Chapter's Content: smut / nudism / fat-shaming and bullying
Tegan
My eyes begin to water as I continue chopping the onion while also listening to Sally blabbering about everything she knows. I've never seen such a talkative three-year-old toddler before. I hum and listen and laugh at her tales about kids with her in Pre-K.
Sally is going to spend the day with me because Sara and Stacy are visiting Stacy's father in Florida. If it weren't for Sally being here, I would be fuming right now. I don't know how Sara convinced Stacy to leave Sally with me, and I honestly don't care, but I am glad she did. Stacy acts like she's this kid's mother, especially now that they're working on the adoption process and it's almost complete.
But here's the thing: Sara is all mine when I want her. Her body and soul is all mine. Whenever she's here we can't stop touching each other. Sometimes it's just an hour, sometimes they're four. Other times I beg her to stay over but she giggles and leaves me with guilt and excitement. When Sally's with us, though, we don't attempt to even kiss because we two have set boundaries and limits to this affair. I guess what makes it more exciting is the secrecy harbored beneath glistening lies and deceit. I suppose human nature is as malicious as Sara has told me. Human nature strives for satisfaction whether it's right or wrong, and when it's wrong it chases it even more. It's just a basic instinct in humans. I love how wrong this is and I love how my life has turned out with only some patience and thoughts.
"Teetee?" Sally asks. I take a look at her sitting on a kitchen's chair with her feet wiggling around and her pigtails moving as well.
"Yes, Snowball?"
"Why is Pearly sick?" I adore how Sally calls Emy's daughter Pearly. It's such an adorable nickname that even Pearl loves to hear. I also love how she's kind and understanding with the frail girl. My daughter is exceptionally smart and we've been told that by her own caregivers and teachers at daycare. "She is so cute."
I laugh a little and look back at the chopped vegetables in the bowl I have. I take a deep breath to think of an answer for her as I put everything in the heated pan to stir them with the marinara sauce. "I guess she was born sick, my Snowball."
"But why?"
"I don't know." I don't know, that's the truth. I don't know why innocent people suffer. I know I have to give her an answer but I don't know why. "I guess some people just get sick sometimes. You know how sometimes I have an upset tummy?" She nods. "Yes, sometimes I get that."
"Or when mummy has achy back?"
"Yes, my love." I open the oven to check on the potatoes in there. The aroma fills my nostrils and makes Sally's tummy groan in excitement. "Somebody wants food."
"Yes," she exclaims and, once again, her pigtails move with her. She looks exactly like me at this age except that her eyes are as blue as Jeremy's and her nose is as small as his as well.
"I just need a few more minutes and then we can go eat in the living room together." She claps her hands but then she pauses, staring at me with wide blue eyes. "Is everything okay, Sally? Want to use the bathroom?"
She shakes her head quickly. "Teetee?" she asks again.
"Yes, honey." I stare at her, giving her full attention.
"What does fat-ass mean?" My eyes widen and a gasp leaves my lips. Nobody curses in front of Sally, ever. It's totally banned and Sara would be angry if we did.
"Who said this word?"
She looks down at her lap and shrugs.
I kneel down to face her, a technique Sara has taught me in order to be able to get to know what's wrong with her. I get into her level, eyeing her, smiling at her. "Tell me, baby."
"They call me fatty and fat-ass."
"Who?"
"Johnny, Robby, Linda, Miranda, and Nessa." I frown, knowing those are some of the kids with her in Pre-K. "What does it mean?"
"Well, it means someone who eats too much and has a lot of weight on them, but we don't call each other that at all. It's wrong and they should be punished."
"Yes, but Ms. Bernard told them not to do it and they did it and laughed and pointed." She begins to cry. I tighten my grip around the wood of the chair, taking deep breaths because I know losing my temper in front of her will just upset her more. I can't believe my daughter is getting bullied because she's just a little bit chubby.
Instead of showing anger, I take her in to give her a hug she probably wants. "You're so beautiful, Sally. Don't listen to those mean kids. They're jealous, I promise you." She holds me, begging to be carried. She's too heavy to be picked up and I'm not allowed to pick anything too heavy anymore so I just hold her for awhile and give her some kisses until she calms down. I begin to tickle her so she laughs and forgets about those mean kids. I'll give her kindergarten some piece of my mind later, but now I need to show her love and care. "We all love you, Snowball. When mean people annoy you, just ignore them."
"What does ignore mean?" I look down at her sea-like eyes and smile.
"It means leave them alone and don't say anything back." She nods. "Because mean people should be left alone. They don't deserve attention."
"What does attention mean?" I sigh, knowing sometimes I have to translate every word because she picks up on the smallest details. She doesn't let anything go. Sometimes she points at things and asks me what they're called and I have to tell her, sometimes she asks me what they're called in French so I tell her, too. My French is bad, though. Sara is trying to learn some words because Sally won't stop asking what everything means in French and English.
We sit at the dining table to have our dinner. Even though she wants to sit on the opposite side of me, I make her sit next to me after some persuasion; she can barely reach the table and can't eat well on her own. She doesn't let me put on a bib for her, claiming she's too old for that.
"You'll stain your clothes," I say.
"No," she shouts. "You will, not me." She glares at me.
"I don't do that."
"Yes, you do." She giggles. "Look." She points at my shirt. I look down, finding a yellow spot there. I sigh while she evilly smirks at me.
"I was cooking." I frown purposefully but she shakes her head, determined to prove me wrong. "Fine, but if you stain your clothes you'll have to dance around with me, okay?"
"Okay." She giggles again. That's one of Sara's tricks to make her move because sometimes she tends to be lazy and spends hours seated in the same place. But whenever she's here, she has some vibrant energy that nobody can comprehend. She likes to run around and dance and move with me. It's like she loses herself when she's here. It's like she knows.
