(If it weren't for the fact that I really don't want to get sued, I would have given up on this whole Disclaimer thing by now.)
I do not own Silver the Hedgehog.
(I mean, I suppose I could just let it be and see what happens... Everyone should know I don't actually own the LoZ franchise, so why not? Let's see where this goes.)
The telling-of-everyone's-stories had by now reached the point of lasting for several hours, and really the only people who actively paid attention to it anymore were whoever was actively talking at the time and whichever Link was new. Thus, while the Four listened (and occasionally, as well as simultaneously, yawned) to Blue, Vio, Green, and Red tell their adventure, everyone else had wandered off somewhere else.
Lore, predictably, had gone to sleep and was somehow snoring in what sounded like aggressive snarling. Wind, who had spent just enough time around Valoo the Dragon to know what the language sounded like, had informed everyone that Lore apparently snored in Firetongue. The statement had been met by confused blinking and the unanimous decision to not ask how Lore had even managed such a thing in the first place, because they probably didn't want to know.
Steam, meanwhile, had accosted Sketch again regarding his various mechanical ideas, and had looped Dusk and Wind into it through proximity and the fact that both Links came from a hometown where, if something broke, you fixed it yourself. They were all in the process of drawing up the self-sustaining lantern schematics and occasionally arguing about where such-and-such mechanism should go. Well, Steam and Sketch argued about it; Wind and Dusk just sort of waited them out when that happened.
Ocarina was, as usual, gravitating to wherever Mask was, and Mask was talking with Realm about maybe, just maybe looking into a compass to help with his directional issues. Realm promptly informed him that he'd had a compass, at some point, but he'd lost it months ago and had no idea where it was.
So really, nothing unusual was happening at all, at least from the group's perspective.
"...weird," the Four decided upon hearing the completed tale from the other Four Sword wielders. "Not that you guys are odd or anything, it's just..."
"Freaky to hear about people who could literally be you with a few small tweaks?" Blue supplied matter-of-factly. The Four nodded in agreement.
"Yeah... but, um, especially hearing about you guys specifically... sorry."
"Honestly? Same," Vio replied. "I have so many questions now. I'm gonna be doing experiments on our Four Swords for weeks."
"Our?"
"Well, yeah," Vio said. "How am I supposed to figure out what makes the effects different if I can't compare the two?"
"Umm..."
"Also, if you don't mind, can I do some tests on you Four as well? Like, reflex responses and things?"
"Uhh..." the Four looked at the other three Four Sword Heroes. From their synchronized expressions, they were either asking 'Help?' or 'What do we do?'
"You might as well go along with it," Green sighed. "Vio can get a little obsessed if something interests him."
"I do not!"
"But," Red piped up, "what about that time with the Moon Gate and the Chuchu and the delayed-release slingshot with the-?"
"Redpleasestoptalking."
"Oh yeah, I remember that," Blue snickered, then shuddered. "Please never do that again."
"I said I was sorry!"
"We don't mind a few tests," the Four interrupted, correctly interpreting that the conversation would go to a very awkward place in a few moments. Vio lit up.
"Excellent! Blue, get your hammer, I'm gonna need it."
The Four silently wondered if they'd made a mistake and dearly hoped that whatever was coming wasn't about to backfire on them.
"...Should we wake him?" Realm wondered, gingerly poking Lore with his foot. "I mean, we're kinda done telling stories now, and I feel like we ought to be on the move or something."
"I think we can let him be a little bit longer," Dusk replied. "I think that the Four and Vio and them are having some quality time or something."
Everyone looked over to where the two sets of Four Sword Heroes were milling around. Vio had what looked like Blue's hammer in his hands and was apparently doing a reflex test on the green member of the Four's kneecap. Abruptly, all four members' knees jerked.
Vio looked like his birthday had come early.
"They seem to be integrating well," Dusk continued, as Vio began tapping the knees of the other members of the Four and becoming progressively more excited with each reflex response. The Four, on the other hand, looked vaguely overwhelmed.
"...I'm sure they're fine."
"So then... what should we do in the meantime?" Ocarina asked.
Dusk hummed thoughtfully. "...I'm going to take a headcount," he decided.
"There's thirteen of us," Mask said promptly.
"Er... about that," Steam said. "Aren't you and Ocarina the same person? Like, literally the same person?"
"Yeah..."
"And," Steam continued, "aren't the Four the same person? And didn't Green and Vio and them used to be one person?"
"That was my understanding, yes," Wind contributed.
"So, shouldn't all of you only count as one person each, then?"
Everyone, especially Mask and Ocarina, frowned in consideration.
"...That is a good question," Ocarina admitted. "Mask?"
Mask shrugged. "Not really my area of expertise."
Dusk tilted his head, thinking. "I did say 'headcount'... I suppose I'll just count whatever heads I see."
"That is ridiculously literal."
"Saves me a headache though."
Lore chose that moment to let out another snore, causing a few people to jump and everyone else to be a little bit more annoyed than they'd been a few moments ago.
