Summary: Dropping info bombs on family
A/N: I had planned to update yesterday, but I got reeeeaaaally sick with body aches and chills and thought Miss Rona was knocking at my door. But today I feel 100% fine, so...false alarm?
Anyway, dropping this chapter here even though I might come back and clean it up after I finish the last episode of Tiger King. Good thing you guys are used to my typos already.
CHAPTER NINE: Letting The Days Go By
THIRTEEN WEEKS — LEMON
Rey came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, her hair piled high into a bun on top of her head. The stray wispy strands that couldn't make the climb had gotten soaked and now clung to her neck in dark brown tendrils. Even though he'd just heard her throwing up half an hour before, Ben's body stirred with hunger at the sight of her. He wanted to run over, grab her, and lick every droplet of water still beaded on her shoulders.
He didn't.
Instead he made himself return his attention to his closet and the shirt he'd decided to wear.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Better," she replied, rather cheerfully for someone who had been violently ill before getting in the shower. But then, Ben had watched her adapt to her new normal with surprising resilience, once she got past that initial period of terror. He didn't know how she did it, coolly decided when to go empty her stomach, as if it were as simple a thing as going to take care of a runny nose. It wasn't that simple, of course. He saw the tears that pricked the corners of her eyes when she came out, the way her hands shook after, but she always bounced back quickly. She was rarely ever again caught off guard by it like she was at Poe's party.
Ben couldn't relate. It made him feel helpless to watch her go through it. Helpless, and a little in awe. He didn't get sick very often, but when he did it laid him out completely. He didn't know how she kept functioning every day, except that she must have some deep reservoir of strength inside her to carry her through it.
He slid his arms through the sleeves of his shirt and started in on the buttons.
"I'm gonna work from here today, if that's okay with you," she said, padding over to the dresser.
"Obviously it's okay," he said warmly, unable to disguise the note of pleasure that crept into his reply.
He loved it when she stayed at his house during the day. As much as he loved it when she stayed here during the night. Even if he wasn't here, it did something to him to know that she was curled up among his things, leaving traces of herself around his domaine.
She'd started doing that over the last couple weeks. The first time she said it was because her neighbor smoked pot, and sometimes the skunky scent made her lose her lunch. The second time she said that it was embarrassing to be at the library or a coffee shop and have to keep running to the bathroom as often as she had to go these days. The third time, she didn't even offer an excuse, just asked if she could stay.
Ben took it as a good sign. She felt safe and comfortable in his space. And little by little, he was working on making it their space.
Like convincing her to leave a modest collection of her clothes here. It had been one of his favorite victories lately. She began to spend more nights at his condo than she did at her own apartment, and even though they didn't acknowledge this new arrangement, he'd managed to suggest that she keep an extra stash of things here just in case. It didn't even matter that he had no idea what that case would be, she accepted the idea and brought some of her stuff. And, he noticed, not just some of her stuff, but her favorite stuff. His dresser had become home to her most comfortable shirts and pants, sweaters and leggings. Everything soft and lovely that she liked best.
He also took that as a very good sign.
"You think Luke's good mood is going to hold out?" she asked conversationally as she rifled through those things now, trying to decide what she wanted.
Ben walked over beside her, pulling open a drawer a couple above her to remove a pair of neatly bundled socks. The fresh, clean scent of her shampoo and the proximity of her damp skin made his heart skip eagerly, so he didn't linger, fleeing instead to the safety of his bed. "I think so...but honestly, who knows with him."
Luke had been in an absolutely great mood since they nailed their presentation and landed that big client a month ago. He'd even been downright pleasant to Ben at times, which was unsettling. Ben didn't really know how to conduct himself without his uncle griping at him over something or other. He told Gwen that work had become a weird hellscape. She said he was an idiot and asked him to please not mess it up because for once everyone was having a good time.
Thinking about Luke reminded him of that thing he'd been needing to talk to Rey about. An invitation from his mother he didn't think he should turn down this time.
"Hey," he said carefully. "I think we should talk about this weekend."
She gave him a wary look. "What have they all planned now?"
"No," he chuckled. "Not them. At least, I haven't heard anything."
"Good," she sighed. "I need a break."
Ben couldn't agree more. The friends were positively out of their minds with glee about Rey's situation and for some reason that translated to an increased need to get together all the time now. Their enthusiasm was appreciated, mostly, but they were overwhelming. Paige would be home from her honeymoon soon, and Ben anticipated that they'd try to arrange some kind of shindig so they could hear all about Rio. He didn't care to go, but knew Rey probably would want to.
"This isn't related to any of them. It's about my family," he said after a minute.
She went very still, her hands clutching a soft pale green sweater. Rey gave him an uncertain glance over her shoulder.
"Are you okay?" he asked wryly.
"You want to tell them."
"I do." He should have already done so, two weeks ago after Paige's wedding. He should have done it three weeks ago before Paige's wedding. But Ben was pretty good at shelving mental boxes and forgetting about them.
She sucked in a deep breath. "Okay."
"Really? You're alright with that?"
"It's not fair that they don't know and all our silly friends do," she acknowledged, but nibbled her bottom lip uneasily anyway. "You need to. I know you do. I'm just nervous."
"I am a little too." It was pretty big news to drop on them. Unexpected news, to say the least. "But if I'm ever going to convince my mother to stop introducing me to women, I should probably give her a concrete reason why a new relationship is a little complicated right now."
