(Can I ask, why me?)
Haven't we established this already?
(Well, er, yes, but still. Did you pick me to make fun of for a reason, or was I just the first sucker to actually acknowledge something weird about the situation?)
Mmm… random roulette, actually. I spun myself in a circle and decided to mock the first creature I saw.
(Lucky me.)
Very. Now, Changeling, does not own the Legend of Zelda beyond several copies of video games, two t-shirts, a hoodie, an ocarina, three books, and a poster. The franchise itself is not one of these things.
(Why do you know my merchandise inventory.)
I'm the Universe. You live in me.
(...Oh yeah.)
Princess Zelda had made her arrival about halfway through the efforts to get the temperature of the ground back down to walking-on-it levels, and it was considerably awkward. Not necessarily because of the sixteen extra versions of her native Link, but more because she really wanted to know how the group had managed to reduce the Spirit Tower to a pile of rubble and the surrounding area into a minor magma pit, all within the span of thirty minutes.
"This is two steps shy of being a newborn volcano," Zelda stressed, gesturing spastically at the landscape. In more than a few places, it was still glowing. "The Spirit Tower is Spirit Rubble."
"Okay, true, but look at it this way!" Steam bargained. "Free hot springs, and we get to rebuild the Tower for less of that structural instability that Malladus was taking advantage of in the first place!"
"There are Spirit Tracks running straight through the center of Town," Zelda countered. "And we can't move them, because they're sacred."
"New trade route!" Steam improvised.
"The Rabbitland Rescue Haven got bulldozed by both Trains," Zelda informed him, rather smugly. "The Rabbitland Man is already petitioning for volunteers again. There are rabbits everywhere."
"Ah," Steam said, and utterly failed to find a bright-side rebuttal for that point.
"I leave you alone for five minutes," Zelda sighed, shaking her head fondly.
"Hey, no, it's definitely been more than five minutes," Steam said. "Like, it's been at least a couple days."
"And look what you went and got yourself into in the meantime," Zelda replied, giving a very pointed stare towards the rest of the group, and the fire, and the rubble.
Steam tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. "Please don't sign me up for the Rabbitland Volunteer list?"
Zelda, to her credit, did try and give Steam a Stern Princess Face, but she'd never been very good at those. "After what happened the last time? I'm not mean enough to make you go through it again." She snickered.
"Rabbits should not be so hard to find," Steam grumbled.
Almost as if on cue, Red let out a top-of-his-lungs squeal. "Ohmigosh you guys it's a bunny!" He promptly scooped a rabbit into his arms, which was black and impossibly fuzzy and had a softly twitching nose framed by long droopy ears. It was adorable. It also gave Steam traumatizing flashbacks.
"Of course Red can just pick them up," he muttered. "Of course."
Zelda made a very un-Princess-like snorting noise. Steam half-heartedly swatted at her. There was a very awkward moment when his hand bounced off her shoulder instead of going straight on through like they'd both been expecting it to.
"...Oh yeah," Steam said.
"I know," Zelda agreed. She moved to bump her arm against Steam's in the easy sort of camaraderie that people develop when saving the world together, which was made all the more special by the fact that this was the first time Steam could actually feel her doing so. "Look, honestly? Hyrule is a mess right now, but the fact that you re-sealed Malladus for good outweighs all the damage you might have caused. Sure, there's a lot of it, and I'm totally gonna have you chip in for reimbursement, but we can rebuild and not have to worry about the future anymore. That's huge."
"Ah," Steam said. "About that," and he gave a quick ten second speal about the Universe collapsing and how Malladus might not be as permanently defeated as Zelda was probably hoping.
Zelda blinked. "...Huh. But you're fixing it, then?"
"Well, yes," Steam said.
"Good enough for me," Zelda declared. "I mean, I already know you can do impossible things-" she motioned at her own physically solid body for emphasis "-so what's one more?"
"Zelda," Steam told her, "you're awesome."
"I know," she replied cheekily. "But seriously, I need you to help pay for the damages. The National Society of Sacred Buildings already sent me a Notice about the Spirit Tower, and they're really not happy that it's in pieces now. You're officially responsible for covering whatever they fine me."
"Sure thing, Princess," Steam sighed.
Zelda promptly bopped him on the head. "Nope. Call me Zelda, or Zel, but none of this 'Princess' and 'Your Highness' nonsense that you keep pulling. You've seen me without a body, we're way past formalities by this point."
