Disclaimer: a generic statement that usually implies non-ownership by an obsessed fan using trademarked characters for a story which may or may not be illegal without said statement. Ex: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Legend of Zelda. Sadly.

"Come on... little closer... little closer... just one more step-no! Don't back away, you overly suspicious hatter! Get back there and let me work with you!"

"I think she's about to short-circuit," Din whispered.

"LET ME MAKE YOU SAVE THE UNIVERSE!" Farore screeched at her Attribute.

"And here I thought being impatient was your job," Nayru murmured back.

"Hey!"

Nayru ignored her now sputtering sister and placed a (hopefully) calming hand on Farore's shoulder. "Calm down," she advised. "Just be patient, remember? They'll be in position eventually."

Farore took a deep breath. "...Right. I know. You're right. I'm just a little fed up with all the manipulating and maneuvering I've had to do with very little to show for it."

"That would make anybody tense," Din agreed. "Still, Nayru's got a point. Just be patient a little while longer, and you can do whatever thing you're planning to do, okay?"

Farore took another deep breath, actually calming down this time. "Yeah. Thanks, girls. What would I do without you?"

"Go crazy," Din said matter-of-factly. "That's how Ordona went."

"I remember her," Nayru mused. "She was... odd."

"Didn't she retire to be a Light Spirit in a goat province or something?" Farore asked.

The Three Sisters were silent for a moment.

"...Yeah, she was weird," Din decided.

Green, Blue, Vio, and Red surveyed the results of the latest attempt to close the hole, being a complicated setup involving a mirror, three bombs, time-delayed wicks, and an application of physics to invert the explosion.

It hadn't worked.

"...Dang," Green sighed. "Alright, Vio, what's next on the list?"

Vio flipped open a book and paged through the contents before stopping a good ways in.

"By this point... we're down to either throwing things at it, or going and getting another magic-user to see if they know any different spells used for closing stuff. And as a last resort, asking nicely."

"Somehow I doubt getting another magic user will do much," Blue commented. "I mean, we've already tried all the spells Zelda sent with us, all six of the other Maidens already tried their luck, and I'm really not sure who else we could find that would have a better chance than them."

"True..." Green said. "But that just leaves us with..."

"Throwing things and asking nicely," Vio supplied.

"What would we even throw?" Red wondered.

"Let's chuck a Cucco at it and see what happens," Blue suggested. His three counterparts glared at him.

"That's a terrible idea," Vio stated.

"If anything, that's going to get us killed," Green added.

"So... that just leaves asking nicely?" Red asked curiously.

Everyone exchanged dubious looks.

"...If someone wants to try," Green said doubtfully.

"I'll do it!" Red said cheerfully. He took a step forward and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Hole? Would you mind closing yourself for us? It'd be a huge help."

A good sixty seconds crawled by as nothing happened, the silence broken only by the birds and Blue's muffled snicker at the absurdity of it all.

"...Well it was worth a shot I guess," Green sighed. "Anybody have any other ideas?"

"I could punch it," Blue offered.

"And then you'll go the same way that rock did," Vio retorted.

"We don't know that..."

Vio pegged him with a dry stare.

"...It was the only idea I had left, okay?" Blue defended himself. "And it's not like anybody else was saying anything..."

"I could ask meanly this time instead," Red suggested.

"If asking nicely didn't work, what makes you think asking meanly will? Heck, what makes you think asking will work at all?"

"Well, 'It's not like anybody else was saying anything', right?" Red quoted.

"Vio said that," Blue said unconvincingly.

"I did not!"

Green sighed as the two got into another of their usual spats and took over the conversation. "If you wanna give it a go, you can certainly try, Red. We're out of ideas otherwise."

Red nodded and took a second step forward. He took a deep breath, got himself into a 'Blue' mindset, and snapped, "You close up right now or I'm gonna smack the black right off your umbra!"

Despite this most convincing threat, the hole did not respond.

"...Dangit," Red sighed, deflating back into his normal personality.

"On the bright side," Green said, "I thought it was a very accurate 'Blue' impression."

Red turned and beamed at him. "Thanks!"

Green returned the smile, then paused. Over Red's shoulder, where the handle of his Four Sword poked out, the red stone in the pommel seemed to be ever-so-slightly glowing. Green frowned, confused, then shot a quick glance over his own shoulder at his own Four Sword.