"Are we sure that waking him up isn't an option?" Sketch said. "Because this whole 'snoring in Dragon-speech' thing is getting a bit grating."
"Ooh, idea," Mask announced, perking up considerably. "I'm gonna prank him."
"Is that a good idea?" Ocarina asked doubtfully, eyeing his older self with a fair amount of reservation. "I mean, he is kinda our Leader-in-Training."
Mask blinked at him for a moment. "...Oh, you haven't developed my healthy disdain for authority yet, that's right," he realized. "Alright, watch and learn then. Dusk, I'm gonna need your Curse Stone."
Dusk gave him a flat look. "Two questions. One, why do you think that turning him into a pink rabbit while he sleeps is a good idea; and two, do you have a contingency plan for if he freaks out about it?"
"One, because he clearly didn't like it and that makes it excellent blackmail material," Mask replied, ticking it off on his fingers. "And two, of course I've got a contingency plan, what kind of heartless monster do you take me for?"
"You're using a clear aversion against him," Wind pointed out. "You can see where we might be concerned."
Mask sighed. "Look, guys. I know we've only known each other for, like, six hours or something. But trust me on this, I know my pranks. This one's pretty harmless."
Dusk considered that for a long moment, then looped the small pouch off his neck and dropped it into Mask's palm. "Take pictures."
"Already on it," Mask winked, then turned to Wind and announced, "I require your pictograph!"
"Let me find it first," Wind replied, already plunging an arm into his bag and rummaging around. He handed the item over a few seconds later, which Mask balanced on one arm while he used his hands to ease the Curse Stone out of the pouch without actually letting it touch his skin. Whatever side effect would come from that, he didn't want to deal with it at the moment.
Well, he didn't want to deal with it personally.
"So if you sneeze," Vio wondered, "do you do it simultaneously?"
"Yes."
"What about snoring?"
"Uhh... maybe? We're not exactly conscious for that."
"Darn," Vio muttered, scribbling something down on one of his many spare fragments of parchment (he had a habit of carrying at least ten things to write on just in case something caught his attention or he got an epiphany or there was an irritatingly complicated riddle to solve – it happened more than one might think). "Okay then, what about swallowing? Like, if one of you gets thirsty, do you all get thirsty? And do you all have individual water canteens or is it just one and then three of you make the motions while one of you actually drinks? Does the same apply to food? And what about breathing, does that happen in synchronization too? Do you think in unison? Do you dream in unison? You know what, can I just follow you guys around for like the next three months? This is absolutely fascinating."
The Four blinked, looking very blindsided. "Um. We swallow at the same time, we get thirsty at the same time, of course we have individual canteens, food follows the same logic, we're not really sure but probably, no we have individual trains of thought but it's more like mental communication, we have no idea, and we'd really rather you not but we don't think we have a choice in the matter at this point."
Vio paused, then visibly checked himself and winced. "Oh, Din. I'm so sorry, I just went full Science! mode on you guys, didn't I?"
"Just a little bit."
"I'll reign it in," Vio promised. "I'm not normally this inconsiderate, I-"
There was an abrupt and startled yelp from where the rest of the group was gathered, making both Vio and the Four jump.
"What was that?"
Vio frowned and pushed himself up on his toes, trying to get a better look. "No idea. We should probably go check, it kinda sounded like Lore."
"The ginger one with the concerning personality?"
"That's the one."
"Now," Demise said authoritatively, "you all will inform me of your powers and various abilities, and I will implement them as I see fit. I will then use our combined might to utterly eradicate the Heroes once and for all, finally destroy existence like I've wanted from the beginning, and as a result evict you all from my head so I can actually get some mental solitude for once."
...This seems like a foolproof and completely viable plan with absolutely no hidden agendas or possible backlash for me! Zant stated happily. I'm in!
Oh, for the love of – someone slap him for me, Twilight Ganondorf requested.
There were several loud smacks, clearly indicating that more than one person had followed the suggestion. Almost immediately following that came the now telltale fwomp of Majora setting something on fire.
I have no hands to slap with, the mask explained in a bored tone. In the background, Zant shrieked (and somehow managed to make it sound like opera).
I categorically disagree with everything Zant said, Picori Vaati declared, ignoring the Majora-caused chaos with the ease of growing experience. This sounds more like a deal that gives us all the short ends of the sticks.
"Well, suck it up," Demise growled. "Because that's the only deal you're getting. Be thankful I haven't just cast you all out instead."
Yes, why haven't you done that?
"Because – much as it infuriates me – you imbeciles have the potential to be useful."
Oh, that makes me so much more inclined to help you, Malladus said sarcastically.
"Then it's a good thing I don't require much of your help," Demise replied.
How, exactly, does that make it any different from what happens currently?
"This time you're doing it agreeably."
...I feel slightly cheated, Hyrule Ganondorf rumbled. And why didn't we make inquiries about this sort of thing before we agreed to help?
Veran snorted. Because you're all morons.
