HAT: It took a while, but I finally did it! Enjoy!

(Edited)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls or it's characters because if I did nyan cat would make one random appearance for no reason. I just own the plot and OCs.

Third day of Christmas Break (not including Saturday an Sunday after the last day of school)- two days after her birthday- and Pacifica should have expected both that her black eye and other bruises would take some time to heal because they are just starting to yellow and that the craziness of Gravity Falls wasn't tied to the warmer side of the spectrum of weather.

Pacifica wakes up because of noise coming from the kitchen- she fell asleep on the couch the previous night after a movie marathon- and so she assumes that it is Stanford making breakfast- despite his protests last night that they can make cereal.

"I thought you said you weren't making breakfast," Pacifica says as she enters the kitchen and freezes when she sees a gnome standing on the kitchen counter while trying to reach the cereal on top of the refrigerator. "Are you planning on kidnapping me again?"

"Shmebulock!" The gnome cries, shaking his head and putting his hands behind his back guiltily.

Pacifica sighs and grabs the step stool and grabs the cereal. "You could've just asked... why aren't you hibernating with the other gnomes?"

"Shmebulock," he replies.

"Right... that's all you can say... Mind if I call you Shmeb? Schmebulock's kinda long."

He shakes his head and gestures for her to do so. "Shmebulock."

She pours him a bel of dry cereal and places it on the table and pours herself a bowl of cereal and then pours milk in it. When she turns around with her bowl and spoon at hand she notices him eating like an animal and kicks the table and makes him cry out in alarm and grip the table's edge so he won't fall off.

"If you're not gonna eat with your hands, get off the table and eat on the floor." He whines and climbs down to the floor and she sighs and places the bowl on the floor and then proceeds to eat her own. After a few moments she asks, "So, I'm guessing Jeff's the one that made you kidnap me?"

"Shmebulock!" He exclaims with a nod and his mouth full.

It doesn't faze her, but she isn't a fan of people talking with their mouth full. "Oh, okay... want some more cereal?"

"Shmebulock!"

She gets them both a second bowl of cereal and the two of them eat in peaceful silence that is broken several minutes later when the rest of her family walks in. She ignores them for a moment before realizing that they aren't going to move until she addresses the fact that there is a gnome eating on the floor beside her.

"Hey guys," she says plainly.

"Um... why is there a gnome in the kitchen?" Dipper asks.

"Yeah, didn't they kidnap you like they did me?" Mabel asks.

"They did, but this one's nicer than the rest of them. Jeff's just a big mouthed bully," Pacifica informs while bending over and petting the gnome. "Isn't he, Shmeb?"

"You gave him a nickname?" Stanford asks before frowning. "Jr. or Sr.?"

"Jr.," Shmebulock replies.

"Why're you feeding him?" Stanley demands.

"He was gonna get some whether I did or not," she shrugs and then drinks the milk left in the bowl. "I think we should keep him."

The Stans share a look before turning back to her. "I dunno..."

"He is kinda adorable... y'know, when he's not trying to kill us with a bunch of other gnomes," Mabel admits.

Dipper makes a face. "Really? We're thinking about keeping a pet gnome?!"

"They're more animalistic than one would think," Stanley informs. "Better senses, a denser bone structure, things of that nature. Very loyal, too."

Stanley sighs. "If I let you keep the dumb gnome you kids've gotta take care of him! That means feeding him, taking him out for walks, and potty training him... Dipper you're in charge of that."

"Ugh! What?! Why me?"

"Because you're the only kid that can teach him how to go to the bathroom properly," Stanley grunts.

I'm so glad I'm a girl, Pacifica thinks.

"He's different than Waddles so that means different rules so you don't get to cuddle with him at night, he sleeps in the living room," Stanford adds and then glances at Mabel in her over-sized shirt as if trying to find something else and then his eyes harden. "No more skirts or dresses or nightgowns unless you wear shorts underneath them."

"And you have to let me use him every now and then in the tours," Stanley adds and then looks down at the gnome while he finishes eating. "And if he wants to leave, you let him. Understand?"

"Yes, sirs!" Mabel shouts excitedly while Pacifica nods.

