So, should I do some while the gods are awake, or do you guys prefer them being asleep? Thanks for reviewing, everyone! I've gotten some requests for Athena…and here she is! Credit goes out to Owlion12 for the actual procedure in a pharmacy! Also, if anyone's had their wisdom teeth out, please tell me what happens before they knock you out (or, better yet, if you've been awake, what they do beforehand). I'LL GIVE YOU GUYS CREDIT IF YOU GIVE ME IDEAS! THANX!
BTW, there will be some…uh…sex stuff in this story, but you guys kind of knew that was coming since the first chapter!
CHAPTER 7: THE NOT-SO-WISE ATHENA
"Athena, how are you?" asked Dr. King.
"Fine, thanks."
"How's your dad?"
"He's good."
"How's your mom?"
"Not here." That was true: Metis had been swallowed alive by Zeus a long-ass time ago.
As Dr. King was looking at Athena's teeth, he made comments (Athena was his favorite patient).
"Well, there's nothing wrong, sweetie," said Dr. King, "but your wisdom teeth are coming in, and I'd like for you to get them pulled as soon as possible."
"You just said there wasn't anything wrong," said Athena. "How unwise you are."
Dr. King ignored the comment and walked out of the room after handing Athena a pencil with hearts on it.
"So, Mr. Zeus, Athena's teeth look perfectly fine," said the dental hygienist after Athena's dentist appointment.
"So…that's it? We can leave now?" said Zeus, getting up from the chair he'd been sitting in.
"Oh, no," said the hygienist. "We took some x-rays of Athena's teeth, and—"
"Oh, gods!" said Zeus dramatically. "Let me guess. She's got a cavity."
"Mr. Zeus—"
"She needs a crown? Root canal? WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME?!"
Athena slapped him hard across the arm. "Shut up, Dad."
"Okay."
"Athena's wisdom teeth are starting to come in, and Dr. King wants you to get them pulled ASAP."
"Isn't it weird how we go to a dentist named Dr. King, when I'm King of Olympus?" said Zeus.
"Shut up, Dad," Athena grumbled.
"Okay."
"Friday afternoon at one work?" the receptionist asked.
"Sure," said Athena, taking a look at her iPhone. "No. I thought I had a son of Poseidon I had to slice open and burn all his innards, but I guess that can wait."
"If you're talking about Jackson," said Zeus, "I want in on the fun."
As Zeus and Athena were heading home, Zeus looked at Athena. "Aren't you a little old to be getting pencils with hearts on it?"
"Dad, it's okay. He's the best dentist ever."
"Athena?"
"Dad?"
"Are you, like, in love with him or something?"
"EW!"
"Just asking," Zeus said.
When Friday afternoon hit, Zeus drove Athena to the dentist office for her extraction. Athena was very nervous, so Zeus offered to go in with her.
Zeus smirked as Athena signed herself in. "Does wittle Athena want Dada to in with her?" he cooed in a baby voice.
"Dad, just walk me in there and, when I'm asleep, you may walk out again," Athena snapped at her father. "And don't act like such a meanie, Dad. You'll have to get yours pulled eventually, too."
Zeus paled. "Yes. Yes I will have to…but not yet!" and he cackled.
"Excuse me, sir," said the receptionist, "we have other patients here. So shut the hell up."
"Athena, Dr. King's ready for you."
Athena followed the nurse back to the exam room. The nurse put a napkin on Athena and looked at her. "Are you sure you want to be put to sleep for this, honey?"
"Yes," Athena replied.
"All right," said the nurse.
Athena never actually saw Dr. King, because she was out before he walked in.
While Athena was getting poked and prodded by dental tools, Zeus was outside waiting for her.
Suddenly, Zeus saw a sexy woman walk in. She had blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile with perfect white teeth. Then Zeus got up and headed over to her. "Hey, honey," he flirted.
"Hi," the woman said, heading over to the desk.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"Daphne."
"Your name's Greek."
"Yeah, I know." Daphne checked herself in and walked over to a coatrack, where she grabbed a nurse's jacket. Then she walked past Zeus again before heading into the exam area.
"You mind giving me a tour of your office?" Zeus asked, putting on his best oh-crap-I'm-lost face.
