Maybe chapters are going to be weird, or not everyone's cup of tea from now on. It's a bit new for me too to write. It's not really realistic and I don't think you guys will like it, but I'm going to write everything my weird brain comes up with.
Tegan
"I'm gonna miss this place." I look at frowning Sara as she looks at the stark empty dorm room. All her furniture has been moved to our new apartment. Only few things we have to leave here because they came with the room.
I hand the last box to Emy and pull my pants up. Sara is still frowning when I turn around to look at her. When I turn back looking at Emy, I see her with a frown as well, looking all around the room. I've heard they shared quite the beautiful memories in this place, but I want to make my own now with Sara. Emy for sure will be included if she desires, but I want my own special type of memories with Sara in our new small and pretty place.
"And this is the last box," I say as I pull my pants up again, it insists on falling.
"Alright," Emy says, "gonna get it in my car and drop you two whenever you're emotionally ready to leave." She directs the last phrase to Sara; however, not to me.
Sara nods with her lips crooked in a frown that kind of does break my heart.
"Give me some time with her, I'll get her out of this mood," I say to Emy. "You can just relax in your room, Em. I'll text you when we're ready." I basically kick Emy outside of my room, and she gets it, because right now she's giving me a nod with a knowing smile and walking out of my room.
I turn around and face sad Sara. "I thought you're happy about moving, Sasa?"
"I am," she says very unenthusiastically. "I just feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life and I'm kinda anxious about it. It's like..." She pauses, sighs, then continues, "I feel like everything is changing and it scares me."
I walk up close to her, our bodies are almost touching, but they aren't. I place both hands on both shoulders and look at her with focused eyes. "You're growing and changing, which is good. You can feel it and you're scared of it because you weren't ever ready for adulthood and you still think you're not, but I know you are." I close the distance and touch her lips with mine. It's just a little peck that makes her smile.
"How do you know?"
"You take good care of me." I shrug. "I just feel it. I mean, I see it." I blush a little bit. She nods and kisses me, a bit longer this time.
"I'm gonna miss my foolishness that accompanied this place." She looks all around the walls, they're stripped off her posters and things she has stuck there throughout the years. "I just...I want to be a bit of a fool right now." She blushes deeply.
"And how is that?" Her smile is cunning as she toys with the hem of my shirt.
"I want something from you." Her voice is raspy now. I think I understand it.
I hum.
"I want you to take all your clothes off and spread your legs while sitting on the dresser."
The dresser is one of the things we left, it belongs to the dorm. We had to buy a new one, it's a bit small, but we arranged how we are going to fit our stuff in there. I hope we don't fight over whose stuff is mixed with whose, because that's how most of our fights are, especially the past week as we came back from visiting her parents. All of my things were in her suitcase and hers were in mine. We both learned a lesson that we should never ever buy the same underwear or bra while shopping together. It's mostly my fault because I always like the stuff she picks and I pick the same things. I don't know why I do it, but I always do it as if she's the director of my life and I'm the little child following all her steps.
I look at the dresser and laugh a bit while giving her a nod. I never mind free sex, that's like a birthday gift to me. She can easily get me to strip and quickly get between my legs and take all that she wants from me.
She unzips her jeans and then unbuckles it. I'm naked now. She unbuttons her jeans and motions for the dresser. I place my bum on the cold wood and shiver. I spread my legs fully and look down at my recently shaved cunt. Though, I only notice the irritation that's giving me a very disturbing discoloration in my inner thighs and bikini area.
Sara notices it immediately, she bends down and places her knees on the floor. Her thumb runs across the fiery redness and I hiss when she touches it. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to do you with the strap," she mumbles as she looks between my legs. "What happened there?" She finally looks up at me.
"Stupid pads. I told you they cause me a rash. I'm super sensitive."
She laughs. "Oh," she says, shaking her head, "that's what happened." I give her a quick glare. "You were so uncomfortable when we had sex on New Year's Eve I thought I was so terrible."
"I said you weren't. I just didn't wanna mention it because it didn't matter and it was dark, and like, ya, it didn't matter." I look down at my pussy and then back at her face. "It has been getting worse, though."
"I'll get you something to use."
"Don't bother, already done that." I don't know why this position is already making me extremely wet when I haven't been touched yet. "Me being constantly wet doesn't really help."
"Not wearing an underwear, especially when asleep will help a lot." She squeezes my thigh.
"You'd like that." I wink at her. She gives me another squeeze.
Two of her fingers travel to where all of me wants them. The tips graze my lips so gently while she looks between my legs. I lean back, resting my head against the wall and lifting my feet to place the heels on the edge of the dresser in order to give her a full view of my vulva while feeling more pleasure as she fucks me.
"No shaving for awhile, alright?" I look down at her, her index is sliding between my slit quickly, leaving my clit throb for attention. "It's more irritated because you just shaved. Just use whatever medicine you're using if it actually helps and leave it like that."
