AN: Today in non work news... If you haven't put 2 and 2 together, I'm married to MKH. Have been for over a decade now. And last night he survived a widowmaker. Had he not been so concerned about some unrelenting back pain it would have probably have killed him by the end of today. Instead he had orthoscopic surgery and came through with flying colors. His symptoms were mimicking an anxiety attack. He doesn't have a history of heart disease. Don't ignore your body. There were signs that in retrospect were obvious. As soon as you notice something doesn't feel right. See your doctor. MKH will be all right. He's a tough guy. Sadly his pizza 2x a week days may be numbered.
"Can't you listen to me?" – Episode 14"Daniel."
Daniel didn't even look at Vala.
"Daniel!" She cried sharply.
Daniel continued to ignore Vala who was chained to a wall about forty feet from him.
Vala huffed in exasperation. It wasn't her fault they were in this situation.
Cameron was sitting next to her, also chained. "He's not going to answer you." He drawled.
"Of course he will. My Daniel would never ignore me."
Cam snorted in disagreement.
"Sam would listen to me." Vala said with a pout.
"Yah well Sam's on Atlantis." Cam said moodily and watched Daniel try to smooth their host's ruffled feathers. Given their hosts were wearing elaborate feathered cloaks over bird hide armor it wasn't that far off from the point.
"All I said was they looked like a bunch of chickens. Chickens are vicious little bastards. It was a complement." Vala insisted with a huff.
"I'm not sure calling them vicious bastards is any better." Cam pointed out.
"Well just get technical why don't you." Vala told him annoyed.
Teal'c, on the other side of her, never said a word. He was busy watching Daniel.
Vala nudged him.
"The negotiations are not going well." Teal'c intoned in his warm baritone.
"Well that's reassuring." Vala said brightly "Oh Daniel!" she called out again.
Daniel still kept ignoring her while he talked to the strange bird obsessed people of P3X-1138
"I don't think this is going to end well." Cam said thoughtfully when one of the bird dressed leaders stood and did a fairly accomplished impression of a chicken. Cam found himself looking away so he wouldn't laugh.
"Oh well that's just bloody wonderful." Vala huffed.
"Indeed." Teal'c said noncommittally.
Down on the dais Daniel was doing his best to distance himself from Vala's behavior. This was not helped Vala's you-hooing or the leaders assumptions that Vala was his 'mate'. He let out a long suffering sigh when one of them lectured him on mating with a lower status woman. The worst part was that his first instinct to the accusation was to rail against the man for speaking badly of Vala. Surely a very bad sign that he was at least partially down the same rabbit hole Jack had gone down none too recently.
"Look, I realize her behavior offended you and I assure you she will be disciplined when we get home. I'm just asking you to let her apologize, she really thought she was giving you a complement. Chickens on our planet are fierce and cunning avians."
"It does not matter what a chicken is on your planet. Only what it is on my planet. I wish to know what kind of punishment she will endure. If it is not satisfactory we shall demand her punishment be meted out by our standards here."
"Well I suppose I could divorce her." Daniel said flippantly. Referring to the more than one fake marriage they had concocted to save their own asses. He'd hassled Jack so much about that one with Sam and yet… here he was on the receiving end of the same nonsense.
"You cannot. Once you commit to your woman, even if she is of low status, you must remain her life companion. It is the law."
"Ok, ok… I'll ah.. think of something." Daniel ssaid with his hands up in a placating motion. "Just, ah… give me a bit to think about it all right?"
"Perhaps you should discuss her punishment with your brothers."
"My ah… oh. Oh right! My brothers. Yah. I'll uh… I'll just go do that. Be right back." Daniel told them and made tracks back to where the rest of his team was chained up.
"My Daniel! You came for me!" Vala said in an excided voice. "Be a darling and unlock these nasty things for me will you?"
"Look they want me to punish you for insulting them." Daniel said, ignoring her flirtation.
"Oh I like punishment. Spank me daddy." Vala said batting her eyelashes.