"You make that sound so much creepier than it actually was," Steam complained, shuddering.
"Then stop thinking about it that way, you weirdo."
They sat in silence for a moment, until Steam leaned a little more into Zelda and muttered, "Missed you."
"Missed you too," Zelda murmured back. Then she gave him a mock-push and said, "Now, seriously, monetary compensation. Get on that."
"Okay, okay, I'm going!"
Steam took one look at the paper Zelda sent him off with and the number written on the paper, and promptly came to the conclusion that he was not carrying enough Rupees to cover that kind of a fine. He then spent ten minutes cajoling the rest of the group into chipping in.
"How much could they possibly be fining her?" Wind asked.
Steam showed him the paper.
"I stand corrected, they can apparently fine her a whole heck of a lot."
"Is that many zeroes even legal?" Realm asked curiously, having leaned over Wind's shoulder.
"That particular problem is not my problem," Steam told him. "My problem is covering it. Help."
"Yeah, we got you."
The resulting pile of money left everyone's pockets embarrassingly lighter, but Zelda gave them all a grateful smile which of course made it completely worth it.
The rest of the day was spent napping, and occasionally doing something about the still-steaming ground. For some reason, the earth below the surface seemed to be stubbornly set on converting into magma regardless of how much the group tried to cool it down, and while that was definitely a problem and more and a couple hours were spent making sure the area was appropriately closed off, it actually turned out to be fairly self-contained.
Weird.
"Good luck saving the country!" Zelda said, waving. She'd decided to follow the Links to the hole in the world, mostly because she was curious, but also because Steam had given her the slightly-less-condensed version of events over the course of the naps and the magma-quarantining, and Zelda had thought it would be a good idea to see how big of an area she ought to evacuate.
"Thanks, we're gonna need it," Steam replied. Behind him, the group started piling into the void in the usual haphazard fashion. It did look as though Green had preemptively separated Blue and Vio though, so that was a point they didn't normally have going for them. "Oh, by the way, are you gonna need the Spirit Train for anything?"
"I think Anjean was going to put it back in the Tower of Spirits," Zelda said, then paused and amended, "Er, once we rebuild it."
"Okay, so just in case," Steam began, "if the Spirit Train randomly disappears, don't panic. It does that sometimes now."
Zelda blinked at him. "I'm sorry, what?"
Steam grinned sheepishly at her. "I like trains?"
With a whistle and a flash, the Spirit Train materialized from thin air, landed on a set of newly-spawned Spirit Tracks, and rolled to a picturesque stop on Steam's immediate right.
"It kinda ended up as a summons for me," Steam said. "I have no idea how. But this is a thing that happens now."
"Ah," Zelda said, staring. "That's going to be fun to explain to Anjean. Especially because I know for a fact that we left the Spirit Train back with her before coming here."
Steam winced. "I did not think of that before summoning it, no. That's my bad."
Zelda tilted her head. "Can you un-summon it?"
"I… don't know," Steam admitted. "Up until exactly this point the Spirit Train has always taken care of that part on it's own." Somewhat wisely, he left out the part that the Spirit Train usually ended up doing so in response to severe structural damage. He didn't think it was the best idea to tell people that he used what was practically a Holy Relic as a battering ram.
"Maybe there's another trigger phrase," Zelda suggested. "Or maybe you just need to think about it really hard."
"Maybe," Steam allowed.
"HEY, YOU ALMOST DONE?" Lore bellowed from where he was about to clamber through the void himself. "IF YOU TAKE ANY LONGER WE MIGHT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!"
"NO YOU WON'T!" Steam yelled back.
"OKAY YES YOU'RE RIGHT BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO ADMIT THAT I GET ANNOYED WHEN WAITING FOR THINGS!"
"I'll figure that un-summons thing out eventually," Steam decided wryly. "See you later?"
"Of course," Zelda said, as if it was obvious.
Demise had another head-mate. Neither he nor Malladus were pleased about it. Vaati and Hyrule Ganon weren't very pleased either, but they were still in 'emotional therapy' and thus didn't have much of a say.
"Can I ask," Demise growled, "how you managed to screw up so impressively? You had everything going for you. Literally everything."
Do you honestly think I would be back in here if I knew? Malladus snapped. I had my body back! My real, true body! I tried very hard to keep my body, believe me!
