Creation began on 08-08-18
Creation ended on 08-09-18
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Hope from the Sky: The Queen's Faith
A/N: Here's what Historia feels about Shinji, Kaede and Ymir.
Kaede Sogen of the Dark Titan
The Founding Titan, also known as the Progenitor Titan, my paternal ancestress, Ymir Fritz, once in the possession of my sister, Frieda Reiss, then in the possession of Grisha Yeager and then his son, Eren Yeager…was now in the possession of one of my co-ruling advisers. A young woman by the name of Kaede Sogen, the keeper of the infamous Dark Titan…and someone among the people that I will be eternally grateful to for giving me back my memories of Frieda. Somehow, and we still don't understand it, she's been endowed with this ability to take any member of the Nine Titans of Ymir Fritz into her Titan and use their powers, and once they become part of her Titan, they remain part of her Titan, like some sort of…amalgamation of what they were before Ymir died. Kaede has been invaluable ever since the discovery of her identity and power.
Kaede carries a power that we never thought was possible. Like her boyfriend, she is hope incarnate, able to put smiles on people's faces, to take their fear of the Titans away and turn it into courage against the people that used them to punish us for the mistakes our ancestors committed. And only recently, has she, without any sort of effort or conscious drive on her part, been able to use the power of the Founder to distribute the knowledge of our stolen past across the island to Eldians and Subjects of Ymir that were able to put their new blessing to use for the good of our people and future. If I had to call the girl an incarnation of a new god of Eldia, I would without a second thought, because I had nothing but respect and admiration towards her, able to do as only she can do.
"Do you, Kaede Sogen, also swear to protect the people of Paradis and preserve peace and order?" I remember asking her after I had asked Shinji as I made them take their oath as my co-ruling advisers.
"I swear," she answered me, and I knew from that moment on that as long as I had them at my side, I could lead the people without fear. "I swear."
I knew from then on…that I could trust these two. They could help show the future, to see where it could lead…and grasp it with our hands.
-x-
Shinji Ikari of the Evangelion
Everyone had feared the return of the Colossal Titan that day Wall Rose was attacked for the second time. By that time, however, we already knew who was behind its actions, and why it did so. But the idea of fighting it was like fighting a storm: Impossible. I knew…because I was afraid of its superior strength compared to our superior numbers.
No matter what we tried, it didn't change the fact that it was huge! It was a mountain that could hit us with unspeakable force! And then…he appeared before us, hitting the ground like a meteorite or an act of God. Shinji Ikari, our hope from the sky. He blessed us with his presence and offered us a promise of salvation without demands and freedom without cost.
His Evangelion was one-hundred meters tall, forty meters taller than the sixty-meter Colossal that was once Bertolt Hoover, and he used it to hack up the beast we couldn't even get near without being scalded to death. Through him, we had hope, and through him, we could take back Wall Maria and live beyond the Walls. When I finally got out of the land within Wall Maria for the first time, I never thought I'd see a sky so blue and more beautiful than I once thought it was within the Walls. Or to see an ocean that was so vast and untamed by anyone.
"We saw the ocean because of you, Shinji," I once told him before he knew my real name. "We can finally live beyond the Walls because of you. Thank you."
"It's because we help each other, Ms. Lenz," he had responded with my false name, being selfless and undesiring of such personal recognition, rather viewing all that was done as everyone doing something to make it all possible. "I couldn't have done anything of this sort without someone suggesting that I get involved because I had something that could actually help people instead of hurt them. But after being asked to help retake Wall Maria…for the first time since I was made to pilot the Eva…I'm glad that I can use it to help you instead of cause unintentional harm with it."
In some ways, I actually felt like we were alike after I learned about his past. He, Kaede and I were similar in some ways. All three of us because we had absentee or estranged parents or relatives that either ignored us, exploited us…or outright hated us because of something else altogether. And the more that came our way, the more I felt I could relate to them more than anyone else.
"Should they choose to…or if they can take it," I remember Shinji telling me when my identity as my father's illegitimate child was revealed, discussing my royalty rights, "anyone with a common ancestor has right to claim their family's throne."