"How do you know?" I feel her index and middle toying with my wetness, rubbing it all around my folds. "Oh," I moan with a sigh.
"Everybody gets a rash in some different body part." I look down at her again, she's not looking at me, she's very focused on my pussy, which I admit makes me a bit sheepish because when I look down I see how messy I am.
"Please don't tease," I beg her. Whenever she's about to place her thumb above my clit, she draws away, which leaves that tiny bundle of nerves jumping and aching, literally.
"I do what I want, Teetee." She bites my thigh so softly that I don't even feel her teeth. Though, I feel a finger making its way inside of my hole. I release a small moan and close my eyes. "Really wanted to fuck you wildly with the strap, but another time, when you're less hurt."
I open my eyes and look down again to find her finger in me, not moving, but I can feel it curling just a tiny bit inside in a come hither-motion.
"You should like...expose your pussy to air each day for about a few minutes, it helps." I moan loudly because she finally touches my clit with her thumb the moment she finishes her sentence.
Another finger joins her index and she begins moving the length in and out slowly. "God," I say breathlessly. "Feels so good."
"You know what I fantasize about?"
She quickens her pace, in and out, in and out, very quickly and easily. I pant as I shake my head. My hand reaches for a breast and I knead what I can find.
"That...uh...I'd film you naked and then watch what I've done to you and then when you do it to me, we'd do the same, like, I just wanna watch us doing it." I open my eyes and look at her flushed face. "I'm sick, I know. Just...don't judge me."
She looks down between my legs again. Her thumb is rubbing my fluids in a quick motion against my clit. I feel myself getting closer with her unstoppable thrusting and it's hard for me to speak.
"I..." I moan again when she hits a special spot. "Oh, God, Sara," I scream this time. "Oh, God."
She inserts a third finger and places her tongue right on the hood of my clit. I'm dizzy enough and lost between the lusty hard thrusts and between the flicking of the tip of her tongue right where I want it. I arch my back and my butt almost slips up because of the wetness I have created. My feet and legs fall off and hug Sara's shoulders. She places a hand behind my back while the other is doing me. Right when I tighten around her, she gives my clit a very rough suck that gives me small pain but humongous joy and throw me to the edge. I make more sounds as I am riding my orgasm. When I calm down, I feel her slipping her fingers out of me and dragging her tongue across my pussy thoroughly to clean me well.
I push her just a little bit and get up. I stretch in front of her roaming eyes while smiling at her. She begins stripping her clothes off and I understand immediately what she needs. It's not like I wasn't going to do her, but it looks like she's trying to be in charge. Honestly, that works with me at times when we're romantic and such, but sometimes I like to regain the control she has stolen away from me and this is one of these times, I mean, she wants more memories here, doesn't she?
As I expected, Sara is strapped. I watch her free herself from the harness and get the first view of her pussy since three days ago. We haven't had any time to have sex since New Year's Eve. I only caught glimpses of her body when she changed, which she does comfortably in front of me now. Three days ago, she allowed me inside the bathroom as she showered. I watched her washing her body as I stood behind the curtain. We were making a list of the things we needed to buy for the apartment. Then she opened the curtain and I saw her dripping nude skin. I really wanted to devour her right there but we had to be professionals about the whole moving out situation and head to the store. So I stood there watching her dry her body and get dressed.
I like confident Sara, but there's something I've always loved about bashful Sara, perhaps because I love to feel like I am the dominant one in the relationship. Although, I admit, it's a good thing that both of us are taking full control together, there's this sense of a balanced relationship and I like it as well, but right now, I just really want to be in charge and show her what I can do.
I reach for the harness and begin strapping myself. Sara is looking at me doing it.
"I don't think that's a good idea with your rash," she says.
"There's a slit in the crotch." I give her a gummy smile as I place the phallus in its right place.
She's hesitant when she wants to speak because she wants it, but says anyway, "You're...it's not a good idea."
"Don't worry, I'll put some Fucicort after we're done."
"Is that what you're using?"
"Yes. My doctor prescribed it."
"That's pretty strong."
"I told you I get a terrible rash down there."
I walk up to her and, very quickly, turn her around making her body bump into the dresser, bending her torso against it. She lets out a small scream as I straddle her from behind. "Now," I say, "I'm gonna fuck you real good you won't ever forget this place." She looks back at me with wide eyes. "Did you think I'd let you have all the charge?" I place a small kiss on her puffy lips, holding both wrists behind her back.
"You're gonna regret this." I rub the dildo against her ass, waiting for her to spread her legs so I can do what I want to do, quickly and roughly, without teasing, just pleasing and taking full control.
"You won't be saying this after you come."
She finally spreads her legs, giving me a nice view of her nice and moist cunt. My fingers instantly go there to touch her damp lips and saturated folds. I reach for her clit and rotate it very quickly, hearing her heavy breathing.
"Turn your head, let me look at you," I say. She turns her head, her cheek touching the spot I was sitting on, the wet spot I left there. I reach over to kiss her lips again, to show her I truly love her and even though we're having some kind of rough sex, we're still making love. "Do you want to play with your boobs? Play with them, babe."