It was perfectly normal.

A look at the still-arguing Blue and Vio showed that their swords weren't doing anything unusual either, so Green turned back to Red to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

...Nope, still glowing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Red asked curiously.

"Not you," Green said. "Your Sword. It's glowing."

"Really?" Red twisted around to see for himself. "Oh neat! ...Why's it doing that?"

"No idea," Green said. "Hey, Vio!"

"What!?" Vio snapped, then winced. "Sorry, wrong conversation – what?"

"Red's Sword is glowing. Any idea why?"

"It's doing what?" Vio repeated, coming over for a closer look and leaning in to examine Red's weapon more closely. "That's odd..."

"It can't be that weird though, since yours is doing it too," Red pointed out. Vio raised an eyebrow at that, then glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, the violet stone in the pommel of his Sword was glowing just like Red's was.

"...Huh?" Vio said knowledgeably.

"Now that's just bizarre," Blue decided, having joined the group again after Vio got distracted. "Has anyone's Sword ever done this before?"

"Not that I can remember," Green replied, while Red shook his head and Vio frowned.

"...There's a reason for this," he muttered. "There's always a reason..."

He started pacing back and forth in front of the other three, a habit he'd developed sometime during the fiasco in the Village of the Blue Maiden. That town had been absolutely infuriating and ended up pushing the four Links' deductive skills to the limit, and one of the side effects had been Vio manifesting a tendency to pace and think things through aloud.

"We know it's not an enemy, because we're the only ones around," he mused. "It can't be a Moon Gate, because we would have found that by now. There's no indication of a Great Fairy..."

The other three, knowing how Vio tended to get, sat back and watched, their heads following him back and forth rather like a cat following a light on the wall. Because of this, they then noticed the glow from Vio's Sword becoming brighter and dimmer in direct relation to when Vio walked past the hole.

"I think it's the hole," Red said, interrupting Vio's theory that Kaepora Gaebora was actually a Cucco in disguise and their Swords were detecting the presence of pure evil behind the costume.

"...That's highly unlikely," Vio replied slowly. "What makes you think that?"

"Watch," Red told him, pointing at his own weapon and walking towards the hole as he did. With each step he took, the red stone glowed brighter and brighter until it was comparable to a small red star, with Red himself standing a mere two feet from the void itself.

"...Okay, that's fairly convincing evidence," Vio conceded. "Now the question becomes, why?"

"Maybe if we hit the hole with the Swords instead of just punching it," Blue suggested. "That could explain the glow. It's showing us the way to fix it."

"The Four Sword doesn't have that kind of power," Vio argued. "We should know it's limits better than anyone, right? I'm positive it can't do that."

"We won't know until we try though, right?" Blue countered.

"But what happens if our Swords go the same way as that rock? What happens if we go the same way as that rock because we were holding the Swords that were touching the hole?" Vio crossed his arms. "There's too many variables."

"Who cares about variables?" Blue asked, exasperatedly throwing his arms up.

"I do!" Vio retorted. "It's the kind of thing that keeps you from getting yourself killed, not that you ever pay attention to that anyways..."

"I pay plenty of attention, it just needs to be important!"

"Variables are important-"

"Both of you, knock it off!" Green snapped. "This isn't the time!"

Both boys subsided into disgruntled mutterings, but otherwise obeyed. Green let out a controlled, exasperated sigh and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"You two are the reason I get headaches," he muttered.

There was a moment of silence.

"...So, um, are we doing anything about this?" Red asked, pointing to the still-brightly-glowing pommel of his Sword.

"Well..." Vio said, scrutinizing the whole scene closely. "It's proximity-based, so... I can't believe I'm saying this... maybe get as close as you can without actually touching the hole?"

"Okay," Red said brightly, and took the extra one-and-a-half steps that put him literally within inches of the reality-eating void. His three brothers promptly had minor heart attacks.

"What?" Red asked innocently, seeing their expressions. "You said to..."

"...That doesn't mean I'm okay with it," Green managed after a moment spent finding his voice again.

"Don't do that!" Blue gasped. "Din, I thought you were going straight in..."

"Silly, I wouldn't do that," Red smiled. "Besides, I-"

Whatever he was going to say was abruptly cut off as the gem in Red's sword lit up like a firework, much to the surprise of the four Links who, unfortunately, had been more or less looking right at it. Caught off guard, Red flinched backwards – and in the process finished covering the extra six inches in between him and the hole.