Demise, who didn't care and in fact had not deigned to even notice that Malladus' usual smoky skull form might not be his natural state, rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, I'm very convinced," in a tone of voice that did not at all sound as though he was convinced.
...Excuse me?
"Don't start with me, I'm busy," Demise snarled. "Either shut up so I can concentrate or I'll make you."
You're the one who started this conversation.
"EMOTIONAL THERAPY!" Demise decided, and Malladus quite abruptly stopped talking. This may or may not have been because of the soundproof fishbowl that he was now trapped in.
"Honestly, the things I have to do in order to hear myself think," Demise muttered, before getting back to planning.
He had Goddesses to violently murder, after all.
"...Did I ever put a size limit on that volcano I let Din make?" Nayru asked suddenly.
"Er," Farore said, who couldn't remember if such a restriction had ever happened.
"Oh no," Nayru whispered, and vanished in a flash of blue.
Farore sighed. "That's sure to end well," she decided. But thankfully, it wasn't her business. Instead, she pulled over the nearest reality window to see what Courage was up to.
"...Oh dear," she said. "That. That is going to be a problem. That is going to be a very complicated problem."
These boys were going to give her fits.
Wind met Steam on the other side of the void with a quiet fistbump and a soft, "Female best-friend solidarity," before moving away, which Steam had to take a moment to puzzle through before deciding Wind had probably drawn parallels to himself and Tetra. Which, quite honestly, was a nice change from the sudden and unappreciated teasing he'd gotten from Alfonzo about being close with a girl. (That conversation had gone something along the lines of, "So, do you ~like~ her?" "I'm thirteen, Alfonzo." "Why should that stop you from having feelings?" "We are not talking about this right now-")
Seriously, Zelda was his best friend. Thinking about her like that was… weird. Which, was a perfect excuse to think about something else, and Steam promptly did so. Thankfully there were several candidates.
The most prominent one, though, was probably the fact that Realm looked both incredibly sheepish and incredibly apologetic, which almost always meant that he was about to say something the rest of the group was going to be annoyed about.
"Yeah, so, this is my Hyrule," Realm began. "And, uh, I have no idea where we are."
"Are you serious," Gen said.
"Okay, let me rephrase that: I do know where we are, but I have no idea where this is in relation to anything else."
"...Are you serious."
"Yes," Realm said apologetically. "And before you ask, no, I don't have a map."
"Oh Din I forgot about that," Vio muttered in horror.
"Maybe," Dusk cut in, "we should start with what you do know and try to work from there. You said you knew where we are?"
"Oh, yeah," Realm said. "We're right outside the cave where I got my first Sword. It's right over there, see?"
There was, in fact, a cave in the mountainside wall that Realm was indicating, with an old man diligently sweeping small rocks away from the entrance. As if on cue, he looked up and waved and Realm.
"IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE!" he shouted.
"I'M NOT, I FOUND SOME PEOPLE!" Realm shouted back.
The old man nodded and went back to his sweeping.
"He worries about me," Realm said cheerfully. "He should actually be really happy I met up with you guys, he's been trying to get me a travelling partner for ages. He thinks I need someone to watch my back when I lose track of it."
"He's absolutely right," Gen declared. Everyone else nodded vehemently.
"...So what do we do then?" The Four asked. "Just wander around and hope we find something?"
"Nonsense," Realm said. "I may not know where Ganon's lair is in relation to me, but I do know how long it took me to get there the last time I tried. If we start now, we should make it there sometime next week!"
"...Are. You. Serious."
Realm grinned awkwardly. "Yep, sorry."
"Can I just-" Ocarina rubbed at his eyes. "We don't have a map. You have no idea where we're going. And you also have no idea where we are in relation to literally anything else." He looked completely baffled. "Can we at least ask that guy for directions?"
"He doesn't have a map either," Realm informed him. "Kinda nobody does."
"Oh," Ocarina said faintly. "Okay then. We can't even ask for directions. Great."
"How exactly are we supposed to get where we're going if we don't even know where we're going?" Mask interjected on behalf of his older-but-younger self.
"No, I know where we're going," Realm corrected. "I just have absolutely no idea how to get there. So we might as well get started!"
With that, he strode off in an entirely randomly-chosen direction.
"Um...exactly how much should we brace ourselves?" Speck asked.
"A lot," Blue sighed.