"They're pressed against the dresser, kinda hard to reach them."
I insert only the tip of my index in her sweet little hole and pull out right away, gathering juices up to her clit and rubbing it from side to side.
"It's okay, lift yourself up a bit, put your hand down there and do what you like." I wait for her as she does what I told her, watching her palm one breast and lie again against the piece of wood. "If I'm hurting you in any way, tell me." I kiss her lips again and she hums.
While circling her tiny clit, I push inside of her rather quickly, pushing any type of resistance away. Her moan is scratchy and full of surprise as I begin thrusting without even giving her a chance to absorb the feeling.
"Is it okay?" I ask just to make sure. She moans in return and I understand she's fine with it. "I'd film us naked. I have a camera. Like a sex tape you meant right."
Her entire body is moving and shaking with every hard and quick thrust. I don't know how I have the power to speak, because I'm losing my breath as well.
"I don't want to come too quickly, Tegan. That's not fun."
"Who said I'm gonna let you come too quickly?" I give her one very hard thrust that makes her shut her eyes tightly.
"Uh...kinda like a sex tape, yes, but...you know, nobody can see it but us...Oh God, holy shit, Tegan, Tegan," she moans my name at the end of her sentence.
"Do you like that?"
"Yes, yes, Oh, shit, yes." Her moans are exaggerated and very fun to hear.
I pull out of her without warning, watching her hole get back to its very small size again. I turn her around and look at her messed up and full of sexual desire. I kiss her sloppily because she doesn't put much effort to kiss me back, she's tried and wants to come, I can see it. I lower my head down and give each nipple a hard suck. When I feel her grinding against me, I push her down till she's lying on the floor, same position, except I can see her cunt even better, and she can pinch and tease her nipples pretty well.
"Have you ever tried doggy-style?" While I'm asking, I push in again, very easily this time, watching her walls stretch perfectly around the dildo, hugging it and sucking it in.
"Ya," she says, but, basically, it comes out as a whiny moan.
I'm standing on my knees, pushing in and out of her. Her ass is so attractive and beautiful. I can't help not to touch it and give her a small spank. She makes a noise when I do. I look there and watch her pinching one nipple.
"But...only me doing it to Emy," she says all of a sudden.
"Of course." I laugh while thrusting. I reach for her clit and circle there again for awhile.
We stay like this for a bit until she tells me her back is hurting her very badly. I let her lie flat on the floor and I lie on top of her, still inside of her, not putting much pressure on her body. Her face is turned around and my hair is touching her cheek. I think I'm going to need my puffer after that because I'm tired and I'm losing my breath.
She takes too long to come, and I've been pushing a bit slowly since we have decided to be in this position. I want her to come already because I'm tired myself and my hips are cramping, so I return to my first ever pace, thrusting in like a maniac, making her scream and squirm under me. I snake my hand till I reach her clit and circle there very quickly. My other hand is on the floor, giving me support to be in this irritating position.
"I'm...I'm feeling that same feeling, Tegan." I don't understand what she means first, but then she screams pretty loudly all of a sudden and I pull out quickly as I watch her squirt on the floor.
Well, now she left her mark, for sure. Now she can move happily.
She lies there for a very long time. I wash up, clean the toy, clean myself, and wear my clothes again. She's still lying there when I leave the bathroom. I worry quickly, thinking something is very wrong. But I look at her face and she smiles when she sees me. I get her the puffer and help her up. I feel a bit bad because her back is giving her a very hard time. So I pick her up to the bathroom and wait for her outside as she pees.
Her mother told me about her back last week. It was actually something very serious. Sara had a very strong inflammation that disabled her from walking. Her cortisone injections made her eat too much, which made her gain so much weight that she started hating herself. I suppose she feels this insecure because of that, maybe. I saw a couple of pictures, she looked pretty cute, I have to admit, but her mother said she hated looking at the mirror. I worry sometimes that I might hurt her and then she'd have to take these medications again and be depressed again, but I always forget about her back until she reminds me.
I clean the floor as she washes up inside. When we get in Emy's car, we're both very exhausted. I'm not liking how Sara seems so sad. I keep asking if she's alright and she assures me she is. Emy becomes curious and thinks we've fought. I tell her we didn't. She doesn't ask more, she keeps staring at Sara only.
We're very exhausted that we sleep on the mattress without any sheets and in our clothes and wake up at night. I wake up finding Sara putting clothes into the closet that we now share. I hurry to the bathroom to pee and discover the terrible redness, bumps, and pain that's covering my bikini lines. I wash and dry the entire area. I rid myself off my clothes and walk out naked. Sara's eyes widen when they look at my rash. I open my backpack and pull the toy we used today out of it since it's the last thing I've put there then search for my cream. I apply gently above the heated areas and wait for Sara to say something. I grab a large T-shirt from my opened suitcase and put it on. Sara is still not speaking to me.
