty of time to get that letter to Princess Celestia! Has to be somepony who needs the help of a good friend!" Twilight then heard a loud scream for Rarity. Twilight ran over to her boutique and kicked the door open. "Don't worry Rarity! I'm here!"
"Why me-e-e-e-e-ee… WHYYYY?! Why? Why-y?! And of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!" Rarity stated through her sobbing.
"What's happened? Are you alright?" Twilight asked.
"I've lost my diamond-encrusted purple ribbon! I have searched high, and I have searched low. Low and high! High and low! But I can't find it anywhere! Anywhe-e-e-e-ere! How can I possibly finish my latest creation if I can't find it?!" Rarity told her. Twilight saw the opportunity.
"Never fear, Rarity. As your friend, I'll do my best to help you fi—" Twilight started.
"Oh, there it is. Isn't always the last place you look?" Rarity interrupted, finding the ribbon on the floor.
"So… you just lost your ribbon?" Twilight asked.
"Mm-hm!" Rarity answered.
"But now you've found it?"
"Yuh-huh."
"And nothing else is bothering you? Nothing that I, as a good friend, could help you with?" Twilight asked hopefully.
"Hmm… there is one thing;" Rarity answered.
"Yes?" Twilight asked excitedly.
"I think I left my measuring tape under the fabric over there. Could you get that for me?" Rarity asked. Twilight merely sighed.
"Measuring tape? Sure," Twilight said as she levitated the object to Rarity and left.
"Twilight! There you are," Night said as he appeared beside her.
"Oh, hey Night. What's up?" Twilight asked.
"Just making sure everything's going alright," Night told her.
"Well, Rarity didn't have a problem. But I'm sure one of our other friends will need me," Twilight told him. The two then heard smashing and crashing over at Sweet Apple Acres. The two headed over and saw Rainbow smashing apart a shed on Applejack's farm. And Applejack was nowhere to be seen. "Rainbow must be angry with Applejack! She must hate her guts! How wonderful!" Twilight said excitedly.
"You are having some serious issues right now," Night told her. Twilight ignored him and ran over to stop Rainbow.
"Rainbow Dash! Stop!" Twilight called out, using her magic on Rainbow tail to stop her. "Listen, Rainbow. I know you're upset with Applejack, but don't worry. Whatever it is that has come between you two, I'm sure that I, as a good friend, can help you resolve your problems."
"Uh, what are you talking about?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don't have to hide your feelings from me! I can tell you two must've had a terrible fight," Twilight told her. Twilight then got Rainbow on a bench and teleported a pen, notepad, and spectacles while pulling her mane up. "Now, why don't you tell me all about your issues with Applejack," Twilight started.
"I don't have any issues with Applejack," Rainbow answered.
"You don't? Then why are you destroying her property?" Twilight asked.
"Because she asked me to. Right, Applejack?" Rainbow called out.
"Yes, ma'am," Applejack answered from a ditch nearby. "I wanted to put up a new barn, but this one's gotta come down first," Applejack explained. Twilight then noticed that Night was looking at her with an odd look on his face.
"Alright Night, what's up?" Twilight asked.
"It's… a little embarrassing," Night answered.
"Say it," Twilight told him, a little curious.
"Well, that hairstyle you had when you were 'counseling' Rainbow looked… motherly," Night told her. Twilight quickly realized what Night was thinking and put her mane back to normal, blushing heavily.
"Getting ahead of ourselves are we?" Applejack asked them with amusement in her voice. Rainbow didn't say anything but looked confused.
"Applejack!" Night and Twilight shouted.
"Hehe. Now get back to it, R.D," Applejack said.
"You got it, boss!" Rainbow said and flew high above the old shed.
"I'd take cover if I were you two," Applejack told Night and Twilight. The two jumped into the ditch as Rainbow let loose a loud cry and slammed into the shed, causing a rainbow-colored mushroom explosion.
"Cool! Rainbow nuke!" Night commented. Twilight immediately assumed that was an Earth-joke and sighed as she walked away.
"So… about earlier…" Twilight started.
"Let's… just not discuss it," Night answered. Twilight nodded and the two headed to Fluttershy's.
"I can't believe I wasted all that time. I should have just come here first. Fluttershy always has some fear she's trying to get over. As a good friend, I'll be able to help her," Twilight said confidently. Looking in Fluttershy's backyard, she saw something that shocked her. Fluttershy was standing face to face with a bear. The bear roared at Fluttershy and Fluttershy dove underneath it before coming back and kicking the bear right in its back. Fluttershy then threw the bears foot back at an uncomfortable-looking angle before twisting the bear's neck just short of snapping.
"That. Was. Awesome! Why haven't we seen that before?" Night asked Twilight, who was too stunned to respond.
