HAT: Unfortunately another short chapter, but there's feels and bonding so hopefully it makes up for the long pauses between updates?
The next morning Pacifica wakes up with a sense of dread.
She looks over to Mabel's bed and sees that it's unoccupied which isn't a good sign. She contemplates her chances of curling up and going to sleep forever, however the chances of her family- namely Stanford "Never-Known-Sleep" Pines- allowing that? It doesn't leave a lot to hope for. She'd rather just slip into oblivion than face her family after all the crap that's happened the past few days.
Just kill me, she prays to the heavens.
"Pacifica?"
Apparently her prayers went straight to hell.
She turns her head and sees Dipper poking his head in with a concerned expression. A dull fire builds into her chest at that expression and she flexes her jaw to keep from clenching her teeth. No part of her needs his pity.
He eases in and closes the door after himself. "Are you okay?"
"What do you think?" She scoffs.
She catches a glimpse of annoyance in his eyes before she turns away.
There's a long silence. She doesn't even hear him move, just feels the bed near her feet dip a little under the boy's weight. She doesn't turn to look at him, but just takes note that he's there and he's a Pines so he's not moving any time soon.
"Y'know we were all really scared," Dipper says quietly. "When we found out you were in the hospital they wouldn't let us visit for hours... nearly a whole day. No one could sleep at all and no one even thought about sending me or Mabel to school. We wouldn't have gone even if they thought to, though..."
"What's your point?"
Dipper sighs and she can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose like he usually does. "I don't know... I just felt that I had to see you and tell you all this... I don't know my point... if I had to guess I think it'd be that whatever you think you're family... we don't nearly die together and not become family, y'know?"
His weak chuckle nearly has her turn over to look at him. Nearly.
"You might wanna text Travis. He's been calling and asking about you, but I don't think he'll accept it until it comes from you."
She nearly forgot about her friend- or wannabe friend? Whatever. He probably knew just the bare minimum about everything. No wonder he's probably panicking. Especially after the first episode with Dan? She's lucky he hasn't barged into the house demanding answers as worried as she imagines he is.
"Yeah, I'll do that," she says.
She feels the weight shift again and hears Dipper walk to the door.
"I won't tell them you're up yet," he assures and then closes the door quietly after himself.
She looks at the door long after he's gone and wonders if she can just sleep the day away. If she sleeps they won't want to wake her to talk and she could let the troubles ready to greet her melt away. Eternal sleep has never sounded so tempting...
She doesn't know how long she lays there before her bladder forces her up to go to the bathroom. At this point she recognizes that neither of the Stans would allow her to go back to her room to hide from... from what? From them? From reality? From her absolute rage and self-pity? She can't decide.
She exits the bathroom and glances in the direction of her room, contemplating if the possible consequences are worth it.
"Pep!"
At that moment Pacifica decides fate hates her.
Reluctantly she goes downstairs and finds Stanley sitting in the living room with a t-shirt and shorts on. He looks tired.
She can run faster than him- that she's sure of- but she can bet Stanford will find a way to track her down within an hour. There's no way she can get out of this conversation.
"Come sit down, kid," he says, gesturing to the couch.
Pacifica walks over to the couch and sits, hands folded neatly in her lap and head bowed.
They sit in silence for long enough that Pacifica chances a glance up at Stanley. He's sitting there observing her with unreadable chocolate brown eyes. Something about the look doesn't let her give into ducking her head back down and avoiding eye contact.
"We need t' talk," he states. As she shifts he leans back into his seat. "Everyone's out. Ford's taken the twins out to observe some flowers of something."
She didn't realize she was sitting so stiffly until her muscles relaxed at the reassurance.
"You know Ford and I love you, right?"
She bites her bottom lip and lowers her face.
Stanley shifts so he's leaned forward on the arm of his chair. "Sweetheart, we love you like our own. You're family."
"Then why did you think about getting rid of me?" She asks quietly.
"We weren't thinking about getting rid of you. You aren't trash. You're a kid and you deserve to live a life that's safe and happy. We want what's best for you and if that means you being happier not living with us, then that's what we have to be willing to do... with you and the twins."
"I wouldn't be happy with anyone else," she says slowly. "You and Gr-Uncle Ford and McGucket and Dipper and Mabel... you're all... you matter to me... so you thinking about thro- giving me up hurts."
"Lucky for you, we're too selfish to give youse three up."
Amazing how they want her, but the people who birthed her and raised her for most of her life wanted nothing to do with her...
Her voice breaks as she asks, "Why did they get rid of me?"
The silence is deafening.
Suddenly she's swept up in a hug and her face is in the crook of Stanley's shoulder. He rocks her gently from side to side. The thoughts she'd been pushing down bubble up and erupt fiercely. The blanket of numbness that kept her from feeling anything was ripped away so she was assaulted by them mercilessly. Every insecurity born from every criticism thrown at her over the years rear their ugly heads and suffocate her.
She begins to cry and she hugs Stanley tight, afraid if she let go she'll drown. "Why didn't they love me?!"
He doesn't speak for a long moment, but when he does he sounds like he's crying.
"Oh, Pep, they didn't deserve you." He smooths down her hair and kisses the top of her head. "Kid, your worth isn't defined... isn't defined by them... they were supposed to love you and they didn't because they were heartless. I... Pep, I'm so sorry I didn't notice sooner... I promise I will do everything I can to make sure you never question your worth ever again."
They don't move for an eternity which was just fine for Pacifica.
When the volatile emotions are drained from her and the numbness returns to her is when they release each other.
Stanley gives her a tearful smile and gently wipes the tears from her cheeks. "I love you, Pacifica."
Overwhelming warmth fills her chest and she smiles back. "I love you, too, Papa."
His eyes water and he he gives her a big smile. "Let's eat some ice cream."
She hopes off the couch and walks with him the kitchen. "Hey Papa?
"Hm?"
"Am I still grounded?"
"The amount of heart attacks you nearly made happen last night? Definitely."
"... that's fair."
HAT: I meant to get into so much more, but the characters wrote themselves and who am I to discourage that?
Soos: *sniffles and blows nose* It was so beautiful.
HAT: Thanks, Soos. *pats back* Do you need me to get the nasal spray? Your allergies have been going on for, like, two weeks.
Soos: Nah, but thanks dude.
HAT: Alright, let me know... *turns to the audience* So, we're nearing the end of this story that's been nearly 5 years in the making. I can finally finish something for once.
Soos: What?!
HAT: Yep. The next chapter will be the final chapter!
Soos: Do you plan on finishing your other stories now?
HAT: *coughs into hand* A-about that...
Soos: Inspiration, I know.
HAT: But know that I plan to do a reboot fairly soon with a new beginning and different plot points.
Soos: And what about the other stories?
HAT: ... so about the thing... will you do the honors?
Soos: *shakes head* You are hopeless. *turns to readers* Please review, dudes!