"Are you okay, Sara? Did I hurt you today?" I'm so worried that I have pushed her over her limits. I told her if it is too much she can stop me. She didn't and I think she liked it. But now I'm scared because she's silent and seems moody.
"Why did you let me...squirt again?" she whispers so coyly while looking at a cardigan before putting it in her side of the closet.
I walk up to her and stand behind her. I give her the space she needs but try to show the support I want to show. "Sara," I say very gently and calmly, "I don't know how I do that but I don't think I can really control it?" She's still not looking at me. "Are you ashamed of it?" She nods quickly? "Why?"
"It's weird."
"It's not...it happened to me before too."
"It did?" She suddenly turns around, more focused and a bit surprised. I nod. "With who?"
"The first woman I had real sex with. I always thought she knew how to do it. Like she made me do it, but now...I don't know, it just happened. It really means you're having a very good time, you know. Nothing to be ashamed of." Sara shrugs and turns around again. "Why are you so insecure about everything? Your body parts, sex, feelings, words, tests, every damn thing." I walk closer to her.
"I...I don't know. I just am." She brushes my hand off when I touch her shoulder. I lean in and kiss her cheek from behind. "Tegan." A giggle escapes her lips when I start tickling every exposed part of her neck all of a sudden. "No, no, Tegan."
I turn her around and kiss her beautiful pink lips. "I love you so much," I whisper while my lips are still brushing hers.
"I love you too." She lets go of my grip and walks to the bathroom. Before she enters, she says, "I'm proud of you, Teetee."
I follow her inside and watch her taking her clothes off. "For what?"
She turns around not wanting to face me obviously, this shyness will never go away. "For being able to express love freely and beautifully."
"Oh." I snort a bit. "Are you gonna shower?"
"Ya." She eyes the toilet first but then makes her way inside the tub. She closes the glass door and I stay outside.
"Did you want to pee? Do you want me to go out?" I raise my voice just a little so she can hear me over the sprinkling water.
"No, I'm fine." We both pause for a second. "I would have asked you to turn around anyway."
"Oh ya, now you do that." I laugh a bit and sit on the counter. "Even sitting is hard," I simply mumble to myself.
"Oh, right, what's up with your situation down there?" she asks.
"Didn't you see yourself?" I hear her little laughter from inside the tub.
"Sleep with your knees bent and widely spread." She laughs more and I can hear the mocking tone.
"Fuck you." She laughs more. "If it isn't for your stupid pads."
"Don't you wanna shower?" she asks, changing the subject.
"No, I'm tired." I yawn as soon as I say it. I need more sleep. We need to clean and tidy this place but not tonight, nope, never.
"Lazy, dirty, whore."
"Bitch."
We continue throwing mocking words and cusses at each other the entire time we're in the bathroom. Sara puts on lace undies and turns me on again, which is not good for my rash because when I'm wet I'm a mess, literally wetting my thighs and everything else. I'm not even wearing an underwear and it's embarrassing how wet I am just because she put a piece of lace on her ass. She puts on a tank top and I watch her boobs jiggle as she bends down cleaning the floor or picking up my clothes from our bedroom.
I think it's the sense of sharing a home with a lover that's making me feel even more excited. Yes, it is certainly the feeling that I can have her all to myself anytime we both want to, and we can just laze around or do anything we want alone, in this place. It feels great, it feels magical.
Sara complains about her hunger and my stomach growls in response. She pinches my tummy slightly and pulls my hand to the kitchen. The good thing is that even the fridge she had at the dorm was hers, because she wanted a bigger one so her dad got her her own one. So now it's here, and our food is still in it. But sadly, we barely have anything to eat. She hands me a bottle of water and takes one for herself, chugging all of it at once. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and offers to make boiled eggs.
"It's kinda all we have...unless you want cereal or fruits."
I groan loudly as I take a seat at the kitchen table. "That's not gonna fulfill the Tegan hunger."
"I'll cut you little cucumber and tomato slices with it. You can eat it with a bread."
"That fulfills the healthy Sara hunger, not the beastly Tegan hunger. Can't we order something?" I smile widely at her.
"No," she says sternly. "We have to talk about the costs, bills, and taxes right now." I huff.
Okay, I'm not excited about having an apartment to myself anymore. And I love it more when Sara is just a shy little human being, not when she's a responsible adult reminding me that this is not the ideal Tegan world that I have painted in my head.
Sara puts the eggs on the stove and joins me, sitting opposite to me. "Okay, I made a list and divided everything." Sara hands me a little notebook that has been there on the kitchen table and I haven't seen it until now.
"Damn, you're so arranged." I look at the tables she made and how much we'll have to pay.
It's too much. Too damn much.
"Yes." She smiles proudly. "Aren't you the business woman though? Do your job."
"True, true." I start studying everything she has jotted down and discuss who's going to pay what until our eggs are ready.
