True to his words, Alexius started his work with Dorian almost immediately after taking him in and he was not surprised when the first cracks in Dorian's finely crafted facade started to appear, showing the person underneath.

Alexius had written letters, many letters, to every teacher, every tutor that Dorian had had during his life, wanting to know exactly where he was standing with the young man. The responses ranged from vague to extremely detailed, from encouraging to almost mocking him for "taking on an impossible task", but there was a red thread that followed each and every letter.

The tutors and teachers all agreed that Dorian was talented.

The Magister knew that there was more hiding underneath the talent and it didn't take much polishing for that to start showing.

And show it did; Dorian was easily as intelligent as he was talented, but there was more to it than that. The boy had a thirst for knowledge and under Alexius lessons, he eagerly devoured the tasks and books he was given.

Dorian had protested at the start, of course. That was what Dorian believed was expected of him now and Alexius knew how hard it was to break old habits even when you wanted to be better. He thought himself better than reading simple stories and he was especially difficult when Alexius had started his lessons by handing Dorian a large book about politics, but it had not taken much to make the boy understand why.

"The key to understanding the world, Dorian, is learning about it. Knowing magic is all nice and good, but there is more to the world than magic. You may never leave Tevinter, but if you do, would it not be nice to understand how the world works outside our borders? What you can do here may not be accepted out there and we must respect that, just like visitors to our Imperium must respect our laws. And even if you yourself never leave the Imperium, your knowledge on the politics of other countries could be enough to win you more than one favour. Knowledge, Dorian, is power, when wielded by a mind who knows how to use it."

It had been hard for Dorian at first, that much Alexius could tell. The young boy was very much used to being rude, ignoring his lessons and acting difficult, but Alexius had expected as such. Dorian had lived a specific role for a long time at the same time as he had been trying to break free from another, and it was hard to break free from the chains he had wrapped around himself.

It was painstaking, taking several weeks, but as soon as the young man got used to the way Alexius handled the lessons, he worked with vigour and determination, happily bombarding his master with questions and thoughts.

Alexius had to be honest; he had expected for Dorian to completely dismiss everything, so he was a little surprised that it had been that easy to make Dorian work, but at the same time, he understood perfectly why.

Dorian was merely tired of demands without being told why. It wasn't him being difficult; he just wanted to understand the reasoning behind it. As soon as he was given a reason he could get behind, he would accept it and do as he was told.

Truly, he did not understand at all how the tutors had failed to motivate Dorian to do his work, when all Alexius had to do was properly explain why he was to do instead of demanding him to "just to it".

To his delight, Dorian had also befriended Felix with little to no issues once he had introduced them to one another.

Felix, as it turned out, had been curious about Dorian and his upbringing, and after a few rocky starts Felix had managed to soften young Pavus with his own, warm and friendly personality.

Dorian, not knowing how to handle people his own age that were not part of the traditional Tevinter upbringing, had responded as expected at the boys' first meeting; cocky and a little obnoxious, but the air had quickly gone out of the young man once he realised that Felix did not give two licks about how big his fireball was.

Felix's special brand of simple praise and compliments without the jealousy or the grovelling had thrown Dorian off completely so when Felix had invited him to play chess, Dorian had merely nodded his head dumbly before following Felix to the library.

Because of that, it was so much easier to introduce Dorian to a new part of his education.

Physical training.

As expected, Dorian was a master when it came to wielding and handling a staff when magic was involved, but when fighting without his magic, he was absolutely rubbish.

He hadn't understood why he needed to learn this at the start.

He had magic, he could burn someone to crisps before they could even touch him, he had said. Alexius had merely chuckled before letting Dorian feel first hand how it felt like to be cut off his magic with a simple silencing spell. The look of horror on Dorian's face when he realised he couldn't cast even a simple spark was proof enough that the message had reached him.

"You may never see combat, Dorian," Alexius had said while tossing him a simple wooden staff. "But you'd want to defend yourself, using any means possible. Magic can get you far, but like any other weapon, you can be disarmed. You'd want the element of surprise on your side then, which might be enough to tip the odds in your favour. Do not underestimate a good whack to the head."