And you're not? You agreed just like the rest of us.
Yes, but I did it with full awareness of what I was getting myself into. And my bloodlust outweighed my logic at the time.
And you couldn't have enlightened the rest of us? Lorule Ganon asked pointedly.
It was more amusing this way.
Why you-!
"SHUT UP!" Demise snarled. "I am trying to accomplish something here!"
Which is?
"The best way to remove the Heroes' heads from their bodies," Demise reiterated through gritted teeth. "And I would like to know exactly what is at my disposal before attacking so as not to blindly charge in like an unprepared moron."
...Alright, Past Ganon said. I can get behind indiscriminate murder. What do you need to know?
"Start with everything," Demise grinned.
"Din, switch me."
Din frowned. "Why? I thought you wanted to watch the group with the largest Courage concentration."
"That is true," Farore replied, nodding. "But right now they're being particularly oblivious to my persuasions. So I'm moving on to the Minish Hero so I can actually make some progress for a while."
"Good luck," Din said, getting up and dutifully swapping places with her sibling. "He shrank down about two minutes ago and I lost him in a patch of clover. He is really hard to keep track of."
Farore waved a hand, already scrutinizing the reality window. "I'll manage. He's my Attribute, if I can't find him then there's something horribly wrong with the universe."
"Aside from what's already wrong with it?"
"You know what I mean."
Link pushed a clover stalk out of the way for the tenth time in the past two minutes and finally let himself come to the conclusion that he was in the wrong clover patch.
"Well that's just great then," he sighed, turning around and beginning the long trek back to the nearest Portal so he could grow to his normal size and get his bearings. On his head, his hat did a very un-hat-like thing and lifted itself up to stare at him.
"It's about time!" his hat squawked. "I told you this was the wrong patch, but no, why would you listen to Ezlo? He clearly knows nothing about the Picori, his advice isn't important at all!"
Link paused with one foot in the air before bringing it back down and continuing on his way. "Ezlo, you just told me to head back to the woods. You never said anything about this being the wrong patch. Are you sure you didn't forget to say it out loud again?"
This was actually a fairly common problem with Ezlo. He was a certified genius, for sure, and definitely wiser than Link could ever hope to be, but the problem was that he sometimes got so caught up in his own thoughts that he forgot other people couldn't hear them unless he physically verbalized them. Link had had more than one confusing conversation with his partner before he'd realized this little quirk and straightened out all the misunderstandings.
"I am quite sure that I know when I have said something, boy," Ezlo sniffed, which was blatantly untrue, but something that Link didn't feel like arguing with him about at the moment.
"Sure, Ezlo."
On top of his head, Ezlo sniffed suspiciously and craned his neck down to look Link in the eye. "Was that sarcasm?" he asked, narrowing his eyes. Link kept his face carefully blank as he shook his head.
As far as companions went, Ezlo really wasn't bad. He was actually more like the crotchety-but-actually-loves-you-anyway grandpa that everyone secretly wished they had if their own grandfather didn't already fit the bill. He always made sure that Link had plenty of healing potions on him, kept track of when somebody had a Kinstone match for one of their own, acted more like Link's map than his actual map at times, and knew more about the various monsters, towns, and people that Link ran into than anyone Link had ever met.
It was just that, the way he went about dispensing these reminders and informative tidbits... left something to be desired.
"You are going the wrong way, my boy," Ezlo said, as if to prove the point. "The Trunk Portal is to the east, not the north."
"I am going east," Link said, pointing up at the sun in emphasis. "And I'm following your directions from last time, remember? 'Right at the second acorn and straight past the toadstools'."
"It's 'right at the third acorn'," Ezlo squawked. "Don't you remember anything correctly?"
Link sighed, went to run his hand through his hair, then remembered that Ezlo was on top of his hair, aborted the motion halfway through and ended up tugging on his ear instead. "Sorry," he apologized in the interest of avoiding conflict. He turned around and began backtracking to the second acorn so he could go find the third acorn and resume his original backtracking to the Portal.
Ezlo did an energetic shuffle on Link's head as the boy got back on track. "There we go, now we're getting somewhere," the hat said, pleased.
As a point of interest, Ezlo wasn't actually a hat – but, Link supposed that was rather obvious, given that he sat up and talked and did several other things that hats normally did not do. From a distance, he did look like a hat. But the closer one got, the more one noticed that he had eyes, and a feathered crest, and a beak. Really, he looked more like a bird that just didn't have a lower body more than anything else, and happened to be built to sit perfectly upon someone's head. If course, it actually got more complicated from there with the fact that Ezlo wasn't originally a bird-shaped hat at all, but was actually a Picori who'd been transformed into a hat.
That, naturally, required an explanation of what Picori were, which actually got into a whole mess of Hyrule's myths and legends and was very complicated and time-consuming as a result. But the whole of it was that Picori were a diminutive race of mouse-elf hybrid people who lived just out of sight of the rest of Hyrule's population and were actually responsible for the creation of one of the country's most famous weapons.