"You can pay that, right?" I ask a bit hesitantly when I watch her concerned face. "Because if you can't, I can."
"No, no, I can." She swallows what's in her mouth and says again, "I'm just kinda nervous. It feels overwhelming and new. I wish I can just find a job and help you with my own money."
"I'm not even helping me with my own money, Sasa. My dad is helping as much as your dad is. We're just starting, eh?" She nods.
When we finish, we both go to the bathroom. I pee in front of Sara and she pees while I'm turned around. We brush our teeth and go back to the bedroom. We sleep on our new bed. We have sold the two beds Sara had and got this new one we can share together. Sara having her own furniture in her dorm room did help us a lot. I tell her goodnight and she tells me goodnight and the light goes off.
I wake up before she does, so I just sit up, bend my knees and spread them to get good air between my legs, it better give me good results as Sara said. I stay like this for about fifteen minutes, thinking of everything, thinking of my life and how it's different now, thinking of my love and the fact I can have one, thinking of my parents and how they don't matter, thinking of what I can do and what I thought I couldn't. Life is beautiful this way when you have a beautiful, sweet girlfriend, good education, a place to stay, something to eat, someone to talk to, someone to hold at night, and a good friend. This is the life I've seen in movies and series and never thought I'd have it. I wish to live it like this forever. I wish to grow with this woman sleeping beside me till I am too tired to think of my life. I want this calm, I want this serenity, I want this peace. I don't want to worry, I hope I won't ever worry about anything that's too exhausting in its nature, coming down on me and washing the beauty of this life away.
Sara begins to stir beside me and I slide my body down a bit. I begin stroking her hair as she goes into the process of opening her eyes, rubbing them, closing them, then opening them again. Though, this time, she opens them right away and doesn't close them. They're wide and too bright like the morning. She escapes a high-pitched tiny squeal and shuts her eyes tightly. She places her hand behind her back and bites on her lower lip.
"Sara?"
"My back," dhe says, her voice is cracked. "Tegan, my back hurts too bad."
"Oh, shit, babe." I sit up again and try to turn her around on her tummy to see her back.
"Oh, God, don't." She sucks in her breath. "Look, can you run to the pharmacy...or like any store, I don't know, but can you go get me any back cramp cream? Or wait, there are these stickers you stick on your back and they heat the area? Ya, they're, like, green, I think. Just ask anybody who works and they'll give it to you." She confuses me with everything she says; so I panic.
I get up quickly, walk to the bathroom, pee, wash my hand and face, brush my teeth, and then return to my room, grabbing a boxer, then putting on a sports bra, a T-shirt, jeans, and then my parka over everything. I hurry like a maniac to get Sara what she wanted. It's as if my wife is in labour and I'm running around searching for a doctor in the hospital to come outside with a gurney or it will be too late.
I never thought I'd do that. I never thought I'd be so worried. In those past ten minutes I was running around, forgetting it's only seven in the morning, I thought of everything bad that could be hitting Sara, and then, this peace, serenity, quiet, and love all seemed to fade as I was thinking and thinking and thinking about Sara and her back and her pain. That was close, too close, I kept thinking. It shouldn't happen now, I just woke up, it's only the first ever day of a good life, I was telling myself, hoping something inside of me would hear me and reverse this tragedy. The fact that I thought of it as a tragedy tells too much about how much Sara means to me and how much I love her.
But now I'm okay, and she's a bit better. I'm back with these stickers, tolerating the smell they spread in the room, helping Sara back to sleep, making her promise me it was just a nasty morning cramp from the activities we've done yesterday. I think we should be careful during sex, but where's the fun in that? But, no, wait, it's okay, it's not just sex, it's love, yes, yes, it's love. I can do without wild, bone-breaking sex and just love slowly and gently like the waves of the ocean in a calm sunset. I can do that.
Sara even went to pee and that's good because she was able to move. She returned and told me she needed more sleep. Now I'm watching her closing an eye then jumping awake, and then repeating the entire thing until she sleeps.
I go out of the house again and do some grocery shopping. The fact that university is going to start back in less than a week isn't my favourite thing to remember. I want to enjoy my time with Sara without the whole hectic schedule of working and studying all the time. But I neglect thinking of university for now and think of what I want to buy for the house. We have no food, so I fill my cart with what we need. I'm thinking of making her pancakes. Yes, and I'd add a bit of blueberry jam and cream and she'd love it. She hasn't eaten something nourishing for the past couple of days because of the whole moving out chaos we were in. Now that we're settled, she deserves something good to wake up to.
What I also love about living alone, or with a lover, is the fact I can finally walk in the nudity I love. I stay in baggy shorts only, not even wearing any underwear because of the rash. I keep my torso without any clothing and tie my hair as I begin to work. Some consider it uncomfortable, I just feel like it's liberating and refreshing.
I hear a shuffling sound from beside me and look at the door, watching Sara walking in slowly with her bed hair and morning eyes. I smile widely at her and she does too.
"Morning," she says lazily.
