Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one, apart from the following: Fredrik Jones, Theodore Wells.

JUST SO YOU KNOW: This is my FIRST attempt at Sherlock and Johnlock, so please be kind!

Please, please review XD

ALSO: I made up middle names and first names for certain characters, just so I had something to work with ^_^

I HAVE NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSED NOR HAVE BEEN PRESNT WHEN SOMEONE HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD, ASPERGERS OR THE LIKE, I'M SORRY FOR ANYTHING I DID WRONG!

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!

Chapter 8

Sherlock

John had called his friends mum a few days after he said he would - both of us had realised that Christmas was probably not the best time to make an appointment. So, only a couple of days after boxing day, John accompanied me to a Doctors Surgery.

Surprisingly, John had managed to arrange it so we would be there when it was, practically, empty. When I had asked, he told me he thought I would prefer it that way. It warmed me. We didn't have to wait too long, either, the woman calling us in only minutes after we entered.

Dr Louise Hooper was a very bubbly woman. Nothing like her daughter, Molly - the two were practically identical. Whilst Molly was quite shy and nervous, Dr Hooper seemed quite outgoing and confident. It made me wonder if that was a common occurrence, for a child to be such a polar opposite to a parent. Not that I could give an accurate comparison. I didn't know Molly well. I only knew that she was part of John's friendship group, also had a knack for science, and couldn't stop staring at me... It was all rather strange, really.

The woman, as expected, greeted John with the familiarity one usually did when they knew the other person. I already knew it was going to happen, so of course it was no shock to me. The shock came when she turned that same familiar greeting onto me. I had never met the woman, nor she me. How could she be so familiar with me?

I suppose I should have been a little more...pleasant, when asking just how the in the world she knew me. The woman seemed rather taken aback. I didn't really need John, at that moment, to lean over and tell me it was a bit 'not good'. I had started to learn that a lot of the things I said and did were not good... Which was one of the reasons I was there.

I didn't apologise. My question was a valid one, though not asked in the right tone. That was probably going to be the next thing John helped me with - figuring out when I should apologise. I didn't have to wait long until Dr Hooper explained how her daughter spoke about 'all her friends'. I found it funny, especially since I had had no interaction with Molly. One look from John had me holding my tongue, however.

"Well, let's get started!" she chirped.

I sprinted from the car to the house, the moment it was parked. I couldn't remember a time I had ran to my room that fast, changing into my pyjamas as soon as the door was closed. Never before had there been a time I wanted to get into a house... Then again, I had never felt safe in a house before this one. And that was the truth. I felt safe with the Watsons. Safer than I ever had felt.

This was after only four months.

Imagine how I would feel after a year!

Still, that didn't mean I would never be overwhelmed... It took a lot for me to stay in that room. If John hadn't been there, someone I trusted, I wouldn't have been able to do it. I wouldn't have been able to let that woman be able to do everything she had. I had reached my limit. I just needed to be in my own space; the place I controlled.

As soon as I had changed, I practically dived onto my bed, burying myself under the covers and creating a sort of nest. I was overwhelmed, over stimulated... I needed calm and I needed peaceful.

I needed to unwind.

It took just under fifteen minutes before there was a soft knock at my door. Fifteen minutes wasn't long enough for the unwinding or the calm or the peace. Fifteen minutes was not enough!

They didn't wait. They just walked in, softly closing the door behind them.

The first thing to hit me? The smell of hot chocolate. It had been years since the last time I had had it. The last time being the day Mrs Hudson was forced to leave me. I had never found it important to learn how to make the drink, so I never taught myself... There had been many times I wished I had.

A soft thud on my bedside table alerted me to the mug being set down. I thought the person would then leave. No. They walked back around to the other side of my bed, the side I wasn't on, the mattress dipping as they sat down.

John. He would be the only one that would stay.

Honestly? I think he was the only one I would let stay.

"I'm proud of you." he told me, somehow not sounding condescending. "You did really well today."

Turning down the corner of my duvet, I looked up at the blond with my one uncovered eye. He was sat there, legs straight out in front of him, crossed at the ankle. He was resting against the headboard, head leant back, eyes closed, his hands wrapped around his own mug.

"I know it was hard for you to do. I remember how you reacted to all the questions Mum and Dad asked you, when you first came here. Of course today was going to be hard for you." John continued. "I was worried it would get too much for you, that it would be too much... I didn't want you to go through that; I didn't want to be part of the reason you would have had to go through that."

He didn't move at all. The entire time, he just sat completely still. He must have known I was watching him, John wasn't so stupid as not to realise... Yet, still, he made no move.

"You didn't really want to go in the first place, I get that. Certain events just pushed you into that corner, even though you were uncomfortable with it." John sighed. "You've had to deal with that too many times since you've been here and, I promise, I'll try my best to curb those situations whenever I can. Especially if it means being able to throw your brother out of my house. I've always wanted to throw someone out..."

"I doubt you could lift him up." I whispered.

Apparently, fifteen minutes and talking with John was all I needed.

What put me on edge the most, after seeing Dr Hooper, was the wait. Waiting for the 'results'. John could see it and he did his best to distract me. He showed me movies I had never seen before, or maybe I had deleted, I couldn't remember... He would walk with me around the gardens, just talking with me about anything and everything. He would join me in my Experiment Room, sitting close by yet out of the way, watching what I was doing and listening to my length explanations. He got me to play my violin, even suggesting he grab his clarinet and we learn a piece together.

