MMMystery on the Friendship Express
Pinkie's POV
Pinkie was standing with Mr. and Mrs. Cake in Sugar Cube Corner looking at the Cake's latest cake. "Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. You've really outdone yourselves, Mr. and Mrs. Cake. This is sure to be the winning entry of this year's national dessert competition!" Pinkie told them.
"Oh, thank you, Pinkie!" Mrs. Cake said.
"And thanks for transporting it all the way to Canterlot for us," Mr. Cake added.
"Absolutely! It's my honor and I–" Pinke started when Applejack interrupted.
"Uh, beg pardon, but could we maybe move things along? This here cake's a mite heavy. Right, Big Macintosh?" Applejack asked, looking at her older brother.
"Eeyup...!" he grunted out.
"Alrighty then, Big Mac! To the train depot!" Pinkie told him. They started heading toward the train and ponies had already cleared the way. "That's it, Big Mac, nice and slow. This is precious cargo you're carrying," Pinkie told him.
"Yes, it took months of planning and testing," Mr. Cake said.
"I would hate for it to–" Mrs. Cake started when Big Mac lost his balance for a second, but got everything back under control.
"Fall!" the Cakes shouted.
"Don't worry, Mr. and Mrs. Cake," Pinkie said as she saw Rainbow and Fluttershy. "Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, a little pegassistance?" Pinkie asked them. The two pegasi attached ropes to the cake tray and helped to balance it. "I'll get it there safely, you'll see!" Pinkie told the cakes.
"Ahahah, oh... of course, Pinkie," Mrs. Cake said.
"We never doubted you," Mr. Cake added. Just then, the cake started to slip but Rainbow and Fluttershy got it balanced again. Pinkie looked around and saw Twilight and Night nearby.
"Twilight, Night, can I see you a second?" Pinkie asked them. The two combined a shield spell surrounding the cake. "A nice protective spell as extra insurance. Better safe than sorry," Pinkie said. She felt it was fine now, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake's looks at the two magic users and back at the cake told Pinkie otherwise. "AJ, Rarity, one last thing?" Pinkie asked them. The two then got a trampoline and walked behind the cake. Pinkie turned around and saw they were near the train station. "All right, everypony, we're in the home stretch here," Pinkie told them. Pinkie then ran up to a car door and opened it as wide as it would go. "See, Mr. and Mrs. Cake? I got it here without a hitch! Now all we have to do is get it... in?" Pinkie said, then realized that the cake wasn't going to fit. The group took down the wall of the car and were able to get the package in. "Thank you all for helping me get the cake safely on the dessert car," Pinkie told her friends.
"Thank you for inviting us all to go with you to Canterlot for the National Dessert Competition," Twilight pointed out.
"I'm sure the festivities will be just lovely," Rarity said.
"Phooey on the festivities! I can't wait to try all those tasty treats!" Applejack said, looking at the cake with hungry eyes.
"I'm with Applejack. The food's more important," Night said.
"Why am I not surprised you're thinking with your stomach?" Twilight asked sarcastically.
"Well, the tastiest treat of all is sure to be the Cakes' Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. All that rich creamy goodness of the marzipan, combined with the tart tanginess of the mascarpone, blended perfectly with the smooth, silky sweetness of the meringue. That's why I call the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness the 'MMMM'. It's the most delicious delectable delightful de-lovely cake in Equestria, and it's sure to win first prize," Pinkie stated.
"Pinkie, stop talking before I get so tempted that I eat the cake right here and now," Night told her.
"Zis is not so, for I, Gustave le Grand, do challenge your crude cake to a duel of delectable delicacies against my exceptionally Exquisite Éclairs!" a griffon named Gustave le Grand said as he entered the car and shined his food with a bright lamp. "They will undoubtedly strike down all ze competition, winning first prize and crowning me le champion," he declared as he set his dessert on a table.
"Not a chance, le Grand," Donut Joe said as he entered.
"Donut Joe! What are you doing in Ponyville?" Twilight asked.