"How's your back? Why didn't you stay in bed?" I take a quick look at the pan and back at her. She's smiling still, walking up to me.
"I'm good. I don't feel a thing, don't worry. Just a nasty cramp like I said. It used to happen with Emy too." She stands up next to me facing the stove, inhaling the scent of delicious morning breakfast. She turns her face to look directly at my breasts. "Why are you naked, though?" She raises one eyebrow.
"Because this is how I like to do things," I say.
"Interesting." She laughs a bit. "Aren't you scared of burning your tits?" She reaches for one breast, giving it a squeeze.
"If you're gonna make this sexual, I'm not gonna show you my tits again unless we're having sex." She laughs more.
"Aww, Teetee." She laughs more. "You know I'm gonna make it sexual. I'm your girlfriend and I'm always horny for you. And seeing your cute tits just bouncing there casually first thing in the morning is all the breakfast I want."
"You're a pig. Instead of thanking me for making you breakfast you're harassing me?" I say, a bit jokingly.
"Did I make you uncomfortable? I was just messing with ya," She steps closer to me and pecks my cheek. "I'm sorry, baby."
"I was kidding too." I smile and kiss her lips. "If it makes you uncomfortable that I'm walking like that, get my T-shirt please."
"No, no, do whatever makes you comfortable. I'll just be sitting here waiting for my food." She flips her hair and winks. Just then we hear a knock on the door, followed by a doorbell ringing and ringing and ringing non-stop. "Or go see who's the fucker ringing the doorbell like that.
First thing I hear is Emy's loud laughter. Something in me told me that's Emy, thinking she's funny ringing the doorbell like that. "It's Emy," Sara shouts from the living room. Before I can make my way to the bedroom to grab a shirt, Emy and Sara are already in the kitchen. "Senseless bitch, we could have been asleep."
"Ya, that's why I rang it like that, to wake you motherfuckers up." Emy turns her head and faces me. Her eyes go wide and her cheeks go red. "Okay...umm."
"It's not like you haven't seen her naked." At first I don't understand Sara, but then I get it, in order to make Emy our bed buddy, we need to introduce her to us this raw.
"You're in a lace underwear and a tank top without a bra and she's topless. Thanks guys, it's like you know I haven't had sex in weeks."
"Emy brought coffee, Tegan."
"Ohhh, nice."
"Yes, I thought I'd see a normal, miserable, tired couple who just moved in but apparently I walked into a kitchen porno."
"Shut the fuck up," I say. "That's how we roll."
"This is so weird." I can sense she's nervous and confused. Honestly, it is weird. The fact that Sara isn't jealous is making me annoyed, just a bit. I don't understand Sara, she loves and wants to share me, how can that be?
But, no, Tegan, no, if it's going to be this way you need to end it. We had a deal, we promised each other if one of us is just a little bit uncomfortable we won't be doing this. I want it as much as Sara wants it. I don't care, I want it.
"Tegan, go cover your tits and I'll take the pancakes out," and then Sara orders me, so I just have to obey because it gives me the comforting sense that I can only take orders from her and nobody else because I want to.
"Yes, sir."
When I get back, I see the table set and Emy is sitting. I sit next to her and Sara sits next to her on the other side. We begin to eat and talk a little bit.
"So basically you had really good floor sex yesterday while I was waiting and I was rudely uninvited." I know Emy's joking, but Sara looks at me and I look at her. We send subtle smirks to each other.
"If you want to join next time, all you have to do is ask," I tell Emy, but she probably thinks I'm just kidding.
"Ya, be nice and invite me." She rolls her eyes jokingly.
"That stupid thing of wearing no underwear isn't helping, just so you know. It only feels weird," I say to Sara. Emy raises her eyebrows and looks at me then her then back at me. "Got the nastiest pad rash, you don't wanna know."
Emy bursts in laughter. "Oh, trust me, I know too well." She wiggles her eyebrows at Sara, who gives her some strange look. "Your girlfriend right here gets that a lot."
"Oh, I see, and I was wondering why she knew a lot."
"Fuck you two," Sara says, eyeing us both with a funny scowl on her face.
"She still gets embarrassed," Emy mumbles to me, as if now she's my girlfriend she shouldn't be embarrassed. Yes, she's way more open than before, but it's Sara, she's always going to be shy somehow.
Sara and I started cleaning the place and putting everything in the boxes where they should be. Emy wanted to stay and help us. She even offered to cook us dinner. Sara told me Emy cooks nicely. And she really does, I loved what she made. Now we three are having a nice and calm evening watching TV and drinking beer. My head on Sara's lap and my feet on Emy's. They're arguing about the woman in the film wanting to have an anonymous donor instead of someone she knows. I'm guessing it's something they've argued about before.
"What would you want, Tegan?" Emy asks me. "Wouldn't you want the father to stay anonymous? Like would you want him interfering in your life and your child's life and your wife's life?"
"Uh..." I begin to speak.
"Or you don't want to have a kid at all," she says again.