They were also, after a fashion, the reason that Link was on his whole adventure in the first place. Not even inherently magical mouse-elf hybrid people were immune to the occasional bad seed, and this particular bad seed was named Vaati and had enough magic to make himself Hylian-sized and proceed to take over Hyrule on a whim.
Which was where Link came in, currently on a quest to find the such-and-such magical thing to fix this other, previously-broken thing, which would then allow him to defeat Vaati and put everything back to rights.
He wasn't actually actively on that quest at the current moment, because the Forest Picori population had contacted him through the Town Library Picori population and asked him to visit. It had sounded pretty important, for all that the message had been somewhat short (to be easier to remember and pass along). Something about wondering if he could assist in a relocation – which naturally made Link a bit concerned, because the Picori valued secrecy and safety above almost everything else and there were very few things that could make them leave a place that already fit that criteria.
Which brought him right back to his hike, the not-quite-argument he was having with his not-quite-hat, and the directions he was supposed to be following. He found the second acorn easily enough and corrected himself from there to find the third acorn, which he took the instructed right at and began keeping an eye out for the toadstools he needed to pass. It was a lot more difficult than most people might think; everything looked incredibly different from a height of two inches flat. Link had a bad habit of accidentally mistaking mushroom stalks for tree trunks and flower seeds for rocks, which had led to at least one Incident which he would rather not talk about. Still, if nothing else, it had taught him to pay close and careful attention to his surroundings, if only to avoid another Incident.
And he had Ezlo, who was even less keen on a repeat of an Incident than Link was, and as a result made it utterly impossible for Link to make a mistake like that again by loudly correcting him before he could. The point of it all being that Link located and passed the specified toadstools without any issue whatsoever.
"Ah, there it is," Ezlo announced in a satisfied sort of tone as the Trunk Portal came into view. "Hurry up Link, we've dallied enough already. You know I can't stand wasting time."
Link very nearly snorted at the irony, but caught himself just in time and made a noncommittal noise of generic agreement instead. He then made a running start at the line of progressively taller mushrooms that inhabited the Trunk Portal's interior and used his momentum to bounce up to the top. As he did, Ezlo performed his usual spellwork, and Link landed on the surface of the Portal at full size.
He still wasn't entirely sure how that all worked. The way Ezlo described it to him was that the Portals acted as natural amplifiers to certain spells, which was why it was only possible to change size at the Portals (it was apparently a very high-cost spell). But it was only some tree trunk stumps that could be Portals, just like it was only some pieces of pottery that could be Portals and only some rocks could be Portals. There was a very specific criteria for it all, but Link had no idea what that criteria actually was.
Ezlo probably knew, but Link just didn't feel like condemning himself to the several-hour-long lecture that would inevitably result from Ezlo's explanation.
"Link!" Ezlo squawked irritably, effectively dismantling any further thoughts Link might have had. "Stop standing around! We have important tasks to accomplish!"
"Right, sorry," Link said, and hopped down off the Portal to get his bearings. "So, the clover patch?"
"Yes, yes," Ezlo agreed, twisting up to see over Link's head once more. "Ah, of course. Link, make a left, I know exactly where we need to go."
"Sure thing," Link replied, doing just that.
There was one certain thing about being Picori size that Link just could never wrap his head around, and that was the distance differential. More to the point, it annoyed him like almost nothing else. Case in point, the clover patch that he'd been looking for was only about fifty feet away from the one he'd actually been in, and it took Ezlo all of ten seconds to direct him to it.
It would have taken him several hours otherwise, if he'd continued to look for it without using the Trunk Portal again. He always forgot that it was going to take him longer to get places when he was small as opposed to when he was big. It was why he'd shrunk down to enter the Picori Village with the full intent of arriving within a minute – completely forgetting that it would now take more like ten.
Of course, the fact that he'd been in the wrong clover patch entirely might have also had something to do with it.
Abruptly, Ezlo tightened his grip on Link's head and barked, "Don't take another step!" effectively startling the boy out of his thoughts and making him freeze midway through his stride. He glanced down at where his foot would have landed and winced – the Village was right underneath it. He could also, now that he was paying attention, hear several small and high-pitched shrieks of probably terror, and one lone excited voice shouting something that sounded like "Greenzilla!"
Vaguely, Link wondered if the effects of the Jabber Nut he'd eaten could wear off, because he really didn't think that he was getting the right translation. The rest of him panicked.
"Oh goddesses, I am so sorry!" he sputtered, and immediately retracted his foot. "Just, uh... give me two minutes to come down and see what the damage is."
He ended up taking a minute and ten, because he sprinted, but in his defense he was worried and worry made him move faster. He burst through the Village entrance at the top speed he could manage and shouted, "Sorry about that!" again, just to reiterate the point.
The Picori multitude blinked at him, managing to do it in baffling unison. Equally baffling was the fact that apparently, that many eyelids closing at the same time could produce a sound that was actually audible, and also sounded a lot like a plinking piano.