"How can this be happening? Of all the days she had to stop being such a scaredy-pony, she had to pick today?! What am I going to do?!" Twilight wondered as the two left.
Ponyville Park: Night's POV
Things were really getting out of hoof now. Twilight was currently lying down on a bench talking to herself and, in Night's opinion, was starting to go crazy while ignoring Night's attempts to comfort her. "It's fine. It'll all be fine. The day isn't over yet. But it will be over soon!" Twilight said, her normally flat mane sticking out in places now. Twilight then started crying into a nearby puddle. "It'll be all over! My time in Ponyville! My advanced studies! Being with Night! Nono. You're a good student. You can do this. Ooh! But what if I can't? You can! You just have to keep it together. Keep. It. Together!" Twilight told her reflection.
"Twilight, please listen to me. You have to calm down. You can't help anypony like this, much less yourself" Night told her, trying to keep his voice calm. Twilight's freak out and flirting with insanity were starting to drive him crazy.
"I am calm! But I can't find anypony who needs help," Twilight told him. Twilight then looked at something fearfully and Night turned to see three fillies playing jump-rope laughing in squealing in excitement.
"Twilight! Snap out of it!" Night shouted. Twilight then looked at him, her expression clearing a bit. "Look, I think I found a pony who needs help," Night told her as Spike arrived with the box of cupcakes.
"You did?! Who?!" Twilight asked, getting in Night's face.
"It's you," Night answered. Twilight looked at him shocked.
"I am perfectly fine, nothing is going wrong right now!" Twilight shouted at him. Night hoof-palmed mentally but didn't say anything. It was clear the only thing he could do was damage control. Twilight won't listen to him like this.
"Twilight, I'm really worried. I mean this letter thing is really getting to you. Here," Spike told her as he gave her the box. "You've been so anxious all day that you completely forgot about the picnic. Why don't you just relax and go hang out with—" Spike started.
"The picnic!" Twilight said, her expression scaring Night and Spike, as she levitated the box. "I should go see my friends!"
"I'm glad you've come to your senses," Spike said proudly.
"Don't go patting yourself on the back yet Spike. Send a warning to Celestia about what's happening and tell her not to come here till the sun sets if she hasn't received Twilight's letter by then. I'll try to keep Twilight from doing something insane," Night told Spike. Spike nodded and headed back while Night jumped into the air to follow Twilight. When he caught up, Twilight was at the picnic talking to the rest of their friends.
"My letter to Princess Celestia is almost overdue, and I haven't learned anything about friendship!" Twilight told them. Their friends let off a sigh of relief. Night then landed and listened.
"Oh, thank goodness. I thought something really awful had happened," Fluttershy said. Night didn't know what kind of noise Twilight made at that, but it was clearly a noise of shock.
"Something awful has happened! If I don't turn in the letter on time, I'll be tardy! TARDY!" Twilight told them, teleporting after every sentence. Night tried to signal that they shouldn't laugh, but they didn't get the message and started giggling. Twilight didn't respond to that well as she looked mad.
"No offense, sugarcube, but it looks like somepony's gettin' themselves all worked up over nothin'," Applejack told Twilight.
"Aaand, now we're in trouble," Night realized.
"This is not nothing. This is everything. I need you guys to help me find somepony with a problem I can fix before sundown! My whole life depends on it!" Twilight shouted. Night was still trying to signal his friends, but their focus was on Twilight.
"Oh, Twilight, you're such a crack-up!" Pinkie commented as she started laughing.
"Come on now. Have a seat and stop sweatin' the small stuff," Applejack requested. Twilight, clearly annoyed at this point, ran off and teleported somewhere.
"That, was the single most stupidest thing you all could have possibly done in that scenario," Night pointed out.
"What do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked.
"Can you not see that this whole thing is eating at her? I've been trying to calm her down for hours and it's only gotten worse. You know it's bad if she's not listening to me," Night told them.
"Night, it's great that you care and all, but this is Twilight, you know how she is," Applejack tried to reassure him.
"Why am I even bothering? You all clearly can't see how this is affecting her. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to find Twilight before this gets any worse," Night told them before he flew into the air. His first guess on where she was was the library. He headed over there to find out that Twilight wasn't there. But, thankfully, Spike was.
"Night! It's gotten worse!" Spike told him in a panic.
"Whoa, Spike, calm down," Night told him. Spike took a few deep breaths before continuing.
"Twilight's gotten worse. She's decided that if she can't find a friendship problem, she's going to make one!"
"Did you send the letter to Celestia?" Night asked.
"I just finished when you walked in. I was just about to send it," Spike answered.
"Alright, add in what's just happened and send it. I'll stop this before things get too out of control," Night told him.
"On your own?" Spike asked.