We have another tiny argument about how she should eat. She wants to eat her own food but I insist on helping her even though she refuses. This girl is so independent and it's awesome because I was just like that until I became dependent on Sara. Sara, however, was so dependent until I fucked up her life and now she's the most independent person I know.
Sally, indeed, ends up staining her clothes and I win by making her dance around with me. We hold each other's hands and spin around as her laughter fills the place. Seeing her small eyes close and her cheeks flourish and hearing her gleeful sound ring in my ears is just a blessing I never thought I'd get to experience. I wish I can pick her up and spin her around in the air like Stacy does sometimes, but carrying her has destroyed my uterus. That time I ran after birth was what caused all the damage. I didn't take care of myself after. I always have to be careful now so I wouldn't have to suffer another prolapsed uterus.
As soon as I put Sally to sleep, I dial up Sara to inquire about Sally's situation at Pre-K. Two long rings and then I'm met with her voicemail. I huff irritatingly and put my phone down. As my daughter takes her nap, I leave her alone and begin working downstairs. A little while later my phone rings and, without looking at the caller ID, I know it's Sara.
"Hi," she greets. "What's up?"
"Hey. How are you?"
"I'm good." She chuckles. "Is everything okay?"
"I just miss you." I test the waters to check if her mood is ready for shock or not.
"Tee," she whispers. "Not now. We had a deal."
"Yeah, yeah." I guess she's alright. Our deal was me never calling her about such matters, especially in such trips with Stacy. People mustn't know; that was the rule. "Okay, I have to tell you something."
"Yeah?" she asks. "Is Sally okay?"
"Yes," I say then I pause and change my mind. "No."
"Why?" she asks loudly, panic attacking her octave. "What happened?"
"She was talking to me today about some kids calling her fatty and fat-ass at Pre-K. She cried."
"Oh, my God!"
"Yeah. She's getting bullied."
Silence.
I hear Sara's breaths but nothing more.
"Are you crying?"
"Yeah."
"Sara," I whisper.
"She's getting fat-shamed and bullied and she's so young." As I hear Sara's sobs, I pause to think about what this might do to our daughter. It might take away her self-esteem. It will destroy her personality. It might hinder her development. It will probably make her hate socializing and hate school. I begin to panic as well.
"You should talk to her about it." We should do it, but I'm just the aunt after all. I give comfort and that's why she told me. The mother, though, is just there to save her.
"Did you talk to her?"
"I made her feel better, or tried to, but…"
"Please keep an eye on her these two days I'm not home." Sara sniffles. "Stacy's going to freak out." I can't help not to chuckle. "What?"
"Nothing."
"Tegan, come on." Sara sighs. "You know how much she means to Stacy."
"Where are you exactly?"
"Huh?"
"Stacy's not next to you?"
"No," Sara says. "She's visiting some old friends." I know I can't see it, but somehow I can envision the eye-roll coming from her.
"I miss having sex with you. I really just want to fuck you."
"Tegan," she exclaims tensely.
"Ugh." Now I do roll my eyes. "You've been having sex with her?"
"Ugh, Tee, seriously. We agreed this won't happen." We agreed she doesn't ask me about my sex life and I don't as long as we're having sex together and I'm not sleeping with a lot of people.
"I'm just curious."
"Well, no," she shoots. "She doesn't want to have sex in her dad's home. Happy now?" That means Sara has asked her for sex. I honestly thought their sex life was going to deteriorate when ours flourished but Sara is just a fucking sex monster whose heart falls for every vagina owner if it could.
"It's been so long for me." More than a month because Sara has been busy.
"Me, too." Lies. "Not even with Emy?"
"How can I sleep with her when Pearl is always sleeping in the middle?" She hums, "And I promised you I wouldn't sleep with any stranger because I do actually care about your health."
"Mine but not yours?"
"Nope," I honestly respond.
"You worry me sometimes."
"Well…" I shrug.
"Alright. I have to go. I'll call later to check on Sally. She's napping, right? Still following the same schedule?"
"Yeah. It's her nap time." I hear noises in the background. Stacy must have come home. I sigh and bid Sara goodbye then hang up.
At night both Sally and Cindy cuddle up to me as we watch an animated film before sleep. I check on Sally's condition every minute. I tried to talk to her about the bullying in the afternoon, but she wasn't so responsive. She was playing with Cindy and I didn't want to put her in a bad mood. I made popcorn and convinced her to watch a film with me. I can see she's drifting off to sleep but I want her to stay awake till nine so she doesn't wake me up before it's time to go to work.
I begin to tickle her and kiss her cheeks. She giggles, pushing my head away. "No, no, Teetee."
"You don't like tickling?" I look down at her flushed face and chubby cheeks. Wide glittering eyes stare at me and I fall in love with her innocence and beauty. I always make myself sad when I stare at her, when I spend time with her, and when I just hold her. I wish she knew. I wish someday she would know.
"I want to go to the bathroom."
I sit up immediately, forgetting my inner torment. Sally's smart enough not to have any accident but if she's in a place she didn't know, she wouldn't ask anyone to take her to the bathroom and would wet her pants. It only happened twice and Sara harshly yelled at her that she never repeated it again. Stacy yelled at Sara for yelling at Sally and I was just angry that everyone was yelling at everyone. That was the second time. I wasn't with Sara the first time it happened. I guess that's why Sara got angry. But it felt seriously horrible to see her that mean with my baby. I didn't like Stacy shouting at her, too. When I confronted her about it, she told me that I had done way worse to her and I had said way meaner words to her as well. I guess she won't ever let that go.