(A/N: It wasn't until I started thinking about it that I cam to the realization that there have to be major differences between gnome-pets and other pets, thus all the ground rules)

While Pacifica cleans her dishes and the gnomes' Mabel hugs him and tells him of all the makeovers that she plans on giving him and Pacifica can't help, but notice him pale at each word that she says. She leaves it alone, finding it to be too troublesome.

"Did we even ask him if he wanted to be a pet?" Dipper mentions.

Oh, yeah, we gotta be nice, Pacifica thinks and then turns to the gnome. "Shmeb."

He looks up at her. "Shmebulock?"

"Do you want to stay here or go back to the gnomes?" He seems to really think about this because he sends a fearful glance towards Mabel. He doesn't seem to be a fan of makeovers like Waddles so there is that to contemplate. "She doesn't give makeovers all the time."

"Shmebulock!" He nods.

"Sweet, looks like we've got a pet gnome!" Mabel cheers.

Pacifica smiles lightly at that. She's never had a regular pet before- sure there was the dog, but he was just for show- so this will be a new experience. And there's also Waddles- who the twins had taken with them back to Piedmont- that she's sure that she's also going to have to help take care of. She's fine with that, so long as she doesn't have to give either a bath- she should hope that Shmebulock knows how to clean himself.

"Papa Pines-"

"I told you to stop calling me that."

She blatantly ignores this statement and- instead- says, "Are we gonna box today?"

"No, you're free today."

A full day free to do absolutely nothing but sleep like she'd wanted to in the first place. "Okay."

With that she goes back up to the attic and curls up in her bed.

What is with this family and not letting me sleep? She thinks when she glances at the clock and finds that she's only slept two hours.

"Pacifica, we're going monster hunting, wanna come?" Mabel asks.

The blond sits up and glares at her new cousin. "Listen, Mabel, I study about monsters so that I can avoid them- I don't particularly want to go looking for them- especially after my experiences with them."

Mabel pouts. "Okay. Have a nice nap."

"Happy monster hunting," Pacifica grunts back- Damn you Stans!- and then lies back down.

Apparently not even God wants her to sleep because after half an hour she wakes up for no reason. She sighs and gives up on trying to sleep for an entire day and puts on a pair of gray sweatpants and a green thermal shirt. Might as well go for a run around the nearby woods for a little while. It'll wake her up and eventually cause for her to be exhausted when she gets to around bedtime.

She walks downstairs and looks around for signs of life, but other than Shmebulock and Waddles she can't find anyone there. She listens to the bathroom and hears nothing and then goes to her uncle's room and knocks on the door.

"Who is it?"

"The only niece you have that's blond!" She calls and then kicks the door. "You're seriously back in there?!"

"I have to find out more about the expers bestia," he calls back.

"If we're gonna talk, could I at least be in there so we can talk face to face?"

"Why do you want to talk face to face?"

Damn it! "Because it's awkward to talk through a door."

"And why would that be."

Thinkthinkthink! After a few moments she gets something that she prays will work. "Because society made it rude to not talk face to face when two people are in the same place with each other."

After a moment of silence he says, "Come in." She opens the door and finds him leaning back in his chair and looking at her with his usual blank expression, but she can see that his eyebrows are furrowed slightly in annoyance. "Alright, Pep, what is it?"

"What happened to being outside of this damned room and not killing yourself over research- eh?" The blond demands.

The gray haired man sighs, not bothering to hide his annoyance this time. "I ate breakfast- isn't that enough?"

"No, because then you're gonna skip lunch and dinner and breakfast tomorrow and then we'll have to start that shitty cycle all over again. I'm tired of doing that."

Obviously he doesn't care about her language- after all, he doesn't care about watching his language around her- or anyone for that matter.

"Then stop!" He shouts while raising his shoulders and hands slightly for emphasis. "It's the logical thing to do."

She pinches the bridge of her nose- much like Stanford would- and sighs. "That's not how this works! That's now how any of this works at all!"

He leans back in his seat. "Then explain... defend your case."

You mother- "You're my family now. I don't want to see you die because you can't take care of yourself."

"And why don't you think I can take care of myself."

"You don't shower, you don't eat, you don't drink, you just sit in here and do research all day long! We have to force you to eat anything and even then you only eat so much. We leave you food and you just leave it sitting there until the next day! Papa Stan spent thirty years of his life to get you back- are you really going to just die because you're too busy to eat doing research on something that doesn't even matter anymore."