"I do," I shout defensively. "I even want to carry."
"You do?" Sara and Emy both say.
"Yes?" My cheeks turn a bit red, I suppose. "What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing." Sara beams at me. "It actually makes me..." She shrugs then continues," I don't know, a bit..." Her face is so red. I think she thinks it's too early for her and I to talk about that, and yes it is, but I don't mind it at all.
"It's normal. I even have my friend set as a donor. I actually want him to be involved."
"Sara wants to carry too," Emy says, as if she's saying it on purpose just to heat up the discussion.
"I do, but I don't care if my partner wanted to carry. Like I want a kid and that's all. In future."
"I don't mind my partner carrying too if she wants. We can always both carry if the conditions were great. Like her first and me second or vice versa," I say.
"Ya," Sara says.
"What about you?" I ask Emy.
"Hell no." She shakes her head. "I ain't going through that. My body, no, just no."
"What if you have to?" Sara asks. "What if your girlfriend wasn't able to bring babies?"
"We've talked about this Sara." She sends Sara a serious look. "Plus, now you don't have to worry about it, you're with Tegan." I hear hints of jealousy in her tone. I know it's jealousy and I give her the space to express this feeling because what Sara and I are doing to her isn't nice. She deserves to be angry, mad, and, jealous. I just don't want to hurt her.
"Anyway, I'll have my opinion about wanting someone I know as a donor and you'll have yours, so let's just not argue," Sara says.
My mum calls me in that minute of pointless debating. I get up and walk to our room in order to talk to her alone. "You saved me." I laugh as soon as I tell her that.
"Tegan, hey, honey." My mum laughs a little bit too.
"Hey, mum."
"Saved you from what?"
"My girlfriend and friend are arguing about silly things," I say. "Anyway, how are you?"
"I'm great. But you, I want to know all about you," she says in a very excited voice.
"Mum, mum, mum," I say even more excitedly, "guess what." I squeal like a little girl. "I fucking moved in with Sara and it feels so good and the apartment is so nice. It's small but it's so nice. I just wanna show it to you and dad, and, like, you'll be so proud of me and you'll like Sara. She's a bit shy, but you'll like her, she's funny and weird at times, kinda like me."
"Whoa, whoa." My mum giggles. "Slow down."
"I'm just so happy."
"Aww, honey. I'm happy for you. I'm so happy. I always knew you could do it. I always relied on you in bad times, remember?"
"Yaaa." I sit on my bed and sigh in content.
"Your dad is even more proud. He's gonna give you one of his companies to run when you graduate."
"He told me." I squeal again.
"You're everything we have. You're my everything. Even when I'm mad at you, I'm happy for you."
"I love you, mum."
"I love you too, Teegles," my mum says. "I just really wanna meet Sara now."
"Aren't you coming to visit?" I bite my lower lip.
I want her to visit to see all of this, to see Sara and see the life I'm living. I want to be that woman who can run and manage everything and it's just the beginning. I want it so soon. I want to be a business woman, someone in control, in charge, someone they fear and not like because I don't care about them.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Your grandma's really sick. She's in the hospital."
"What? Really?" My lips part and my smile fades.
"Yes, her heart isn't that great. The doctors said she'll be making progress soon with the medication. If not, then she needs a surgery. So I have to stay here for a bit." Silence stops us from speaking because I'm thinking about my grandmother and not focusing much on trying to find a reply. "I'm still gonna try my best, though. If she gets just a little bit better I'm gonna visit you. For two days at least."
"Ya. Do that. Stay with her now and tell her I miss her so much."
"I will. Say hi to Sara for me."
"I will."
I say goodbye to my mother and stay in the room for a little bit, just thinking. Yes, more thinking. My grandmother is someone I really do love. My mum was young when she had me, so my grandmother took care of me most of the time when I was a child. She'd tell me stories about my mother, aunt, and uncle when they were young and stories about her and my grandfather. I loved spending my time at their place and loved tasting her mouthwatering homemade dishes. She always told me that I was too precious. She always used this word, she used to tell me, "Tegan, you are too precious, don't ever be lost." I never understood it and sometimes I still wonder about it. But as I started growing up, getting in trouble, seeing my mother getting in trouble and going through lots of hardships, I began to grasp the idea of not letting myself be lost. It always made me feel too determined to be someone powerful and strong. Even the times I felt lost because of how much I have drunk or how many girls I have slept with, I always woke up the next morning remembering I could fix it. And I did fix it. I didn't let anybody break my heart or any student tease me in junior high. I was always someone they avoided and were careful while dealing with. I was always the one who supported my mother. I was always the one my dad asked for favours he wouldn't ask anybody else to do. And now I'm here in a different city with someone I lost myself to and she's there in a hospital. I wonder if she's proud of me or not. I am still precious because I've lost myself to someone who's precious as well, and if my grandmother sees her, she'll think the same, and I'm sure she'll tell her the same thing.