He caught the way her lips tightened, a subtle frown pulling at the corners, just before she turned away, her back to him now. "Did she bring another one around?"
"Yesterday."
"Did you like her?"
"I wasn't interested."
Her voice was way too casual, almost forced, when she said, "You can, you know. Go out with them. If you are interested."
"I don't want to go out with them, Rey," he said mildly.
"I'm sure one, at least, would be understanding of the situation."
"I don't care."
She stole a tiny glance his direction, which Ben caught because he was watching her with no small degree of amusement. She couldn't be this oblivious. He'd been getting bolder in his assertions recently. The more she ceded to him, the more she drew in, closer and deeper into his daily routine, the more hints he kept dropping.
Her fatigue and nausea had curbed her libido significantly, so they hadn't been intimate very often since she'd started staying over. That provided Ben a good opportunity to drop carefully calculated remarks here and there, little comments that could almost pass beneath her notice, milder forms of the kinds of possessive things he usually babbled in bed. She couldn't mistake these as nonsense born in the heat of the moment, because there was very little heat and precious few moments.
She had to be catching on, and she hadn't gone running for the hills yet, so Ben's confidence that they could make something real of this after all was swelling daily.
"So...you want to tell your family this weekend," she prompted, changing the subject.
"I want us to tell them this weekend. Come with me."
This funny little noise escaped her. Like a broken whimper. "Are you sure you can't just tell them without me?"
"Why would I want to do that?" A smirk twitched over his lips. "Like it or not, you're in this. You're going to have to face them sometime. And trust me, they're too polite to flay me alive if you're present."
"I wouldn't want you to be flayed," she said, finally laughing. "I have a vested interest in keeping you alive."
"Oh, you do?"
"I'm not going to raise this baby alone." She flashed him a wicked grin. "And you make way more money than I do, so I have financial motivation too."
Ben wondered if he would ever become immune to the deeply pleasant ache in his belly that bloomed whenever she referred to their baby. He smiled. "Then for the sake of your unborn, please come with me to break the news to my parents."
Rey flitted over to the bed and laid out the clothes she'd picked out at last. She let the towel puddle around her feet. "Alright, alright. I'll come."
Ben paused in the precise ritual of tying his tie, unable to stop his gaze from raking over her naked form greedily. He shouldn't, he knew he shouldn't, but some deep animal nature inside him loved what was happening to her. Loved that it was because of him that was happening. Her hips were a little wider, her breasts were a little fuller, and though her stomach was still mostly flat, he could see a faint swell there. She could wear her own pants still, but she frequently reported that they were becoming uncomfortably tight, and sometimes, if she wore jeans, she looped a hairband through the button hole and over the button to give herself some stretch.
According to the app which Ben checked religiously, savoring that moment every Tuesday when it updated to report the upcoming week's development, the fetus was know about the size of a lemon. It gave him such a primal sense of pride that his offspring was growing so big. A lemon seemed enormous compared to the olive he'd first read about.
It was hard to fathom how Rey hid something the size of a lemon inside her as well as she did. Then again, she was tall — he often forgot how tall, because to him, most people were just varying stages of short. Her torso was long. She had room to accommodate a lemon, and probably a lot bigger.
"Ben," she said, and his attention flicked away from her midsection guiltily. Her expression told him he'd been caught. "You're tying to activate ultrasound-vision again."
"That would be the strangest superpower ever," he decided, "but in these circumstances, incredibly useful."
The appointment yesterday had left him in another drug-like high. Doctor Holdo confirmed that Rey was in excellent health, her vitals were great, and they heard a steady, strong heartbeat. Lamentably, they didn't do another scan, but just hearing that welcome sound had sent him soaring for the rest of the day. It would sustain him until the next appointment in another month.
"You need to get a move on," Rey reminded him. "Look at the time."
He did, and sighed. "Damnit. Okay."
She was a pleasant distraction to have around. Showing up late had become a habit since she started staying over.
He quickly finished his tight Windsor knot and went to the bathroom to check his hair. She followed him downstairs and watched him grab his lunch out of the fridge. Ben dithered by the door, caught in the uncertainty of how to say goodbye, like he was every morning. He wanted to grab her and kiss her. This thing they were doing, playing house like this, it really messed with his head. Sometimes he entirely forgot she wasn't his wife, and this little domestic charade wasn't their life.
"Text me if you need anything," he said instead.
She hovered in his entryway like she didn't really know what to do with herself either. "Okay."
Then in a fit of nerves, he turned and left.
No part of him, not even the tiniest fraction, wanted things to go back to how they were before. He loved having her there. He loved walking up next to her every morning, loved being part of her morning and evening routines. He would never ask her to leave. But god, it was also so hard. He was trying to be cautious and careful and stick to his plan of slowly, methodically making her feel safe enough to explore her feelings, but every day dragged him closer and closer to the edge. Sometimes he had to go hide in the bathroom and breathe and calm himself down so he didn't rip open his dresser, pull out the ring, and beg her, beg her to end his agony and please just be his, forever.
He didn't want to be friends anymore.
Friends was a loathsome word to use for what he felt for her.
He had to get a hold of himself. Because worse than being her friend was being her ex-friend, the obligatory face she had to see for birthday parties or band concerts or weekend custody exchanges. And if he spooked her, if he breached the neutral zone before she was ready, that's what he would end up with.