I drop Sally off in the morning and head to work. I have a long day ahead of me. I have calls to make and meetings to finish. I have to pick up Sally in the afternoon and get back to work as I do each day. I usually keep her in my office and give her something to busy herself with; a snack, a coloring book, or my iPad. But today I have to leave a bit earlier to speak to the principal and councilor about her situation. I've already informed her kindergarten that I am passing by and also told Sara about it. Sara doesn't think it's a good idea but I just can't handle my daughter getting bullied. I'm not going to wait for her and Stacy to come back so they can take care of this. I think I know what's best for my own daughter right now.
Sara calls me three times to tell me what I should or should not say which makes me frustrated. "Did Stacy tell you to tell me this?" I ask.
"No," she answers. "I just don't want you to fuck up."
"I am not," I shout.
"Chill," she says. "That's the thing. You always shout. You might lose it in front of them."
"If they were dicks to me, I would lose it. I'm her mum, too."
Sara sighs and that's the only thing she can do because that's the truth.
"Please don't worry and let me take care of it. My heart is breaking thinking some mean ass is calling her fat."
"I told you she was going to suffer later on. I just didn't think it would be that early." Sara huffs. "Kids are mean."
"That's because they have fucked up parents. I'm pretty sure they hear those things from their parents. Kids don't know how to be mean nor lie unless they were taught that."
"Yeah," she says. "You're right."
In the car I fix my hair and my blazer then take one final look at myself in the mirror before I leave to speak to Sally's principal.
I am greeted warmly at first. I get directed to an office with three people. They introduce themselves as the principal, one of Sally's homeroom teacher, and the councilor. We chat a little bit and I explain why her aunt is taking her mother's place today.
"I was concerned when she spoke to me about the bullying yesterday. She began to cry and her mother and I couldn't wait until she came back to understand what's going on," I say shortly. "I'm just surprised her teacher did not stop the bullying. These are just kids and if they're not stopped right now this kind of behavior will continue and it will affect my daughter's…my niece's behavior." I clear my throat. That slip of the tongue make them stare at me with suspicion. Their eyes are roaming, scanning me. "I think of her as my daughter. An aunt can be a mum." I wink to make the councilor laugh.
At least she's hot.
No, Tegan, focus. You're not here to lust over middle-aged women.
"I did notice the bullying and did attempt stopping it. Sometimes I group the kids to play together or do some type of work and I don't really hear everything they whisper."
"I thought it is your job to watch what the kids are saying. They're literally three or four." I glare at her and she puts her head down.
"But your daughter might always be bullied because of her weight," the principal says.
"Her weight?" I shout. "Do you hear yourself right now?"
"Ms. Quin, please calm down," the councilor interferes. "What Ms. Herring meant is that maybe you should also treat the problem at home so Sally can feel better about herself. It is also healthier for her to lose some weight."
"Sally is in perfect shape. She's not tall and she's a bit chubby and that's why she looks heavier than all the kids. I'm not going to teach a kid to hate herself and her body at such a young age. Don't you think people should just learn to stop hating and shaming each other? Don't you think those kids should be punished? Or at least you should get their parents and let them know what they're doing to Sally? Because what I'm hearing right now is you trying to put the blame on an innocent three-year-old toddler for not being a skinny child so she could be loved. That's some bullshit right here." I take a deep breath and remember Sara's words. Count till thirty and do not lose it. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. "I don't think her mother would like to keep her in this place when she comes back."
"Ms. Quin, please sit down, we're still discussing this," the principal says when I stand up. She stands up, too.
"I don't think so. It seems like you're trying to find an excuse for the kids and put the blame on Sally instead."
"No, you're getting it wrong. We were merely discussing the options. Of course we strongly condemn the behavior of those kids and we are planning to solve this issue by getting their parents but you're not giving us the space to speak," she says again.
"No you're not," I say. "You're just saying this because I mentioned it."
I decide I shouldn't put up with this conversation any longer. I leave and wait until they get Sally for me. I wish I can just pick her up right now. I take her backpack and give her a hug. I ask about her day and whisper in her ear if somebody did tease her. She shakes her head and grabs my hand. I leave, watching the three women standing in the corner looking at me. I'm actually paying money to put her here. I thought this is one of the best kindergartens out there. I remember Stacy saying it isn't a good option but I didn't listen to her and convinced Sara to put her here. Stacy doesn't know I'm the one paying for her education. She thinks it's Sara's money. Now I have to change places and go to the place Stacy suggested. She's going to win this again but I honestly don't care anymore. I just want my daughter to be in a safe environment. I want her to get the best education and have the best people in her life.
I take her back to the company. She sits on my lap as I do some work on the computer. She falls asleep soon after and only wakes up when we have to leave. I buy pizza on the way home to cheer her up. She ends up jumping up and down on the mattress when we get back home because she's happy. On the phone, she tells Sara about how tasty the pizza is and how happy she is.
"Thank you, Tegan," Sara says. "Her principal actually called me trying to convince me to keep Sally with them, so I guess you gave them a piece of your mind?"
I lower my voice because Sally's watching cartoons next to me. "Yeah. Those fuckers had the guts to blame it on her weight and then they took their words back when they saw me leaving and deciding to get her out of there."
"Wow. What did they say?"
"That we should watch her weight." I shake my head, looking at her innocent face and bubbly smile. She's so precious and beautiful. "I hate this world we're in."
"You did the right thing, Tee," she says. It honestly makes me smile. I like when she agrees with me. I like it when I'm a good person for her and to her. "I miss you and I'm all yours when I'm back home."
I giggle. I don't know why her words make me feel bashful. I miss her indeed; her velvety skin and her soft touch. God, I miss her breasts against mine and her cunt in my face. I miss her fingers inside me and her juices all over my thighs. I miss watching her tits bounce and I miss her holes and sounds. "Fuck, Sara," I whisper. "I'm getting wet."
