Story Time
It was late and Peggy should probably head up to bed, but Angie was in Chicago workshopping a new play and Peggy hated being in their bed without her. After she'd put Natasha to bed she'd made herself a pot of tea and settled into her study to work for most of the night. She could function on only a few hours of sleep, but she probably shouldn't wait on getting those couple of hours. She'd promised Natasha a trip to the zoo, and her little ball of energy would be awake early in her excitement. Peggy didn't move though, she continued to work until she heard movement on the stairs, followed by tiny bare footfalls on the hardwood in the hall. Frowning, Peggy put her work away, securing it in her desk, and then walked over to her office door which had been slightly ajar. When she opened it she was greeted by her five year old daughter, red hair sleep tousled, Dum Dum Bear tucked into the crook of her arm, favorite blanket gripped tightly in her fist, pale skin a bit flushed.
"Nattie?" Peggy said softly as she looked down at her little girl. "Darling, why aren't you in bed?"
"Bad dream." Natasha answered as she gazed up at her mother with watery blue-green eyes.
Peggy crouched down so she was a bit more on level with her little one. The slightly pink flush of her skin made Peggy reach out with both hands to cup Natasha's face, finding that she felt a bit warm. It could have been from Natasha's habit of burrowing into her blankets, often overheating herself, or she could be getting sick. Pulling her girl close Peggy kissed her forehead. "Was it the Tellytubies dream again?"
Natasha shook her head as she felt herself being lifted into her mother's arms. "Cat people."
"Cat people?" Peggy repeated as she began to stand. "Goodness." Natasha rested her head on her shoulder, her little fingers finding a lock of Peggy's hair to twirl. She felt her baby nod and she tisked softly as she began walking towards the stairs. "I told Mama you were too little for Andrew Lloyd Webber."
"I sleep with you Mummy?" Natasha asked, a slight whine creeping into her voice. "Please?"
Peggy hummed softly as she as she checked to make sure the house was secure before shutting off the lights and beginning the climb up to the second floor. "I suppose with Mama still in Chicago you could keep her side of the bed warm."
Natasha sniffled a bit. "I miss Mama."
"I miss her too, poppet." Peggy replied as she rubbed Natasha's back. "But she'll be home in a few days. Her new play is almost ready, and when it is we'll get to see her on Broadway again." Natasha shivered and pressed her face more firmly into her neck. "Nattie?"
"Cat people are on Broadway." The little girl said.
Peggy gave her a squeeze and kissed her temple. She was going to have to have a word with Angie about this. "Those are just actors, my darling, like Mama. They're just playing pretend."
When they reached the master bedroom Peggy pulled back the covers and settled Natasha into Angie's place in the bed. It didn't feel as if Natasha was cooling off, so she wasn't flushed from being overheated. Peggy fetched the thermometer and the children's fever medicine from the bathroom. She asked Natasha if anything hurt and the girl said no, so Peggy figured it was just one of those bugs kids get. She gave her a dose of the medicine, and a glass of water, and then changed into her own pajamas. Sliding into bed she pulled Natasha close and her girl snuggled right into her with a soft sigh that melted Peggy's heart every time.
"Mummy?" Natasha said softly as she looked up at her mother in darkened room.
"Yes poppet?" Peggy replied.
"Tell me a story?" The little girl asked.
Peggy smiled and pressed a kiss to her daughter's head. "What kind of story my love?"
Natasha smiled. "A story about you and Mama."
"A story about me and Mama?" Peggy hummed. "Well, let's see. How about I tell you about the first time I meet Mama." She felt Natasha nod and cuddle closer. "Mama use to be a waitress at this automat diner called the L&L, and me, well, I worked for the phone company…"
She should have known it wouldn't be any different than before the war. She should have known that once everyone was home they would want life to go back to the way it had been. Women in the home having and raising children, keeping the house, making the meals, while the men ruled over the world and them. Peggy had gotten used to the way things were during the war, the respect she had earned as a soldier, the respect of other soldiers, men like Chester Phillips, Steve Rogers, Dum Dum Dugan, hell even Bucky Barnes had respected her. Each and every one of those men and so many more had trusted her at their backs, followed her commands without question, and turned to her for leadership. Peggy missed the war, how messed up was that? During the war she was more than just some woman getting in the way like she was now.
The war ended. The Howling Commandos went their own way, some staying in the army while others went in search of a peaceful life as civilians in the world they helped save. Phillips retired, the bastard, having had enough of combat, enough killing, of letters written home to families telling them their sons, husbands, and fathers were dead. Peggy had been the Colonel's right hand, his second in command, and yet she was not in charge of the SSR, she wasn't even considered a senior agent. She had seen combat just like Dooley, Thomason, Sousa, and Flynn. Hell she'd probably seen things, fought against things, they couldn't even imagine. And yet she was nothing more than a glorified secretary, fetching coffee and taking messages. The only reason she wasn't working the switch board with Rose and the other women was because of Phillips, and his insistence that she be an agent. Dooley was looking for a reason to put her downstairs with the other girls, or secretly hoping she'd get married soon, so she'd be out of his hair. Ha! That wasn't bloody likely to happen! Peggy Carter would not be pressured or pushed out, she would not be moved, those chauvinistic, arrogant, sexist men she called colleagues would move or she'd go around them.