He called his mother.
"Ben!" she trilled happily. "This is a pleasant surprise. I'm going to start class in a few minutes, so I don't have long to chat."
"That's fine. I just wanted to let you know that I am coming on Sunday."
"You are?" she sounded startled. There was a beat of silence, and then, "So what's her name?"
Because his mother knew him too well. If he'd be at the family dinner, it meant he was probably in a relationship. Except this time it wasn't so simple as that.
He sighed. "It's Rey, Mom. I'm bringing Rey."
"Oh! The wedding girl!"
"Yep, that one." His mother had been allowed exactly two opportunities to interact with Rey. At Snap Wexley's wedding a couple years ago, and at Paige Tico's a couple weeks ago. Ben had made sure to keep them apart over the years. He suspected they'd get along well — his mother loved things that struggled to survive and thrived on temerity alone, and Rey loved unconventional people. It was a recipe for friendship. Ben could not afford to have them get along in a world where he and Rey were just friends, so he kept them decidedly apart.
All that was irrelevant now.
"I thought you said she was a friend."
"She is."
"Not a girlfriend?"
"No."
"Okay..." she waited, obviously hoping for an explanation. When it didn't come, she sighed. "Well, whatever gets you home, son. I'm happy we'll get to see you. And looking forward to getting to know Rey better."
"Mm-hmm. So we'll see you Sunday."
"Dinner will be at six-thirty. Gotta run! Class is about to start."
"Bye, Mom."
"Love you, Ben!"
And then the line went dead. Ben exhaled a tense breath. He really had no idea how this would go.
Only one way to find out.
Sunday
Rey fidgeted in the passenger seat. Ben had no doubt about how nervous she was.
He might have teased her about acting like she'd never met them before, but he didn't. Truth was, he felt nervous too.
"You look nice," he offered, in an attempt to break the awkward and pressing silence that existed between them in the car. It wasn't a long drive out to the country estates where his parents lived, but it might as well have been hours away for how time seemed to drag.
She did look nice. She'd fretted for a long time trying to figure out what to wear, hounding him with questions about how dressed up everyone else would be. They wouldn't, he assured her, this was supremely casual, sometimes he went in sweats. It didn't assuage her. In the end she'd chosen a cute blue dress that artfully treaded the line between nice and casual. It hugged her slim frame flatteringly, but didn't do much to disguise the barely-there curve of her lower abdomen. Ben didn't think she knew it looked a little more obvious in that dress. He didn't tell her, because it gave him a thrill of fear and excitement. Over the dress she wore an oversized chunky knit sweater for warmth. It was a good combo.
"Thanks," she said softly. She hugged to her middle now a little basket containing a jar of her homemade strawberry jam and a loaf of her homemade bread. His parents wouldn't know what this kind of gesture meant, coming from Rey, but he hoped they'd be gracious and thankful anyway. Giving food was one of Rey's love languages. Ben knew that her decision to bring these things was a signal that she was ready to embrace his family with her whole heart, if they'd let her.
He couldn't think of anything else to say as they drove up the lane, through the seven sprawling acres of manicured lawn and beloved woods. It was the perfect place to get lost in as a child, pretending to be an adventurer on an epic quest. He had loved growing up here, until he got to be a teenager and learned how pretentious it was and how the other students at his fancy prep school liked to compare their parents wealth like it was a reflection of their own accomplishments.
That's when Ben had started to resent being the son of a big wig politico and her archeologist husband.
Thankfully Rey didn't gasp or croon her admiration for the big house or its beautiful land like some of the other girls he'd brought home. But then, she'd been here before. He'd brought her a couple times when his parents were out of town and asked him to come feed their dog. They'd even fooled around once in his old bedroom, thoroughly defiling the vestiges of his childhood. He'd particularly relished that act, soiling the fine bedspread his mother had never let him so much as drink water on, lest he ruin it.
Yeah, he definitely still had some unresolved issues.
Rey didn't seem to mind them, though. And right now it was clear none of his issues were playing through her mind. Her eyes wandered over to the front door of his house and there glued, her face going decidedly pale.
"Doing okay?" he asked softly.
She shivered. "Do you think they're going to be angry?"
"Not at you." He meant this to sound reassuring, but she just darted a disturbed look at him. His mouth twisted in a wry grin. "No, Rey, I don't think they'll be angry. Surprised, certainly, but not angry. What would be the point?"
"There wasn't a point for Rose to be angry at us, but she was."
Ah. Rose. The relationship between the two women had...suffered...since Poe's party. Rey said it was fine, that it was just Rose being Rose, but Ben knew better. He saw that Rey was uncomfortable. She'd declined Rose's offer to come help her make the jam. She had fun with Rose at the wedding, and they'd had good moments since, but things were different. Rose had crossed a line, and Rey wasn't ready to open back up yet.
Ben figured they'd work it out eventually. Rey didn't try to talk to him about what was going on, so he didn't pry.
But he knew his role right now, and that was to throw Rose under the goddamn bus if that would reassure her. "Rose was way out of line. And tactless. Trust me, however my family feels about it privately, they have too many manners to say that kind of nonsense. They might get worked up, but they'd never talk like that."
She pursed her lips. Yeah, she didn't believe him. But she did find some vein of steel within herself because he watched her draw herself up, set her jaw, and nod in resolve.
"Okay. Let's go."