"Are you a new patient?" Daphne asked.
"Yes," Zeus lied. "My daughter's getting her teeth pulled, and I'm bored. But then I remembered I'm a new patient, so…yeah…"
"All right," Daphne said. "Follow me."
Everyone knows what Zeus wanted from Daphne, but he would have to wait until the right moment.
Daphne led Zeus past the room where Athena was. Athena was lying in the chair, asleep as ever as Dr. King did the surgery.
"So, this is the exam area," said Daphne, "and this is where we treat our patients. Over there's where all the tools are sterilized and stuff. And there's the bathroom." She turned to Zeus. "Any questions, sir?"
Zeus peered inside an empty exam room. "You wanna do it in the chair?"
To make a long story short, Zeus wasn't allowed back inside the office until Athena was done.
Zeus had been sitting outside on a bench, feeding those annoying birds called pigeons, when a nurse walked out. It wasn't Daphne. "Mr. Zeus," she said, "Athena's all done."
Zeus found himself staring at his high daughter. Athena's face was swollen and her hands were touching her hair like she thought something was wrong with it.
"Hi, honey," said Zeus, "Daddy's going to get you home."
"What's my name?" Athena asked.
"Athena," Zeus replied.
Dr. King handed Zeus a prescription. "Get that filled right away, Zeus. I'll see her in a week for a follow-up." He handed Athena a pencil with poke-a-dots on it and led them outside.
Athena and Zeus were on their way to the pharmacy, Athena sticking the pencil in her mouth and pulling it back out again. "This tastes good," she said slowly. "What day is it, Zeusy?"
"Friday," Zeus said. "And quit calling me Zeusy."
"Okay, Zeusy."
Just ignore it, Zeus thought. She's high.
They'd reached Target and Zeus dragged Athena inside.
"Why's there red stuff everywhere?" asked Athena as Zeus helped her to the desk.
"That's how the store was made, darling," Zeus said irritably. "Athena, what's one plus one?"
"Eighty-ten!" Athena shrieked.
"That's right. Now, what's eight plus one?"
"Zero!"
"Correct! Last question. If Zeus sleeps with Hera for five nights, how many babies will they have?"
Athena thought about it. "Are you on crack?"
"I might ask you the same question," Zeus said. "And here we are!" They'd finally gotten to the pharmacy.
The cashier was standing at the counter, eating a burger. "Hi, sir. How may I help you today?"
"I'm here for a prescription," said Zeus. "Her name's Athena."
"Last name, sir?"
"Uh…Wisdom."
The cashier returned. "Here it is. Would you like to speak to the head pharmacist?"
"Why the Hades would I do that?"
"Never mind, sir. Okay, here's the prescription. If you need anything, you can always call us or Dr. King."
"Thanks," Zeus said. Once he'd paid for the drugs, he turned to Athena. "Let's get home."
Once they were at Zeus' palace (Zeus had insisted on taking care of Athena for a few days, since she would be sore), Zeus put Athena on the couch and put in the worst movie of all time: Disney's "Hercules". Zeus liked it because they made him all buff, but Hera hated it because the chick who played Hera was British, and Hera was neither British…nor pink!
About halfway through the movie, Athena started crying. "I WANT MY MOMMY!" she screamed.
Zeus was reading the dosage on the bottle of pills. "No," he said in a monotone. "I ate her. She was good. I should've put some mustard on the side; that would've tasted much better!" He walked over to Athena. "All right. Daddy needs to change out your gauze. Open your mouth, Athena."
Hera walked into the room. "Zeus?"
"WHAT?!" he yelled. "I HATE YOU!"
"I know. The feelings are mutual," Hera snapped at her husband. "I just wanted to say that I thought I asked you to break that DVD of that insufferable movie."
"C'mon, Hera. You have a hot voice in that movie!" Zeus said.
"Hera's fat," Athena mumbled into the pillow.
"HAHAHA!" yelled Zeus. "That…is…a true fact!"
Hera slapped him and—for good measure—slapped Athena, too.
"You're stupid," Hera said to the pair of them.
Zeus sighed and clapped his hands. "Athena, how about some drugs?"