"Why are you sorry?" one of the Picori asked. "We just got to experience all the terror of a Greenzilla attack with almost none of the collateral damage!" She grinned wildly.
"Er... 'Greenzilla'?" Link repeated.
"It's a local Picori legend, never you mind, Link," Ezlo inserted, raising himself up to have a good look around.
"But what is it?"
"It's an old myth or story passed down through generations that typically deals with religion or the cause of natural phenomena," Ezlo rattled off. "But that's not important right now!"
"No, I meant-," Link started, then thought better of it and gave up. "Uh... any injuries?"
"I stubbed my toe while running in terror," a voice called from the masses.
Link tilted his head in confusion. "Okay... anything more severe than that?"
"We're good!"
Link let out a sigh of relief. "Thank the goddesses, I really thought I'd accidentally crushed something."
"Nah, there's just a few misshapen chimneys now," a different Picori said, waving a hand. "And honestly, the local chimney sweep faction was getting bored, so thanks for giving them some work!" He grinned at the thought, then frowned. "Although, given the reason we asked you here I guess they're out of work now... but I'm sure they were all very excited for at least two seconds."
Link tilted his head. "Do you... do you guys make a point of always finding the bright side?"
"Doesn't everyone?" the Picori answered, frowning as though the very idea was confusing.
Before Link could reply, Ezlo pecked sharply at his head and said pointedly, "Link, aren't we here for a reason?"
"Oh, right," Link agreed. "You guys wanted help moving out, or something?"
The Picori group all nodded vigorously. "Yes," one of the elder women said emphatically. "You're the only Hylian we know who can see us, is nice enough to not mistake us for bugs and step on us, and is willing to be used as a pack mule."
"Okay," Link said, processing that. "But, uh, can I ask why?"
"Oh, yes. Vaati stopped by to gloat his impending future victory over his former culture but suffered a magical backfire instead and now there's a large hole in the world that ate the southern half of the village and hasn't decided to stop yet."
Ezlo all but leapt off of Link's head in his shock; as it was, Link had to fumble to catch his companion before he got too far. He carefully replaced the hat on his head, waited to make sure that Ezlo had a good grip again, and then allowed himself to actually process what he'd just been told.
"He did WHAT!?"
"Well, we're guessing that it was a magical backfire," the elderly Picori woman continued matter-of-factly. "It seemed like the most probable explanation. Most people don't just up and vanish in the middle of derisive taunting without cause, after all."
"So," Link began slowly, "so – your entire town is being erased. By a hole. In the world."
"Yes."
Link took a breath. "Okay," he said again. "Two questions. First, what does that mean?"
"Well," a different Picori began, in the tones of someone who is about to launch into a long and complicated explanation without any real idea of what it is that they're explaining. "It's a hole, and it's been growing, and everything it touches just sorta... stops being a thing. Like, the hole is just black and there's nothing in it, and if anything gets inside the hole then it just isn't there anymore."
"Calling it a hole in the world just made sense," another Picori agreed.
"Okay," Link repeated. "Okay. That's... mildly terrifying, but okay. But, second question, why are you so calm about this!?"
"How else should we react?"
"I feel like literally anything but calm would be appropriate."
The Picori tilted his head. "But that wouldn't help anything. That would just make even more of a mess to deal with. Not to mention that panic is never helpful."
"That is... refreshingly practical."
"We try," the Picori replied modestly. "Now, about that pack mule assistance?"
Link snapped his fingers. "Right. I'll go resize myself. Give me like two minutes, okay?"
"You got it," the Picori agreed.
Link turned and sprinted out the Village entrance again, beelining for the Trunk Portal. He could hear one of the Picori shouting packing instructions behind him as he left: "Alright everybody, you heard the pack mule! Two minutes to ETD, and for Din'ssake let's try and keep the travel snacks to a minimum this time!"
"Out of curiosity," Link said two minutes later as he obligingly crouched to let the Picori multitude load their (adorably tiny) belongings onto his shoulders, "do you have to keep calling me your 'pack mule'?"
"No," the closest Picori admitted, being right next to Link's ear and thus not having to shout like the rest of his fellow tiny people would normally need to when Link was at his full size. "But we've just been forcibly removed from our home and will eventually be forced to watch it be erased from the world as we know it. Don't judge us for our coping mechanisms."
Link paused. "...Fair," he replied. "And I'm going to move on to a brighter topic now. Need any help loading your stuff?"
"That," said the Picori, glancing down at the vast pile of stuff that the Village inhabitants were accumulating on Link's shoulders, "is probably a very bad idea. If you so much as shrug, I think it's all going to go tumbling down."
"So I should definitely not move my arms in an attempt to offer assistance," Link concluded. "Alright then."
"It's the thought that counts," the Picori consoled brightly.
It took about twenty minutes, more or less, for the line of stuff and tiny people climbing Link's arms to trickle off (Link was a bit stiff by then, but he endured the discomfort admirably); then Link carefully rose back to his feet and set off through the trees, heading for the Town Library in a vaguely north-ish fashion.