He promptly vanished.

"CRAP!" Blue yelled, and sprinted forwards into the void, more on instinct than anything else. Considering the fact that both Vio and Green were right behind him, he couldn't really be judged on it either.

Of course, by the time their brains caught up with what they were actually doing, it was far too late to stop.

And all four Links disappeared into nothingness.

Farore was doing her happy dance. It looked rather like a Cucco stuck in Chu jelly while swimming underwater.

"...Please stop," Din said, grimacing. "That's freaking me out."

"I don't even care!" Farore enthused. "It worked! It finally worked!"

She did a little impromptu twirl.

"So your plan was to... what, flash them?" Nayru asked.

"No," Farore said, annoyed. "The plan was to use their Sacred Item to show that the hole wasn't dangerous. I would have used the Triforce and shown them that way, but for some reason that particular aspect never picked it up, so I had to improvise. Luckily that Sword of theirs counts just as well."

"Well played," Nayru said approvingly. "Now what?"

"Now, " Farore said, flexing her hands, "we get down to business. Courage is about to meet himself, and I'm about to become very busy."

Red tumbled forwards and sprawled onto the ground, narrowly missing a remnant piece of metal from something that looked mechanical.

"Owww..." he whined, sitting up and rubbing his head. "That really hurt..."

Three-and-a-half seconds later, his pain was exponentially doubled as Blue, Green, and Vio manifested and landed on top of him.

"...ow," Red whimpered.

"Red!?" Green exclaimed. "You're alright!"

Despite the fact that they were all piled on top of one another, they managed to give Red a group hug anyways.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" Red asked, confused but returning the hug anyways. "I mean, I just fell a little..."

"You fell in the hole," Vio said solemnly. "We thought you'd been... you know."

Red absorbed that and frowned. "So... your first reaction was to throw yourselves after me?"

"...To be fair," Blue replied awkwardly, "I think we were too busy panicking to register that."

"Well, if you're done panicking, can we stand up now? It's getting hard to breathe under you guys."

"Oh! Sorry."

They took a few moments to extricate themselves from one another and stood, brushing off dirt and various pieces of debris from the ground, then decided it would be a good idea to check their surroundings.

There was the hole still, but that was about the only thing familiar. Instead of a mountaintop, the four Links were standing on a plain surrounded by mountains far off in the distance. There was what looked like the remains of some massive metal machine off to their right – most of it appeared to have been eaten by the hole – and the whole landscape in general looked barren.

"...This is new," Blue decided. "Any ideas what just happened? Or where we are?"

"If it weren't impossible due to the functionality of a void and the workings of physics, I'd say we just jumped across the spatial plane," Vio said, sounding like he'd swallowed a textbook. "But that's impossible..."

"And yet," Green said dryly, gesturing to their clearly not-where-they-used-to-be surroundings.

"I can see that, it's why I've got a headache right now," Vio retorted.

A loud CLANGGGGGG from the remains of the metal machine made them all jump, which effectively cut off the conversation, and an unfamiliar voice groaned, "Owww. Okay, not doing that again..."

Green exchanged glances with his three counterparts, then stepped forward and called, "Hello?"

"Who's there?" the voice called back. "I don't know what brought people here, but it's kinda dangerous right now. You should probably leave."

"Well, we're a bit lost," Green replied, "and we don't really know where we are, so... can you give us directions?"

"Yeah, just hang on a sec," the voice said, and another CLANGGGGGG reverberated through the plain, accompanied by another, "Owww! What the heck, I didn't even use the wrench that time!"

"...You okay?" Red asked.

"Fine, just... having some issues," the voice grumbled, now closer than it'd been before. "Note to self, don't use metal implements to knock metal pieces out of place, it just bounces off and hits me in the head."

"This guy sounds like a wackjob," Blue opined.

"Hey!" the owner of the voice protested, coming around the far corner of the metal machine. "I'll have you know... that... What in Nayru's Name?"

"Vio," Green said calmly. "Care to tell me why the Four Sword is malfunctioning?"

"This is just not a good day," Vio sighed, which told Green he was at a complete loss.

Standing in front of them was a boy who, aside from a few minor differences, looked exactly like they did. Messy blond hair, wide eyes, unfortunately short stature, it was all there. He was even wearing the same outfit, hat and all.