Dusk, on the other hand, opted to determinedly march off after Realm, and that prompted everyone else to follow along behind him.
This was going to be… interesting.
The first mishap came in the form of an island in the middle of a lake, which was apparently the only one of its kind in the whole country. This, however, wasn't the problem.
"You can't swim," Blue stressed.
"No I can not," Realm agreed cheerfully.
"Then how did we get here?"
"No idea."
"...What?"
The second mishap came in the form of an archipelago, on the farthest eastern side. It wasn't so much the getting there that was the issue, so much as how long it had taken the group to get there.
From the island in the lake to the other side of the country, it had taken them about six minutes.
"Okay, how!?" Steam sputtered.
"Well, if I knew," Realm began.
"You'd do something about it, we know," Steam groaned.
"I'm beginning to think that everything about him just defies logic," Vio muttered.
The third mishap was an octorok-infested forest, which of course was nowhere near the archipelago and had somehow taken about three minutes to get to. The octoroks were not friendly. They were not friendly at all. There was also far more of them than there were of the Links.
"Oh, right," Realm said. "So, side effect of my condition - I kinda tend to attract a lot of hostile mobs."
"We noticed," Mask said dryly.
"Perfect, we should start running now."
The fourth mishap came in the form of a cave, which wouldn't have been nearly so concerning if it weren't for the fact that nobody could remember how they'd gotten into it. They'd all been too busy running from the octoroks.
This was further compounded by the fact that the cave was dark, damp, unpleasant, and filled with far more Keese than would be necessary, for anything, ever.
"Yeah, that secondary effect tends to last a while," Realm said apologetically, right before all the Keese swarmed them.
In the ensuing confusion, Blue shouted something about Zubat caves without Repel, which of course immediately got him smacked by his three immediate siblings. This, combined with the Keese, caused him to pitch off balance, fall into Green, who fell into Vio, who fell into Wind, who stumbled onto Lore, and it all went downhill from there.
Nobody was quite sure how they made it out of the cave either, but it did take them several hours longer than it probably should have.
The cave really should not have deposited the group into a desert, but that was somehow exactly where they ended up. Sand, as it does, immediately invaded everyone's shoes.
"I think we're making good progress!" Realm said brightly, ignoring the fact that they were also surrounded by sandpits and that half the group has busy trying to haul Lore out of a particularly deep one.
"Pull harder, I am not being a maiden sacrifice to the Sand Guardians today!" Lore shrieked.
"...You're a guy, Lore."
"Which is exactly why I'm not being a maiden sacrifice, weren't you listening!?"
The desert did not border a mountain range. The desert did not even border hills. The group really should not have been standing on a mountaintop with no desert in sight within five minutes of clambering out of said desert.
"...I give up," Vio decided. "This is ridiculous. This is absolutely ridiculous."
"Hey, we're in the general biome!" Realm said, cheerfully moving right past Vio's impending worldview crisis. "We might actually be on the right track this time!"
"...Or it might be a little longer," Realm admitted.
"Realm, this is the same island in a lake from our first attempt," Gen said.
"Yep," Realm agreed, then went back to mourning the failure. "I really thought we might have gotten it that time too."
"Realm, you still can't swim. How did we manage this twice?"
"Well, if I knew that-"
"-then you'd do something about it," half the group chorused despairingly.
Vio's worldview crisis quietly graduated from a headache to migraine status.
The eighth mishap came in the form of a graveyard, which was most certainly not anywhere close to the lake. It probably said something that this wasn't necessarily surprising anymore.
"Oh hey, this is where I got my second sword," Realm commented. "It was really convenient, because I'd just lost my first one. A dragon ate it. I never did manage to get that one back."
"...And do you still have the second one?" Speck asked slowly.
"Actually yes, it's backup for if I permanently lose my third one," Realm informed him. "I've got it here, see?"
He dug around in his bag for a moment… then two… then several more. Awkwardly, he looked back up and said, "So I may have lost my backup sword."
"Of course you did," Sketch sighed.
Abruptly, one of the gravestones slid to the side with a loud rock-on-rock crunch, and an elderly man climbed out from beneath it. He straightened up, stretched, and then turned and came face to face with Realm.
"Oh, for - I already gave you a sword, quit coming back!" He scolded.
"No worries, I'm just lost," Realm assured him.