Then he glanced back over his shoulder briefly; sure enough, from his Hylian-sized vantage point, he could see that part of the Village was being swallowed by a black and utterly unnatural void, with the rest of the settlement looking like it was next. It was growing, Link noted, as he watched the hole slowly creep outward and swallow a few more tiny houses. And that was concerning.
He shuddered slightly, not allowing himself to move beyond what wouldn't dislodge his passengers. Vaati, he knew how to deal with, more or less. Vaati was something physical; he could at least hit Vaati. This... this was something else entirely.
This might actually be a Problem.
Farore blinked, then dropped her head into her dominant hand and left it there. Nayru peeked over her sister's shoulder at the Reality Window just to see what could have caused that kind of reaction, and hurriedly stifled a smile. Din, on the other hand, had no such reservations and broke down into snickers.
"...He went the other way," Farore said, in the monotone of someone who is just very done with it all. "He completely ignored the prompting and went in the exact opposite direction. Is he actually serious."
Din's snickers turned into strangled snorts.
"On the bright side," Nayru offered, valiantly ignoring Din's mirth, "the Courage group should be on their way soon, and they're much more likely to follow promptings. You could just steer them instead'?"
"Well, yes, but this would have been so much more convenient. Now I'm going to have to deal with a herd instead of just the one."
"Condolences," Din managed between giggles, which of course made her sound far less sincere than she actually was. Still, it was the thought that counted.
There was a pink rabbit giving everyone within range the best equivalent of a Death Glare that he could manage. Unfortunately, the pink rabbit happened to be Lore, and Lore did not have a great deal of experience in delivering Death Glares. There was also the factor that he was, again, pink, as well as covered in soft fur, with a pair of large ears and a nose that twitched practically every twenty seconds.
Basically, he just looked adorable instead of what he was actually going for, which was mildly murderous. And everybody else thought it was hysterical.
Mask was actually on the ground with laughter, having leaned over clutching his stomach just a little too much and gone all the way down as a result. Wind was hiding quiet giggles behind his hand, while Steam and Sketch had no such manners and were laughing outright. Realm was grinning, Ocarina was taking notes when he could hold the quill steadily enough, and Dusk was somehow managing to combine 'tastefully amused' with 'resigned involvement'.
And then there was Red, who was too distracted by Lore's lapin cuteness to be feeling anything else, and who was in fact making mental memos to himself about how to incorporate some of it into his own Adorable Puppy Look. It was potent, yes, but Red had the nagging suspicion that it could also be better.
Plus, it gave him the excuse to squee at the cute things, and really, that was the important bit.
Lore, at this point, gave up on trying to Glare them all unto submission and stuck his paws into his bag instead, clearly looking for his Moon Pearl himself since none of his companions seemed inclined to give him a hand this time. He spent several seconds rummaging around as best he could before sticking his entire front half in, making a lot of metallic clang noises, and pulling his head back out to resume his Death Glare.
His whiskers were now in disarray. Half the group went into hysterics.
Lore ignored this with the skill born of being a person who simply does not care, and fixed Mask with an expectantly demanding expression, correctly assuming that the whole thing had been his idea. Unfortunately for him, Mask was one of the afore-mentioned Links who was in hysterics, and thus completely ignored it.
Dusk, on the other hand, had a much better grip on his emotions and also a healthy sense of when someone has had Quite Enough Of This, Thank You Very Much, and quietly leaned down to extract the Moon Pearl from Mask's pocket. Lore accepted the item with a grateful chittering noise and a bit of fumbling, as he currently had paws and paws were not particularly made to hold things.
But then the Moon Pearl lit up with a bright flash and Lore abruptly had hands again instead, and that made everything much easier.
"So," Lore said, pocketing the Moon Pearl and giving himself a quick brush-off, "who's idea was it to prank me? Also, why was I pranked? I get that I was asleep and all, and maybe that wasn't my best idea, but I was awake for all the important bits and nobody can argue otherwise!"
"Story time was done, we all more-or-less wanted to get moving again, and I think Mask was bored," Dusk answered. "But the main motivation was that you snore in Dragontongue and this was the idea with the most votes to make you stop."
Lore considered that. "...Well, that makes complete sense then. Ignore everything I just said that wasn't optimistic, I didn't have the full context at the time and made unfortunately illogical conclusions."
"Told you all," Mask announced from the ground, in a wheezing sort of voice in between the strangled giggles he was fighting down. "I know my pranks."
"It was a good one," Lore agreed. "I would know, I was the punchline."
"I feel like that's not how that usually works," Wind observed.
Lore just shrugged. "It makes perfect sense to me. But, you do all realize, that this means a Prank War."
"Er... why?"
"Because I have to retaliate somehow," Lore explained. "That's how it works. Or did you all think that the Rules didn't apply to you?"
"The... rules of what?" Steam asked tentatively.
