According to my outline, Artemis is next, so here she is…oh gods this will be interesting!
CHAPTER 13: ARTEMIS GETS APOLLO'S NUMBER
Artemis—one day—was shooting with her Hunters, when Hermes came flying down on his magic carpet (just kidding, he just came flying down).
"Uh…Artemis," Hermes said, taking out the appointment book, "it says here that you're late for your extraction."
"Crap!" Artemis yelled. "Hunters! Assemble!"
The Hunters of Artemis circled around her and listened closely.
"Okay, I'm late for an appointment, so I'll make this quick." Artemis inhaled deeply. "Thalia, watch them while I do this surgery thing; Phoebe, run to the store and spend as little money as possible on s'mores supplies; Mystery, your name is weird; Elaine, set up camp elsewhere—I'll find you eventually." Artemis glared at them all. "Yep. That's all. See you girls later!" And she ran off with Hermes.
Once they got to Olympus, Artemis sat on the bench outside of the office. She had just sat down when Asclepius appeared in front of her. "Hello, Artemis," he said. "Dr. Apollo's ready for you."
"Oh…can't someone else do the procedure?" asked Artemis. "I hate boys." She was now sitting in the chair.
"Sorry, sis," Apollo said, giving her a playful smile. "I'm just going to—"
"NO!" Artemis screamed. "You're going to have to put me to sleep before you put your boy hands in my mouth!"
"Aw, c'mon, sis!" Apollo said, putting his gloves on and turning on the light, "I know what I'm doing. If I didn't, Zeus wouldn't have put me in charge of your surgery." He paused. "Uh…I wasn't supposed to mention that."
Before Artemis could answer, Asclepius put a breathing mask over her face and Artemis was high from that point on.
As soon as Apollo started working, Artemis started giggling. She did some crazy crap: telling Apollo she loved him and how she wanted to marry him. Apollo knew that this was the gas talking, because Artemis would never ever tell him that.
Once Apollo was done, Artemis sat up and rinsed. She looked inside the sink. "What's this beautiful red stuff coming out of me?"
"Uh, sis, that's called blood," Apollo told her.
"What does it do?" she said, putting her fingers in her mouth.
"It circulates your body and feeds your hungry organs and stuff," said Apollo, "and don't put your hands in your mouth or you'll bleed even more."
"You're so amazing!" Artemis squealed. "I'll have to get your number so we can go on a date. Here." She took out her iPhone and handed it to Apollo. "Gimme your number, Dr. Sunshine."
Apollo shrugged and punched his number into Artemis' iPhone. "Here." He handed the phone back to her and handed her a bottle of pills for the pain. "Well…off you go."
Artemis skipped out of the throne room and headed back to her Hunters. When she found them, they all swarmed around her like a bunch of bugs.
"Lady Artemis," Thalia said. "How…how'd it go?"
"Dr. Sunshine is so hot," said Artemis.
"Artemis, I think you've been drugged too much," Phoebe said.
"Nuh-uh," Artemis giggled, sitting on a random log that just so happened to be there. "He was cute. I got his number." And she showed them the number.
"That's Apollo's number!" Thalia screamed.
"So?"
"Why would you date your own brother?"
"Sometimes I can't help it!" Artemis got the bottle of pills out and showed the other Hunters. "Okay, my chicks. This is a bottle of M&Ms. You may each have two, but that's all!"
"Lady Artemis, those are for your pain," said Mystery.
"NO THEY'RE NOT!" Artemis screamed. She started crying. The laughing gas was starting to wear off. "I want my mommy," she sobbed into Thalia's shoulder.
"We'll get your mommy for you," Thalia said. "Mystery, come with me!"
As the two Hunters were walking off to find Leto, Thalia smirked. "I'm not getting her mommy," she said.
Yeah, sorry. It sucked.