"...That's freaky," Blue muttered.

"You're telling me," the lookalike agreed, staring. "Farore, it's like looking in a mirror that can look back!"

Red shivered. "That sounds creepy."

"This is creepy," the new boy replied. "Who the heck are you people!?"

"Oh, uh, I'm Green," Green said, stumbling over his words a little due to the fact that he was having an internal panic attack but hiding it rather well. "This is Vio, over there is Blue, and that's Red," he finished, pointing as he named.

The lookalike raised an eyebrow. "You're named for the color of your clothes? Weird. Were your parents so surprised at having quadruplets that they ran out of inspiration or something?"

"What?" Blue asked, confused. "Quadrup- oh! No, we're not actually brothers, we just got split."

"Split?"

"Well, formerly we were a boy named Link," Vio explained. "But due to some complicated complications we-"

"Wait wait wait," the new boy interrupted. "Hold up. Did you say Link?"

"Yeah," Red said slowly. "That's our name. Why?"

The lookalike stared at them all for a few seconds before saying, "My name is Link."

There was a long period of shocked silence.

"...What," Blue said eventually. He was too surprised to even make it a question.

It summed up everyone's thoughts quite nicely.

Despite multiple Death Threats, an absurd amount of fighting, Zant's continual demands for a sandwich, and the vast multitude of yelling, screaming, shouting, bellowing, roaring, shrieking, howling, and screeching that every single voice in Demise's head seemed dead set on using, the villains had managed to come to a consensus regarding the naming problem.

Some of them didn't have a problem and just used their name, these being Majora (who had issues), Malladus (he claimed to be a Demon Lord; this amused Demise immensely), Bellum (distinguishable by being a squid; Demise still wasn't sure why this was), Zant (who was absolutely insane, but in the way that made him an idiot rather than evil), Onox (he liked to smash things with his mace, the bloodier the better), and Veran (who was a woman, and who had the personality of a lethal snake).

Then there were the duplicates, which were a bit more complicated. After much discussion, they'd decided to identify themselves based on what they did and where they came from, which was... simple, but effective. Hyrule Ganondorf was from Hyrule, obviously, and had managed to rule for seven years. Twilight Ganondorf had been banished to the Twilight Realm, and because he'd been the one to manipulate Zant into invading, Zant referred to him as 'his god'. Ocean Ganondorf came from a Hyrule that was completely underwater, and as a result was one of the two people who could understand Bellum. The other was Malladus, who apparently knew the language simply because both he and Bellum were demons.

Demon Vaati and Picori Vaati weren't all that hard to tell apart, mostly because Demon Vaati was a giant, one-eyed bat, and Picori Vaati had an actual body with hands and things, but their actions were quite different as well. Picori Vaati had, with the aid of a magical hat, had gone on a quest for something he called 'Force', while Demon Vaati had basically kidnapped the Princess but then turned out to be a puppet figurehead for Hyrule Ganon

Hyrule Ganon, not to be confused with Hyrule Ganondorf, had also been in Hyrule – obviously. He'd been the one behind Demon Vaati's takeover, and resembled a large, slightly blue pig. Lorule Ganon had, at one point, been summoned and controlled by a man named Yuga, and since Yuga was from Lorule had reluctantly consented to use the moniker until further notice. He also resembled a large pig, with the exception of being slightly purple instead of blue.

Then there was Original Ganon, though what made him original was anybody's guess. He'd been waiting for the Hero to challenge him for two years and counting by this point, and was colored a bright teal, with an unusual weakness to silver. And lastly, there was Past Ganon. He'd also been summoned, but by a man named Agahnim, and then later by a pair of witches working with Onox and Veran. Apparently he didn't take very well to that kind of thing and had responded by taking over Agahnim entirely.

Demise approved of that, at least.

Unfortunately, that was about the only thing he approved of. The villains had decided that if he wasn't going to release them willingly, then they would simply have to force him to release them.

And after discovering that physical torture was off the list of methods, they'd moved on to something that was almost worse.

Annoyance.

And thus, Demise found himself being forced to listen to a game of cards that made so little sense he doubted if the players even knew what they were doing.

I play the Queen of Hearts, forcing everyone else to Go Fish, Veran said.

Curse you, woman, Ocean Ganondorf growled. I'd almost gotten rid of all my Red Threes, Fives, and Sixes!