"Oh, you know," Lore replied, which clarified exactly nothing. "Now then! You can all look forward to my revenge at a later date, but wasn't there something we were going to be doing?"
"We're moving on," Dusk said firmly, and in a tone that brooked no argument. "Everybody good to go?"
There was a general assortment of nods and vaguely muttered affirmations, until Blue spoke up with, "Hey, has anyone seen Realm within the past ten minutes?"
Silence. A breeze kicked up and ruffled everyone's hair; somewhere in the distance, a cricket chirped.
"Oh, for Din's sake," Dusk sighed. "Alright, new plan. Find Realm, then move on."
"How did he even get lost?" Sketch agonized. "We weren't moving! We were standing still! How could he have possibly gotten lost by standing still!?"
Nobody had an answer for that, but that was probably a good thing. Odds were, if anybody else understood it, they probably would have gotten lost too.
"Are. They. Kidding. Me," Farore said blankly. "How – how!?"
"On the bright side," Nayru offered for a second time, "he was trying to follow your prompting. He just... went in the wrong direction."
Din didn't say anything. She was too busy rolling on the floor and wheezing.
"The one Attribute who's particularly sensitive to promptings and he's the most directionally challenged of the whole lot!" Farore ranted, ignoring both her siblings in the process. Her voice was rapidly climbing into the range of a shriek. "Why do I even bother!?"
"Because-" Naryu started, before being cut off by Farore's snapped, "It was a rhetorical question!"
Nayru paused for a moment and took in her sister's face. "Maybe you should take a breather, Farore. You've been at this nonstop ever since we discovered the problem. I know we're goddesses, but we're not infallible."
Farore squeezed her eyes shut. "I know that. I know that. But I can't, I really can't. Reality is going to end if we don't fix this, and the only way we can fix this is by directing our Aspects around, but mine is running around on tangents and random sidequests and I just..." She trailed off. "I just..."
"Okay," Nayru decided firmly. "Break time. Go take a nap or something. I'll watch Courage for a while."
"This isn't the first time he's taken a while, you know," Farore said faintly. "Remember, that one time when the Twilight was invading and he decided to spend three weeks tracking down shiny insects to trade for a bigger wallet?"
"I remember," Nayru replied, which was mostly true. She did remember that, but the thing she actually had the most vivid memories of was Farore screeching at her Attribute to get on with saving the country already.
...Courage had never been the most prompt of saviors. Oh, he always got where he was going eventually, but it was the adventures in between that had always driven Farore just a little bit crazy.
For once, Realm actually hadn't gotten very far – at least, by his standards. By everyone else's standards, he should not have been able to get down from Vaati's Palace, across the lake that it was currently floating above, and over to the Chambers of Insight in only five minutes.
"I thought you said you couldn't swim!" Sketch complained as the group frog-marched their wayward member back up to Vaati's Palace (and the hole).
"Oh, I can't," Realm agreed cheerfully.
"Then how did you get across the lake!?"
Realm blinked. "There was a lake?"
Sketch gaped for a moment, then visibly decided to just stop trying.
Thankfully, nothing else happened on the way back up. Realm's misdirectional field apparently only kicked in at the Most Inconvenient Time, and then possibly needed a recharge afterwards. So aside from Sketch's impending headache, the hike back up was normal.
It took a lot longer than five minutes, though.
"Okay," Dusk said once they'd all gotten back to where they were supposed to be. "Now are we good to go?"
Realm flashed an enthusiastic thumbs-up; everyone else just tried to catch their breath, because it had been a long climb back up.
"I'm pretty sure that's a yes," Realm offered on behalf of everyone else after a moment.
"Alright then. Let's see where we end up next."
Realm was the first through, being the only one who was actually capable of moving without wheezing. But at the very least, because everyone else was so tired, none of the usual pile-up shenanigans happened.
For the first two steps, that is. Immediately after taking said first two steps, Realm froze mid-step, everyone else ran into him, and they all ended up in a heap on the ground again.
"Alright, question," Sketch said, sounding slightly squished. "Why did we stop?"
"Well," Realm replied, sounding even more squished since he was on the bottom, "I was about to put my foot down, but then I looked at where my foot was going, and it turns out that there's a tiny little village right where my foot was about to be. And I was pretty sure that stepping on it was a bad idea, because that would probably involve accidentally killing all the tiny little people who are probably living in the tiny little village, so I opted to stop moving instead. I'm slowly realizing that action may also have been a bad idea, but for completely different reasons."
"...Sorry," Sketch replied after a minute, "But did you just say 'tiny little village'?"
Everyone took a moment to squirm out of this latest pile-up, then carefully gathered around the diminutive settlement that Realm was pointing out with his foot. There was just something fascinating about seeing a house several dozen times smaller than what everyone was used to, and they all took a good five minutes to just stare and marvel at it all.
Eventually though, Red said, "Uh, shouldn't the people who live in the tiny little houses have noticed the giants staring at their Village by now?"
