Hello, all! I hope everyone is well and had a good Valentine's day, and is now having a good singles awareness day!
I'm cosplaying Chuuya a lot this weekend and there had been a fanfiction contest that I wanted to enter into, but unfortunately, one-shots don't come easily to me... On top of that, it takes me forever to write a fanfiction, so instead of entering a fanfic for a contest, I decided to just post a chapter of one of my WIPs. I hope you all like it!
It only took a week.
The tiger took over after one week.
The finer details in Atsushi's memory were blurry, and really most of the broader strokes were hazy. He couldn't quite place what was real and what was fabricated by his own imagination.
It was the tiger he saw in his mind. It was a normal nightmare. The beast lunged at him, teeth bared and claws poised to strike. And Atsushi stood frozen, watching the beast get closer and closer, only moments away from tearing him to ribbons.
He woke with a start, his heart seeming to beat louder to get him up. His breath caught in his throat and he choked on it, coughing like sawdust coated his throat. He grimaced before forcing himself to swallow.
"Well, Atsushi-kun," came Dazai's voice with that strange cheerful, but empty tone. "It appears I was right about you."
He braced his hands against the bed and pushing himself to sit up. A wave of nausea and a raging headache accompanied his movement. "Dazai-san, what… happened?" He blinked at the man before him. "And where are we?" He started to swing his legs over the edge of the bed, but Dazai caught his knee and pushed him back.
"Slow down," he said tiredly, passing a glass of water into Atsushi's hands. Atsushi took a sip, realizing how parched he was only after he drank. "Powerful abilities tend to be draining when used all at once."
"What do you mean-" Atsushi stopped himself, understanding dawning on him before he could finish his sentence. "Oh no…"
The glass slipped from his fingers, spilling water onto the sheets before rolling off the bed and shattering on the floor. The sharp crash sounded far away to him. "N-no, no, no, no…" He swallowed hard, trying to pull himself together. "That's impossible, Dazai-san," he said, feeling the full futility of his argument when he looked at Dazai's face. But… Something in the back of his brain told him that if he kept fighting it, this scary fate would disappear.
The executive gave him a look that seemed to say 'you want to bet?' Atsushi could sense that Dazai knew exactly what he was trying to do.
"Atsushi-kun, I was five feet away from you," he said. "I watched the transformation."
It was immature and stupid, but Atsushi responded with, "That wasn't me…" He knew how desperate he must have sounded, how he kept trying to deny whatever Dazai told him. "It couldn't have been…" He said in a whisper. His hands shook when he looked down at him.
He's wrong. Atsushi told himself. He's wrong. Akutagawa was wrong when he said that Dazai is never wrong. They're wrong.
"Atsushi-kun, you're the tiger."
It was stupid and immature, but Atsushi clapped his hands over his ears. He couldn't hear this!
You're wrong. He silently told Dazai. You're wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
Dazai's hands clamped around his wrists, prying his hands away from his ears. "I need you to listen," he said in a low voice. When Atsushi resisted, Dazai sighed before releasing one of Atsushi's wrists so he could reach into his pocket. "Look," he said, flipping open his phone and pushing it in front of Atsushi's eyes.
Despite Atsushi's best efforts to keep from looking, his eyes were drawn to the screen.
And he saw it.
The tiger. That white tiger that glowed with with some otherworldly power. It launched itself on cars and snarled wildly, guns having almost no effect on it. It tore someone's limbs off, eyes glowing with bloodlust.
"That's you," Dazai stated, his voice rising- likely to break through the fog in Atsushi's brain. "This is a video from last night. This was you last night." He grabbed Atsushi's chin when he tried to turn away from the video. Atsushi froze. "This is what you are, Atsushi-kun; there's no running away from this. Regardless of your emotions, you need to face the facts and accept it!" Dazai released him
Atsushi's arms went limp, his body trembling all over. He bit his lip with enough force to draw blood and covered his face with his hands. It was the only way he could think of to hide the shame that was scrawling itself across his face. It was the only way he could block out the shifting glow of the video playing on Dazai's phone.
It finally ended when something dark held the tiger down and a bandaged hand reached for the tiger's head. Then, Atsushi's own unconscious face was on the screen.
All that time… Atsushi thought. All that time, I was the one taking out the orphanage resources. He swallowed hard when another thought occurred to him. I'm already a killer…I've hurt people… People died because of me… I didn't even have anything against them. They died because I was too close.
His stomach churned, threatening to heave up the small sip of water he'd taken.
"So," Dazai said, breaking into his thoughts. "What do you plan to do now?"
"What do you think?!" Atsushi snapped, his brain refusing to form anything intelligent to say.
Dazai raised an eyebrow, looking more amused than irritated at Atsushi's response.
Common sense returned to Atsushi after a moment.
Dazai wasn't at all at fault for Atsushi's misfortune. He didn't turn Atsushi into a tiger. He hadn't done anything to hurt Atsushi. Dazai had been the one person to help him; it was unfair to lash out at someone who had rescued him.
"I-" Atsushi began, trying to form words with his dry mouth. "I'm sorry, Dazai-san. It's unfair to yell at you. I'm sorry..."
His bandaged hand came close to Atsushi's shoulder for a second, but he must have noticed the boy's wince because he let his hand drop to his side. "It's okay," he said, his voice carrying not a trace of bitterness. "You're in a rather fragile state right now, Atsushi-kun. It's fairl to be a bit agitated."
"A bit agitated" felt like an understatement, but Atsushi was truly relieved by Dazai's understanding.