Ben scrambled out of the car and around to her side, opening the door just as she was trying to open it herself. She gave him a funny look as she got out. He smiled and took her hand. Her gaze dropped to his grasp.
He kept his voice light. "Do you mind? Makes me feel a little braver."
She gave him a skeptical look. "No..."
So he kept her warm little hand in his as they walked up the steps to the big doors. Just before he could open them, however, they were thrown open from within and his mother stood there with a huge grin.
"You're here!"
Ben startled. "Jeeze, Mom, were you watching us from the window?"
"Nevermind," she dismissed, throwing herself at him in a huge hug. "You're finally home."
Rey's hand slipped out of his and she stepped back to give them some room. He rolled his eyes and hugged his mother back, exasperated by her effusive love, but grateful for it too.
When she finally let him go, he motioned to Rey.
"Mom, you remember—"
"Yes, of course I do." She pulled Rey into a hug next, forcing the younger woman to hastily move the basket out of the way so it wasn't crushed between them. The hold wasn't quite as squeezy-tight as his, but warm and genuine nonetheless. "How are you, Rey? It's lovely to see you again."
"Y-you too," Rey said breathlessly. Ben could see how she was trying to resist the power of the hug. He knew how hopeless she was for a good fond embrace like that. They always made her melt.
Eventually his mother let go and Rey held the basket out to her.
"These are for you," she said.
A brief flicker of surprise ran over his mother's face, followed by intrigue and undeniable pleasure. She took the basket with appropriate reverence. "This is incredibly thoughtful of you. Thank you."
"She made those," Ben said, lest she mistake the magnitude of the gesture.
His mother smiled at him. "I guessed that. Remarkably resourceful, aren't you, Rey? I love it. Come on inside, both of you."
She turned, happily carrying her basket and leading them in. This time Rey's hand found his of her own accord, and she stepped in close as they followed in behind his mother.
They found Ben's father in the kitchen, picking blueberries out of a bowl. When Han saw his son, he merely gave him a chin thrust of acknowledgement and grunted, "Hey, kid."
Leia made a low disapproving sound, so Han's attention flitted to her, and then to Rey. He jerked upright and ran a hand through his hair. "Oh! Sorry, didn't realize we had company." He came over. "Hey, I remember you. We've met before, haven't we? At Nora's boy's wedding?"
"Han, her name is Rey," Leia reminded him.
He gave her an offended look. "I remember!"
Ben was pretty sure he didn't.
He grinned at Rey. "Howya been?"
Rey smiled. Ben didn't know how she'd managed to get along so well with this father at Snap's wedding, but he remembered that the two of them were regular old pals by the end of the night.
"I'm great," she told Han with some energy. "How's the world of archeology?"
He waved a dismissive hand. "Bah. Same old same old. 'Bout as exciting as reading about others discovering dusty ole jars can be."
"Aw," she said with a grin, "You mean it's not like Indiana Jones all the time?"
He laughed. "Oh man! I don't think Leia would let me leave the house if it were. That guy got all the ladies."
"And all the curses and the murder-attempts," Leia reminded him acidly.
Han laughed again.
"Where's Artu?" Ben asked, looking around. The kitchen smelled heavily of roasting garlic and bread and heaven. "Smells like there's pizza in the oven."
"He stepped out for a minute to take a call," said his father. "And you're right on the money."
His mother patted his arm. "I'm running an experiment to see if having your favorite food on the table will persuade you to come home more often."
Ben's mouth was already watering in anticipation. "It might work."
If he could smell the pizzas, though, he knew Rey must be drowning in it. He glanced at her and she gave him a thin smile. Yep, she was having some trouble. He tugged her away and out of the kitchen. "Come on, let's find somewhere to sit."
His parents followed them to the living room. Ben chose the loveseat for the two of them, his parents sat on the sofa. Rey's eyes wandered around the collected pieces of art or pottery from various cultures adorning the walls and bookshelves and tables. Tokens of Han's work, though none of them priceless originals. He always demanded those be kept in the cultures they came from, whenever possible.
"When is Luke coming?" Ben asked his parents.
"Any minute," said his mother smoothly. "No work talk, please."
"Trust me, that's what I want, too." He stretched his arm over the back of the couch behind Rey, reclining a little. "How's the academic life, Mom?"
"Stimulating," she said happily. His mother was far too well-suited to the political games of academia after making a career out of bigger political games. Her attention turned to Rey with bright interest. "But we already know about all of that. Rey, tell me about you. Remind me, you work in...advertising?"
Rey shifted. Ben was stupidly aware of the empty inches between them on the couch and how her knee still managed to brush against his despite them.
"Yes, I'm a freelancer. I write advertising copy for several different businesses."
"Fascinating! I imagine you're quite in demand."
"For smaller businesses, yes. Larger ones usually have their own copywriters in house."
Rey was confident when she talked about her work. This was an area where she was comfortably skilled and knew it. Ben was glad to see her relaxing. His parents asked her questions about what kind of things she wrote, what kinds of businesses she'd done work for recently, how she advertised her own services, and Rey answered them all.
Ben's mother sat back, thoroughly pleased. "I'm impressed. Looks like you've built yourself a thriving little business."
Rey smiled, full and big and unrestrained. "Thank you. I am proud of it."
"And what about your family?" Leia asked. "Are they back in England?"