"Oh!" the Four exclaimed suddenly. "We know what this is! There's this legend – about the Hero before us – everyone says he worked with these little people called... Picori, or something."
"I've always seen it as 'Minish'," Vio said. "But maybe I just read different books."
"Wait, you know what they're talking about?" Blue asked in surprise.
"Don't you?"
"Clearly not."
Vio frowned. "But... hang on a sec. When did I read that book...?"
He trailed off into vague, under-the-breath mutterings.
"Uh, anyways," the Four continued, "Everyone where I'm from considers the Picori to be... well, basically an exaggeration of the past. Like, something the storyteller threw in to make it more interesting."
"I don't think the storytellers were exaggerating," Lore told them.
"Well we can see that now..."
"Oh!" Vio exclaimed abruptly, startling everyone. "I thought I'd read it when we were Link, that's why I was confused. Sorry Blue, it's my bad this time."
"S'fine."
"Hey, guys?" Wind said, from his position at the back of the crowd. "Doesn't this mean that the hole we came from – which is right behind us, by the way – was about to swallow an entire civilization?"
"Do we know that it didn't?" Steam asked somberly.
Everyone considered that. Nobody liked it. Red let out a small noise of denial.
"Actually," Lore spoke up, "I don't think it did." He was staring at the ground, eyes darting back and forth. "See all these tracks? I think all the Picori – or Minish, or whatever – I think they left already. And it looks like..." He crouched down to get a better look. "Yeah, they hitched a ride on someone."
"I vote we follow the mystery person," Green said. "Because if you all haven't noticed, we're in a forest, and we have no idea which way civilization is. Odds are, the local does."
"How do we know the mystery person wasn't just helping the Picori relocate to a new clover patch?"
"We don't," Green said slowly, "but if that's the case, then at least we'll be finding someone we can ask for directions from."
"...Fair point."
"Alright!" Lore announced. "Dusk, take it away."
Dusk blinked. "Sorry, what? Why? I thought you could track them?"
"Well yes, if they hadn't gone right that way over the very thick moss which completely absorbed their footsteps and erased their trail. You, on the other hand, can turn into what basically qualifies as a bloodhound, and I'm ninety percent sure that moss doesn't effect a scent trail." He paused, then said, "Okay, eighty percent sure. Maybe seventy five."
"What...?"
"I've seen some weird moss."
"...Okay," Dusk said, visibly deciding that he didn't want to know, and promptly handed his weapon off to the nearest Link (a slightly caught-off-guard Wind) so he could transform himself. He spent a second to shake himself and settle in, then lowered his head and took a deep breath in.
...Huh. That was convenient. Judging by the scent, their mystery person was actually the local Link. Dusk had several reasons as to why he knew this, most of which were subtle nuances, but the main one was that for some reason, scents had a tendency to manifest as 'color' in his head, and this particular scent was coming up as the exact same shade of green that all the other Links in the group gave off.
"Got it," he announced, vaguely forgetting that he couldn't be understood in his focus. "He went this way."
With that, he trotted off, being careful to keep his pace to something that the rest of the group could keep up with, and focused on the delicate balance following the scent trail while also making sure he didn't run into trees.
Midna still hadn't gotten over her mirth about the last time.
Twenty minutes later, a fully grown wolf ran headlong into Hyrule Town (having forgotten about keeping his pace to something Hylians could keep up with) and scared the living daylights out of the locals. The locals, naturally, responded to having the living daylights scared out of them by fleeing for their lives in the opposite direction.
But then, about twelve (nearly identical) boys of varying age and coloration also ran headlong into Hyrule Town, in the opposite direction of the opposite direction that the locals were running in, which confused all of the locals greatly because this meant that the boys were running after the wolf, and that just seemed a little bit suicidal.
One of them could be heard bellowing, "SLOW DOWN!" as he blew past.
The thing which tipped the balance from terror to full-on confusion, though, was the fact that the wolf (and the group of boys following it) made a beeline to the Library. Because what in Hyrule did a wolf want with a Library? It wasn't like the animal could read... right?
Perhaps, the locals decided, it would be best to just... avoid the Library. By several hundred feet. For at least three weeks.
Just to make sure.
First: I am not dead. This is good, I think.
Second: There's an Airplane! reference in this chapter. Did anyone catch it?
And I'm sure you'll all be happy to know, my next focus is the new Chapter 58. I'm trying a new upload schedule which will hopefully please everybody. I'll let you know what it actually is if it seems like it's going to work.
Changeling
Thanks to hlf1495 and Thegeniusyoshi for favoriting/following!
Pokemon Trainer Josiah: Goodness, that sounds confusing.
LuckeyLugia: This chapter, actually. Now everyone who wanted MC Link, here he is! Accept it and be happy! ;)
Guest: I eventually decided against it on the grounds that Nintendo have stated that Hyrule Warriors is not part of the Zelda timeline. It was a tough choice though.
Find me on Tumblr at changeling-rin!
Find the fan-run ask blog on Tumblr at ask-the-dimensional-links!