"And, if you were scared of punishment, I'm not your superior as of this moment," Dazai remarked smoothly. "I'm just your friend." He smiled in a way that made the darkness vanish from his face.
That comment made Atsushi go rigid for a second. For all the times that it'd been mentioned, and for all the times he'd seen Dazai in action, he managed to forget that the man was high up in a notorious organization of criminals. But, Dazai had called Atsushi his friend, and the feeling Atsushi got from hearing that drowned out the fear he'd initially had of Dazai.
Atsushi managed a weak smile in response. It was practically all he could manage with the reveal of his supernatural ability looming around in his head.
"So, Atsushi-kun, you might recall that when we met, I told you that we'd cross that bridge when we got there." Dazai looked at him, that bright smile gone from his face, instead replaced by a narrowed eye and hard lines. "We're at that bridge now," he said. "You need to make a choice."
Atsushi looked down, the heaviness of their conversation pressing on him.
"What other choice is there?" He whispered. "I don't have any connections, and… I don't want to endanger people's lives whenever I transform, but…" He paused for a long moment. "Dazai-san, I don't want to assassinate people or spy on people or… or…" Atsushi looked at Dazai, his friend, desperately. "But there's no one else who can keep the tiger contained, is there?"
Dazai sighed deeply, as though he was just as heavily conflicted as Atsushi. "I would be able to keep the tiger under control, Atsushi-kun, and even better, I'd be able to help you learn how to control it." He pressed his lips together. "On the other hand, you're allowed to refuse my offer and try to find your way on your own."
"But, the tiger…"
"Yes," Dazai began when Atsushi trailed off. "Your ability puts you in a risky situation, and being alone would leave you vulnerable to the police, other organizations, and probably the Port Mafia."
"What?" Atsushi squeaked.
"Well, if you pose enough of a threat to the city, this organization could be forced to…" Dazai paused, whether it was for dramatic effect or to find the right words, Atsushi didn't know. "Put you down," he finished. "And if that's the decision the Boss makes, my hands are tied."
Atsushi had met Dazai's boss nearly a week ago, and he'd seemed nice enough, a little unnerving, but Atsushi had a hard time imagining Mori giving the order to kill him.
"He would have me killed?"
Dazai sighed. "You have to understand that the Port Mafia is willing to do whatever it takes to protect this city. And, unfortunately, being well intentioned or misunderstood won't give you any protection."
Atsushi mulled over his options, none of which seemed to have a favorable outcome.
"In the Port Mafia," Atsushi began in a whisper. "Do you think I'd be able to- to do what everyone else does?"
They both knew what he meant.
You're killers. He thought. The Port Mafia kills people… They hurt people.
Dazai regarded him silently for a moment. "Truthfully, I believe that all people are capable of taking a life. I doubt you're an exception in that case."
Silence.
Atsushi swallowed hard, trying to imagine what it would be to kill someone, to see the life drain from their body, the heat of someone else's blood on his hands.
He thought about his own life, so precious to him, yet so insignificant to the rest of the world. Could he really take that from someone else?
"Atsushi-kun," Dazai said, snapping Atsushi out of his thoughts and back to the present. "None of the people we fight are innocent. Quite often, their hands are more bloodied than our own."
Did that really make his situation any better?
Atsushi supposed so.
If the tiger hurt anyone, he'd prefer it not be an innocent person. The idea of joining an organization like the Port Mafia seemed dangerous, but Dazai was his only connection now.
He swallowed down the bitter taste that had surfaced on his tongue. "I'll join," he murmured so quietly that he was surprised Dazai had heard him at all.
Somehow, Atsushi could only feel numb. Maybe it was just the shock of having made such a decision to join such a group.
Dazai smiled, his single eye gazing at Atsushi with the analytical stare that Atsushi had only half gotten accustomed to. Then, he shifted, pulling something off his lap that Atsushi hadn't noticed earlier since his eyes had only been on Dazai's face and at his own hands. He draped it over Atsushi's head.
It was dark. Something soft tickled Atsushi's cheek. After a moment, he put together that it was a black coat with striped fur around the hood. He looked up at Dazai through the strands of fur.
"Welcome to the Port Mafia, Atsushi-kun."
/-/-/
All things considered, everything was going according to Dazai's plan. Unsurprising. Dazai's plans rarely took a wrong turn. He'd predicted that Atsushi would choose to join the Mafia because despite his reluctance to kill, he had no other connections and no other means of controlling the tiger. Dazai had hardly needed to do anything at all. Atsushi's circumstances and desperation practically did everything.
"Dazai-kun, can you answer a question for me?"
"That depends on the question."
"A vial of a certain experimental drug has been missing since yesterday. It's intended to amplify special abilities, and possibly causes the user to lose control. Would you know anything about that?"
In the end, Dazai had decided to take matters into his own hands.
"Hmm." Dazai hummed. "It sounds familiar." He pulled a vial out of his pocket and set it on Mori's desk.
The Port Mafia boss glanced at the vial before sighing. "If you needed to use it, you could have at least informed me."
"Better that this is kept off the record," Dazai said. "Besides, telling you my every action is too tedious for my taste. An executive should be allowed to operate with some level of independence."
Mori shrugged before tilting his head. "Were you too impatient to wait three more weeks?"
Dazai leaned forward, resting his chin on his fist. "Not at all," he said in a level tone. "I just had to make sure Akutagawa-kun wouldn't scare him off before he came to a decision."
Tada! Officially a Mafia!Atsushi fanfiction!
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and feel free to leave a review!