Peggy was lost in her thoughts of resentment, anger, and bitterness over her work situation, and the fact that she'd moved her whole life to this bloody country only to be treated like an unwelcome wench, which made it hard for her to continue Steve's work, until her stomach rumbled. Looking around she realized she'd wandered off her normal routes home. She tried not to take the same way home everyday, but this was a bit out of the way even for her. Taking in her surroundings Peggy grumbles at herself for allowing herself to get so distracted. Spotting an automat diner across the street, Peggy makes her way over. The L&L, according to its signage, wasn't crowded but it wasn't empty either. It looked clean, and the smells drifted out from inside didn't remind Peggy of an army camp mess so that was a plus. After grabbing the evening edition of the paper from the newsie on the corner Peggy headed inside, slipping into an empty booth.
"Be right with you, hon." A young woman in a uniform that Peggy couldn't quite tell if it was pale green or a faded blue said as she passed by with both hands full of plates for another table. Less than a minute later the young woman with dark blonde hair, bright blue-green eyes, and am almost infectious smile stood beside Peggy's table holding out a menu. "What can I getcha to drink, hon?"
"Coffee please." Peggy answers as she glances at the menu. "What would you recommend off the menu?"
"You want coffee with an accent like that?" The young woman, her name tag reads Angie, says with an amused smile. "English right?"
Peggy looks up the young woman and nods. "Yes."
"Thought so," Angie says with a smile. "My brother, Luca, he enlisted in the navy and came home with a real sweet Irish girl he married while he was over there. She sounds totally different than you, accent's pretty thick, but at least I can understand her. Mr. MacKenzie comes in here and I've no idea what he's sayin' most of the time. Anyway, the meatloaf ain't bad, and you can never go wrong with the burgers, the club sandwich is pretty dang good, and our fries are the best, but the real jewel in here are the pies."
The young woman seems to radiate sunshine and warmth, and it has Peggy slow blinking up at her. Her smile is genuine, not just put on for better tips, and Peggy almost finds it startling. She watches as Angie moves behind the counter to fetch the coffee pot and returns.
"Are you even allowed to have coffee, English?" Angie teases as she turns over the coffee cup already on the table. "I mean, with you being a Brit and all."
It takes a moment for Peggy to snap out of whatever trance the energetic and friendly woman had her in. She smirks up at her, "Those of us living in the U.S. are given special permission, seeing as how most Anericans couldn't make a proper cup of tea to save their lives."
Angie laughed as she poured Peggy's coffee. "Yeah, I guess if it ain't iced we don't really get the whole tea thing."
"Iced?" Peggy gasped, a smile on her painted red lips. "Why would you ever do that to tea?"
"Not sure." Angie shrugged, returning Peggy's smile. "Must have something to do with those boys up in Boston dumpin' crates of it in the harbor in the middle of winter. I've known a couple knuckleheads from Boston, they're the type of stupid that would jump in and drink the water and like it."
Peggy couldn't help it, she laughed. She ordered the club sandwich and chips, err french fries, and read over her paper as she ate. She didn't even mind when Angie would stop at her table to check up on her or to say something random in passing. It normally bugged her to no end when waitresses or waiters constantly stopped at the table to check if everything was alright. One pretty much had to send up a faire to get the attention of a waitress in a caf back home. After she finished her meal Angie appeared to refill her coffee and place a slice of pie down in front of her. "Oh, I didn't…"
"Pie's on the house for vets." Angie said warmly. "So's the coffee. Charlie wasn't able to go over and fight, so he figures this is a good way to pay back those who could."
Once again Peggy found herself slow blinking up at the young woman. "How did you know I was a veteran?"
"I wasn't sure at first, what with you being English and all, but you got a military bearin' about you, and, well, the same look in your eyes I see in my brothers and the other fellas that come in here since gettin' back." Angie answers, her voice much softer than it had been during their enter exchange to this point. She smiles warmly at Peggy. "The pie and coffee is a thank you."
Peggy wasn't sure what surprised her more. Angie's ability to observe and read a person so easily, or her acknowledgement and validation of Peggy's service. "I think I should be the one thanking you, Angie."
"Na, you don't, English." Angie says sincerely. "You served in a war, I just brought you pie."
"You did far more than that." Peggy replied. "My name is Peggy by the way."