Alexius had then tossed another staff to his son, knowing that Felix was more than a match for Dorian when it came to sparring. Felix had been training for years already since he did not know magic because Alexius wanted to arm his son with any means possible in case he ever needed to defend himself.

Dorian had been sour at first when Alexius had asked for him to spar with Felix without magic and even more so when Felix had accidentally clogged him in the face, splitting his lip and making his nose bleed.

In a way, it was rather amusing to watch as the cocky Pavus-boy truly out of his element, sprawled on the dirty ground, nose dripping with blood and looking absolutely surprised that someone was superior to him while Felix had just given Dorian a toothy grin of his own, offering a hand to help him up and a friendly "Again?". For a moment, Alexius feared that Dorian would react in the same way Halward had said he had when he was a child, but after a few seconds of silence, Dorian had merely nodded his head firmly and grasped the hand, hoisting himself back up onto his feet. "Again."

Alexius was willing to bet that the first attempt at sparring was the first time Dorian had truly felt humbled by someone else, which in turn had helped him realise just how little he knew. It was probably also the first time Dorian himself had suffered physical injuries and while he had whined that the bruises and his nose hurt, he had not quit.

In fact, to his surprise, when Alexius had rose the next morning and opened the window to his bedchambers to get some fresh air, Dorian was already outside, dressed in a simple tunic, cotton-pants and leather-boots, practicing his stance and assaulting the trunk of a tree with his staff.

Things became routine after that and with Dorian quickly settling into Alexius schedule, the Magister was confident that he was on the right track.

The days were filled with lessons on politics and history, of culture, literature, physical training and, of course, lessons in magic. Dorian devoured it all with such an appetite that Alexius quickly realised that the young boy would need challenges; challenges Alexius were only too happy to provide.

Together they would go through complex magical ritual, deciphering runes and old forgotten tongues, they would explore and expand Dorian's knowledge and abilities on magic; anything that Alexius could think off in an attempt to challenge the young man.

It was a delight to see.

While Dorian spent most of his time with Alexius or studying in his room or in the grand library in Alexius' estate, Alexius made sure that Dorian also got room to breathe and to grow.

He arranged for visits, trips to different cities and even across the border to Nevarra so Dorian could get a taste of the world outside the Tevinter borders.

By the time Dorian had reached his eighteenth year, he had grown into a proper man and even Alexius could see the result of the Pavus' family's careful breeding.

Dorian Pavus was, in many aspects, a perfect example of good breeding.

Gone was the thin, lanky boy, slowly being replaced by a taller and lean man. Gone were the piercing he had taken as a boy as well as the rough hair-cut, his hair now grown out to a more even length, reaching down to his jaw.

His once soft facial features had hardened slightly, the puppy fat given way to a more sharp jaw line and intense, grey eyes under dark, nicely shaped eyebrows. He had even given up the piercing through his sternum and when Alexius had asked him about it, Dorian had merely responded that "it is uncomfortable when I sneeze".

There was still development going on; Alexius suspected that Dorian was not quite done yet, but he had to admit that there was always a delight to see when the boys suddenly stretched far above the girls, like weed amongst flowers.

Except Dorian was no weed.

With age he had also matured more and while he was still prone to quips and sassy remarks, it was only adding to the sharp mind he possessed: a gentle reminded that everything you said was carefully evaluated.

It was because of this that Alexius started allowing more freedom, letting the Dorian go to the nearby town on his own to socialise with people his own age. He especially found this to be important when Felix left the estate to attend school in Orlais, which left Dorian mostly on his own with only Alexius and Livia as company.

After all, Dorian was quickly reaching adulthood and needed to spend time outside of Alexius' estate in order to grow, and while Dorian had come back late from time to time, he had never abused or broken Alexius' trust. He had not done anything to cause a stir, nothing to cause havoc or creature rumours.

He was merely being a young man at the peak of becoming a full-fledged adult.

On purpose, Alexius also limited contact with Dorian's family. He knew letters were sent and received from time to time, and what Dorian wrote or received, he did not know.

He had, however, advised that they should not meet until he deemed Dorian ready for it. The scars that had been left on the boys mind and spirit were big and still healing, and Alexius knew that getting that pressure, those expectations back would be bad.