"Oh, I don't have — a family," she said, stumbling a little. Ben had heard her deflect this comment a hundred times. He'd never heard her stagger around it like it was some great secret. But even more surprising than the stumble was how fully she opened up afterwards. "I was a foster child. Back there. Not from a good home, either. So I haven't really looked back since I got here. My friends have become my family."
"Hey, I was one too," Han said, leaning forward. "We're made of tough stuff, we street urchins, aren't we?"
Rey grinned, sitting up with an excited, eager look. "I like to think we are."
Ben approved of what was happening here. His father (why did Ben never remember that his father had a similar upbringing to Rey's?) had reacted perfectly well to her little reveal of an unhappy childhood, with neither pity or shock. Both his parents, actually, were behaving better than he could have wished. This was important because Ben this time, Ben actually cared very much that they approved of the girl he'd brought home. Before, he didn't. But the stakes were higher for him this time, because his ideal future included Rey in it, and that had never happened with anyone else. If he could work everything out right, his family would be seeing a lot more of her...for the rest of time.
But the chime of the doorbell came ringing through the house, interrupting the good, natural flow. Ben begrudged his uncle for still insisting on it, even after all these years, even though this was the house of his twin. He'd never felt comfortable just opening the door and walking in. Maybe he'd accidentally seen something he shouldn't have once, and had made this rule for himself ever since. Ben had no idea why else he'd still ring every damn time. Even when he was expected.
But when his mother stood to go answer it, an idea formed in his mind, so rapidly and so forcefully he didn't even stop to ask whether or not it was a good one before he was on his feet and he blurted, "Wait, Mom!"
She paused, looking back at him in surprise.
"Let Dad get it," he said quickly. "I wanted to talk to you about something before they get in here."
"Now?" Her surprise compounded.
Han frowned. "Wait a minute, am I being kept in the dark about something again?"
"For all you know it might be about your birthday," Leia told him.
"Yeah right," he grumbled, but headed off towards the entry hall anyway.
Ben took Rey's hand and pulled her to her feet. Her eyes met his with wary curiosity. He smiled a little before turning back to his mother. "Can we maybe talk in your office?"
Her attention danced briefly to Rey, her brows lifting further still, but she nodded and led them across the living room to her private office. It was basically a library, with wall to wall bookshelves and a desk in the middle, affording a nice view out to the garden from her one enormous window. There was a soft window seat there, which she'd always called her reading nook.
She closed the door behind them. "Well this is different," she remarked.
"It's not about Dad's birthday," Ben told her, before she could jump to that conclusion again.
She laughed. "I didn't think so. Alright then, Ben, what's so important?"
For all her lovingly meddlesome ways, his mother had always been his biggest, unfailingly supportive champion. She had always pushed him to be better, cheered his accomplishments, comforted him in his valleys. Even, and maybe especially, when he didn't want it. When he tried to shut her out. She deserved to hear this news first and have her own private reaction, without the crush of everyone else around her.
So why was he all the sudden so damn nervous?
His heart skipped a beat and he glanced at Rey. She was hugging the sweater a little tighter around her, trying to make herself small.
"So..." he started, and immediately floundered. How did one just say this kind of thing? No wonder Rey had hesitated for so long before finally spitting it out in the restaurant. It was surprisingly difficult.
His mother regarded him wordlessly and said nothing. She waited. It didn't really make it any easier.
"Mom, Rey is...pregnant," he said, then added awkwardly, "It's mine."
A moment. A silence. A single brow lifted, and then the second. Surprise and — a flash of a smile, artfully concealed a moment later. She gave Ben a wonderful shrewd look. "Was this a planned event?"
"Definitely not," he said. "We...got sick...we spent the quarantine together..."
His mother nodded. "I remember you told me that you shared it with a friend. I didn't realize you meant you shared it like this."
Still, there was no reproach in her words. Whatever reaction she was having, she hid it well. Ben waited, because surely there had to be more than his big reveal than this.
Her attention turned to Rey, who stood resolutely, if still shakily, beside him. Leia came forward and took Rey's hands, both of them, leading her over to the window seat. They sat down together.
"What do you feel about this, dear?" she asked softly. "If it wasn't the plan, I imagine it was a pretty big shock."
Rey slowly released a shuddering breath. "It was. Ben and I aren't...we're not really a couple. It was supposed to be casual."
Leia nodded, her expression gentle. "You must have been terrified."
"I was. I — am. I'm still really scared. But I wanted the two of us to decide together, and we decided to...to go ahead and...embrace the unexpected." Her hazel eyes lifted, meeting Ben's. His heart pulsed with longing as she offered him a tentative smile.
Leia's smile was a lot bigger. Still, it was soft and kind. "You are brave, my girl. I know my opinion doesn't matter, but for what it's worth, I am very happy."
Rey's lip quivered and her eyes grew glassy as she tried to hold back tears. She shook her head, unable to form a reply.
Ben's mother leveled him with an interested look. "So you came here tonight to tell everyone?"
He nodded.
She still addressed him, but put a hand on Rey's arm. "Smart thinking, telling me first. I'll be on your side out there."
"So you aren't angry?" Rey managed to ask. Ben could hear her relief and bewilderment both loud and clear. "That's we're not...?"
"Oh, that?" Leia laughed lightly. "Why should I be mad? That's up to you two. Either you want him or you don't. You know your mind better than anyone else, so I don't see any use getting worked up about your choices. Besides, I had almost given up hope of grandkids entirely. I don't care if you're married or together, just as long as you let me be in this sweet baby's life."