But what I rarely express because I can't lose either him or Kaede, what I even fear disclosing one day, but want to tell them…is that there is no way I could do this without them. I can't be the queen…and not have them to help me with all these decisions I wouldn't know how to make. They're my pillars of strength and honesty…and I need them by my side. Even if they say I can dissolve the monarchy and let other people run the day-to-day things, there is a subtle fear at the back of my head that people wouldn't let me.
"For as long as I can do so with it, my Evangelion is your sword and shield," Shinji told me as he made his choice to help me run Eldia with his honesty. "Your guardian, your protector, whatever you need it to be for you."
One of the things I can't help but wonder…is why can't a few more men be like Shinji Ikari? Why can't they just be honest and selfless? Do we all have to be screw-ups to be as close to being like him?
-x-
Ymir
Ever since she made it known to me that she knew who I really was, she stuck by my side through it all. There's rarely a moment where I'm without her. Even when I was found out for being the daughter of the king, she chose to be incarcerated with me. And I felt…drawn to her more than I was towards others.
Ymir, a girl I didn't even know, who I wasn't even sure I could trust, and yet…she stood by me. She became my friend, my best friend…and then my bodyguard. But she's more to me than that.
"I appreciate this, Historia," she had told me the day I was to be crowned the queen, accepting her position as my bodyguard.
"You're not just my bodyguard, Ymir," I told her, though I had a hard time wanting to tell her that she was like someone I could just lean on when alone with her.
"There's something I should tell you, Historia," I remember her telling later that day after we left Kaede when she restored my missing memories of Frieda. "Kaede suggested that I should, and I think it's because she knows about my past…and everything I either thought about doing or actually did do, intentionally or unintentionally. So…I've decided to let you know how I feel about you."
"How you… How you feel about me?" I asked her, confused by what she meant.
I have to admit to myself that I never felt so confused by her words since that day we had to go train during the winter season.
"This is only because I need you to know that what I felt in the beginning wasn't so personal as it became to me now, but Historia Reiss… I'm in love with you."
It was a shock to hear her say those words to me…and she was the first person that wasn't family to tell me those words. Ymir loves me…and the only problem I really had with knowing that…was whether or not it was okay for me to say that I felt the same way. Instead of just saying those words back, all I really did, in the privacy of my bedroom that night…was hug her. I would need to ask Shinji and Kaede if this was something that was acceptable.
Except that Shinji was likely halfway to the Marleyan mainland, so that left only Kaede to ask on such a topic I was concerned about. At first, she wasn't sure…but then when I went to see her again to call upon her assistance as one of my two advisers, she had revealed to me an ability she only came to discover by accident that shouldn't have been possible.
"Maybe it's because I have the Founder in me, but I'm somehow able to communicate with Shinji through our dreams," she had disclosed to me. "I asked him the question you asked me that I couldn't answer…and he told me that it's accepted by some people…but not the ones that complain about it. What you feel is tolerated to a degree, but in the end, it's your choice to feel that way…and you can't be forced to not feel that way towards whoever it is you feel that way towards. So…who is it that has ensnared your heart, Your Highness?"
"The young woman without a last name," I told her. "You know about her past, don't you?"
"At first, I didn't…but yes, I do. Ymir…cares about you, Historia. All her heart desires…is your affection in return. She knows she can't force you to care about her like that."
"Except I do care about her…like that. But will others accept that?"
It was a question we had no answer to right now. But I hope that when Shinji and the Survey Corps return from Marley, we'll be able to seek out the best solution. Because the darkest vision I have had ever since becoming the queen…was my having to do the things I felt forced to do. I see myself, without any of them, just sitting somewhere, with a dead expression on my face, as though my life had come to an end…and I didn't want that. Before I had them, I didn't question the possibility of dying so long as someone, anyone, knew who I was someday, but now, because of these three strangers that give my life a new direction, that encourage my decisions and support me as the queen, I don't want to die like that, anymore. I…I just want to live my life without feeling chained by everyone expecting me to do something I may not want to do without these three that were like family to me.
To be continued…
A/N: I thought I could finish this within a day, but I was distracted, and it was made within the spur of a random thought.