Dorian did not protest on this arrangement and if he missed his mother or father, he did not say it or show it.

As far as Dorian was concerned, he had all the company and support he needed.

xoxoxoxox

It was a cool autumn-evening when the currier came to Alexius' door, the only people in the house being Alexius himself, Livia and Dorian, all of them seated in the grand-living room. Dorian did not pay the currier any mind, too wrapped up in the game of chess he was playing with Livia until Alexius called his name.

"There is a letter here for you."

"For me?" Dorian carefully brushed some hair away from his face, tucking the loose strands behind his ear. "From who?"

"Felix, I believe," Alexius mused while handing Dorian the letter. "We got one as well, but I can imagine that he is writing something different to you," he added while handing Livia a letter as well, though kept the one that seemed to be from Felix.

"We can always compare," Dorian replied with a slight grin as he took the letter, carefully loosening the wax that sealed the letter.

"As long as he does not do anything wrong, then feel free to gossip to one another," Alexius mused as he opened his own letter, smiling as he read. "Oh, wonderful. The tutors seem to be impressed with his work on numbers. He is currently working on a system to better predict odds. Just a thesis still, he says," he said proudly, making Livia smile as she opened her own letter.

"Truly? That is wonderful. He always did like those sorts of challenges," she murmured while scanning over her own letter. "Does he happen to mention when he will come home?"

"Nothing specific, but he does say to give you his very best," Alexius replied before looking up as Livia sat up more properly on her seat.

"Ah, finally. The First Enchanter from the circle in Vyrantium has given me a response about taking one of his students."

"Good news, my love," Alexius asked while Dorian himself only halfway listened, too amused by reading about the troubles Felix was getting into in Orlais. Nothing serious, of course, Felix was too good of a person to do anything seriously wrong, but just small pranks here and there. The latest prank had been releasing crickets in the headmasters supposedly locked office and waited for the hilarity to start when the headmaster opened the door the next day. Apparently they were still finding crickets here and there.

"I am sure you will like that as well, yes?" Livia suddenly said to Dorian, making him look up from his letter.

"Hm?"

Livia chuckled, seemingly not minding that Dorian had not been paying attention to her. "I have a new apprentice. A boy your age who will spend a lot of time here at the estate."

"Yes?" Dorian raised an eyebrow and reached for his goblet, nipping at the sweet wine in it. "I suppose that will be interesting as long as he is able to provide some stimulating conversations."

"I am sure he will be more than able to keep up with you," Livia mused while folding the letter up carefully. "He was held in high regards in the Circle of Vyrantium."

Dorian didn't respond to that, still feeling that sting of shame when thinking about his reputation with the Tevinter circles.

"Then I am sure he will be able to keep up. Does he play chess," he asked instead while studying the chessboard more intensely.

"You will find out soon enough," Livia said while waiting for Dorian to make his move, running her finger lightly around the glass of her goblet, the friction between her skin and the slightly cool and wet surface creating a slight humming tone. "I will be expecting him shortly as soon as the First Enchanter gets my answer."

"How long will he be staying?" Alexius asked as he sat down onto the grand couch by the fireplace, still reading his own letter.

"Just part-time," Livia said as she nodded at a servant who in turn bowed and left the room.

"He will be for about a week at a time, once a month. As I understand it, he is preparing for his Harrowing and his enrolment. Should be exciting."

Dorian decided to tune them out and slowly got up from his chair, Felix's letter still in hand.

"I think I shall take my leave, Lady Livia," he said with a small, polite smile. "So you may discuss this with Master Alexius. That and I have a letter that needs to be written."

"Of course," Livia said, giving Dorian a small, but warm smile in return. "I will leave the chessboard as it is. We can resume our duel another evening."

"I will look forward to it," Dorian replied, giving a small nod to them both with his head before turning, walking out of the living-room and towards the entrance-hall.

In truth, wanting to write Felix wasn't the only thing he wanted too. It was the way Livia spoke about her new student that made Dorian's stomach tie itself into knots.

He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose and he knew that it was just himself being stupid, but he still felt like such a failure, despite being tutored personally by a Magister of Alexius' stature. Not many people could claim the same luck.