"Picking up the final all-important ingredient for my contest entry, Donutopia! And with these super-sprinkles, my donuts are going to dunk all the other lousy desserts, steal first prize, and make my donut shop famous forever!" he answered, showing a ton of donuts carefully arranged to make a city.
"Oh, Joe… Your dippy donuts could never out-rival me," a chocolate moose said as it entered.
"Hello. What's your name?" Pinkie asked the moose.
"I am Mulia Mild. Behold, my Chocolate Mousse Moose. It will trample all your treats, be given first prize, and make me the greatest chef in Equestria," a donkey named Mulia said.
"Madame Mild, you and your mousse moose are mistaken," Gustave told her.
"Your frou-frou éclairs will never defeat my donuts!" Joe declared.
"The Cakes' Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness is going to win!" Pinkie stated.
"Your simple cake could never take my moose," Mulia countered.
They then all heard the train whistle go off and they started moving. "Well, it sure looks like we're in for a delicious competition tomorrow. Maybe we should all settle in for a good night's sleep," Twilight suggested.
"Yes, let's. Before I eat everything in here," Night added, looking really hungry. The other bakers headed off to their rooms, slamming their doors behind them.
"I gotta admit, I'm pretty beat," Rainbow said.
"Yeah, I'm gonna hit the hay myself," Applejack said. The group started to head off to their rooms when Pinke got in front of them.
"Wait! Didn't you hear those chefs? We have to protect 'MMMM'," Pinkie told them.
"MMMM?" Rarity asked.
"Mmm-hmmm. I know for super sure that 'MMMM' is the best dessert in all of Equestria, and I know that they know it too," Pinkie stated.
"So…" Rainbow started.
"So... one of them is going to sabotage the Cakes' cake tonight! You have to help me stand guard!" Pinkie told them.
"Pinkie... you're overreacting," Twilight told her.
"Yeah, those chefs aren't going to do your cake any harm," Applejack stated.
"And what we've seen between them is just natural competitive nature. They wouldn't try anything," Night added.
"But they are! I just know it," Pinkie told them.
"Fine! If you want to stand guard, go for it. We're going to bed," Rainbow said as she flew over her. Pinkie stopped trying to stop the others as they walked past her to their rooms.
"I'll show them. I'll stay up all night and protect you. Nothing and nopony will stop me from keeping you safe," Pinkie told the cake. As time went on, Pinkie started to feel drowsy. She was close to falling asleep when something whizzed past her. "Huh? Stop, you saboteur!" Pinkie shouted as she ran after whoever it was. They were heading toward the caboose and Pinkie realized they were cornered. "I have you now!" Pinkie shouted. She ran out the back of the caboose, but nopony was there. After looking around for a bit, Pinkie headed back to the cake where she saw what appeared to be the same figure running toward the other end of the train. Pinkie ran after them, but when she got to the front, she only saw the conductor shoveling coal into the engine. Pinkie went back to the cake and saw it was alright. "Oh! Thank Celestia you're okay! But one of those bakers is mixing up something bad, so I'm not leaving you again no matter what," Pinkie told the cake. She watched over it when everything suddenly got dark. "Huh? Who turned off the moon? Don't go near that cake, thief!" Pinkie shouted, thinking this was the perfect time for a saboteur to strike. "Stop, thief!" Pinkie shouted. She then heard something hit something else. "Oh, are you okay, thief?" Pinkie asked, but she didn't get an answer. The blinds then opened again and Pinkie could see. She opened the door to the bedrooms, but she still didn't see anything. Pinkie looked and saw a picture near the door was crooked so she fixed it. "Huh... Overreacting, my hoof. I knew I was going to have to keep a close eye on you, and that's just what I'm gonna do," Pinkie declared.
Night's POV
Night woke up and saw that Twilight was getting up as well. "Good morning, Twilight," Night said.
"Morning," Twilight answered as she yawned. "Think Pinkie turned out to be right?" she asked Night.
"You never know," Night answered as he stretched his legs and wings.
The two headed over to the desserts and saw Pinkie still there. Night took a glance at the cake and what he saw shocked him, and he wasn't the only one. "Whoa!" Twilight shouted.
