Back with another chapter. This one was hard, too. I can't seem to write a chapter of this story without breaking down in sobs. Enjoy

"The pact that we made was the ordinary pact

of men & women in those days

I don't know who we thought we were
that our personalities
could resist the failures of the race

Lucky or unlucky, we didn't know
the race had failures of that order
and that we were going to share them

Like everybody else, we thought of ourselves as special

Your body is as vivid to me
as it ever was: even more

since my feeling for it is clearer:
I know what it could and could not do

it is no longer
the body of a god
or anything with power over my life

Next year it would have been 20 years
and you are wastefully dead
who might have made the leap
we talked, too late, of making

which I live now
not as a leap
but a succession of brief, amazing movements

each one making possible the next"
-Adrienne Rich, From a Survivor

Olivia stood at the mirror, applying light, natural makeup and fixing her hair, pulling it back into a classy chignon. She was in a black, strapless bra and black panties. She saw Trevor come in and felt his lips on her neck. "This day is going to suck." She turned in his arms.

Trevor kissed her lips softly. "I know. I'll be right next to you. Lean on me today."

She ran her hands over his chest. "My rock," she whispered and took a deep breath. "Come zip up my dress?" She asked softly.

He kissed her forehead. "Come on."

Olivia led him out to the bedroom and slipped into her dress. It was black, cap sleeved, and was form fitting. She felt him drag the zipper on the back up and kiss the back of her neck. "I don't even want to go to this. I don't want to have to face that… woman. I don't want to have to face. And it's just making me realize he's really gone." She turned to face him.

Trevor held her. "We don't have to go."

She smiled sadly. "Noah needs to say goodbye to his Tucker. And I need to be there for Tucker's mom. We had a good relationship when Tucker and I were together."

He nodded. "Okay, I'm here for you. Whatever you need."

Olivia nodded. "I swear, if his wife is a mess after they eloped, if she has the nerve to act like her pain is the deepest and most important in that room I swear to God, Trevor, I might just slap her."

Trevor ran his hands over her arms. "Hey, she's allowed to grieve too."

She nodded. "Of course, but his mom is going to be there. My son—"

He caressed her face. "You."

Olivia took a deep breath. "I just don't want her making his funeral about her. He was a good man Trevor, he deserves to have his funeral about him. He deserves that much."

Trevor pulled her into him. "He does. And I promise you, I'm there to help however I can."

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "I'm going to go check on Noah, see if he's ready." She slipped into her heels and walked out to go check on Noah, seeing him in the living room. "Hey, sweet boy. You ready?"

Noah looked up at her. "Do think Tucker would have liked this suit?"

Olivia knelt in front of him. "Oh, honey. He'd have loved it. And he'd have shown you how to tie your tie, and shine your shoes." She caressed her son's face, tears in her eyes. "Tucker may not be here anymore, but he loved you so much, and I know that he will always protect you."

Noah looked down at the floor. "I miss him, Mommy. He never got to see me dance."

Olivia nodded and pulled him into a hug. "I know, baby. I miss him, too. But I want you to keep dancing, and he's going to be watching now. Okay? I promise. And you dance your little heart out, and you dedicate your performances to him. Promise me?"

Noah nodded and cried on his mother's shoulder. "Is Gramma Caroline going to be there?"

Olivia smiled and nodded and wiped her eyes. "She will be. And I bet, you are going to be the only one who can make her smile today." She wiped his tears. "And I know she would love one of your special Noah hugs."

Noah nodded. "Okay. Do you think she'll still let me call her Gramma? Even though Tucker isn't here anymore?"

Olivia kissed his forehead. "I'm sure she'd love that, Noah."

Trevor walked out and smiled at Olivia and Noah. "Are we ready?"