The last person to suggest that to me was Mycroft.

I think John realised that when I hadn't replied after a short while, trying to retract his suggestion as quickly as he made it. I think it surprised him when I ended up agreeing.

"Mycroft plays piano." I had explained. "At least, I think he still plays... And Sherri played the flute. It's a shame things turned out the way they had - the four of us could have made quite a good team."

"Quite a good team? I think we would have been the best!" John grinned.

"You would have liked each other."

John stopped from where he was making his way to his room, to get his clarinet. He frowned slightly, as he turned just so to face me, head tilted a little. I suppose I hadn't really given much of an introduction to that statement, well, to anyone other than me...

"You and Sherri, I mean. Before the incident that had him taken away, before he got to that point, he was perceived as the more...normal, of us Holmes boys." I explained. "He was kind, understanding. Intelligent, yet not frighteningly so. Sherri was someone who could become your friend from the moment he said hello. I see some similarities between the two of you, only a few, but I knew he would have liked you. Especially with how you've been with me over these past few months."

I never thought I would ever speak of Sherrinford again. It wasn't that I never wanted to, but because I could never talk of him with the people that knew him. How could I? Mycroft had been brainwashed, our parents were monsters... No one else knew the truth. But I could talk to John. I could talk to him without him knowing everything, at least, not until I was ready. John would listen and he wouldn't judge. Not like everyone else had. He would let me talk about my older brother, about Sherrinford, and he would see him as just that. As Sherrinford, as my big brother. Nothing else.

"I would like to thank you, John." I told him. "On his behalf... And on mine. You've done a lot for me. To most it may not seem like a lot, but it's more than anyone has done for me. You have not only become my first friend, my best friend, but you've helped me. It is not easy for me to accept help or to acknowledge that I may need it yet, either way, you have done it from the start. You truly are a fascinating person, John Watson. And an invaluable friend."

John was hugging me before I had finished speaking.

It took days. Days before I was told what was wr- No. Not wrong. I wasn't allowed to say or think 'wrong'. Different. That was what I had to exchange it for.

It took days before I was told what was different about me, about my mind.

Yet again, I had to go to that Doctors Surgery. Again, John was next to me the entire time. I didn't mind if he heard. He was the one that had suggested it, after all. He was the one that had been curious. He was the one I trusted.

Yet again, we got there early, no one else around. Again, we were ushered in within minutes.

Dr Hooper, as soon as we had sat down, just went on and over about what happened the last time we had visited. John and I had both been there, we knew what had happened?! I didn't see the necessity in hearing her go over it! All I wanted to do was get the results and leave. That was all.

Of course, when she did tell me, I was almost wanting to go back to her going over what happened during the last visit.

I had been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD. I would be going on medication for the latter, just something I would need to take once a day. Whilst I knew Mycroft had, most likely, been right all those years and, I knew, John's own diagnosis would be proven true, I could still say I hadn't been fully prepared for it.

It wasn't something I had wanted to hear.

Though I had known, in the end, all the facts had been there, all the evidence had pointed towards the outcome, I had still hoped for something different.

It wasn't something I looked down upon! It wasn't something I judged people for having! Don't take my reaction in the wrong way.

It was just something I had hoped wouldn't affect me.

After the many taunts of being a freak, after the consistent bullying from Mycroft, I think I was allowed to be upset from finding out that there was something else that set me apart from everyone else, that made me far more different than I already was. It wasn't that I wanted to be like everyone else, it was just... I wanted to be different, as well as being able to fit in.

Now, I'll look at it differently, shall I? Knowing I had these unique differences, these things that made me, as John had told me, 'special', it would help to understand myself a little more. I would be able to understand why some things were harder for me to grasp - like certain social cues. I would be able to understand why I wasn't able to understand some people, why I didn't understand them when they weren't laying things out like I needed them to. I would be able to start to understand, maybe, why my brain worked as it did, why it ran so fast as so different. I would be able to understand why, when I did speak, sometimes I would do so excessively, or why I acted without thinking, why I had little to no sense of danger. I would be able to start to understand me.

But that scared me.

If I started to understand me, what would happen? Would I get to a point where something snapped and I ended up like Sherrinford? Would I get to a point of hating myself that I rejected myself completely, turning down the same path as Mycroft? Would I hate myself so much that I turned into my parents?

I didn't know and it scared me.

I was going to start to understand myself and it scared me.

That was natural, wasn't it? To feel scared? It was a basic human feeling - something a lot people seemed to forget about me. They forgot I was human, they forgot I had feelings. But I was. I was human. I had feeling. And I was scared.

"It's fine, Sherlock." John said, his voice breaking me from my head. "It's all fine."

Looking to the blonde next to me, seeing him smiling and feeling the familiar weight of his hand on my shoulder, I believed him. How could I not? He hadn't lied to me about a single thing thus far, hadn't given me a single thing to doubt him for.

So I believed him.

It would be fine. It would all be fine.

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!

Please, please review XD

Thanks being so, so patient everyone XD

I HAVE NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSED NOR HAVE BEEN PRESNT WHEN SOMEONE HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD, ASPERGERS OR THE LIKE, I'M SORRY FOR ANYTHING I DID WRONG!