"I know. I think some congratulations are in order for a job well done," Pinkie said while Twilight and Night got a closer look at the cake.
"Don't pat yourself on the back just yet Pinkie," Night told her.
"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked. Twilight turned the cake so Pinkie could see the three massive bites in the cake. Pinkie let out a long and drawn out gasp before it turned into a blood curtailing scream.
"What is it?" Applejack asked as everyone came out to see what was going on.
"What happened?" Rainbow asked.
"It's the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, it's been mutilated!" Pinkie told everyone. "Now we just need to find out who done it," Pinkie stated.
"You mean, who did it," Twilight corrected.
"Exactly. Who did-done-dood it," Pinkie said.
"That's going to go so well," Night commented to Twilight.
"Well, having read many mystery novels, I know that the only way to discover the culprit is to investigate," Twilight stated.
"Exactly," Pinkie said, pulling out a hat and pipe that reminded Night of Sherlock Holmes. "And as chief detective, that's exactly what I'm gonna do," Pinkie added.
"Uh, you're investigatin'?" Applejack asked.
"Yes! And Twilight shall be my lowly assistant who asks silly questions with obvious answers," Pinkie said, giving Twilight a hat that looked like the one Dr. Watson had.
"Fine, Pinkie. Should we start looking for clues?" Twilight asked.
"Perfect silly question, my dear Twilight. Because the obvious answer is…" Pinkie started.
"Yes?" Twilight said.
"No! 'Cause I know who did it," Pinkie answered. Everyone but Night and Twilight gasped in shock.
"Pinkie, how could you possibly know?" Twilight asked.
"How could I possibly not know? Clearly this dastardly deed was done by the baker, who knew their dessert could not measure up to the mastery of the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. I guess you feared your éclairs lacked flair, Gustave!" Pinkie accused. Pinkie then told a story that had Gustave tieing Pinkie up in front of the train tracks then cutting the cake up with a saw blade. "Thus, destroying the cake and the Cakes' chance of winning the National Dessert Competition," she finished.
"But it makes no sense!" Twilight said.
"What do you mean, lowly assistant?" Pinkie asked.
"Well, first, if you were tied to the train tracks, how are you now here?" Twilight questioned.
"Huh... Guess that isn't a totally silly question," Pinkie said.
"And second, the cake's been bitten, not sliced," Night added, pointing to the teeth marks.
"Hm... You're right, my fine fellow. Gustave le Grand is clearly in the clear, which means the 'MMMM' was destroyed by another baker. A baker who's donuts are do-nots. That's right, it was Joe!" Pinkie accused. She then told a story about how Joe was a spy and that he cut a hole in the window, threw a smoke bomb that knocked Pinkie out, then using a laser security system to cut the cake. "Crushing the Cakes' chances to win!" Pinkie finished.
"Pinkie! There is no laser beam security system!" Night protested.
"And what even are lasers?" Twilight asked.
"Something that probably won't be invented for a long time," Night answered. Twilight shrugged before continuing.
"And Joe is not sleek, stealthy Con Mane! He's big, gruff, and messy!" Twilight stated.
"Hey!" Joe protested.
"Although, you would look rather dapper in a tuxedo," Rarity said.
"Huh... You may be right, lowly assistant," Pinkie said.
"May be?" Twilight asked.
Pinkie ignored her as she continued. "Now that I'm taking a closer look at these desserts, I see that one simply cannot look me in the eye," she said.
"Pinkie... that moose is a mousse!" Twilight told her.
"Yes, and the mule behind the moose panicked when she saw the mastery of the 'MMMM'," Pinkie stated.
"So you're saying that the culprit is…" Twilight started.
"Mulia Mild!" Pinkie accused. She then told a story about how she was a ninja and she cut up the cake with a sword. "Putting an end to the Cakes' dreams of taking first prize. Huh, I hope you're proud of yourself, Mulia," Pinkie finished.