"I've got my powers. I can handle this," Night told him and ran out the door. Looking for Twilight, he heard some commotion from the park and headed over there. He couldn't find Twilight, but he did find his friends. While he debated about whether or not to tell them, the commotion, which turned out to be a huge brawl over something, appeared next to them and Twilight was not too far behind it. He landed beside them, hoping for answers. "What's going on?" Night asked.
"I enchanted my Smarty Pants Doll and now everypony's fighting over her," Twilight answered.
"Why would you enchant your doll?" Fluttershy asked concerned.
"Oh, I had to do something! I had nothing to report to Princess Celestia! I thought if I couldn't find a problem, I'd make a problem! The day is almost over!" Twilight answered.
"Not almost!" Applejack pointed out as the sun set over the horizon.
"Twilight Sparkle!" Celestia's voice called out as she appeared over them.
"Whoa nelly," Applejack commented. Celestia then cast the counterspell and the ponies stopped fighting and seemed embarrassed on what they were fighting over. Celestia then landed in front of the group as Twilight bowed as low as her body would let her.
"Night, come with me for a moment," Celestia said before turning to Twilight. "Meet me in the library." The scorn and disappointment were clear as day in her voice. Celestia then entered the air and Night looked at Twilight with a look that he hoped said, "No matter what happens, we'll be together" as he took off behind his sister. Flying alongside her, Night didn't trust himself to speak. "Thank you for telling me what was going on. This will make things easier," Celestia told Night as they approached the library. When they enter, Night was going to find Spike, but Celestia insisted that he should be there when Twilight arrived. It didn't take her long, and thankfully Night was able to slip away and stood by Spike where they could hear what was happening.
"I'm so sorry princess," Twilight apologized.
"As you should be," Celestia said scornfully before sighing. "I thought you were better than this Twilight," she told her.
"So, what's going to happen to me?" Twilight asked.
"What do you mean? Nothing's going to happen to you," Celestia answered.
"But… but… I'm supposed to send you a letter about friendship every week. I missed the deadline. I'm a bad student! I'm… tardy!" Twilight admitted.
"You are a wonderful student, Twilight. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that," Celestia told her.
"Really?" Twilight asked. Night then heard the door open and Rainbow's voice.
"Wait!" she called out.
"You can't punish her!" Pinkie's voice continued.
"It wasn't her fault!" Applejack's voice admitted.
"I'm listening," Celestia said. Night, finally working up the guts, looked around the corner and saw the whole gang there.
"Please, your Highness. We all saw that Twilight was upset," Fluttershy started.
"But we thought that the thing she was worrying about wasn't worth worrying about," Rainbow admitted.
"So when she ran off all worked up, not a single one of us tried to stop her," Applejack told Celestia, referring to the group.
"As Twilight's good friends, we should have taken her feelings seriously and been there for her!" Rarity admitted.
"Please don't take her away from us just because we were too insensitive to help her," Fluttershy pleaded. Celestia looked at them all thoughtfully.
"Looks like you all learned a pretty valuable lesson today," Celestia told them. The group nodded in response. "Very well. I'll forget Twilight's 'punishment' on one condition. From this day forth, I would like you all to report to me your findings on the magic of friendship when, and only when, you happen to discover them." Celestia was about to leave when Twilight ran up to her.
"Princess Celestia, wait! How did you know I was in trouble?" Twilight asked.
"Night and Spike made me aware that you were letting your fears get the best of you. I commend them for taking your feelings seriously. Now, if you will all excuse me, I must return to Canterlot. I'm expecting some mail," Celestia answered. Night and Spike fully revealed themselves and Twilight smiled. Celestia then took off and teleported.
"Y'all heard the Princess. Spike, take a letter" Applejack said. Spike pulled out a parchment and quill, but before he could begin, Twilight snuggled his check. She then hugged Night and he returned it. Spike then started writing.
Applejack: Dear Princess Celestia, We're writin' to you because today we all learned a little somethin' about friendship.
Fluttershy: We learned that you should take your friends' worries seriously.
Rainbow: Even if you don't think that she has anything to worry about.
Rarity: And that you shouldn't let your worries turn a small problem…
Pinkie: ...into an enormously huge entire-town-in-total-chaos Princess-has-to-come-and-save-the-day problem.
Applejack: Signed, your loyal subjects.
Spike: P.S. Obviously Spike and Night did not have to learn a lesson, because they are the best, most awesome friends a pony could ask for. Unlike everypony else, they took things seriously, and—
Spike was cut off when he saw everypony glaring at him, including Night, who felt like that was adding salt to the wound. "Eheh… uh… yeah… I'll just, um…" Spike said as he crossed out that segment. While the girls laughed, Night just looked at the dragon amused.
"Too far Spike," Night explained. Spike merely snorted.