Little bit of a time jump here, as well as a little bit of a dream sequence. Enjoy.
Six months after Ed Tucker's death, Olivia lay in bed, her head on Trevor's chest, sleeping soundly as a dream flashed behind her eyelids.
She walked towards a man standing by what appeared to be the Hudson River. When she found herself next to him, she looked at him and gasped. "Ed!" She threw her arms around him, feeling tears run down her face. "Oh, Ed I'm so sorry. If I had known—"
Ed stopped her and smiled. "I know. Why do you think I didn't tell you? I didn't want to forget you, or Noah. I have loved you longer than I care to admit Olivia Margaret Benson. I was starting to lose myself, and I didn't want to."
Olivia let out a breath. "I just wish I'd known that our last last conversation was really the last one we'd ever have. I had so much I've wanted to tell you. Ed I love you. And I was scared and I waited too long and now you're dead and I can't—"
Ed pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "I know, Liv. I know you loved me. I felt it. But I'm gone Liv. You need to let me go and see that you have a man that loves you, who has been there through all this for the better part of a year. He loves you, Olivia. And I know you love him. And that's okay. Tell him you love him. All I've ever wanted for you was to be happy. So go, be happy with Trevor. Let. Me. Go."
She hugged him tight and before she knew it, he was gone. She stood and looked over the Hudson, tears running down her face.
Olivia awoke from the dream and sat up, turning to face the man laying next to her. She smiled and caressed his face, standing up and walking over to the window, seeing it was raining. She opened it quietly and went out onto the fire escape, rain pouring over her. She closed her eyes and smiled as tears ran down her face. "I'm okay," she whispered to herself.
Trevor felt her get out of bed and after a few minutes he stirred, seeing her outside on the fire escape in the rain. But for the first time in months she looked jubilant. He got up and climbed out onto the fire escape with her. "Liv?"
She turned and faced him and threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately, the rain mixing with her tears, her clothes and hair were soaked, but she no longer cared. She pulled away and smiled. "I love you, Trevor Langan. I love you so damn much," she smiled and caressed his face.
He brushed her hair back. "How about we go put dry clothes on? Tell me about this middle of the night epiphany, not that I don't love seeing you smile, but this is… a complete 180. I want to hear about it."
Olivia nodded. "But first… tell me. Tell me what you've been wanting to for the last six months. I know already, but I want to hear the words come out of your mouth." She wrapped her arms around him, a chill setting in from the rain.
Trevor looked into her eyes and smiled, kissing her gently. "I love you," he whispered. "Olivia Margaret Benson, I love you so much."
She let out a breath and held him tight, her eyes closed. He wasn't vanishing. This wasn't a dream. This was real. "I'm getting chilly, a warm shower sounds nice." They climbed back into the apartment and shared another kiss, making their way to the en-suite bathroom.
He slowly started taking off her drenched clothes. "Shower or bubble bath?"
Olivia smiled. "Mm, hard call. Bubble bath. But I want to face you. I want to look at you as I tell you all about all of this." She smiled and wiped her eyes. "It's probably going to sound crazy, Trev, and I feel crazy, but at the same time I feel… Trevor, I can breathe again."
Trevor held her and kissed her gently. "How about you get in the bath and I'll get you something to drink, I'll join you when I get back."
She smiled and kissed him again. "Okay." She bit her bottom lip and watched him walk out, she ran the bath and added bath salts and bubbles, lighting some candles and turning out the lights, putting soft instrumental music on her phone, the volume low. She climbed into the bath and reclined, letting the water warm her from the inside out. She closed her eyes until she heard Trevor come back in. She smiled. "Climb in," she smiled and sat up, the water barely covering her breasts.
He sat in front of her, handing her a tumbler of bourbon. "So, tell me."
Olivia took a sip of the bourbon and looked up at him. "I had a dream." She told him about the dream and she paused, looking at him. "I told Ed I loved him. He said he knew, but that I had a man here who loved me. That it was okay to love you too, and that I needed to let him go. He wanted me to be happy."