Olivia stood up. "As we'll ever be." She wiped her eyes. "Come on, let's go say goodbye to Tucker." She took Noah's hand, feeling Trevor's hand on the small of her back. They walked out and climbed into the town car Trevor called for them. They arrived at the funeral home and she took a deep breath. They walked in and she saw Ed's mother. "Let's go see Gramma Caroline." She looked at Trevor and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back in a moment." She walked over to Caroline and gave her a hug. "Oh, Caroline. I'm so sorry," she whispered and let the older woman cry on her shoulder.

Caroline held her tightly and then saw Noah. "Oh, Noah, look how big you got." She hugged Noah and kissed the top of his head. "I've missed you."

Olivia rubbed her back and met her eyes. "He's out of pain Caroline. Lung cancer… brain cancer…" she wiped Caroline's eyes and smiled sadly. "Those of he left behind, we're hurting, but we'll be okay. Ed'll make sure of it."

Caroline nodded when they heard a loud sob from the other side of the room. "I swear that woman is going to drive me to drink."

Olivia smiled gently. "You mean we weren't going to drink today anyway?"

Ed's wife was nearly inconsolable. "My husband."

Olivia looked at Caroline. "Drive me to drink? She's going to drive me to snap is what she's going to do," she mumbled. "Ask Trevor, I told him if she centered her grief, if she made today about her…"

Caroline held Olivia's hand. "Olivia, I don't know if I've ever told you. But I wanted you to be the one with my ring on your finger. I was going to give it to Ed to propose to you. He never asked. But he did ask for it for her. I wouldn't do it. I don't like her. I don't trust her. I love you like you're one of my own, and I always will."

Olivia looked at Caroline. "How long were they together?"

Caroline rolled her eyes. "Less than three months, before they got married. Between you and me, he didn't love her."

Olivia nodded. "Figured that much," she took a deep breath.

Ed's wife literally threw herself on the closed casket. That was the last straw for Olivia and she snapped, running over to his wife and pulling her off the casket, slapping her. "Stop it! You are not the only one in pain here. Stop acting like yours is the only grief that matters you selfish bitch."

"He was my husband!"

"Congratulations, you got married by Elvis in some wedding chapel in what, Vegas? Did he spring for Vegas, or did he just drive to Atlantic City?"

Trevor ran over and pulled Olivia back and held her back. "Liv, breathe."

"You're making today about you. You're making his funeral about you and Ed Tucker deserved more than that." She fought against Trevor and he held her tighter.

Caroline walked over to her and rested her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Honey, it's okay. Breathe. We got you."

Olivia was shaking and took a deep breath. "I need air." She broke out of Trevor's grasp and walked outside, her chest heaving. She rested against the wall.

Ed's wife went to follow her. "I want her arrested."

Trevor stopped her. "With all due respect, I know your husband just died, but she wasn't wrong. And you know it. Grieve, but realize he had a lot more people who loved him than just you. He loved more people than just you."

Caroline walked over to Trevor once he'd finished talking. "I don't believe we've met, I'm Caroline Tucker. Ed's mom."

Trevor shook her hand. "Trevor Langan. I'm with Olivia. I know it's weird for me, the new boyfriend, to be here, but I know Olivia loved Ed. And I accept that he will always be a part of her, and I love her too. We haven't said it yet, but, uh, she's hard not to love."

Caroline nodded. "That is very true. Do me a favor, Trevor, take care of her and Noah."

Trevor smiled. "Of course. And you will always be family. I may not be your son, but you are family."

Caroline smiled. "Thank you." She turned and saw Noah at the casket. "I'm glad they have you."

Trevor nodded. "I'm glad I can be here for them."

Olivia came in and rested her hand on his back and watched Noah. "Sorry, I guess I'm in the anger stage of grief now." She kissed his cheek. Noah came running over and she picked him up. "You okay, sweet boy?"

Noah nodded and rested his head on her shoulder. "I'm alright. Tired."

Olivia kissed the top of his head. "Go give Gramma a hug, we'll head home and take a nap."

Noah nodded and ran over to Caroline and gave her a hug. "Bye, Gramma Caroline. I love you."

