HAT: Can you tell that I'm a little impatient by the major time skips? Anyway, here's where it gets... a little interesting. Hope that you enjoy!
(Edited)
Disclaimer: If I owned Gravity Falls, the Pines would've kept Schmebulock as a pet... so I don't.
A few weeks had gone by and she could officially handle herself in school... granted she was a loner that had no friends and was forced onto the track team after the track coach saw her running from raccoons that got into the girl's locker room in her jeans and gym shirt barefoot, but school wasn't as bad as it could've been and so long as she had something nice- or nice-ish since her new guardians were just as rambunctious and sarcastic as she could be and then there was also the hair in the food, but nevertheless nice-ish - to go home to she knew she could make it all the way to the next summer if she persevered.
She made that agreement that she would work in the Shack at least once every two weekends or when there's short staff, but otherwise she's left to do her schoolwork in peace and go see McGucket whenever she can-who sometimes comes to the Shack to eat- and track practice. Wendy and Soos had come to accept her and even considered her a friend- which she was grateful for since she doesn't want to say her only friends were three old men that are in her new family...
Life- so far- has settled into a rhythm... too bad for Pacifica that rhythm doesn't last long.
Currently she's out on the porch reading one of the books assigned to her to read for English, The Outsiders, and she's been entertained with it. About halfway through the book- however- she hears something nearby and glances up to find nothing.
Probably just another raccoon, Pacifica reassures herself as she settles back down to read, but her body stays tense all the same. Even if it is just a raccoon, there's no telling what could happen so it's best to stay alert so that there won't be anything too bad to deal with later.
The rustling happens again- this time right behind her- and before she can turn around she's got her head in darkness and she's shoved into what she assumes is a bag. She hears multiple voices and then she feels herself getting dragged away.
"Help! Help!" She screams in hopes of having someone hear her, but with her guardian in the middle of a tour and Stanley in the middle of avoiding the tour she doubts she'll be heard, but it's still better than not doing anything at all. "Help!"
"Quiet down, toots," a male says.
Toots?! She thinks furiously.
Several minutes later she's taken out of the bag and tied t a tree by- and she can't believe that this is real- gnomes. Her eyes glance around so that she can get a bearing on where she is, but she doesn't see anything that's familiar. This isn't even on the usual route that she goes when going and coming from the junkyard. And it's near lunch time so- hopefully- one or the other of the Stans have noticed that she was missing by now and know that she isn't with McGucket.
Where am I? And why am I here? She wonders, but doesn't say anything.
"Hello, princess!" A brown haired gnome says with a broad grin. "Or soon-to-be queen!"
She narrows her eyes at him. "Who're you?"
"I'm Jeff! We've chosen you to become our gnome queen which means you'll be marrying all one thousand of us."
Oh. Heck no, she thinks with a snarl. "I don't think so."
"Well, there's no way to fight us, you're kinda tied up, toots."
"You're gonna let me go," she says calmly, but forcefully in hopes of being able to intimidate them into letting her go. "And you're going to take me home. Do you understand?"
"No can do!"
What else can I do? She wonders. "But I'm not a good queen. I know the perfect queen for you."
"Oh? No, we've already fallen for that once, we're not falling for that again," Jeff says. "Alright, boys, get her ready for the wedding!"
"Hey! Don't touch me! Let me go!" And then she takes a deep breath and lets out the loudest and most ear piercing scream that she can muster before they stuff her mouth with a cloth- most likely a hat since one of them doesn't have one on anymore- and ties something around her head to keep it in her mouth.
"Quiet!" Hisses the brown haired gnome as he glances around to make sure no one is coming to her aid. "Get'er up and into that dress, boys."
Half an hour- more or less- and she had a wedding dress on over her clothes and the veil over her face and rope around her mouth to keep her from spitting out the hat. She was tied to a moving contraption that some of the gnomes pushed into an area where it looks like the ceremony's taking place.
I cannot get married to a gnome- er- gnomes, Pacifica thinks as she struggles to get out of her bonds futilely. Please, someone, save me.