Cam about choked on his tongue trying not to laugh.
"Anyway we need to come up with something that they will find acceptable as punishment." Daniel continued on.
"Isn't denying me sex punishment enough?" Vala asked with a pout.
Daniel glowered at his shoes for a moment.
"Oh unless you count that time we-"
"Can't you just listen to me?!" Daniel all but shouted at her. "They want to flog you!"
"Well I've certainly endured worse." Vala replied moodily and looked away.
"What if we just ground her?"
"Wait, we what?" Vala asked him confused.
"Yah." Daniel said thoughtfully. "Yah that might be exactly the thing." He said with a dark gleam in his eyes. And he'd be sure to go visit Jack during that time so he didn't have to put up with her nonsense when she was bored on lockdown.
"What's grounded?"
Daniel ignored her again.
"Don't you ignore me Daniel!" Vala said threateningly as she shook her bound wrists.
Daniel however left her behind and went back to the bird dressed leaders.
When he reached the platform he bowed to them and waited for them to motion for him to approach. "Have you discovered a suitable punishment?"
Daniel nodded. "I'd like to say something first."
"Proceed."
"This punishment while not violent will hurt her emotionally in ways she will personally find intolerable."
"Explain."
Daniel looked up and raised his voice so Vala could hear him clearly. "I propose my wife be grounded."
They looked at him oddly. "What does this word mean." One of them asked.
"It means she will not be allowed to leave her place of employment for a set period of time nor contact anyone outside her place of employment for that time."
"You can do this?"
"Oh yah. Her boss' boss is my best friend."
"You wouldn't!" Vala said shocked.
Daniel however finally stared her down. "He's married to her best friend who she won't see or talk to during that time either and I will take leave so she won't see me either. I might go out and visit them while she's being punished." It was hardly worth mentioning that Vala wouldn't be able to talk to Sam anyway or that Sam wouldn't be there if he visited Jack.
"Daniel! No! I said I'd apologize! You can't!" Vala said desperately. Daniel leaving and cutting her off from Sam and Jack meant her only company was Cameron, Landry and Teal'c. None of them a stellar conversationalist.
The leaders of P3X-1138 quietly discussed Vala's reaction.
"Please. I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry. You must believe me." Vala whined.
After several very long moments that Daniel convinced himself he wasn't holding his breath the avian dressed leaders turned to him once again. "Her distress is genuine. This punishment is just."
Daniel nodded.
"We will release your companions. The woman will apologize and then you will leave."
"Thank you. Your generosity is most gracious." Daniel told them.
"Perhaps she will be better behaved on her next trip." One of the leaders said.
"I can hope." Daniel said with a sigh.
"A docile wife is not an asset." One of the leaders said cryptically with a nod to Vala.
Daniel suddenly realized the whole thing had been a test and he genuinely wondered if they had passed or failed.
"Go now. We will speak again." The head leader told Daniel dismissively.
Daniel sighed in relief. "Right." He walked over to his team and waited while they were unchained.
"Nice meeting you folks." Cameron told the leaders, tipping his CPC at them respectfully.
They left the huge cave they had entered two days ago as guests.
"Think we'll make a trade deal?" Cam asked Daniel and Teal'c. Vala was being suspiciously quiet.
"Who knows. Let's just get out of here before anything else goes wrong."
"Right." Cameron agreed.
When they reached the gate Teal'c stood point while Daniel dialed. Cameron walked up the steps after the puddle stabilized but Vala quietly approached Daniel. "You, um, you aren't really going to abandon me on base for an entire month are you?" She asked him in concern.
"To do that I'd have to take a month's worth of personal time." Daniel said absently.
"Oh." Vala said, still not sure what to make of that but knowing she wouldn't get much more of an answer right now. She went over to Teal'c.
"Daniel Jackson would become extraordinarily uncomfortable if he had to take a month's worth of vacation Vala mal Doran." Teal'c informed her.
"Oh." And then her face lit up. "Oh!"
Teal'c smiled enigmatically even when Daniel glowered at him.