Changeling does not own the Legend of Zelda, nor any of the characters within.

(It works out because I'm barely juggling the characters that I do have, and I doubt I'd be able achieve any sort of competency with more.)

I do so enjoy working with a sensible human.

Two years of captivity had done nothing to Zelda's ability to be a Princess, and while taking care of Ganon's lodgers did take quite a bit of time, it was still astoundingly efficient. Manny and his fellow roommate, who turned out to be named Guy, were sent off with vouchers for the Kingdom Vault, as compensation for the rent Ganon had charged them, and also with a recommendation for their next rental.

The general bewilderment at two men being named Manny and Guy and how amazingly generically male those names were was politely kept silent.

Zelda then immediately turned her attention back to Realm, who - out of fear of another spontaneous teleport - had sat himself firmly on the ground and not moved an inch, and began making a diagnosis. The fact that Realm would start to flicker slightly if he leaned too far in any which direction definitely helped pin down the issue.

"You are most definitely Wandering," Zelda concluded after approximately fifteen seconds of diagnosing. "You're also quite possibly the worst case I've ever seen."

"Thanks?" Realm hazarded.

Zelda rolled her eyes and let out a small laugh. "If you'd like to take that as a compliment, you're welcome to, I suppose."

"Well, why not?" Realm grinned. "Hey, once you help fix me, does this mean I won't get lost as much anymore?"

"Your magic should no longer cause random teleportations," Zelda agreed.

"Nice. What about the regular kind of getting lost?"

"That's a you problem, not a magic problem," Zelda said bluntly.

Realm made a face which most accurately translated itself to, Well, would've been nice.

"Now," Zelda continued, "do you want your Wandering solidly taken care of or do you want a more loose fix to the problem?"

"Loose?" Gen interjected, not particularly liking the sound of that.

"Well, I can either mark the binding on his skin, which is permanent, or I can etch the binding into a piece of jewelry and he can wear it. The only difference is that the jewelry can come off, and if he removes the object then his Wandering will become a problem again."

"Oh, I'd like the loose version," Realm said brightly.

"Why!?" Gen sputtered.

"Well firstly, because it's my Wandering and I get final say in how I deal with it," Realm said. Gen reluctantly conceded that point. "But secondly, because the jewelry option sounds a lot less painful than the skin-marking."

Gen had to admit, that was also a pretty valid point.

"...also thirdly because it was kinda helpful in beating Ganon and I'd maybe like to be able to handle it on my own someday," Realm admitted.

Dusk slid up next to Gen. "It's his ability, it's his choice," he murmured. "We're just here for the moral support for whatever he chooses."

"Yeah, I know," Gen sighed. "Can I at least vote for an armband? It's very hard to lose an armband."

"I was actually thinking earrings," Realm said shyly. "Because, you know, if they're literally attached to me then I can't possibly lose them."

"...That's a much better idea, go with that," Gen agreed.

"Piercings are painful though?" Dusk questioned, thinking back to the bit Realm had said about jewelry being the less hurtful option.

"A full-body tattoo seems like it would hurt a lot more," Realm replied succinctly.

"Wandering Earrings then," Zelda said, successfully claiming the conversation again. "Did you happen to bring a pair or will I need to get creative?"

"Um," Realm said. "I only figured out I had this problem about two hours ago."

"Creative it is," Zelda sighed, smiling. "Sit tight, this is going to take me a bit."

Realm, who in fact had still not moved an inch from his place seated on the ground, grinned back at her. "Yes your highness."

"In that case," Gen said, "while you do that, we're gonna get Realm prepped."

"Prepped?"

"You can't wear earrings without holes to put them through," Dusk reminded him sympathetically.

Realm blinked. "...forgot about that bit for a minute."

"I'll get Red, we're gonna need his Ice Rod to numb the area," Gen said. "Dusk, wanna mark out where the holes will be while I do that?"

Dusk made an affirmative noise, kneeling down and pushing Realm's hair out of the way to get a better look at his ears.

"Erm," Realm said, leaning away slightly. "Is it too late to request a bracelet?"

Dusk gave him an amused glance, tilting his own head so that his hair fell away and exposed the blue hoops in his own ears. "Gen and I know what we're doing. You'll be fine."