"Hmmmph," the old man grunted, which somehow expressed his opinion on the situation far more eloquently than words ever could, then promptly turned around and vanished beneath the gravestone again. It slid back into place with a grating noise that actually managed to sound disdainful.
"He doesn't like me very much," Realm confided. "But that's a loads better mood than the one he was in when he gave my second sword to me. I think he was just glad to be rid of the responsibility."
"Why does he live under someone else's tomb?" Steam asked faintly.
"Not sure. It seemed rude to ask."
The ninth mishap was the ocean. Which happened to be on the exact other side of Hyrule. And should have taken much longer to get to than the three minutes it actually did.
"Obviously this is nowhere near where we're trying to go," Realm said cheerfully, "but I think the beach is nice enough to count as a necessary detour, don't you?"
"No," Sketch rasped, from where he was standing as far away from the ocean as he could feasibly get. At his side, Wind patted Sketch's shoulder consolingly.
"Well, everything's relative," Realm conceded.
The tenth mishap would have been a bridge, except that Sketch outright refused to cross over it. The reasoning for this might have been the fact that the bridge spanned a large and violently active river.
"I respect your phobia and subsequent desire to stay as far from wet as possible," Realm shouted at Sketch over the roaring of the river, "but I'm like fifty percent sure that we need to cross this bridge! As far as my direction goes that's practically a guarantee!"
Sketch, who was a solid hundred feet from the bridge and inching further as time passed, did not look encouraged by this. "You said that about the last bridge!" he screeched. "And it collapsed!"
"And I apologized profusely!"
"I don't care where you think this leads us, I am not going through another whitewater experience!"
The eleventh mishap found them back at the beach. Sketch by this point was beginning to look traumatized.
"You just had to lose your shield," he growled.
Realm shrugged, and grinned in the awkward way which meant he didn't have a better response.
The twelfth mishap was the island in the lake.
Again.
"This is the third time," the Four said in amazement. "How?"
"Well, if I knew that-"
"YOU'D DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT," the entire group groaned.
"To be fair, even I think this is a little bit weird," Realm replied.
"Oh thank goodness, if this was still normal I think I might have broken something," Blue gasped.
The thirteenth mishap… was their destination.
"Oh!" Realm said, in tones of pleasant surprise. "This is it, actually!" He peered up at twin mountains, squinting as he evaluated something. "Yeah, this is totally it. Wow, that only took twenty-three hours and nine backtracks!"
"Gah," said Lore eloquently, as he and everyone else collapsed to the dirt and tried desperately to catch their breath. Realm turned his head at the noise and blinked at them.
"...Why are you all on the ground?"
"Because," Gen wheezed, "we're exhausted."
"But it's only been twenty-three hours and-"
"Nine backtracks, we know," Mask interrupted. "We were there."
"Most people would have given up by the two or three hour mark," Wind contributed calmly.
Realm blinked again. "...Huh."
"All in favor," Lore panted, "of a nap."
"Seconded," Gen gasped.
"Approved," Dusk contributed quickly, before dragging in another gulp of air.
It took approximately ten seconds for everyone but Realm to pass out.
"Well alright then," Realm decided. "I'll take first watch."
About ten minutes later, Realm was treated to the incredibly odd sight of Shadow poking his head out from between a sleeping Dusk's feet, and then shoving said feet away in order to clamber the rest of the way out. It looked like he was emerging from a black puddle, and several of Realm's brain functions went a little sideways as he tried to fit the sight into his accepted idea of physics.
"Are you idiots done flailing yet?" Shadow grumbled.
"We actually finished beating up Malladus yesterday," Realm informed him.
"I know that, I could hear all the screaming," Shadow snapped. "I was talking about your hilarious inability to find where you're going. Finally figured it out or do I need to get back to my nap?"
"Oh, no we figured it out," Realm told him proudly. He pointed up to the peaks of the twin mountains and said, "See? We made it a full week sooner than I thought we would!"
Shadow peered at him, and his mouth twisted into a grimace. "You are entirely too cheerful to be in my presence right now."
Realm shrugged, but made no real attempt to apologize for it. He was an optimist, there wasn't much else he could do outside of rewriting his entire personality, and somewhat understandably he didn't want to do that.
"Mph," Shadow grunted, thoroughly irritated. "Should I pay attention to whichever idiot you idiots are going to fight?"