Trevor caressed her face. "All I've ever wanted was to make you happy, Liv."
She moved so she was right in front of him. "You make me so happy, and you've been so amazing through all of this." She kissed him slowly. "I love you," she smiled and felt his lips move against hers. She ran her hands over his chest, breaking the kiss softly. "Trevor," she whispered looking into his eyes. "Make love to me."
He caressed her face and kissed her softly. "Let's take this to bed." He pulled the plug on the drain, climbing out of the tub and helping her out, wrapping her in a towel pulling her closer to him. "I want to look into your eyes the whole time, baby. I want to get lost in them as I make love to you."
Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around him. She let the towel fall from around her breasts. "Well, what are you waiting for? Take me to bed."
Trevor picked her up and kissed her, walking her back into the bedroom and laying her down. He kissed from her lips to her neck and he heard her let out a sigh, his hand massaging her breast, sucking gently on her collarbone. "God you're beautiful."
She arched her back and smiled. "Oh, Trev," she whispered, feeling his fingers move down her body, pushing into her. "Oh!" She gripped onto him, holding him tightly. "I want you so bad," she whispered, her hips rocking into his hand. "Please," she begged softly. She loved the way his fingers felt inside of her, but she wanted him.
He slowly pulled his fingers from her and licked them clean. He saw her bite her lip. "Mm, so good," he whispered. He looked into her eyes. "Ready?"
Olivia looked up at him, her breath heavy. "Yeah." She felt him slowly push into her and she gasped, gripping his shoulders. "Oh my God!"
Trevor stayed still for a moment, letting them both enjoy the feel of him being inside of her. "Oh, shit," he whispered and moved her hands so he could hold them, seeing her eyes closed. "Open your eyes beautiful, look at me," he whispered.
She opened her eyes and looked up at him. She smiled. "Hi," she whispered and let out a soft moan. "Move. Please. I need you to move."
He started to move slowly and from that moment until both finished it was a montage of flashes. Her back arching, their hands squeezing together, him wrapping one of her legs around his waist, his head dropping to suck on her nipple, her head pushing into the pillow as she moaned. The only time their eyes closed was when he kissed her to swallow the moans that were a little too loud, so they didn't wake Noah. Once they both hit climax, they broke the lip lock they were in to muffle their moans and they stared into each other's eyes, their mouths still open as they panted. "God, baby."
Olivia smiled and wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly, holding him close to her body. "I love you, baby," she whispered, tears in her eyes.
Trevor caressed her face. "I love you, too." He saw a few tears slip from her eyes and he kissed them away. "I've got you. Always."
She smiled and cradled his face in her hands. "Thank you for not thinking I'm crazy or that I'm pink clouding or anything. I just… I've accepted that he's gone, and that I can hold the love I had for him in my heart while falling head over heels in love with you, if you'll have me."
He rolled them onto their sides and hugged her tight. "I know you aren't crazy. And I'm thrilled to hear that you're falling head over heels in love with me, because I've been falling head over heels in love with you for a while. I didn't want to tell you before because I didn't want to scare you, but Olivia Benson, you are the only woman I want. For the rest of my life."
Olivia looked at him. "Are you asking me to marry you?"
Trevor smiled and kissed her forehead. "Not yet. But, I do want to ask if you'll move in with me. You and Noah have pretty much been living here for six months, and I have to say, I've never felt happier. You make this apartment feel less empty and more like a home. So… officially… move in with me?"
She smiled and kissed him passionately. "Yes," she whispered, their lips millimeters apart. "Yes, we'll move in."
He kissed her again and held her tight to his body. "We'll get movers to help bring the rest of your stuff."
Olivia smiled and took his hand in hers. "I should probably go back once while Noah's at school to figure out what I want to bring and then once with Noah to figure out what he wants to bring."