"Excuse me," Zelda said abruptly, sliding back in. She held up a pale blue stone to Realm's ear, gauging something, and frowned heavily. "About how many times did your magic act up in the span of your fight with Ganon?"

"I may have lost count," Realm admitted.

Zelda frowned even more heavily, swapped out the pale blue stone for a much darker blue one, and then veritably scowled. "Excuse me again," she said, quickly moving away.

Gen came back, Red in tow, and then the three of them spent the next several minutes holding ice to Realm's ears until he reportedly couldn't feel much of anything at all. It seemed like a job well done until Zelda leaned back into view and said, "He's going to need more than one set, can you prep the cartilage area too?"

"...Okay for real this time," Realm said, "is it too late to request a bracelet?"

Realm did not get a bracelet.

He did, however, get two pairs of hoops in his lobes and a stud in the upper cartilage of his left ear, which was a relatively unexpected development since Realm had only been expecting a single set.

"Well yes, that was the plan," Zelda sighed. "But that was before I measured exactly how intense your Wandering problem actually is. Just one stone wasn't going to cut it."

As a point of interest, Realm's ears were now decorated with tourmaline for grounding, iolite for direction, and fluorite to boost both of them. The tourmaline and iolite were the hoops; the fluorite was the stud. Conveniently, they were all various shades of blue, because Zelda was nothing if not conscientious of fashion when making her warding choices. Every earring was marked with a set of runes that, according to Zelda, would help to lock Realm's magic down in tandem with what the stones were already doing. It would take an actual miracle for Realm to have a teleporting incident with this many preventative measures hanging from his ears.

"And yes," Zelda continued, "you can take them off, if for some Din-forsaken reason you decide that you need to. I'd leave the stud though, it doesn't really do anything without the hoops but if you lose that one then you're really quite screwed."

Realm nodded, then paused, then tossed his head around much more enthusiastically. "I can feel them dangling," he said gleefully.

Zelda quirked a smile. "You'll get used to them," she said. "Now then, shall we leave? I feel quite confident in saying that I never want to see the inside of this mountain ever again."

"How long has it been since you went outside?" Red asked her.

"I have not been allowed to leave this room in over two years," Zelda said levelly, staring at the middle distance with a hollow gaze.

"Two years?" Red gasped. "But - but you don't have any windows!"

"No, I do not," Zelda agreed, hollowly.

"We gotta get you some sunshine!" Red cried, and all but hauled Zelda out of the room in his haste.

"Alright then," Dusk said, and extended a hand to pull Realm to his feet. "Let's go."

Realm allowed himself to be pulled, then looked down at his feet and took a hesitant step forwards. Absolutely nothing unusual happened.

"It works!" Realm exclaimed, absolutely delighted. "This is awesome."

"With any luck it'll carry over to the rest of your directional mishaps too," Gen said.

"...About that," Realm said. "I legitimately just appeared here and I have no idea where we actually are or how to actually get out. Help?"

Dusk switched the position of his hand in Realm's so that it was now more like a prison grip than a friendly offer. "You are not allowed to let go," he said, beginning to lead the way out.

"Thank you."

Original Ganon made his presence in Demise's head known by screaming angrily.

As Demise did not appreciate this, Original Ganon was promptly gagged and dropped into an imaginary corner.

Several hours later, when Original Ganon had stopped screaming through the gag, Demise retrieved him from the imaginary corner and said, "Do you have anything useful to report now that you've been rendered obsolete or may I continue to ignore you?"

Were you aware that getting lost was a weaponizable action? Original Ganon spat. Because I, like most other people with common sense, did not.

Demise stared at the middle distance for several moments. "...Explain."

They've definitely begun coordinating since the last time you saw them, Original Ganon grumbled. And also more insane. Really, how is getting lost a weaponizable action?

"Are you going to say anything else? Or barring that, can you at least express your bafflement silently?"

...Is that why Malladus is in a fishbowl?

"Someone wouldn't shut up," Demise growled.

I'd like to avoid that fate, Original Ganon decided. I can baffle in silence.

"Thank you," Demise muttered.

It probably said something for how utterly done Demise was with everything that he left the conversation at that, which was arguably the most civilly he'd ever interacted with one of his Incarnations.