It was the fact that he had no Circle to actually attend. His name was in no book, there was no spot for him anywhere once he was done with his education. He wasn't even sure how he could take his own Harrowing when he was all but shunned by every Circle in Tevinter.

If he was to compare himself to anything, it would be like a castless dwarf. Maybe even a Tal Vashoth, or, in a way, an apostate.

A mage with no circle to call his own. What greater shame was there to an Altus mage?

Dorian hated the fact that he couldn't think of a single thing to challenge that thought.

It made it feel all the more bittersweet.

Opening the door to his room, Dorian slip inside and closed it silently behind him, waiting until he heard the familiar sound metal meeting metal as it closed shut before releasing the cold, metal handle with his hand.

For a moment he remained by the door before walking over to his small working table, placing the letter from Felix onto a book he had been studying. He would work on a response in a bit, right now he just felt the need to think.

He walked over to the small vanity by the wooden tub and sat down, carefully undoing the leather-string that kept his hair bound and putting it aside. Picking up the comb, he let the bone-teeth of it sink into the dark strands of hair before he pulled it back, repeating the motion once he reached the end of his hair.

While brushing his hair, he looked at himself, grey eyes studying the man he was now compared to what he had been. He had been called handsome, beautiful, many times already and he supposed it was true. He wasn't bad-looking, his face wasn't prone to making children cry, but he didn't like looking at himself most the time. He at least never looked into his own eyes.

Still, he could hardly complain.

He had been with Alexius for two years and the Magister had been very good to him. He had taught Dorian so very much, more than any Circle had, and he was treated as an adult, not an ignorant child, which Dorian appreciated.

He was smarter now, more knowledgeable and while he could hardly claim he knew everything there was, Dorian believed that he knew more that the average man thanks to Alexius. He knew right from wrong, he was learning to see the world in shades of grey rather than black and white.

Yet he still felt so empty inside.

He still had no idea who he truly was.

"Give it time," Alexius had once said during one of Dorian's mood-swings when he was just a little younger.

"You are still young, still learning, still experiencing. You will make many mistakes, as you should. Only by doing them will you actually learn from them. The experiences you get will help form you into the man you will become."

Slowly dragging the brush through his hair one last time, Dorian lowered it back onto the smooth wooden surface of his vanity before just looking at himself, taking in everything he could see.

He wished that he could see inside of himself rather than studying what was on the outside. The outside told him nothing when he knew there was a storm raging inside of him. A storm that was nothing like the chaos two years prior, certainly, but there was still winds in the sails and waves licking up over the small ship that was him and his life, threatening to sink him. At least he was equipped with a bucket now rather than a cup.

Sighing, Dorian got up from the small seat and wandered over to his working-table, lighting the candle there with a flick of his fingers as he sat down into the comfortable chair. He carefully gathered his papers, placing them in neat stacks before tugging free a fresh piece of parchment from under a book.

He picked up his quill and carefully dipped the cut tip into the black ink before bringing it to the parchment, hesitating for just a moment before starting to write.

"Dearest Felix,

I am glad to hear that everything is going well for you in Orlais, but I must say that life here is rather dull without you. There are only so many times I can stomach being beaten in chess by your mother before going insane.

Though I am not without news as you will simply not believe what I experienced down in the village the other day."

xoxoxoxoxox

A few days passed after Livia sent her response to the Circle before anything was heard about the new student.

In fact, Dorian had been so wrapped up in his own studies that he had completely forgotten about him before he was summoned by Alexius to meet the newcomer.

In truth, Dorian had not been sure what to expect, but he'd made himself some thoughts. Someone his own age, certainly, similar height and something resembling similar interests if he was lucky.

What he hadn't expected as he came walking down the stairs to join Alexius and Livia was to be all but floored by the young man standing in the doorway.

He was tall and his build was similar to Dorian's, at least from the little Dorian could figure out from under the simple, yet elegant robes.

His features could only be described as handsome; a well-chiselled jaw decorated with a neatly trimmed and well-kept goatee, sharp features, a straight, thin nose, dark-blue eyes, long, black hair tied back into an elegant ponytail.

He was beautiful and Dorian could already feel his heart thunder in his chest from just the sight.

This... He had never experienced something like this.

