HAT: Here's another chapter in celebration for Gravity Falls finally coming back on (the day after). Soos?
Soos: Enjoy yourselves, dudes!
Disclaimer: If I owned Gravity Falls we wouldn't have waited this long for the new episode of Gravity Falls... okay, maybe I might've, but the point is I don't own it, just the plot and OCs.
"Pacifica?" Dipper asks while Mabel- like Pacifica should have expected- runs over and glomps the girl.
"G-get off!" Pacifica grunts while pushing the brunette girl away from herself, uncomfortable with hugs- she didn't really give or receive them other than McGucket and even then they don't hug that often.
Wait, did I grunt just then? Pacifica thinks. She's gotten way too used to living with a bunch of guys- maybe it is a good thing Mabel is here? Wendy's femininity can help her only so much and she was a tomboy living with four males to begin with.
Mabel pouts. "I just wanted to say hi and welcome to the family. Grunkle Stan told us that he adopted you- but he didn't tell us why."
Pacifica rolls her eyes and walks toward the back. "I'm gonna get Uncle Stan."
"He's in the kitchen," Mabel informs.
The blond rushes to the kitchen to see if it's true and the stoic man was finally out of his dungeon, but is sadly disappointed when she sees Stanley. That disappointment is quickly lessened when she sees the amount of food he's making after the realization of how hungry she is.
"That's not the Stan I was talking about," Pacifica informs as she walks from the kitchen and goes toward the back to get the other Stan. She knocks on his door until she gets a reply and walks in to see him still doing research. "Uncle Stan, Dipper and Mabel are here."
He glances up at her. "Really? I thought they weren't scheduled to come for a couple of more weeks."
She walks closer to him only to stop at the body odor. "When's the last time you took a bath?!"
"Um..."
She frowns and grabs his arm. "You're gonna stop for a little while, get cleaned up, and sit down and eat dinner- got that?"
"My, aren't we a bit snappy today?" Stanford murmurs.
(A/N: I was watching a lot of DBZ Abridged... Yeah, that might effect my writing just a little)
Pacifica sighs and pushes him against his back as hard as she can towards the entrance of the room, but he's only shifted slightly. "Why are you so heavy?!"
He rolls his eyes. "Well, I'm a grown man that's of a healthy weight, that could be something."
Stanley walks toward the door and leaves Pacifica to fall to the floor and- sadly- she comes face first to his boxers. She makes a face and stands up to shiver at the close call before she glares up at her uncle as he throws his lab coat into a pile of what can be assumed to be dirty clothes that's located in the corner.
You'd think he'd be better about washing his clothes, Pacifica thinks for a moment. "Do you ever wash your clothes?"
"When I run out," he replies.
She groans and walks out of his room while looking at her wrist watch. "Shower and if you're not grabbing a plate of food in twenty minutes while looking and smelling clean, I'm taking all of your research and burning it."
Brown eyes narrow at her and there's a quiet growl. "You wouldn't?"
She narrows her own icy blue eyes at him. "Try me."
"You wouldn't burn all the research I did on that boy that attacked you- you're just as curious as me!" He snaps.
Pacifica glances at her watch. "Nineteen minutes. And you can bet I'll get there first."
Before she started on track she was definitely fast- being chased by raccoons was really good for workouts- but he has longer limbs and kind of already knew how to exert himself to get things he wants like the food off of the table (one other reason why she definitely doesn't care about how she eats anymore) and he also took a lot of the seats she wanted- another reason why she's turned into a tomboy (though hygiene is still a high priority along with making her hair presentable) so her plan involved being in his room in fifteen minutes and take the research until after he eats all of his dinner.
"Fine," he grunts and leaves his room after her.
"Thank you," she says and hurries towards the kitchen only to see a shirtless Stanley.
"Damn it, 'Lee, put a shirt on!" Stanford shouts while he walks toward the bathroom with a towel thrown over his shoulder.
It's not like she isn't used to seeing either of them without their shirt- morning routines tend to bump into one another- but the first few times were more than a shock and she ended up going to school with the images popping up in her mind at the worst of times- definitely not of her own free will. After about two months of this she started to not even bat an eye at either man with their shirt off. It was just another part of life- not a pleasant one, but an expected one.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Stanley yells, but grabs his wife beater to put on.
Pacifica notices the sweat stains on it and makes a face. "Ewww, a clean one!"
"Then wait," the man snaps.
How have I survived living with these two? Pacifica wonders at the realization that she's not effected at all about shirtless old men and she's started to grunt. Maybe it's a good thing Mabel's here now. She's a whole lot more feminine and she has hygiene and can help me wash clothes- or better yet get Stans to wash their own shit.