Realm tilted his head. "Well, he is a Ganon," he mused, "but I'm honestly not sure if he ever made a Shadow or not. If he did, I certainly never met you."
"Too busy getting lost in a cave somewhere?"
"Ha, er, well… probably, yes," Realm admitted.
"Uh-huh." Shadow made a point of actually looking around the landscape, since this was the first opportunity he'd taken to do so. "Yeeeeeah, I've never seen this place before in my life. Later."
He crouched down and put a finger back on Dusk's shadow, and was halfway through melting into it before Realm yelped, "Wait! I thought, maybe, you could help with this one? Get to know the group dynamics a bit more?"
Shadow, who was little more than a blobby mass of dark with two red slits for eyes at the moment, gave Realm an incredibly flat stare. He barked out a sharp laugh, made all the odder for the fact that he didn't have a visible mouth.
"No," he said shortly, and then slithered the rest of the way into the shade and finished the conversation with what was basically the equivalent of slamming a door in Realm's face.
Well, Realm decided, that could have gone worse! At least, Shadow still seemed to be sticking around, which was… probably better than the alternative. And hey, he hadn't even tried to murder anyone yet!
With those thoughts, Realm went back to keeping watch. They were right in front of Ganon's lair, after all, even if all the minions were thoroughly terrified of him for no reason that Realm could remember.
(For the interested, it was because of The Great Lynel Massacre, which Realm was entirely unaware of his part in. Suffice to say, there used to be a lot larger of a Lynel population before Realm had accidentally and unknowingly dragged the entirety of them into his misdirectional field and dropped them into a caldera on his way through. Lynels were resistant to a lot of things, but molten lava was not one of them. From that day forwards, Realm had the unspoken reputation of 'The Wandering Death' among the monsters - not that he knew about it, all his opponents were too busy gibbering in terror to say it to his face.)
Meanwhile, Original Ganon sat on his throne in the heart of his lair, and contemplated the news that his (absolutely terrified) Like-like henchmonster. 'The Wandering Death' had apparently found his way to their location and was in fact camping just outside the entrance. No doubt he would soon storm their fortress and bring devastation in his wake.
Or at least, that's how the Like-like had phrased it. Personally, Ganon felt that was a bit overly-dramatic, but in order to keep his minions in a somewhat normal state of mind, it was probably best to take some offensive action.
"Scramble the layout," Ganon ordered. "And make it as needlessly complicated as possible. It's taken him two years to find us; let's see if we can't take advantage of that bad direction of his."
The normal layout was a straight line from the entrance to the throne room, with all the secondary chambers being the living quarters for Ganon's minions and the hidden prison where Zelda was being kept. Ganon's throne and Zelda's prison were locked into place within the stronghold - but everything else? It was rearrangeable, and Ganon had done so explicitly upon realizing that the Hero searching for him would have trouble finding his way out of a paper bag. Not because he was dim-witted, because observation had proved that the boy was anything but; rather, because his sense of direction was so poor that it was honestly surprising that he'd only taken two full years to figure out where Ganon's lair was.
So naturally, Ganon had taken full advantage of this fact, and every one of his minions knew the drill for this scenario. The Like-like squished in agreement and bounced off to relay his orders, leaving Ganon to temple his fingers together and plan.
He would not be going back to Demise, not if he had anything to say about it.
I forgot how nice it is to write something that's not about Trains. This chapter seemed so easy in comparison! Ah, Realm. You and your directional misadventures never fail to feed my inspiration.
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First Responses:
-Dark Pit not Pittoo: Sketch uses the bracelet... sometimes. And of course I've tried my digital cookies. I had to get the recipe right.
-DrBananaFace: Glad you liked that!
-PsycoFangirl: Thank you for being my typo finder. You have NO idea how much they annoy me, so your input is really appreciated. And I can probably work in some more fourth wall shenanigans.
-Guest: Yep, pretty much.
-BrandonBGamer: The Tranformers dude? The one who eats planets? ...I wonder if he's ever had lunch with Galactus? You know, that would actually make a pretty good oneshot. I call it!
-Vanillite the Dragonslayer: Game Theory, obviously. The episode on the physics of the hookshot. That was a good one... Sketch has a bell? Dangit! I honestly thought I had all their items listed out, lemme go check. ...Ah. That bell. See, that's a summons that wouldn't work outside his native Hyrule, so I kinda disregarded it. But the rods are solid. I'll try and remember those.
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