"It does matter!"

"Why?"

"Because you got hurt because I didn't know anything about it!"

Pacifica stops for a moment to process this, but despite herself she still says, "What?"

His shoulders sag in defeat and he glowers at the floor. "If I'd known about his kind- about him- I would've been able to tell you the signs and you would've avoided him or been able to defend yourself against him and you wouldn't've gotten hurt."

She closes her eyes and breathes a sigh, So that's what this is about.

She opens her- currently- azure eyes and looks at him. "Listen, Uncle Stan... it's not your fault. It probably would've happened whether you knew about him or not... you can't change the past," she says gently.

"But I can change the future... I can make sure it never happens again," he replies.

"You can't guarantee the future when you're doing stuff to make you die. It's not like I'm gonna run into him that often. It may be a small town, but we don't always see everyone all the time."

"I... suppose you're right," he replies slowly, almost as if it hurt to say it.

"183-23." Sad- or rather- pathetic on her part, but she's still proud of every point she's ever gotten because- as it can be seen- she's lost a whole lot more than she's won. Instead of relishing in her victory- like she had the first time- she stuffs her hands in her pockets. "I'm gonna take a run around the Shack for a while."

"Be careful," he grumbles and then throws some black cloth at her. "Wear that, you could catch a cold."

She unravels it and finds it to be a worn black beanie. "Okay. See you at lunch or dinner."

He grunts and turns back to his research.

Pacifica takes this as a victory and puts the beanie on her head and then walks down the hall to leave the building and go for a run. After pulling on her boots- there wasn't any snow on the ground like there normally would be since- after a week- it melted into puddles, but it's just in case she runs into those puddles so her feet won't get soaked immediately- she opens the door and as soon as she walks from out of the threshold she runs into her favorite brown-haired cousin, Dipper. Of. Course.

"Watch where you're going," Pacifica snaps out of habit- living with the Stans did not help her with not being rude to people- especially that live in the house.

"I was, you didn't bother to look out the window," Dipper snaps before looking at her attire. "What're you gonna do?"

"Go for a run, if you must know," she replies as she adjusts her beanie so that she's sure that it's secure before she begins stretching.

"Why?"

"Because unlike you I want to be able to outrun half the crap that goes on in this town," she replies a bit snarkier than she intended. "Where's your other half?"

"I doubt that you care."

Pacifica's eyes turn a shade darker. "Don't make assumptions."

"She's in the gift shop," he answers after a moment.

With a nod she starts down the stairs of the porch. "I don't know who died and made you so bitter, but this isn't the Dipper I remember from the party."

"You don't know anything about me!" He shouts with his fists clenched and anger in his coffee-colored eyes. "You probably never had any problems before you left that nice mansion."

She pauses and glares back at him with steel blue eyes. "You don't know me, either."

And with that she starts her jog. Now she wishes that Travis where there so she could use him as a punching bag- he made a nice one on her birthday even if he beat her. She settles for running until she forgets why she's irritated.

Eventually everything ebbs away into nothingness and she knows that this is the point when she should start heading back. She has no idea how much time has passed, but she could safely say that it's probable been half an hour. She goes back to the Shack and figures that she'll have a small snack to reward herself for exercising- whoever said that she liked to do this? She had to give herself some incentive just like quite a few others.

Not even halfway through her apple and Pacifica's interrupted by a familiar sight- Mabel Pines.

"What is it?"

"Dipper's missing and I need you to help me find him!" Mabel whispers loudly.

And immediately her appetite was spoiled.

HAT: Welp... that happened.

Toby: Why aren't I in it?

HAT: You're in it... briefly... and now.

Toby: I demand to be recognized!

HAT: *gapes* What?

Toby: I won't say it if you don't write a story about me.

HAT: *facepalms* Toby, you forgot about the contract you signed.

Toby: Oh, darn it!

HAT: *sighs* I'll think about it... really... really hard to see if I could bring myself to make one about you.

Toby: Thank you! *turns to camera* Review, everyone!

HAT: Toby, you're so awkward.

Toby: *sulks* I know...

HAT: *sighs guiltily* Let's go get some ice cream.

Toby: With sprinkles?

HAT: *rolls eyes good-naturedly* With sprinkles.

Toby: YAY!