"Shush. The kid is next to you. Wait two more days. You better not be busy this weekend."
"No. I'm all yours." I smirk, getting an idea. She's going to be all mine not the opposite. "Or you're all mine." I chuckle
"Alrightttt, keep it in your pants." She clears her throat. "So tell mum I'll call her later and don't let Sally sleep late. Also, don't forget to check on Emy because she called me tod…phew, she's gone."
"Oh…okay. That was weird."
"Look, I have to go. She's going through something and is a bit moody. Talk to you later."
"Okay…alright."
I pick Sara and Stacy up from the airport on Friday. I drive them home and get back to my empty space. I immediately feel nostalgic and lonely that Sally's not around anymore so I grab my car keys and drive to Emy's.
I find her cleaning when I get there so I begin to help her.
"You don't have to clean, Tegan," she says, wiping the sweat off her brows. "My place's small; I'll finish it. I just don't usually find the time doing this unless Pearl's asleep."
"I know, honey," I answer, not stopping. "I just like to help you because you always help me."
"Do you want coffee?" she asks. She sits down on the floor and sighs. "God, I'm tired."
"I'll make some when we finish."
"I have to give Pearl a bath. I can't feel my back. I've been running around all day. Amber visited and we spent the time trying to get her to walk better but no use."
I stay quiet. I don't even know what to say. These moments are awkward for me. Giving up and being miserable is awkward for me. Saying sorry doesn't do it anymore. It's not like it fixes things. She hates hearing it in fact. Sometimes I feel like she's waiting for Pearl to die so she can just rest. It's like she aged ten years in those past two years. She's not the same happy person I met years ago. The blue in her eyes has faded into a sad grey. Darkness is always underneath them and there isn't any red on her cheeks anymore. I always see her in black or beige shirts and some jeans. Her hair is always tied up in a ponytail now. No makeup ever covers her face. I don't even remember the last time she's put on a bra. Having to cut Pearl off her milk took a long time and made her fall into deep depression. She couldn't do it for what seemed like eternity and Pearl always cried when she tried to wean her. Now that she finally weaned her, her breasts don't look the same anymore. It's like gravity just sucked all that weight down and she didn't care enough to exercise to get them back to their original shape. Sara did. Sara worked hard to get her breasts to look the way they used to and, even though, they don't completely look like they did before, they still look ten times better than Emy's. Mine didn't get affected because I barely breastfed and I guess I'm just more athletic than them. Sometimes I just hate myself for comparing or noticing or even staring, but I can't help it. I always compare every woman to Sara. It's a habit I can't get rid of.
"I'll give Pearl a bath," I tell Emy. "You just rest and take time for yourself."
"You really don't have to."
"I want to." She knows I enjoy my time with Pearl and she, too, loves when I give her a bath. I get in the tub with her in my bra and panties and wash her well. She tries to tell me about her day and giggles whenever I throw some foam at her face. She enjoys it and I do, too.
We drink coffee and chat until Pearl is awake. She loses it when she sees me. She claps her hand and crawls up as fast as she could to me. She holds on to my knees and pushes herself up so she can get on my lap. I help her quickly. She instantly suffocates me with her warm hug.
"I miss you, Teetee." She kisses my cheek and giggles.
"I miss you too, my Pearly." I laugh at her giggling and her mother laughs, too.
"I'm starting to get jealous. She almost walked up to you."
I wink at Emy, trying my best to cheer her up. I don't even know why Pearl can't walk. I'm not sure if it's just something she can't do or something mental. The doctors can't even tell what does that have to do with her lungs. She's supposed to walk and interact normally but I guess there's something wrong with the way Emy brought her up. I'm pretty sure it's just fear. When I hold her hand and help her take a few steps I can see progress. Once I let go, fear attacks her angelic features and she decides to give up and sit down. I don't understand it but I'm going to try my best to help her depend on herself and walk. Amber refused getting a wheel chair because she knows her daughter can learn how to walk and it's Emy hindering her progress with her special treatment as if her daughter is nowhere near normal. Her daughter is sick, but she's normal and Emy can't get this through her brain.
Pearl ends up falling asleep in the bathtub once again. She puts her head against my chest and closes her eyes.
"Damn, she's that sleepy?"
"She's always sleepy. It's her medication." I kiss her head gently. "She's gonna get cold. Is the water cold?"
"No, it's still warm. But, yes, you should get her out. Let me just wash her body real quick. I really hope she doesn't pee on me."
Emy laughs. "She doesn't do that, Tegan."
"So if she's smart enough to use the bathroom when she wants to and speak to all of us normally, then she's smart enough to walk so please stop putting this fear of disability in her because your daughter is capable of doing anything she wants to."
"My daughter is going to die soon."
"God," I shout, making Pearl stir. "What's wrong with you?" I whisper.
"It's the truth and you fucking know it. Once her lungs stop functioning it's over. No three-year-old out there has an oxygen mask attached to her 24-7. None of them wear those ugly glasses and hearing aids. She's not like the rest and everyone knows it." She storms out with tears in her eyes. Now I'm left alone to deal with Pearl.
"Emy, come back here," I shout. Pearl is waking up again. "Emy, I can't pick her up. I'm not allowed to do that."
"Ugh," she moans from the corridor. "You and your stupid uterus." She grabs Pearl so I can get up. "Get me the loofah, let me at least wash her before she's out."
"I'll do it. Just prepare the towel." I hold onto her arm and she's holding onto Pearl, who's staring at us with wide eyes, water covering her glasses. "Hurry."
"Fine," she says. I wash up Pearl quickly as she sits against the ledge of the bathtub and Emy wraps the towel around her then picks her up to take her to the bedroom.
"I'll shower quickly, okay?"
"Suit yourself." She closes the door and leaves.