...Was he going soft in his plot for world domination?

Demise took a moment to check in on his other prisoners. Malladus, still in his fishbowl, was miserable. Vaati and Hyrule Ganon, still in straitjackets, were also miserable. And furious, but that was fairly normal. Demise gauged the level of torture they were enduring and found that it met his standards, which reassured him nicely.

He was just having a soft moment. That was fine. It meant that, whenever he felt like being vicious again, it would be all the more a shock to his victim.

Being evil was all about impressions, after all.

Wind, being in possession of the most effective sense of direction, led the way back out of Ganon's Lair. Realm spent the entire trip clutching Dusk's hand and looking confused - it was painfully obvious that he had no idea where he was going.

...Not that he ever did know where he was going, but he seemed to be especially lost now.

"I keep expecting to end up somewhere else," he confessed when Dusk gave him a concerned look. He touched one of his new earrings and continued, "Plus I think these are really starting to go to work. I feel kinda… weird."

"Well that's to be expected," Zelda told him. "You're feeling proper magic control for what I'm suspecting is the first time in your life."

"It's weird," Realm repeated, and shook his head a little. "Are we sure we're not lost?"

"I'm sure," Wind called back.

"I feel like I should be lost," Realm muttered.

Lore bounced over and beamed at him. "Congratulations, this is how normal people get around!"

Realm considered this. "...It's very linear?"

"Straight progression from Point A to Point B," Lore agreed.

"...Weird."

Shadow was… annoyed.

Or, well, he was pretty sure he was annoyed. He wasn't actually familiar with the emotion he was having, but annoyance felt the closest so that was what he was calling it.

Were all his origins going to be this… nice?

First, none of them had actively tried to kill him when he'd showed up, even though he knew that some of them had seriously considered it. Blue had probably come the closest, even if Green had held him back. Shadow honestly would have understood it better if Blue had attacked. Shadow knew how to handle being attacked.

Not being attacked was… new.

Plus there was this whole inhabiting nonsense that Dusk was letting him get away with. Shadow was quite literally squatting in Dusk's soul. That should have gotten some sort of response, not… whatever kind of agreeable acceptance Dusk had given him. What was wrong with these people?

The normal response to a possession situation was, in Shadow's experience, screaming, begging, violence, or threats of murder, but usually all of the above. He'd been fully expecting that sort of response - in fact, that was why he'd done it in the first place. Murder threats were a familiar landscape. He knew how to navigate hostility. He'd been aiming for hostility, because meeting all his origins had been unusually friendly and he didn't know how to handle that.

He had not been aiming for an apartment rental in one of his origins' souls. It was downright amiable. And Dusk had handled Shadow's needling with something that Shadow couldn't even begin to name. It was probably affection, or something equally misplaced.

Ugh.

And now, whenever Shadow popped his head out to see what all the racket was, they kept being nice to him.

Just, what was even with that? Shadow didn't get people being nice to him. Shadow didn't comprehend people being nice to him. That just didn't happen to people like him. But now Realm was offering group interaction, Dusk was freely letting his own soul function as a rental, all of Shadow's origins were tolerating his presence, and Shadow didn't know how to handle it.

He was made of the Hero's darkest emotions, but whenever he focused on what his origins felt when Shadow was on their mind…

...it wasn't hate. It wasn't even dislike, mostly. He didn't know what it was. The closest thing he could equate it to was annoyance, but even that didn't seem quite right.

It couldn't possibly be… neutrality, could it?

Because, neutrality would imply that there was a chance for fondness. And Shadow was not a person who was thought of with fondness. He just… wasn't.

So it definitely wasn't neutrality. It was annoyance, because that was the only way Shadow could make sense of the situation. The Heroes were annoyed with him, so Shadow was annoyed with the Heroes. That was how it worked. Sooner or later they'd start hating him, and then he could start hating them back, and the whole thing would start being normal again.

It was just annoyance. Nothing friendlier than that.

"I am smothering my baby Courage in affection," Farore announced happily.

"That's good?" Din hazarded.

"Yes it is," Farore said gleefully. "I'm whittling him down with unconditional love and adoration, and sooner or later he'll break down and accept it. It's inevitable."

Din eyed her sister and leaned away slightly. "You… know you can be a bit scary when you fixate, right?"