Trevor placed soft kisses on her neck. "Am I invited?"
She giggled. "Of course, how else am I going to decide what lingerie to bring and what pieces to throw out?"
He let out a groan. "That's just torture," he whispered.
Olivia chuckled. "Now, now, I promise you we'll go together," she whispered and looked over at the clock on his nightstand. "We should get some sleep. Noah will be up in a few hours," she whispered.
Trevor kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, baby. I love you."
She nuzzled into him and kissed over his heart. "I love you too, goodnight my love," she whispered and fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.
He was the first one up the next morning, wanting to let her sleep in he carefully slid out of bed, seeing her grab his pillow to cuddle up with and pull the blankets tighter around her. He smiled and kissed her forehead softly and put on his boxers, walking out to the kitchen, making some coffee and starting on breakfast. He saw Noah come out rubbing his eyes. "Hey, bud. Sleep well?"
Noah walked over to him. "Yeah. Dance was a lot yesterday. I'm kinda sore." He shrugged. "We did a lot of leg stuff yesterday. Splits, leaps, all that. I guess I didn't stretch well enough."
Trevor smiled. "How about some breakfast and I'll get you some Motrin? That'll help your muscles."
Noah smiled. "Okay. What's for breakfast?"
Trevor saw him get on one of the stools at the breakfast nook. "Well, I was going to make some special pancakes, maybe with some berries? What do you think?"
Noah nodded. "That sounds really good." He watched as Trevor started making the pancakes. "Is Mommy still asleep?"
Trevor nodded back. "She is. She had a long night last night, I figured I'd let her sleep in."
Noah's eyes were wide with worry. "Is she okay?"
Trevor smiled and folded the whipped egg whites into the batter. "Absolutely, bud. No need to worry, she just needs some extra sleep this morning."
As if on cue, Olivia came out of the bedroom in one of Trevor's shirts and a pair of his boxers, her hair pulled back into a messy bun. "Morning."
Trevor smiled at her. "We were just talking about you," he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her temple.
Olivia kissed his cheek. "All good I hope. You are speaking to my son after all."
Trevor smiled. "Now what would I have to say about you that is anything less than positive and loving?"
She looked at him. "Plenty, but we won't go there," she winked and walked over to Noah and hugged him. "And how are you this morning, sweet boy?"
Noah hugged his mother and rested against her. "I'm good. Trevor is making pancakes."
Olivia looked up at Trevor and smiled, seeing him put the batter into a pan and she looked at Noah. "Noah, do you like staying here?"
Noah shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, I wish I had some more of my things, but I like this place. And my room is a bit bigger."
She chuckled. "That it is." She kissed his forehead. "What do you think about us moving in here. For real? We've been staying here for the last six months. We'd go over so you can decide what you need from our place to make your room here feel more like your room, I'd get my things, and we'd live here. With Trevor." Her eyes drifted back up to meet Trevor's eyes, a coy smile on her face.
Noah looked up at his mother. "But where would you sleep?"
Olivia smiled. "Well, do you remember a few months ago when I was telling you about if I fall in love with Trevor, and how that love would be different than the love I have for you?" She saw him nod. "Well, I've realized that I do love Trevor, and I'm falling in love with him. So if we move in here, I'll sleep with Trevor, like I have been for the past six months. What do you think?"
Noah smiled. "I think… I think we should."
Olivia smiled and looked up at Trevor. "Well, counselor, it looks like we're movin' in." She walked back over to him, seeing him pull the pancakes in the pan out and put them on a plate. She wrapped her arms around him and smiled. "I love you," she whispered and kissed him softly.
Trevor wrapped his arms around her waist as he kissed her back. "I love you, too."
Noah looked on and smiled. He could tell that at this moment, she was happy.
A/N: Alright, one more chapter to tie a nice little bow on this story, and then this story will be complete. In the meantime review. By The Book is started and will be updated next.