Angie's smile was bright and warm. "Well, it's nice to meetcha Peggy."
"I went back to the L&L just about everyday after that." Peggy said softly as she brushed the hair from Natasha's slightly sweaty forehead.
"Can we go there sometime, Mummy?" Natasha asked through a huge yawn before snuggling down to let sleep finally claim her.
"It's been a long time since then my darling." Peggy replied. "I'm not sure if it's still there, but if it is, yes we'll go. We'll take Mama on date to the L&L when she gets home."
It became a part of Natasha's comfort rituals when she was sick, hurt, or feeling exceptionally vulnerable. She would cuddle with one of her mothers and ask them to tell her a story about them, taking comfort in the bond between the most important people in her life. When she had pneumonia her Ma told her about convincing Peggy to move into the Griffth with her, and how it was the first time she realized that Peggy was susceptible to her puppy dog eyes. When she's in the ER having her wrist set after breaking it during a gymnastic's competition her Ma tells her about the time she lied to some stupid men who thought Peggy had done something she would never do, while they waited on the doctor and nurse to cast her wrist. Even as she gets older, even now as a grown woman, the stories about her mothers are Natasha's favorites.
Peggy's reading glasses were perched low on her nose as she looked over the field reports trying to decide who to be more angry with. As it stood at that moment the bulk of her anger was divided between the enemy agent who shot her daughter, and the man who put her daughter in harm's way in the first place, well the rest being leftover for Natasha herself.
"You know at some point you're going to have to stop being mad at Fury." Natasha says from the hospital bed beside the chair her mother was sitting in.
"No, I don't." Peggy replied as she looked up over the rim of her glasses at her girl. This wasn't Natasha's first injury in the line of duty, that had been a knife wound that had barely missed her kidney. This was a gunshot wound in her lower abdomen. She would have a pretty nasty scar six or so inches to left of her belly button. "How are you feeling darling?"
"Like someone shot through me to get to their target." Natasha groaned softly.
"You still think the assassin was the one armed man you fought?" Peggy asked, closing the file folder with the reports and setting it aside before taking off her glasses.
Natasha really hoped she wasn't blushing because she'd done more than just fight that one armed man. "Yeah, I am." Deciding it would be best to get her mother off this particular topic, having already heard an ear full from Hill, she turned her head to look at her mother, blue-green eyes soft and wide. "Mum."
"Yes darling?" Peggy couldn't help but smile softly at the look she was getting.
"Tell me about you and Mama." Natasha said.
Peggy laughed as she reached out to brush at Natasha's red locks. "You've pretty much heard all of those stories, Nattie."
"Yeah, but I have a feeling you've had to leave out a lot of the details." Natasha replied. Reaching out with her free hand, the other one hindered by her IV and pulse monitor, she pressed her fingertip to the SHIELD pin on her mother's lapel. "I have one of these too now, so you don't have to hold back the details."
Reaching up Peggy took hold of her little girl's hand. "Did you have a particular story in mind, poppet?"
Natasha thought about it and said, "Tell me about the dream that sent you home to Ma. I like that one."
Peggy smiled, her hand still holding Natasha's and began, "I was still with the SSR back then, and I was sent to Los Angeles on a case. Though I was working the case on my own, I had help from Daniel Sousa a fellow SSR agent, and eventually a scientist named Jason Wilkes. Both of whom, I thought at the time, I might have fancied a bit." Peggy smiled at the way Natasha crinkled her nose, not pleased by the idea that Peggy could have possibly liked anyone not her Ma. "Of course I also had Uncle Jarvis with me, who was making some rather un Jarvis like decisions at the time because Ana had been hurt because of our working together. He and I ended up in a bit of trouble, and unconscious in the back of a truck."
Peggy still felt a twinge of guilt over that. Ana getting shot because of her and Jarvis is what had led to her not being able to have her own children. The guilt was bad enough that she couldn't look at Natasha for a moment. When she returned her focus back to her daughter she smiled and continued. "While I was out for the count I had the most vivid dream. I was back at the L&L, with Angie, and she kept asking me what I wanted. I had no bloody idea what I wanted. I found myself being pulled back and forth between Daniel and Jason as if the two were playing tug of war with me. It made me feel like some kind of prize to be won. But Angie, Angie kept cutting in and pulling me away from both of them and with her I felt, well, more like myself. Angie always made me feel like it was perfectly alright to be who I was, and she respected me for it."
Peggy paused again, looked into her daughter's blue-green eyes, and then admitted. "The dream helped me realize that what I wanted was Angie, but it wasn't what finally gave me the kick in the pants I needed to go after her. It would actually take me a bit longer to find my courage."