I spend the night with Emy. Pearl sleeps in the middle because Emy is going overboard teaching her daughter codependency. When I wake up in the morning, I find Pearl seated on my legs, staring at me. She doesn't have her glasses on but she can tell it's me.
"Hi," I greet groggily. "Who got you up here?"
"I did," she says.
"Hmmm. How?"
"I climbed." She laughs. Emy groans. Pearl laughs again.
"How did you climb? Show me." If she can climb, she can walk.
"I put my legs on your legs and I climbed."
"What's going on?" Emy says. I look at her, eyes barely open. "God, I'm exhausted."
"I woke up and found her sitting here."
"Yeah she does that with me, too." I roll my eyes. "What?"
"You're unbelievable."
"I want my glasses," Pearl says. "Mummy."
"Yes, yes." Emy reaches for her glasses on the nightstand and Pearl extends her arms to get them. I watch her as she struggles putting them on so I help her. She pushes her entire weight on me and her head hits my chin.
"Ow, fuck."
"Shhhh, don't say that." Emy glares.
"I'm sorry," Pearl says. She hugs me and leaves me there until she decides to get up half an hour later when she realizes she's hungry.
Sara and Stacy spend all Saturday with Sally and I'm left alone with Emy and her misery. I guess I deserve these conflicting thoughts I have right now. I denied Sara for so long until she slipped away from me completely. I've always known I won't love someone else and I've always known I won't want to touch someone else. It hurt me thinking I'm doing this thing the world thinks disgusting and repulsive, but the more I pushed it the greater the need has become. I've fantasized about touching her for so long until it finally happened. I used to relish those soft touches when she hugged me. I often masturbated thinking of her late at night until we ended up masturbating in front of each other a few months ago.
Everything changed after. I thought I'd regret it but I just found myself craving more of her. She wasn't so sure about it so she didn't cave in immediately. It was hard to move from the mutual masturbation to actual fucking but she needed Stacy in her life and I needed her in mine. It was a sick deal, but we were both okay with it.
The first time we touched was just magical. I cried. It's sad and embarrassing to admit it, but I cried the entire time we were kissing and fingering each other. It was just a mess of kisses and hands touching each other's bodies. It was like seeing the sun after a harsh winter. It felt like tasting something sweet with your bitter coffee. It was real and bittersweet and toxic.
Sara calls me Sunday morning to affirm she's coming over to spend the day with me. All day. Only with me. No Sally. No Stacy. No Emy. Sally will have her Stacy time and Sara and I will bond.
I prepare everything my mind thinks of. I clean myself well and wash my piercings. I change the sheets on my mattress and wash all the sex toys I know we'll need. The closer it gets to eleven in the morning, the more aroused I feel. I decide to strap myself so I can just fuck her as soon as I see her. I pick a new red phallus I've recently purchased. I've only used it once on her and she loved it. I prepare the plugs and the nipple clamps. We're still trying to get her used to them again but today she's all mine and I'm going to do whatever I want to her body.
When the doorbell rings, I run to it quickly and before she could speak I pull her inside to kiss her. She giggles through the kiss but doesn't let go.
"Fuck, I miss you." I bite her lower lip and kiss her again.
"Tee, chill." She takes a deep breath, taking a look at the dimmed living room. "Why did you close all the curtains and turned off the lights?"
"Because you'll be naked all day today and I don't want anyone to see you."
"Hmmm. We have a bedroom for that?"
"Nah, babe." I wink at her, already removing her jacket. "You'll be naked. Walk around the place naked. Eat while naked. Talk to me while naked." She frowns. "It's your fantasy and I know it."
"Tee, no. That's awkward."
"I'll be naked, too. It's sensual. It feels good."
"We're gonna spend the day fucking, aren't we?" I nod with a smirk. Now I'm getting rid of her clothes for her. "Man, you're gonna make me exhausted today."
"You'll love every bit of it." I give her a quick kiss before I take off her sweater and unhook her bra from behind. "My clit just jumped staring at those." I take a breast and squeeze. She moans with a smile.
"Tee, let me sit first." I pinch her right nipple and go down to give its twin a quick lick.
"Take off your pants and underwear."
She rolls her eyes and walks up to the couch. She unbuttons her jeans and pushes it down with her underwear. "Shaved for you." She winks.
"I did, too." I chuckle, removing my clothes. "Rub your clit."
She eyes me for a bit until she obliges, her eyelashes fluttering as she waits for me to reveal myself. Once my pants are off, she can tell I'm hiding something for her. She stops her motion and bites her lip, waiting for me to get closer to her.
"Wanna see what's there?" She nods like a little impatient girl. "Fuck, this face you're giving me."
"Imma ruin your couch today."
"We're gonna ruin the house today." I lean down to kiss her while pushing down my boxer-briefs. She takes a hold of it immediately and pulls me down on top of her with it. "Don't you maybe want some lube with it?" I kiss her neck, tasting the warmth of her skin. "It might hurt."
"I like it like that," she whispers in my ears, making me dizzy.
I look down at her stomach sucked in and her cunt waiting for me. I spread her lips and direct the head of the fake cock towards her clit, rubbing quickly before slipping it in her. She sucks her breath and closes her eyes. I kiss the corner of her lips while I push in.
"Stay right here," she whispers. "Just stay for awhile and kiss me."
"You don't want me to move?"
"No." She smiles at me. "I want to feel you inside. I missed you so much." I know she doesn't mean she missed me those past few days. I know she means she misses the way we've had sex; that violent, abrupt, random, dirty type of sex. I know she wants it and loves it. I plan to get our sex to the way it has once been. I want all those crazy details, those nasty fantasies, those shocking scenarios to play in our sex life.