"He has the self esteem of a snapped Deku Stick," Farore said. "And also a categorical inability to recognize devotion when it's pointed anywhere within a half mile of his location. He needs me."

"And the rest of Courage?"

"I had Nayru ping Wisdom to help with my one Aspect's Wandering," Farore replied, "and the rest are in transit. Hence, I have time to smother my baby in affection."

"As long as you're sure," Din sighed.

"Look, it's been a very stressful set of fights," Farore said. "Don't judge me for my de-stressing mechanisms."

"I would never."

"Good, because I'm about to indulge again," Farore declared, grinning. "Should I send my baby compassion or endearment next?"

Din raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were supposed working on figuring out whether the Kikwis evolved into the Kokiri into the Koroks or if they made the transition into Deku Scrubs?"

"Ah," Farore grimaced. "I'm trying to stave off the inevitable headache by focusing on literally anything else."

Din nodded sagely, being very well familiar with that sort of problem. The entire adjacent dimension that Bellum had hijacked had been giving her fits for weeks. "Compassion," she voted. "I think he needs that more."

"Good point, good point."

Zelda stood at the base of the mountain, face turned up to the sun and arms held out as wide as possible in an effort to soak up as much natural light as possible. Her eyes were closed. This may or may not have been an attempt to disguise the fact that she was tearing up a little.

The group was kindly pretending not to notice, because Princesses were generally not allowed to have moments of weakness in front of their subjects, and plausible deniability was a great and generous gift in certain circumstances.

"I'm coming to the realization," Realm said, Kindly Ignoring Zelda as he did, "that I might have been using the magic that I didn't know I had to make sense of the world."

"What makes you say that?" Steam asked, also Kindly Ignoring Zelda.

"Well," Realm said, "mostly because my head feels like it's been stuffed full of cotton and I feel like I'm missing something important."

"That would probably be these," Speck piped up quietly, and handed Realm an armful of Silver Arrows. "You left them on the floor after you tried to shoot Ganon with them."

"...Huh," Realm said, accepting his ammunition back. He was pretty sure he'd packed those away after using them. Then again, that was what he thought about everything he'd ever lost, so it probably wasn't a very valid thought. "I do appreciate that, but for once that's not what I meant."

"Wow."

"I know," Realm agreed. "It's like… I'm trying to reach for something that's always been there before, even if I never really knew, and now that it's not I don't quite know how to deal with it?"

Speck frowned, then gave Realm a hug.

"Oh - no, not that kind of dealing with it, but thanks," Realm reassured hurriedly. He returned the hug anyways, because hugs are nice, then continued, "I think I just need to get used to it, is all."

"Just making sure," Speck replied. "Oh, uh, is Zelda done having her moment of relief yet?"

Realm discreetly checked; his Princess was now taking several deep breaths and relishing in the fresh air.

"She's about halfway there," he reported.

"Ah," Speck nodded. "She's being very efficient."

"She seems like that kind of person," Realm agreed. Granted, he'd literally only met her mere hours ago and was basing his entire character assessment on those hours, but his Zelda did seem to be competent like that. Anyone who could throw together carved-crystalline earrings with viable sealing runes carved on from scratch in the span of thirty minutes or less deserved at least that much.

As if proving the point, Zelda chose that moment to open her eyes and collect herself, which came in the form of her squaring her shoulders, clearing her throat, and asking, "So what exactly is the sort of mess that we're dealing with now?"

"Oh right," Realm said, suddenly remembering that he'd meant to tell Zelda about Demise but had also rather forgotten to do that. "So, turns out there's an actual god of destruction named Demise and he kinda might have a vested interest in making reality the thing that he destroys?"

Zelda stared at him and visibly spent a minute or two processing that.

"...Well," she said eventually. "Well then. Link, I know you just finished a task for the Royal Family, but I hope you won't mind terribly if I give you another one?"

"I think I'm already on it, but go ahead," Realm agreed.

"I think we can both agree that we'd very much like reality to keep being a thing," Zelda said vehemently. "Demise needs to be stopped. Can I count on you to do that for all those who can't?"

"Your Highness, it would be my genuine pleasure," Realm declared.