"Of course you will!" Rey gasped, choking a little on her emotions. "I want you to be. I want all of you."
His mother's soft smile returned. "I don't imagine this is easy for you. And it's perfectly alright to be afraid. But don't you worry. Whatever you are to Ben, this family will take care of you and your little one."
Rey did break then, putting her head in her hands when the tears spilled over and her shoulders began to heave in soft sobs. This wasn't strictly hormones, Ben knew, but the product of a deep, ancient hunger in her. He moved to comfort her, but his mother was already gathering Rey into her arms and brushing her hair in soft, soothing strokes.
"It's going to be okay, my dear. You're alright. I remember how scared and alone I was when I found out Ben was coming. My mother died when I was a kid, and my aunt, who I loved like a mother, died before I got married. I felt like I had no one to help me through it. I won't let that be you, understand? I'm right here."
Ben was suddenly and powerfully overwhelmed with regret. Regret that he had ever resented his mother, that he had ever tried to shrug her out of his life. He regretted all those missed dinners. All those times when he'd brushed off her attempts to reconnect. He ought to have been a better son. She deserved a better son. He should have spent his whole life paying for the gratitude he felt in this moment right here. Right now. He wondered if he'd ever loved her more. She didn't even know Rey, yet she was willing to embrace her and bring her into her heart just like that.
To love the girl that Ben loved.
She motioned for him to come sit by her, and he did, instantly. She took both their hands in hers and held them tight, leaning her head on Ben's shoulder. "My giant, hopeless boy. What are we going to do with you? Are you ready to be a dad? How do you feel about all this?"
"He's crazy happy," Rey laughed through her tears.
"I am," Ben admitted, meeting her gaze with a sheepish smile. "I don't know about ready, but I'm not sorry it happened."
Leia chuckled. "You know, you would have saved yourself a lot of awkward introductions if you'd just told me you were working on getting me that grandbaby."
"I wasn't working on it," he said. "But yeah, if you could stop bringing other women around right now, that'd be great."
"Oh, it's done. I don't need to see you married to get what I wanted."
Rey laughed again, wiping away the last of her tears. Ben leaned his cheek against his mother's head. He felt warm with love and relief and gladness.
Until there came a knock at the door and his father poked his head into the room. He looked startled to see them.
"What, you came in here just to have a big cuddle session? Some of us are hungry, you know. And the pizzas are done."
"Go to the table," Leia chided affectionately. "We're coming."
He grumbled. Leia let go of both Ben and Rey and drifted off after him, waving her hands and admonishing him about patience and politeness. Ben stood. Rey immediately stepped into him, burying her face into his chest and wrapping her arms tight around his middle.
Ben was surprised, but deeply pleased. He held her. "Are you alright?"
"I think I love your mom," she said, muffled into his shirt.
He did too. "That went better than you thought?"
"Better than I ever dreamed." She pulled away from him. "Why haven't you let us hang out with her before?"
"Because I didn't want either of you to get attached if we didn't have a future together," he said honestly.
Her eyes widened. He let the implications of that statement fall where it would, leading her out of the room by the hand once more.
Luke and Mara both vaguely remembered Rey from Snap's wedding too. They were polite and friendly. Luke's good mood was still holding up, which Ben was glad about. His uncle didn't have that worn-out, sour look on his face he often wore. A few minutes into dinner and conversation, and he was looking downright pleasant.
Weird.
Mara was her genial, outgoing self. When Rey expressed her surprise at the quality of the pizza, Mara was the one who laughed and told her not to compliment anyone here for it, because none of them made it themselves. It was their hired cook.
Rey gave Ben scandalized look. "You grew up with a cook?"
"You haven't tasted my mom's cooking," he said. "Trust me, we were all happy the day she finally hired Artu."
Han and Luke agreed, and Leia punched each of their arms in turn, throwing them dirty looks.
"How did you learn, then?" Rey asked.
Ben shrugged. "I hung out with Artu. He's funny."
"He's got a terrible mouth on him," Luke remarked, shaking his head. "Absolutely filthy. Ben would say the worst things after spending an evening in the kitchen."
Han laughed. "I remember that! Wow, kiddo, you used to say some wild things. But the food was too good, so we never did get mad at Artu about it."
"Oh, I can support that," Rey said enthusiastically. She was on her third slice by then. Her appetite was better than Ben had seen it in weeks. "Food is much more important than language."
"Did you know Rey made us a loaf of bread and a jar of jam?" Leia cut in.
Mara and Luke looked at her in surprise. Rey blushed. "I like to make stuff," she said. "But not like...meals. Just stuff. Ben's a way better cook."
But none of Ben's family was interested in hearing about his culinary exploits. They wanted to know about how she learned to bake and make and do all the unusual things she did. She told them. Eventually it led to her fooding hoarding, and how she grew up food insecure, and Ben was amazed at how willingly she told them — though she kept back the stuff about the abuse and severe neglect. She smoothly transitioned it to the quarantine and how it had gotten her and Ben through it without needing to panic buy anything.
Leia kept meeting Ben's eye throughout the evening, tossing him these meaningful little glances. In those Ben could see her true feelings, carefully held back in the office. Her dark eyes sparkled and she couldn't resist smiling these private little smiles. Ben realized she wasn't just happy, she was ecstatic.