"Pinkie, stop! This is ridiculous! Look at her!" Twilight told her. The donkey was clearly fearful about what might happen to her.
"You know what, roles are being swapped," Night said. He took off Pinkie's hat and pipe and cleaned the pipe before giving them to Twilight as he took the bowler hat for himself.
"Thank you," Twilight said.
"But I was so sure that it was one of the other bitter bakers that destroyed the 'MMMM'. That way, their delicious dessert would reign supreme. I mean, just look at Joe's Donutopia. It's a spectacular city of donutty delight, topped temptingly in sprinklicious sprinkles. And Gustave's éclairs look incredibly edible, with glistening glaziness. But then there's Mulia Mild's Mousse Moose. [sighs] why, this mouth-wateringly marvelous mousse moose tempts the taste buds with its silky, smooth, yummy-nummy, chocolateyness. So why did this criminal devour the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness while leaving this trio of tasty treats untouched?" Pinkie questioned. Just then, the train went down a tunnel and Night heard the sound of something being eaten. When everyone regained their sight, all the desserts were partially eaten. "Now I have no idea who do-doned it!" Pinkie said.
Twilight and Night looked at each other and nodded before Twilight said, "Everypony go back to your cars while we do a little investigating. Okay, Pinkie, in order to really solve this mystery, we're going to have to find clues. Now you were here at the scene of the crime all night," Twilight started.
"Huh! You're not accusing me, are you?" Pinkie asked.
"Of course not Pinkie, you are a terrible liar," Night pointed out.
"But maybe you saw something that will help us," Twilight added.
"I saw a silhouette in the moonlight!" Pinkie said.
"Good... Let's retrace your steps," Twilight said.
"And then I chased the culprit down the train towards the caboose, but when I got there, he was gone," Pinke told the two when they got to the caboose.
Twilight and Night looked around and Twilight found something. "A-ha! Our first clue. I think I know who did it, Pinkie," Twilight told her as she put the clue away.
"Already?" Pinkie asked, surprised.
"Yes, but I need more evidence to confirm. Tell me what happened next," Twilight told her.
"I heard somepony else in the dessert car and chased them up to the engine," Pinkie told them. The three headed up there and Pinkie told them, "But when I got there, all I saw was the conductor shoveling coal."
"The conductor, huh?" Twilight asked. She looked in his hat and gasped. "But that doesn't make any sense," Twilight said as she pocketed the evidence. "What happened next, Pinkie?" Twilight asked.
"Well... I went back to the dessert car," Pinkie said as she put on Twilight's hat and started searching the car, but a stern glare from Twilight stopped her. Pinkie gave Twilight back her hat, looking disappointed.
"Yes?" Twilight said, asking her to continue.
"The curtains mysteriously closed, all on their own," Pinkie told them. Night immediately guessed magic.
"Interesting. Anything else?" Twilight asked.
"I heard hoofsteps, a loud thud…" Pinkie started when she ran into the wall, "...and then they were gone! When I opened the curtains, I saw that the portrait by the door was all crooked," she finished. Twilight went up to the picture and looked at it carefully.
"Oh my, what is that?" Twilight asked as she pocketed that too. "What next Pinkie?"
"That's it. I was here guarding the cake the rest of the night," Pinkie answered, but Night and Twilight didn't believe her. "I mean... I slept by the cake the rest of the night," Pinkie admitted.
"And when you woke up, you found the bit marks in the cake?" Night asked rhetorically.
"Exactly," Pinkie answered.
"By Jove, I think I've got it. Call everypony back. We have a cake culprit to catch," Twilight said. Pinkie nodded and headed back to the bedrooms.
"Why are we all here again?" Mulia asked when everyone had gathered.
"I bet you're wondering why you're all here again," Twilight said.
"She's good," Joe noted.
"We have discovered the true culprit of this cake carnage," Twilight told everyone.
"But how?" Gustave asked.
"Well, you see, when committing a crime, it's crucial that one never leaves behind clues, especially an obvious clue like... this," Twilight said, pulling out a blue feather.
"A-ha! A blue feather! I knew it was you, Gustave le Grand!" Pinkie said.