Something in Zelda's posture loosened in relief. "Thank you," she said fervently. "I know it's a lot to put on your shoulders, but - thank you."

"No worries, I've got help this time," Realm assured her. Then he paused. "...Did I ever actually introduce you?"

"No," Zelda said, "but I have some guesses." She eyed the next-closest Link, this being Speck still, and made pointed glances between the facial similarities. Realm tugged on his bangs and grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah, so, this is Link," he said, nodding to Speck. "And then over there is also Link, and Link, and Link, and then that group over there is all Link too."

The group, hearing a rudimentary introduction, broke off from the discussion they had been having to Politely Ignore Zelda - for the interested, it had been about the conflicting influence of the Subrosian Circle of Incendiary Materials and the Holodese Culture of Blockading Structures - and waved at the Princess in near-complete unison before getting back to their topic. It was a very enthusiastic discussion. Lore was responsible for about ninety percent of said enthusiasm.

"You're very candid about this," Zelda observed. "Since I'm assuming that these other versions of you are not necessarily native to our own Hyrule and are more of a byproduct of the impending end of reality? Most people would try to mitigate the potential panic."

Realm tilted his head. "I guess? I'm pretty sure you're made of stronger stuff than that, though."

"Oh," Zelda said, blinking. She also may have turned the faintest bit pink, but she pushed on through the conversation so quickly that it was almost impossible to tell. "Thank you for trusting me with the information then."

"Well, if I can't tell my Princess, then who can I tell?" Realm replied rhetorically. "So, thanks for being a listening ear I can trust, I guess!"

Zelda blinked again, then smiled widely. "I think I'm going to like you," she declared. "Make sure to come back in one piece from Demise so we can actually get to know each other properly, with more time than a few random hours between catastrophes."

"You got it, Your Highness," Realm agreed.

"Go save the world," Zelda told him. "Meanwhile, I need to get back to Hyrule Castle to make sure you'll have a world to save. I'm sure my father has been having a terrible time without me."

Realm winced, since he felt like Zelda's two-year-long absence was at least a little bit his fault. "Sorry about that."

Zelda frowned at him. "...You're the self-deprecating type, aren't you," she said.

"Um…"

"Well then," Zelda sighed. "Let me make this quite clear."

And then she marched up and gave Realm a firm hug.

"Thank you, Link," she said into his ear. "You're the Hero of Hyrule."

"Oh," Realm managed in a strangled sounding voice, due to the fact that his brain was short-circuiting because his Princess was hugging him. "You're welcome."

"And don't forget it," Zelda finished firmly. She released her grip, stepped back to resume the proper amount of distance between royalty and a person she'd just met only hours ago, and gave Realm a surprisingly cheerful wave given the circumstances before making her way off towards Hyrule Castle.

…Probably. Realm assumed that was where she was going, but he really had no idea where Hyrule Castle was. He hoped she got there safely though.

"I like her," Gen observed, watching the Princess somehow manage to make picking her way across a mountainous terrain look graceful.

"She does seem nice," Realm agreed. "If I had to spend two years trying to rescue anybody, I'm glad she turned out to be so agreeable about it. I hope I get longer than a couple hours to get to know her next time."

"Assuming we'll be able to make sure there is a next time," Lore interjected. "Void in the world, remember? Maybe we should get on that?"

"You're just impatient," Gen accused.

Lore blinked. "You mean you haven't noticed that about me until just now?"

"No, I pegged you for impatience within ten minutes of meeting you."

"Oh, well as long as we're clear," Lore decided. "But seriously, I'm bored."

"Then come help me collect everyone else, you may as well do something with all that energy."

"Yay, busy work!"

The group was collected, Blue and Vio were put on opposite ends to avoid the usual mishap, Realm was triply sure he hadn't lost any items in the meantime, and the void had been located - this being, conveniently, right between the base of Ganon's mountain and the base of the twin mountain a few dozen feet away. All that was left to do was go through it.

However, Dusk almost immediately regretted being the first to do so, for two important reasons.

Firstly, because he recognized the scenery, which meant this was his Hyrule, which in turn meant that if previous patterns held, he was either going to need to deal with Zant, Ganondorf, or both.

But secondly - and far more importantly - Midna was there. Midna was staring at him with the intensity of a lethal Beamos laser. And Midna did not look happy.