Eventually they finished off the pizzas and his mother went to get them the desserts from the kitchen. She brought out a platter of delicate fruit parfaits in champagne flutes and passed them around. As she sat down, she gave Ben a significant look.
Now.
He glanced between his aunt, uncle, and father. Their moods were excellent. Hopefully he wasn't about to disrupt them.
When the conversation lulled, he cleared his throat and announced, "So, I've got some big news."
"You've decided to go on the trip after all," Luke said eagerly, leaning forward.
"No." Ben frowned.
"What trip?" Rey asked.
He gave her a subtle shake of the head. He didn't want to get into that topic right now.
Luke, apparently, had no issue with it. "Our new clients want Ben to go down there for a couple weeks to head up the roll-out of this new campaign. Work with their marketing department. The whole thing."
Rey blinked, frowning just a little. She glanced back at Ben again. "You love to go on those trips."
"Exactly," Luke said with heated validation. "Never given me pushback before."
Ben huffed an impatient breath. "Can we just — drop that, for a second? I wanted to talk about something else."
Leia cut her brother a stern look. "We established at the last dinner that there was to be no shop talk at the table."
"Sorry," Luke muttered.
"Go ahead, Ben," Mara said encouragingly. "We're listening now."
He'd already gotten the support of the person who mattered most. This was merely a formality so he didn't have to deal with the headache of each of them finding out from somebody else and then being offended by it. So he didn't have any trouble finding the words this time.
"Rey and I are having a baby together."
"Well that's a bad plan," he father laughed. "Why would you do that? And when are you planning to have one?"
"In October."
His father's face blanked. "Wait. That's..."
Ben rolled his eyes. "She's expecting, Dad. Right now. I didn't mean we want to have a baby together, I said we are."
The silence that followed was brief, but profound. And then three people started shouting at once.
Luke had leapt to his feet, eyes practically bugging out of his head. He gestured around wildly, demanding to know how Ben could possibly think this was a good idea, why he'd put the cart before the horse, what would this mean for his career. Mara was a lot more excited, a thousand bewildered questions bubbling out of her. His father was shaking his head in disbelief and talking right over them both, asking how come Ben never paid attention when Han was trying to tell him all about the birds and the bees and using protection.
His mother was trying to get them all to quiet down.
Rey glanced at Ben, and he at her. A breathless little laugh escaped her, and a huge grin. Ben laughed too. It was like throwing a stone into a pond full of geese, and now they were all indignant and aflutter.
"One at a damn time," Leia groused loudly enough to shut the other three up. "Good gravy. Calm down and raise your objections one at a time."
"No, no objections from me!" Mara said. She put a hand on Rey's arm. "I think it's wonderful! A baby!"
Rey ventured a sweet little smile.
"Wonderful?" Luke demanded from his wife, eyes still wide and astonished. "Ben can't support a baby!"
"I can," Ben said smoothly. "But if you want to give me a raise, that would help."
"Is this why you don't want to go on the trip? Afraid you'll miss something important? It's just two weeks!"
"Who cares about that?" Han cut in, waving Luke down. "Ben, kid, look. When you say you're having a kid together...you guys getting married, then?"
"No," said Ben. Not yet.
"Well why the hell not? I always told you to find an orphan, didn't I? So you only had to deal with one family. And look! You found one. And she's great. We all like her, right, guys? See, we do. And she's gonna wreck her body for the sake of your kid. So what's your problem?"
Leia grabbed his forearm in a tight grip. "It doesn't matter."
"Of course it does! I wanna make sure my son does the honorable thing here. He doesn't knock a girl up and then walk away. He was raised better than that."
"You're so old fashioned," she sniped right back. "He's not walking away. He can be involved without a certificate. You don't get to care about what happens after that. You just get to be a grandpa, so stop complaining."
His father's face registered blank shock for the second time that evening. Suddenly his mouth slanted in a crooked grin. "Hey... Yeah. That's great! I'm gonna be a — wait a minute, I'm not old enough to be—" he frowned again and pointed at Ben. "What did you do?"
Rey laughed. Music amidst the mayhem.
"This seems incredible irresponsible," Luke insisted. "This isn't the order—"
"What the hell is the matter with you two?" Leia snapped at him. "You and Han acting like this is the eighteen hundreds. Honestly, you geezers, non-traditional families are everywhere. If Ben wants to make a non-traditional family with Rey, that's none of your business."
Ben sat back and let all their reactions wash around him. His mother's dogged determination, his father's conflicted excitement and outrage, Luke's indignation, Mara's wistful envy. None of it touched him. That little gnarl of rebelliousness in him, that nasty something that provoked him to defy their expectations when he could, it made him peacefully immune to this scene. He was glad.
He attacked his dessert with gusto, then.
"Did you know about this?" Han said to Leia.
"They just told me before dinner."
"And you're fine with it?"
"Yes, I am. You're not?"
"Well..." he looked disturbed. "I don't know. Give me a minute."
Leia snorted. "For what? What are you doing to do if you decide you're not fine with it? There's a baby on the way, Han. Your son's baby. Either get on board or don't, but it's happening regardless."
Luke sat down. His attention turned uncertainly to Rey. She still hadn't touched her parfait. None of them had, except Ben, who was enjoying his quite a lot.
"I apologize for flying off the handle," he said. Mara gave him an approving nod.