Night hoofpalmed himself as Twilight said, "Pinkie, Gustave doesn't have blue feathers."
"No, 'cause he's been dyeing them!" Pinkie said.
"No, Pinkie. Remember how when you chased the suspect to the caboose, they suddenly disappeared? That's because they flew away. But the thief did leave a little something behind, didn't you, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.
"I-I don't even like cake!" Rainbow tried to protest, but it was obvious she was lying.
"So Rainbow Dash did it! Case solved!" Pinkie said.
"Case not solved, because when we went to the engine, I saw the conductor's hat. And inside the hat was... this," Twilight said, pulling out a pale pink hair.
"So it was you! That pink hair came from your rainbow-colored mane!" Pinkie said to Rainbow.
"I don't have pink in my mane, Pinkie!" Rainbow said.
"So you're wearing a wig?" Pinkie asked as she tried to rip Rainbow's mane off.
"Ow! Cut it out!" Rainbow protested.
"Pinkie, remember? You chased a pony to the engine, where you thought you saw the conductor shoveling coal, but that wasn't the conductor at all. It was... Fluttershy!" Twilight said.
"Oh my," Fluttershy said as she tried to hide.
"You're goin' down, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said.
"Pinkie!" Night called out. "Then came the news that the blinds closed on their own, but that is clearly the work of magic."
"But when the thief tried to make their great escape, they left a little addition to the portrait," Twilight said as she pulled out an eyelash. Has anypony else noticed that Rarity is wearing her hair rather differently today?" Twilight asked everyone.
"What? Is it a crime to change one's style now and again? Why, I think it's a crime not to," Rarity said.
"Really?" Twilight asked as she moved Rarity's hair to reveal that her mane was covering the eye without the eyelash.
"Fine, I'm guilty! I wear false eyelashes! Oh, and I took a bite of the cake," Rarity admitted.
"So did I," Fluttershy said.
"Aw nuts, so did I," Rainbow admitted.
"You just made it sound so delectable," Rarity said.
"So tasty," Fluttershy added.
"And boy was it!" Rainbow finished.
"I only meant to take a little, lady-like bite."
"And it was so good."
"Yeah, I just dove right in!"
"But I'm really really sorry," Fluttershy apologized.
"Terribly sorry," Rarity said.
"Sorry, Pinkie," Rainbow said.
"That's okay. At least this mystery is finally solved," Pinkie said.
"But it isn't. We figured out who ate the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, but we still don't know who devoured the other bakers' goods," Twilight pointed out.
"You're right, Twilight. You know what we have to do?" Pinkie asked.
"Well... Yes, I do. Do you?" Twilight asked.
"Look for clues!" Pinkie answered. Twilight smiled and gave Pinkie her hat. She smiled and started looking around.
"Well, Pinkie. Did you find the devourer of the desserts?" Twilight asked.
"I most certainly did. It was none other than... the bakers!" Pinkie answered. "First of all, Gustave has mousse in his moustache! And Joe has éclair in his hair! And Mulia has sprinkles in her wrinkles!"
"What do you say, bakers?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, I am so sorry, Mulia, but Pinkie made your mousse moose sound... très magnifique," Gustave apologize.
"And Pinkie's description of your éclairs really did make 'em sound scrumptious," Joe admitted.
" And the way she spoke of your Donutopia, ohh, was too delectable to resist," Mulia added.
"Well, everypony, we finally have the mystery solved," Twilight declared as they pulled into Canterlot.
"Yes, but now we don't have any desserts to enter into ze contest!" Gustave stated.
"I think we can fix that. Come on!" Pinkie told them. With Pinkie's idea in play, they headed over to the contest and revealed a combined version of each dessert. And Night found it really hard to resist eating it.
The judges came along and awarded them with first place. Celestia then came up. "Care for a bite?" Twilight asked her, offering a slice.
"I don't mind if I do," Pinkie answered. She jumped into the air and ate the entirety of the cake in one huge gulp and everypony just laughed at Pinkie's antics.