"Young master Cassian Salvitto," Livia said as the man stepped into the hallway, followed by one of Livia's servants who were carrying the man's belongings.

"Welcome to our home. It is a privilege to have you here at long last."

"The pleasure is all mine," the man replied as he bowed before Livia and Alexius with a flourish. "It is an honour and a privilege to have been granted tutorage by a Magister of your status, Lady Alexius, and to be in the presence of your famed husband as well is an honour. I am already looking forward to what I know will be a rich and educational stay."

Livia let out a soft chuckle as she gently curtsied for Cassian. "You are already gifted with kind and honeyed words, I hear. Not a bad trait. I merely hope you will be just as gifted in your studies, but according to your tutors, I am already optimistic."

"I will certainly give you my all," Cassian murmured before his eyes landed on Dorian. His lips tugged into a smile.

"And is this your son Felix then?"

Dorian stood almost at the bottom of the stairs, frozen in place before Livia and Alexius' soft chuckles brought him back to life.

"Sadly not, but while he stays in the house, he is as dear to us as our own Felix," Alexius replied, making Dorian blush ever so slightly.

"This is young master Dorian of house Pavus. He is my student, the only one I have."

"Dorian Pavus," Cassian murmured and Dorian could only pray that the shiver that went through his body from the way Cassian said his name was not visible.

"I have heard much about you," he finally said before gracing Dorian with a bow. "It seems I am surrounded by knowledge and talent wherever I turn."

"Of course you have," Dorian said, trying his best to sound confident as he finally took the last few steps down before giving Cassian a bow of his own.

"And I have heard of you as well, Cassian Salvitto. Your family is rather famed for their collection of rare, magical artefacts, I am told."

"Indeed they are," Cassian said with a small grin. "Though I can hardly claim to have added to that fame, at least not yet. But perhaps in time."

"That will go for both of us, I believe," Dorian replied with a small smirk of his own, hoping to Andraste that his mask was holding. He had never felt so shaken, never felt so out of place, so nervous as the man called Cassian made him and he had no idea what to make of it.

He didn't feel threatened or intimidated, but his heart still pounded in his chest and his blood was surging so fast through him that he thought he'd go deaf.

Maker, was this was proper attraction felt like?

Dorian really had no idea except that he felt the need to just wrap himself around the man's foot like a dog in heat. The thought alone made him feel ashamed and even dirty, and yet there was a voice in his head telling him that "would you really mind it if this man bent you over and dirtied you?".

Dorian honestly couldn't answer that voice.

"Cassian, are you hungry or would you like to retire for the night?" Livia asked Cassian, who merely smiled back.

"I would not mind a small bite, Lady Alexius," he said as he turned his attention to the woman.

"And if it would not be considered rude of me, I would like to retire after supper if I can? The trip was long and I was so excited about coming here that I hardly slept a wink."

"Of course," Livia said as she gestured for Cassian to follow her and Alexius to the dining room.

Dorian hesitated for a moment before slowly following, still trying to gather his thought at this much unexpected situation.

He had no idea what to do about except ignore it the best he could.

He didn't know much about attraction to other men as it hadn't exactly been covered by the lessons he had had, but he remembered a brief mention of it when he was still in the Order of Argent; two men together had no place in the Imperium as it would do nothing to help create more mages in Tevinter. Men who lay with other men were deviants, and such couplings were frowned upon and viewed as shameful.

At the memory of that lesson, a new sort of nausea was making itself noticed in Dorian's stomach and even as he forced up a smile as he took a seat by the grand dinner-table for supper, he could feel his appetite vanishing as realisation hit him like a slap to the face.

No wonder his old tutor had been so angry when his son had said Dorian had been the one to kiss him.

No wonder the rumours of him picking up male, elven whores had been the talk of Minrathous for weeks.

Gripping at a glass of wine, hoping that the slight tremor in his hand wasn't noticeable, Dorian tried to make sense of what it all meant for him.

Was it just a coincidence that this man, that Cassian, was affecting him so strongly?

He hoped so because if the alternative was what he thought it was..?

It would just be another thing his father would be disappointed at him for.

Dorian wasn't sure if he could live with that.

This... This was not good.

Not good at all.