"I'm gonna give you the best sex you've had in awhile today." I brush my hand over her breasts, down to her stomach and up again until my finger is on her lips, tracing them. "I'll make you come so much today. I'll fuck your ass and cunt and play with every hole you have." I put my finger in her mouth and she sucks it.
"I want you to make me squirt," she says.
"I will make you squirt." I'm not sure I can do that, but I'll try. "Can I push now?"
"Yeah." She nods with a satisfied smile and I begin to move myself above her. Her eyes focus on my breasts as they dance and move and I focus on her hooded eyes. I can't believe I've pushed her away when she's the only person that can make me be myself. I can't believe I'm fucking my sister and it doesn't feel a tad wrong. We've always belonged together; otherwise fate wouldn't have made our roads meet.
I pinch both of her nipples to hear her scream and she wraps her legs around me and pushes my ass closer to her. The sounds I hear from the phallus slapping onto her cunt make me want to push even harder. I want her to cum with shouts and screams.
"Tee, I'm almost there."
She screeches, or attempts to before she covers her mouth as I thrust slowly but hard.
"Let's change the position," I suggest, slowing down completely as I hear a mixed melody of her whimpers and my tired breaths. I pull out of her slowly, the phallus full of her cum. She sits up and turns around. I laugh a little as she takes a hold of the couch's arm and gives me a full of view of her ass and pussy from behind. I slap her ass to hear her scream.
"Fuck, Tegan," she screams the moment I push inside of her. Her hole is slippery and open for me so I go all the way in feeling as her tight walls suck in the entire length. I wrap my arms around her and cup her breasts from behind. She begins moving herself against me, fucking herself slowly.
"I want you to rub yourself while I fuck you, baby," I whisper in her ears and as if she's programmed to do as I tell her, her hand moves down and her fingers itch to touch that small button of nerves she owns. "Good girl." I kiss the side of her flushed cheek, descending down to her jaw then neck and, lastly, her shoulder. I resume my motion fucking her quickly as she helps herself get off.
Once I feel the pressure and tightness, I take a hold of her fleshy stomach as she leans down on the arm of the couch to release her pleasured and pained moans and cries.
I give two final thrusts before I slip away of her and watch her collapse on the couch with a soft sigh. I walk up to where her face is and stand in front of her with the dildo still attached to me. She gives me a tired yet satisfied lopsided smile. "I'm suddenly free of stress," she says.
"I fucked the stress out of you." She yawns while I unstrap myself. "I gotta pee badly but I want to get off first."
"Come here." Lazily, she extends an arm to me. I walk up towards her. My cunt faces her, my clit waits for her, and my piercing glitters for her.
A finger is casually and quickly inserted in me. I expected her face to fuck me but I guess she's too lazy to do that now. I close my eyes and enjoy her finger in me. Her thumb presses at the end of the barbell, pulling it down to give me that sense of euphoria she knows I love. When I cum, she sucks her finger the way she sucked mine minutes ago.
"Go piss," she says with another yawn.
I leave her alone to go pee and on my way back I grab the nipple clamps and butt plug. She's going to love this.
I find her eyes closed when I get back. I don't disturb her rest, but I know she's awake and waiting for what's coming next.
"I hid all your clothes," I say. "No more clothes for you." I sit at her feet and put them on my lap. Her plump ass faces me and I crave playing with it. I stroke it slightly, hearing her soft breathing. I squeeze and I feel her flinch. "I'm gonna stick a plug in you. Say something if you don't want it."
She doesn't. I give her another squeeze and watch as she nods her head. I spread her cheeks and push my index in, stroking the area well. I grab some of her pussy juice from earlier to wet the hole, probing it properly then inserting my digit in. I hear her sharp breath as I play with her ass. She spreads her legs. Her pussy is drenched.
"You'll have to wait," I say. "I just fucked you. Be patient." She groans and I laugh.
I put the plug in slowly then order her to turn around. She does so lazily, giving me a full view of her red and swollen cunt.
"Please," she whispers. I respond by dangling the clamps in front of her. "They hurt," she whispers again.
"I wanna try them again." I lean in to kiss her ankle. She sighs softly. My kisses fly up to her legs until I meet the velvety tenderness of her inner thighs. I take in a chunk of flesh between my lips and bite, making her shudder and whine. I lick the sensitive area well, tasting remnants of savory saturation. I surprise her with one quick lick, feeling her clit jump on my tongue. She spreads her legs even further for me, begging me with lusty eyes.
"Are you ready?" I ask. Her nipples seem ready and cheerful to receive the baggage of pain and pleasure. I love their thickness and length. I love their dark color and the way they point in need. I bite on one and bite roughly then pinch the other. I hear the scream and kiss the lips that released them to add just some fun to the ache I'm providing.
"Do it," she says.
I take my time doing it. I start with her right nipple first, wetting it once again before I cage it. She sucks in her breath, squeezing her eyes shut. I touch her clit to add some pleasure. She opens her eyes and moans softly while rotate my index on her clit gently. The left nipple is clamped next. I insert a finger inside and keep it there. I tuck it in and wait for her to get used to the pressure on her nipples.
"How are you?" I ask. She nods. "Answer." I pull the chain of the clamps, making her gasp.
"It hurts," she says loudly.
"You used to love this." I pull again.
"I don't have pain tolerance anymore."
"We must get it back." I rotate my finger inside to help her relax. "Will having another orgasm help?"
"I don't know," she says.
"Do you want me to remove it?" She shakes her head. "I want to be filled right now." I take my finger out. I suck it to taste her. "I should taste you properly later on."
"That finger was in my ass," she comments, laughing.
"Nope. It was my other hand." I get up, smirking at her. "I'll be right back." I leave her there with legs spread open.
"Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back," I shout from the stairs. "Don't move."