"...I can explain?" Dusk said weakly.

"Oh you can, can you," Midna echoed. "What, exactly, can you explain?"

Dusk opened his mouth, paused, frowned, then said, "Well first, I think I'd like to know why you're glaring at me so I can know whether or not I actually can explain."

"You. Left. Me. Waiting," Midna informed him, enunciating her words with a frightening amount of clarity. "It has been. A. Whole. Month."

"...It was your idea though?" Dusk frowned slowly. "You… bodily threw us into the void the last time I saw you."

"WELL YOU COULD'VE DROPPED BY ONCE IN A WHILE!"

It was at this point that Dusk remembered Midna's favorite method of covering up her mushier emotions was with volume, which meant that she'd probably been actually worried that something had gone wrong. Quite possible, Dusk thought, judging how exactly how loud she was being, there was a decent chance she'd begun to suspect he and his counterparts might have been dead.

...Not that Demise hadn't given it his best shot but Dusk maybe wasn't going to mention that right now.

"Oh Din," Dusk said upon realizing this. "I'm so sorry."

Midna tilted her head, her one visible eye flashing. Abruptly, Dusk also remembered why he usually didn't acknowledge Midna's mushier emotions.

"YOU'D DARN WELL BETTER BE!" Midna shouted. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BORING IT'S BEEN HERE!?"

(Another one of her favored tactics for covering up mushier emotions was to claim that she'd been feeling something else entirely.)

"Well," Dusk mused, "how much collateral damage have you caused?"

"That is an extremely un-educated question coming from you," Midna informed him.

Translation: she'd been very bored (worried) indeed.

"...Hug?" Dusk offered, holding out his arms slightly.

Midna stared at him.

"...If you want one that much, you baby," she muttered, before casually drifting forwards to return the embrace. If her fingers clutched far too tightly on Dusk's clothes, neither of them were going to mention it,

There was approximately six seconds of peaceful silence.

"...Erm," Gen coughed. "Should we… come back later…?"

Oh right, Dusk was traveling with seventeen other versions of himself and they'd probably just seen this entire confrontation.

...That was awkward.

"Absolutely not, you've been gone long enough!" Midna snapped, expertly taking the attention off The Moment while also pivoting her body language to perch an elbow on Dusk's shoulder instead. In a split second she went from emotionally vulnerable to casually about to verbally take someone's head off.

It would have been impressive if it also hadn't been so terrifying, although the fact that Dusk was fully used to this tactic and wordlessly shifted his own body to accommodate her took the edge off a little bit.

"Honestly," Midna continued irately. "Knowing you lot, you went and got into a bunch of near death experiences without me!"

Dusk hummed thoughtfully. "About five or so, I'd say."

"FIVE?" Midna squawked, turning to give her partner a Glare. "That's unacceptable. How dare you almost get yourself killed without my knowledge."

"By all means, come along then," Dusk sighed.

"Thank you, I think I will," Midna decided. Dusk blinked, then turned slightly to stare at her. Midna stared back unflinchingly.

"...Should I bother dissuading you?"

"That's a very stupid question."

"Right," Dusk sighed. "But you should know, I've been hosting a new lodger in my shadow. You might need to have rent discussions with him."

"Oh really?" Midna arched an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"

"No, I already put the fear of you into him," Dusk assured her. "You'll probably just need to back it up to establish your dominance."

"Well, don't mind if I do," Midna grinned. "Excuse me, little wolf."

"Please don't be too loud, I don't want a headache today."

"No promises!" Midna cackled, slipping out of sight with the ease of long partnership and also giving Dusk the very odd sensation of having his soul occupied twice over. If hosting a single possession felt a bit awkward, hosting two possessions almost felt uncomfortable. It was a good thing Dusk had so much experience in this area.

"...Did you just set Midna on Shadow?" Lore asked slowly. "While somehow finagling your way out of being on the receiving end of her displeasure?"

"Honestly the second thing was an added bonus," Dusk replied, shrugging.

"Teach me."

"Absolutely not, the last thing you need to be is more manipulative," Gen sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed those stunts you pull with the villains."

"But that's why I need lessons!" Lore protested. "Think of how much better I could make those stunts with some tutoring!"

"...I'll consider it."