Oh shut up, that would have only gotten you eight points at the most, Lorule Ganon sighed. I move my Joker to the nineteenth space, forcing the rest of you to get rid of your clubs and causing a sudden deficit in the golfing world.

There was a surge of annoyed grumbles as the other players discarded their clubs.

My turn, Picori Vaati said. I draw... and now I can declare Cribbage! I challenge Bellum in the art of the Poker Face for the entirety of his spade cards.

Bellum made a bubbling noise, followed by a few moments of silence -

HAH! Picori Vaati exulted as Bellum bubbled violently. Now All Your Spades Are Belong To Us!

Nice play, Malladus said approvingly, and a slap noise indicated that he'd given his cards partner a high-five.

Not so fast, Majora said coolly. I use the Ace of Diamonds to activate a Dutch Blitz and combine it with my Black Jack to take the Fish Pond.

That is not a valid move! Onox protested.

Yes it is. The Fish Pond is still in existence from Veran's turn, when we all had to Go Fishing. It lasts two-and-a-quarter rounds, remember?

Onox huffed angrily, but said nothing else.

My turn! Zant exclaimed excitedly. I activate my Face-Down, Monster Reborn! Wiith it, I can resurrect one of my defeated monsters, and I choose Dark Magician! Then I combine my Dark Magician with the Staff of Mystics, giving him three thousand attack points and letting him attack your Life Points directly! With that, Hyrule Ganondorf is disqualified and I end my turn!

There was dead silence for a moment.

...Zant, what are you doing?

Playing card games. Oh, do we have any motorcycles? Because then we could play card games on motorcycles, and that would be fun. We could have Peahats for helmets!

Excuse me, everyone, I'll handle this, Twilight Ganondorf said. Zant, do you actually know what comes out of your mouth or do you just blabber like a mindless twit?

Launch the cabbage cannons!

That's what I thought. Majora, please incinerate his cards, I have no idea where he got them from.

There was a sizzling sound, followed by Zant's anguished cry of, NO! NOT THE KURIBOH! HE WAS SO YOUNG!

How, exactly, did you ever get him to do anything for you if he's this idiotic? Ocean Ganondorf asked curiously.

I bribed him with Peahats.

The rest of the villains made 'Ohhhh' noises, while Zant sobbed for whatever a Kuriboh was in the background.

Shall we get back to the game? Onox asked impatiently. It's my turn.

By all means.

Right. I play...

There was a pause, and the sound of shuffling.

Aha! Onox declared. I have a straight flush!

That means you're out, Veran informed him.

What!? No it doesn't, it – oh wait. Curses.

Dangit, Picori Vaati muttered. There goes my last teammate.

Bellum made some bubbling noises, and after a moment of awkward silence Malladus spoke up with, He says he wasn't paying attention and wants to know what happened to the others.

YOU were the 'others'! Picori Vaati sputtered. Lorule Ganon played the eight of hearts which let him steal a teammate and he stole you! It was in the very first turn!

There was another series of bubbles, and Malladus translated, He does not remember this.

I – You – Just forget it.

Bellum responded with a large string of bubble noises which went on for a good thirty seconds or so.

Bellum says that he activates his Pair of Fours, making every other Pair obsolete and winning the hand for this round.

There was an explosive amount of cursing, followed by loud complaints and grumbles as the other players got rid of any Pairs they had.

And... that marks the end of the round, Original Ganon commented. Annoyance Check!

Demise's whole head immediately went silent, and he gritted his teeth. "No, I am not going to release you, and no, I'm not even annoyed enough to consider it. Also, no, there's nothing you can do to make me consider it, and no, I do not care about whatever you'll come up with next because, no, I am not going to release you!"

...Maybe if we tried bad music, Demon Vaati mused.

That could work. Does anybody have banjos?

I have this mental construct, will that work?

Close enough!

Demise just barely held in a groan.

8/20/16

Just to clarify, the card game isn't supposed to make sense. And if I messed something up with the YuGiOh! Reference... well, I could never figure out the rules to that thing anyways.

I like the 'Links meet themselves' scene much better this time, though. And I finally came up with a better way to get them through the hole than that weird 'spot of color' nonsense I was using beforehand.

Changeling

Find me on Tumblr at changeling-rin!

Find the fan-run ask blog on Tumblr at ask-the-dimensional-links!