Am I insane for doing this? Is it too much? What if she isn't enjoying it? I want our sex life to be fun like it was before but it feels awkward for me, especially when I remember this is my sister. I have to push my thoughts away so I don't hurt us.
I wash my hands first. I guess if I wanna please her, I gotta stop making her feel paranoid about hygiene and germs since the old Sara will never go away. After that, I rummage inside my closet to pick the dick I'd like to push in me. I also choose a butt plug for me. I grab condoms and go downstairs again. I grab a cucumber from the kitchen, feeling my nerves dancing inside my stomach.
When Sara sees what I have in my hands, her complexion changes. Confusion is evident. "I wanna put this in you."
She blinks twice. "You want to stick a cucumber in my vagina?" I nod.
"Why?"
I don't know. I want it.
"It's hot."
"What if it breaks?" Her lower lip is bitten. Her legs are spread even more. Her pussy is convulsing. She wants it.
"I have a condom." I walk closely to her. "Lick it first." She sits up a bit. Her nipples are purplish. She licks the cucumber but I know she doesn't enjoy this part. I put the condom around it and she watches. "Spread your labia," I ask. She complies, still looking at me.
I push the cucumber inside slowly, leaving the condomless part of the other end poking out of her hole. Her clit sits on top with crying hunger.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," she says with a ghost of a smile.
"Are you having fun?"
"Mhm." She's looking down at herself. "What are you gonna do now?" We exchange a glance that lasts only seconds before I hand her the flesh-colored cock. "Aha." She sits up, wincing.
"Are you in pain?"
"The clamps," she says. "But it's fine." She gets up and stands in front of me. "I'm squeezing my muscles to keep the cucumber in." She takes a deep breath. Her breasts are hanging down with the weight of the clamps pulling them. There's a plug in her ass and a cucumber in her cunt. She's art for me to marvel at. "Let's go upstairs so I can fuck you."
"I wanna do it here," I say, "on the floor." She raises a brow but I don't hesitate. I squat on the carpeted living room ground. "I'll clean the house after." I stroke my lips to grab some of that water in them. She stares at me in wonder, stars and sex in her eyes. I drag my finger down towards my other hole and give myself the same treatment I've given her.
"You could've told me to fuck your ass."
"I do what I wanna do." I smirk as I push the plug inside then sit down spreading my legs. "Now come here and fuck me."
"With my hand?" She moves towards me, obviously struggling to keep the cucumber inside because it slips down a little and she pushes it in again. "I'm gonna be sore after this."
"That's what I want." I pull down the chain when she hovers over me. "I cause that type of pleasure and pain not your girlfriend. I want you sore enough to say no to her." I pull her face down to kiss her. Even though I'm underneath her, I'm still taking the lead. "I want you fucked hard and dry not to be wet around her." I squeeze her breasts. "I want you to be turned off by her."
"You're mean," she mutters, kissing my chest. She takes a little time playing with my nipples. She traces the barbells and licks a little bit, hoping to add some of that pain I've given her. She kisses my stomach and licks my flesh. She bites on the skin right above my clit but does not touch it. I know she won't eat me because I haven't eaten her, but I don't show her that I want it. She spreads my legs for me and immediately fucks me with two fingers.
"I don't like sharing what's mine," I finally say. Her honey orbs scan mine as she fingers me quickly. "You or Sally." Harder and faster, that's what I want. "I know I've lost what's mine, but I still hate sharing it."
"You don't get to decide sometimes." She pulls out and grabs the dick. She slaps my left thigh with it but I don't give her the scream she wants. A shudder will do. A gasp will suffice. Another slap; another gasp. "That's how life is." With a smirk, she slaps my clit then pushes the head on the piercing and rotates just a tad to spark the fire. She knows what she's doing and she's about to make me scream. "Ready?"
"Mmm." I close my eyes, enjoying the lazy rotations and strokes until I feel the sudden pressure meeting me without the warning of foreplay. I'm full at once with eyes wide open and lungs wheezing. "Holy fuck." I shouldn't have chosen such a big size.
She's using her hand so her thrusts are even faster than ever, but it's fine because I'm close enough and I don't care about the pain. She lies on top of me and we make out until I cum.
"I have to pee again," I tell her.
"Wow." She sits on the floor, leaning against the couch. The cucumber is on the floor next to her. "It slipped out and I'm not pushing it in again."
"It's fine." I laugh. "I pee too much because my stupid uterus presses on my bladder."
"It's down again?"
"It's always going to be like that. I just have to be careful so I won't have a third prolapse."
"Ouch." She removes the clamps slowly but keeps the plug in. "I'm tired of those."
"It's fine." I walk up the stairs and she follows. I head towards the bathroom, knowing she's behind me, too. "Are you gonna watch me piss?"
"Yup." She stands against the door. I take out the plug and sit on the toilet. "I have to pee after."
When I finish, she takes my place and I wash my hands.
We meet each other in my bedroom. "I have to call Stacy to ask about Sally." She's looking around for her clothes, I can tell.
"No clothes for you."
"Tegan, no," she whispers. "I'm too exhausted to have sex."
"We don't have to have sex." I shrug. "No clothes."
"You'll fuck me whenever I stand close to you. I know you." I snort when she scowls. "Seriously, I'm even hungry."
"We'll go down and cook but no clothes."
"Fuck you."
She calls Stacy and talks to Sally. I guess she's right because I can't get my hands off of her. I sit next to her and stare. It's not like she doesn't do it, too. But, the thing is, I can't stop touching her. Just as she hangs up after providing lies about us only talking and bonding, I attack her again with my mouth. This time I eat her out. I give her another orgasm and leave her laughing at my lies.
"You loved it?" I ask.
"Come here," she whispers with a sunny smile. "I'm hungry for you. Give me that cunt. Sit on my face."
"God, I love you."
