HAT: Oh, my goodness... I just realized how long this story is gonna be after rewriting not even the entire plot. I didn't even mean for Dan to be anything more than a bully that wouldn't be used again unless he's a background character. Now I gotta take him int account... this would've been a whole lot shorter if I hadn't had done that... enjoy, I suppose.
Disclaimer: Despite wishing, I don't own Gravity Falls or it's characters... but on the bright side, one of the future episodes comes out on my birthday! YAY! Thank you Alex Hirsch for the fantastic birthday present!
Three hours. That's how long they've been searching for McGucket around the entire town of Gravity Falls. Every time they even got close to McGucket he would scurry off with a maniacal cackle and leave them running after him until he manages to lose them using the skills he learned from the raccoons. That stupid helmet gave him the advantage and not only that, but since it was night, their thoughts were pretty much the only ones that were around to hear so that made it that much more difficult to catch the old man.
"We need a better plan than rushing him," Stanford mutters through pants after the last chase.
"Yeah- if only we could make our minds go blank or something," Pacifica mutters with her arm crossed over her chest with one hand covering her nose as he's still yet to take a shower and glaring at the concrete under her feet.
Stanford snaps his fingers. "I got it! Think like an animal!"
Pacifica tilts her head in confusion. "Huh?"
"See, McGucket can distinguish our thoughts from everything else's because we're hellbent on getting that helmet. If we were to think like an animal- probably the only thing that he won't run from- then we can get close enough to get him."
The blond nods. "Yeah, but..."
"What?"
"How do animals think?"
He blanches and then shrugs. "I don't know... how to get food?"
Pacifica sighs. "Great... Why don't we come up with something else? Do we know how reading people's thoughts work? Can he only read one at a time and does sound have an effect on what he pays attention to? Like talking?"
"That's a good question. We'll try something like that..." Stanford mutters as he scratches his chin in thought. "You could run around screaming in your head and I'll try and think like some insignificant tourist and sneak up on him, but we absolutely can't break our trains of thought. You can't think about me or this plan and I can't think about him or anything that could link me to you or myself."
"Basically it has to be flawless."
"Precisely. We cannot let him find out anything else for blackmail," he grumbles while looking around for said old man.
"What does he have on you?"
"What does he have on you?"
"... Touché."
"Let's go," he sighs.
It takes a good twenty minutes of merely roaming around to hear McGucket's cackling laughter. At the sound they share a glance and nod. This had to be absolutely flawless and Pacifica would rather lose Sammy than have her crush be known. Ever.
Okay, Pacifica thinks before she runs the opposite direction and goes a few blocks- in hopes that distance is a factor in thoughts. WHERE'S MCGUCKET?! I swear I heard him laughing- SO WHERE IS HE?! I promise WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM! HE'S GONNA WISH THAT HE NEVER BUILT THAT HELMET!
The cackling stops immediately after that thought, but she- instead of thinking about how this might work- thinks, It stopped- he must be close by! MCGUCKET I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! GET OVER HERE OR I'LL TAKE YOUR RACCOON WIFE AND LOCK HER IN A CAGE!
"No! Not ma raccoon wife!"
"Ha! So you are nearby!" Pacifica shouts and starts jogging towards where McGucket is, making sure she takes great attention in searching for him through the streets where she's walking. COME HERE MCGUCKET! I WANT THAT HELMET!
"GAH! I've got a Stan on my back!"
Finally, Pacifica thinks and rushes towards where the two older men are located. When she gets there she finds Stanford bear hugging McGucket from behind and McGucket trying his best to get away. When she gets closer she comes to realize why he's trying so hard. His scent- which she had thought could not get any worse- had gotten stronger and much worse than it had been previously when they had talked. When she thinks about it, maybe it was Stanford's scent that tipped McGucket off a few times.
She takes a few steps back and covers her nose and mouth with her shirt. "You need a shower when we get home."
"I'm dyin'! Git this stinky thangah sweat away from me!" McGucket pleads.
"Sorry, McGucket, but we gotta get that helmet from you first," Pacifica replies as she walks forward with her hand pressed firmly against her face with her shirt to block the smell of Stanford's sweat.
"Wait!" McGucket pleads, his accent lessening drastically and blue eyes locked on something across the street.
Pacifica turns on her heel and looks to find unnaturally bright blue eyes looking at her with a sadistic grin underneath them. Her heart pounds with fear and adrenaline while her entire body screams at her to run away from the threat.
"What are you?" She whispers.
He turns and walks away with a confident smirk and walks away.
Pacifica trembles with fear when he's out of sight and then shakes herself and clenches her fists. No, you're not afraid. You're not afraid.
"It's okay to be scared P'cifica," McGucket assures.
She says nothing and tries to blank her thoughts, but the images of Dan taint her mind. She was so helpless back then and now she's trained herself to be better than that- she should be better than that and not been scared anymore.
"McGucket, what'd you hear from him?" Stanford asks with all seriousness.
"Expers bestia," McGucket whispers.
"What's that mean?" Pacifica demands.
"It's Latin... it means 'dark wanderer,'" Stanford answers with a serious look on his face.
HAT: Yeah, kind of a short chapter, but give me a break. This is gonna take a while.
Waddles: Oink!
HAT: Awww, you're so cute... for a pig. I mean, seriously, these things will eat anything and run around in their own filth... pretty nasty animals (which is why I don't eat pig's feet, they walk around in some nasty stuff)... but bacon... maaan, bacon...
Mabel: I thought I told you not to talk about bacon in front of Waddles!
HAT: But... it's delicious...
Mabel: *picks up Waddles and walks out*
HAT: Wait! Waddles has to do the thing!
Mabel: *sighs* Fine. *sets Waddles down*
Waddles: *oinks and presses a button that has a large banner that says 'please review' fall from the ceiling*
HAT: Thank you! Bye Waddles, I promise, I'll eat steak tonight.
Waddles: *oinks merrily and is carried away by Mabel*
HAT: *eats a slice of bacon* What? It's technically morning right now. I've got all day to eat bacon.