She's in tears as the ceremony begins and she has no hope in being saved now. The gnome- Jeff- stands on top of some other gnomes with a triumphant grin on his face as the gnome conducting the ceremony speaks.
"Does anyone object? Speak now or forever hold your peace!"
"I do!" Pacifica screams around her gag, but she can't be heard- or rather- understood.
"Well, since I hear no one-"
"We object!"
Pacifica turns her head and sees both Stans standing there, Stanley wearing brass knuckles and Stanford carrying a golf club. She has never been so relieved to see either of these men until now. Along with that relief is a little anger because they didn't get her half an hour ago when she screamed the first time.
"You wanna get them while I grab Pacifica?" Stanford asks.
"Hand me that golf club," Stanley says, holding a hand out.
Stanford tosses the object to his brother and runs forward, kicking gnomes out of the way as he goes until he reaches Pacifica. "Sorry it took so long."
She narrows her eyes as he starts taking off her restraints and when she's completely free she glares at the gnomes. "I'm just glad you got here before I was married, but do me a favor next time and get them before they put me in the dress- huh?"
"Duly noted," he grunts as he kicks a gnome like a soccer ball into the forest out of sight. "Now come on before they start regrouping."
He grabs her arm and half-drags her behind him as he runs back towards his brother who acts like the gnomes are golf balls- or those little people in the mini-golf place that she vaguely remembers encountering over the summer with Mabel and Dipper. Stanford grabs his brother's collar with the other arm and Stanley bats his arm away and starts running with them.
"Guess we've got a lot to talk about when we get home, huh?" Stanley asks.
"You think?! Why do they want a gnome queen anyway?!"
"Dunno," Stanford admits. "Still trying to figure that one out."
Before she could ask anymore questions she's yanked onto his shoulder and he jumps to the left as a giant log lands between him and his brother. She looks back and sees a giant gnome made of all the gnomes.
"Give us back our queen!"
"What is that thing?!"
"The reason why we don't mess with gnomes," Stanford replies.
"I see the cart!" Stanley grunts. "I got this, 'Ford."
"Go ahead," Stanford says as all three of them get in the cart. Just as Stanley starts driving Stanford buckles Pacifica in the middle with the words, "Safety first."
"They're getting closer!" Pacifica screams when she sees the shadow covering everything around them.
Stanley laughs. "Don't worry, this isn't the first time we've dealt with gnomes... just the first time we've dealt with them in a while."
"Not to mention we dealt with them by ourselves at two different times," Stanford adds.
"That's not exactly reassuring," she snaps to her guardian and his brother.
He laughs. "Have a little faith in us, Pep!"
She'd snap about the nickname if they weren't in a life-death situation. Her heart beat is erratic and her mind is on overdrive over all the possibilities of them dying- or them dying and her bring married to one thousand gnomes- neither of which is a good ending situation for her.
"Do you have any homework?" Stanford suddenly asks out of the blue.
"What?!"
He glances at her. "Do you have any homework?"
She grits her teeth. "Out of all times to ask that question you ask now?!"
"Answer the question."
Pacifica doesn't know why he wants this answer, but she finally says, "I'm reading The Outsiders, but otherwise there's nothing else."
"Uh-huh," he nods as he throws a grenade back at the gnomes. "And how far have you gotten?"
She scrambles through her brain for the answer and follows through the plot until she reaches a dead end. "Um... to the part where- uh- where Pony meets Cherry."
"Okay, so you're not too deep in the book, but decently enough... when did you start reading it?"
"A few days ago," she admits.
"Mhm... drive faster would you? And how do you like it?"
"But the gnomes are-" she starts, seeing the gnomes closing in on them and starting to panic, but gets interrupted by Stanley.
"Doesn't matter. How do you like the book?"
She sees no point in asking questions about homework and her opinion over a book that she's reading for school when there's a giant gnome made of regular gnomes on their tail ready to kill the men and take Pacifica as their queen for what can be assumed to be the rest of eternity or- at least- until she dies. Still not a good ending for her.
She glares at him and feels the almost overwhelming urge to throttle him and keep him from asking questions that don't matter if any of them die. "How is this even relevant to our situation?!"