Don' curse, P'cifica, that's not ladylike!
The what?! Pacifica thinks when she hears McGucket's voice in her head.
I created me a telep'thy device!
Oh... get out of my head, Pacifica thinks.
"Why're you just standing there with a confused look?" Stanford asks before he freezes and then facepalms. "You have McGucket in your head, too, don't you?"
"Yep," Pacifica groans.
"Ah! Get outta my head!" Dipper cries from the living room while McGucket cackles.
Stanford narrows his eyes. "Okay, we need to destroy that device before he-"
"'Ford! How embarrassin'!" McGucket cackles. "Blackmail!"
Pacifica blinks and then glances at the usually stoic man whose face is now pale and panicked. "Whaaaat's he talking about?"
"Nothing! He's talking about nothing," Stanford insists as he rushes into the living room with light blush on his cheeks. "Gimme that!"
"This is not gonna end well," Stanley murmurs as he walks beside Pacifica to see what damage may happen.
When they enter they find Stanley, Dipper, and Mabel all chasing McGucket who has what looks to be a regular helmet on his head (over his hat since she can see part of it sticking out in the back). McGucket runs around like a raccoon- and the people of Gravity Falls would know that with the infestation- and this makes it harder for them to catch him (the raccoons in Gravity Falls have learned more than enough evasive maneuvers (some thanks to McGucket)) even Stanford who has caught more than his fair share of raccoons since she's been here.
"'Ford, did ya really take ba-"
"Gimme that!" Stanford shouts in rage.
Don't think anything, do not think anything, Pacifica thinks over and over as she watches everyone else try to catch McGucket with mild amusement.
You'll think something at some point! McGucket cackles in her head while he continues to cackle at the others inability to catch him.
Shut up!
I already found out about yer lil' crush on-
"Alright, gimme that helmet!" Pacifica shrieks as she flies forward with her hands outstretched to try and grab him.
"Never!" He cries.
For the next twenty minutes they chase him around the living room only to have him run right out the door and- most likely- towards the city. With all the new information- or rather- blackmail he has on them they feel they have no choice, but to get the helmet and do something to get him to forget all the information- Stanley's suggestion was knocking him out and making him believe it was a dream which became the unanimous choice.
But first thing's first. They need to eat.
"Pass the salt," Stanley grunts.
"Like you need it," Pacifica scoffs as she picks up the salt and places it far away from either man.
Stanford narrows his eyes. "Our health is our business."
Pacifica refuses to answer and continues to eat her food in silence while trying to ignore Dipper's staring the entire meal. She'll deal with him later because food and destroying that helmet were kind of important at the moment.
Stanford reaches over for the salt anyway and Pacifica quickly picks it up and puts it on the chair between her legs- thankfully she's wearing jeans- and eats while trying to look as innocent as possible. He growls and then goes back to eating his food in defeat.
"Nice one," Mabel whispers.
Pacifica doesn't respond aloud, still not quite comfortable with the girl, but more comfortable with her than her brother. Instead she gives a small nod and then stuffs her mouth full of food.
After the food is finished and leftovers are put away they huddle for their plan to get McGucket and the helmet.
"Alright, we'll get into two groups and go out to find him," Stanley says.
Stanley nods. "I'll take- uh- Dipper and Mabel while you take Pacifica?"
"Okay, then, let's go," Dipper says, his brown eyes on fire with determination.
And then the five separated to catch McGucket and destroy his helmet.
HAT: I don't care if Stanford is Stanley and Stanley is Stanford- I'm not going back and changing everything (she said and ended up doing it anyway)! This story is going to stay false in who is who in the Stan department from beginning to end... And... OHMYGOSH THATWASSUCHAGOODEPISODEANDIJUSTKNEWTHATSTANFORD(the real one)WASABUTT (even if it was just a little)! *takes a deep breath*
McGucket: Ya done havin' yer ment'l breakdown?
HAT: *pauses and then nods* Yeah, I think I am (for now).
McGucket: Ya sure?
HAT: *shakes head while trying not to spasm with excitement*
McGucket: Let it out.
HAT: *gives incredulous look* You sure?
McGucket: *takes a few steps back* Um... outside... with 'Ford and 'Lee and them.
HAT: Okay. *walks out jittery* Can't wait for the next one...
McGucket: Review, y'all!
*high-pitched scream of both excitement and rage*
Stans: I didn't do it!
(HAT: ... I don't know if I'm happy, disappointed, sad, or what, I just know that the next episode is not coming soon enough.)