Natasha looked surprised. "It wasn't? But you always said…"
"As you said my darling I've left out some details along the way." Peggy smiled, squeezed Natasha's hand and then said. "After I wrapped up the L.A. case I turned down a request from Daniel to stay and help him run the L.A. office. I returned to New York, and the penthouse I shared with my best friend, but I'd barely had time to settle in before the same men who once thought me a traitor for helping Howard, were accusing me of war crimes. Off again I went, leaving Angie behind, to clear my name and find out what was going on, only to discover your Uncle Michael was alive. I had help along the way, only not from Jarvis this time." She paused for a moment, quickly weighing whether this was a good idea, and then continued. "This time I had help from Dottie Underwood." Peggy looked over at the file folder, the comments left by Maria Hill, and then back at her daughter. "Dottie and I had a very strange, very complicated, very complex relationship, and if not for her, I never would have had the courage to tell Angie how I felt about her."
"Why are you staring at me again?" Peggy groaned out as she tried not to visibly shiver as they hid in a long abandoned guard post several miles away from where they needed to be. She was so close to finding Michael she could almost feel him. But the weather had turned even more fowl, and until the snow storm passed they were stuck.
"For the same reason I always stare." Dottie Underwood replied with a roll of her eyes. "You fascinate me Peggy Carter."
Peggy groaned.
"I'm curious about something, Peggy." Dottie says as she inches closer to the other woman.
Peggy rolled her eyes. "Of course you are. What is it?"
With lightning quick reflexes Dottie surges forward and kisses Peggy until she's pushed away.
"What the blood hell!" Peggy yells, eyes wide as she quickly wipes at her mouth in case she's been poisoned once again.
Dottie sits back and smiles brightly, her eyes dancing with myrrh. "Not including me, how many girls have you kissed Peggy?"
"What?" Peggy sputteres, still waiting for the woozy to set in but it never comes. "What the hell is wrong with you!"
"Oh please." Dottie waves away Peggy's indignation. "I know a violet when I see one, Peggy. There's no need to pretend with me. I know you."
"You know nothing about me!" Peggy says angrily, glaring daggers at the tall blonde who was so close she could smell her sweat.
Dottie presses forward once again and kisses Peggy hard only to be pushed away again.
"Stop that!" Peggy demands.
"Make me." Dottie smirks.
Peggy's intentions are to fight. To be honest she'd been looking for a knock down drag out fight since her reputation had once again come under fire, she was driven away from her home, her friends, Angie, only to discover that her brother had been captured, tortured, and experimented on by the Russians. Dottie was an excellent source to take her pent up anger out on. Only when everything that she'd bottled up came raging out, it wasn't a fight she found herself in the middle of. She managed to get in a really good punch, but then Dottie grabbed her wrist, they wrestled for the upper hand, and then they were kissing again. Peggy wasn't sure which of them started it. She hadn't been with a woman since before Steve, and she hadn't been with anyone at all since Steve. Peggy had a hell of a lot of steam to blow off.
"Feel better?" Dottie asked afterwards as she wiped blood from her lip, before once again sucking on her own fingers. Peggy's response was to glare as she pulled her clothes back on. "Well, I do." Dottie smirked that twisted smirk that was only meant for Peggy. "Angie really has no idea what she's missing out on, not that I can imagine you being quite so rough with her. I suppose sex is differant when you love the person rather than loathing them."
"You need to stop talking." Peggy hissed at the other woman. Her breath was finally evening out, but her pale skin was still flushed, and her hair was a mess.
Dottie raised an eyebrow and then burst into laughter. "Oh Peggy, dear heart, what upsets you more? The fact that I know you're in love with Miss Martinelli? Or my implying she may feel the same way? Like I said, Peg, I know a violet when I see one, and honey, she's a true violet."
Natasha stared at her mother in disbelief. She wasn't sure which part of that story had her more dumbfounded, that her mother had had an affair with her birth mother, or that her mother had slept with an adversary. Peggy had been reading files when she'd woken up, had Hill ratted her out? Was that why the story had shifted from her musical number dream, to her confession?
"It would still take more time than it should have for Angie and me to connect that way." Peggy continued. "There was Michael's recovery, and Howard and I creating SHIELD, and a near death experience before I managed to find the courage to open myself up to her so completely."
"She came home with a fresh, bleedin' all over the damn place bullet wound and the biggest bouquet of violets I've ever seen." Angie said from where she stood near the door. "Told me that she hoped I wouldn't hate her for sayin' it, and that she hoped she wasn't wrong about it all, and then told me she was in love with me before she passed out on the hallway rug."
Natasha jumped, having not noticed her Ma come into the room, and then moaned in pain. "Ow. ow, ow."
"Easy angel." Angie said as she came over to offer her child comfort. Then she looked over at Peggy and shook her head with a smirk. "Was now the best time to traumatize our child with tales of your scandloius sex life?"
"I didn't go into details, dear." Peggy replied with a smirk. "Some secrets are meant to be kept."