"It's okay," said Rey. "Trust me, I understand the shock."
"How are you doing with it?" he asked.
She smiled bravely. "It's an adjustment. But I think I'm okay."
"Holy smokes," Han interjected. "Ben! You should have told us! Here we are with a house reeking like garlic. That used to make your mom spew all over the place, remember, Leia?"
She gave a humorless laugh. "You have such a charming way with words, my dear."
"No, don't worry," Rey assured him, grinning now. "Really, that part's getting a little better."
Not by much. She was being generous.
The initial shock started to wear off and everybody calmed down little by little. Their questions were less heated, Leia's reassurances more heard, and eventually they all settled enough to eat their desserts and kept discussing the big revelation without so much passion.
When they finally left that night, Rey seemed happy. And Ben was...satisfied. Yes, satisfied would be right.
The feeling in the car was so different from how it had been when they left. The silence didn't carry any of the earlier awkwardness, only contentment.
"So that went well," he said after a while.
"I really like your family," she said.
Good. That was very good.
"You fit in really naturally with them," he said.
She stared out the window, her face distant and thoughtful. She didn't say anything for a while. And then, softly, she said, "I'm glad our baby will be loved."
"Very," Ben agreed. "Smothered, maybe. I know they were all shocked tonight, but trust me, my dad's a marshmallow and Mara's mush for babies. Luke is Luke, but he's not all that bad, in the end."
She hummed a soft little laugh. When it died away, silence followed for another few minutes. Ben would give anything to know what was in her head. Eventually she sucked in a slow, unsteady breath and said, "Ben, I...I don't really know how to do families. I don't know what that looks like."
"I know." His voice dropped, soft and gentle. "Luckily you're coming into one where we're all kind of bad at it. So you can't really do it wrong."
She gave him a funny look. He didn't even realize what he'd said until she reminded him gently, "I'm not really part of it, though. The baby is."
"My mom said they'd treat you as one of us anyway," he hedged. "I'm pretty sure the actual creator of the newest Skywalker-Solo gets honorary membership."
She thought about that for a while. Then added, "Your mom asked if she could take me shopping for maternity clothes."
A shock of realization swept through him. That little swell at her middle, of course he knew it would grow, but he didn't think about her needing...official clothes. Every new step on this path was a bizarre and stunning confirmation that all of this was very, very real.
"I want to go with her," she continued, oblivious. "It sounds fun. And don't think you got out of it, by the way. We need to talk about your business trip."
"What? Why?" Ben gave her a bewildered glance.
"Because you love those trips."
"So?"
"Why aren't you going?"
He frowned. "Because I don't want to."
"But why? Is it because of me?"
"Yes." He didn't see a reason to hide it. Every day it was harder and harder to suppress the urge to sweep away the last name she despised so much and replace it with his own, but he was happy. He didn't want any of that to change by going out of town.
"Ben," she protested. "Nothing is going to happen in the two weeks you're away. I really don't want you to stay on my account. I really, really don't want that."
He sighed. "You really want me to go?"
"I do. Because I know you want to."
"I will go on one condition."
He shot her a challenging glance.
She lifted a brow. "What condition?"
"You have to stay at my place the whole time I'm gone."
She laughed, surprised. "Why?"
"What do you mean 'why?' You get what you want: for me to go and pretend my life isn't completely upended. And I'll get what I want: for you to make my home your home."
He could feel her eyes on him, but he watched the dark road running on before him, waiting for her answer.
Finally, she spoke.
"Okay. Deal."
Coming Up Next: Avocado and Cucumber weeks, and "gratitude." Maybe a gender reveal too, depending on word count. Rey POV again.
Thanks for everyone's input on baby, btw! I'm playing with twins in my other in-canon fic, so not sure I'll do it in this one, but we'll see. I'm writing next chapter so I'll see what feels right :D
COMMENT REPLIES:
glitterstar7 : Omg YES! I didn't even think about So Close but that is completely perfect for the dance scene!
Dw.618 : Lol yes, he definitely should have. Playing with fire, as always.
Kahoko : Thank you so, so, so much!
1Hurricane: I have recently discovered a love for modern alternative universes too! There's still nothing quite like canon-verse, though. Thanks for your support! *hearts*
lisottina81: Thank you!
1Hurricane: OMG YAAAAAYYYY! Congrats on your lil strawberry! Good vibes that you both stay healthy during all this crazy!
Hartmannclan: Nearly there ;)
GALAXYTHUNDER00: Roll Baby Ben is the sweeeeetest thing!
kaelmona: Playing around with a bit more challenging version of Rose here, haha. She's so sweet and supportive all the time, I decided to have fun with a slightly more pushy version of a friend.
soccerlover21: Thank you so much!
Eliana: Muchisimas gracias!
tacker23: Thank you! It's so hard to talk about feelings ;)
Annabethjc23: Thank you so much! That honestly made my day.
Guest 1: Pronto. Muuuuuuuy prontito ;D
Guest 2: Not sure how many chapters, honestly. I usually outline these things but with this one I'm just kind of flying by the seat of my pants. Lol but not too many more, I think. Maybe like...fourish?
Guest 3: Thank you!
Guest 4: I'll probably update again onnnnnn Wednesday the 1st-ish. Hopefully.
Lady Coventina: Omg hiii! You guys staying healthy over there in Denmark?