Olivia followed him and smiled. "We're all… we're all tired and I… I should probably get out of here before I get arrested. I'm just going to stop at the casket really quick." She nodded and walked over to the casket, touching the wood lightly. "Oh, Ed. I'm sorry," she whispered and closed her eyes. I told Noah you were going to protect him, especially now. I told him you'd be watching him dance. Don't make a liar out of me." She felt a tear fall from her face and onto the wood. "I love you, Ed. I always will. And uh… I hope you're not mad, but I'm falling in love with Trevor. My heart just keeps getting bigger. Because so many people mean so much to me." She rubbed the wood. "Rest easy, Ed Tucker…" she nodded and walked away wiping her eyes, walking over to Caroline and hugged her. "Don't be a stranger." She looked at the older woman. "I love you, Caroline. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a mom. Seriously, Noah is going to have a recital in a few months, you should come. And come for dinner once in a while?"

Caroline hugged her. "Sweet girl," she smiled. "I'd love to." She wiped her eyes. "You've got a keeper there, with Trevor."

Olivia smiled. "He's pretty great. And um… I have Ed to thank. I don't think… no, I know, I wouldn't have ever been able to accept that I'm good enough for someone, that I deserve love, had it not been for Ed." She hugged Caroline. "Okay, we're going to head out. Call me if you need anything. Anytime, okay?"

Caroline nodded. "Same for you."

Olivia took Noah's hand and they walked out with Trevor, climbing into the town car. She rested her head on Trevor's shoulder. "Thank you for coming with us." She looked into his eyes. "Caroline Tucker likes you."

Trevor kissed her forehead. "She's sweet."

Olivia looked up at him. "So are you," she nuzzled into him. "I'm sorry I snapped. But thank you for not letting me hurt her."

Trevor caressed her face. "You're grieving. Anger is a normal part of the process."

Olivia kissed his palm. "You're the best, baby." She saw the car pull up outside his apartment building and she saw Trevor open the door. She slid out and let Noah out. They walked up as a family and Olivia kicked her shoes off once inside and she kissed Noah's head. "Go get comfy." She watched him walk away and she turned to Trevor and wrapped her arms around him. "Once Noah is sleeping, I want to show you just how much I appreciate everything you did today," she whispered.

Trevor wrapped his arms around her. "You don't have to do that, Liv."

She pushed out of his arms and rushed to the bedroom and slammed the door. She sat against it and rested her head back on it. "Damn it."

He ran over to the bedroom and knocked. "Baby, open up. Please." He didn't get a response. "Liv, talk to me."

Olivia stood up and opened the door. "Am I not good enough for you or something?" She looked away from him. "Do you think I'm gonna break? Or that I'm masking my pain with sex?"

Trevor lifted her chin. "Look at me," he whispered. He saw her lift her eyes. "You are more than good enough. You're too good for me. I know you're not going to break. And I don't think you're masking your pain. I just… I don't want you to think that I expect sex from you for doing something nice."

She shook her head. "You're an idiot." She gave a small smile. "I know you aren't expecting me to give you sex for being you. I want this, Ed—" she stopped and let her jaw drop, seeing the pain wash over his face. "Trev—" she watched him walk away and walk out.

Noah came out of the guest room. "Mom? What happened?"

Olivia had tears running down her face. "I made a stupid mistake," she wiped her eyes. "How about I make something for us to eat?"

Noah looked up at his mom. "Is he coming back?"

Olivia looked at him. "I hope so, baby. I hope so."

A/N: Okay, so we have a few more chapters. The poem included in the beginning is from one of my favorite poets, Adrienne Rich, following her ex-husband's suicide (they split about a year before his death). It doesn't fit Tuckson's circumstances exactly, but it's such a powerful poem, I knew that I wanted to include it in this story, even if it isn't the MOST accurate. Anyway, leave a review, and an update to something is coming soon!