"Move over," Stanford growls at his brother and has the both of them switch places where Stanford's driving and Stanley's the one holding off the gnomes.
"No need to be so forceful, we're fine," Stanley replies, but throws a grenade at the gnome's feet anyway.
"Define 'fine,'" Pacifica demands.
"Irrelevant," Stanford snaps as he jerks the wheel to the left to dodge a large, tree. "How do you like the book?"
"We're about to die and you're wondering how I like a book?!"
This man's insane, she can't help, but think.
He sighs. "Please, just answer the question."
"Fine... I like it a lot."
"Why?"
"Give us back out gnome queen!" Jeff shouts.
"Over my cold, dead body!" Stanley shouts and pulls out a rocket launcher.
"Where did you even get that?!" Pacifica demands, not knowing where in town they could get that or where in the Mystery Shack they could even hide that.
"Pacifica," Stanford growls without taking his eyes off the "road."
And then Pacifica stops fighting the questions because she knows that he'll keep doing it. "It's easy to read and the characters are easy to see in real life even though it was way back in the day."
"Uh-huh- Stan hold on to the damn cart or you're gonna fall off!- and who's your favorite character?"
"Haha! Take that!" Stanley shouts with an ecstatic grin.
She shifts through the characters and finally settles on, "It's between Ponyboy and Sodapop."
"Why?"
"Ponyboy's got something to him that's honest and he's a unique character while Soda's very charismatic and almost childlike at times."
"Least favorite character?"
"Uuuuuummm..." She glances back and sees the gnomes trip.
"Ha! That's how it's done!" Stanley shouts triumphantly.
"Focus, Pep."
She snaps back to attention. "I- uh- I don't like the Socks or Soes or however you pronounce it because they do terrible things and never get in trouble for it... just like I used to..."
There's silence for a few more moments than he had previously left and then seems to snap out of whatever stupor that she was in. "I want specifics. Give me a specific character."
She takes a few moments to think. "Um... Dally, he's kind of rude and obnoxious and does bad things on purpose and doesn't care."
"I think we lost them," Stanley grunts as he plops into his seat and looks back. When he's sure he turns and looks at Pacifica to see she's kind of pale. "You okay, Pep?"
After taking a moment to assess herself she finds that she's actually feeling fine- no overly erratic heartbeat or need to make the cart go faster or the need to throttle the driver anymore. "Yeah... why?"
This question is directed at Stanford, who continues to drive back toward the Mystery Shack looking unfazed by anything that's just occurred. He doesn't seem to be effected at all by this question and he continues to drive with a near stoic expression- or rather, as she describes him- an indifferent one.
"I was using casual conversation to keep your mind occupied on something other than what could've been our destruction. It's a distraction that occupies your mind so that you're a bit calmer thinking about something that's a little trivial compared to the situation you're in."
Pacifica takes a moment to contemplate this before she nods. "Thanks... I needed it."
He smirks. "No problem, Pep."
She sighs. "Stop calling me Pep..."
Stanley runs a hand through his hair. "Guess we gotta let her in on all this stuff?"
"What stuff?" She demands.
Stanford sighs. "Well, you're gonna have to learn a bit more than just the stuff you're learning at school... you're gonna have to learn about the paranormal, too."
HAT: Yay! Some of the weird stuff begins.
Candy: Why do you make Stanley so... that?
HAT: Well, I couldn't think of anything else that would fit him personality wise, he just seems like one of those people (even if I haven't seen anything other than him pulling off his mask and the screenshots and know the voice actor).
Candy: Ooooh. Well, that's a big assumption.
HAT: I know, but there's nothing to go off of yet!
Candy: Couldn't you have waited until after the show came on to write this?
HAT: ... *looks at calendar* Well if I had just started the first chapter today, yes... but since I didn't, no. Now, would you please say it for me?
Candy: Please, review this story.
HAT: Also- since I can't help myself and I love making song references- it tastes like candy!~
Candy: Who sings that song?
HAT: Cameo, before your time... and mine, but he and all of Motown was childhood so... yeah.
*fades to black*