I ride her face, rejoicing the sensation of a tongue stroking all my folds to bring me to heaven. We fall down on the mattress, napping for a little bit until her stomach growls, reminding me to feed her.
"Let's go get your little tummy something to eat."
"Clothes," she says.
"No way."
We wash up in the bathroom and head down, naked and happy. She feels awkward but I wanna make her feel good about her body. I want her to expose herself to me. That's who we are and that's our love. It's fine if we spend the time in nudity in front of each other. We're already different from everyone and we share something nobody shares. Our bond is far from ordinary. Our love is special in every sense and form.
"What do you wanna eat?"
"I want to get dressed."
"No way." I open the fridge to see what I have. "Sit down," I order. "I'll cook for you."
"On your chair?" she asks nervously, with folded arms.
"Yup." I grab the shrimps I have bought and then get the pasta from the pantry. "How about some rose' shrimp pasta?"
"I don't care." She yawns. "I want coffee."
"I'll make you some."
We sit in silence for awhile. Well, she sits and I stand, cooking and checking on her as she sips her coffee and looks at her phone.
"Still embarrassed?"
"I am not embarrassed," she says. "I'm just not comfortable."
I cover the pan I have the shrimps and vegetables in and sit down opposite from her. I stare at her face while she stares at my breasts. "You know all those times I made you feel bad about yourself?"
She nods, finally meeting my gaze.
"Those times I called you ugly or fat or made you hate your body?"
"I do." She chuckles.
"Well, I did it to hurt you."
"I know."
"And I regret that because now I know how horrible the effect can be."
She nods with a faint smile. "It's like karma hit me when I heard my baby cry because she's called fat."
"I know." I extend my arm towards her and touch the hand cupping the cup of coffee.
"I want you to feel comfortable about your body. I want you to love it and allow me to love you and love it with you."
"It's just…doing these regular things is making them more sexual to me right now." She looks down to cover her red cheeks. "I get turned on easily…especially by you."
"So what?" I shrug. "We can fuck all day and whenever you feel like it."
"I'm just happy you stood up for Sally and even talking about that is making me feel awkward since I'm naked."
I laugh a little and then get up to resume my cooking. "We can always talk later."
I allow her to wear one of my large t-shirts while we eat. We can finally discuss our daughter. I guess I can't really push her out of her comfort zone. I wear a shirt, too. When we're done, I take it off and she takes hers off, too.
We lie down on my bed together. We make out for awhile and touch in silence.
"I want to play with your body," I tell her.
"How?"
"Like, actually play with it." She furrows her brows. "Sit up and face me."
She does as I please and I stare at the wonders she offers. I touch her clit and push a little. I move my finger in a circular motion to rub it, hearing her soft hums. I play with her labia and stroke the two lips then squeeze them. I take some of that juice and move it towards her right nipple. I pinch and then squeeze, pulling her closer by it.
"So cute."
"What is?" she asks mischievously, licking her lower lip.
"Your body," I answer. "Everything in it." I rotate her other nipple, watching as it hardens the more I move my digit against it. "These little nipples." She giggles when I pinch her stomach. "This tummy." I slap her inner thigh. "These thighs." She spreads her legs, knowing what's next. "This beautiful clit." I pinch it, earning a soft shriek. "These pink lips." I pull one and flick its twin. "And then there's this hole." I stick my finger in her and curl it, moving it quickly because I know she only needs a little bit of fondling before she cums a third time. "So adorable."
"Tee." She falls down, her head meeting the end of the mattress. I pull her closer to me by her hips and push two digits in her. "Yes."
"I love fucking this tight hole." I rub her insides, stroking every tender spot I meet. She plays with her nipples and I tap my finger a few times against her clit until she reaches her orgasm. "My God, so beautiful and delicious."
I cup her ass cheeks and lift her up so I can push my face in her cunt. "It smells like heaven." I kiss her clit and poke it with my tongue. "I wanna rub your cum all over my face.
"Oh my God," she squeals when I make out with her pussy. A fourth orgasm doesn't sound so bad.
I love her and I want her to know that. I don't feel this good with anybody but her. I can't make anyone happy like this if it isn't her. I spend the whole day loving her and fucking her and she does the same to me. If we're not on the bed, we're on the floor attempting new positions. She ties me up and rides my fake cock and I ask her to fuck my ass. Nothing stops us but time and exhaustion at the end of the day.
We clean ourselves in the shower together. She cleans my body and I clean hers. We dry ourselves, too anxious this beautiful time is over and she has to go back to her pretend life and I have to go back to my lonely night.
I hand her the clothes I've hidden and watch her as she gets dressed while I remain naked.
"Are you gonna stay like this?"
"I don't wanna be reminded you're gone."
She gives me a sorry smile which I didn't ask for but I take her pity anyway. "I'll be back. I'm always here."
"I haven't been happy since I kicked you out four years ago."
"I know." She sighs. "I wish I can rewind time."
"Take Sally and let's run away, Sara."
"Tee." She chuckles, grabbing her phone and wallet. "Be serious."
I am.
"Give my kisses to Sally." I don't tell her though. I can't take her rejection when I give her my reasons. It's crazy and it won't ever work.
"For sure, my love." She pecks my lips and then my nose. "I'll drop her off at six tomorrow."
"Great." I kiss her back. "I love you, Sara."
"I love you, too." She opens the door with her innocent smile. I blink and find myself shaking her hand as she smiles at me in disgust in her dorm room. Both of us excited we're both gay even though she's worried I might not be clean enough to fit her past hygienic standards and I'm worried she looks a lot like my mother. "I'm sorry I didn't make you squirt."
"It's fine." She winks. "You'll try next time."
I want my nostalgia to fly me to that dorm room in 2004. I really want the past to take me back to those happy days.