"Yessssssssssss."

"That aside, it's pretty obvious that this is your Hyrule," Gen continued, looking at Dusk. "Any ideas on what we can expect?"

Dusk tilted his head, frowned, then winced a little. "Well... hypothetically speaking, how do you all feel about getting Cursed?"

For once, Shadow had actually been paying attention to what was going on outside Dusk's soul, on the grounds that surely he'd find some evidence for hatred if he looked hard enough, so hearing that Midna was coming in to meet him wasn't a terribly sudden surprise.

The dagger of hair at his throat, however, that was a bit unexpected.

"...I take it you've heard of me?" Shadow offered, smirking. He took the chance to look this 'Midna' over - she was very small, with a blazingly red eye and equally blazing hair (which, incidentally, was twisted into the shape of a dagger and pointed at his jugular). She wore a helmet so comically large that it covered half her face, which Shadow actually found himself grateful for. The look she was giving him with one eye alone made him apprehensive of what she could do with both eyes uncovered.

"Briefly," Midna returned, flashing a grin of her own. A single fang poked out of her mouth as she did. "How do you like my interior decorating?"

"The carpet was inspired," Shadow complimented. The hair dagger was still at his throat and was buzzing with enough dark energy that he was fairly certain it would actually do damage to him. Best not to insult the woman who could kill him with a single thought.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Midna informed him, smirk widening.

"Self-preservation, on the other hand, works almost every time," Shadow replied.

There was a silent and intense stand-off.

"...Ground rules," Midna announced suddenly. "The little wolf is mine. Touch him and you're dead."

"Understood," Shadow agreed.

"The little wolf's counterparts are also mine," Midna continued. "However, I do care about them slightly less. Hurt them, and you're dead."

"Sure."

"And between the two of us, I'm calling the shots." The hair dagger pressed threateningly under Shadow's chin. "Don't cross my lines, and we won't have a problem. Clear?"

"Crystal," Shadow agreed.

Midna beamed. "In that case, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Midna, I'm sure you've heard of me."

The dagger withdrew and relaxed into harmless-looking hair at Midna's back, and Shadow made a point to fold his arms in casual nonchalance. "I was told that if you killed me, it was my fault," he replied. "I'm finding this to be quite accurate."

"Awwww, did the little wolf tell you that?" Midna cooed. "He does know how to compliment a girl."

Shadow, while not having a great deal of experience with girls, had at least met the Princess of Hyrule a couple times and was fairly certain they wouldn't have considered that a compliment. Then again, Midna did not seem to be anything like the girls he'd previously met.

"It's a… pleasure, to meet you too Midna," Shadow returned. "Call me Shadow."

"I think we're going to have fun, you and I," Midna sing-songed. "Also, rent is 20 rupees a week and I do not accept negotiations."

Quietly, Shadow began to reconsider interacting with the outside world again.

Contrary to popular belief, Zant was not actually an idiot.

He was, however, certifiably off his rocker, and as such was best kept supervised. At all times. Without lapse.

Twilight Ganondorf didn't quite remember how he'd apparently volunteered himself to be Zant's keeper, but it was a done deal now and there was no changing it. He knew because he'd tried, and Zant was so firmly convinced that Ganondorf was his personal god that it… well, it hadn't gone well.

He knew approaching in a cloud of magic and malice was going to give off the wrong impression but he'd been a little pressed for options at the time, okay?

This wasn't to say that Zant wasn't useful, because the Twili was anything but. He had the most potent Curse magic that Ganondorf had ever seen and the stamina to layer it over an entire country. Beneath the insanity was a mind that could be wickedly sharp in the moments when Zant chose to apply himself. And while the less said about Zant's fighting style the better, the effectiveness couldn't be denied.

It was just that this usefulness had to be harnessed very specifically, or else it couldn't be harnessed at all. Ganondorf almost suspected that Zant took special pleasure in being difficult, if it weren't for the fact that Zant put an equal amount of inanities into everything he did.

Such as now. When Ganondorf was attempting to have a coherent strategy session, and Zant was being… anything but coherent.

"We have to send a calling card!" Zant warbled. "That way, our enemies know exactly when and where we're going to strike and can match us in an epic showdown for the fate of the world!"