I leave the room to find Emy in tears and Sara with a pained look on her face. As soon as they see me, Emy hurries wiping her tears. I sit between them and look at both of them, trying to figure it out. "What's wrong?" I ask.
"It's nothing," Emy says.
"That's not nothing."
"Emy, you need to let it out. It's okay, she understands," Sara tells her.
"It's nothing," Emy insists.
"She's just sad. She's...she's unhappy. And it's because of me," Sara says.
"It's not," Emy says.
"What's wrong, Em?" I reach for her hair and stroke it. "I hate to see you sad."
"I just, you know, feel a bit lonely."
"We're here. We're your friends," Sara says.
"We love you, Emy." I hold her head close to my chest, still stroking her hair. "We'll make you happy if you're sad."
"She slept with a girl and it was bad," Sara tells me, shifting closer to me.
"It's just that...I expected too much and she was just, I don't know, maybe it's just me. Maybe I got used to Sara's touch." I get it. Now I get it.
"Sara's touch is always here when you want it," I whisper, but making sure Sara hears me.
I get only silence, though.
Sara gets up and sits next to Emy on the other side. "Emy, we're girlfriends, yes, but we wouldn't mind having sex with you when you need it and we can or when we need it and you can. If you want to only."
Emy sits up, squinting her eyes and wiping her tears. "What does that mean?"
"It means that Sara and I are more than happy to have you in our bed if you want to. We're more than happy to make you feel good because you're our best friend."
"Isn't that, like, cheating?"
"We're okay with it, we talked about it. If one of us or you were not okay with it we wouldn't do it. But if you want..." Sara pauses.
"We can help you a bit right now," I continue Sara's sentence. I look at her for consent, however, and she nods.
"You'd do that?" I know Emy's confused, but I also know she's happy about it. She wants it even more than we want it. The people she love giving her a happy time, what's there not to want?
"If you want to." Sara smiles warmly at Emy. Emy nods shyly. "What do you want?"
I begin rubbing Emy's bare arms, getting her heated up.
"Rub me and finger me. The really harsh way you do it."
Sara looks up at me and I nod right away. I kiss Emy's cheek and she turns around smiling at me. I kiss her lips and feel that I'm doing something wrong. I open my eyes and watch Sara smiling at us. I'm not sure if it's going to turn into a threesome or not, I'm going to follow Sara's steps.
Sara lifts Emy's top up, Emy raises her arms to help Sara take it off. I move towards her neck and tickle it with kisses. Sara unclasps her bra and lets her breasts fall before me. I take one in my mouth and begin to suck. I start hearing her tiny whimpers as she holds tightly onto my shirt. I squeeze the other breast while closing my eyes. I give her other breast some sucking as well and squeeze the wet one. When I open my eyes I find my girlfriend's hand already inside Emy's pants, doing what she asked her to do. Emy's eyes are closed and her back is arched.
I guess that's why Sara wants to film us having sex. It's so beautiful to see the art you're making on someone in front of you, to be an outsider, to see it from another angle. It's not even porn, it's art, it really is art.
Sara keeps looking at me, her looks are assuring and comforting. Emy's moans rise and her body moves a lot. She's standing on her knees so I have to hold her well so she wouldn't move a lot or fall. She opens her lazy eyes and looks at us both.
"I want," she says softly, "I want you to show me your tits." She's rocking her hips back and forth and biting her lips.
I get rid of my shirt and Sara gets rid of her tank top. Emy places a hand on my breast and a hand on Sara's. She squeezes and giggles.
"You like that?" Sara asks. She nods. "We want to make you less sad, are you less sad now?" Emy screams. I think Sara is doing her really good right now.
I look down at Emy's hips and watch them moving back and forth very quickly. "Yes, yes, yes." I'm not sure if she's hitting her high or answering Sara, but then I get a brutal boob squeeze and realize she's coming.
Emy falls down on our sofa and we both get up. We look at her smiling lazily at us and thanking us. Sara puts on her tank top and puts Emy's sleeveless shirt back on Emy's body.
"You can crash here, Em," I say.
"I'll get you a blanket," Sara says. "And a pillow."
"I love you guys," Emy says. We tell her we love her too. Sara even kisses her forehead.
Sara takes my hand and walks me to our bedroom. She looks at me closely and brushes my hair. She's looking at my face, searching for any sign of regret or discomfort.
"Don't worry," I whisper. "I actually enjoyed that."
"I did too, but I will not allow it again if you have even the tiniest bad feeling about it."
"I swear it felt good. I even feel really horny right now."
"Good." she smiles. "Switch off the light, take off your clothes, and get inside the covers. I'll wash my hand and do you really good." She kisses my lips and walks out, shaking her cute ass from side to side on purpose.
I don't need to be told twice. My pussy is a sea she can plunge in for hours without it getting dry right now. If Emy's going to be the element that makes our relationship sparkle with sexual need and ecstasy, then I'm all up for it. It's better than getting it on while watching porn anyway.