"Why," Ganondorf ground out, "would we ever want our enemies to know our precise location?"

"Because dramatic tension is important," Zant said, unusually seriously. Then he jerked his head ninety degrees to the left and declared, "We need to plan for clouds!"

"...Clouds."

"The sky needs to be appropriately cloudy or else our flashy power display won't stand out properly," Zant hummed.

"Flashy. Power. Display."

"Do you think we'll need Peahats?"

Ganondorf took a deep, bracing breath. "No, Zant. We will not need Peahats."

Zant drooped, physically drooped, so far over that he almost bent completely in half. The tassels on his sleeves brushed his shoes.

"...We can, however, arrange for dramatic cloud-cover." It was best to compromise with Zant, Ganondorf had found, because otherwise there was drama. The cloud-cover seemed like the least amount of hassle - or rather, the option that interfered with Ganondorf's plans the least.

Zant straightened himself so abruptly that he bent backwards into the opposite direction. "Great is my god, that he may plan for clouds!" he cried, somehow managing to hold himself completely parallel to the ground by his knees. His arms stretched up to the sky in a weird subversion of worship.

"Yes, yes, glory to me," Ganondorf grumbled. "Will you stand up straight?"

Zant wrenched himself into a relatively normal upright position, though the way he did it brought the integrity of his spine into question for anyone watching. "How will we enact our cumulonimbus plan?"

Ganondorf was almost certain that Zant was not using 'cumulonimbus' in the way it was meant to be used, but he wasn't going to focus on that. "I'm very glad you asked," he purred. "Because you're going to be the star of the prologue."

Zant made a high-pitched warbling noise, his eyes wide and shining. Ganondorf was fairly certain that this meant Zant was excited.

Well, either that, or Zant was feeling murderous. Those two seemed to coincide for Zant a lot.

Yes, naming the two random old men Manny and Guy is a joke. 'Manny' because man, and they're men, and 'Guy', because they're guys. My humor is very advanced.

Second: I know absolutely nothing about the spiritual qualities of rocks. Everything I just claimed is based entirely on what the internet has told me, and if that's wrong… well then, my bad, I tried, and if someone could please direct me to a website with correct spirit rock information that would be great and I'll update the stuff as soon as I can.

In other news, Midna met Shadow and it was hate at first sight. Can you tell I had fun with that? Because I had fun with that.

And lastly… maybe brace for a long wait? From what my planning tells me, the next couple chapters are gonna be doozies, and Doozy Chapters always take me a while. (The Train Battle was a doozy, and we all know how long that was in production.

First Thanks to ubermaster, ChocChipCookie1, CherryPuffball, DemonCry, Skystar901, and mirroshadow92 for Favoriting/Following!

Second Thanks to Hope's Awakening, Lightsunrise, coolcole, lamisteriosacristal, Seongho1124, OddMeme104, Loreseeker, Duja89, B1GM00D, Maddeus, Taurussable, Dinadinu2512, Bardothren, WyFern Writing, YuuZaYam, Draconicflare, Brisaia, joshjoarm, arrvark, Vicmeister99, Dusk-Weaver-5501, TruthlessOfKorriban, starwarrior247, and rcor0601 for Favoriting/Following!

First Responses

Freefan1412: That's basically the premise for his entire character. But it's really fun to write him.

Bluebird0614: Yep. I took a look at a map for this thing, and dang is it complicated.

Dark Pit not Pittoo: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Guess I missed them somewhere. Thanks!

PsycoFangirl: I was wondering if anyone would get that reference.

Black leaf animations: Glad to hear it./Not sure how I would joke about Iron Boots, but I can give it a shot.

Vanillite the Dragonslayer: The problem with that is it's only a theory. (A Game Theory!) Trust me, this story works a lot better when everyone's alive. And I will definitely check that video out, thanks for the reccommendation./ ...Ravio, huh? Well... he's not exactly a Link, nor does he have a Triforce of his own... mph. Lemme think on that one.

PokemonTrainer4700: Yeah, I did see that. Maybe I will.

vaghn: Oh good.

Skystar901: You read my profile, I take it.

Leafstar16: Yeah, I've realized Sketch has Pegasus boots. And I'm glad you like Realm so much, he's definitely one of my favorite characters to write for.

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